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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 8, 1905)
THE MORNING ASTORIAN. ASTORIA. OREGON. FRIDAY, DECEMBER I, 1903. Hans Hears a Tale of Woe From a Friend The Genua Cobbler Listens to How Schmidt Wu Bunkoed by Book Agent ICopyrfcht. XK6, y McClur. Phillips Co. nOT other day vben I put a ce ment natch on a Khoe nml I J don't haf no more work niy old friend Schmidt comes In tnd says; "Ban, if yon look at me do you pe llet I rhaa some greenhorns V "Not on her life," I says, "Does aomepody calls you ereenhornsr "Tea my rife, She says I vhas so freen der cows eat me up. I don't pe- Bef It, nnd I like to ask you." Doea aomet'ings happen to you pooty tjueekT" "YheU, maype. Do you ever hear of some pook called 'Dose Americans Who Hake America r " 1 don't pellef so. Ybaa ahe like aonie family almanac mlt der full moon InT "No. She Thas two t'ousand pages big, nnd ahe haf two t'ousand picture "OLDT SCBKTOT, TOU THAS TBI JACKASSES cnd fools r of der biggest men In dls country. She rhas bound la calves, mit gold edges, nnd she last five hoonered years." "By golly, but dot vhas better ash some lea cream 1 I like to haf a pook for At hoonered years. Don't ahe bat mora ash two t'ousand big men in Wmr "Shust two t'on n"l jtacn one naa a picture nnd a page. It tells who ha Thas und all aboudt him, nnd Then he vhas deadt big shil dren read dot pook. I told dot agent to coma down nnd see you. Maype yon Thas big enough to get In dot pook If yon like to. Vhas he herer "If be Thas I don't see him. Did he apeak mlt your Ha did. Last week he comes In my place nnd aaya vhaa I old Schmidt I Thaa. All right He reads of me in der papers und comes up from rhil adelphla to see me. He don't Ilka to get dot pook oudt unless I vhas In him. nnd ha shows me der namea of one t'ousand big men. I see Shorge Wash ington, Abraham Lincoln, Grofer Cleve land nnd all aooch men." "By George, but dot vhas great! Does he want some money to put you to dot pookr "les; one hoonered dollars. For one hoonered dollars I vhas on page 14, be tween Lincoln and Grant Dot makes me ash big ash anypody, nnd maype I eont haf to pay fare on der street ears no more. I like you to be in dere, lex Hans, if you can pay one booDered dollars." "But I can't I can't pay one noon ered cents. If I vhas a big mans, no pody vhill find him oudt Does It please your vife dot you go In dot pookT "Xo. I speak to her aboudt It, but she says I vhaa some fools und vhill get swindled. It vhas all jealousy. It vhas two t'ousand Lis men und no women, und dot makes her mad." "But you go in der pook all der samer I says. "SuuRt der same. Der price vhas high, but If you vhas a big mans you don't mind It. Yes, I goes In dot pook nnd der agent writes me oop. I come In to show you. Llnten to dis: "'Dot oldt mans Schmidt vhas born In Shermany a long while ago, und Then he vhas a young mans be romes oafer to America mlt brass buttons on his coat "'lie vhas poor und proud und re spectables, und be work In a grocery for $8 a month In two years be vhas like Shorge Washington. "'Vben he grows oop to own dot grocery der peoples like to run him for alderman, but he don't care for office, snd he vhas some honest mans. " 'lie has one wife, who Thas a treas re, nnd bis only son, Joe, vhill climb op to der top if he keeps on like he Thas. "'Mr. Schmidt can't ride a bicycle nor cut some pigeon wings on roller skates, but he vhaa good natured. cheerful und ready to help others. " 'If some war breaks oudt In Amer ica he Thill be found alongside der pa trlots, a gun on bis shoulder, a flag in his band und a winh to perish In bis enthusiastic heart. Don't you make no mistake on oldt Schmidt. "'We like to say aboudt (lis great mans dot he vhas some greenhorns vben be first com to America, but ry und py he vhas so smart dot uopody ran beat him for 2 cent. More ash ten monies trr to swindle blni efery day. Far?? vhas all tn aiu. 'Finally we like to say of d'.s niant dot he vhas ash big ash Washington ash good ash Lincoln und ash brave ash mm a Das Paaeiar. Xanophon opens his disquisition on bounds by an enumeration of all the defects, physical and moral, which a hound should not possess, wherein It Is easy to recogulie all the fallings which are still among us. Leggy bounds, weedy hounds, flat sided hounds, flat footed hounds, uudersised bounds, headstrong hound, flashy bouuds, sulky bounds, dwellers, babblers, skirt era all are faithfully portrayed and un compromislngly condemned. "Hounds with such faults ss these, whether dus to nature or to bad tMluing, are of lit tie worth. Tbey are enough to disgust even a truly keen sportsman." A good bound should havs a light small, sinewy bead, a long, round, flexi ble neck, broad chest, free shoulders, straight, round, wiry fore legs, straight knees, round sides, muscular loins, full flanks, but not too full His thighs shock) be firm, compact and well let down, his feet round and his stern long, straight and tapering. Such is Xenophoo's de scription of a good bound. It seems to as not amiss for the fourth century before oer era. "The reason that tha root of chicory, to blue flowtr which covers waste places all over the northwesters statss is not a good substitute for coffes la that w haTs no alkaloid in chicory," said a Chicago chemist "HorsoYsr, we have no oil Cklcory contains a quantity or resinous matter ih a quantity of matter closely resembling the narcotic principles obtained from tbs common lettuce. The milky Juice contains a narcotic element. Although not eligible aa a substitute for coffee, chicory can be used for adulterating coffee, and many people who get accus tomed to the taste of the mixture pre fer It to pure coffee. In former times the prejudice against chicory was to great that English laws were passed against adding it to coffee, but I be lieve there is no restriction in England or elsewhere now. The use of chicory never got enough foothold in America to make it significant in the volume of trade."-M.lJ waukee Free Press. Bear a. Bar mm Bar4. The regulations for sharing observed in the bench and bar probably corns flown from Roman times, and the his tory of the custom among that people la a curious one. Pliny says that beards were universally cultlrated as a matter of course till about 300 B. C. when Sicilian barbers, who probably acquired their art from Greece, first came to Rome and Sclplo Africa nua set me fashion 01 snaring every day. Thenceforward It became so much the vogue in good society that the term par bans, outlandish, was long supposed to mean bearded, In allusion to the un kempt hair of unclTlUsed nations. In creased accuracy In etymology has shown the real meaning to be akin to bfllbus, stammering. In allusion to their uncouth speech. For three centuries barbers had it all their own way tn Roman circles. Then came the Em peror Ilatrlan. who, as Plutarch af firms, grew his beard to hide some ngly scars, and forthwith It became the mode. Lawyers and priests, even more conservative In their observances than other folks, continued to share: bence. it Lb supposed, came the traditional practice of the English bar, through the law courts of Italy and France. - London Globe. KIb JamV Book!. Some Tery fine binding was exe cuted for King Jame I., who during his entire life was au enthusiastic patron of letters and art. In some of bis books the thistle Ih Introduced with heavy corner pieces and the arms In the center. One flue piece of work now In the British museum H In bright brown calf powdered with fleur-de-lis. Another folio In crimson velvet has the arms of Englnnd embroidered on both sides with gold thread on u ground work of yellow h ilk. The king's Initial are worked above. The lettering Is In leather, and the boards are tied to gether by red ribbon, constituting a regal book in every particular. John GibHon, In Scotland, und the Barkers, In England, were appointed to be the king's blnaer, but there Is little trace of their work now extant. Chambers' Journal. London's Chimney Sweep. On May 1 all the chimney sweeps In London were for years treated to a great feast by the Montajru family of Portuian square. The custom originat ed with Lady Mary Wortley Montagu bout the year 1722. This famous Eug llsh authoress had a son Edward Wortley Montagu who is known In history for eccentric life. Having been sent to Westminster school, be ran way three times. On one of these flights be changed clothes with a little hlmney sweep and spent a long time with the sweeps as one of their pro fession. Ills parents bunted for him II over the country. At last bis hid ing place was discovered, and he was restored to them. This happened on May 1, and In commemoration of the happy day Lady Montagu every year afterward until her death gare a feast to the sweepa of London. The Monta gus continued this custom through all the following generations, and now May 1 baa become a general holiday for sweeps. EMBROIDERY LESSONS GIVEN KSSONS IN HARDANGER EM- broidery is piven by Mrs. Julius F.iickson, 0.1 Wet Bond street, Astoria. for (25 cent per hour. 2 IjUllii HELP WANTED. GIRL WANTED FOR HOUSEWORK in family of three. Portland suburbs near car line. Wages $15.00 per month. Address "D" Atorian. ROCKMEN WANTED AT BUNKER hill quarry. Take boat to Stella, Washington. RAILWAY MAIL CLERKS FOR FOSI tions in Oregon; 10 men wasted to prepare for coming examination 1 be ginning salary $800. Write st osce to E. O. Hynen, 12 Breedea blJg, Port land, Ore. LEARN 1CLEGRAPHT AND R. R. Accounting. $30 to $300 a month sal try assured our graduates under bond. Our all schools the largest la America ud endorsed by all Railroads. Write for catalogue. MORSE SCHOOL Of TELEGRAPHY, Cincinnati, O, Buffalo, tT. Y, Atlanta, Ga, La, Crosse, Wis, Tex arkana, Tex, Saa Francisco, Cal GIRL WANTED TO DO GENERAL housework. Apply at A. Byers, 259 Duene street. SITUATIONS WASTED. LADY WOULD LIKE POSITION AS cashier, saleslady, or any light work. Address "K" care Astorian office. WAITRESS WOULD LIKE DINING room work, or housework; can cook Address "B" care Astorian office. FOR SALE MISCELLANEOUS, FOR S4LE-VY FQliTV OF demotion in six line bu-snfi lots near Astoria railroad depot. Address Sidney Dell, San Pedro, Cal. SECOND HAND DONKEY ENGINES for sale, suitable for logging and hoUting purposes. For description and price apply to F. D. Kuettnsr, Astoria Oregon. FOR SALE CHEAP HORSE, BUG- 17 and harness. Inquire Astorian of- Ice. MUSIC TEACHER. MAXIXJ1.IN LESSONS GIVEN MRS. ('. 1). Stewart, 127 Seventh street. FOR RENT HOUSES. NICEIA FURNISHED-FOUR ROOM lioii-e cuiiier !Kh ami Dtiune, $12 per month. IiHjtiire of 1!. J. Kiikwuod, 0. II. A X. doek. FOR RENT FURNISHED ROOMS. FUliXlSHKI) ROOMS - A LAUGH furni-lied r uiifiiiniliel room on Comini-reiitl t t ! , titli yai und Imtli, K-!t-iinilb. I iij 11 i 1 " at "A-toiimi." BOARD AND ROOMS FOR SEVERAL jmrlies can be secured at the If olden IIou-, Oth and Dtiune streets. FOR RENT NICELi FURNISHED rooms with stoves; also housekaping rooms very reasonable. 673 Commercial street, Shanahan building. FOR RENT-FOUR UNFURNISHED rooms for housekeeping. Man and wife preferred. Cheap rent to right parties, 1CC1 Thirty-fourth street. FOR RENT THREE FURNISHED rooms for light house keeping. No thidren. Enquire 472 Commercial street. LOST AND FOUND. LOST-A LADIES HAND BAG, CON ..taining two purses with money. Lot between 16th and Franklyn and 17th and Grand. Return to this offio and get reward. REAL ESTATE WANTED. WANTED TO BUY, SMALL HOUSE of S to 7 rooms. State location and price. Address "H." 1, Astorian. BET Situations Wanted Advertisements Inserted Twice Without Charge. STOCKHOLDERS MEETING Notice i hereby given that the regular annual meeting of the took hosiers of the Columbia River Packers' Aociation will he held at the office of the Company at Astoria. Oregon, on lVcember 11, 100."., at 11 o'clock a. m. for the purpo of electing director and the transaction of such other business that may properly be considered. Astoria, Oregon, December 1, 1905. By Order of the President, GEORGE II. GEORGE, Secy. BUSINESS DIRECTORY RESTAURANTS. GUM VAH CO. Restaurant 178 Astor St Astoria, Ors. All kinds of meats. Noodles and Chop Suey. TOKE POINT OYSTER HOUSE. Eastern and Shuatwater Bay Oytws .Steak, Cliopa, Etc. Open day and night 11th St., next to Scully' cigar store FIRST-CLASS MEAL for 15c; nice cake, coffee, pie, or eVjughnuta, 5c, at U. S. Restaur dot 434 Bond SL BEST to CENT MEAL. You can always find the beet 15-cent meal in the city at the Rising Sun Restaurant 612 CsommercialSt LAUNDftIC. The Troy Laundry Tha only white labor laundry In tha city. Does the best work st restonable prices and Is in every way worthy of your patronage 10th and DUANE tta Phsn 1M1. GARDENING. POTTED PLANTS AND FLOWERS for sale Experienedc gardening and ob work of all kinds done on short lotice Address orders to X. C. Care iatorian Office. WOOD YARDS. WOOD! WOOD! WCOD! Cord wood, mill wood, box wood, any kind of wood at lowest prices. Kelly, tha transfer man. 'Phone 3191 Main, Barn on Twelfth, opposite opera houae. TAILORING. E. MARTINSON Fine merchant tailoring. Room 5, over Cooper's store, K. of P. Building, As toria. FURNITURE. ROBINSON a H1LDEBRAND Goodman Bldg. 688 Commercial 8t U F.N ITU RE, Carpsts, tedding 8tovss, Matting, Window 8hades, LINOLEUM, Ete. BROKERAGE. C. J. TRENCH A RI) JWal Estate, Insursneo, Commlsslot and Shipping. CUSTOM HOUSE BROKER. 0 flics 13S Ninth Street, Next to Justlo Offioe. ASTORIA. OREGON. SEASIDE DIRECTORY. WINES AND LIQUORS. THE GEM An up to-dats rerart for Ontlpmfn. Choice Wines, Liquor and Cigars, flive n s call snd we'll do the rent. 0. E. HUNTER, Prop, Seas it. Ore. P (0 ilk PROFESSIONAL CARDS. PHYSICIANS. JAY TUTTLE, M. D. PUYSICIAN AND MUKQEON Anting Aaatatant Hurieoa V. 8. Marine lloaultel Norvloe. Jffloe hours: 11 to II a-m. 1 to 4: II p-m. ITT Commercial Street, tnd Floor, DR. J. P. GORAY, Specialist EYE, EAR, XOSE AND THROAT S05 Ortgoniaa Building. PORTLAND .... OREGON OITEOPATHISTS. DR. RHODA C HICES OSTEOPATH Offlo lfansek Bid. Phone Black 1011 171 Commercial St. A atone. Ore. DENTISTS. DR. T. L. BALL, DENTIST. 524 Commercial 8t Astoria Oreson Dr. VAUGIIAN, Dkntist Pythlsn Building. Astoria, Orriron Dr. W. 0. LOOAN DENTIH1 578 Commercial fit., Rbanahan Duildin DR. C. W. BARR, Dentist, alansell Building Telephooe Red 2Xll Astoria. Oregon ,4 60 YEARS w A Tnaoc Masms 44r OCS40MS mm AafNMfn1n( a (kotrk tnd mum ui fatctlr aarcriwa Mr o&tuum frM kiar m lnfn(Vn M rokablf Buantahta, ('oaawaKi. Ilotnainrtlf aiHitdaiillal. MINOBOOl oa fumuia am f raa. I Mil mi uanf fur aarriB paianu. fataui laaail IhroaaB Mma m La. facalrc tfKtrt aaftca, wllhip niwl rti.nra, Uk la Scientific flmcriwn. A handanmalf I1laalrala4 aalf. I amat Mr- CnlaiMHi ,if anr ariatniRa )"iraaJ T1 arma. U faari lour month. IL Moi ,ib sotasr BXaHaalata. Hraac vnca, KBVWU The Smith Premier is the simplest and strong, est of all writing machines. It does better work, does it quickerlasts longer, and costs less in the long run than any other type writing machine. It is The World's Best Typewriter I.rt ui lend you our link book tctlini all about it. Typrwriter Hipplir4. Mi. china rrntrd. Strnognpbf r fumuheH, The Smith Premier Typewriter Company 247 Mm. t . I' lilmiiii Or MORNING ASTORIAN Is on Salt In Astoria at J. If. GSUFIN'S BOOKSTORE. UTZINGER'S NEWS DEPOT, OCCIDENT HOTEL OFFICE, SCULLY'S CICAB STORE, JOS. JACOBS, CIGAR STORE. sr.a THE ASTORIAN OFFICE, Tenth and Commercial Sta. IS II wn IV MEDICAL. THE Dr. C. GEE WO Chinese Medicine Co. Formerly loral 2A3 Alder Htreelj (or the i.tfle ycara,UAVE MOVED Into Uis lars brick building at the south-east cor ner of First and Morrison rJlreeU. En trance No. 162 front Ht. Successful Home Treatment Or. CORK WO la knnwa throughout Ua United BlalM, and la rallMl th Uraal thlitaaa txx'lor on aivount of hla wondnrful cur without tha am ut knlre, without nalD IhiImhi or dniiaof any klad. II a treaU any and all dla-am wlih iowerful orlanlal rwKa Imrba, Imrka. and veaatabUn thai arc un known to medical arlvno la Uiia oounlry. and tliruuih tha ua ut Uiaaa barmlaas Mow dli hr (uaratitana to ours Catarrh, Asthma. Lunj Trawok, UMirmstijm, Ntrvousua, Siosuth. Uvsf, KMsty, rmsh) WtakiMss and all Chronic D statss, (all or wrlla, anrloalna 4 S-enl alamp tot mailing bonk and clreiilar. Addreaa, Ths C 0 Woe CMnsM MdkiaC.. Mestloatbit -in rVtUns OrtfM. i- - J-., i HOTELS. HOTEL PORTLAND PORTLAND, ORE. Finest Hotel in ths Northwast LICK San Francisco's leading coo enlenca tnd family hotel centrally located. Co vtniept to all car lines, and places of amusement and is terett. Cafe and Grill at tached Rates $ 1 00 per day and up, Street can direct to hotel from and to all depota, HOUSE San Francisco, Cal. 1 Tkis is -tke kind of gl Stoi for wkickiKe NATIONAL MAGAZINE is paying $10,000 f Too DimcotT la a Nantyltanla loan. b.r. lb. m,wl, I atMuna a arlai aM Qvaatr IpltiiOr ana 41 aurnaa a atr gian4npk, a font par aha Had In Um tmrw 1 hla la.ati a I'm im-,i,4 awi aaaaM alKlaiiua al an nJiS,?.i?',r. w na ttla iMtm nwa.u.0. and al . paiiv In uw w.ili-1 bf.. r.u -phi ha iA.TrMlnTir J... .",'r TX- 1,"."aM lha la iiUOua i nut a. Do yoxv know of atetter one wa want little atoriw. anwdijif,, hit of ,..-7 inpninw irom a rii-wnaner. nu,in or Uxk Uat hiu nude ou ThinK, Lauh or Cry J4 priira will 1 given for th bMt aclf. tion. itn piles ot ailwr d..llara a, hiKh at Hie limt un tucccailul cumueliloit aia the lirai award. ' '1 lie only condition Inr an..ln it.:. jetitimi that vouwnd With vuin lit ! ' t ni.,ntlii' Iriul ubrni,i,M" i to tus Nnllonal Maflzlnc AcJUresi, JOE CHAPPLE, Editor DORCilCSTtR AVENUE. Boalon. Mass. -mjt a