The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930, July 25, 1908, Image 3

Historic Oregon Newspapers

The morning Astorian., July 25, 1908, Page 3, Image 3

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Newspaper Page Text14 (DestlnyanF The Dog. y EDGAR WILTON COOICY. Copyright, IMs, bjr Edgar W.llon i , : Cooler.: v. D back EACON I'ltlAII PAIITUIDOR, long, luuk and dlgnlOiid, itguut- tod llk a half tod turkey gob bier on a limb In Mitt Cullen' yard, buldlnar u tha dumrllntr Iklrta of bin Prince Albert wltb bin loft and aud shaking bin right Out npltw fully at MUta Culleu'e anottnd bull ter rler, crouched threateningly at tbo foot (. jbw free and eying hjjn ltli calm lud pa tbmt persistence. Unci Bimeon Tate Decked over tba olcket fence, hi imootb, rotund fact look lug Ilka th run moon just riving above (tut Horizon lino, tbe tear counting down bla chunk, bla mouth preoccupied wltb an aggravating grin aud bla fat aide baking like a cup of jelly In an oartb aimke. "Wbat In tha world" snorted Blra on, ripping a puling off tlx fence In tbe exccwilveiius of bla hilarity "what In (be world, deacon, are you dolu' up In Mls Cullen' apple tree?" "Now. UroHier YaU." mulled tba deacon oberty, bla wrinkled forvboud ooztug Ire water and bla rlglrt band grabbing desperately at a nulgbborlng limb. "I Just rlumb mi here to ace Ml t'ullcu'a tree bad survived tbe winter, and (be dog"- Put til moon In terrupted. "Wbo'd V thought,' be mused aloud, pulling out bla handkerchief and dry. Ing bla fyo-"wbo'd 'a thought Mlaa Cullen a hull terrier would hare devel ped Into a bird dog? Hut If be haan't got a partrldue troed thU blessed mln ate Ml-l'll"- lie nearly pulled the fence up by tbe root. Tbe deacon' Ire kindled, "That 'a rlgbtf be roared. "Stand there like a grlmdn' old bjren and Innght Didn't you ever ait" a mu In a tree before? iXin't- you know when you behold fellr rrlttor In dtatrew? Why don't you climb over tbe fence and drive way that fool doicl D'ye, want to cie killed right before your very eyear lX'liut It Isn't my dog," Uttered Bits aou. "Jt'a Mia Cullen', and It'a In Mlaa Cullen'e- own lot" "I tell you I can't bang on much longer," whined tbe deacon. "I've been here for an hour. I've got blister all over me." "Well." replied Hlraeon, "reckon I'd tetter go and tetl Ml Culleu"- "Not Don't you do It!" yelled the deacon; blushing acarlet, "Don't ye dare do 111 1 don't want you to tell tier. I don't want ber to know." aimeon ripped another paling off tbe fence, Ilia eyea were dancing aa If tbey were tickled to deatb. "Why don't yo drop ou tbe dog'a back and crack bla splner be auggeat ed "Why don't yo glare at him wltb buruln' Indignation and acorrh bla bide oirr "You're an luaultln' old wretch, cried tbe deacon angrily, "a jlblierlu ldjlt that don't know no better than to land there and Inugb the palln'a off of a poor, lono womon'a fcn e!" lie turned to abuke his flit, but lost bla balance and fell. DcMnerately be clutched at a limb and pulled himself up again out of the very teetb of tbe growling terrier. Then he glanced vin dictively toward Simeon, hut Simeon won moving away. "Hey, Brother Yates!" he yelled de- i.mm Simeon calmly, "Mebbv If w had tbe hook and ladder truck". "Nor' ejaculated tbe deacon. "For goodtioKH' anke, plenae df n't do tbatl I don't want everybody In town to know. I want to keep It quiet. Tbey Wouldn't understand." "Well, then." declared Simoon doubt fully, "there be ofily one more hope for yo, Brother Partrldge-lf you bud n balloon," "0 Lord!" moaned the. deacon. "Cnu't va nulf iKHn' tha tA flr,l..r Vale 7 '' Can't ye euggost ometblii' reasonable?' ; ' Hxasneratod beyond endurance. Par tridge shook bla flat at Simeon. Crack! Itougli. deacon. Prince Albert and nlun bat struck tbe ground In a confused heap. There waa a terrified acrambllnar. a muffled growl. Then aoroetbing long and lank, wltb flowing hair and nro- trudlng eyea, dashed atralgbt for Uncle J Bimeon, urasni A aection of tbe u Ing feuce gave way, and un tbe atreet tbe deacon daabed, pale of countenance, bare of bead. Mlaa Cullen'a bull terrier dinging grimly to bla coatUII and flap- U fill l I "'r I froon, pooh, foohI" n Tvrrxa. ping from aide to aide like a disabled rudder. "Go It. deacon! Go It do-!" veiled Uncle Bimeon. jumping on and down aud awlnglug bla old felt bat. "Go It Wurne ye. go it!" Uncle Bimeon leaned against tbe rem nant of tbo fence and shook It till It aquenked. He held bla two pudgy bands against bis ample aide and rolled hut eyea la misery. "Won't sotnelKxlr nleaie come and make mo atop laugblnT be yelled. "If they don't I'm goln' to die. Tbe dea- con-the dog! I'll blow up and bust I can't never live Iouk enough to ot through laughlu. They'll have to post pone my funeral till I atop laugblu'. I never knowed anybody could move their legs as fast aa the deacon did. II-hehe!" Ilia strength enve out thing to Ml;; Tbe feather bed was moved convulsively. , "Well, Miss Cullen," began Bimeon, "I've always thought tbat If I bad wife I'd treat her like wife ought to be treated," ..-' ' Mlaa Cullen coughed softly and drop ped her eyea. "Mr. Yates ahe asked prooently, glancing" at blm baobfully, "why don't yoo get married V "If I thought I could -at the right una or a woman," Simeon stammered, woman like you, now"- The bed and mattress fairly rose In tbe air. Simeon turned bla bead and coughed violently. "Oh. Mr. Yates." broke in Miia Cul len, Dimming becomingly, "If I thought tbat you would have tbat I would make you good wife"- She dropped ber aparkllng eyea groundward. Tbe feather bed shook wltb renewed en rgy. "But I thought you said tbat you and too deacon"- began Simeon. "Oh, nol" Mlaa Cullen, Interrupted. "I only meant that tbe deacon wanted to marry me. Why, Mr. Yates, you've SCLlde bow tha$ perstotln old bypo- ini Dae peeierei me. xne oeaumg experienced tudden frrlflc upheaval Bimeon acted aa if be were going to xplode. "Why, If I bad let blm 1 honeatiy believe be would have got down on bla kueea. I know I ain't aa yonng as I once "was. but I reckon 1 know i man when I aee one. Now, you. Simeon"- Again she glanced at blm ahyly. "WelL then," aald Simeon, his eves I twinkling, "if I ahould ask you to mar ; ry me would you promise to" , "0-h, Simeon!" blushed Mlaa Cnllen aoftly. "1-I-yca, I believe I would, i Simeon." j "Would you promUe,H continued Sim .eon. pinching himself to keep from , laughing aloud when be eaw aometblng , under tbe feather bed behaving scan- dalouly-"would you promise to alck , your dog on that old ldjlt of a Dea . con Partridge if ho hangs around here any more?' ro sooner bad be uttered those word than from tbe midst of that pile or Household necessities there came tbe Tlaible Indication of a terrific storm, followed by tbe subdued but unmistakable sound of ripping ciotb, and tbe next second feather bed, mat ,' troaa and deacon arose In concert, and , there, In tbe astonished presence of Mlaa Co lien, stood Partridge, bla anna and lega tangled In tbe environment of blue striped ticking and bla bead nd aboulders covered with a speckled coating of downy feather. Feathera protruded from bla eyea; feather vi brated on tbe end of bis nose; feath er waved majestically from tbe tips of bla ears. He couldn't aee or bear or peak for feather. He could scarce ly breathe for feather. "Pooh. pooh, pooh!" be puffed, blow Ing great bunches , of feather from ni niOUta. "Ahchoot Ahcha-nn!" ha and he aank. a gurgling heap, upon the mo.ul. "ABcttool Abcbe-oo!" be sidewalk. u?fu. x ne rear were running down When finally be arose the dog waa ,at?' mD .l"e bUc tb0 crawling under the fence, a rawed "w piece of black cloth In bla jaw. At ' c,eB, !f ""f ,0,l,er fwt press- Igbt of It Simeon wa thrown Into an- .t!f ,tT?blto txauAa to her ye other aposm of mirth, from which he ""If ,,,,, ,M , ... "VY!1 trull t" an 1,1 QlmnAn mmAt haa not entirely .nK-overed when be .. " u.u8 reached Miss Cullen' door. REPORT OF THE CONDITION - V OF THE Astoria Natl Bank At Atoria, in th State of Oregon, at the close of business, July 15, 1908: RESOURCE M Loans and dincountj... ., ..$437,627.22 Overdraft, secured and un secured . $fi7 (Vi U. S, Bond to -secure cir culation . 47,500.00 u. a, Honds to secure U.S. Deposits . ,. 20,000.00 Other Bond to secure U. S. deposits 34,000.00 Premiums on U. S. Bond. 3.045.CK) uon.ls, securities, etc.,...,. 52,888.21 Banking housed furniture. and fixtures .'. 4,030.00 Utncr real estate owned... 8 21141 Due from National Banks (not reserve agents) 2,504,77 Due from Mate Banks and Bankers . :. 4 000 47 Uue from approved reserve agents 129,700.61 Checks and other : cash items 2,098.11 Notes of other National Banks , 1,900.00 Fractional paper currency. nickels, and cents.. j 345.02 uawiui money reserve n bank, viz: Sneei . 7f, Vi7 7 Legal-tender notes 1.Z2U.00 77J27.75 Keaemption tuna with U. 5. treasurer (5 tr eenf of circulation) . ,,( 2,375.00 Total , $835,532.63 LIARIT.TTIFC . Capital stock paid in $ 50.000 00 Surplus fund 50,000.00 Lndivided profits, less ex- penses and taxes paid... 17,508.47 National Bank rmli- nut. standinir 41.6f)0.00 j , , . inaivmuai aeposits subject to check $322.0fio n2 Demand certificates of de posit j .........$46,945.46 Time certificates of de posit . .......$257270.33 Certified checks. 141.75 U. S. deposits... 50,000.00 676,424.16 Total $835,532.63 State of Oregon, County of Clat sod. ss.: , I, J. E. Higginsr Cashier of the above-named bank, do solemnly swear that the above statement is true to the best of my knowledge and belief. . Cashier. Subscribed and sworn to before me this 20th day of July, 1908. E. Z. FERGUSON. Notary Public. Correct Attest: GEORGE W. WARREN, GEO. H. GEORGE, A. SCHERNECKAU. Directors. fSQuATTED UKSI A HALF FED TVBXIT vpalrlngly, 'Oome back, please come icack. Brother Totes " "I alnt tiaod 1o beln' addressed In uch endearltJ' terniH, deacon,',' replied Simeon, "and .1 thought mebby my room was better than my company." "No, no," vociferated the deacon anx iously, "i didn't mean what I said. I "Was hasty. I am sorrv. Brother Yates. Please. don't go away and leave'me in anurireer, , ,. , Simeon rested bla arms on ton of tha irdekets and gazed at blra In pensive sympathy.-. "Well, Brother partridge," he replied solemnly, "if I can be any comfort to ye in your last momenta I allow It's my Christian 4uty to. re main. " , ,. . . . '. . "If you're goiu' to do anvthiMr." gasped the other, exasperated by Sime on s deliberate slowness, "for God's eako do It quick! This limb 1 crack in'."'.' , v "'. ' I "I mlsbt tuxn tn a fire, alarm." ua- hlm with overmastering hilarity. "Well, well, this la the Bret time I ever ee a partridge runnin around half picked. Say, why don't you go out be hind tbe barn and Binge yourself r 1 The deacon could not speak. He could not do anything' but open and but hi mouth like a chicken with the gape and go "Cut cut, cutP' ! "Why, be think he's an old settln' hen!" exclaimed Simeon, eying him wonderingly. "Shouldn't wonder but hft'll h B-nprntfMn' tin vnnr n.h, kn. giggled Simeon, "if next' Ml8S Cxinm- &y,n he added to g I believe you'll ae- the Perspiring deacon, "why don't you . . . . .... flv n n in n tron ami mi tn mnat iwfi , - ----- -- - p- v "I-I didn't come here to be laughed at" whimpered Partridge, extricating himself from the ticking and nearly crying with indignation. "I came here to call on Miss Cullen." $ "LIubr replied Simeon, pressing 'his hands against his quivering sides and regarding the other with austerity. "Huh. d'ye reckon Mlsa Cullen hasn't anything to do but to entertain oyster- riches? Wbydon'tyoururiawavBome- IIIh knock was answered by tbe lady la ntTHon. She waa of uncertain aire. Inclined to be angular and decidedly deaf. "Good afternoon, Mlsa Cullen!" shout ed Simeon. "I waa wonderln' have you seen Deacon Partridge today, mumf Mis Cullen' brow darkened. "No, I haven't," ahe snld. "ne promised to belp me beat a carpet, but be hasn't come "Well, mum." you'll call your dog cure circumstantial evidence of the deacon's irood Intentions.' But Miss Cnllen's deafness prevented her catching tbe drift of the. remark "Anyway," she replied, aggrieved, "it seems to me that If a man won t keep bis promise to a woman before he mar rlos her he won t do It afterward. "That's so. mum." answered Simeon "But If you'll let me help you I'll be Kind to do It I've Just sot to beat a enrpej or somethln' to keep my mind riche8 Why don'tyourunawayBome onnfinrmnusprintTn' nbllltlea or I'll wherea and stick your head In the . .... . .. .. .snnrl?" oe a pujsicai wreeK. -iww, i ? "Then come rlghtlri. Mr. Yfltes, ahe I "J teJUru 1 ttln' to stand here snld, bonmlng smilingly upon him. "I and 1)0 ln8UlteJ by no squatty old hip- apprecinte your kindness very much." I pypoUmouse!;' shrilled the deacon an "IWt mention it, mtiffl," gtirgled , trTSL-.2SS Simeon.' "Now, if you'll Just show Ttuther be bipiiypotamouse than to me ; " ;vuri ncujui, nuappea oimeon. "Well, first." she said. trnBinir Into hln ' you're o blame bhive. whv don't ........ .1 ...... .. . , .... ,. , irtJii KdmI Ariit'ii , a ej oiiwjuumufiy, -uiere s a learner jvur niuga una crowr vny REPORT OF THE CONDITION OF THE First National Bank Of Astoria, at Astoria, in tho Stat of Oregon, at the close of business, juiy 13, iwo: RESOURCES. Loans and discounts $409,577.18 Overdrafts, secured and un secured . 2,646.64 U. S. Bonds to secure cir culation . 47,000.00 Premiums on U. S. Bonds 1,400.00 Bonds, securities, etc 55,430.00 Uue from national banks (not reserve agents)..... 71,146.56 Due from State Banks and Bankers t 21,071.73 Due from approved reserve agents 179,139 items . . 1,477.27 Notes of other National Banks 5.265.00 Nickels and cents 671.85 Lawful money reserve in bank, viz: Snerii . ......... $190,500.00 Legai-tenaer notes ju.uu iyu,ou.w Redemption fund with U. S. 1 reasurer, (5 per cent Circulation . ,, 2.350.00 bed upstairs, if you'll throw It out the winder rof hie." Un the 8htt WAiit Rlmpon huf whnn he reached tber fotr he heard some one knocklni on the front door. Olonclnir out the window, he saw Deacon Par tridge on the stoop below gazing un easily about and acting: more nervous than otherwise. Catching up the feather bed', Simeon pushed It throueh the onenTnflf and chuckled, to himself as he sow ft fall sqnurely upon tbe deacon's head- and bear .him to the ground. In another Instant a benvy mattress had follow ed It. , "Now," Miss Cullen." observed Sime on when he had goue downstairs attain aud opened the door, "If you'll come aud sit on the stoop and rest. mum. I'll,"- He noticed wjth satisfaction don't toy let folka know thnt vnn'ra n Shanghai that' hot afeard of anything in the barnyard even if your plnfeath ers ain't all grown otitT" "I'm a man of peace; Brother Yates," replied Partridge meetly. "I'm an elder in the church, and' ! don't want to get mad, and I don' want to swear" i "May bo that you're turnin'' to an an gel," retorted Simeon doubtfully, "but you look to me more like a domlnl'cker that's too thin to bile and too totih to1 fry. . Anyway, you ought to know tW Miss Culleu's front yard ain't no'p'Wce for a poultry show." "Got as much right here as you haVe, yotf old b'lled lobster!" screamed tbe deacon wratbfully. "Ain't I, Miss Cul len?"' ' - t 1- "Well, really, Mr. Partridee." snick Total . . $988,046.03 LIABILITIES. Capital stocl paid in $100,000.00 Surplus fund 25,000.00 unaiviaea prorits, less ex penses and taxes oaid... yatiofl?! Bank notes out- IndivWal deposits subject to che'fk ;...fOJ47:J. Demand certificates .of de-' nneit S159.726.84 Certified checks.. $800.00 795,250.56 20,795.47 47,000.00 Total .988,046.03 in, in- imui-uu wjiu : sausiacuon , . ' V1 v annuge, SU1CK- thut something wnn wriggling desper- e Miss Cullen,. looking happily at nlohi mi, !i. tlx, f,i,i(lw,c Rlmpftrt'. "nnw thnt fn that- C!ln. ately under the feathers, "Oh. you !we so considerate. Mr. Yates," chirruped Miss Cullen. follow ing blm out of doors. "Some men are so thoughtless of others': comfort. Now. do you know," she added, settlnir herself on a step with her back toward the bedclothes, "I believe tbat tho deacon Wouldn't, care how hard bis wife worked Just " so he had good clothes to wear and .nJontv nf nira Simeon; "now that Mr.-that Simeon and me are enguged-of course"- "You see, Brother Partridge," ex clahned Simeon, "the Indy has decided that she isn't hankerln' to marry any body that has a mania for breakln' limbs off of trees, smashln' down fences and rlppln' open feather beds. Besides, there's the dog." Partridge glanced around uneasily. "You know, deacon, when a 'dog once gets a taste of a State of Oregon, County $ Clat sop, ss.: . '''''. I. S. Gordrtn. Cashier of lire above-named bank, do solemnly swear that tli above statement is true to the best of my knowledge and belief. S. S. GORDON. Cashier. Subscribed and sworn to hefore me ttiis- 18th day of July, 1908. V. BOELLING, Notary Public. Corr'ectAttest: C. C. FLAVEL, W. f. McGregor. . J. WESLEY LADD, Directors. bbne"- . ; ; : "f certainly ekteii(f my congratula tions," sneered the deacon. Bcowllwt at Simeon, "'and I hope- I haven't In truded." j "Don't mention It; Brdthef Partridge," Simeon grinned. "But, rioW, if you'll step into tbe house and let' us finish plckln' you. Feathers Is feathers these days, deacon, and we can't be overpar ticular what, kind of a'bird'they come off of." FAT FOLKS ONE D O L LA R .nvestcd in a bottle of theie wonder M, harmless fat reducing tablet aa4 jrvu win oo . normal, weu-iormed penon again. Don't ' carry round your ugly bulk, your uncrain lv aunerflnm fl..k i i- miserable, ridiculous and what it mor Important, it subjects you to fatal :onsequences. Sudden death from U ttv De y rjouble, Apoplexy and Mmular Rheumatism all come from OVER, r A i NESS. 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