THE DAILY COOS BAY TIMES, MARSHFIELD, OREGON, TUESDAY, MAY 5, 1908.
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Preparing a Meal
Becomes a simple
matter when the
cook uses
Primrose Hams
and Bacon
All Groceries and Markets
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I Favor Us and Yourself $
MMHHHHMMUMiiUBMNHHMMMMMlMHMMVHHHNMMMM
;; By buying your furniture here, This is the only fur-
niture store in the city where no second hand goods
; are carried and our prices are right too. A fair profit
Is ali we ask, Anything in the furniture line to be had
here,
SOME SPECIAL PIECES
of high grade furniture that just arrived are now on
display at this store. Come and inspect the strck
whether you wish to buy or not,
C. A. JOHNSON
FRONT STREET
1 wsv
COLUMBIA MACHINE WORKS
Cavanagh, Chapman (& Co.
General Repair Work and Woodturning. Launches a Specialty J
1 r-Dot 01 yueen Avenue, lYiarsnneia ;
-
THOMASON & HANSON
-DIALERS IN-
'May Grain and Feed'
Free Delivery
Phono 1751
Copyright 1908 by Hart Schaffher &
Chas. A. Stevens Coat & Suit I
House. Chicago
Mrs. M. R. SMITH, Agt.
Cor. Fint and B Sti. Manhfidd, Ore.
-- 'C
Marx
With the Toast and Tea
GOOD EVENING.
X. However hopeful one may H
S, be, whether one laughs or ii
H weeps, none can make theo it
A speak, none can open thy hand (
tt before the timo, oh, mute phan- y.
A toin, our shadow! Specter al- A
X ways masked, ever at our side, i
ii called tomorrow! Victor it
A Hugo. A
"I have a friend. He's just as
glad to see me when I'm broke
As when I have tho coin, egad, and
that's no idle jokft.
Ho's never busy when I call; his
mood Is always gay.
He is my friend whate'er befall; has
always been that way.
He would not sell me for a price nor
play a double part.
Ho never offers good advice, and that
has won my heart.
You think I stretch tho truth a bit;
that such friends never wore.
This is all true, but I'll admit my
friend is just a cur.
"Buckshot. '
Out of Hand.
Voice From Above Catch hold of
that rope, my good man.
My Good Mini Wot's up?
Voice Prom Aboe I am, yo-i Billy
ass,
Tho shade became so intolerable
I that Satan had to rebuke him.
"You swell round hero as if you
owned the plnco" quoth tho father of
lies, sevoroly.
"Certnlnly," replied tho shade.
"Why not? My wife gavo it to mo
before wo had boon married six
months."
"Your honor," said tho attorney
for tho landgrabbors, "I ask that tho
tS iPt
Well Boy's! We're Right In the Game
Every minute, don't miss an inning, and when you want something
just a little different, and with plenty of ginger, call here and you will
never be disappointed
Look at this Cut, isn't it a hummer!
That's a Hart Schaff ner, and no getting around it fellows,
"The Best Staff Made"
Plenty of ginger and all "quality"
Our Entire Spring Stock at
Removal Sale Prices
ONLY 4 MORE DAYS LEfT FOR YOU TO TAKE ADANTAGE
We are reducing goods all over the house No exceptions We
must supply our customers before closing our doors, preparatory to
moving So Don't wait too long but come now
REMOVAL SALE PRICES on .oar entire stock
of Dry Goods Clothing, Gents' Furnish
ings, Hats, Etc
jury be instructed to acquit. My
clients are not guilty."
"You speak with a confidence
hardly warranted by the evidence,"
responded the court.
"But, your honor," resumed the
attorney, "I myself have visited the
J scene of the alleged crime, and I give
you my word that the land is right
there yet."
-Mways
One or the G.hcr.
"But why did you leave your last
place?" tho lady asked of the would
lie cook.
"To tell tho truth, mum. I just
couldn't btnnd tho way the master an
tho missus used to quarrel, inuin."
"Dear mo! Do you moan to say tha
they actually used to quarrel?"
"Yis, mum, all the time. When it
wasn't mo an' him, it was mo an' her.'
Everybody's.
Why the Blade Is Curved.
Corporal Sandhurst was drilling a
batch of raw recruits.
"Why is it," he bald to a bright look
lug chap, "that the blade of your saber
Is curved instead of straight?"
"The blade Is curved," the recruit an
swered, "in order to give more force to
tho blow."
"XoiiEenso!" said the corporal. "ThJ
blade Is curved so as to fit tho scab
bard. If It was straight, how woull
you get it into tho curved scabbard,
you idiot?"
Tho Waiter's Preference
At n dinner one day some men word
discussing tho merits of different spe
cies of game. Ono profonod canvas
back duck, another woodcock, and still
another thought n quail tho most deli
cious article of food. Tho discussion
nud the dinner ended at about tlm
same time.
"Well, Frank," said ono of the men,
turning to tho waiter at his elbow, who
was as good a listener as he was a
waiter, "what kind of game do you
like bo&t?"
"Well, massa, to tell you the trufe,
almost any kind of game'll suit me,
but what 1 like best is an American
englo served on a sliver dollar."
Her AVny.
Wife Have you any secrets you
keep from me, dearest?
Husband None, darling.
Wife Then I am determined I will
havo none from you, either.
Husband You havo secrets, then?
Wifo Only one, and I am resolved
to mnke a clean breast of it.
Husband (hoarsely) Go on!
Wifo For several days I have had
secret a secret longing for a new
dross, with hat to match, for summer.
That fetched him. She was busy at
tho dress goods counter next day.
"I suppose If tho fathers of tho na
tion wero to decide like the mothers
to hold a congress, it would bo some
thing of a musical event," remarked
0 ---
Dr. Toye who takes great Interest re
cently in the rearing of children.
"Musical! How do you make that
out?" asked Tom Hall.
"They would probably agreo on
things, and that would make their
meetings "pop" concerts, wouldn't
It?" replied Dr. Toye.
1 1
Too Roush.
A traveler in the dining car of a rail
road lud 01 deicd fried eggs for break
fast. "Can't give yo' fried nigs, boss," tho
negro waiter Informed him, "lessen
yo' want to wait till wo stops."
"Why. how Is that?"
"Well, do cook ho says de road's so
rough dat cbory time ho tries to fry
nigs dey Fcrambles." Life.
Bound to G;t There.
"I don't know whether to make a
doctor or n liiwver of John." said tho
old man. "I'se g.)t a lawsuit to bo set
tled an' a leg to be cut oT, ao 1 s'pose
I can't miss It far either way." St.
Louis Republic.
Point of View.
Susie Wouldn't you like to be as
happy as a lurk?
Johnnie -Naw! Think of ths time
they hnve to get up. Truth.
Wisdom of the Young.
"Oh, Willie, don't yer wlsht yer wua
a real horse, so's yer could wear a
silver plated harness iuste.ul of dese
old strings?" Now York World.
On His Way to Take tho Waters.
Tho first heavier than air flyiug ma
chine. Sketch.
"The Busy
Store"
ny-----Q 0 t 6-1
Frank Parsons' thinks ho is some
thing of an inventor.
"The thing I am working at now, '
ho began to a little group who wert
not busy at tho busy corner, "will
ho a boon to every family and will
startle the whole world. In fact, it
will put tho alarm clock trust out of
business. Tho idea is simply special
ly prepared tablets that help you get
up in tho morning. For instance, if
you want to arise at 5 o'clock you
tako"five tablets; if you want to get
up at C, take six tablets; and so on."
"But how will it affect the alarm
clock trust?"
"Why, these tablets will cause a
ringing in the ears at exactly tho
hour desired "
But tho little crowd could wait to
hear no more and hurriedly disband
ed. "Is that you, dear?" asked a Coos
Bay woman as her husband camo
stumbling into the house at 2 o'clock
in the morning. "Yes," he answer
ed sulkily, "who'd you expect?"
WITH THE WITS
"Your lankweedgo," remarked the
visiting foreigner, "it cos so strange."
"Why so. count?"
"When a man spend nil hees money,
one man say hoe's all in. Another man
when he has no money say hee's all
out. I no understand." Philadelphia
Juquiier.
"Your father is iu politics," said the
stranger, "is ho not?"
"Yeh." replied tho boy, "but mom
thinks he's getting cured of It"
"How do ypu mean?"
"Why. bis stuniniick has gone back
ou h! in, and ho can't drink like ha
useter."-Catbolic Standard and Times.
Two girls returning from Sunday
school were discussing their progress
In tho Shorter Catechism.
"1 am past original sin," said tho
younger one.
Tho other immediately responded,
"Oh, I am farther on than you, for
I'm past redemption!"
A peasant insured his house against
fire. When he got the policy, he asked
the clerk;
"What should 1 get if my house were
burned down tomorrow?"
"Thiee or four years' imprisonment"
was the short and prompt answer.
Loudon Tit-Bits.
"But can we live on $1,000 a year?"
asked be.
"Lot's see," said she. "Theater tick
ets w ill cost about S'JdO annually, flow
ers m much more aud bonbons, say,
FUOO, Certuinly we can do it. John,
and sae money into the bargain."
Katisus City Journal.
Wo are now prepared to store
your goods. Bay Side Paint Co..
North Bend.
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