"V .'! I -.-1JHECOOS BAY T,MES' MARSHFIELD, OREGON, FRIDAY, APRIL 14, 1916 EVENING EDITION THREE The Central Avenue Booster H! CKNlltAL AVENUE, Fill DAY, APItIL 7, 11)10. NO. 82. vot. I Wouldn't I I You? I k0 to initio with n Btoro m has ..o substitutes t offcr on -where, wlwn rM a.k for CoBtorln. for ,D8tance, you rccolvo tho bl(l genuine Coalorln not mi BUbatltuto mndo to deceive you. - If yo tbat kind of n ilniB storo you will like lo Initio nt TUB OVYW for Hint's tho kind of a stoio tlint Frank n. Cohan lina niatlc of It. The Central Ave. Drug Store Frank I). Cohan Wo Deliver liuniedhtely. TIIK CENTRAL AVENUE IIOOSTEK Published Every Friday In the Intor e.stfl of Coos Ray In General nutl Central Avcmio In tnrtlculnr. Entered nt tho Poatofflco ns strictly First-Class matter; thoro Is nothing Soconil-ClflBS about Central Avonuo. Subscription Price. Your Rood will, and membership In tho Ilonstor Club OUK PLATFOKM. One Streot, Olio Flag, Olio Country, .. ..nnd One Wife nt n time OUIt HKL1GIOX. To Do Good. oim POLITICS. Morn Hnaliidss. Till: PASSING STAGE II AUOl'XD AIIOUT An eastern editor snya Hint a man lu Now York gets himself Into trouble by marrying two wives. A western editor icplies that many 'men In that section hntl done tho .eaiua by marrying one. A north lorn editor reports that quite u num ber of his nciiimliitnucc found troub le enough by barely promising to marry without going any further. 'A southern editor says that a friend of his wan bothered enough wncn simply found In company with nn 'other ninn's wife. I smile-a-while (Composed by us In collaboration with sovcral knights of tho grin.) How dear to my heart nro tho days of tho stages Whon fond recollections present thorn to vlow. Tho tilps Into Floronco nnd Drain, that took nges; The scenes that wo travol'd for days to go through. The gallant ship "Gnsco;" tho old "Jurvls Landing;" Tho walk on tlio sand Bplt In mom's early dnwnj The old dcatl-ax wagon wo waited for, standing All cold In tho mist till It carried us on. Chorus: The old dead nx wngon. tho Iron tired wagon, Tho sprlngless seat wagon Jolted us on. You kin usually spot n candidate oven In th' biggest crowd. Wntch 'How gaily wo plung'd through the for n feller that looks llko he'd Jest THE GOOD HABITS rou have, never get you In bad fed tho linblt of coming to Cook's Grocery PEA8 (canned) . UK; lUJc, l.c, 1715c HOe, U3c T0.MAT0K8 (canned) .: .....-. i ....... .H t-iW, UK; V2)iv, 15c SWAN COHN SALAD Oil. ((t. bottlo) :c CO-COA v. & -"' -",'' !lr'c AI'PI.K M'TTKIl (glass) '.". -", 5c, 15c chick foods, giuts.siiells, ground done, dei:f scmiaps HAM BACON LARD SEE COOK'S GROCERY P; : d 1H0. ROMPT OPULAR ROGRESSIVE thnt MEAN HKMAHKK OF TIIK WATER FRONT OIISEltVKR CBN' pin i.i Politics KNTHAL Avenoo is th' popular aco for candidates nowadays, boln' th' street where th' voters 13 thickest. Th' flower ov our manhood Is of ferln' Itself nt this time in th' peo ple's servico, belli' wlllln' to sncrltico Itsa own fortunes to save th' County an' Stato from rooln. As each candidates clatmB to hov th' right reccipo, nn' furthor claims that th' recolpo ov his opponont ought by rights to hov a plz.cn lnbcl pasted on to It, nn' as th' votors can't af ford to mako no mistakes lu th' present perilous crisis, th' moment Is tcnto. fr -S- I A Good SIKn. Harry MeKoown re ports that lots moro iicoplo nio bolng entertained nt tho Cliandlar dining fronm tho last fow wocltB. Tho fact That moro pcaplo aro eating regularly Is ono of tho best Indications of pros perity Hint wo'vo noticed. SSI I Wi-A-WII I UK 1 ford nt tho "Ton MSIo" And laughed nt cold foot whon tho surf filled our shoes; And clung to our seats nnd our bng- gago llko men, whllo Wo dashed through tho torrent and scoffed at tho blues. Then up on tho beach, half tho time In the wntor, Townrtls Winchester Bay whore the "Eva" lny moored Wliero tho stout hearted Jimmy Trom Gardiner had brought her To tako up tho fares for tho pnliiB wo endured. Chorus: Tho staunch stonmcr Eva, tho gallant ship Kvn, Tho flro-bolchlng 3va thnt "gild" us along. Then on up tho river to Scottsburg's fair situs; Where wo tarried mid scenes that so often wo saw; ind retired In tho wild hopo thnt nothing would blto us, And thauk'd a kind Ilcav'n for tho nine foot sheet, law. Thon up In tho morning for fried eggs ami bncon, And back In tho wngou nutl out on tho rond; Wo frottcd nnd stowed nt tho tlmo wo woro ninkln', And hoofed through tho "cut-off" to lighten tho loud. laid nb'Ido n first class grouch, torn pornr'ly an' look up entertalnln' nn' fngroeablo manners for th' tlmo be- In' nn' beln' ns bo's loft his grouch 'whero ho kin find It, scoins to bo .onjoylu' til chnngo, nltho' ho gits bored sometimes. J A follor who's nlvus agreeablo wouldn't run strong, uh ho wouldn't bo contfldorcd to hcv enough "ctlgo." jllr.t when a niiiii who's most glnorally a crnb comes out ov IiIh shell nn nets mnnnorly people fool complimented, 'an mobbo votes for him on th' stron'th ov It. What I can't got through my nog gin Is why so many rantlldntcs nt tuts Dunctiiro thinks "fewer lnwa" Is u good wnr whoop. I alwun thought vo olocled candidates on pttrposo to hmnko laws for us, to tako koor of dlff'ront kinds ov now dovlltry as reamo wuz Invented. I reckon If theso chnnipeons ov th' people wim runnln tqr business mnnngor ov n sawmill tholr plr.tform 'ud bo "fowor flogs. ), HO.1l I -fiMI LEJA-WI I LE ! SHOE PIIII.OSOIMIV CKNTItAli AVENUE JOTTINGS Hotter Tlmn tliu Host. Hob Mara den, who has always shown "tho best films on earth" nt tho Xoblo Theatre, 'sr.yB that ho will bo nblo to get much hotter films now that tho railroad sorvtco 13 available. SM I LE-A-W1I I LE Ploiiso Forget It. Gcorgo AnlcRcr snys tho puns on his nnuio which twist It Into "Anarchy" or "Arnica" woro nil played out hack In Peoria, and ho hopes Marshflcld Jokers will pleaso refrain, or Invent something now. SM I LE-A-WII I LE a way to close Mill Slough. Al bert need not got so chesty, llo Is not tho only ono In town to bo honored. Wilson Kaufman has been nominated to be n meuibor of the Saturday Evening Post and Doc Toyo Is on tho wnltlng list of the Ladles Homo Journal. SMILE-A-WHILE Its mi 111 Wind. W. A. Acker man omployed considerable clo 'qiionco about two weeks ngo In con viiiclug the city council that a ban ner flung across tho squnro nt Con trnl avonuo and Drondwny, with his nnmo on It, would glvo tho city n metropolitan nppenrancc. Ho didn't put up thq banner, but ho madb It easy for tho commltteo to got per mission to put a similar ono up for K-vnngollst Druco Evans. Central Awuuo seems to bo n popular plnco for both religion and politics. SMIfiK-A-WIIITiK f lot Opportunity. Henry Dlcrs, Coos Hay's official stntlstlcnn, ought to havo boon engaged to koop track of tho nmount of gnrbngo disposed of on clean up day In tho Interest of tho City lndnorntor project. What has becomo of that, nnywny? SMI I,K-A-V1 1 1 IjK There Is this to say for rich rola tlvcs. Ono bccs very llttlo of thoni Yanop TIIK XKW WONDER $12.50 MIONOGUAPII Pln,VH Victor, Cohuiibln. dr any 10 or llMiuli dl records, Coiuo In nnd hear It. II MARSHFIELD NEWS CO. 08 CENTRAL AVE. (Formerly Frlccn's) Wo deliver nny inngnzlno or periodical on dnto of I.msiio :: :: :: :: Mlxtltiotcil . Harry .Hultmnnn says ho wis not correctly quoted lu 'his nccount of his recent trip. Tho newspapers' played up tho automo bile nccltlont, nnd his narrow cscapo therein, whllo what ho really Intend ed to complain about was tho rivo ho had to walk. SMIIiK-A-'WHlLn taHMHMMHMMMMMMM If it isn't an ANSCO it isn't the best $2.00 to $55.00 i Films and Developing REH FE LD'S 220 Central Avenue Marshflcld In (irnvu Danger. Davo Stnfford ifnyB It has been tho munition of his life for tho past thrco years to got u fllttlo rest from business. Xc.v thnt ho hns sold out, and hns tho covetod leisure, ho don't know what to no f with hlmsolf, nnd fours his character klB bolng so undermined thnt ho mr.y bo driven Into politics. ' SM I IdNA-WWIiK An InrrtMiHliiK Kvll. A man In 'Wo lunched thou nt Elktou on (vol coma fried chicken And climbed on tho wagon to tako tho last lab; Myrtlo Point Ih suing his wlfo for n divorce bocnuso sho called btin'n fool. KWhat nro wo coming to when such 'engaging frankness on tho part of a Lwlfo, to say nothing of lior moro ox- orcleo of a wltos porogntlyo, is nolo Gordon, whoso solo aim ls ur conns 10 do groun.- vi: lug up a family SM I LK-A -Wl 1 1 F,K 'J We Have Today New Potatoes Green Peas ASPARAGUS, RHUBARB, CELERY, RADISHES, all iizes of ORANGES from 20c per dozen up. Apples, BANANAS, also all vegetables and fruits that are In the market. Next Monday Afternoon We will receive our first shipment of the Famous Holstim and Tip Top Bread This bread is sanitary, wrapped by special process and comes clean and untouched from one of the largest, nest and most modern bakeries on the Pacific coast. It is mads clean sold clean and delivered clean. Bread sold Monday afternoon is made fresh Monday ni?rning. Let us have your order for this good bread scientifically made in a modern bake shop and sold and Delivered in a sanitary manner. Watch for the first shipment of "Holsum" and "Tip Top bread. Fresh daily. , Sanitary Food Store Sll VICE FIRST . (Formerly Nusburg's Grocery.) III0B 218 SECOND AND CENTRAL Harry Ito sell Holes nnd suvo his own, hnnib Tim nnnstcr editor tho followlnir ns einbrnslng abmo of his phllos-L ophy: How much a man Ih llko old shoes. For Instance both a salir can loso, Doth havo been taiineil , both nro mndo tight, Uy cobblors, botirget loft nnd right. fAud weariness grow, as our uaco " "PC'1 n ,na, ,0 " complete didn't quicken; Anii notn nro matio io go on icoi. Twas too nnbllq for tears, nutl jAVItli allocs tho last Is first; with too rough for n nap. mnn Kin nl1,. nn.l illlratv ntl.l ,l,lalv,TlU) flTSt HlUlll DO 1110 Indl nllll Voblcle OviiciM Tluitcntsl.- Jack Cnrter announces thnt all those who aro dollnquont In tho pnymont of their vehicle tnx nro to bo pinched "next week." If ovorybotly Jack Iuih Jover throntonod to pinch "next week" had been arrested nnd modorntoly 'tlnod, City warnints woultl now bo nt par. Wo should worry. SMII.K-A-WIflliK nnd weary, ' Wo pull'd up nt Inst In tho city of Drain; And took a quick "istibIi" nt tho inn, nnd felt Bincary, And Blghed with rellof ns wo cut for tho train. Alas, for tho days that havo faded and vunlBh'd, Their Joys nnd tholr hardships in momory burn; lint now thnt tho trials of staging nro lnvnlsli'd, Willi Joy to tho plonmiro of Pull mans -wo turn. Thoy'vo boon long a-romlng, wo'vo pntlontly waited Whllo long weary years of expec- ' tancy lmssod. ' rllut now Its our turn to bo wildly elated, Tho doggoned old railroad has got bore at last. I'tltntmai wnnon chorus softlv. with sob effect,) HMIIK-A-WHILK Don't lllnuio llliu. Goorgo Cook snytt hn's gottlug almighty tlrod of whon tiics.0 joKors rororring 10 ins iivo Tim almnu wnnr nil (linv'rn niniulnil hllllgulOWH Oil EiKlltll TorrUCO US i too When mon wear out, Ihoy'ro men dead (no. Thoy both need heeling, both solod, "CookhoiiHos." This Is going a llt tlo too far, ovon In a section whero tho uoiuonclnturo of tho lumber ro- (f amps Is common. Trunk liorcon lunys Its a good lesson to ono who lias And both In tlmo turn nil to mould, to Iivo In tho houses, Indicating tlint Thoy both nro trop upon, nnd both .'ho Bhould own bis own homo. Will tread on othorH, nothing loath. Doth bnvo tholr .ties, and both lu- cllno, Whon polished, -on tho world lo shine. Thoy both pog nut. bo would you chooso To bo a man or bo Ma shoos? SM I I.K.A. W 1 1 1 J a: Wiuitcd Ills MouoyV Worm. I.ynn Lnmhotlr took n man out to t PERSONAL MENTION t , t .WILSON KAUFMAN says he has j two umbrellas and several books I that are hooping Lent. Ilosobtirg tho other day In his big car I.ynn Is nlwnyB lu a rush to "get there," and drovo at Biicb a paco that the passenger wub about a foot above tho scat of the car a llttlo rmoro than hnlf tho tlmo. Aftor a few mllcH of this tho paHsengnr bo came nervous, and shouted out: "Here, driver, Just slow down n llttlo bit, will you? I paid for this soat, I anil uy jiinmiuy 1 proiioso to nun in it." 8MT,K.A.WHITjE . Wl'FF 1 FRANK hAISE who has been read ing In Tho Booster that this Is leap year 3ays: "If you meet a young lady who Is not vory shy you bad better bo a llttlo ahy yourself." W AM) let AUTOISTS DON'T MISS THIS e havo Just nut In stnoir of lm f.niimia Mcfiinw Tires, mndo tbo world. -VAhUKS, IV TIIK MAKFHS MinM,ni'80!,t ",Uo Ul' nlltl tl,bo fa(to,,i' ,u , vV. ,l5 AX,) SKItVICK IS (Jl'AItANTKKD ls We. i mako adJuitnioiits on tbo Mt. fonio hi uud us show j on. Marshtield Hardware Co. "oadws The best hi tho Unrdwure Hue vay ami Central Avenue Phono at 3ALU nuWai JOHN C. KENDALL, the W. Is a cliain- k. at tornoy and candidate plon smoko ring blower. Arthur Peck, also a candidate, says It alnt always so, but, as a rule, a sinoke-rlng blower don't caro much for useful labor. ; SMILK-A-WHILE . Sho cannot sing the old songs jshe sahg In days of yore; Bho can not thump tho keyboard now un- itll her thumbs are sore. Alas! t'pon tho planny sho never .more will play; she failed In her Install- ments and Lew Thomas took tlio t thing away. ', SMILE-A-WHIIJ? SMII.K-A-WHILK .Many Xitiibt'N. J. Albert Mat 3on who tinea huslnosH on Front Stroot but lives on Central hns been notified Hint ho has boon nominat ed UK n member of tho Niitlnunt Geographical Society which linn hoadquurtorn In Washington, D. C, Ho has consontod to become a mom lior but does not know who pro posed his nnmo or what for un Iojs It was hccniiBO ho discovoretl JfKBo Terrell had a llttlo dog Ho called the- doggy Noodle, When asked his pedlgreo ho said, "Oh, Its Jii3t.a Shampoodla". SMILK-A-WIIILK OLD SAWS HKSKT (To J. T. Harrlgan) Now here Is ono splold Dy my old friend Juck: "A 'crick In tho field Is worth two In the back." . SMIM-WI!IL-K SPItlXC POKM There was soino snow, but Its Lent! Winter's wont! Winter's went! It'3 a llttlo chilly, but all the same, Spring hs came! Spring has ramo! FRANK IIARLOCKJCU SM I LK-A-WH! LIC APHID I, .1. P. MOIK.'AX Al CO. WIIOTK A CHECK FOIt OVEIt $70,000,000 Tlio lurgiv-l rhwk oier ilrami. If (Clio Croslliwalt tould writo a check for over M'ciity nilllloii ilollarH, tbo (linnet's nro lio uoiild mako a prcs out or hi Intel est hi THE SMOKE HOUSE to .Hiii Kclloud ami Frod McCfccM. Hut, as II Is, bo gooN rlgbt on helling good cigarN, nutl KL ItOlTAX Ih uiiHing (bo lH-ht. A guiiio of lillllanl., or your fn voiilo iimgiilno may nlo liu foiiutl lit ... 1 tiC,t Smokehouse CVntral Avenue' Popular .Meeting Placo l-'or Men. Gono Crosthwalt Jim Kolloud Fred McClees. lll'SIXESS PUEPAKEDXESS Consists In possessing tho very lntest and best offlco equipment mid no office Is fully prepared without ono of our 42 Ccntlmotor Itomlugton Typewriter.. Thoy flro tho shots that batter down the fortifications of old fogylsm and bring back as prisoners plenty of orders. Hen Mu About. Tonus I L W- JACOBS 7!l Central Aveiiuo. WE AUK AGENTS FOIt THE Phono 'J.1U-J. "DICTAPHONE" Commencing tomorrow wo will servo a fluo ' MIIItCHANTS LUNCH fiom II to !:!() for only ilOc It will consls of a nlcoly bnlunccd monu Including soup, roast, snlati, a piece or plo, tea or u eo. All dollclously cooked In tho Sartor wny. Light Lunches All Day nnd Evening- SARTER'S DEW DROP INN Central Avenue Don't Forget the Light Lunches You Want Good Insurance Prompt adjustments of Thfat's the kind I write, all losses. Fire, Life, Accident and Casualty. Ilavo Just added to my lino ono of tbo leading Iho-stovk 1 Mil-unco companion In tlio United State, In. E. I. Chandler Coko Itiillillug MarMiflcId Teach Your Children to Save Money It's the First Step in the art of getting ahead. See that they have a Savings account IN THIS BANK First National Bank HOME OF THE SAVER Marshfield, of Coos Bay Oregon DIt. W. A. TOVE, DENTIST Hours 9 to 12; 1 to 5. rinnorniu. innklne. th Pnos Iiav' Ilonm GO I, Irving llltlg. avwiw -- 0 t- tr man who has a quarrM with tho law is caught Uolatlng It. rntrnl Avemiti. aiiiroiint'iu T) 12 PU O mill CONTINUOUS WELCO.ME. Vou can't untertnln prosper. Uy, mi) body, or enjoy life properly youmclf unless you have music lu the home SEE US AT ONCE. Thomas Music Company Consolidation of Wiley It. Allen nod W. H. Haines Music Stocks 0:t Central Avenue, PLAN TO TAKE - Sumdlay Dinner AT THE Chandler Hotel The Hub of Central Avenue A GOOD .MENU t- J 1