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About Lincoln County leader. (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987 | View Entire Issue (April 10, 1903)
A Pessimist. Bev. Thomas B. Slicer, during a, re cent discussion with a friend, asked him if be knew the definition ot a pes simist. "Of course," replied his friend, "he is one who is sore on himself and the world in general. Is not that your definition?" "Hardly," replied Dr. Slicer. "A pessimist, in my opinion, is a man who has just left an optimist." New York Times. THE DEAREST GIFT. POPE LEO XIII., WHO RECENTLY CkltBRATED THE SILVER JUBILEE OE HIS PONTIFICATE. When all the dancing feet are still, The rose's bloom is shed and spend. When she has waltzed her happy fill With Will and Jack and Ted and Fred, . Tired of the whirl and jollity. Her lovely eyes weighed down with sleep, Then, at the last, she comes to me. And she is all my own to keep! I find her gloves and tie her wrap, We say our good nights left and right; Now I'm the to-be-envied chap! Ah, now, indeed, it is good night! Of lover's joy let wooers prate; What could a man aek more in life, Than this best, dearest gift of fate To have a sweetheart for a wife? Smart Set. JOHN POOLE, PORTLAND, ORE. Foot of Morrison Street. Can give you the best bargain s In Boilers and Engines, Windmills, Pumps and Gene ral Machinery. Wood Sawing Machines a specialty. See us before buying. CHANGE OF LIFE. JOHN'S TEST. UT, Millicent, can't you see that Jq er mar. i love you as no uiuu J has ever loved before?" The black eyes glowed with suppressed ar dor. "Inferring that no man ever has loved poor little Millicent Bigelow be fore. And, to tell the truth, John, that's just what's the matter that be fore a certain tieiiniie point iu my tins no mole creature ever deigned to cast a glance at my insignificance, that be fore Aunt Mary Invited me to spend a month with her iu New York and sent me home with a carload of trunks, con taining nothing but wearing apparel, expressly designed and manufactured by New York and Paris modistes to set forth and enhance my previously undiscovered beauty, that before I came home and lost all my girl friends out of jealousy for my better clothes, men were not In the habit of tumbling nil over themselves to tell me twenty times a day that they loved me." She smiled irovoklngly at the look of genuine astonishment that her sud den outburst had brought to the sen sitively lined masculine face before her. 1 "And now, you, whom I considered my best friend, have become as non sensical ns any of them. It Is true you have said the apparently enticing words but once, and stumbled over them at that, by the way, but, con sidering that we have just arrived at the picnic grounds and that presently I shall ask you to take me out In a canoe on the lake, and expect you to ask me to go with you again after lunch, I doubt not that by the twen tieth time you will become as fluent as the others." "Millie, I can't deny that I shall probably keep on repeating the ques tion until I get the one answer that will Ratlsfy me, but when you accuse mo of wanting to marry you because you may have more or less worthless tlnery on, it's beyond" "John Atwood, I don't know what you designate as cheap finery, but I would have you know that this gown, as well as the boa which adorus my shoulders, was a special present from auntie and Imported direct from Paris." The ruflled feelings sought consolation In rearranging the fluffy creation of lace and artificial flowers that composed the neckwear in ques tion. "You understand what I ineont, Mil licent 1 can't say you don't look nice in that thing a round your neck, but I liked you Just as well In the brown dress that you used to wear with brown ribbons, and then you used to let me put my arms around you." An Indignant shoulder turned in his direction was the only answer. "Hut won't" you please hurry and aRk me to take you out on the lake, as you said you would, before I do the asking and offend you again." The limiting face, half hidden behind the white parasol, looked almost as though about to refuse to go out on the lake altogether, but John pulled up a canoe and quietly began arrang ing the cushions. When he had fin ished, a figure behind a parasol stepped in and settled down among them. Nothing was said until they had proceeded nearly across the lake and were skirting along the opposite shore. Then as John was paddling 'Idly, watching a reflection In the water, n voice suddenly demanded that he turn aside and enter an opening that the shore made at this point and through which could be seen a small pool of water thickly studded with the white blossoms of the water lilies. Without hesitation John turned the nose of the canoe In the direction In dlcated and paddled up to the point of entering, when he noticed that the water In the Inclosed space was very shallow and covered a surface of dark looking mud. He stopped progress and waited for the owner of the voice to observe the state of affairs, but the voice vouch safed nothing but an Impatient com inond to continue. Then he spoke In a turn committal voice of the advisabili ty of entering where there was In Htiiuclcnt water to allow paddling. Hut the flowers gleamed white In the sun light and a scornful ripple of laughter was his answer. Manlike, he gave la to woinau's ' , ' ' Pope Leo XIII., who recently celebrated the silver jubilee of his pontifi cate, was born at Carpineto, Italy, March 2, 1810. He Is the son of Count Louis Tecci and was baptized by the names of Vincenzo and Gioacchlno. He was ordained In 1837, was made bishop In 1846, proclaimed a cardinal in 1833, and was elected Pope Feb. 20, 1878. He was crowned on March 3 following. whim and pushed the boat into the midst of the lilies. He reaped a reward In the lowering of the parasol and a companionable face smiled upon him os the owner proceeded to tuck up the ruffles preparatory to plucking from the water the brown-stemmed lilies. But even before the first flower was obtained the catastrophe happened. A great, ugly-looking green dragon fly rose loudly buzzing from the flow ers, directly under the Bide of the boat, and, perceiving the gently sway ing flufflness above the canoe, and per haps deceived into thinking It a new mass of bloom yet unexplored, dived at once In its direction and succeeded in alighting with a moment's dispatch directly under a pink chin, with the rough wings brushing a dimpled throat. It was all over In a minute. A startled cry of feminine terror, a panic stricken spring for the other side of the cauoe, and John found himself knee-deep In black, slimy mud, with a bedraggled and dripping little figure weeping hysterically upon his shoul der, and an overturned canoe within his reach. It was then he saw his chance. "Mil licent, stop your crying. I never saw a worse looking creature in my life," A white face of astonishment turned up to his. "And, for heaven's sake, take off that block, oozy thing around your neck." Unconsciously a muddy fist stole up and dragged off the cling ing mass of slime and dropped It with a shudder. "Now, Millicent, will you marry me?" Not till then did the face show any comprehension of the words being spoken. Theu a flash of color appeared under the streaks of black and a quer ulous little sob escaped from the trembling lips as, burying her face again on the wet. heaving chest, she answered, sofely, "Yes, John!" Phlla delphla Item. foxy old darky made literally thou sands or dollars out of his dodge be fore he was nailed. He Dassed the word around among the Ignorant ne gro men that he had a consignment of charms, in the shape of small nieces of bone, that would come pretty near making their purchasers bosses of ev erything In sight. The owner and wearer of one of his bone charms, he announced, would be rendered com pletely Invisible to human eyes. Well, you can readily imagine how a charm like that would take down in a coun try where yeller-legged chickens are thlcker'n bees, and where watermel ons Just pop out of the soil out of their own volition. The ignorant' blncks fell to those little bone charms nil In a bunch, and they dug up from o to apiece for the things at that. "They absolutely and implicitly be lieved that the wearing of the charms would render them invisible, and for months the darkies down our way provided with these charms have been attempting to help themselves to all sorts of things that didn't belong to them, right in the presence of the own ers of the property, and in broad day light, under the belief that their charms screened them from the vision of men. It took a long time, and not a little buckshot, to convince them that their bono charms didn't amount to much, and then they came to the front with the story of how they had got hold of the charms." Washington Post. BOUGHT MAGIC BONES. Florida Negroes Peeking Invisibility Kenlized that They Were Keen. "For a good many years," said a Florida man, who was up this way recently, "we have been familiar in the far South with the schemes which de signing negroes with the money-making Instinct have been working upon their ignorant fellows to coax the coin from their clothes. I'd hate to say how many thousands of dollars the more Ignorant negroes of Florida alone give up every year for concoctions, manufactured out of nothing worth while by the crafty negroes, for 'whit ening their skins.' Then there are tho multitudinous lotions or ointments or whatever you call them on sole by foxy negroes down our way for 'taking the kluk out of wooly hair on negroes' heads. Colored women, cspeoltlly the younger ones, fall victims to this kind of stuff for all of their spare change, and there are plenty of young black bloods who eagerly give up J3 and even 1 10 for fake contraptions that are al leged to be designed to make their noses aquiline Instead of flat. "But an ancient black schemer was put away down In Florida not long ago for springing nnd successfully working an entirely new oue. The Satisfied His Curiosity. The curiosity of the natives of wll.l countries as to everything belonzlnir to the traveler often leads to amusing situations. J. W. Wells tells, in "Three Thousand Miles Throuch Brazil." of his visit to one settlement where the only shopkeeper of the place proved very Inquisitive. He was a freonent visitor, nnd would carefully examine ,Un 1 . ..I 1 - . , . T mi- ir ui-iuMKiugH oi me traveler. Ills curiosity was Anally punished in a very funny manner. On one of his vltls, writes Mr. Wells, he found my bottle of spirits of ammo nia on the table, and seeing It was something he had not hitherto inspect ed, lie naturally laid hold of It, and asked of me, "What Is this?" "Only a nn dlelne," I replied; and with a perhaps unworthy satisfaction I watched him hold It up to the light, look at it all round, and finally remove the glass stopper and theu take a good sniff. I had to rush forward to save my precious ammonia, as he staggered and gasped for breath, and ejoculoted, "I am dying!" By dint of much slapping of his back and dousing of cold water, he quickly recovered; but nevermore did he touch any of my things. She Struck an Average. Husband I'm surprised at you, Maria! How could you have the face to tell the Judge you were 24 when you were 48 last month? Wife well, dear, I told him the truth. I gave my average ago. Toron to Moon. We wish we knew a wooden legged man well enough to ask If he takes his leg off when he goes to bed. Some sensible advice to women passing through this trying period. The painful and annoying symp toms experienced by most women at this period of life are easily over come by Lydia E. Pinkliam's Vegetable Compound. It is espe cially designed to meet the needs of woman's system at the trying time. of change of life. It is no exaggeration to state that Mrs. Pinkham has over 6000 letters like the following proving the great value of her medicine at such times. " I wish to thank Mrs. Pinkham for what her medicine has done for me. My trouble was change of life. Four years ago my health began to fail, my head began to grow dizzy, my eyes pained me, and at times it seemed as if my back would fail me, had terrible pains across the kidneys. Hot flashes were very frequent and trying. A friend advised me to try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound. I have taken six bottles of it and am to-day free from those troubles. I cannot speak in high enough terms of the medicine. I recommend it to all and wish every suffering woman would (rive it a trial." Bella Ross, 88 Mont clair Ave., Roslindale, Mass. fsooo for feit If original of about litter proving gonulnmeta cannot tn proauctd. Strange Case. A woman has sued for divorce be cause her husband "gives too much at tention to the church." This will puzzle a lot of women who heretofore thought they knew something about man. , TWO REASONS. No One Need Neglect Their Teeth Any More No Pain, Small Cost. The two great reasons why people used to neglect their teeth were: Fear of being hurt, and the expense. When you come to think it over now, it is truly remarkable what a revolu tion has taken place in modern dental methods. Wise Brotheis, the famous Portland dentists, are among the fore most in the United States in this re spect. Their announcements that there is not a particle of pain connected with any dental work done in their office is literally true. And it is also literally true that every person who goeB to these dentists is greatly surprised at the small cost of having the teeth put in fine older. A whole set of teeth now costs less than some time ago it cost to have one pulled or filled. There is no excuse whatever for anyone to ne glect his, rr her, teeth. Even the man or woman receiving the lowest wages paid in this Northwest can well afford to have the teeth looked after and be gin to enjoy life. Again, a word about the children. When a young person has second teeth, fathers and mothers should see to it that their eon or daughter goes to the dentist and has the teeth examined. Oftentimes ju.t a little work before it is too late eaves the teeth pure and beautiful for a lifetime. Take time by the forelock and consult Wise Brothers, Failing Building, Portland, Oregon. Mike's Poodle. Hogan An' is he ' a blooded dog, Mike? "Blooded? I sh'd say he wuz. W'y, when he wni a , pup th' doc had ter bleed him to kape him from bein a blood hound, faith!" If You Don't Know How much different a can of Monopole peaches or pears or corn or other vari ety of fruits and vegetables taste from the ordinary brands we hope you will instruct your dealer In of Monopole today. We know Mono- iium urana is Deiter tnan any other be cause we have comnared thorn ut. I m'w TV t kU all other so-called high class ones. ' Most dealers handle Monopole goods. If yours doesn't send us his name, WadhamsA Kerr Bros., Monopole Grocers and lirv i!oftV kmaiar. m. u.. 85 Front street, Portland, Ore. His Load With Him. ( De Tanqne Guzzler says he doesn't believe in carrying other rwnnla'. h.,.. m vfsv m uur dens. O'Soaque No wonder; he Is gener ally carrying a nrettv cood own. Philadelphia Record. CUHtS WnlHr. AU USTFAILS. "'KU Drup. 1 Mil uood. in time. Hold p rtromrlata. I WANT TO BUY FOR CASH Chicken, Duck and Geese feath ers.. Address O. O. SMITH. 10th mnd Davlm8t:,Portland,Oi Austin Well Machinery ' FOR Oil or Water any Depth. Write tor catalogue. BEALL & CO., Oen'I Agts. 813 Commer cial Block PORTLAND, 0REQ0N. 2IO Kinds for 16c. ItlaafacttbatBalzer'aseedsare found In more gardens ana on morerarms than fitly otner in America. There Is reason for this. We own and 00- erate ovsr 6000 acres for the produc tion of our choice seeds. In order to , Induce you to try them wemake, the following unprecedented ofler.i For IB Cents Postpaid SB i.ru woaaarr ai eaiess, 8e aarta elagaat cabbage, 1 A aarta atafn IflMat earrota, SSpaarleae l.ttaee varlatiaa, 26 rara laaelou radlifc, SO plMdid baat aarta. It (lariaualj baaullfaj l.w.r aaaia. in an 210 Kinds positively rnmlBhlnit bushelaof cliaxmlnif tlowera and lota audlot of choice vexetablea, toReia.. er wun our great catalogue telling au about Macaroni Wheat. Hlllloa lnl. lar Oraaa. Teoelnte. Bromua. Rneltr.' vnloa eeed at hat SOe. a pownd. JOHN A. SALZER SEED CO La urotte, wis. m m AMERICAN CREAM SEPARATORS Are sold subject to ap proval and at a price that will enable ypu to make a good profit on a few cows. The cleanest, fairest ma chine in all the vorld. Strongest In ALL these points that', any other, viz: Close Skimming. Easy Cleans, g. Light Running. Durability. Write for free catalogue. MITCHELL, LEWIS & STAYER 1 0. PORTLAND, Ore. SPOKANE, Wash. BOISE, Idaho Won Medal, Paris, 1900. DR. G. BEE WO WONDERFUL HOME TREATMENT This wonderful Chi nese doctor Is called great becaune he cures people without opera tion that are given up to die. He cures with moie wonderful Chi ri ' herbs, roots, buds. ?4 barks and vriL.hlM that are entirely un known la mMlK.I .fiL. enoeln this country. Through the uaeoflbone harmless remedies this famous doctor knows the action of over 609 different remedies, which he successfully uses Iu different diseases. Hs guarantees to cure raiarrh. asthma, lung, throat, rheumatism, nervousness, stomach, liver, kidneys, etc.: bas hundreds of testimon ials. Charges moderate. Call and see him. l'allents out of the city write for blanks and circulars. Bend 4 cents In stamps. COM BUI TATION l-KUK. ADDHKUS THE C. EEE WO CHINESE MEDICINE CO. Third St., Portland, Oregon. SrsTMentlou paper. lazy Lauor JIJl iT!L4ftf wnbled st treat deal T' f-.orI,l liver, which produces eonstlpa ;ion I found CASCARETS to be al "jot? claim for them, and secured such relief the Srat trial. waosusquehanna Are., Philadelphia, Pa. (rV) CANDY -1 1 J CATHARTIC wooa, Mever sicken. Weaken, or Grip. 10c 2uc Wo. s.L-.RE CONSTIPATION. ... SlUf .r C.w. mi..,., Ya.. J NQT0BAC "r'4 rd'rsntedby all drug ' M BMV Sieta to JJ KK Tobaooo liablt.