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About The morning Astorian. (Astoria, Or.) 1899-1930 | View Entire Issue (May 31, 1905)
TIIE MORNING ASTORIAN, ASTORIA, OREGON. WtDNISDAY, MAY 31, 1908. 7JS? Mr. Bowser's I Simple Life He Reads Charles Wagner's Bool i' and Becomes an Imme diate Convert CUTS OUT RICH FARE Dines oq Sage Tea and Bread and i Milk, Stop Smoking and Dom Old Ootho. to Wife' Disgust ! '. Copyright. 15. by T. C McClure. 1 MRS. BOWSER hod planned with the cook to get up an extra good dinner for Mr. Bowser and when he bad eaten It to suggest the theater, and she was ou the watch for him as be arrived home. Bhe was hoping that nothing might hare occurred during the day to put him out. but be bad scarcely opened the door when she saw that he was "off" about something. "Is your cough worse?" she asked as the belied him off witS his overcoats "No, dear," was his gentle reply. "And did you have any trouble with anybody ou the street car?" "Xot the slightest" "You you "I am perfectly all right dear, but I will ask you to excuse me for a mo ment while I change my clothes. Jt ,wont take me long." It wasn't snowing or raining, and she saw no reason for a change, but she said nothing and went down to the dining room to see that everything jwas cheerful there. In seven or eight "TODAY I WAS HAXDED THE BIOTLX LIF,' BY CBABLSS WACiSEB." minutes Mr. Bowser came down. He had changed into the oldest suit be could find an old suit be put on now and then when be puttered about the cellar with hammer and saw. Before she could express ber amazement he 'looked the table over, sniffed at the odor from. the kitchen and said: ;i "My dear, if yon will kindly remove ; .what you have prepared for dinner I , will tell you what I want and wait until It Is prepared." "But I've got fried Maryland chicken and you always lore that" "Yes, I bare always thought It one of the best dishes, but kindly remove If "And I have baked sweet potatoes and corn fritters." ! "It was thoughtful of you, and I i thank you very much, but If you will ; set them aside I will be much obliged." "You must be ill If you have lost : your appetite," she said as she looked . at him. "I am not 111. and I have not lost my appetite. Having set the things aside and the coffee with them, you may bave the cook prepare us some sage tea, and. two. bowlsoflbregl and. milk. BUSINESS COLLEGES. Park and Washington, Portland, Oregon The School of Quality" MODERN, PRACTICAL, COMPLETE Open all the year. Catalogue Irec A. P. ARMSTRONG LL. B., PRINCIPAL Students May Enter at Any Time. BUSINESS In this age of keen competition a Business Education is an indispensable adjunct to '.he ambitious young man or young woman who wishes to succeed In business life. We have the reputa tion of being the LEADING BUSINESS COLLEGE ON THE PACIFIC COAST. OUR GRADUATES ARE ALL EM PLOYED Our teachers are all prac tical men and ppclallsts In their par ticular lines. If you are thinking of attending Business College you cannot afford to Ignore the , BchtikerWalker Business College. StearnsBtiilding, Portland, Oregon. 'I 1 IM JSue TviTl liud a package oTittge fiT uiy overcoat pocket" Mrs. Bowser looked at him In won der and perplexity, but she asked no further questlous. The sage tea was prepared and the bread and milk placed on the table, but she did not touch either one. Mr. Bowser, howev er, ate and drank with seeming hearti ness aud enjoyment speaking of tbe weather and other subjects In a rery mild voice, and when he had concluded his meal be said: "Mrs. Bowser, I do not wish to ap pear eccentric In your eyes, and If yo,u will follow me up to the sitting room I shall be pleased to explain matters." "I hope to gracious you will," she re plied, "for I can't make out what has come over you. The Idea of your pre ferring bread and milk to fried Mary land chicken !" When they reached the Bitting room he did not light his cigar, as usual, but In place of It chewed away at a piece of licorice for two or three minutes be fore saying: 'Today I was handed The Simple Life,' by Charles Wagner. Perhaps you bave heard of Itr Tea," "It made an Immediate Impression on me. I saw that we had been wrong all these years, and within an hour I had determined upon reform." "How have we been wrong H asked Mrs. Bowser. "In a hundred different ways, but principally in our extravagant way of living and dressing. We could have taken far more comfort had we lived on pork and beans and dressed In homespun." That's all nonsense! We have lived just Ilka any other family with our In come, I was thinking It waa about time you picked up another fad." "My dear Mrs. Bowser, there is no call for strenuousness. We have made a mistake there as well Heretofore, when you bave referred to my fads, I have turned red in the face and flour ished my arms and shouted. Do you observe anything of the sort bow? I am coot I am calm. I am not using up my nerve force. Let me recom mend you to adopt the same pro gramme. Nothing whatever that you can say will put me out of temper." "But what are yon going to dot" "Simply follow Mr. Wagner and lire a simple, healthy life. In other words, I am going to cut off all the frills and flounces." ' "Are you going to give up smoking r "I have already done so. It is sim ply a waste of money and a pernicious habit After this I shall chew on a piece of licorice root or bold a clove In my mouth." "And you are going to live on bread and milk and drink sage teaf "Xot altogether. Sometimes we will have pudding and milk and now and then potatoes and codfish. It will be slnfple, healthy fare, however, and we shall both live the longer and be the healthier for It I hope you will be with me in this matter, my dear." "But I shan't If you want to live a simple life, go ahead, but don't drag me into It I don't propose to starve myself to death for Charles Wagner or Charles anybody else." Mr. Bowser started to turn red and open bis mouth to shout "Woman!" at her, but caught himself In time and said: "Kindly modulate your voice, dar ling. Tbe tone you use grates on me. I do not ask you to go with me. If It is your desire to continue this mad and extravagant whirl go ahead In it As for me, I bave made a start and shall continue it" "And you'll quit smoking?" "I will!" "And wear that old suit of clothes around?" "Tbe same. It is plenty good enough for a simple man." , "And you are going to live like a man earning a dollar a day?" "My food will be simple, but nutri tious." "And you'll give up all your clubs and not make any more speeches, and you won't want to run for political officer "I shall be as unknown as John Doe." "I-I did think of going to tbe play tonight" said Mrs. Bowser, after a pause. "Your simple life needn't stop our going to the theater, need It?" "That is an extravagance to be curbed. It is not only an extrava gance, but the play gives one a false Impression of life. Instead of tbe the ater we shall sit at home and take up and pursue some simple study. We know nothing whatever of botany and we are almost as bad In natural history. Here is a houKe fly flying around. What more interesting thing than to ascertain how be flies, what he eats, for what purpose he was created and all about blra?" "I say it's all nonsense!" exclaimed Mrs. Bowser as she rose up. "If I should play tbe Idiot the way you do you'd have me pronounced crazy and locked up!" It was a bard fling at Mr. Bowser and one Intended to provoke him to anger and action, and the family cat came out from under tbe lounge and got ready to see the fur fly. The fur didn't fly, however. Mr. Bowser turn ed pale for a moment, but then got a new hold and smilingly said: "Darling, this tulug may seem all wrong to you now, but time will tell. Live your life as you will, but allow me to do the same. I have decided to drop the mad whirl for simplicity and peace. Will you kindly excuse me for a few minuses while I run out aud get some cornmeal for breakfast? I shall eat nothing but a little cornmeal cook ed In the plainest kind of water." no put ou hU hat and overcoat and went out and left Mr. Bowser and ilieTaf fcltuTiij; i7VV;iC"U oiliof lUiTT w"uu dortug If he con!d be lu earnest lie certainly was. Kwn wheu a crowd of bnd buys hailed hi) adreut on the stiwt with a shower of suowballa be meekly aud smilingly pursued Ills simple way In search of his simple breakfast While he was purciutslug It nud explaining to the grocer that it was not food for hens or geese, but for a mau who had dropicd the nmd whirl, Mrs. Bowser was saying to the cook : "Mr. IKnvivr wuuts some corutneal rooked In water fr hi breakfast Yoa cau use most any kind of water uud cook In auy old dish, and If you rtirow In a few buttons nud i-Utlu;ln be won't complain. He's going lo live a simple life after this." M. QUAD. Larky Do. CoollyMiss Frosty treats mo like a dog. Reggie Well, she's very affectionate toward her dog, I know.-St Louis Post-Dispatch. A Good Ra. Miss Flyn Is Ethel a domestic suc cess? Miss Bly-I should say so! She has had three husbands. Detroit Pre Press. Celared for Action. When the body is cleared for action, by Dr. King's New Life Pills, you can tell It by the bloom of health on the cheeks; the brightness of the eye; the firmness oC the flesh and muscles; the buoyancy f the mind. Try them. At Chas. Rotrers' drug store. 25 cents. For Porch and Summer Home Bambdo Furniture .gives that refreshing touch to the weary and tired person. Settees, Roman Chain, Hall racks, etc etc.. Step In and ex amine the line. Did you buy that Chocolate set yet? Yokohama Bazar GKlCoramerclal Street Astorl Headline WeeR AT THE wSTAR nil the Latest Attractions From the Best Theaters Week Beginning May 29. Matinee Dally at 2:43 P. M. GERMAINE BROS America's Greatest Acrobats MONTGOMERY & CANTOR Ragtime Monarchs BURTON BELL RINGERS Melody Made From Metal A. J. ELWELL Pictured Melodies "Always in the Way" Twn, Tom, the Piper's Son EDISON'S PROJECTOSCOPE Clown fc'l.ln'y Admission, Any Seat, 10 cents. I WE WANT TO DOUBLE OUR SUBSCRIPTION LIST. THE "HOW" OF IT WILL INTEREST EVERYBODY, WHETHER THEY NOW READ THE PAPER OR NOT. WE ARE GOING TO MAKE THE MORNING ASTORIAN THE BEST NEWSPAPER PUBLISHED IN ANY CITY OF ITS SIZE.. WILL YOU HELP US? TELEPHONE MAIN 661 and I WILL CALL AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT. Eril field Advertising and Circula i tion Marker, ThJE MORNING A8TORIAN. '. S. if- you live out of town write fr our pl(n. EMPLOYMENT OFFICES. MAX STUAEL A CO.. EMPLOYMENT offlee. CSS Bond St. Phone Bed 2301. All kinds of help f jrnlshed on short notice. Call or phone. HELP WANTED. HOT WANTED TO WORK IN printing office. Apply at Astorlan office. . WANTED M EN AND WOMEN TO learn watchmaking, engraving, Jew eler's work; only practical working school for Jewelers; money made learning. Seattle Watchmaking ft En graving school, P. L Illdg., Seattl!-. WANTED ENERGETIC, TIU'ST worthy man or woman to work In Oiegon, representing lurge manufac turing company; salary, 140 to 190 per month, paid weekly; expiisos ad vanced. Address, with stamp, J. H. Moore. Astoria, Ore. 8UTUATIONS WANTED. SITUATION WANTED AS FIREMAN Address'R. D.. As'.orlun Office. GIRL WANTS POSITION AS WAIT- r?ss In hotel or restaurant. Addrevs J. R.. Aslortan Offlee. HOUSES WANTED. HOUSE OF I OR I ROOMS WANT el In good neighborhood. Convent' ent to center of town; rent reasonable i permanent Address Em 11 Held, car The Astorlan. , FOR RENTROOMS. FOR RENT LAKUK FRONT ROOM; fire and electric light: finest view lu city. Addrexs C. A., Atorlan. ROOMS WANTED. WANTED S rooms for OR I FURNISHED Housekeeping in gooa,or Bn Lim(i 0 electrical Instsllina and neighborhood. AJdress.Astorian office. MISCELLANEOUS. WANTED AT GASTON'S PKE1 stables, No. 105 14th St., Wool mo hair, hides and furs. FOR 8ALE MISCELLANEOUS. FOR SALE HIGH COUNTER, about 8 ftet long. Apply at Astor lan office. FOR SALE SECOND-HAND 7 COL umn newspaper outfit: complete ex cept prtss; cheap. Inquire. at thla of flee. INCUBATOR FOR 8ALE 400 EOOS capacity; also three 100 capacity brooders; first-class condition. Ad dress A. Astorlan Offl. OLD PAPERS FOR BALE AT THIS Office: lie per hundred. BIDS WANTED. BIDS WILL BE RECEIVED FOR UP- per structure of the new Si. Mary's hospital; plans and specifications can be seen at the office of the architect at St. Mary's hospital; all bids to be In on or before May 31; right Is reserved to reject any or all bids. ELECTRIC BARBERS, THE VIBRATOR METHOD OF APPLYING ELECTRI CITY. With our Electric Radiator we apply It to the head or face. A shave and face massage with the new apparatus, 50 cents. Scalp treatm"nt, 25 cents. Five expert barbers. Porcelain baths. All at the Ocoident Barber Shop, Occi dent Hotel Bldg., A. E. Peterson, Prop. MANICURING. DO NOT ENVY Your friend's beauty.. Come in and let us tell you how we bresutify the fsce by electricity.. HAIR DRES3ING foi all occasions. Our famous Face Cream and Lotions aid you at your home to obtain excel lent results. Call at the Beauty Par lor of Mrs. Martha C. Peterson, Facial Electrician, Manicuring anJ Massage No. 543 Duane St., Astoria. REAL ESTATE. HERMOSA PARK LOTS, THE MOST exclusive property at Seaside, Ore. Facing the Pacific ocean In Oregon's prettiest summer resort, these lots are a good Investment at 3150 to $350 each. Inspection Invited. A. Gilbert, Jr. Seaside, Ore. SINGING. Voice Culture And Singing Instructions. Individual or class Instructions. Special terms to classes of three pupils, entering to gether. Private Instruction at reason able rates. MRS. R. E. PASLAT, No. 677 Exchange St., Phone Red 2054 Situations Wanted Advertisements Twice Without Charge. . I ONE FIRM HAD THREE $ Answers lo a Help Wanted Ad vertUomwut lu One Day. Answers J were in before noon. One jP&M cant got the Job, a clerkship1 In a Oroopry Store. Quick Item Its ire J Obtsintd by Advertising In th Wswt J J Culumni of Th Morning; Aitorlsn. J J DAILY 7000 READERS i: BUSINESS DIRECTORY BROKERAGE. C. J. TUENCHARI) Real Estate, Insurance, Cemmlsslen and Shipping. CUSTOM HOUSE BROKER. Office 133 Ninth 8treet Neat te Justice Office. ASTORIA, OREGON. BILLIARD HALLS. Occident Hotel Bar SL Billiard Hall. Tables New and Everything First Class. Fincit brands of Liquors and Cigars ELECTRICIANS Makes sttimstes and sxeeutes orders repairing. Supplies In Stock. We sell the celebrated SHELBY LAMP, H. W. Cyrus, Manager 423 BONO ST, PHONE 1161 A LAUNDRIES. The Troy Laundry The only white labor laundry in the city. Does the bett work at reasonable prices and Is in every wsy worthy of your patronsge. 10th and DUANE Sts., Phone 1991. MILK DEALERS. FRESH MILK from good, clean, healthy cows. EITHER MORNING or NIGHT deliv ery. THE 8LOOP-JEFFERS CO, 10th anl Dunne streets. 1 ! MEAT MARKETS. FRESH AND CURED MEATS Wlioleniilesnd lUUill Ships, Logging Camps and Mills Sup' plied on 8hoit Notice. Live Stock Bought and Sold. WASHINGTON MARKET CHRI8TENSEN & CO. Central Meat Market G- W. Morton & Jno. Fuhrman, Prop's. CHOICEST FRESH AND SALT MEATS-PRoMPT DELIVERY, 542 Commercial 8t, Phone Main 321 RESTAURANT8. Stop On Your Way To Portland or Seaside opposite the depot and eat at THE FLAO OTSTER AND CHOP HOUSE. Good mealsi prompt service. Save money, time and trouble by gettin all kinds of fruit and canned goods hers for your trip. FIRST-CLASS MEAL for 15c; nice cake, coffee, pie, or doughnuts, 5c, at U. S. Restaur ant. 434 Rnurl St BEST 15 CENT MEAL. You can always find the best 15-centmoa1in the city at the Rising Sun Restaurant. 612 Commercial St. lie lira l Inserted HOTELS. HOTEL PORTLAND PORTLAND, ORE. Finest Hotel In (he Northwest BAY VIEW HOTEL r . 0 LASER, Prop. Jome Cooking, Ceadortsbls Bsdi, fjuton ' sM Ititai and Nke Trsstmsai The Tired Traveler Is ever happy to find a comfortable stopping place. Where to put up Is the prevalent question after a long Jour ney, Teu can solve the problem lu Astoria by going to the PARKER HOUSE Whose genial host, Mr. T. J. Droem ser. It an experienced hotel man and who on. April I took charge of this popular hostelry and has Inaugurated a new feature to the house by opening the dining room In connection with the hotel and Is now able to give his pat rons board and lodgings, the best la Astoria, for It and Sl.Sft per day. Bat Uractlon guaranteed. Rooms at J 5, to, 75 and ft. Free 'buss to and from the hotel. J. T. BROEMSER. BLACKSMITH. ANDREW - ASP, Blacksmith, Having Imtalled a Rubber Tiring Msehine of the lateet pattern I am prepared to do all kinds of work at resionable prices. 12th and Duane Sts. IRON WORtfS. SCOW BAY IRON and BRASS WORKS Manufacturers of Iron, HteU ltriss end Promo Casting. tl'iierul I-Vundrynien nnd Pnf ttiiiiukers. Ab.lu'ely first class work. Lotvrst prices. Phone 2451. 18th and Franklin. WOOD YARDS. WOOD! WOOD! WCOD! Cord wood, mill weed, bex weed, any kind of weed at lowest prieea, Kelly, the transfer man. 'Phone 2211 llaefc, am en Twelfth, opposite spera heuee. PROFESSIONAL CARDS. PHYSICIANS. JAY TUTTLE, M. D. , PHYSICIAN AND 8UUQEON Acting Awlmstit Burgeon U.S. Marl ue Ho..IUil Ht-rvloe. Jfflce hours: 10 to II a.m. 1 to 4:10 p.ta 477 Commercial Street. Ind Floor. OSTEOPATHISTS. lt. EhoUn C. Hlclm. r. J, stiyder OSTEOPATHS. Ortloe Mimsoll Hid. Phone Rlack 2065 173 Commercial St., Astoria, Ore. DENTI8T8. DR. T. L. BALL, DENTIST. 024 Commercial 8t Astoria, Oreson. Dr. VAUGIIAN, Dkxtiht Pythian Building, Astoria, Oregon. Dr. W. C. LOGAN DENTIST 578 Commercial St., Bhanahan Building SEND IN YOUR NAME NOW FOR THE MORNING ASTORIAN v h