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THE COOS BAY TIMES. MARSHFIELD, OREGON, FRIDAY, APRIL 9, 1915 EVENING EDITION.
THREE
The Central Avenue Booster
m i ii
CKXTKAIj AVEXUK, Fill DAY, AlMUli I), 11)15
No. ill;.
VOf'.
DEPENDABLE
That's the word that applies to
"THE OWL"
Frank D. Cohan.
"The Central Avenue Drug Store."
Kodaks and Supplies
Ym Ner Boost "Yourself By Kmioclkle
TIIK CUXTUATi AVKXl'K ItOOSTKIl
i Published Ktcry Friday In (he Inter
est.s of Coos liny In Gcnontl nnd
Central Aicnito In paitlculur.
Subscription Price. Your good will,
nnd membership In tho Uooster Club
m:mi:miji:h'.v
STAMPED GOODS
Sow llnlh Tow cIm, lurjte and Hiimll Laundry Mugs Haby Itllis
iiinliliintl Suits Combing .Iiifltclt. Slniiii'd lliiiiseliiilil Uncus
Tlio I'linioiis MnrlW'llo Toll ft Aitlcles.
"" cirr a HiiKiiKAS Fi.ovvint ioit that i:asti:u spit
MARY ELIZABETH'S SHOP
TUN 'SHOP THAT'tf i)ipki:hi:nt.
IIUSSKMj IlUIIiDIXG
StiS CICXTK.Uj ayiixui:
Everything for- the Garden and Lawn
Garden Tools; Garden Hose,
Lawn Mowers,
See Our Windows.
Marshfield Hardware Co.
Oil, don't you remember tlio bnll
I games, Hon Holt,
I ' The ball gnmes wo plnyed years
ngo?
Wo plnyed on n humpy old two-by-i
four lot
And walloped tho bull to nnd fro.
And don't you remember tlio runs,
lien Holt?
Tho runs Hint woro mntlo by tho
score?
Tho count nt tho end of tho glor
ious fray.
Wns ono hundred lo seventy-four.
And don't you remember tho chill,
lien Dolt,
L The chill that wont through every
vein
When n homo run went over a neigh
bor's fence
And blng! wont n window pnno?
FRANK COHAN.
SMILK-A-WHIMl
This is CLEAN-UP Month
am) vi: aim: pukpahkd with kyi:hytiiix(! xi:i:di:d iiv
iiousnwiviw for tiiij
Spring House Cleaning
llcio Is a list Chloride of Mine, I,yc, Dutch Clenn.ei', Penillne,
Cllius Ponder, (.'old Dust, Soup Chips, Kapollo, lion Ami Powder
oml Ciil.es, Clothes Plus, Clothes Unos, Ammonia illiilug, Soaps
cf nil kinds Scrub, Pot and Hlnk llrtislies, Hrooiiw, Mops.
COOK'S
GROCERY
ROMPT
OPULAR
ROGRESSIVE
Phono 1HI).
ED. MEADE
Sells Pugsley's Candy at the
KANDY NOOK
Also Cigars and Tobacco.
Noble Theatre. Central Avenue.
I guarantee my cleaning to be the very
best you can obtain on Coos Bay, and I
am prepared to prove it. .
Jay Doyle, the Cleaner.
Phono 250.X - Central Avenue.
AVlll call anywhere any lime.
Marino
Hro
Auto
E. I. CHANDLER.
- Insurance
Accident
Plato Glass
Burglary
COKE BUILDING
Marshfield Oregon
Till; city OMUXKHS io now located net to tlio Chamber
' l'o leire. Wo luivo Installed the latest combined Meant board
ond steam pies.hr nnd wo know how to operate It. Wo have tho
"ly Do Vnsher Dry Cleaning, Ste.un Pulsing outfit on tho Hay.
We solicit any w oik you have. Yehets to jour nleo white couth,
,!i't. Milts ami overcoats, all nrehhetl tho haiiltary way and tho
l""H'r way. Steam pressing- inlscs tho imp and taUes tho hhlno
""t of liluo herjie. i:ery niticlo Rimi-anteed. Jtefeience tiiiplleI
ulm Kipiest. For dyeing or special woik phono us. Wo will
fr and deliver free. CIIAS. 1 TRIIHY,
Xct to Chamber of Commerce.
Phone 399 City Cleaners
How about that new piano?
We have a fine line of instruments to select from.
Terms can be arranged to suit your convenience.
CUXTHAIj AVIJXU13 .10TTIXGS
4
Krelter as a Cook. Dorsey Krclt
zer on his wny Knst found tlmo
to dope n new dish which he cnlls
"Prosperity Pudding." and he told us
us to put It In tho First National
Unnk nd, In Tho Uooster this week
and wo did. You mny rend It
there.
SMUiK-A-WIIIM-:
Pays to Advertise. The far rench
lug effects of ndvortlslng in Tho
Uooster wns proved when n man
came to Tho Times offlco looking for
tho "light" Job nt tho "electric
light" office, which wnB advertised
In InBt week's Uooster. Guess we'll
linvo to put n tng on our "Jonks"
after this.
s.Mii.i:-A-winiii:
PltOIIIIHTlOX ITU.MS
A four-bonded rabbit with green
eyes whipped n hunter nnd killed
two dogs In Curry County.
A red, 'whlto nnd bluo coyote
wnlkcd Into n Myrtlo Point drug
Moro nnd bit tho bartender on the
log.
A purple Snolllngostor with long
lnk hnlr wnndercd Into tho Wng
n cr enmp nnd nto tho cook.
A scarlet glrnffo, with corlso
wings, chased n Coqulllo man nnd
s'olo n pint of wood nlcohol from
hlu
A Ilnndon mnn reports n despor
nto buttle between n ninety-foot
boa constructor wlth.threo tails nnd
an orange and green-striped sea lion
witli f.lxUcn logs. '
S.MIIJC-A-WIHbi:
PIAIX NXOUOH.
(Dedicated to Guy Chambers gone
but not forgotton.)
"Whoro Ignornnco Is bliss
TIb folly to bo wlso;"
Iloflcctlhg upon this
Wo understand soma Guys.
Jim Kollond.
s.Miiii:..-wiiiiii:
XKW HAXK DIHKCTOK.
"Well, I'm n bnnk director now,"
remarked 'Geno Crosthwnlto yester
day, ns ho punched tho tlmo lock
on tho show enso in tho Smokohouso.
"Go 'way!" commented Doc.
Ilousoworth, who was Just Bottling
for n gnmo of bnsebnll.
"Yop," said Geno. "A stranger
camo out of tho Chnudlor this morn
ing nnd nskod mo to direct him to
tho ncnrcHt bank, nnd I directed him
to tho First National."
SMHii:-AWIIIbK
CIDDAP.
J, h. Masson, of Myrtlo Point, wns
liero tho other day nnd handed In
tho following to tho pootry editor:
Tho mule may soom real alow, but
Gee!
Ho does ns ho Is bid.
Ills spark plug nover falls, nnd ho
Is never known to skid.
smim:..-wiiim2 ;
Itaseb.ill Manager Crosthwnlto of
tho Central avc II. 11. II. U which
menus Centrnl Avenue usy oosters
use nil Club, Is getting his men
Hned up for practice and they will
probably leave for tho training camp
Sunday. 'Gene snys It will muku tho
manager of tho lloston world chnmps
green with envy whun they see his
line up.
SMlbK-A-WIIIIii:
PERSONAL MENTION
-i
g Someomi Eke
V S. C1IANDM3K Is onco moro a
fniulllnr figure on our streots, nnd
Is getting tho glad hand from nil
the lloosters.
smimca-whim:
AI.F JOHNSON, who Is rolnted to
tho family, snys ho doesn't know
whether tho progeny of tho Stnn
ley Dollnr family shnll bo known
ns little Dollars or small change.
SMIMNA-WHIUl
GICOHGK ANOKItSON Is springing a
new one. Ho saya If you would
go Into the bnseincnt In tho dark
would the coal chute? No, but tho
kindling wood. Pretty good Joke,
George.
SMIMC-A-WIIIbi:
Klks Celebrate. Tlio Hlks front
all over Coos County assembled on
Centrnl nvcnuo Wednesday eve
ning nnd mndo tho welkin ring with
Joy nnd other things. They nro n
Jolly crowd nnd nlmost ns loud ns
Chot Hilling's clothes. Wo are al
ways glnd to seo 'em nnd tlioy al
ways find a warm wolcomo, and
other things on Central nvcnuo.
Como ngnln, boys.
SMUiK-A-WIIIM:
ICI). MKADi:, of tho Knndy Nook, Is
receiving much eiirourngomeiit
over his new book that ho Is
about to publish. A friend In
Klamath Falls ordered six coplus
nnd snld he would take six moru
ns soon ns ho henn) from Doe
Strnw that ho would emlorso his
check.
SMIIiK-A-WHIM:
Jluriigan Writes A. K. Ncff was
in receipt ot'n lottoi1 this woek from
Mr. nnd Mrs. J, T. Harrlgan, who
nro sojourning In the plensni)t high
ways nnd by-ways of I.os Angolcs.
Mr. Harrlgnn's hcnlth Is grqatlyi Im
proved, but they miiko'ito inon'tlon
of tho dato of tholr roturn. Noff
thinks this wns deleted by tho cen
sor nnd thnt Harrlgan is having n
fow 13 centlmotor guns mounted on
his nutomoblla for tho coming sum
mer campaign,
SMIIiK-A-WIIIIiK
lltisluehs Conditions. Goo. K.
Cook hold n council this weok to
discuss tho sltuntlon. Jny Doylo
snld business wns pressing, hut Geo.
It. Anderson roportcd It stntlonery.
Hay Olllvnnt snld there woro G7 vnr
lotles. Al Noff -ays everything gets
hnrd-wear at his placo and Ivy Con
ilron Is tho prosporlty Ploneor. Frank
Cohan says Good Hougolooplng and
good times go togothor whllo tho
mnn at tho Knndy Nook gets his
Mcndo of good tilings ns ho goes
nlong, nnd Davo Stafford says dull
times would got snatched bnld
headed thoro. Honry Songstnckon
snys ho Is nblo to abstract a llttlo
prosporlty nil tho time. 'Geno
Crosthwnlto said "Smoko up!", U'h
n "plpo."
8MIIiK-AWIIIbK
J)H. AY. A. TOYK,
DENTIST
! Hours D to 12; 1 to G.
ltoom 201, Irving Uhlg.
Central Avenue. Miir.slifleld 4
Before Parting
With Your Money
IX IIl'YIXO ItBAb EfiTATK SKCUItK
A COMI'IiETB AIISTIIAOT FItOM
THE
Title Guarantee and
Abstract Co.
Which Is prepared to turn out First
Class work, 'inis win save you au
uoyanco and expense afterwards. We
also look after assessments and pay-
I raent of taxes.
i Marshfield offlco In Coko llulldlng
opposite CliaiiUler Hotel. Phono
I J-l-J.
Coqulllo Office adjoining Farm
ers' Hunk Mock. Phono 101.
Ilamlon Office, McXalr liullding.
Itiisluess Hotter. 'Gono Crosth
wnlto, prop, of tho SmokohoiiBo, snys
his tobacco sales have Increased llko
everything slnco ho offored a prize
of an umbrella to whoover would
snvo r000 tin tobacco tags. No mut
ter what kind. Slnco thon tho users
or tho weed nro using moro weed
than usual trying to win the prize.
As wo go to press "Dad" Welch
nnd "Shoot tho Moon" Georgo nru
nlmost neck and neck, as you might
am "Dad" has saved up 4 tags
'nnd George -1. Doc Ilousoworth was
I thinking of being a contestant, but
us ho got stuck on tho last series
of baseball ho Is soro on 'Geno and
ho suys as how It Is JiiBt llko 'Oeno
' to offer an unmbrella prlzo when
' tho rainy season Is over. Ho says
rext Decombor tho prlzo will prob
, ably bo a picnic basket.
SMII,i;.a-wiiiiji; i
i A ClWriXO ItCMAKIC
"Where Is tho barber who usod
to havo the middle chulr?" asked
.Frank' Cohan, as ho dropped Into
Jesso Terrell's yesterday.
' "We had to let him go," replied
(Jesse, "Ho had too much talent?"
' "Whndda 'ya mean, talent?"
Frank Insisted.
"Ho got so ho Illustrated his
stories with cuts when ho was
shaving peoplo," Jesso explained.
smiu:-a-wiiiu:
DIt. JOHNSON, of Myrtlo Point, wns
n . Central Avenue vlHltor Inst
week. Doc snys , since Myrtlo
Point has got to bo n humming
metropolis ho comes over here
now and thon for rest and change
but ho snys Landlord McKcown
gets most of tho chango nnd the
S. P. Knllrond gets tho rost.
SMIIiK-A-WHir,i:
SUPT. IIAKKK, of Couulllo, wns In
our midst this week looking over
our schools. Supt. linker snys
thnt Marshfield spouds moro
mo n oy for schools now Hinu llos
ton did in 1818. Yes, mid It Is
spending sovernl times ns much
us Portland did In 1818 so that
tho big town on tho Wlllnmotto
needn't fool so nll-flred puffod up
because of Its Hoso Show.
smim:-a-whH(H
B. P. ADAMS enmo over from Myrtlo
Point Wednesday Kvo Adama
Kvo get mo, Stovo? Woll, ho re
turned Thursday with J. 10. Knight
nnd ho says Chat Hilling's nnmo
should bo chnugod to Howling.
Adams looked moro surprised than
tho first Adam when ha bit tho
npphj. Adams snys If tho Allies
could got n fow Hlks goats they
would drlvo tho Gormnus out of
tho trenches in Bhort drdor,
sMiriK-A-wniu;
FHANK COHAN, of "Tho Owl," snya
ho Is trying to domonstrnto the
scientific accuracy of Kdlson's tho
ory of sleep, nnd no vacations.
Whllo his assistant, Clny Church
.Is laid up Frank Is breaking nil
tMnrathon records for closo atten
tion to buslnoss. Ho makes tho
steadiness of an 8-day clock look
llko the peregrinations of a Cook
tourist hi tho wnr zono dodging
bullets from both sides.
SMIIii:-A-WHII,R
A WOHI l-'Olt YOU
So llttlo penco wo'ro having
So brlof tho flying yenrs,
V.o tho thunder do your growling,
And tho clouds weep till your
tears.
A. K. Noff.
Get The
Pacific League
Base Ball Scores
AT TIIH
I
Smokehouse
Every Evening.
Baseball Too,
It's Great.
THE
Smokehouse
CIIAXDI,i:iC IIOTKh llf.DO.
CKXTltAb AVHXUIJ.
Get Haines Guaranteed Flour
What's tho use of fooling with flour of an unknown quality
w uQvy hack of flour joii buy from HAIXKS Is backed by a
giiaraiiteo of satlsfui tlon or money back.
U It leabonablo to hiijiposo that wo would guaniiilco flour If wo
weit not hiiro It would rIvo satlhfuctlonV Order u Kick today and
If It does not Rlvo joii hntlsfactory rcMilts joii get your money
back. JIAIXKS lakes nil tho hances.
FLOyj), Fi:i) AND HAY.
, W. DKNNKTT, the pop. nnd woll
know'n Front street flnnnclor, wna
n visitor on Centrnl Avonuo
Wednesday night. Whon first
seen enrly In tlio evening, J. W.
looked llko tho cultured nnd cour
teous gentleman ho Is nlwnys, but
Inter thnt night ho looked as If
ho had been In the trenches with
tho Allies fighting tho Gormnus.
And It wns some fight, too. J.
W. Boys ho hnd no Idea tho Klls
brought their goats in from the
North Pole, nnd while It looks
llko n chilly proposition, they
ir.ado It hot enough lioforo tho
finish. Come ngnln, Joe.
A lt.VGIXd IXTKHIOIt.
"I novor Hnw such a mnn ns you
nro," remnrked tho Central avenue
! man 16 tlu Knocker, thn other iinv.
"1 really bellovo you hato your
self." Well, why shouldn't I?" thd
Knocker replied. "My mother Is
Kngllfh and my father Is Gorman."
HMIIiK-A-WHir.K
Cheer up! itot -In mournful num
bers ' v
Tell us buslnoss Is n dream:
. For the man must wakoj that
summers t
Stick around nnd get the (Ico)
cream D, Y. Stafford.
mmHmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Stafford's Fountain
FOIt DUIXKS THAT AUK SAXITAHY AXI) HKFItlCSHIXn
THY Ol'It "TIPPIJHAHY Sl'XIlAi:" MONDAY, Oil AXY OTH
DAY. YOU'Mj blKK IT.
YOU KXOW THIJ DKIdCIOL'SXIvSS
CIIOCOIiATKS.
OF STAFFOHD'S
PL'Hi: l'OODS with a money-back guarantee. This is our motto
ami on this basts w'o have built up n steady, fastidious trade.
You cannot bo too critical to suit us; it Is tho hard-to-plaso
customer whom wo know wo can satisfy; tho ono who will pay
i llttlo moro for real Puro Food Products, nnd insist on having
thorn.
This Is tho "Quality" satisfaction thnt means hcnlth and comfort
to you, and thu right trndu for Us, j
Another thing whothor you telophone, como" or send, your
Puro Food domnnds will bo fnlthfully supplied.
OUivant &- W
eaver ( ;
PUUK FOOD .OHOCKHS.
TIIK HDMi: OF IJKIXK 7 VAltllCTIKS
Phono 100.
Corner Central Avonuo and Third ' Street.
PIONEER GROCERY CO.
Phone 84 :: :: :: :: :: 81 Central Avenue
Wo havo Just received n frchh supply of local and California
FHUITS AXI) YKGKTAIUiKH KverjthliiR In tho pmrkot.
For those who plant garden wo havo a full line of HKKDS la
bulk and packages, al.so FKUTIMKKItH.
Heiuember, wo are agents for CIIAHI3 .i KAXUOUX'S HI.'Ab
HHAXD COFKMi: am! CAXXISTKIt TI3AS.
Coos Bay Stationery Co.
Oil CKXTHAb AVIC.l'IIOXU l!I0
Sole Agents Carters Ideal
Typewriter Ribbons and Carbon Papers.
If it's Carters Ideal it's a good deal.
PROSPERITY PUDDING.
Tuko two cups of thrift, three ounces of common henso, u pieus
1110 of foieslght nnd a pint of prociiutloii, Mix, lient mid tlr
well, adding extract " determliiatloii to save (wirt of which you
nuiko each week or each mouth. Splco with n rmh! uatured grin.
'11 1 In Is not a hasty pudding; tho baking In a progressive procesa
and should ho out rusted only to a specially safeRiiardtsI and con
slaiilly attended oen this good, reliable growing bank,
$1.00
" WIMi OPKX THIJ ACCOUNT. ' " '
' First Natioinia!
Eaek
Of Coos Bay '
Central Avenue Marshfidld, Oregon
PLAN TO TAKE
SUNDAY DINNER
AT THE
Chandler Hotel
TU Hub of
!ul
W
m
s
1
i a
m
Bo Allen Co
Phone 1H-.
i Henry Sengstacken
HAINES
L. L, THOMAS, Mgr.