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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (June 13, 1906)
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 13, igo4, 6 THE MOItNIXG ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. Pilgrim Joe Has a Rough Time of II He Strikes the Town of Get-Away. Quick and Is Injured to the Extent of $60. Copyright, 1906, by McClure, Phillips & Co.J AS I abided In tbe town of Last Chance for a few days whll L suffering tbe afilk-tlon of a car bunele on my neck I received letter from the mayor of tbe town ot Get-Away-Qulvk asking me to com rer there as soon as able and show my how of moving pictures and bring along a large stock of tbe Pilgrim Pain Alleviator. Tbe aforesaid alleviator hat now been before tbe public for many yean, and Its certain and raarveloui virtues are known to all, but I cannot let tbis opportunity pass without say ing that- It la a remedy for despondency. ' Two doses cure tbe earache. It acta like magic on disappointed kve. One bottle will assuage tbe deepest sorrow. If your wife has eloped the alleviator will make you glad of It. . It cures Ingrowing toe nails and pal pitation of the heart. Thousands of people who were stand Inf on tbe verge of the grave have beer. m 1UTOB CAME FORWARD TO 8HAK1 HAXD8 WITH MB. yanked back and come to weigh 200 pounds by Investing in a single bottle. Whenever and wherever you find a druggist selling my alleviator you need ask no further references. He Is re spectable and honest and can be trust ed with the Fourth of July contribu tions. . Tbe carbuncle having busted and a song of joy come back to my heart, I set oit for tbe town mentioned and after a long day's drive I reached tbe same. On tie way, and without any seeming cause for it, the song was bushed on my lips, my joyous soul clouded over, and I found myself tak ing a despondent view of life. I wres tled with the feeling far a time and finally succeeded In throwing It off. but later on I came to understand that it was a warning that I would have done well to heed. I had skeerce entered the town of Get-Away-Quick when I was truck by a certain air of general levity and recklessness. Tbe mayor came forward to shake hands with me, and while doing so be whispered in my ear: "Old cock, I've got it all fixed for you and me to be pards In a game of poker and clean up the town." I replied that I never indulged Is poker except when I felt that the hea then of Africa were short of small change, and the mayor seemed to freeze up on me. He had skeercely left me when an alderman suggested that I go In with him on a horse race and scoop tbe town. I gave him a discouraging reply, and be left me with a threat on his Hps. Then a third citizen approach ed me. He was a deputy sheriff, and be wanted me to ring In a tooth paste with my alleviator and beat tbe public and whack up with him. When I re ferred him to my spotless reputation for honesty he shook bis fist under my nose and said I was an old hypocrite and a fraud. The landlord of the tav ern Inquired if I had brought along any loaded dice, and when I replied that I never dealt in such things be also called me names and hinted that I was a cuss who needed taking down a peg or two. As the shades of evening gathered over the rooftrees and tumbled down into the streets I went forth from tbe tavern and set up my stand in the pub lic square and announced tbe virtues of my Pilgrim Pain Alleviator. Then wasn't a man in the crowd who could say that I was not honest and sincere, and I stood ready to produce any num ber of certificates, but it was no use. I never struck a town where they need ed the alleviator worse, but not a bot tle would they buy. Among other things, I assured them That If a man badn't been left bang ing too long the alleviator would re store biro to life. That heart disease gave way before It and consumption took to flight soon as It saw the yaller label. That Uicre never was divorce lo a family using It. That It bad fjva times the enthusiasm f brandy at our fifth the cost. That 0 whole barrel of whisky didn't rw.tslu tin wsrwhooi of single U1 Us, Uul tali wu um)ww. m1 wM I found It so I asked tbe crowa to fol low me to the ball where I was to ex hibit my moving pictures. Desiring to tot tbem understand that I was not It the business for gain and thereby re buke them, I announced Unit the show would lie free to all, Including cross eyed men. This put some life lntc tbem, aud they tagged on behind. 1 opened tbe show by exhibiting a pic ture of the beef trust raising the prlc of liver 400 per cent. Wherever else this picture has been exhibited It has been greeted with dismal groans oi showing the feelings of the masses, but m this Instance a man stood up and swung his bat and shouted: "Hurrah for the bvef trust! Lonj may It wave! Let's have another 4tX per cent raiser He was cheered for fire minutes, dur ing which time several products of tbe vegetable kingdom were thrown my way. I then followed with a picture oi Washington crossing tbe Delaware Wheu this spirited picture was exhib ited iu tbe town of Come Off over 101 free American cltlxeus sprang to tbeli feet aud cheered until five lengths oi stovepipe fell clattering to the floor. During the excitement that followed some one picked my pocket of $7, but I did not lay It up against him. I loni ago discovered that wheu an Americas citizen's patriotism is ape&led to he'l! do most anything to show his desire tt die for bis country. Iu this Instance the picture did not receive one slugle cheer, though I kept it in front of the audience for five mln utes. When my looks expressed tbe as toulshment I felt the mayor got up and said: "Move him along. G. Wash, la a back numlier. Give us something up tt date." I did. 1 gave then) the picture of th congressman found guilty ou two trial of stealing government land not a hundred miles from their town and was about to deliver a brief lecture on the enormity of Lis offense when the crowd rose up and began to cheer and hurrah. They said the congressman was a bully Itoy with a glass eye and that they would sign a petition for his pardon. I choked off my remarks and exhibited a picture of an orphan girl starving on the streets of New York. Not one sympathetic sigh did I heni from the audience. I showed the same girl dead on the sidewalk, and several persons broke Into laughter. I showed ber entering tbe gates of heaven after her trials here on earth, and tbe mayor rose op and said: "This 'ere show seems to be a good deal of a fraud, and if it don't im prove I shall treat it as a fraud." I then exhibited a picture of a trust baying up all the butter, eggs and vegetables in the country and holding them for a raise, while workingmen and their wives and children were eat ing burdocks to keep life In them. Wherever that picture has been ex hibited It has been received with the wildest enthusiasm, and In two cases men have gone out of tbe balls with shotguns to pepper members of the trust, and here it was a dead failure. Nobody cheered and nobody groaned. After a painful ieriod of silence a red headed man arose and said be bad a duty to perform. It was a duty he owed to himself, to his town and to the country at large. While I was wondering what he was getting at he came over and hit me a swat on the jaw that rendered me un conscious. When I recovered I was be ing escorted out of town by a band of hilarious citizens, and before turning back they made it plain that if I ever entered the town of Get-Away-Quick again I might lose my valuable life. Upon casting up tbe damages I found they bad Injured me to the extent of $00, to say nothing of the humiliation to my feelings. I was cast down for an hour or two, but finally charged it up to profit and loss, and the songs of gladness came back to my soul again. A pilgrim is one of the fellers you can't keep on the grass loug. M. QUAD. Tnm'a Advantage. Tom Catt What! Ooing to blame that broken Jam jar on me too? i don't think tbjit Is fair. Bobby-Well, you see. you have nine lives, and I only have one. You can stand the most knocks. Eagle Concert Hall 320 Astor St. The leading amusement house. P., A. PETERSON, Prop Agency for Edison Phonographs and Gold Moulded Records. Duane streets. MUSIC TEACHES. WANTED -THREE MUSIC PUPILS. Inquire at Astorian office. MANDOLIN LESSONS GIVEN MItS. C. D. Stewart, 127 Seventh street. F0K SALE, FURNITURE, STOVES. CARPETS, etc., at ls tban half price you have to piy elsewhere we alio buy and sell everything. Astoria Commission A Auc tloo Co., 363 Commercial stmt, I Ot SALE GOOD MfXISD HAND wsgoa, a few show turn, and amii reyisWr t tarfaJn, Hostler's, C 2t. THE The supplying of any want that may arise iu domestic or commercial life may be readily and quickly accomplished at a nominal cost by the publication of the want in the " Want Ad." columns of the Morning Astorian. A necessity which may arise for buying or selling horses, carnages, furuiture. pianos, real estate, sewing machines, bicy cles, safes, watches, jewelry, typewriters, or thousands of other articles, can be met at once by the insertion of a suitable adver tisement in the morning Astorion. To secure help cf any sort, or situation of any kind, to find lost articles, to secure board or boarders, lodging or lodgers, borrow money, obtain any kind of security; any of these wants may be supplied by using the "Want" columns of The Morning Astorian. Rates For Classified or "Want" Advertisements OKI INSERTION ONI CENT A WORD TBSEE LINEJ THUS DATS, 30 CXIfTS Count Six Words to a Lisa. to Cents a line a wk. -SITUATION WANTED" For the benefit of persons out of employment, ads under the head of "Situa tion Wanted " will WANTED. WANTED FURNISHED HOUSE OR suit of housekeeping rooms for the summer. Address, Manager, Warren Packing Co. C12-3t. WANTED MAN AND WIFE WANTS room and board; must be clean and reasonable. Address "F.," care Astorian. WANTED YOUNG MAN WISHES place in private family to room and board; easy walking distance .Smith's Point. Address "K." Astorian Office. 6-ll-3t. BRANCH MANAGERS WANTED; $20 cash weekly; live at home; experience unnecessary; no canvassing; enclose stamp for particulars. Aluminum Hanger Co., Chatfield, Minn. C-5-30U WANTED 100 LBS. CLEAN RACS. Address "C," Astorian Office. HELP WANTED. SITUATIONS WANTED. SITUATION WANTED AS CASHIER. bookkeeper or clerk; experienced; best of references. AddresB "M," Agtorian, or Phone 2174 Red. 6-10-2t. LOST AND FOUND. LOST BROWN BEAD PURSE; FIND er enquire Astorian Office. LOST SILK UMBRELLA; IVORY handle with three hordes heads on; return to bartender at Safeldt's saloon; $5 reward; no questions asked. 6-12-3t. LOST White bull terrier bitch; one brown ear; return to rooming nouse over Sunnyside saloon or to Al Porter, Wigwam Saloon; reward. 6-9-2t. LOST-A SMALL MESH GILL-NET; new; between Miller Sands and Jetty, on Tuesday morning last; belongs to Nick Kereage, Pillar Rock Cannery. Reward, $10. 6-12-lwk. FOR RENT-HOUSES. NICE ROOMS AND BOARD FOR GEN tleman and wife or single. Enquire Astorian Office. 4-25 tf NOTICE FOR PROPOSALS. PROPOSALS FOR CLEARING LAND. Bids are hereby asked by the Astoria Water Commission. First: For slashing and burning the brush and standing timber on about eleven acres of land. Second: For clearing said land of all brush, trees, logs and stumps and burn ing same. Bids to be filed with clerk of the Water Commission at City Hall by noon, June 23, 1906. Proposals to be accompanied by certi. fled check of 5 per cent of amount of bid. Plans and specifications may be procured at superintendent's office. Right U reserved to reject any and all bids. G. W. LOUNSBERRY, Clerk. -10-2wks. t OKERAOE. 0. J. TRENCH AM) Real Estate, Insurance, Cemmlealen ne' ihlplna. CUITOM HOUIC BROKER. Offlee 1W Ninth Street, Neat tt WIe Office. ASTORIA ORE0ON, MORNING ASTOMAN be printed three days free of chart. RE8TAUJMNT8. FIRST-CLASS MEAL for 15c; nice cake, coffee, jie, or doughnuts, 5c, at U. S. Restaur ant. 434 Bond St BEST 15 CENT MEAL. You can always find the best 15-cent meal in the city at the Rising Sun Restaurant 612 OorjQinercialSt. Mon Fong' Restaurant Noodles and Chop Suey. MEALS OF ALL KINDS OPEN DAY AND NIGHT 74 EIGHTH STREET WOOD YARDS. ALL KINDS OF WOOD-BOX WOOD from Hunes Mill a specialty. Ben E. Koos. Tel. Black 24-JC. 1828 38th street. WOOD! WOOD! WCODI Cord wood, mill wood, box wood, any kind of wood 1 1 lowest prices. Kelly, the transfer man. 'Phone aigi Main, Bam on Twelfth, opposite c?tra bouse. HOTELS HOTEL PORTLAND Finest Hotel In the Northwtet PORTLAND, ORE. LAUNDRIES. The Troy Laundry The only whit labor laundry In th Ity. Dees the best work at reasonable prioea and la in every way worthy of your patronage 10th and DUANE Sts Phene 1M1. HOUSE MOVERS. FREDRECKSON BROSWe make a specialty of house moving, carpenters, contractors, general jobbing; prompt at tention to all orders. Corner Tenth and PROFESSIONAL CARD. OSTEOPATHISTS. DS. BH0DA C. BICES OSTEOPATH Office Manscli eld. Prion Black totl 171 Commercial 8t, Astoria, Ore, DENTISTS. DR, T. I, HALL, DENTIST IU Owawmlnl Hi At tori Otwrn, 00000000000000000000 nniM 111 Dr. VAUGHAN, Dkntiht Pythian Building, Astoria. Oregon. Dr. W. 0. LOGAN DENTIttl 74 Commercial St., Hhanalian BuiltlinK ATTORNEYS AT LAW. CHAS. H. ABERCR0MBIE, Attomeyat-Law. General Practitioner. Notary Public. Rooms 33 38-Phona Main 2031. Page Block, Cor. Commercial A 12th St. WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. THE SAVOY Populir Concert HalL Good music All ar welcome. Cor nar 8eventk and Astor. New La Tosca 33 ASTOR STREET. I. N. VANCIL & CO, CHOICE WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. Furnished Rooms, Day or Night. LOGGERS' HOME. ASTORIA, OREGON, NOTICE. Notice is hereby given that the Com mon Council of the City of Astoria has declared its determination and Intention to improve Kensington avenue, from a point 10 feet east of the center line of Eighth street to the wet line of Eleventh street, excepting the south half of the street between Eighth and Ninth streets. Said improvement Bhall be made by grad ing said street to the established grade to the width of 25 feet through the cen ter thereof. In maters of detail said Improve me.nt shall be constructed according to the plans and specifications therefor to be prepared by the City Surveyor as hereinafter) provided and general ordi naries No. 11)01 and any matter of con (ruction arid drainage found neoeisary to make the improvement safe or sub stantial shall lm dons by the contractor whether specified or not without extra charge, The Clfy Surveyor lias mn directed to make and flls with the Auditor and Police Judy i,f tii City of Astoria plans siid t'ftiiMtotii for the eonot runt Ion of ld Improvement and estimates of Tim AHiiiAAi ft an (; 1 HI 1 S 41O BOND ST, S I ASTORIA, OREGON Carries the Finest Lln of i Wines, I Liquors I and I I Cigars 1 I CALL AND SEE US I the C.)"t a ml expense thereof. That the eot sml expenses of con structing said Improvement shall be de frayed by special assessment upon the lots, lands ami premises benefit ted by the nn mo, whieh snld lot, lands and premiss are included In the special as sessment district Including all lots, lands and premium so benefitted to-wlt Ut ft, ft, 7 and 8 In block 120, lots 5. (I, 7 and 8 In block 110) lots 6, 0, 7 and 8 In block 118) lots 1, 2, 3 and 4 In block 137, and lot 1. 8. 3 and 4 In block 130. all in that part of the City of Astoria, as laid out and recorded by John Mo dure and extended by Cyrus Olnsy, In Clatsop County, State of Oregon. OLOF ANDKRSON, Auditor and Police Judge of the City of Astoria. NOTICE. Notice is hereby given that the Com mon Council of the City of Aitorla hn declared It determination and Intention to Improve Crand avenue, from the, west lino of F.levruth street to the east line of Sixth street on the established grade thereof, aud to the full width thereof. Said Improvement shall be made by grading said street to the full width thereof, and to the established grade and by constructing sidewalk 8 feet wide on both sides of said street, and by macadamising said street from curb to euro, wun crusnea roe a ins ui pui oi 0 nlrhes with the construction of gutters on each id of the street. All material lined olmll be good, aound red or yellow fir or lumber, and ths deck ing on the ilew!k hull lie two-Inch lumber. In matter of detail said improvement hall le eotmtructed according to tbe plan ami peclfloaHons then-for to be after provided and general ordinance No, lnol ami any matter of mint met Ion and prepared by the City Surveyor as herein iliuimiKO found ii'-ceo-ary to maks tha improvement nfe or nuMantlal nhall be done by the rout Motor, whether Speci fied or not. without extra charge. The City Surveyor has ln-en directed to make and file with tiie Auditor and Police .linle of the City of Atoria, plan and specification for the construction of aid Improvement and etiinle of ths conU ami erpenset thereof. That the cot and expense of con structing laid improvement shall I de frayed by special ament upon the lot, land and premioes benefitted by the tame which said lots, lamia and premiss ore Included In the special amement district including all lots, land and prem ise o benefitted to-wit: Lota 6. 0, 7 and 8 in each of block 71. 72, 73. 74 and 73. and lots 1. 2, 3 snd 4 in each of blocks 80, 87, 88, 80. 00 ail In that part of the City of Atoria a laid out and recorded by John McClur, and extended by Cyrus Olney In Clatsop County, State of Oregon. OLOF ANDERSON, Auditor snd Police Judge of the City of Astoria. NOTICE. Notice Ik hereby given that the Com mon Council of the City of A-toria has declined it determination and intention to impute Kleventh treet from the south line of Franklin avenue to the north line of Ilnrrlon avenue. Said improvement hull be made by grading said utr. nt to the cutablUhed grade with a sub-grade of 0 inches Mow the etablihcd grade, with a 12-Inch crown from curb to curb, and by constructing cement sidewalks on both side of the street, Ave feet in width, with a Glrtch cement curb, and that a two-foot park space between the property line and the outer edge of toe sidewalks, and with a perk space of three feet between the Inner edge of the sidewalks and the inner edge of the curb, and by filling in and macadamlns said street from gutter to gutter with crushed rock to the depth of 0 Inches, with a, 12-inch crown In the center. In matters of detail said' improvement shall be constructed according to thtt plans anil specifications therefor to be prepared by the Citp Surveyor a here intafter provided and general ordinance No. 1001 and any matter of construction and drainage found necessary to make the improvement safe or substantial shall be done by the contractor whother specified or not, without extra charge. The City Surveyor has been directed to make and file with the Auditor and Police Judge of the City of Astoria, plans and specifications for the construc tion of said improvement and estimates of the costs and expenses thereof. That the costs and expenes of con structing said Improvement shall be de frayed by special assessment upon the lots, lands and premises benefitted by the same which said lots, la nils and premlsm are included In the special as sessment district Including all lots, lands and remises so benefitted to-witi Lots 1, 2, 3, 12, 13 and 14, and W. 1-2 of lot 4, and W. 12 of lot 11 all In block 70; lot 1 2, 3, 12, 13, 14, W. 12 of lot 4, and W. 12 of lot 1 1 in block 01 1 lots 3, 4, 6 and in block 71, and lots 3, 4, 5 and fl In block 00, all In that part of the City of Astoria, as laid out and recorded by John MuClure and extended by Cyrus Olnsy, In Clatsop Couiify, State of Oregon, Of-OF ANDKRSON, Auditor snd Pullee Judgs ut the City of Astoria.