KTj PUMfMM'JipWWHII'fM nm i WIIJflJTI" IV,'WVH? tt-s w.w f" Twlrrr iBffiHiUUWlMUja8Ba rfrfw ?rfi itnuimii ,vWrW!W,sTfr'w?f " T Wif WW1 "ynr.yifWff' H THE COOS BAY TIMES. MARSHFIELD, OREGON, FRIDAY, APRIL 9, 1915 EVENING EDITION. THREE The Central Avenue Booster m i ii CKXTKAIj AVEXUK, Fill DAY, AlMUli I), 11)15 No. ill;. VOf'. DEPENDABLE That's the word that applies to "THE OWL" Frank D. Cohan. "The Central Avenue Drug Store." Kodaks and Supplies Ym Ner Boost "Yourself By Kmioclkle TIIK CUXTUATi AVKXl'K ItOOSTKIl i Published Ktcry Friday In (he Inter est.s of Coos liny In Gcnontl nnd Central Aicnito In paitlculur. Subscription Price. Your good will, nnd membership In tho Uooster Club m:mi:miji:h'.v STAMPED GOODS Sow llnlh Tow cIm, lurjte and Hiimll Laundry Mugs Haby Itllis iiinliliintl Suits Combing .Iiifltclt. Slniiii'd lliiiiseliiilil Uncus Tlio I'linioiis MnrlW'llo Toll ft Aitlcles. "" cirr a HiiKiiKAS Fi.ovvint ioit that i:asti:u spit MARY ELIZABETH'S SHOP TUN 'SHOP THAT'tf i)ipki:hi:nt. IIUSSKMj IlUIIiDIXG StiS CICXTK.Uj ayiixui: Everything for- the Garden and Lawn Garden Tools; Garden Hose, Lawn Mowers, See Our Windows. Marshfield Hardware Co. Oil, don't you remember tlio bnll I games, Hon Holt, I ' The ball gnmes wo plnyed years ngo? Wo plnyed on n humpy old two-by-i four lot And walloped tho bull to nnd fro. And don't you remember tlio runs, lien Holt? Tho runs Hint woro mntlo by tho score? Tho count nt tho end of tho glor ious fray. Wns ono hundred lo seventy-four. And don't you remember tho chill, lien Dolt, L The chill that wont through every vein When n homo run went over a neigh bor's fence And blng! wont n window pnno? FRANK COHAN. SMILK-A-WHIMl This is CLEAN-UP Month am) vi: aim: pukpahkd with kyi:hytiiix(! xi:i:di:d iiv iiousnwiviw for tiiij Spring House Cleaning llcio Is a list Chloride of Mine, I,yc, Dutch Clenn.ei', Penillne, Cllius Ponder, (.'old Dust, Soup Chips, Kapollo, lion Ami Powder oml Ciil.es, Clothes Plus, Clothes Unos, Ammonia illiilug, Soaps cf nil kinds Scrub, Pot and Hlnk llrtislies, Hrooiiw, Mops. COOK'S GROCERY ROMPT OPULAR ROGRESSIVE Phono 1HI). ED. MEADE Sells Pugsley's Candy at the KANDY NOOK Also Cigars and Tobacco. Noble Theatre. Central Avenue. I guarantee my cleaning to be the very best you can obtain on Coos Bay, and I am prepared to prove it. . Jay Doyle, the Cleaner. Phono 250.X - Central Avenue. AVlll call anywhere any lime. Marino Hro Auto E. I. CHANDLER. - Insurance Accident Plato Glass Burglary COKE BUILDING Marshfield Oregon Till; city OMUXKHS io now located net to tlio Chamber ' l'o leire. Wo luivo Installed the latest combined Meant board ond steam pies.hr nnd wo know how to operate It. Wo have tho "ly Do Vnsher Dry Cleaning, Ste.un Pulsing outfit on tho Hay. We solicit any w oik you have. Yehets to jour nleo white couth, ,!i't. Milts ami overcoats, all nrehhetl tho haiiltary way and tho l""H'r way. Steam pressing- inlscs tho imp and taUes tho hhlno ""t of liluo herjie. i:ery niticlo Rimi-anteed. Jtefeience tiiiplleI ulm Kipiest. For dyeing or special woik phono us. Wo will fr and deliver free. CIIAS. 1 TRIIHY, Xct to Chamber of Commerce. Phone 399 City Cleaners How about that new piano? We have a fine line of instruments to select from. Terms can be arranged to suit your convenience. CUXTHAIj AVIJXU13 .10TTIXGS 4 Krelter as a Cook. Dorsey Krclt zer on his wny Knst found tlmo to dope n new dish which he cnlls "Prosperity Pudding." and he told us us to put It In tho First National Unnk nd, In Tho Uooster this week and wo did. You mny rend It there. SMUiK-A-WIIIM-: Pays to Advertise. The far rench lug effects of ndvortlslng in Tho Uooster wns proved when n man came to Tho Times offlco looking for tho "light" Job nt tho "electric light" office, which wnB advertised In InBt week's Uooster. Guess we'll linvo to put n tng on our "Jonks" after this. s.Mii.i:-A-winiii: PltOIIIIHTlOX ITU.MS A four-bonded rabbit with green eyes whipped n hunter nnd killed two dogs In Curry County. A red, 'whlto nnd bluo coyote wnlkcd Into n Myrtlo Point drug Moro nnd bit tho bartender on the log. A purple Snolllngostor with long lnk hnlr wnndercd Into tho Wng n cr enmp nnd nto tho cook. A scarlet glrnffo, with corlso wings, chased n Coqulllo man nnd s'olo n pint of wood nlcohol from hlu A Ilnndon mnn reports n despor nto buttle between n ninety-foot boa constructor wlth.threo tails nnd an orange and green-striped sea lion witli f.lxUcn logs. ' S.MIIJC-A-WIHbi: PIAIX NXOUOH. (Dedicated to Guy Chambers gone but not forgotton.) "Whoro Ignornnco Is bliss TIb folly to bo wlso;" Iloflcctlhg upon this Wo understand soma Guys. Jim Kollond. s.Miiii:..-wiiiiii: XKW HAXK DIHKCTOK. "Well, I'm n bnnk director now," remarked 'Geno Crosthwnlto yester day, ns ho punched tho tlmo lock on tho show enso in tho Smokohouso. "Go 'way!" commented Doc. Ilousoworth, who was Just Bottling for n gnmo of bnsebnll. "Yop," said Geno. "A stranger camo out of tho Chnudlor this morn ing nnd nskod mo to direct him to tho ncnrcHt bank, nnd I directed him to tho First National." SMHii:-AWIIIbK CIDDAP. J, h. Masson, of Myrtlo Point, wns liero tho other day nnd handed In tho following to tho pootry editor: Tho mule may soom real alow, but Gee! Ho does ns ho Is bid. Ills spark plug nover falls, nnd ho Is never known to skid. smim:..-wiiim2 ; Itaseb.ill Manager Crosthwnlto of tho Central avc II. 11. II. U which menus Centrnl Avenue usy oosters use nil Club, Is getting his men Hned up for practice and they will probably leave for tho training camp Sunday. 'Gene snys It will muku tho manager of tho lloston world chnmps green with envy whun they see his line up. SMlbK-A-WIIIIii: PERSONAL MENTION -i g Someomi Eke V S. C1IANDM3K Is onco moro a fniulllnr figure on our streots, nnd Is getting tho glad hand from nil the lloosters. smimca-whim: AI.F JOHNSON, who Is rolnted to tho family, snys ho doesn't know whether tho progeny of tho Stnn ley Dollnr family shnll bo known ns little Dollars or small change. SMIMNA-WHIUl GICOHGK ANOKItSON Is springing a new one. Ho saya If you would go Into the bnseincnt In tho dark would the coal chute? No, but tho kindling wood. Pretty good Joke, George. SMIMC-A-WIIIbi: Klks Celebrate. Tlio Hlks front all over Coos County assembled on Centrnl nvcnuo Wednesday eve ning nnd mndo tho welkin ring with Joy nnd other things. They nro n Jolly crowd nnd nlmost ns loud ns Chot Hilling's clothes. Wo are al ways glnd to seo 'em nnd tlioy al ways find a warm wolcomo, and other things on Central nvcnuo. Como ngnln, boys. SMUiK-A-WIIIM: ICI). MKADi:, of tho Knndy Nook, Is receiving much eiirourngomeiit over his new book that ho Is about to publish. A friend In Klamath Falls ordered six coplus nnd snld he would take six moru ns soon ns ho henn) from Doe Strnw that ho would emlorso his check. SMIIiK-A-WHIM: Jluriigan Writes A. K. Ncff was in receipt ot'n lottoi1 this woek from Mr. nnd Mrs. J, T. Harrlgan, who nro sojourning In the plensni)t high ways nnd by-ways of I.os Angolcs. Mr. Harrlgnn's hcnlth Is grqatlyi Im proved, but they miiko'ito inon'tlon of tho dato of tholr roturn. Noff thinks this wns deleted by tho cen sor nnd thnt Harrlgan is having n fow 13 centlmotor guns mounted on his nutomoblla for tho coming sum mer campaign, SMIIiK-A-WIIIIiK lltisluehs Conditions. Goo. K. Cook hold n council this weok to discuss tho sltuntlon. Jny Doylo snld business wns pressing, hut Geo. It. Anderson roportcd It stntlonery. Hay Olllvnnt snld there woro G7 vnr lotles. Al Noff -ays everything gets hnrd-wear at his placo and Ivy Con ilron Is tho prosporlty Ploneor. Frank Cohan says Good Hougolooplng and good times go togothor whllo tho mnn at tho Knndy Nook gets his Mcndo of good tilings ns ho goes nlong, nnd Davo Stafford says dull times would got snatched bnld headed thoro. Honry Songstnckon snys ho Is nblo to abstract a llttlo prosporlty nil tho time. 'Geno Crosthwnlto said "Smoko up!", U'h n "plpo." 8MIIiK-AWIIIbK J)H. AY. A. TOYK, DENTIST ! Hours D to 12; 1 to G. ltoom 201, Irving Uhlg. Central Avenue. Miir.slifleld 4 Before Parting With Your Money IX IIl'YIXO ItBAb EfiTATK SKCUItK A COMI'IiETB AIISTIIAOT FItOM THE Title Guarantee and Abstract Co. Which Is prepared to turn out First Class work, 'inis win save you au uoyanco and expense afterwards. We also look after assessments and pay- I raent of taxes. i Marshfield offlco In Coko llulldlng opposite CliaiiUler Hotel. Phono I J-l-J. Coqulllo Office adjoining Farm ers' Hunk Mock. Phono 101. Ilamlon Office, McXalr liullding. Itiisluess Hotter. 'Gono Crosth wnlto, prop, of tho SmokohoiiBo, snys his tobacco sales have Increased llko everything slnco ho offored a prize of an umbrella to whoover would snvo r000 tin tobacco tags. No mut ter what kind. Slnco thon tho users or tho weed nro using moro weed than usual trying to win the prize. As wo go to press "Dad" Welch nnd "Shoot tho Moon" Georgo nru nlmost neck and neck, as you might am "Dad" has saved up 4 tags 'nnd George -1. Doc Ilousoworth was I thinking of being a contestant, but us ho got stuck on tho last series of baseball ho Is soro on 'Geno and ho suys as how It Is JiiBt llko 'Oeno ' to offer an unmbrella prlzo when ' tho rainy season Is over. Ho says rext Decombor tho prlzo will prob , ably bo a picnic basket. SMII,i;.a-wiiiiji; i i A ClWriXO ItCMAKIC "Where Is tho barber who usod to havo the middle chulr?" asked .Frank' Cohan, as ho dropped Into Jesso Terrell's yesterday. ' "We had to let him go," replied (Jesse, "Ho had too much talent?" ' "Whndda 'ya mean, talent?" Frank Insisted. "Ho got so ho Illustrated his stories with cuts when ho was shaving peoplo," Jesso explained. smiu:-a-wiiiu: DIt. JOHNSON, of Myrtlo Point, wns n . Central Avenue vlHltor Inst week. Doc snys , since Myrtlo Point has got to bo n humming metropolis ho comes over here now and thon for rest and change but ho snys Landlord McKcown gets most of tho chango nnd the S. P. Knllrond gets tho rost. SMIIiK-A-WHir,i: SUPT. IIAKKK, of Couulllo, wns In our midst this week looking over our schools. Supt. linker snys thnt Marshfield spouds moro mo n oy for schools now Hinu llos ton did in 1818. Yes, mid It Is spending sovernl times ns much us Portland did In 1818 so that tho big town on tho Wlllnmotto needn't fool so nll-flred puffod up because of Its Hoso Show. smim:-a-whH(H B. P. ADAMS enmo over from Myrtlo Point Wednesday Kvo Adama Kvo get mo, Stovo? Woll, ho re turned Thursday with J. 10. Knight nnd ho says Chat Hilling's nnmo should bo chnugod to Howling. Adams looked moro surprised than tho first Adam when ha bit tho npphj. Adams snys If tho Allies could got n fow Hlks goats they would drlvo tho Gormnus out of tho trenches in Bhort drdor, sMiriK-A-wniu; FHANK COHAN, of "Tho Owl," snya ho Is trying to domonstrnto the scientific accuracy of Kdlson's tho ory of sleep, nnd no vacations. Whllo his assistant, Clny Church .Is laid up Frank Is breaking nil tMnrathon records for closo atten tion to buslnoss. Ho makes tho steadiness of an 8-day clock look llko the peregrinations of a Cook tourist hi tho wnr zono dodging bullets from both sides. SMIIii:-A-WHII,R A WOHI l-'Olt YOU So llttlo penco wo'ro having So brlof tho flying yenrs, V.o tho thunder do your growling, And tho clouds weep till your tears. A. K. Noff. Get The Pacific League Base Ball Scores AT TIIH I Smokehouse Every Evening. Baseball Too, It's Great. THE Smokehouse CIIAXDI,i:iC IIOTKh llf.DO. CKXTltAb AVHXUIJ. Get Haines Guaranteed Flour What's tho use of fooling with flour of an unknown quality w uQvy hack of flour joii buy from HAIXKS Is backed by a giiaraiiteo of satlsfui tlon or money back. U It leabonablo to hiijiposo that wo would guaniiilco flour If wo weit not hiiro It would rIvo satlhfuctlonV Order u Kick today and If It does not Rlvo joii hntlsfactory rcMilts joii get your money back. JIAIXKS lakes nil tho hances. FLOyj), Fi:i) AND HAY. , W. DKNNKTT, the pop. nnd woll know'n Front street flnnnclor, wna n visitor on Centrnl Avonuo Wednesday night. Whon first seen enrly In tlio evening, J. W. looked llko tho cultured nnd cour teous gentleman ho Is nlwnys, but Inter thnt night ho looked as If ho had been In the trenches with tho Allies fighting tho Gormnus. And It wns some fight, too. J. W. Boys ho hnd no Idea tho Klls brought their goats in from the North Pole, nnd while It looks llko n chilly proposition, they ir.ado It hot enough lioforo tho finish. Come ngnln, Joe. A lt.VGIXd IXTKHIOIt. "I novor Hnw such a mnn ns you nro," remnrked tho Central avenue ! man 16 tlu Knocker, thn other iinv. "1 really bellovo you hato your self." Well, why shouldn't I?" thd Knocker replied. "My mother Is Kngllfh and my father Is Gorman." HMIIiK-A-WHir.K Cheer up! itot -In mournful num bers ' v Tell us buslnoss Is n dream: . For the man must wakoj that summers t Stick around nnd get the (Ico) cream D, Y. Stafford. mmHmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Stafford's Fountain FOIt DUIXKS THAT AUK SAXITAHY AXI) HKFItlCSHIXn THY Ol'It "TIPPIJHAHY Sl'XIlAi:" MONDAY, Oil AXY OTH DAY. YOU'Mj blKK IT. YOU KXOW THIJ DKIdCIOL'SXIvSS CIIOCOIiATKS. OF STAFFOHD'S PL'Hi: l'OODS with a money-back guarantee. This is our motto ami on this basts w'o have built up n steady, fastidious trade. You cannot bo too critical to suit us; it Is tho hard-to-plaso customer whom wo know wo can satisfy; tho ono who will pay i llttlo moro for real Puro Food Products, nnd insist on having thorn. This Is tho "Quality" satisfaction thnt means hcnlth and comfort to you, and thu right trndu for Us, j Another thing whothor you telophone, como" or send, your Puro Food domnnds will bo fnlthfully supplied. OUivant &- W eaver ( ; PUUK FOOD .OHOCKHS. TIIK HDMi: OF IJKIXK 7 VAltllCTIKS Phono 100. Corner Central Avonuo and Third ' Street. PIONEER GROCERY CO. Phone 84 :: :: :: :: :: 81 Central Avenue Wo havo Just received n frchh supply of local and California FHUITS AXI) YKGKTAIUiKH KverjthliiR In tho pmrkot. For those who plant garden wo havo a full line of HKKDS la bulk and packages, al.so FKUTIMKKItH. Heiuember, wo are agents for CIIAHI3 .i KAXUOUX'S HI.'Ab HHAXD COFKMi: am! CAXXISTKIt TI3AS. Coos Bay Stationery Co. Oil CKXTHAb AVIC.l'IIOXU l!I0 Sole Agents Carters Ideal Typewriter Ribbons and Carbon Papers. If it's Carters Ideal it's a good deal. PROSPERITY PUDDING. Tuko two cups of thrift, three ounces of common henso, u pieus 1110 of foieslght nnd a pint of prociiutloii, Mix, lient mid tlr well, adding extract " determliiatloii to save (wirt of which you nuiko each week or each mouth. Splco with n rmh! uatured grin. '11 1 In Is not a hasty pudding; tho baking In a progressive procesa and should ho out rusted only to a specially safeRiiardtsI and con slaiilly attended oen this good, reliable growing bank, $1.00 " WIMi OPKX THIJ ACCOUNT. ' " ' ' First Natioinia! Eaek Of Coos Bay ' Central Avenue Marshfidld, Oregon PLAN TO TAKE SUNDAY DINNER AT THE Chandler Hotel TU Hub of !ul W m s 1 i a m Bo Allen Co Phone 1H-. i Henry Sengstacken HAINES L. L, THOMAS, Mgr.