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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 20, 1905)
! 2 Vr - THE MORXIXG ASTOR IAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER so, 1903. THE MORNING ASTORIAN Established 1I73. Published Daily by TEX J. S. DEIXIKGER tOJtPUTT. SUBSCRIPTION SITES. By nail, per year 17.00 By mail, per month -.60 By carrier, per month .75 WEEKLY ASTORIAN. By mail, per year, In advance.. (1.00 Entered m econd-rlasn matter June a. at the poalornre at Amori. ore yon, under the art ofCongrecaof March 3, 187S. ayOnter for the dfliwinjt of TBI Hoax im taroaiAX to eitiier nakteac or place of bunlDea nay be made by postal card or through tele -hone. Any irrejrularlty In de li wy should be onadiate)r reported to the office of publication. TELEPHONE MAIN 661. rlum. He due not come up to the tandard of a firt ctas criminal. He would be deapieed by hie Jailmate if he wereput into atripes. WITH THE JESTERS. "What' become of that fellow Tweed- lee?" 0, be opened a shop!" "Doing well!" "Xo; doing time. He was caught." Stray Stories. On the famou "101" ranoh there U a 100-aere watermelon patch, urroundod by a high barbed wire fence. Along it t interval a posted the inviting no tice: "Five dollars' fine for a ay one who goe through thi patch without taking a melon."1 New York Tribune. Jin Pitiey They nay he is 0 unkind to hi wife. ' , " k Mr. Pltley That , show how people misjudge a man. I know it, to be a fact that he pent one whole year en deavoring to make a nti-faetory in vestment of his wife's money. Town and Count rr. RACE SUICIDE IN MASSACHUSETTS Magazine Publisher We've got a great magazine this month. Magazine Editor Yes, I think if pretty good inyelf. That etory of Scribbler' is a corker. Magazine Publisher Oh, 1 haven't read anything in your section. But just look at that! Two hundred and fourteen pages of advertising! Somerville Journal. A MINISTER TO VANITY. Wi aa Taelr Attlraael Tawara the Ml rear. It Is not always for the mere gratlfl- cation of personal vanity that should attentively study our mirrors. Boers te advised all young peopl tot look often in their looking glass to as certain If they were good looking: that If they were so they might strlv to make their mental attainments corre spond, snd If they vert not then they i&ignt endeavor by the superior sccoui- C&pSteJ PunSthxaeni YSSTIRDAT Bob Jonea. Wy. he Tarawa? a piece of chalk at bm RIM la school as took me square la U' earl 1 atwaalad far fair. Tasobar coma to wasre we aat. Aa1 "Mob Jonaa. did r de thatr he Bays, share aa awful eroaa, "W"y," Bos say "I sire t a toaa aat as son-set hard a-tall. But that baby had tor bawl!" "Tou're a liar!" t yalled out rer I'd had Urn tar think about VThara I ua s t T.a fK. .K. pllshments of their minds to makt up Toraed an' looked rtht elaaa throuh sae, tor ueir personal snortcominrs. I " D 'now. doto or you This Is excellent advice foe vault .Jwn.inWWM, ASTORIA IRON WORKS JOHN FOX, rres. and floyt. F L BISHOP. 8ecrtUry A. L. FOX, Vies Pres. AHTOH1A HAVLNUb BANK, Treat Roderick Have you heard the news? (.'holly Sapp rescued a widow from the breaker the other dav. Van Albert But who is going to res cue Cliolly ! Chicago Xev.. ODDS AND ENDS. Two Munich scientists have by means of the Roentgen ray succeeded in pho tographing the human heart between beat. Finally Massachusetts ha got around to it. She has tackled the question or race suicide. It i now to be discovered whether the tall haft that looms over Bunker Hill is a memorial to patriot who shed their blood in vain. It is to be ascertained whether the Old Bay rtate having done her duty in preserv ing the soil, must henceforth trust to the joyous immigrant to populate and enjoy it fruits. In the dim vista, so to speak, along the track of this insid ious inquiry there looms a tax on ltacli elors. Don't doubt it! While statis tic show a large majority of old maids over old men, there is no doubt that the The Rev. H. A. ltaumgartner of Hen ingenious lawmakers will want to ta Iey-on-Thames rowed from Caiu Col the bachelor for not reducing the op- lege. Cambridge, at the first Henley re posite sex in due proportion from a posi- gatta in 1S3U. He is 83 years old. tion of happy independence to the re straint and dependence of the married The authorities of Xordhousen. tste. I Saxony, have forbidden the use of the The one glimmer of hope for the un-street to any person wearing an article regenerate bachelor exists in the first! of dress that sweep the pavement clause of the new undertaking. Charles Offenders are to be fined 30 marks, Felton Pidgin, who is in charge of the census now in prepress, declares that I Ann? manoeuvres renresentim? bat he is going to begin by investigating tie for the conquest of India, and cov the married couples to ascertain wheth- ering an area of 900 square miles, are er they are neglecting their duty to to be carried out in honor of the posterity. That is a phase of the ques-1 Prince of Wales coming visit to India tion th..t has received no enlightenment at me hands or the state so far. On of the attractions at the Palace We are not informed a to what re- theater, London, is a "dance" in which commendations Mr. Pidgin is prepared eight girls take part, lving flat on their to make if he discovers that the popula- j back and going through the motions of tion is not on s normal increase in tho the dance with their feet. apartment houses where children are al lowed. Other couples will probably re- Mr. McMillan, wife of United State fer him to the jaaUar and the sign: "Xo Lsitor McMillarr) .of JUchiganuhaa a dogs or children." It should not be pheasant farm at her summer home, near accepted as an excuse not in Massa-1 Magnolia, Mas. She employes two men chusetts, with its tradition and patriot- servant to care for them, i-m. Then the sisterhood of maidens Miould be severely catchised as to tre A new Jersey Judge has decided that superfluity, and the responsibility should it is allowable for a man to hold out be placed where it rightly belongs. 5 cent for himself after giving the Seriously, the lead taken by Massa- balance of $16.20 of his week's wage chusetts in this department of vital sta- to his wife, pshaw! What if he should twtics could be followed with value I squander it? by other states. It would give us a basis of computation for estimates that All told, foreign loans, domestic would permit of provision for a popula- loan, war taxes, increased custom du- tion of ten, twenty, thirty year hence, tie, etc., Japan has raised nearly $8.V),- approximately well known in advance. 000.000 for war puriKe. A wages in the United States are at least six time higher than in Japan, the amount raised by that country is equal to our raising jj(.,100,000,000. possessed moderns, but tt ta Improba ble that the high meutal attitude of Socrates Is appreciated by them. How the elaborate toilet of today could be accomplished without the aid of the mirror It Is Impossible to Imagine. It Is popularly supposed that the mirror Is the woman's pet possession, but msn is by no means avers to contemplat ing his manly charms aa reflected there to. A woman frankly confesses her in- tercet in tL alluring combination of glass and Quicksilver, but the man. wall voicing bla scorn, proves bis su perior vanity by his concealed and se cretive study of It He jeers st his wife's cheval glass. But was anything more entirely provocatlvs of human vanity ever Invented than the many tided shaving glass T London Chroni cle? RUSES OF BANKERS. arwTwva i aaa ia a.naar Gala Ttate aa laaalra CaaSdea. Some amusing anecdotes sre told of the devices resorted to by bsnkers to gain time and Inspire confidence. Of one memorable occasion the excited subscribers, much to their Indignation, were only able to enter the bank one by one except at the cost of spoiled coats, as the cute msnager had caused the door posts to be freshly painted. Another bank prevented a crisis in Its affairs by exhibiting In the win dows large tubs apparently brimful of sovereigns. These tubs, however, were simply upside down and a small quan tity of gold only plied np on their hot toms. Eut the most Ingenious dodge of all wis successfully carried out In Buenos Ayres. There was a run on a large bank, and for several days subscribers besieged the premises, withdrawing money and placing It In another bank on the opposite side of the road. It happened, however, that these two In atJtutlons had a private understanding, and aa fast as the "safe" bank recelv ed the deposits they were returned to the "unsafe" one by an underground passage, with the result that every on marveled at Its continued ability to meet Its demands. Ixndon News. Tak yar book an' go an' sat With tha glrlar " ! Oat, but you bet T W fait awful cheap, baeua Ws thous-sl 'at a lickin wus Easier to stas' 'an that I But I went aerost an' aat ' V Down by XJaala Smith, an, say, Bha Just looked th other way Uka ska didn't aetk ma. 1 n That waa Jeat at first an', gas, 1 don't blame her. cus, you ess. All tn airls lauthad. an tha boys Oroaned as' mads a klasts' nota With their mouth. But after awhile Uasle aha begin t smile, Nan she five a Mttl quick ' Shora to bar rrtth-me-tlc ford ma. An' there wus about All th' aamplaa. all worked out With th' answers rUthtl Wall. I Copied 'em off Jeat Ilka plat Olris, you know, can always do Leeaona. an' they Ilk 'am tool LI axle had a apple thera. An' when ah had made ma swear Not to tell aha slve m aom An' showed ma whera aha kep' her gum. Say, I'll bet I know what's meant By "cap-plt-tul pun-lsh-ment!" -Cleveland Leader. . Th Way af tha Borrewer. Designers and Manufacturer of THE LATEST lMrilOVED Canning Machinery, Marine Engines and Boilers. Comptete Cannery Outfits Furnished. C0UESPONDENCE SOLICITED.. Foot of Fourth StreeL WeinharcPs; Loner?! 1 v 1 Boer. The MORNING ASTORiAN 75:CTS. PER MONTH Astoria's Best Newspaper Smith I forgot all about that Quar ter I borrowed of you. Jones I know that 8m!tb-Vhy? Jones Been use I haven't been able to meet you on the street slue I 11 you bsv It New York World. A CAMEL'S STOMACH. I Foer Compartmeala It Carrie Watar la Laat m Jearaer. The stomach of a camel Is divided into no less thsn four compartments. and the walla of on of these are lined with large cells, every on of which can be opened and closed at will by mean of powerful muscles. Now, when a camel drinks It drinks very great deal Indeed It goes drinking on for such a very long time that really you would think that It never meant to leave off. But th fact la that It la not only satisfying Its thirst bur Is filling up its cistern aa well On after, another . th cells in Its stomach are filled with water, and aa soon aa each la quit full It la tight ly dosed. Then when th animal be come thirsty a few hours later all that It has to do Is to open on of th calls and allow th water to flow out Kext day It opena on or two more cells, and ao It goes on day after day A Drop la Lltaratare. Once there was sn elevator boy who was quirk to get a (Imp nn a good Idea. Two magazine editors got In bla cage at the top of the skyscraper, and the boy heard them coniplalnlug of the short supply of manuscripts. So the boy at one dropped them eighteen stories. That was all they could ue nntll their next date for coming out But such Is the unreaionablcne of ed Itors they now complained becauae ttiry aid the stories were too high. Judge. BLOOD PURIFYING TABLETS. MAKES IICH IED HOOD, HEALTH AND STtENITH. A BLESSING TO BRAIN WORKERS AND NERVOUS PEOPLE. A rOIITITB CUIUS FOR ECZEMA SCURVY RHEUMATISM NERVOUS DISEASES WEAK LUNfJS CONSTIPATION NERVOUS DYSPEPSIA ERYSIPELAS GOUT TUBERCULOUS BLOOD POISON KIDNEY TROUBLE IRREOELAR rTENSES LIVER TROUBLES. A lodge never dies that could confer die deg.nws of the order Impressively snd without rituals. Learn the charges and learn to deliver them well, and new members will come. Msny mem bers sre sshsmed to solicit candidate! for the reason that the degree cannot be conferred 'upon tbem creditably. Odd Fellows Sifting. Th Odd Fellows of Corning. N. Y., have after msny yesrs of planning bought the Wellington hotel to con vert It Into a handsome temple for th exclusive use of the order. member of Terba Buena lodge of unUl th whol auppJy 1 exhausted. 3",1,rnl do dW recently had been In thia etiriona war a nmoi o.n 11.. n Invalid thirty yesrs. During this five or even six daye without drinking tlmhedr,w D bneflu frm th lodge at all and ao la able to trrl miital "uu m PHENOMENAL PROSPERITY. The Alight bank clearing have in terest beyond the proof they afford of excellent business condition. Thev train The director of the menagerie in ; . ' a a . . . . I Mgnineance in connection with the little Central park, New York, attribute the eea-onable flurry in the money market, comparative decrease in the number of It w encouraging to ham that the na- f-inale4 among the animal under their tion' clearings have not for any month charge to the dcli.-a.-ic which are fed of thi year been so mnall as the maxi- the animals by vi-itor. The cakes, mum for any correpondiiig montli last candies and biwuits given to the animals year. The name is true of the New according to the director theorv. tends York city clearing taken by themselves, to predetermine the m-x of their voun". r.w.rr can um improvement, both The fact that these delicaeie., which the broadly distributed and strictly local, be animals have learned to prefer to the aid 10 nave reached it climax tinier feed given them by their kwper con it shall be checked by a possible mone- tain hydrocarbon, which is held to in tary (.pasm. Every nign point to healthy fluence for male progney, while the old and progressive commercial activity, diet contained more albuminous food and 'the iron mill are refusing orders, and resulted in bringing more female into iron is being imported. It is difficult to the too. exaggerate the crop prospect. The rail way are so gorged with freight that Plan have been completed and the their terminal are choked and they are building is under way for the all-night ordering locomotive and car by thou- bank established s a venture in Xew Snds. lYnrkf-itv. iri, l.... 11 ..... ! ..:. I- ' pj mi tt-riisijr UUIIU ing costing t3.V),000. INEXCUSABLE ACCIDENTS, Eaay Bteaey. are you thinking A suit ha been brouirht acaint a The mistake of the man who is re- lhopital in Hrooklyn to recover dam- gardles of human life that he doe notlsge for the death of two men to whom know what he is shooting at are already a nurse administered carbolic acid, mi bringing their fatal result in the deer taking it for whisky. Trained nurs, hunting sections of the big wood. The sre, to be sure, superior to the old fash man who would not prefer to let a deer ioned type, iut nusi imagine Sn!iv . 'tt. a t I I w tu ma wvriu u iauu get sway without a shot to shooting a Gamp making a mistake like that! -1 Chicago Record-Herald, ellow huntsman is just fit for the idiot I Booton Herald. I easily through th desert, wber th well are often hundreds of mile apart Oatk That Blade the Baraiaa. Terjury having been rife in Rangun court bees use no form of oath exist ed which the Bunnan considered bind ing, the government prescribed a form ula which la a queer admixture of Buddhism, Brahmlnlsm and Shaman ism. Her are phrases from it, picked at random: "If an untruth passes my Hps, may all th gnats that live In lakes, ponds and brooks and the gnats of th fir great rivers of India destroy ma May curdled blood pass my lips rather than a 11a, and may I die vomiting blood, my body bent la two." Rangun Gazette. A Caartle Retort, Prince Herbert Bismarck bad th rep- station of having a decidedly brusque Banner In society. Once at a royal re ception be bumped roughly against an Italian prelate, who looked at him in dignantly. "You evidently don't know who I am," said the German prince I haughtily. "I am Herbert Bismarck." "Oh," answered tb prelate, "If that doesn't amount to an apology It la cer tainly a perfect explanation!" There are 270 orphan children cared for by Odd Fellowa In Pennsylvania. The late James P. Sanders, psst grand sire, bequeathed his Odd Fel lows library to Peeksvllle lodge. Th grand secretary of Maryland re jwrt 118 lodges In tb Jurisdiction, with a membership of 8,203. Amount paid out for relief during the past year, 139,065.46. Willingness Is th great requirement that Is needed by each Individual to make th lodge successful and prosper ous. Official certificates should be used In very Instance when a receipt is given or required for dues, degrees or as sessments. SA-MU-LAH tablets are compounded from the essence of rare East Indian Plants, and are the perfected result of over ao years of medical research. SA HU-LAri acts promptly on the Lungs, Liver and Kidneys. These organs are directly responsible for the condition of the blood. SA-MU-LAH Is a blood purifying medicine put tip in tablet form, and contains nothing of an injurious nature. They are invaluable in caws of specific febrile disorders where the blood has a large excels of febrine or uric acid. Every disease or disorder that flesh is heir to can be traced to Impure Blood. SA-MU-LAH has helped thousands of sufferers. It can help you,, ED EC Saaipte aetata al S A-WU-L Art taMal alll a MM fraa I a aay r i ta Baa peraaa wrtttag aa aaclaalag at la savar mi at smlaga. ON SALE AT PRINCIPAL DRUOOISTI. PRICE PER BOX CONf AIN1NO 23 TABLETS. 50 CENTS. If your dealer cannot supply yon, send price and order to POWELL DRUG & CHEMICAL CO., 140 NASSAU ST., NIW YORK. RED MEN. it t ef latereat Ceaeeralaa- PrateraKy. During the psst term In Maine twen ty-slx tribes and aeven councils of the degree of Pocahon'jis bav been In stituted. On of th most active tribes la III! not la Mobasta of Athens. It bus adopted nearly 100 paleface since Isst traveling moon. Sine th first of th yesr th Massa chusetts reservation has gained many new tribes, and there baa been a aplen- T Make Bee Tara. Mrs. Fondmar Doctor, my daughter tfl1 aTowth in membership. sits and gazes Into that mirror for hours at a time. I can't get her to take exercise. Dr. Bruff-WelL I pre scribe another mirror at th other end of th room. Chicago Journal. so hard "What aboutr "I waa Jost trying to figure out the percentage of rich people there would b In th world If fault finding paid."-1 A new wigwam will be erected In East fit Louis, 111., In which all the tribe In th city may fled accommo dations. There are about 200 members of the order In Hawaii and a council of the degree of Pocahontas. Beyaaa Reaaaa. There b two Individuals who cannot b reasoned with a girl in lov and a man who la determined to run for an office New Orleana Plcaynn. M.4- Dangers of Defective Plumbing. Dcfectivs plumbing permits the entranc Into the bouie of sewer f ti bearing germs of contagious diiojci to which the hosiaa sys tem readily succumbs. Sewer gat b not neceuanly generated In the sewer, but Is frequently crested In the plumb. ing lyitem within the home and enters the apartments through defective fixture. If In doubt, conrult ui regarding the piping and replacing defective fixtures with , "Stasdanf Porcelain Enameled Ware acknowledged m the beit sanitary equipment. J. A. Montgomery, Astoria - w V II ! J A la. T A r MIA r a wk. -. -k . . - . S my as i uk I A FKUUUCT S Pale Bohemian I'ecr Best la The Northwest 'A North Pacific Brewing Co. kWiVi'iivvw'vb.u.-.. ... ...... ........... , Sherman Transier Co. M SHERMAN, Onager HacksCarriages-Baggage Checked and Transferred-Trucks and Fur niture V agons-pianos Moved, Boxed and Shipped. 433 Commercial Street Phnn Main ii w . 1 a " w tisaa a ah at