SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 22, IMS.
rJEHE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA; OREGON,
It I 1 it
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SIX FREE
Lectures
On the Laws of Life
as Related to Han
From His Creation
BY MRS. 0. S.
FOWLER
RED HEADED MEN
Arizona's Editor Wants to Know
All Abut Them.
SENDS OUT A CIRCULAR
Widow of l'rof. 0. S. Fowler, the
world-renowned phrenologist, author
ml lecturer, ol New York City at
Astoria Theatre, beginning Tuesday,
February 25th, 8 p ,ni., to all; Wed
Hday, February 26, 2:30, to ladiei
only; Wednesday, February 26, 8
m, gentlemen only; Thursday, Feb
nmry 27, 8 p. m., to all; Friday, Feb
ruary 29, 8 p, m., to all; Sunday,
March 1, 2:30 p. m., to all. New tub
Ject every time. It will be announced
in this paper later.
Phrenological examination! and
health consultation given at the Oc
cident Hotel from 9 a. m. to 9 p, m.
until March 11th. A new system of
Belying electricity to cure oiscase
ill be taught in classes, beginning
Tuesday. March 3rd, at 2:30 p. m.
nd 7:30 p. m.
Mri. Fowler comes with national
reputation as lecturer, phrenologist
nd electrician. Her new mod of
using electricity hat no equal in the
world.
The Old. Reliable
Painless
Chicago
Dentists
Cor. Commercial arid Eleventh Sta.
ASTORIA, ORE.
Phone 3901
Headquartera
PORTLAND, ORB.
Art equipped to do all klnda of
Dental work at very lowest prices.
Nervous people and those afflicted
with heart weakness may nave no
fear of the dental chair.
22 K. crown $100
Bridge work, per tooth 5.00
Gold filling! f 1.00 up
Silver fillings 50c to 11.00
Beat rubber plate 1800
Alumlnum-llne plat $10 to $15.00
. These offices art modern through
out Wo are able to do all work
absolutely painless. Our auccesa la
due to uniform high grade work by
gentlemanly operators having 10
to IS years experience. Vegetable
Vapor, patented and used only by
as for painlesa extraction of teeth,
50c A binding guarantee given
ith all work for 10 years. Exami
nation and consultation , FREE.
Lady in attendance. Eighteen of.
ficee in the United 8tates.
Cor. Commercial and Eleventh Sta.,
over Daniiger atore.
1 JUC
And tome Raey Replies te Hie Peril
nent Query Are Received In Return
The Opinion of the Hen, Qulney
Davis, DD. L D.
' iCoDjrricbV lttf.1
Tbree weeks ago we sont out a cir
cular from the Kicker office containing
ue following queries, and we bert-by
publish a number of tbe a us wore re
celved:
Dear Blr-Do you think that red hesdi-4
men have Iwon Instrumental In the up
building of ArlaonaT
Do you behove that more red headed
men snouid be etioourefed te settle In
urn lemturvT
Is there anions? your asnUJnUnna
red beaded m who has humped htmeelt
mors viaoroualy inan any other sort 7
If you believe that wllb 1.000 more red
neaoea men edited to her population Arl
son would euon take her place among
the sisterhood of states, bow shall we Sol
utem nerer
, I know three red headed men who
bare started three graveyards lu UiIh
territory and are still on tbe bustle,
It la toe red beada who keep things
moving. Wt can't bate too many of
thenwudge O. M. Clark.
Tour Queries at hand, and In an
far I would ask what about red bead
ed women J I don't believe we have
score of them In the terrltorr
bile red heeded man is shooting
aome poor cuss In tbe leg red beaded
woman can raise fuse extendlne- over
Mil tte territory. It has long been my
opinion that we should bring on at
least 000 from Connecticut, where they
are thicker than grasshoppers. If they
cant boost old Arlsona Into line, we
might as well quit trrlug.-Hon, Caleb
Johnson. ' '
Do I think red beaded men hsve been
Instruments! In the upbuilding of Art-
sona? You bet your bottom dollar 1
If It waan't for tbe red beada among oa
we'd aleep till noon and waste our Sun
days shooting at coyotes Instead of
playing poker. Get a thousand more
of 'em here as soon aa possible, and let
there be a law passed making It a pris
on offense for any one of them to nae
hair dye after hla aniyal.-Hon. James
Canon.' .
Is 1 am In Jail, charged with bone
stealing, my opinion may not count
but I wilt send It In .Just the aamo.
Keop tbe red beaded men out of the
lirHlrtTT Th kill ( .mlm.nt. aa
II fast aa they are brought In. There
f! Isn't a town In the territory with three
red beaded men In It but what baa
passed resolutions , to tbe effect that
doing more bumping than any twenty
baldbeada. Only the other day In the
course of two hours be shot mole, a
dog and all tbe Insulators off the tops
of the telephone poles for distance
of tbree miles. The Recorder wouldn't
have ten lines of local news per week
If It wasn't for our red bended man.
Yea, uring on more. There Is said to
be 200 of them in one community In
Itbode Island, and all are named
Green. Arizona 1s the cllmatoln wblcb
they can ripen. Blie can promise them
a mountain apiece. Lord, but what an
opening there la for usl-Lone Jsck
Recorder.
Aitnongn we bad a narrow escape
oursolf from training with the ml
besds and therefore have a fellow fool
ing for tliem, It la not on that account
that we would go In for bringing 0,000
into the territory at once. A red bead
ed man Is on tbe bump and bustle. lie
Is never quiet Tie Is alwsys plan
nlng. Something baa got to happen
every day In tbe week. If we bad
CHURCH SERVICES
Firat Methodist
The sermon themes for Sunday
will be as follows: Morning, "The
Spirit of the Age." In the evening,
"The Bow of Promise." At the mid
week service on Wednesday evening
the theme will be, "The Secret of
Strength." A chorus choir will load
the singing at all these services. The
services will all be made practical
and interesting. "Come thou with us
and wo will do thee good." Strangers
in the city will be cordially wcl
coined. Those not having a church
home elsewhere are invited to unite
with us. C. C, Rarick. minister.
Norwegian-Danish M. E.
t ; . S at a aa
services at u a. m. ana 7 wo p. m.
Sunday school at 10 a. m. Mr. Albert
Carlsen, superintendent Scandinav
7,000 or 8,000 with na, Arlsona would ian ar tCA-iWy invited: O. T. Field,
be one of the United States within n pastor.
year or on her way to that country of
asms ana brimstone. Promise 'cm
anything on oartb to get 'em here and
men lasso every man and tie him up
to something that will bold hlm.-I!luej
11111 Howler.
Astoria Theater---Saturday, Feb. 22
Arlsona would have sUll been an In
dian bunting icround bot for red bead-
oa mon. a. hat we want Is 10,000
more of them. Tbe editor of this pa-
pox le jMiniii.iniiy acquainted with noj
less than c".a red beaded men, and,
while they unven't made any of tbe
rivers run upstream, they have kept
the American eagle shrieking for tweu-ty-four
hours a day. What's the mat
ter with promising every one who will
settle bore n bucking broncho 1-Wolf
Creek Gazette.
Crest Men's Oslnlsit'" V
Jim HellMO wants to know what we
think of red headed men. What did
Caesar think of them T What did Alex
ander tbe Great aay of them? What
didNapoleon do with an army of
them? We have long known that the
crying need of this territory waa more
red beaded men, thousands more, bnt
we are a bumble and modest weekly
ecuior ana have kept atill about It
When we went back home to Indiana
last aummer, we aaw hundreds of the
right sort and we believe they could
be secured with very little trouble. In
fact, every Indiana farmer with red
beaded eon or daughter feels aa-ETleved
and wants to get them off bis hands.
Come on, ye red beads-come to the
only country on earth where tbe color
is appreclated.-Colouel John Sinclair.
Holy Innocents Chapel
Sexagcsima Sunday. Morning ser
vice, 10 a. m.; Sunday school, 11:15
a. m.; no evening service.
Chrietian Science.
Services at Odd Fellows' building,
Tenth and Commercial streets, rooms
5 and 6 M 10 a. m. Subject, "Mind."
All are invited Sunday school. 11:30.
Reading room, same address; hours
from 12 to 5, daily, except Sunday.
First Norwegian Ev. Luth.
Sunday school meets at 9:30 a. m.;
morning service at 10:45; evening ser
vice at 7:30. Theo. P. Neste. pastor.
Baptiat Church.
At 11 L m. the subject will be
'Christ's Increase; evening service at
7:30, theme, "Face Pictures of Je
hovah." Sunday school and B. Y,
P. U. meetings at regular hours. Con
rad L Owens, pastor.
' '
! r " f , ,
; -
j
i i .mini , n,i , 'f I ' ' g I' !. V I " '
First Lutheran.
There will be no services in the
First Lutheran Church owing to the
pastor being absent at the confer
ence, bunday school as usuaL The
Luther League Circle meets at 6:30
in the church parlors for devotional
exercises, u fc.. Kydquist. Dastor.
CANT BE SEPARATED.
Dancing
School
KEARNEY HALL.
Exchange Street
v Opposite Skating Rink,
BEGINNERS CLASS.
Monday Evening Feb. 17th.
Latest Quickest and Most Approved
5 , Methods Taught i ;
lllH
V
"x am n
i.More than two-thirds of your life
you wear shoes. Did you ever think
f that? -
Thc!Dr. A. Reed
Cushion Shoe
Waa built to give your feet comfort
two-thirds of your life; the rest you
aleep.
The W. L. Douglas
Has a world-wide reputation,
one and be np to date. '"' "
Wear
A.
543 BOND STREET.
Opposite Fisher Bros, i '
Best kins of logging shoes, ham
made, always on hand.
fait, CHARGED WITH HOBSS
aTIALUIO."
the United States ought to annex Can
ada, Mexico or some other blamed old
thing. They always want to be annex
Injf -something-, and when there Is noth
ing to annex they find fault with
tenderfoot'a coattalla aa an excuse for
sbootlug him. In fact it waa a red
headed son of a gun that worked me
In on this horse deal, and the red head
ed prosecuting attorney haa Just prom
ised that I shall get at least ten years
for It-Hon. Qulney Davis. DD.. L. D.
The Tribune baa no use for red head
ed men. "We have had three on the
staff, and all have been f atlurea. . We
believe that If thla territory la to ever
, become a state It will be after we have
encouraged four or five thousand bald-
heads to settle among us. The man
who baa no hair to attend to la the
chap who hnetlee. Grass Valley Trib
une. h t ,"' ' ; ' ('.: ' "
The Esgle For, Red Hesds.
The Eagle goes In for red beada, be
they men r women. We went all the
way to Vermont to marry a red beaded
girl, and aa a wife she takes the cake.
We leave the bouncing ail to her, and
in the last six weeks she has thrown
five different men out of the office and
broken the legs of three of them. When
she goes after a delinquent subscriber
she either brings 'tbe money or his
scalp back. !If ire had ten red headed
men In this town thore'd be a funeral
every day and real estate would be at
least 25 per, cent higher, Send to Mas
sachusetts and promise the crowd 100
acres of land apiece. Mountain, Eagle.
in answer to Jim Hellso'a circular
we want to tell him that there la a
ri heeded man In this town who Is1
Jim Ilellso ought to be kicked for
lesvlng the rci headed women out of
but circular. Catherine of Russia, Joan
of Arc, Queen Elizabeth, tbe mother
of Washington-why, we could string
tne ust out a rod long. It wss a red
besded girl wbo Bred the first shot
on the Meld of Lexington. It wss a
red hoaded dame wbo fired the last
shot at Bunker Hill. Who but a red
headed woman rang the old bell for
liberty? Uow many poets, atatesmen
and warriors owe their auccesa to red
headed wives? Get red heeded men
here get tbem In droves but don't
skip the red beaded females. Tslk to
tbem softly snd bring tbem along. If
Arlsona can be saved, tbey will do it
Big Cave Reporter.
Aa to that circular, Mr. Ilellso, we
want to aay: Hurrah for tbe red heads!
Get 'em bere by tbe million. Get the
long haired ones In particular. Get
Some Astoria People Have Learned
How to Get Rid of Both.
Backache and kidney ache are twin
brothers.
You can't separate them.
And you can't get rid of the back
ache until you cure the kidney ache.
If the kidneys are well and strong,
the rest of the system is pretty sure
to be in vigorous health.
Doan's Kidney Pills make strong,
healthy kidneys.
H. J. Young, of 2901 Morrison
street, Portland, Ore., says: "I have
had no occasion to use any kidney
medicine since 1903, and that is the
very reason why I can recommend
Doan's Kidney Pills so strongly.
This remedy relieved me at that time
39
CLAY CLEMEN Hf
AND A SELECT CAST OF PLAY ERS DIRECT FROM NEW YORK
PRESENTING
"The New
fi?.Yr A BEAUTIFUL COMEDY-DRAMA IN FOUR ACTS. -EJCLAY
CLEMENT IN HIS ORIGINAL CHARACTER
Baron HohenstauiTen
Prices $1.50 to 25c
two red headed women for every one of an annoying attack of kidney com-
red headed man. Get droves of red
beaded young uns and let them grow
up among us. Let every official of
the present government who Is not a
red beaded man resign and give place
to a bustler, rut them In official posi
tions In every town in tbe territory
ana give 'em room to get hold with
both feet Arlsona is on the wabble,
We have tried all else, and now let us
turn to tbe red beads. Let the rlcb
brick red color flaunt Itself from every
hilltop and be found In every valley
and let It be a crime equal to that of
murder for a barber to clip off any of
the capillary substance or for a drug
gist to be found with a bottle of hair
dye on his shelves. Red Rock Sun.
The editor of the Kicker thanks the
above persons aud papers for their ex
presslons ana stands ready to work
with any commission appointed to
bring about the red headed Influx. He
also returns thanks that none Of them
bare mentioned the fact that his owu
hair started out to be red, but faded
away to a .French pea color under the
hralu strain of making tbe Kicker tbe
leading weekly of the civilized world.
M. QUAD.
plaint which had clung to me for quite
a while, and had become aggravated
by a cold which settled in my back.
The relief was speedy and lasting,
and not the slightest trace of a recur
rence has appeared during the three
years that have elapsed. I am con
vinced that this is good procf of the
value of Doan's Kidney Pills."
For sale by all dealers. Price, 50
cents. Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo.
New York, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name Doan's and
take no other.
To Malle Yourself ,Lopl IfIit
AT THE MASQUERADE IT WILL BE NECESSARY FOR YOb
TO HAVE ONE OF OUR MASKS. WE HAVE A FULL LINE
OF COMICS, DOMINO, NOSE AND PAPER MASKS.
E. A. HIGGINS CO.
$MUSIC
BOOKS
STATIONERY
Simple Remedy For La Grippe
La grippe coughs are dangerous aa
they frequently develop into pneu
monia. Foley'a Honey and aTr not
only stops the cough but heala and
strengthens the lungs so that no ser
ious results need be . feared. The
genuine Foley's Honey and Tar con
tains no harmful drugs and is in s
yellow package. Refuse substitutes.
For sale by T. F. Laurin.
An Easy Way Out of Trouble.
"We 'simply can't go on as we have
been going,'' he declared. ."We , are
pending more than I'm making. You
surely must be ablo to understand that
such a state of affairs can't last long."
'Then.' dear," she soothingly replied,
why don't you make more r Chicago
Record-Herald,
How They Found Out 1
When tbe Lawtona hsd lived in Wll
low Park about a month they were In
vlted to a succession of little dinners
at the houses of their new neighbors.
Mr. Lawton was on a dyspeptic'a diet
and Mrs. Lawton was endeavoring to
reduce her weight "I suppose we shall
have to eat all sorts of things we don't
wish or else seem rude," said Mrs.
Lawton mournfully as they set out for
the first dinner.
To their growing surprise, tbe bills
of fare placed before tbem at each din
ner, although not remarkably varied,
were all composed of such dishes as
they could both enjoy.
"I don't see how you all hit on Just
the right things when Mr. Lawton and
I really are such difficult guests," said
Mrs. Lawton in a burst of confidence
one af ternoon when the neighbors were
taking tea with her.
The ladles looked at each other, and !
then one of tbem Spoke. '
"You know Mary Slonn, who comes
to wash for you Tuesday mornings!"
she said. "Well, I have her Mondays,
and Mrs. Green has her Wednesdays,
and she Irons for Mrs. Porter Thurs
days' And scrubs for Miss Homer Fri
days, so you see" , :
Her voice trailed off into silence, but
Mrs. Lawton no longer wondered. She
saw." ,, r , ' ,
Don't forget the Football Dance in
Logan's Hail tonight
Hill II I llll 1 1 IS I Httl Ml Milium 'sllH
Open and Ready !
FOR BUSINESS '
With a full line of spring and summer
goods. Imported and Domestic Wool
ens in all the latest patterns and effects.
I A. BCI-?IVIEIER
p The Up-to-date Tailor.
"A5.TBA-TW:,,I?J!?0--: I" " C0R IIth AND COMMERCIAL ST",
till III IW4HIMfMHMIIIIfH 1 1 1 1 1 II 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
rt HI tt 1 1 1 1 1 It 1 1 1 H t
i; THE LOUVRE GONGERT HALL i!
FIRST CLASS HQUOHS
AND CIGARS
3SEVEITTH AHD AST0R STREETS. ;-
KOOMS IN CONNECTION. VlC LlNDBECK, Prop, t
t II 1 1 1 1 1 1 UfHWtHttt II I II tit
! 1 1 M..as.. T T 1 1 1 1 H I a 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
I THE TRENTON I
First-Class Liquors and Cigars
i 602 Commercial Street
Corner Commercial and 14th. . ASTORIA, OREGON
HI Ml MM llll III I II 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
THE
GEM
C. F. WISE, Prop.
Choice Wine Liquors Merchants lunch From
and Cigar, 11:30 a. m. to 1:30 . m.
Hot Lnnch at All Hours, aj Cents
Corner Eleventh and Commercial
ASTORIA . . ... . .