"V .'!
I
-.-1JHECOOS BAY T,MES' MARSHFIELD, OREGON, FRIDAY, APRIL 14, 1916 EVENING EDITION
THREE
The Central Avenue Booster
H!
CKNlltAL AVENUE, Fill DAY, APItIL 7, 11)10.
NO. 82.
vot.
I Wouldn't I
I You? I
k0 to initio with n Btoro
m has ..o substitutes t
offcr on -where, wlwn
rM a.k for CoBtorln. for
,D8tance, you rccolvo tho
bl(l genuine Coalorln not
mi BUbatltuto mndo to
deceive you. - If yo
tbat kind of n ilniB storo
you will like lo Initio nt
TUB OVYW for Hint's tho
kind of a stoio tlint Frank
n. Cohan lina niatlc of It.
The Central Ave.
Drug Store
Frank I). Cohan
Wo Deliver liuniedhtely.
TIIK CENTRAL AVENUE IIOOSTEK
Published Every Friday In the Intor
e.stfl of Coos Ray In General nutl
Central Avcmio In tnrtlculnr.
Entered nt tho Poatofflco ns strictly
First-Class matter; thoro Is nothing
Soconil-ClflBS about Central Avonuo.
Subscription Price. Your Rood will,
and membership In tho Ilonstor Club
OUK PLATFOKM.
One Streot, Olio Flag, Olio Country,
.. ..nnd One Wife nt n time
OUIt HKL1GIOX.
To Do Good.
oim POLITICS.
Morn Hnaliidss.
Till: PASSING STAGE
II
AUOl'XD AIIOUT
An eastern editor snya Hint a man
lu Now York gets himself Into
trouble by marrying two wives. A
western editor icplies that many
'men In that section hntl done tho
.eaiua by marrying one. A north
lorn editor reports that quite u num
ber of his nciiimliitnucc found troub
le enough by barely promising to
marry without going any further.
'A southern editor says that a friend
of his wan bothered enough wncn
simply found In company with nn
'other ninn's wife.
I smile-a-while
(Composed by us In collaboration
with sovcral knights of tho grin.)
How dear to my heart nro tho days
of tho stages
Whon fond recollections present
thorn to vlow.
Tho tilps Into Floronco nnd Drain,
that took nges;
The scenes that wo travol'd for
days to go through.
The gallant ship "Gnsco;" tho old
"Jurvls Landing;"
Tho walk on tlio sand Bplt In
mom's early dnwnj
The old dcatl-ax wagon wo waited for,
standing
All cold In tho mist till It carried
us on.
Chorus:
The old dead nx wngon. tho Iron
tired wagon,
Tho sprlngless seat wagon
Jolted us on.
You kin usually spot n candidate
oven In th' biggest crowd. Wntch
'How gaily wo plung'd through the for n feller that looks llko he'd Jest
THE GOOD HABITS
rou have, never get you In bad fed tho linblt of coming to
Cook's Grocery
PEA8 (canned) . UK; lUJc, l.c, 1715c HOe, U3c
T0.MAT0K8 (canned) .: .....-. i ....... .H t-iW, UK; V2)iv, 15c
SWAN COHN SALAD Oil. ((t. bottlo) :c
CO-COA v. & -"' -",'' !lr'c
AI'PI.K M'TTKIl (glass) '.". -", 5c, 15c
chick foods, giuts.siiells, ground done, dei:f scmiaps
HAM BACON LARD
SEE
COOK'S
GROCERY
P;
:
d 1H0.
ROMPT
OPULAR
ROGRESSIVE
thnt
MEAN HKMAHKK OF TIIK
WATER FRONT OIISEltVKR
CBN'
pin
i.i
Politics
KNTHAL Avenoo is th' popular
aco for candidates nowadays,
boln' th' street where th' voters
13 thickest.
Th' flower ov our manhood Is of
ferln' Itself nt this time in th' peo
ple's servico, belli' wlllln' to sncrltico
Itsa own fortunes to save th' County
an' Stato from rooln.
As each candidates clatmB to hov
th' right reccipo, nn' furthor claims
that th' recolpo ov his opponont ought
by rights to hov a plz.cn lnbcl pasted
on to It, nn' as th' votors can't af
ford to mako no mistakes lu th'
present perilous crisis, th' moment Is
tcnto.
fr -S-
I
A Good SIKn. Harry MeKoown re
ports that lots moro iicoplo nio bolng
entertained nt tho Cliandlar dining
fronm tho last fow wocltB. Tho fact
That moro pcaplo aro eating regularly
Is ono of tho best Indications of pros
perity Hint wo'vo noticed.
SSI I Wi-A-WII I UK 1
ford nt tho "Ton MSIo"
And laughed nt cold foot whon tho
surf filled our shoes;
And clung to our seats nnd our bng-
gago llko men, whllo
Wo dashed through tho torrent
and scoffed at tho blues.
Then up on tho beach, half tho time
In the wntor,
Townrtls Winchester Bay whore
the "Eva" lny moored
Wliero tho stout hearted Jimmy Trom
Gardiner had brought her
To tako up tho fares for tho pnliiB
wo endured.
Chorus:
Tho staunch stonmcr Eva, tho gallant
ship Kvn,
Tho flro-bolchlng 3va thnt "gild"
us along.
Then on up tho river to Scottsburg's
fair situs;
Where wo tarried mid scenes that
so often wo saw;
ind retired In tho wild hopo thnt
nothing would blto us,
And thauk'd a kind Ilcav'n for tho
nine foot sheet, law.
Thon up In tho morning for fried
eggs ami bncon,
And back In tho wngou nutl out on
tho rond;
Wo frottcd nnd stowed nt tho tlmo
wo woro ninkln',
And hoofed through tho "cut-off"
to lighten tho loud.
laid nb'Ido n first class grouch, torn
pornr'ly an' look up entertalnln' nn'
fngroeablo manners for th' tlmo be-
In' nn' beln' ns bo's loft his grouch
'whero ho kin find It, scoins to bo
.onjoylu' til chnngo, nltho' ho gits
bored sometimes.
J
A follor who's nlvus agreeablo
wouldn't run strong, uh ho wouldn't
bo contfldorcd to hcv enough "ctlgo."
jllr.t when a niiiii who's most glnorally
a crnb comes out ov IiIh shell nn nets
mnnnorly people fool complimented,
'an mobbo votes for him on th'
stron'th ov It.
What I can't got through my nog
gin Is why so many rantlldntcs nt tuts
Dunctiiro thinks "fewer lnwa" Is u
good wnr whoop. I alwun thought
vo olocled candidates on pttrposo to
hmnko laws for us, to tako koor of
dlff'ront kinds ov now dovlltry as
reamo wuz Invented. I reckon If
theso chnnipeons ov th' people wim
runnln tqr business mnnngor ov n
sawmill tholr plr.tform 'ud bo "fowor
flogs.
),
HO.1l I
-fiMI LEJA-WI I LE
! SHOE PIIII.OSOIMIV
CKNTItAli AVENUE JOTTINGS
Hotter Tlmn tliu Host. Hob Mara
den, who has always shown "tho best
films on earth" nt tho Xoblo Theatre,
'sr.yB that ho will bo nblo to get much
hotter films now that tho railroad
sorvtco 13 available.
SM I LE-A-W1I I LE
Ploiiso Forget It. Gcorgo AnlcRcr
snys tho puns on his nnuio which
twist It Into "Anarchy" or "Arnica"
woro nil played out hack In Peoria,
and ho hopes Marshflcld Jokers will
pleaso refrain, or Invent something
now.
SM I LE-A-WII I LE
a way to close Mill Slough. Al
bert need not got so chesty, llo
Is not tho only ono In town to bo
honored. Wilson Kaufman has
been nominated to be n meuibor of
the Saturday Evening Post and
Doc Toyo Is on tho wnltlng list of
the Ladles Homo Journal.
SMILE-A-WHILE
Its mi 111 Wind. W. A. Acker
man omployed considerable clo
'qiionco about two weeks ngo In con
viiiclug the city council that a ban
ner flung across tho squnro nt Con
trnl avonuo and Drondwny, with his
nnmo on It, would glvo tho city n
metropolitan nppenrancc. Ho didn't
put up thq banner, but ho madb It
easy for tho commltteo to got per
mission to put a similar ono up for
K-vnngollst Druco Evans. Central
Awuuo seems to bo n popular plnco
for both religion and politics.
SMIfiK-A-WIIITiK
f lot Opportunity. Henry Dlcrs,
Coos Hay's official stntlstlcnn, ought
to havo boon engaged to koop track
of tho nmount of gnrbngo disposed
of on clean up day In tho Interest
of tho City lndnorntor project. What
has becomo of that, nnywny?
SMI I,K-A-V1 1 1 IjK
There Is this to say for rich rola
tlvcs. Ono bccs very llttlo of thoni
Yanop
TIIK XKW WONDER
$12.50
MIONOGUAPII
Pln,VH Victor, Cohuiibln. dr
any 10 or llMiuli dl
records, Coiuo In nnd hear
It.
II
MARSHFIELD
NEWS CO.
08 CENTRAL AVE.
(Formerly Frlccn's)
Wo deliver nny inngnzlno
or periodical on dnto of
I.msiio :: :: :: ::
Mlxtltiotcil . Harry .Hultmnnn
says ho wis not correctly quoted lu
'his nccount of his recent trip. Tho
newspapers' played up tho automo
bile nccltlont, nnd his narrow cscapo
therein, whllo what ho really Intend
ed to complain about was tho rivo
ho had to walk.
SMIIiK-A-'WHlLn
taHMHMMHMMMMMMM
If it isn't an ANSCO
it isn't the best
$2.00 to $55.00
i
Films and Developing
REH FE LD'S
220 Central Avenue Marshflcld
In (irnvu Danger. Davo Stnfford
ifnyB It has been tho munition of his
life for tho past thrco years to got u
fllttlo rest from business. Xc.v thnt
ho hns sold out, and hns tho covetod
leisure, ho don't know what to no
f with hlmsolf, nnd fours his character
klB bolng so undermined thnt ho mr.y
bo driven Into politics.
' SM I IdNA-WWIiK
An InrrtMiHliiK Kvll. A man In
'Wo lunched thou nt Elktou on (vol
coma fried chicken
And climbed on tho wagon to tako
tho last lab;
Myrtlo Point Ih suing his wlfo for n
divorce bocnuso sho called btin'n fool.
KWhat nro wo coming to when such
'engaging frankness on tho part of a
Lwlfo, to say nothing of lior moro ox-
orcleo of a wltos porogntlyo, is nolo
Gordon, whoso solo aim ls ur conns 10 do groun.- vi:
lug up a family
SM I LK-A -Wl 1 1 F,K
'J
We Have Today
New Potatoes Green Peas
ASPARAGUS, RHUBARB, CELERY, RADISHES, all
iizes of ORANGES from 20c per dozen up. Apples,
BANANAS, also all vegetables and fruits that are In the
market.
Next Monday Afternoon
We will receive our first shipment of the Famous
Holstim and Tip Top Bread
This bread is sanitary, wrapped by special process
and comes clean and untouched from one of the largest,
nest and most modern bakeries on the Pacific coast. It
is mads clean sold clean and delivered clean.
Bread sold Monday afternoon is made fresh Monday
ni?rning. Let us have your order for this good bread
scientifically made in a modern bake shop and sold and
Delivered in a sanitary manner.
Watch for the first shipment of "Holsum" and "Tip
Top bread. Fresh daily. ,
Sanitary Food Store
Sll VICE FIRST
. (Formerly Nusburg's Grocery.)
III0B 218 SECOND AND CENTRAL
Harry
Ito sell Holes nnd suvo his own, hnnib
Tim nnnstcr editor tho followlnir
ns einbrnslng abmo of his phllos-L
ophy:
How much a man Ih llko old shoes.
For Instance both a salir can loso,
Doth havo been taiineil , both nro
mndo tight,
Uy cobblors, botirget loft nnd right.
fAud weariness grow, as our uaco " "PC'1 n ,na, ,0 " complete
didn't quicken; Anii notn nro matio io go on icoi.
Twas too nnbllq for tears, nutl jAVItli allocs tho last Is first; with
too rough for n nap. mnn
Kin nl1,. nn.l illlratv ntl.l ,l,lalv,TlU) flTSt HlUlll DO 1110 Indl nllll
Voblcle OviiciM Tluitcntsl.- Jack
Cnrter announces thnt all those who
aro dollnquont In tho pnymont of
their vehicle tnx nro to bo pinched
"next week." If ovorybotly Jack Iuih
Jover throntonod to pinch "next week"
had been arrested nnd modorntoly
'tlnod, City warnints woultl now bo
nt par. Wo should worry.
SMII.K-A-WIflliK
nnd weary,
' Wo pull'd up nt Inst In tho city
of Drain;
And took a quick "istibIi" nt tho inn,
nnd felt Bincary,
And Blghed with rellof ns wo cut
for tho train.
Alas, for tho days that havo faded
and vunlBh'd,
Their Joys nnd tholr hardships in
momory burn;
lint now thnt tho trials of staging
nro lnvnlsli'd,
Willi Joy to tho plonmiro of Pull
mans -wo turn.
Thoy'vo boon long a-romlng, wo'vo
pntlontly waited
Whllo long weary years of expec-
' tancy lmssod. '
rllut now Its our turn to bo wildly
elated,
Tho doggoned old railroad has got
bore at last.
I'tltntmai wnnon chorus softlv. with
sob effect,)
HMIIK-A-WHILK
Don't lllnuio llliu. Goorgo Cook
snytt hn's gottlug almighty tlrod of
whon tiics.0 joKors rororring 10 ins iivo
Tim almnu wnnr nil (linv'rn niniulnil hllllgulOWH Oil EiKlltll TorrUCO US
i too
When mon wear out, Ihoy'ro men
dead (no.
Thoy both need heeling, both
solod,
"CookhoiiHos." This Is going a llt
tlo too far, ovon In a section whero
tho uoiuonclnturo of tho lumber
ro- (f amps Is common. Trunk liorcon
lunys Its a good lesson to ono who lias
And both In tlmo turn nil to mould, to Iivo In tho houses, Indicating tlint
Thoy both nro trop upon, nnd both .'ho Bhould own bis own homo.
Will tread on othorH, nothing loath.
Doth bnvo tholr .ties, and both lu-
cllno,
Whon polished, -on tho world lo
shine.
Thoy both pog nut. bo would you
chooso
To bo a man or bo Ma shoos?
SM I I.K.A. W 1 1 1 J a:
Wiuitcd Ills MouoyV Worm.
I.ynn Lnmhotlr took n man out to
t PERSONAL MENTION t
, t
.WILSON KAUFMAN says he has
j two umbrellas and several books
I that are hooping Lent.
Ilosobtirg tho other day In his big
car I.ynn Is nlwnyB lu a rush to
"get there," and drovo at Biicb a paco
that the passenger wub about a foot
above tho scat of the car a llttlo
rmoro than hnlf tho tlmo. Aftor a
few mllcH of this tho paHsengnr bo
came nervous, and shouted out:
"Here, driver, Just slow down n llttlo
bit, will you? I paid for this soat, I
anil uy jiinmiuy 1 proiioso to nun in
it."
8MT,K.A.WHITjE .
Wl'FF
1
FRANK hAISE who has been read
ing In Tho Booster that this Is
leap year 3ays: "If you meet a
young lady who Is not vory shy
you bad better bo a llttlo ahy
yourself."
W
AM)
let
AUTOISTS DON'T MISS THIS
e havo Just nut In stnoir of lm f.niimia Mcfiinw Tires, mndo
tbo world. -VAhUKS,
IV TIIK MAKFHS
MinM,ni'80!,t ",Uo Ul' nlltl tl,bo fa(to,,i' ,u ,
vV. ,l5 AX,) SKItVICK IS (Jl'AItANTKKD
ls We. i mako adJuitnioiits on tbo Mt. fonio hi uud
us show j on.
Marshtield Hardware Co.
"oadws
The best hi tho Unrdwure Hue
vay ami Central Avenue
Phono at
3ALU
nuWai
JOHN C. KENDALL, the W.
Is a cliain-
k. at
tornoy and candidate
plon smoko ring blower. Arthur
Peck, also a candidate, says
It alnt always so, but, as a rule,
a sinoke-rlng blower don't caro
much for useful labor.
; SMILK-A-WHILE .
Sho cannot sing the old songs
jshe sahg In days of yore; Bho can
not thump tho keyboard now un-
itll her thumbs are sore. Alas!
t'pon tho planny sho never .more
will play; she failed In her Install-
ments and Lew Thomas took tlio
t thing away.
', SMILE-A-WHIIJ?
SMII.K-A-WHILK
.Many Xitiibt'N. J. Albert Mat
3on who tinea huslnosH on Front
Stroot but lives on Central hns been
notified Hint ho has boon nominat
ed UK n member of tho Niitlnunt
Geographical Society which linn
hoadquurtorn In Washington, D. C,
Ho has consontod to become a mom
lior but does not know who pro
posed his nnmo or what for un
Iojs It was hccniiBO ho discovoretl
JfKBo Terrell had a llttlo dog
Ho called the- doggy Noodle,
When asked his pedlgreo ho said,
"Oh, Its Jii3t.a Shampoodla".
SMILK-A-WIIILK
OLD SAWS HKSKT
(To J. T. Harrlgan)
Now here Is ono splold
Dy my old friend Juck:
"A 'crick In tho field
Is worth two In the back."
. SMIM-WI!IL-K
SPItlXC POKM
There was soino snow, but Its Lent!
Winter's wont! Winter's went!
It'3 a llttlo chilly, but all the same,
Spring hs came! Spring has
ramo!
FRANK IIARLOCKJCU
SM I LK-A-WH! LIC
APHID I, .1. P. MOIK.'AX Al CO.
WIIOTK A CHECK FOIt OVEIt
$70,000,000
Tlio lurgiv-l rhwk oier ilrami. If
(Clio Croslliwalt tould writo a check
for over M'ciity nilllloii ilollarH, tbo
(linnet's nro lio uoiild mako a prcs
out or hi Intel est hi THE SMOKE
HOUSE to .Hiii Kclloud ami Frod
McCfccM. Hut, as II Is, bo gooN rlgbt
on helling good cigarN, nutl KL
ItOlTAX Ih uiiHing (bo lH-ht.
A guiiio of lillllanl., or your fn
voiilo iimgiilno may nlo liu foiiutl
lit
... 1 tiC,t
Smokehouse
CVntral Avenue' Popular .Meeting
Placo l-'or Men.
Gono Crosthwalt Jim Kolloud
Fred McClees.
lll'SIXESS PUEPAKEDXESS
Consists In possessing tho very lntest and best offlco equipment
mid no office Is fully prepared without ono of our 42 Ccntlmotor
Itomlugton Typewriter.. Thoy flro tho shots that batter down
the fortifications of old fogylsm and bring back as prisoners
plenty of orders.
Hen Mu About. Tonus I
L W- JACOBS
7!l Central Aveiiuo.
WE AUK AGENTS FOIt
THE
Phono 'J.1U-J.
"DICTAPHONE"
Commencing tomorrow wo will servo a fluo '
MIIItCHANTS LUNCH
fiom II to !:!() for only ilOc
It will consls of a nlcoly bnlunccd monu Including soup, roast,
snlati, a piece or plo, tea or u eo. All dollclously cooked In tho
Sartor wny.
Light Lunches All Day nnd Evening-
SARTER'S DEW DROP INN
Central Avenue Don't Forget the Light Lunches
You Want Good Insurance
Prompt adjustments of
Thfat's the kind I write,
all losses.
Fire, Life, Accident and Casualty.
Ilavo Just added to my lino ono of tbo leading Iho-stovk
1 Mil-unco companion In tlio United State,
In.
E. I. Chandler
Coko Itiillillug
MarMiflcId
Teach Your Children to
Save Money
It's the First Step in the
art of getting ahead. See
that they have a Savings
account IN THIS BANK
First National Bank
HOME OF THE SAVER
Marshfield,
of
Coos
Bay
Oregon
DIt. W. A. TOVE,
DENTIST
Hours 9 to 12; 1 to 5.
rinnorniu. innklne. th Pnos Iiav' Ilonm GO I, Irving llltlg.
avwiw -- 0 t- tr
man who has a quarrM with tho law
is caught Uolatlng It.
rntrnl Avemiti. aiiiroiint'iu
T) 12 PU
O mill CONTINUOUS WELCO.ME. Vou can't untertnln prosper.
Uy, mi) body, or enjoy life properly youmclf unless you have music
lu the home
SEE US AT ONCE.
Thomas Music Company
Consolidation of Wiley It. Allen nod W. H. Haines Music Stocks
0:t Central Avenue,
PLAN TO TAKE
- Sumdlay Dinner
AT THE
Chandler Hotel
The Hub of
Central Avenue
A GOOD .MENU
t-
J
1