THE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON.
TUESDAY JUNE. 16, 1903
SHE'S A QUEEN
SHE'S A SIREN
Is in expression that always heard at sight of a well
developed woman. If you are flat chested, with BUST
undeveloped, a scrawny neck, thin, lean arms the
above remark will never be applied to you. "SIREN
wafers will make you beautiful, bewitching. They DE
VELOP THE BUST in a few weeks from 3 to 6 Inches
and produce a fine firm, voluptuous bosom. They fill
out the hollow places. Make the arms handsome and
well modeled and the neck and shoulders shapely and
of perfect contour.
Send for a bottle oday and you'll be pleased and grate
ful "SIREN" wafers are absolutely harmless, pleasent to take and con
venient to carry around. They are ?o!d under guarantee to do all w
claim or MONEY back.
Price $1.00 per bottle. Inquire at good drug stores or send DIRECT
to us.
rnrr During the next 30 days only we will send you a sample
iKLL&ottle of these beautifying wafers on receipt of 10 cents U
- pay cost of packing and portage if .you will mention that jroa
saw the Advertisement in this paper. The sample alone may be sufficient
if defects are trivial.
Desk 22 ESTHETIC CHEMICAL C O.,
31 West 125th St New York.
I To the First 500 Children
Bringing this uAd." and opening an account, we will
deposit the first 50 cents, conditional that the child
deposit 50 cents at time of opening account and one
dollar per month for eleven months. The account
will then be worth $12.00 besides 5 per cent, interest
and is subject to withdrawal according to State law.
Remember your account is secured by real estate.
Children under fourteen eligible.
THE BANKING SAVINGS AND LOAN ASS'C'N.
168 10th St. Phone Black 2184
PRACTICAL POINTS
PRACTICAL POINTS
On Banking No. 5
Important to the business men:
Having an account with this bank
guarantees the security for your funds
assures prompt, satisfactory service
and the most courteous treatment
You will find an account with the
Scandinavian-American Savings Bank
a valuable asset to you.'
SCANDINAVIAN-AMERICAN sayings.bank.
506-508 Commercial St, Astoria, Ore. ,
k
1ST
UK
ASTRA
Mm,
DIRECTORS
Jacob Kamm W.F. McGregor G. C. Flavel
J. W. Ladd S. S. Gordon
Capital....... $100,000
Surplus 25,000
Stockholders' Liability......... 100,000
ESTABLISHED 188tt.
J. Q. A. BOWLBY, President
O. I. PETERSON, Vice-President
FRANK PATTON, Cashier
J. W. GARNER, Assistant Cashier
Astoria Savings Bank
Capital Paid in $115,000. Surpl us and Undivided Profits, $100,000
Transacts a General Banking Business Interest Paid on Time Deposits
FOUR PER CENT PER ANNUM.
Eleventh and Duane Sts. Astoria, Oregon.
" HiS PROOF.
It Satisfied the Conductor, and There
Was No Further Trouble,
"Fare, plense." V
"I paid my fare."
"If you paid your fare, I wouldn't be
hero asking you for It."
"Oh, you're- one of those bright con
ductor who never make a mistake,
ch?"
"I'm bright enough to know you're
trying to bout tho compnuy."
"Yes?"'
"That's what I said."
"You run right along uow. I want to
flulsh this story In tho paper about tho
fight."
"What fight la thatr
"Why, n fwsu conductor thought
he'd bulldoze a passenger out of a sec
ond fare, and ho got on awful thrash
ing."
"You can't bluff me."
"That's what tho passenger said as
he handed out an upiH.'rcut.
"Then you won't pay, ehT
"Not a second fare."
"Say, when did you get on this ear,
anyway?"
"About a week ago, It seems to mo.
I got on at Hoverly street"
"Oh, you dldl Maybe you can men
tion a few things that happened to
show you got on away back there?"
"Sure thing. At Blank street four
people got on, and you only rang up
three fares. At James place you took
a quarter from a woman and bluffed
her out of tho change. At Nelson ave
nue you collected six fares, nut uie
company will only get three. At Lan-
ly street you"
But at this Juncture the conductor
seemed to have very Important busi
ness ou the back of the car. At any
rate, he hurried back there, and for
the next tweuty minutes ho was as fl ni
trated as nn old maid about to make a
leap year proposal. A. B. Lewis Id
Judge.
Regular Feud. .
"Yes," sighed tho suburban man,
who had just moved In, "at the last
place I had the prettiest row of tulips
that ever bloomed uutll my neighbor's
chickens scratched thera up."
Aud did you kick?" asked his new
acquaintance.
"You bet! I got a big tomcat to lay
for his chickens."
"What then?"
"Why, the next I knew he had
bought a ferocious bulldog to lay for
my Tom."
"H'ml And did that end the trou
ble?
"Oh, no. I borrowed a wolf from
an animal trainer to kill the bulldog.'
"War to the knife, eh? What was
the next chapter In the bitter feud?"
"There was none. I heard that he
was about to purchase a tiger to kill
my wolf, and as I couldn't afford the
price of an elephant to kill his tiger I
thought It best to move." Chicago
News.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
HELP WANTED
WANTED A
the printing
Astorian office.
BOY TO LEARN
business. Enquire at
GIRL WANTED-A GOOD GIRL
for general housework. Inquire ill
Mrs. R. B, Dyer, 493 Fifteenth st 9-tf
WANTED GOOD MAN IN EVERY
locality; good pay; experience un
necessary to represent large real
estate organization, write today. R. F,
Loos Co., Des Moines, Iowa.
roa sale. '
FOR SALE-20 AUTOMATIC
nickel in the slot weighing scales, 1
electric nickel in the slot piano,' set
up ana in operation in diiteren sa
loons in the city; price $200 cash; will
bring in over $100 a month. Address
B.,M Astorian. ' 6-4-tf.
FOR SALE-NEW PAIR PAINT-
er's falls for sale cheap. Apply W,
II. Corbcil, Seaside, Oregon. 6-11-ot.
PROFESSIONAL CARDi.
ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW
CHARLES II. ABERCROMBIE
Attorney-at-Law
City Attorney . Offices: City Hall
JOHN C McCUE
Attcrney-at-Law
Deputy District Attorney,
Page Building, Suite 4.
HOWARD M. BROWNELL
Attorney-at-Law
Office with Mr. J. A. Eakin, a:
Commercat St., Astoria.
420
"OSTEOTATHr
DR. RHODA C. HICKS
Osteopath
Office Mansell Bldg. Phone Black 2065
573 Commercial St. Astoria. Ore.
FIRST-CLASS DENSMORK f YPE
writer, at half price; also light driv
ing team, buggy and harness; to
gether or separately. C. E. Barney,
with Warren Packing Co., Astoria.
TEAM FOR SALE.
TEAM OF HEAVY DRAFT
horses, grey, weight 1300 pounds
each. For price and particulars in
quire of the Uwaco Livery Stable.
6-ll-6t.
MISCELLANEOUS.
YOUNG MAN WHO HAS LEARN-
ed bookkeeping and stenography,
desires position in a store or office to
work up; speaks Norwegian and
Swedish. Apply 'G.," Astorian. 6-12 tf.
agsMf
DENTISTS
mcvATGHiir
Dentist
Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon
DR. W. C LOGAN
Dentist
Commercial St Shanahan Bldg.
UNDIRTAIIS3.
J. A. UILHAUUU CO.,
Undertaker ami Kiutmliuori.
I2strleiicfiri4Mly Assist unt
Wlion lstircd.
Call Promptly Attended Pay
or Night.
Trttton B&g. 12th mid Dunne) 8U
ASTORIA. OUE.UON
Phone Alain Ulil
TRANSPORTATION.
The" KM Un
FREIOHT
PASSENOERS
BUSINESS DIRECTORY
RESTAURANTS.
Orposite Ross, Higgini & Co.
CoCfee with Pie or Cake 10 Cta.
FIRST-CLASS HEALS
Regular Meals IS Cts, and Up,
WANTED-SMALL FURNISHED
house centrally located or rooms
for light housekeeping with modern
conveniences, i.; Astorian. 0-1U-M
WANTED-TO BUY A HORSE
weight about 1250 pounds; not over
8 years old; must be good driver and
gentle, also city broke. Address As
torian office. 6-9-tf,
FOR SALEREAL ESTATE.
"A Heavy Plunger.
FOR SALE-LOCKSLEY HALL
Hotel, Seaside, Or.; this beautifu
spot under the pines and overlooking
the ocean is for sale; best money
making property in the West; over
100 rooms; modern in every way,
For particulars apply to Mrs. L. A.
Carlisle on premises.
fOR SUIT.
FOR RENT A LARGE SUNNY
front room, bath, phone, electric
light and gas. Address 430 Exchange
street, cor. Tenth. 6-6-6t.
HOUSE MOVERS.
FREDR1CKSON BROS.-We make
a specialty of house moving, car
penters, contractors, general jobbing;
prompt attention to all orders. Cor
ner Tenth and Duane streets.
Fisher Brothers Company
SOLE AGENTS
Barbour and Finlayson Salmon Twins and Netting
McCormick Harvesting Machines
Oliver Chilled Ploughs
Malthoid Roofing
Sharpies Cream Separators
Raecolith Flooring Stotfett's Tools
1 Hardware, Groceries, Ship
Chandlery
Priscilla Explains.
"Did you break this vase, Priscilla?"
"It would be somewhat at variance
with the truth, madam, to personally
assume tbe fracture. The vase slipped
from my fingers. It was the abrupt
collision with the floor that caused Its
disintegration."
And of course when you have a Bos
ton girl In tho kitchen an explanation
like that has to go. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
VETERINARY COLLEGE.
SAN FRANCISCO VETERINARY
College; next session begins Sept
15th. Dr. C. Keane, Pres., 1818 Mar
ket street. Catalogue free.
PASTURAGE.
GOOD PASTURAGE FOR RENT,
$2.50 per month; horses called for.
Inquire A. E. Kinney, Lewis and
Clark. 6-9-6t
MISCELLANEOUS.
Tan
Tar,
Bark, Blue Stone, Muriatic Acid, Welch Coal,
Ash Oars, Oak Lumber, Pipe and Fittings, Brass
Goods, Paints, Oils and Glass
Fisheicen's Pure Manilla Rope, Cotton Twine and Seine Web
We Want Your Trade
FISHER BROS.
BOND STREET
STEEL & EWART
Electrical Contractors
PhonelMain 3881 . ... 426 Bond Street
Literal Interpretation.
"So you don't believe In the atory of
Jonah and the whale?"
"No," answered Mr. Meekton thoughtfully.
"How do you suppose It originated?"
, "Well, I suppose Jonah had been
away from home for some time and
had to tell his wife something."
Washington Star.
Refined Torture.
,"LI1, you just ought to have heard
how Miss Capsicum talked thb other
day when she was real mad. You don't
know what you missed."
"What did one say, Jen?"
"Gracious! You don't expect me to
say tho dreadful things she said, do
you?" Chicago Tribune.
Smith's Special
Delivery
EXPRESS AND BAGGAGE
Leave Orders at Star Cigar Store.
Phone Black 2383
Res, Phone Red 2278.
Stand Corner 11th and Commercial.
WINES AND LIQUORS.
Old Home Innocence.
Mrs. Hardapple Gracious, Hiram, 1
hope the people around here won't send
Zeke to the legislature any more.
Mr, Hardapple Why not, Mandy?
Mrs. Hardapple - Why, he writes
home that be killed three 'bills In two
days. , Suppose It should leak out?
Heuston Tost
, Morning Astorian, 60 cents per
month, delivered by carrier. Full As
sociated Press reports and local news.
Eagle Concert Hall
(320 Astor Street)
Rooms for rent by the day, week, or
month. Best rates in town.
P. A. PETERSON, Prop,
" DAIRIES."
TheVcrrnont Dairy
I am prepared to furnish pure milk
and cream. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Phone 14 Farmers line.
W. J. INGALLS.
TJ. 8. RESTAURANT.
434 Bond Street
Coffee with Pie or Cake, 10 Cta,
First-Class Meals, IS Cta,
FISH MARKET.
Seattle
Fs
II
m
77 Ninth St., near Bond
Fresh and Salted Fish.
Game and Poultry,
Groceries, Produce and Frui
Imported and Domestic
Goods.
P. Bakotitch & Feo, Proprs.
Pkocs Red tin
Dr. Reed's Cush
ion Sole Shoes are
Death on
Corns
Easiest thing you ever put on your
feet. Sold by
S. A GIMRE
Agents for the Douglas Shoe
543 Bond St., op. Ross, Higgins & Co.
HOT OR COLD
olden West
Just Right
CLOSSET & DEVERS,
PORTLAND, ORE.
Steamer - Lurline
Night Boat for Portland and
Wtjr Landings.
Leaves Astoria dally except Sunday
at 7 p. m.
Leaves Portland Daily except Sanaa?
at 7 a. m.
Quirk Service Excellent Iftalt
Oood Berths
Landing Astoria Flavel Whart
Landing Portland Foot Taylor St
J. J. DAY, Agent
Phone Mala 2761.
MEDICAL.
UnprseeueaUJ
8ueost of
DR. i 6E 10
TBI CHAT
Chinese doctoi
Who Is known
k l a. a. I vv i.
OJMu Tuuguoni me united
Vt- BtaUs on account of
31 wonderful cum.
No poisoaa or drags usee He futraa
Ue to cur catarrh, asthma, lung aad
throat trouble, rheumatism, nerrouattaa,
stomach, Urer aad kidney, emale con.
plaints and all ohronio dlMasee.
SUCCESSFUL HOVE TREATMUTT.
If you cannot call write for srmittm
blank and circular, inclosing 4 eeata Is
stamps.
THE C CIS WO MXDIOId CO.
112) First 8t, Corner Morrison.
POKTLAlfD, OREGON. i
Please mention th Asteriaa.
LAUNDRIES.
Those Pleated Bosom Shirtt
The kind known by dressy men in
the summer, are difficult article. t
launder nicely. Unless you know just
how to do it, the front pleats won't
iron down smooth, and the shirt
front will look mussy, Our New
Press Ironcr irons them without
rolling or stretching. Try it
TROY LAUNDRY,
Tenth and Duane. Phone Main imi
PLUMBERS.
. A,
PLUMBER
Will
I
Heating Contractor, Tinner
AND t
Sheet Iron Worker
ALL WORK GUARANTEED
425 Bond Street
E. C. YOUNCE
AND
W. F. BAKER
PLUMBERS
U S T A RRIVE 1
Gold Fish
25c and 35c Each
Hildebrand & Gor
Old Bee Hive Bldg.
Tinners, Steam and
All Work Guaranteed.
Street, opp. Post Office.
4061.
Gas Fitting '
126 Eighth
Phone Main
, MENANDWOMEU
ILUKX 1 u,,, Bif fnruntmturtl
1 UM.n.1 dlHohftmul.infliiniinatinn
Ou.n.u.d U Irrltklliin. nr liiuflr&rlima
HOI t ttrtolDK. tt tt.il Anna .mhr....
PrartBti CsHUrloa. D.I..1... ,. -.
ITHEEHNSCHEMIMLCO. ioTioT.'.mou,.
l CINCINHTI,0.r 1 Mold bf Driwllt,
It a . i -t..i .
. j v. mil iu imbiii . i nuirar.
J bf oiprom, propald, (or
yf ti SI. 00. cirhottli'i2.7S.
Circular leut ou rwiuesi.