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About Lincoln County leader. (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987 | View This Issue
.fncoln County Leader.
J. F. HTIW K KT, Publisher.
Wealth tli True Uaala for Titles.
It seem to me tlint it would be much
better, anc f;.r more in keeping with tiie
spirit of the time, to make ail titles a
question of pound, shilling and pence.
We linve ((one a good way in that direction.
If a ninn can make ho inuuy thousand
poumlH out of licer, or railway contracting,
or selling newspapers, he may have any
title he pleases, provided he goes the right
way to work.
licit wedon't do the thing systematically.
It Isn't on a liUHinemdike footing. Very
often tiie man who gem a title has pre
viously received vast sum of public money
(or doing little or nothing, and even when
be procures the title by hid own money the
payment dues not go into the public treas
ury an It ought to. ' lie pay it to the
party fundH, or something of that kind.
The system that prevail in Home of the
minor European states Is vastly more sen
ible. We ought to have a fixed tariff so many
hundred thoiiHand pound for a dukedom,
no many for a muro,uisnte, no many thou
sand for an earldom uud noon. The money
paid for the title would go Into the con
solidated fund, and every nobleman would
have pro rata a solid til le to public re
spect. When we abolish the hmixe of lords
I expect that we Hhall have to adopt some
plan of thin kind, fur though we may be
able to do without the house I doubt
whether Kngllshmen will ever be able to
do without the lord. Henry I.ubouchcrc
iu Ixiudon Truth.
KhuMfsprare and Mullere.
A correspondent finds these notable
pninfii of rcsrmhluuce In the career of
3hnkcsp-are and Moliere:
The father of each w an in trade, and ap-
pal etui ucsullcd bin noli lo iotiow It In uccu-
pittion. The early education of both was
neglected, and we know untiling ill their
after training that conferred on tliem their
perfect knowledge of good breeding and
distinguished manner. Neither of thetu
was Happily married. I'.ach became man-
agcr, author, nctor. Kaeh produced acon
ldrable number of authenticated dra
matic worK. r.acu was cureless nbou
publiHliiiig hi work, or rattier objectei
to do no, lent they should lie aeteil by riva
.1 ..i.... til ... i
malic work. Kach wa careless about
drainatin companie. I'lay of each were
collected by actor anil Hint published In
a complelu form after the death of the au
thor. Kach touched up or produced play that
ste limt or of doulitful origin. Kach disre
garded novelty of plot, burrowing from
allium niMiii-ci. r.arii oisiihcii in pro
J..l.... 'I'l I ..I i
i ii in-, n,,inii ciiiiiihiit oi eacn
'"ViTTV . ' K"l'l. generous. Knell had a
"rr . ' "mi'i, K.-in'roiin, i.acii nun a
nnifo.'fl' xnoit ledge of liuniiiii mituro.
Kach preWfrcilthn Idea or mutter to the
comparative dUregard of thu maimer.
Kach had a remarkable fecundity and fer
tility of production. Knch died at the age
of llfty-lwu. New York Commercial Ad
Marketing In rloiillicrii l-'rimre.
Until you go to an o ii nir market in
the mini h of France you do not know what
genuine pleasure can be obtained from the
UHtial promt! proceeding. Just imagine
great, beautiful chci-rlc at eight
cents a pound, straw berries about live
rent a pound, grupen, plum, near.
pcachca, all in the perfection of beauty
aim iiiKfioiiK navor, Kohl on the Hume small
scale iircoidlng to our American idea.
Green almond nnil llllicits, olives, mush
room, frenh llsl. right from the waters
thatulnioKt hippeil the edges of tin' prim
itive market (lor there were but few
booth, ttliixixt everything being displayed
on cloth laid nut on the ground that sloped
down to the smiling sen), radishes and
lettuce Juxt plrkid in the quaint old time
garden on the adjacent slopes, and above
all anil (I. initial lug even the bankets of
snail with a breath of Hiiutuivr, were the
great panniers filled with blossom whoso
beauty nnil fragianie would bring tro
niendou price in this laud of ours, where
rone sometime are worth their" weight In
gold. Kor a franc one can fill a carriage
with mignonette, violets, carnations as
spicy a they are vivid; Jajrmlne, mimosa,
liclloliope nod great cicuii and pink rose
that hang tlnilr head wijl, the burden of
their own 1 grnuce.-Cor. l'liiladelphla
Time. , ,,
it Iced the romantio
e count rles ho is
in Mexico, where
Is uud. -tood by
ti tocoiiijHKHe unrly
ot an Infant lm..
e Is celebrated, no
s'i'.l at which thu aid
vi'iiT I nut calli-d in by the
sentimental natives tuassist thccxprcsKioii
of their feeling. They are offered by the
devotee at tie shrine of his favorite saint,
by the lovcrW the feet of his mistress and
by t lie soi inn ing survivor at the grave of
hi friend; w hether, iu short, oil fust days
or feast day, en occasions of rejoicing or
Iu moments of distress, these flowers are
sought for with an avidity which would
seem to say that I hem was nu sympathy
like theirs; thusTlordo hwSanliw,' -I'lor
lie Corpus, ' i'lor de los muerto,' 'Klor de
Mulo.' 'No lite olvidcs' (or foigctiueiiot)
are but a few name out of the many that
might lw riled to prove the high consid
eration 111 w hich our favorites are held iu
the New World."
THE MAN FROM CALIFORNIA.
HI Kama Not Mentioned, bat th Golden
Wet U Proad of Him.
"The man who has never gone banting
and fishing in California in June, with the
necessary accompaniment and plenty of
time on bis Hands," said the man from
Corbett's native state, "has made a failure
of life. He isn't really In it."
"Did you get that sun kised nose, that
peeling neck and those tan colored bands
on a bunting and fishing excursion In Cali
fornia?" asked the man who bad his feet
tn the table.
"There were six In onr party," said the
Jther, Ignoring the interruption. "We en
tered the mountains just back of Alta
iYna. We had burros, gun, provender
and fishing tackle ail libitum. Our first
camp was pitched alxait 7,000 feet above
the sea, near a spring, surrounded by ferns
fifteen feet high and 1 can knock any man
down that disputes that assertion to the
extent of a single inch. The resinous odors
of balsam and firs"
"See guidebook," murmured the man in
the slouch hat.
"filled the air, and the sound of falling
water lulled us to sleep. The next morn
ing was fogies, anil from our perch we
could see plainly Altailena, Pasadena and
limitless stretches of valley and plain,
with dark green squares of lemon and
orange orchards. The ocean was plainly
visible and not a Hjieck was to be aeen on
It surface. The only thing that loomed
np between lisaiid Japan was distance"-
"And the protective tarilT?" suggested
the man with the russet shoes.
"The next man that interrupts me. ".said
the Kpeuker, flicking the ashes from the
end of hi half smoked cigar, "will wish hi
hadn't. I have a worse cigar than this in
my pocket. I shall simply light it."
A deep dark silence fell upon the group.
"Seven thousand feet above the mvages
of the advertising llend! " be continued
"Kyilia l'inkliaiii never had been there. Ou
the rock and cliffs there was nothing to
remind you of your liver or kidneys. No
liipiid glue muii with a paint pot and
I 1. 1 1 1 , . I T.
Lr.i a I'.i-i i.Li..i,.,i ,nu I.M4I.U, uunuiu
the swale of moist gypsum below th
spring there wa a bear truck a big as
saucer, but wo stuck to our camp biscuit
ml canned corn and let the bear alone.
"The next night found u in the main
San Gubricl canyon arranging rod and line
to whip the deep anil shallows of the finest
trout stream in all California, and at 10
o'clock the next day we counted the catch.
Five of us had fished, leaving i ne to watch
camp. We had bagged U47 trout that
measured all the way from five to fourteen
Inches in length. We kept this up for five
day, and all tho chowder mid thing we
didn't eat the burro did, along with their
everyday diet of thistle, cactus, rubber
blanket uud dishcloths. We had one big,
overgrown burro wo christened Chicago.
I his ravenous aul mill won hi swul low ev .
thing In sight and then gnaw at the tent
"On the ninth day we climbed -gain up,
up, Into the region of pure ijr and tin
balsam of health, and on th evenlugof
the tenth day out our cump was pitched
KI.HOO feet above bilge wafer. We could
look out over the Mojave desert, the bound
less domain of the broiir lizard and horned
toad away on out over the trackless void
toward Suit Kake, Braver, home. From
this eyrie our shcsitrrs wvnt forth to shoot,
down thu mouiitalii sides, into the echoing
canyon with no bottoms, along the crests
and crags, Iu and out of cave and"
"What (lid yon Hhcsitr"
"It make nu dilVcrcnce what we shot.
The California game laws are against kill
lug deer ut this season. So we didn't kill
any devr. At least we didn't call them
deer. Wt called them caribou. Tliero
were two of them. They weighed eighty
pounds each. The killing was done In self
defense. We skinned these caribou am
hung tin-in on the limb of the spruce, out
in the reach of mountain lions.
"The next day thu two shooter who
Went out came into camp about 4 p. m
mi iiskcii an nanus to come along ouu k
they had 'something to carry.' What that
something proved to be is in evidence at RM
Grand avenue, I.os Angelea, where a miig
nillcent rug soften the footsteps ou the
tufted floor and the bear wvighed over
"I didn't shout any caribou or bearmv
self, but 1 want you to understand that I
was one of the party that diiL And while
loitering about I lie camp waiting for the
other to do the big game act 1 found two
bee Irces that contained about fourteen
bushel, a nearly as we could estimate it,
"We were fifteen days Iu the mountain.
and our table d'hote bill of fare was nrin
clpully trout, carilsiu, b'ar meat and wild
honey, which is a belter layout by at least
three points than John thu llaptist could
boast in hi most halcyon and vociferous
day. Gentlemen, will you join me iu a
glass of wild cherry phosphate or mime-
tiling at I lie place acrosx the way?"
He knew the crowd. It wn hi easiest
way to avoid a return lire. They joined
ulm. t lucago tribune.
HOW SUNDAY WAS REGARDED IN
SLAVERY DAYS BY NEGROES.
Not llmirrtift's Version.
It wa on Sept. V that John Smith,
of Virginia, narrowly escaped deatU
through the presence of mind of Poca
hontas. Smith had long whisker and a
blond pompadour, which were uoveltle in
Virginia at that time, atid Pocahontas was
She decided oil a roup.
Hurriedly approaching the spot where
Binith wa sIhiui to v pulvrritetl with a
club she uttered nu exclamation of sur
prise. "Why, Smithy," she cried, "where have
you Ih-cii all this time?" Turning to her
father, who stood near, she smiled pleas
antly. "Pa, Mr. Smith Mr. Smith,
tvapa," she vivaciously remarked. "I met
Air. Smith at the seaside, papa. And bow
la your dear mother, Mr. Smith?"
The ruse wa urceantul. Iu time Smith
married Pocahouta, which was better
than being killed. -Detroit Tribune.
llrUltfeworli and fluid Crowns.
What is lulled "brldgrwork" consists lu
Inserting a false tooth In a gap between
two natural ones lu the Jaw, fastening It
in place by gold baud amuud theadtoin
lug teeth. Gold crow its are frequently put
ou old rtsit uonadays, this device lm iujj
the advantage that the crown ran la read
tly removed at any time for the purpose of
keeping (he root beneath it Ul good Coudi
liou. Waahiugtou Star. ' .
II Takes (lie Place of lHuiitond Ilust.
The name of rurUirundum ha been
given to a peculiar manufactured sub
stance intended, on account of the peculiar
properties w hich characterize it when thus
Used, to take the place of diamond dust
and Isirt iu the abrasion of hard substances.
Singular to say, the product I In charac
ter wholly unlike the sulmtaiires from
w hicli it is derived that is, iu composition
It I almost pure earlHiu, In construction
crystalline nod iu hurdiirs it is teu, ou
In view of these uualilies. it Is to all
Intents and puriHwe luanufnetuml dia
mond iKiwder, though iu color it I slightly
darker. I'udir the microacouu nianv of
the crystals anis-arof a dark, greeii. some
are yellow, while others still are blue, and
some completely colorless. The cost of
this material Is said to be very moderate.
New York Sun.
All Odd t:pcrtrnre.
Queer things haiitu u w lieu New Yorkers
Visit Brooklyn. Two voung women crossed
the bridge last week to visit a friend ou
I Columbia bright. They walked back to
the bridge entrance, and, perfectly sura
they knew what they were doing Uvught
theii tickets and Milled tbcnim-lve iu a
I train on the King County Klcvmed road.
They talked away Incessant ly, unmindful
of St0,uutil It suddenly (KVtirivd to them
that tl.ey "must Is? nearly across." They
looked out on the green field of Kust New
York, and digust was written deen ou
tboir face as they made their way back to
th city. New York Tunes.
Wet rlolhlug ami I Ightuln;.
If the clothing is wet the lightning may
pass over n a gissl conductor without
Larmiug the body. On the other hand,
person may. be killed without harm being
done to the clothing. In rare ituuaurva
bodies have oven iripHsl naked by light
ning. The coverings of the feet are liable
to be rrioUBlytiijureil, because it is here
that th llghiuluj meets ib greatest r
listaac iu leaving th body. Xxcuau;.
I WAS A GREAT DAY.
rbe plantation Folks Eagerly Looked For
ward to the Day of I test They AU Went
to Meeting and t'sually Spent the Best
of the Tin e Quietly.
In the south before the war Sunday was
looked forward to with anticipations of
naffected happiness by the negroes on the
plantations. With it came not alone the
testful idleness of the day, but the addi
tional pleasure afforded by opportunities
to attend divine worship, writes Edward
The negro, as a race, Is a social being.
The absence of extraordinary brain power
denies him the privilege ' ( thoughtful
meditation or the solace of reflection. His
Intuitive impulse is to loosen the cords that
bind him to himself and to seek congenial
1 hi innate characteristic of sociability
was intensified in the plantation darky,
whose master's family was usually the
oenter around which a highly social mi
crocosm revolved. Sunday was the day
alsive all the rest when he could give full
play to this tendency, and be was never
happier than when in the midst of a group
hearing himself and others talk, "uwine
ter ctiu'ch" therefore always meant for
him more of a season of social than reli
gious enjoyment, though occasionally there
were venerable exceptions to this rule.
The darkies from all the neighboring plan
tations were to Ins seen at "meetin," and
all the grotesque happenings of the week
and bit of highly colored gossip were to
be exchanged amid hearty guffaws, in
which the most innocent good nature
The ante-bellum negro was always pic
turesipie in bis attitudes, adjuncts and
surroundings, and particularly so "ober
SundavH." The manner of hi locomotion
to and from the "meetin house" made a
striking picture, with a touch of irresist
ible drollery about it. More than likely
he proceeds afoot, and if the day be
pleasant he carefully removes his "Sunday
shoes" and the thick cottou socks, draws
off his coat, throws it over his left arm
and dangles the shoe from bis right band.
With his impedimenta thus adjusted he
advance upon his way with a quick sway
ing, shuffling gait, a light heart, a plan
tation hymn ut the tup of his tongue, or a
cheery, rollicking whistle upon his lips.
It the roads be muddy, the distance un
usually great, or the darky himself the
object of the master's or overseer's especial
favor he i iiidub.fd with the use of a
borne, nstridu whose backbone he strings
himself, his wife and a youngster or two.
They jog along slowly, putting up with
the ludicrous discomfort of the arrange
ment with every evidence of good humor.
If the attendant upon divine worship be
far advanced in years, his master, with
thut respect for the aged so characteristic,
of the southern gentlemen of the old
school, places at his and "do ole 'onian's"
disposal a humble vehicle which has out
lusted the greater part of it usefulness.
To this he harnesses a plantation mule,
whose solemn demeanor and highly delib
erate movements are in keeping with the
measured, eay going characteristic of the
darky twain. They set out, the wabbling
wheels describing an eudless series of
curve, convex and concave; The vener
able occupant aru seated in split bottom
chairs and are attired in their "bes' bin
en tucker," with their flaming apparel
"settin two ways fer Sunday" to employ
the vernacular by which they mean to
suggest thu all pervading presence of
starch, which plantation darkies were ac
customed to use unstintedly. Thus, with
au entire absence of self consciousness, the
aged couple arrived nt the church in due
If it be a shrine intended exclusively for
dusky worshipers, the building will be a
lurge rectangular structure composed of
logs, the apertures between being chinked
with mud and clay, and t lie roof consist
ing of rows of rough oak chipboards, held
iu place by long sapling lying lengthwise
with the building, and these iu turn being
secured by prong of hickory. The most
conspicuous adjunct of this humble houso
of worship Is the chimney, which leans
away from the structure with a hurt, of
fended air. It liMik us though it were
about to topple down, and it heterogene
ous materials constitute mi impenetrable
mystery, held by a framework of sticks
lu the milder seasons of the year the
negro worshiper assembled beneath a
spacious urljor formed by a framework of
sapling resting iu the fork of small
growing trees, or of others cut down and
stuck into the ground. I'pou this crud
scaffolding were deposited quantities of
pine boughs, which protected the congre
gation from the sun and the showers, and
dispersed au aromatic odor that was by no
An object of the most envious concern to
the other darkies ou the plantation was
the family coachman, or carriage driver,
or thut of their number who was singled
out to go with "young mist is" or any other
member of the household tochiirch. Aside
from this being considered a recognition of
sti-rior merit and a murk of special con
fidence, it carried with it many privileges
which were greatly enjoyed. It meant
more comfortable transit to and from
church, more presrutable apparel, and best
of all "good eat ill's."
Tho sermon over, a general handshaking
by the disa'rsing congregation was in or
der, and sometimes, when a sermon was to
follow- In the afternoon and the day was a
pleasant one, the attendants divided them
selves into a little group here and there.
The baskets were oieueil, and the lunches,
prepared by the old time southern cooks,
were heartily enjoyed. A general inter
change of small talk mid the news of the
neighhorhotsl made the time pass swiftly;
then came the second sermon, after which
"young mist is" is escorted back to the car
riage by some gallant beau, who, seeing
her and perhaps the "old folks" comfort
ably seated within, how himself away iu
a Chesterlleldian manner. The sable aris
tocrat with the rigid demeanor slams the
door to with a bang, and with becoming
dignity ascends to his perch. Then with
calm dchls-ratiou he draws up the lap rob
and carefully tucks it around hitii. A mo
ment later the rein are lu bis hands, and
then with a crack of the whip the coach
roll away and is soou lost to sight in
cloud ot dust.
WOMEN AS AGRICULTURISTS.
Tare Connecticut Women who Ear
Mad Money Out or Farming.
So many stalwart young men leave rural
Kew England for the cities and the west
that women in those sections often develop
astonishing capacities. As a rule mankind
only do what they are obliged to In the
line of work, and it will generally be found
that the successful women farmers who
occasio'ally astonish the country began
the business as a necessity, though they
toon learned to like it.
Connecticut has an unusually large
pumberof these women, a few of whom
may be cited here as good specimens. Mrs.
Hester Peck, of Grassy Hill, was not really
a farmer by necessity, for when her hus
band died twenty years ago he left two
farms and no children; but she liked the
business, and being rather delicate in
frame lielieved it better to stick to the
farm. She has prospered to a wonderful
degree, is now in robust health and has
two of the finest farms in the Connecticut
She decided early that bay was in the
long run the most profitable crop in New
England, and her farms were soon known
as the best grass land in that section. From
this she naturally drifted into stock rais
ing, and now has a herd that Is noted in
her neighborhood. She has also devoted
much attention to strawberries and rasp
berries, and during the fruit season drives
fourteen miles twice every week to dispose
of her picking. She is a very valuable mem
ber of the church and community, highly
respected for her Christian character and
liberality, while in the details of .farming
ber advice is taken as the best by young
A more remarkable case is that of Mrs.
Harriet Crosby, of Chestnut Plain, who is
but twenty-five years old and has been a
successful farmer foreight years. She waa
the oldest of three children, all girls, and
was away at school when her father died.
Learning that the farm was mortgaged,
she resolutely set to work to remove the
eutumuniuu'. duo huicu iu luo iieius
and directed the help till she got able to
hire all the work done, sue has paid the
mortgage, drained the swamp land, built
a new residence and barns, and renovated
the entire farm, keeping her two sisters at
school all the time, and now has 235 acres
HOW IT FEELS TO DIE
EXPERIENCE OF A
LIEVES HE WAS '
MAN WHO BE
If On Could ISearli the Kalnbow.
Many Improbable aud impossible things
would happen if you could only get in
reach of "the raiuliow." The little Turk
Is told I hat it he would have a srlver head,
with gold teeth and ruby ryes, he has but
to touch the orange stripe, lu 11 recce they
say that th peraou so unfortunate as to
atumble over the end of the bow will hav
hi or her sex Immediately changed. M.
- V 7 7 - "
With all this she has kept up Interest in
the refinements of life, has pursued her
studies during the winter evenings, and
now with more leisure is taking up the ac
complishments at the point she left them
when she bad to leave school. Her only
specialty Is in sheep raising, and she has
made it very profitable. She is a very de
cided young lady, believes in woman's
rights, laughs at offers of marriage and is
devoted to her mother and sisters.
Miss Mary Hungerford, a lady of about
forty years, in the same neighborhood, has
been a managing farmer since her father's
death, fifteen years ago. She is highly ac
complished in literature, music and paint
ing, but gave up society to preserve the
home farm and has succeeded so well that
Bhe is quite wealthy. A man instinctively
feel (whether because of custom or not)
that woman was not designed for hard,
rough work, but if it must be done it is
well to know that success is possible.
His Whole IJfe Did Not Flash Before Him
M He Sank Into Ciiconcloune There
Was No Mental Pain Whatever The
Far of Death I Physical Dread.
AH my life long I have been singularly
destitute, I believe, of that physical shrink
ing from death which so many human
beings feel so acutely. I do not mean to
say I am in any hurry to die; as long as
things go tolerably well with me in the
world I have no insupportable objection to
living, but whenever I stand face to face
with death, a happened to me several
times in the course of my career, I regard
the rjrosnect of annihilation with perfect
equanimity. J can honestly declare that
on all such occasions my own doubts and
fears have been for the safety and pecuni
ary position of the survivors, especially
those more immediately dependent upon
For myself I have never felt one mo
ment's disquiet. And I attribute this en
tire absence of fear of death to the unusual
fact that I have already tried dying and
found it by no means a painful or terrify
ing experience, I mean what I say quite
literally. I have not the slightest hesita
tion in asserting that once in my life I
really and truly died died as dead as it is
possible for a human being to die, and that
afterward I was resurrected. I have felt
and know the whole feeling of death not
part of it only, but the actual end of dying.
I did not stop half way. I died and was
done with, and when I came back to life
again it was no mere case of awakening
from what it foolishly called "suspended
animation," but a genuine revival, a res
toration of vitality to a man as dead as he
ever can be or will be,
It happened in this wise, and though it
was a good many years since I have still
& UlUal ViViu ltcv.it. 'Jkiuli of etciy lliOlllCiil
of it: I had been skating on a lake in a
very cold country. I am intentionally
vague because I do not desire to disclose
my personality. The surface was smooth
as glass and perfectly free from snow or
ridges. But not far from where I was
skating some men bad been cutting out
great blocks of ice the day before for sum
During the night this open spot of blue
water had frozen over slightly perhaps
an inch thick. I skated incautiously from
the solid ice on to this thinner piece, and
moving with considerable impetus went
through it at once and was carried on un
der the thicker and firmer ice bevond it.
The first thing I knew was that I found
myself plunged suddenly into ice cold wa
ter, and struggling for my life in skates
and winter clothes against chill and drown
I went down like lead. When I came up
again it was with my head aguinst the
solid ice. If I had bad full possession of
my faculties I would have looked about
for the hole by which I broke through and
endeavored to swim under water for it.
Uut 1 was numbed with the cold and stun
ned with the suddenness of the unexpected
ducking; so, instead of looking fur the
place by which I had got in, I tried inef
fectually to break the ice over my bead
oy untuning and hutting against it.
In so doing, I do not doubt, I must have
made matters worse by partially stunning
myseii. .at, any rate X couia not break it.
and was soon completely numbed by the
col'. I gasped aud swallowed a great deal
ot water. .
1 felt my lungs filling. A moment ot
suspense, during which I knew perfectly
well 1 was drowning, intervened, and t hen
I died. I was drowned and dead. I knew it
then, and I have never since for a moment
Just before I died, however, I noticed
aeuuetately noticed, for I am tishvcholoo-
leal bynuture that my whole past life did
not come np, as I had been given to under
stand it would, in a single flash before me.
On the contrary, I felt ouly a sense of cold
and damp and breatblessness.n fierce, wild
stru?ole, a horrible choking sensation, and
men in was over.
I wis taken out stone dead. Unless ex
tremuremedies bad been applied I would
have lemuinea stone dead till the present
momtit. It nothing more bad been done
my Iwly would have undergone no further
chante till decomposition set, in. Heart
and lings bad ceased to act. I was truly
dead) there was nothing more that could
happen to me to make me nnv deader
However, a friend who was skating with
me Wised the alarm, and I was shortly
aiieipuueu out agnin, still Head, with
boatiook. They tried artificial respira
tion, brandy, heat all the recognized
meass oi reviving a corpse afterdrowning,
Alter awhile they brought nie back. I be
gan to breathe again.
If there had been no artificial respiration
I wculd never hnve revived again, and my
bodj would have undergone dissolution in
Que course, without any return of cou
scioosness whatever. So fur as conscious
nesi goes, therefore, I was then and there
aea, aud 1 never expect to be anv ilea,l..r
Ani the knowledge that I have thus once
exp-rienced In my own person exactly what
difith is, and tried it fully, has had a great
diil to do, I think, with my utter physical
indifference to it, I know how it feels, aud
iugh it is momentarily uncomfortable
if ksn't half as bad as breaking your arm
orna.iing a loom urawn.
In fact the actual dying itself, as driin?
is quite painless as painless as falling
aaeeu. ii is only the previous struggle
tue sense of its approach that Is at all un
comfortable. Even this is much less un
phasant than I should have exjiected be
forehand, aud I uoted at the time that
there was a total absence of any craven
shrinking the sensation was a mere phys
ical one of gaspiug and choking. When
eerlhave stood within measurable dis
tance of death ever since my feeling lias
bten the same I have been there already,
and see no cause to dread it. Of course
ne might strongly object to a painful end,
on account of its puinfulness, aud one
ight shrink, and ought to shrink, from
kaving one's family, especially if young or
bsufficieutly -provided for, but death it
stlf, as death, it seems to me, ueed have
absolutely c terrors for a sensible pr-on.-Pall
Outwitted Their Friend.
A "terriblv nrettr" Ilminn
Harvard culled her, found when she, with
:he happy groom, was about to depart on
Jie uoueymoon that some wag had decked
the carriage with weddimr favor. ..i o
was literally a mass of white ribbons and
hydrangea blooms. It was a trying mo
ment! The rice fell thick and fast
merry aho'its of laughter greeted the H..
rope. It was ridden 6.X) mile, bya young Vset off l.kT..Y compelled
negro before reaching Sierra Leone. VrherS "'lH , . Ik f. ,,hwr "
th nimble pair jtimt-M into a second re.
tiage at the next trot corner, and so out-
-uieu me yew man" and bis frolicsome
I - - l wuji,-uostOD tieraid.
A REAL AMERICAN.
J. V. STAND18H.
Lombnrd Vlilveriitty'a New Prestdenf la a
Descendant of Mile StundlBh.
People who have studied the subject as
sert that the ii.OOOPuritansor thereabouts
who made the
in New England
now have about
ants. This looks
like a big esti
mate, and yet it
is a demonstrated
fact that in spite
of the enormous
i m in I g r ation a
clear majority of
the people of the
United States are
known lines from
those who were In the couutry when the
Revolution began. All this will serve rui
an Introduction to the latest descendant if
Miles Staudish to attract attention.
This la Mr. J. V. Standlsh, the new presi
dent of Lombard university, at Galesburg,
Ills. He was born iu Woodstock, Vt., Feb.
2S, 1S; was graduated from Norwich uni
versity In 1S4T, and In 1S54 was made pro
fessor in mathematics and astronomy in
Lombard university, a position he held
till June, ISUl. He then traveled a year
and returned to become president of the
college. In 1K"7 he was elected president
of the Illinois State Teachers' association,
and has served as editor of The State
Journal of Education.
It is Interesting to learn that the de
scendants of Miles Standish have gen
erally maintained a high standard in edu
cation. Professor Standish began teach
ing at the age of sixteen, and has made it
his life business. The descendants of Pas
tor John Kobinson and his famous brother
are said to be numbered by thousands, and
it is claimed that they and other Puritan
lives have sustained the high character of
the race to woudrrful degree.
A Mammoth Ostrich.
There is at present in the London Zoolog
ical gardens an African importation which
bid fair to take the place of the late la
mented Jumbo in the hearts of juvenile
Urltain. It i the great African ostrich
which King Alimany Sauiadon presented
to viueen irtoria. It is probably the larg
est specimen of the kind ever seen in Eu-
It was placed on board shin for Lirerrjool
During the long walk the mammoth bird
attacked and Injured several native, kill
ten two of them.
MR. AND MRS. BOWSER.
a TrUs to Show His Wife How to Clean
House What the Result Was.
Last fall Mr. Bowser undertook to do our
bouse cleaning in fifteen minutes, but got
discouraged and went on or a fortnight a.
while 1 finished up. As 1 wanted to overhaul
things a little this month, and as 1 wanted
him out of the way, I said to nim the other
Being vou have been borne all summer, I
should think you would want to take a little
g-ip this fall."
H ml he replied as be looked up from his
ou don t look a bit well, Mr. Dowser.
Tour face is haggard, aud 1 believe you have
lost twenty pounds of Hesb this summer."
This tune he didn t say anything as he
looked at me.
If you wanted to go down to New Hamp
shire and see your relatives," I continued, "I
could get you all ready in one day."
"Oh. you could I' he replied, "ilrs. Bow
ser, 1 see through your little game, and it
won't work. ou wuut to get me away so
you can rip and tear and scrub and cleanand
wipe and dust and damage ana aestroy iour-
fifths of the contents of this house"'
"1 want to clean just a little."
"Well, go ahead."
"But you you" '
"Oh, yes, it's always mel One would think
you were afraid to breathe unless I gave my
consent in writing. Have 1 said a word
aguinst housecleaningt Don't I know that
housccleaning must be done? I was wonder
ing the other day when you were going to
"But last year you raised such a fuss."
"Can't remember that I said one single
word. If I did it was only in fun."
'jAnd I may clean P
Tiot only that, but I'll help."
"But you needn't. You just be patient and
put up with the muss for a few days and I'll
As I said, I will help, Mi's. Bowser, It
will be a sort of vacation for me. Don't you
worry about my finding any fault."
It was with fenr anil tremhlin" thut I me
him put on an old suit of clothes next morn
ing and heard In in say:
I'll begin on the parlor first It's now 9
o'clock. We ought to be through with the
whole house in two hours."
I I'm afraid we are not so smart as that
We m ist go slow and give the house a thor
ough going over."
"Oh, we 11 have everything shining like a
new pin before we let up. You boss and I'll
do the work. You know, of course, that
there is everything in the planning. Some
folks make a whole week's job of houseclean-
Ing simply because they don't know how to
plan. Mother and I used to clean bouse in
half au hour, and you know howj)fe9ur
she is." J
After breakfast the cook came in and said
6he was ready, and she likelf'T announced
that the two colored women were in waiting.
"Vtaitiug tor what!" asked air. Bowser.
"To help us clean," I replied. ,
"Send them right home I Five oi us to
clean housel Who ever heurd of the likel
Do you want the neigbborji thiuk we have
been shoveling dirt mto "to llhouse all sum
mer? I'll start those colored- women for
home, and I don't want any help from the
cook. Let her attend tcAoffairs in the
He went out aud "started" tit Vwoniea
I had had engnged for six yjf then
returned with the njiiiouiin-jtw)HJeW.".t..
ready to start iu ou the spaiJ "Ji, hav
uig already taken down the culs and rej
moved the bedding. .
"All right I'll have it doue in fiie min
utes!" he replied, as he spit on lrf hands.
"You clear out and give me rooirt to work,
I thiuk I can give you and nil otiiei fivomen a
pointer on house cleaning."
I went down stairs, and it wtLn't over
seven minutes before he called to n-fk,
"AH right, Mrs. Bowser your ?TOm is
cleaned! Come up and show me whit to do
"What have you doner 1 asked j
him seated on the window sill
placent smile on bis face.
"Cleaned the room. Every
been taken dow n and dusted,, th.
wiped off, aud I hnve swept the carpi
turee or tour women would have en two
days accomplishing tho samo Uul have
completed iu less than ten minutes. I toll you,
Mrs. Bowser, it is nil iu the piunuiuj "'
"But that bedstead must come, ? n, Mr.
Bowser." . 1
"What forr 7
"Because the carpet must come up. tvery
thiug must lie moved out of the room and the
"Well, I should like to know what for?
What's the matter with this room just as
"Dust, Mr. Bow ser. It blows and we can't
help it Moths get in now and then. If we
don't do our work thoroughly we might as
well let it go entirely. Take the bedstead
"I'll take it down, but I protest It's all
bosh hunting out every spek ,of dust No
one else does it. (jot out of the way 1"
He made a grab for the springs and lifted
them out, but in getting them clear of the
rail be fell over backwards and the springs
fell upon him. He made use of several vig
orous exclamations, kicked out in an effort to
demolish them, aud as I assisted him to get
up he roared:
"I told you that these things ought to be
left alone! The fool who invented them
never intended they should be moved!"
I calmed him down after a bit and then
asked him to take down the bedstead. He
grabbed the footboard and gave a pulL
Theu he grabbed the headboard and gave a
"Mr. Bowser, don't you know how to take
a bedstead apart f" I asked.
"Don't If Well, if I don't no one else
does! I was tikiug bedsteads apart ten years
before you were born I You always have to
loosen the joints a bit Now then"
"But you don't bear down on the roil. You
must lift up at the ends."
"I think I know my business, Mrs. Bowser,"
he replied as he worked away.
"But you don't. You are locking the rails
Instead of loosening them. Bee here."
I pulled at the end of a rail and unlocked
It Mr. Bowser backed off, crossed his bands
on the small of bis back and said:
"Mrs. Bowser, that settles it I clearly see
your object. We wi.l have no more house
cleaning this falL I see what it would lead
to. When a wife gets the idea that she
knows more than her husband it is time to
holrt the dangjr sigual. Just drop things
right here. That is, unless you have planned
to bring about this very thing to force a
Ho dressed and went off down town. De
troit Free Press.
m I found
ft ' com-
A Little Off.
'yay! haven't you any souse P he demand
ed of bis friend as they crossed the street and
left tiie third man to go on alone.
"Why, you kept asking him if he'd been
away this summer, and if be d had a good
time, and if he went fishinj, and all t jat."
" wnsVt that common courtesy I"
"Ii'ot under the circumstances. Not when
he'd been in the workhouse ail summer P
Detroit Free Pre.