FRIDAY, AUQUST 7
THE MORNING ASTOWAN, ASTORIA OREGON.
1.1
Through
The Fiery
Furnace.
Bjr EDGAR WELTON COOLLY.
Copyright, iom, by' Edfar.'Welton
C'ooly,
jf. N oiio end of the'bench in froul
yof Dillingham' gonoral store
t Abner Moon, widower,
peaked faco protruding In
front of hla thin gray lock, one log
crow tbo other lank knm, Jackkulfe
la hl tight band, ahluglo In hla loft.
On the other ond of tbo touch sijuattud
Big Eller, bachelor, fat log apraddled
out, pudgy feet juat touching tbe
ground, black plpo In mouth.
"Borne folka can do tuunderln lot
of tblnkhV not to amount to much In
tbli world, acenm to iuo," nld Abntr.
; "MeanlnT aald Blgo.
"McanluV replied Aimer, pooling a
long abovlng off tbo ahluglo, "some
folka can alt around for an hour aun
nlu' tbeinaolvoa and nevur aay a word
to how their sociability."
"Waal," drawled Blge, puffing vlg
orouMly, "I waa tbluklu' what an all
fired good thing It la that Balonm Cen
ter bna ao many baldbeodod old wld
rora atruttln' around like peacock In
a peacb orchard."
"Why?" nuked Abner, Bfjulntlug al
IMK.
" 'Cause town would Ite fuller of old
tnalda ami wltlder tbnn tbo ftabary
desert la of annd bum."
Abner fell to whittling tbo ahlngb
spitefully. MI reckon." ho mused, Vtbat
It Just Isn't right to fly In the face 01
Providence, and If tbo good Lord had
ever luterided Hlge Ellet for a Romeo
lio'd 'a' inn do blm a leetlo more band
oroe and a trifle leita hlppypotamou.
"Maybe I'm a blppypotaraus," aald
Hle calmly, "or a alligator or a 'noso-
ross, but I ain't losln' no alocp yearnln
for a poatgraduate course In matrl
mony." - ( -
"By Jingo!"' cried Abner, leaping to
hla ftet and ahaklng hU flat "Don't
taunt me, Dlge Eliot; don't ye do It!"
"Ain't goln' to taunt ye, but If you
don't keep out of my way 111 atop on
ye. and I've Been a moon 'fore now
that didn't bare nothln left to It but
t rim."
"You're a conaarned old blow prnit
atormed Abner. "You're a Jealous old
Jeaerat! You know I courted Sereny
Rlmklna 'fore you did, and you tblnk
you can cut me out, but ye can't do It."
For a moment be gyrated up and
down In frent of the aneorlng Dlge,
then darted up the afreet. Blge aat
on the beiu-h and watched blm until
he disappeared In tho distance. Then
be arose alowly and braahed bla clothe
with bla bnudnmin handkerchief.
"Can't, eh?" he soliloquised, glancing
In the direction whenco Abner had
fled. "Can't, eh J Reckon I'll Just
wander down that way and aee."
Miss Rlmklna waa out by the willow
be-due gathering 'green bruah In
clothee basket when Abner came shuf
fling along the road. Ho waa trera
bllng with Indignation nnd fatigue and
at down on the well curb to root.
But he hadn't been there ten minutes
when be snw Blgn Eliot, puffing like
a freight train on a atecp grade, atoer
Ing for Miss Blmklna' modest abode.
"Jumpln' Jericho!" ho cried, gazing
frantically about for aome avenue of
escape. , . - ,
Alroady the front goto was blocked
by the bachelor's pomjious form. In
the rear MIhs Blinking waa coming up
the path. So with the agility of a
squirrel be darted into the smoke
bouse, climbed a ladder and squatted
silently amid the gloomy rafters, from
which dangled numerous uucured hams
and pieces of side meat.
Straight to the open door came
Dlge, then' paused and removed his
hut aa Miss Slmklns approached.
"Why, how d'ye do?" bo began, bow
ing effusively.
"Oh, Mr. Ellet," replied Miss Sim
klni. "I'm so glad you came. I need
omobody to help me smoke that meat."
"Why. ceftalnly, , mum," said Blgo,
his rotund face turning scarlet with
pleasure.
Ho took tho basket from her and
dumped Its contents upon a pile of
leaves on the middle of the smoke
house floor, then struck a match and
touched it to tho leaves.
"Oh, Lord!" groaned Abner from his
elevated perch as a thin cloud of
smoke began rising. "I wish a cyclone
would come along. I wish the town
would catch flro. I wish aomethlu'
would happen to make 'em go away.
I doVt know what I am goln' to do."
"it is certainly very kind of yon.
Abljah," said Miss Slmklns, blushing.
"A lone woman has a hard time try
ing to get' along." She sighed effec
tively. "Must have a thunderln hard time
to watt to mnrry a wldderor with sis
children," snld Blgo dryly.
A grent cloud of smoke was rising
from the Are. Abner waa nearly chok
ed nnd was rolling his eyes desperate
ly to keep from sueezlng. The tears
were running, down his cheeks In
utreams.
"Why, Mr. Eliot," began Miss Slm
klns amazedly, "what do you mean?"
"Heard thnt you were goln' to
marry thnt old ldjlt of an Abner
Moon." came Blge's complaining voice.
Then the door closed with a bang, nnd
a bolt flow Into place. . ,
, Miss Slmklns silt down on the door
step and looked' Up at Iflgtt, ' "I don't
euro," she aald. "Mr. Moon has been
a very kind friend of mine, and, be-
aides, some men don't aeem to bait-
have land enough to declare their feel
ings." .
Ulgo blushed acarlet and stammered,
"Koally, Misa-MIs Hlmklns," be aald,
"I-l-that Is, I long have-have nour
ished a0 deep regnrd"
Uut Just then from aomewhere with
in the dark recesses of the smokohouso
came an unearthly noise.
"Kertychoo-oo-oo! Good Lord-ker
ebo-o-o!"
"Mercy aokesl" cried Miss Hlmklns,
gjuuclng at the cloaed door affrighted
ly, "What In the world was that?" ;
"I-I dunno, mum," gasped Blge.
"Houudod like a cat"
"No, Hain't no cat. There ain't no
cat around the place."
"ICertycbool Ky-choooo! 0-0
Lordl"
"It'a t man, and bu's In the smoke
house," cried Miss Blmklna, trembling.
"He's choking to death. Lt$ blm out-
oh, please lot blm out, Mr. Kllct!"
"Hadn't ought to let blm out," re
piled Blgo. "Ought to keep him In
there till he's cooked to a crisp, He's
a thief, and, he' after your meat
mum,"
"Open this door!" coughed Abner,
"I'm smoked up worse than brier
pipe. I'm blocker than tbo ace of
spadea. I've got to get out. You can
laugh at mo If you want to; you can
laugh till you can't see straight, but I
can't stay here no longer." Ho was
wheeling tike blacksmith's bellows
with a rett l it- - s '
"Who bo yr demanded Rlge cau
tlously. "And what be ye doln In
there?"
"I'm Abner Moon, If ye must know.
replied a weak voice, "and I'm under-
"1 mil UIB A HALF CCBSt) HAM. '
golu' tlie pangs of alow torture. My
lungs art fuller of smoke than a con-
samed old chimney, and I feel like a
half cured ham."
"Oh, mercy!"- cried Mlsa 8lmklus.
"rot)r Mr. Moon! Poor Abnerl Let
blm out this Instant, Mr. Eliot"
Blgo threw open tho door, and Abner
staggered Into tbo tight of day. Ho
waa covered from bead to foot with
soot and ashes.
"Well, well!" began Blgo. "It is Ab
ner Moon, but what a lookln' Moon!
Ho' goue Into total eclipse. He'a nev
er goln' to shine auy more!"
Tm burnt all over," moaned Abner.
"I'm toasted on the outside and fricas
seed on tho Inside. I'm charred"-
"But what was you doln' lu there?"
demanded Blgo. "However came you
to bo in there anyhow?" .
Abner put his hands suddenly to his
head. "I dunno," ho suld. "I was tak
en sick suddenly. I didn't know what
I was doln' or where I was goln'. I
waa dim. I was dlzisler than a yeller
cat with a conulptlo.n fit, and I'm git
tin' dizzy ng'In." Ho rolled his eye
dolefully, then looked at Miss Slmklns.
I dou't llko to bother you, mum, but
if I could llo dow4i-I'm afraid I'm
goln' to faint."
"Ob. dear, dear!" said Miss Slmklns
sympathetically, taking him gently by
tho arm and leading blm toward the
houso. "Poor, poor Abner!"
Blge watched them a moment in si-
leuce. Then ho winked one eye cun
ningly and chuckled to himself.
"Mobbo I'd better go and get the
doctor, mum," ho aald. " 'Pcaw to me
he'a a pretty sick man,"
"Yea, do," replied Miss Slmklns.
"And hurry ob, please hurry!"
Blgo hurried. Fifteen minutes later
he was coming down the street with
Dr. Lavender. He was talking low
and grinning. The doctor was nodding
his head and grinning.
Abner wus lying on tho horsehair
sofa. Miss Slmklns was bathing his
forehead with cold water and holding
one of his hnnds In hers.
Dr. Lavender felt of his pulse and
looked ut his tongue. Then be shook
his bend solemnly. "
Oooc'iicsh, mum," he said, "It s the
worst attack of nervous excitement I
over saw. I do believe bos been get
ting mad at something or somebody.
Ho ought to coutrol his temper. He's
threatened with n rush of blood to the
spine, and that would kill him. If you
will get me a piece of Ice, mum"
Miss Slmklns hurried to the kitchen
and In a moiueut returned with some
Ice lu a pnu. Dr.. Lavender took
piece tho Kl;:e of n hickory nut nnd
looked at Abner.
"Do you think you could sit up n
minute, Mr. Moon?" he asked.
"I I dunno," Abner replied weakly,
'but I'll try," .
He put one arm uround Miss Sim-
kins' nc,; and raised himself. The
doctor dropped tin- ! down bis back
"Jumpln Jericho!" ho screeched,
falling back upon the sofa. "What
d'ye do that for? Tryln' to give we
Iplnnl meningitis?"
"If Just a I fenrpd," sold Dr. Lav
wider. "He's gettlu' tlrlcnt"
"You're a consplrln' old Nero!"
yollod Abner. "You've plotted with
Blgo Ellet to make fool of uie. But
I ain't goln' to let ye do It I'm goln'
home this very minute."
"There, there, Abner!" said Mls
Blmklna solicitously, "Do try and
calm yourself." 4
"I'll try, Hereny," be replied meekly,
1 "You see, mum," explained the doc
tor, "they always act that way when
tboy have hysteria. They always
think you are trying to torture 'em,
If you'll kindly get somo cloth, mum,
and noma mustard, we'll make some
plasters. Lot' see." Blge wa bunt
Ing for something under bis chair. His
handkerchief waa stuffed In his mouth,
and be was blue In the face. "We'll
need one plaster for hla chest, another
for bis back and one for the sole of
tacb foot"
"You're not goln' to put them fool
things on me!" bowled Abner, sitting
up and glaring as If he was going
ttark mad. "I tell you, I ain't goln' to
lot ye make any bigger Id J It of me
than ye have already."
"Mobby we'd better chloroform him."
suggested Blgo. "Mebby we'd better
strap blm to a board.'.!
"It's too bad to have to put these
things on anybody," soliloquized Dr.
Lavonder dryly while be and Blge El
let were affixing the plasters. "Would
not wonder but they'll disfigure blm
for life."
"And he ain't any too good lookln'
as It Is, goodness knows," added Blgp
sympathetically.
"Go ahead nnd taunt me," growled
Abner In a muffled voice from the en
vironment of bla disarranged clothing.
"There," aald the doctor Anally, fas
tening the lust band and rising to his
feet. "Now we must keep him warm.
He ought to hnve a couple of blankets
and three or four bedqullta on top of
blm." .
"Sereny," observed Abner a few
moments later, peering out from be
neath a mountain of bedclothes like a
rabbit peeking from under a straw
stack, "I don't feel like I was very
long for this world. I'm half cured
bam covered with mustard. ! feel
like a moldy old sandwich." He turn
ed his face toward tbe wall and
groaned.
'Oh, Abner." said Miss Slmklns
cheerfully, "do try and bear up, Ab
ner!" .
"And, Sereny," be resumed weakly,
when they take them poultices offen
me I'll be the reddest Moon anybody
ever saw. I'll be ao lurid that I won't
dare to go home for fear of glvin' my
children the scarlet fever." . -
"There, there," crooned Mis 81mklns
cheerily; "don't you go to worryln'
about them children, Abner."
He turned and looked at her tender
ly. "Sereny," he aald, "would you
really like to look after 'em-always?
Would you care to marry" ne
paused suddenly and rolled his eyes
like one In mortal agony. Ills breath
came In gasps. His mouth was wide
open.
"Fire! Fire!" be roared suddenly.
trylug desperately to push the covers
off. "I'm ablaze from one end of me
to the other. I'm a ragln' conflagra
tion. In Just three minutes there won't
be nothln' left of me but a bed of
coals. I'm sufferln' spontaneous com
bustion, 1 toll ye! Won't somebody
please put me out?"
Miss Slmklns wrung her hands In
fright "Oh. Dr. Laveudcr!" she cried.
"Oh, Mr. Ellet! Do something for
him, can't you?" r
"Mebby I'd better throw a bucket of
water on hi in'," said Blge. "Mebby I'd
better turn In a fire alarm."
'Cousarn ye!" groaned Abner. "I
want ye to take them things offen me.
They've drawed my wishbone and my
spinal column together already, and
tbo soles of my feet are clinging to my
kneecaps like a stone bruise to a boy's
heel."
"Bo there any blisters on ye?" asked
Dr. Lavender.
"There's Just, one," snorted Abner,
but it's bigger than a barn door, and
I'm right in the middle of it."
"Too bad," said the doctor solemnly.
"When plasters take effect as quick as
that It shows his nervous System is a
total wreck.' He opened his medicine
case, took out a bottle, shook it and
held it between him and the light
"I'm aftald, mum," he resumed sad
ly, "I'll have to give him a dose of
this, after all. I bate to do it but it's
the only chance left us." ne poured
a little into a spoon. Abner was
watching him with a florid but anx
ious face.
"It may cure him, mum." he re
sumed gravely. "If It does, be will be
a well man In ten minutes, but if It
doesn't, mum, it will kill him deader
than a nit"
Abner clutched the bedclothes con
vulsively. He tried to speak, but he
could only gurgle like elder pourln;;
out of a Jug. and n cold sweat broke
out nil over utsu.
"N-n-no." he g.'.pped. throwing o,'f
the covers ami Klrtlng up o;i th; e:!g.'
of the sofa, "I wo-.fi1 take I:! Tlure -
nothln' nilln' me but Just plalii fiviHsh-
ness, I came here to coni'i Se'.Vtjy, nml
when I saw Blge Ellet eomln' I hid In
the smokehouse. .But I'm g.iln' ho:;j
now, I ain't gola' to 'lis'.:' Sereny t.i .
mnrry me. I wouldn't ml; i::t" ' vo":a:i
to marry a'cousnrned ldjll that'll ki s
couple of heartless heretics make a
dogrntted dunce of him."
"But I want to marry you! erica
.Miss Slmklns. laughing ami weeping
by tujns, "J don't .care If you have
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oeen offered up aa '"burnt lacTUJce.
tyu've passed through the fiery fur
nace triumphant and I'll marry yon if
you say the word, Abner."
, She put one arm around hla neck
and rested her head affectionately
upon his shoulder.
Tgh!" groaned Abner, twisting hla
face Into a horrible grimace. ' 1 love
ye, Sereny, and I'll marry ye, but
please don't plller your head on that
poultice, Sereny." "
THE ANDEAN WALL
Crowing the Chilean Cordillera In
Winter and In Summer.
The wall of tbe Andes begins at tbe
Caribbean nnd runs all tbe way down
tbe western edge of South America un
til it trails off into tbe Antarctic like n
Jagged, dragon's tall. It is a very high
wall and a very wide one sometimes
scores and sometimes hundreds of
miles across and except In a few
places all but Impassable. There Is
the Oroya railroad In central Peru, the
highest in the world., which will take
you from the drowsy tropical coast at
breakfast time and by early afternoon
set you on tbe roof of the divide, shiv
ering and breathing fast 15,500 feet
above tbe sea. There Is a railroad up
to Lake Tltlcaca from Mollendo. In
southern Peru, which crosses the
shoulder of the Andes at an altitude
about a thousand feet lower, and there
Is a railroad running down into Chile
and tbe coast from the Bolivian plateau.-
Tbe only railroad highway
which crosses the continent however.
Is that which climbs tbe Chilean moun
tains to tbe puss of Uspallata and runs
thence, across the pampa to Buenas
Aires. Some day this will be a through
line from sea to sou, und In a dozen or
cjre place? tunnel gangs, tge .nibbling
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"- oay cost of packing and portage if you will mention that yc
aw ths Advertisement in this paper. The sample alone may be sufficier.i
if defects are trivial. '
Desk 22 ESTHETIC CHEMICAL CO.. 31 West 125th St New York
under "the upper Cordillera. But Bow
It la open only during the summer, and
even then the fourteen kilometers over
the Cumbre. or summit of tbe pass.
must be made by stage. In winter no
attempt Is made to cross, and from
Mendoza. In the Argentine foothWs.
over to Los Andes, on the Chilean side,
about 150 miles, tbe road is closed.
The Andes In these parts rise to ap
palling heights, the loftiest of which
is Aconcagua'a 24,000 feet and the pass
Itself Is at not far from 13.000-3.0DO
meters, to be exact During the winter
the months of our northern summer
It Is buried in snow,- the deadly tern
poral Is likely at any time to whirl
down on the traveler, and crossing the
cordillera Is as different a thing from
crossing It In summer as crossing a
prairie carpeted with spring violets Is
different from venturing into it during
a bllzsard. when a man may lose his
way and freeze to death a furlong
from tbe ranch house door. Whoever
tries to cross after the 1st of June Is
supposed to take bis life in his hands.
Scrlbner'a.
Antiquity of the Oath.
s Tbe oath Is practically as old as his
tory. As far back aa we can go we
find aome form of appeal to the forces
that are stronger than man. The oath
calling God to witness Is of course
; much later than that made In tbe name
' of the powers of nature, fire, flood and
, tempest or the ferocity of wild beasts
I or the terror of the pestilence. The
i gesture of the raised hand and the for-
mula. "So help me God," are of Jewlsh
Chrlstlnn origin, although the ancient
' nations swore in tbe name of their
gods.
Subscribe for the Morning Astorian,
60 cents per month, delivered by
carrier.
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3
S. A. GIMRE
543 Bond Street ' '
TRANSPORTATION.
The "K" Line
PASSENGERS
FREIGHT
Steamer - Lurline
Night Boat for Portland and
Way Landings.
Leaves Astoria daily except Sunday
at 7 p. m.
Leaves Portland Daily Except Sunday
t 7 a. m. -
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Landing Portland Foot Taylor St
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Phone Main 2761.
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Rooms for rent by the day, week, or
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