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About The Madras pioneer. (Madras, Crook County, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (March 4, 1909)
Kv$ eeon called Little
l'tho dlsoaee germs that
H-i wllcIno Is ft combination of
' hS different remedial ngonta
Bere Jtons and by ft process known
tofWSlvS n5 it bos for thirty
- ,.i m dentist wasn't so realistic,"
?J!. L Onuo. "Ho calls
SfcK prlor hta dr4W,n roora "
i .tfl CURED IN fl TO 14 DAYS
.X rttMTMENT Is ffiwranwoa w cure any
lU0JS Dnd. Weeding Pfotmdln,
aft M Ik"'' " mfunilad. Ma.
jy-1. 1 to
. good thing Hint man wants
. ..in. here bclotv," reumrked thu
- fhv?'v nnrripii rn von in
atTJATMISO H WJ "
ntisa Hint's nil tlicro la left nftor
JV-" . . A I ....
foiianscu wnat "0 nm uuawervij
til pMIOBOpny siiw.
.i vital Pane una ".r,".u" "'"'"7,""
flTj:.u ttr.4 I'f !" las's Owst Wots II.
nirfflor" .o tmlUnlla.n.1 tro.tl..
fa'nSjK. & Ah Ht l'hllsdelphl., Pa.
fiilMinan Wouldn't you Ilk
10 look it tome OI our gyeri.uuujt wr
DjiptpUc Loomnf uiioraei no, out
1 TOO Will ",nu lw
iL ,. rfmr department is I'll tako
Li it jour pMlnes nd porous plaster.
fcn'-Cblca go iTUiunc.
A flrown Up Ilnbr.
TmiM like to be In Houth America
j.i., revolution, would you 7 Vhat
"O Id list io sea urn viui s
tthtsbfrn Mated on Ilrltlsh authority
tiit American Immigrants Into Cannda
ir tulnr urty million tiouars worm oi
rtptrty Into that country caca year.
nt followinr slrn Is displayed by
Cra of cycle and motor manufacturers at
Hotomj, England ; 'To aeronauts i Drop
Itri for petrol." V
The folden crested wren Is the smallest
f British bird. It Is three and a half
beta lone and scvcnty-two of them
rtifs oa pound.
Ill fact that no death from hydro
firtit htt been recorded In knclanu
ore itftfz ii cum na nil iiiiiHirnLian di
i crettnllre treatment of disease,
It l eitlmated that 11.1,000 persons in
Ktw York City make their living by
iMrwItx, which means the lack of wit in
Shipbuilding In Japan mploys 10,000
nt Nicuwkl, 8,000 at Kobe and 4,000
4-H .1 J...
Tbi Ortnoble district In Franco la
nr two verr different product wftluuU
hmtt Warren, a farm laborer. 82 yearn
. - w- "'B'M-Mt
iirr nir mv wnfirii am iio mmma w mn
fa maty-tire years.
In reply to an advertisement for a
mmir tinti ft . I -.4 mit mmt 1
er than 397 renllei. .
aiw lork City has more asylums,
iurx. iininirnia nnt nMnn n( nn r
relief of hltmfln HiiaVrlnt? than nnv
M VilV T If 1
Kkl It rjeist ror rtlm.
Osntletnen, "said the toastnmsler at (tit
banquet, "we have listened to some excel
lent orators this evening and I am stir
ws havo enjoyed their efforts very much.
I have purposely kept one of our best
speakers for the Jnst, and after you hart
heard him I know you will be rlad to so
home. Gentlemen, I lime the honor to
present Mr.. Ketchnm A. Cummin, who
trni how s'ldress you." unicflgo Tribune.
A boy wn nsked lo explain tho dlf
ferenco between animal Instinct nnd
human Intelligence. "If wo had in
Btlnct," bo Bald, "wo Bbould know
ovorythlnB wo needed to know with
out learning it; but wo'vo got reason,
nnd bo wo hnvo to study ourselves
'moflt blind, or bo a fool." Universal-
Man with tho Bulging Brow Awful
loppy, Isn't It?
Man With the Bulbous Nose It ain't
half as sloppy for you as it is for me.
My overcoat's In soak.
RAM'S HORN BLASTS,
K'nrnliiff pfote CitllltiK the Wicked
It is not tho
Inws wo pasu but
the laws' Wo cn
forco that bIiow
whether wo mean
whnt We ay.
Tho dovll gets
much of his best
excrclso in finding
liniuls to do.
Tho only tiling wc can rwilly own
nro tlioso wo nro thankful for.
Ah men get Hearer to God they And
it aHler to get nlong together.
God can make things plain to nomo
folkw that lie can't oven hint at to
Tho man who doesn't bollovo in
boll has novcr Been a drunknrd's
There 1b a big plnco In this world
Introduoluic Iter Iluilu(lon.
"Johnny," said Mrs, Lapsllng, putting tor tbe man who docs not desplso the
on uer wraps, "rve tieen In the house all wy or small things.
taLn?d .PJtftuP- "?; To get where sin can't shock
where God can't reach you.
Liirio.iir urMiHea. gomo ,,co,))o ftr0 B0 frnJ(1 of doing
.Jvw'J'"!'.? MK sacrilegious that they don't
blonde tlmrJsed to feed th tantSTX d0 nn't,,,," t,lnt ,8 rcl,Jou8'
this lunch counter? It Is hard for tho Lord to do much
Dark Skinned Walter Girl I'm her. In tho mcetinc where the clock Is
What you goin' to order, sir? watched closer than tho preacher.
Yoathfoi rhiio.OBi.r. T,'o bonus was the first Institution
A flvo-ycnr-old boy on hearing grace Go1 ctnbllBhcd in this world, nnd tho
nuked fot tho first time at breakfast
gravely lemnrkedi "I only say my
prayers it night. That Is the danger
ous time." Life.
Ketotn Itlpe Wliduu Cornea.
Tltcro is a dnngcrous stage in every
one's career when bis friends nro
afraid to tell him a compliment for
fear it will make him mors conceited.
first tho devil tried to break up.
Hoar in mind that the devil gets a
boy by getting bis father first, and
he mny get yours In that very samo
You can't scare pcoplo into being
good any more than yon enn drive
tho poison out of n rattlesnake by
putting a clothespin on its tall
Reporter But, Senator, in a govern
ment like ours, don't you believe in the
principle of rotation in office?
Imminent Statesman I certainly do,
young man. That a why I have a revolv
ing chair In my office.
It is told of nn old-tlmo boarding mis
tress of .Mnrbluheud, a shrewd damo
who, kept her boarders under admirable
control, that once, on Saturday night,
a daring man broke the unwritten law
of the establishment, nnd asked a sec
ond time for beans. At once several
others, who had not da ml. but were
ready to follow a lender should ho suc
ceed, looked up expectantly.
Brora tinmnno, -Hie Iandlndy promptly ladled into
They tell me. Mr. Smlrhers." slmneroa the pinto of the rash innovator n last
the fluffy young thing, "that you are quite ppoonfnl, scraped from the deepest in-
IVot Worth While.
"Don't you think. Mr. Snly." said the
bovs, "you might as well take off your
"What's the use?" asked the new man.
who waa filling a temporary vacancy in
the clerical department. "I'm only going
to hold this Job two weeks."
it rtbflmj. Franc, nnrtnlil hnttitiiii
11 MllL 1.-1 1 ... . .
Tbi foldlnr envelona waa flrat tiaMi In
mts are WJ.WO vegetarians la Bnr
Tlere are In lxndon over nui.mu nr-
i 1 1 1 1 i m i in tt...wAMM i . .
Is a dally average of on. and
LKS f J. -At . . . " .
h. . . , "" IorK y cnarge-
"",r" mniciea ny otuer persons.
Is the li t a. .
tf. Il!4H 71.t
lennnii nave van intn nw
nt-story bedstead. . -
n , - "
lunula. KI(!llmapa ra.mn ..J
uwr Psce Is limited.
Th lecret of it,. i. . -
Unsolved by .pnn. rvu.t. I.
uuaoninnn ed hv h.af
knia nra aa m n lAnan bh
Pm.. i V1UU UICU 1XS IU
ksos in n.w Vv -.i t-.. ....-
t ii i...
Miahsttan'e postoffloe ree.It.t. .mn.,,,.
i,370 dally. '
kfll Belliorn. I. n t .l
""Ullicr Whn l.- i. . .
m rne colonies.
Tio Who hn. -.ii.-.j ... . .. ..
' ? not I 1A M I. ..a. . .
Mti uar1t thing to endure la the
a, lady killer."
They do me an Injustice, upon ray
word, Miss Glggley," responded the gal
lant old beau, laying bis hand on his heart
and making a profound bow ; "I catch 'cm
"Miss Easton," said the hostess, "this
Is Mr. Weston."
Del.'gbted to know you, Miss Easton,"
said the young man. "Nominally, how-
erer, we seem to be antipodes."
"Actually, too, perhaps, Mr. Weston,"
she answered, so distantly that he Instant
ly felt himself to be 12,500 miles away.
A Lynn (Mass.) alderman at a re
cent nldermnnlc meeting inquired what
had becomo of an order he had intro
duced some time, before calling for an
arc light on Willow street. Tho city
clerk, nftor digging into his flics, in
formed him that the order bad como
before the board nearly a month pre
vious and that ho had voted against it,
Muat no llnrd Work.
In Russia there is n cheap reaping
machlno which has n reel, but no au
tomatic rake. A man sits on tho plat
form and rnkca off tho grain with a
pitchfork. Tho nanio of this muchlne
1 "lobogrelkn," and Blnco "lobo" means
"brow." nnd "greilra" is "a heater,"
tho wholo can be translated "brow-
terior of tho dish, and sweeping the
table with a beaming smile, declnrcd
"There ! I calculated on Just enough
to n bean!"
Second helpings were otberwlso dis
couraged by; a boarding mistress of
Old Xorlcy. A young school teacher,
Jato to dinner from a skating party, nto
little of the half-cold and unappetizing
first courses, but ventured a second re
quest for hot minco pie. It wub servl
without comment, but n few minutes
after dinner the maid tapped at her
"Missus is nfraid all .that pie won't
set well," she announced, "nnd sho
says, sba'n't she make you some ginger
Tho kind offer was declined; hut
half-hour later tho maid appeared
"Missus says she's sure you must bo
needln ginger ten by now," she stated.
"She'll send some right up the mluuto
yop say so. IVfl all ready."
Somewhat lefs graciously, tho offer
was declined again ; but in a few mitt
utes the maid reappeared with u tray,
nnd, "Here's your ginger tea. MIbsub
says you belter bo on the safe sldp,
and tako it
Rather sharply the tray was reptv
dinted. Five minutes later the ;mald
knocked once more.
".Missus says she's got to go out, but
Do you realize that rural telephones, more than
anything; else, tend to increase the earning power
of every farm and farmer?' Do you realize that
ALL of the material needed to build the very best
rural telephone line exactly the same as the Bell
Company puts upwill cost you and your neigh
bors less than half a bale of cotton or twenty bushels
of wheat each?
Over 4,000,000 Western Electric Telephones
are in use in the United States to-day. We made the first telephones and we have made
the most in fact, we have made more than all other manufacturers, combined.
We have brought the rural telephone within the reach of every farmer, and with our Free
Bulletins before him a boy can install and operate the system. Our telephones arc guaranteed.
Cut out this advertisement, write your name and addres3 on the margin and mail it io-day so that tho
Free Bulletins, which describe the entire plan in detail, may be sent you immediately.
Msniifactarers and Suppliers
cl all Apparatu. and Equip
ment used in the Conftrac
lion. Operation and Malm
(tanca of Telephone Plant.
NORTHERN AND WESTEKK OFFICES
Salt Lake City
"To make a lone story short," said Un
cle Chinner, "we collected the maple sap,
emptied it into a huge Iron kettle, and
put it over a big wood fire to boil it
"To make your long story short, uncle,"
interrupted one of the listeners, "suppose
you boil that down, too."
Mother, will find Mrs. Wlnilowa Soothln
Syrup tbe beat remedy to naelor their chUdxea
aunng- mo teetung ponoa.
A. Flavoring. It mates ft
syrup better than Mapls.
J Sold by
Iterr Vlnhcm In tho Sesu
In a communlcatiou to the 'Royal So
ciety of Queensland, Dougles Ogllby re
corda the discovery of one new genus.
and seven new species of fish. Among
these arc slender dog shark, Howe's
needle fish, long-beaked garfish, the
somber leather Jacket and others.
Mix for Rheumatism.
Tho following; is a never failing re
cipe for rheumatism. To one-half pint
oi good whiskey, odd ono ounce syrup
sarsapanlla and ono ounco Tons com
pound, which can be procured of any
druggist. Tako in teaspoonful doses
before each meal and beforo retiring.
Had n rteaaon.
Editor (of Daily Thunderbolt) Yoop-
er, you have fallen down on two or three
assignments lately. You used to have
the best nose for news there was in the
Reporter I think I had but Ifs been
pulled once or twice lately, and I'm get
ting cautious about using it
Orlando Spoonnmore bent over the fair Bll "l"'1 J"t CBJ' her mind to leave
hand nnd respectfully kissed it. ' She's put your ginger ten on tho
"Young man," screeched tno parrot in
the cage overhead, "Is there anything the
matter with my lips?"
Some of the saloons in Liverpool dis
play tho sign : "Ladles can uot be served
without their hats on."
Lost in the Australian bush, near Tort
Darwin, for flvo days, engineer-commander
K. S. Silk wits found alive and well by a
The average rent paid for New Yorl
nitr tenements and apartment house
built within five ymrs amounts to $141
annually for each person living in them.
The munlclpo Dly of Copenhagen baa
mened war on rats, and will pay 1H
tonta for every tall. The breeding of
rats for their tails is a criminal offense.
nt postmen or tjnain are unable to
read and write as a rule, and it Is a com
mon saying that who treats thi postman
best gets the most letters.
A youth of sevontcen, who banged him
self at Bristol, England, painted himself
with green from head to foot Just before.
hnck of tho stove keopln' hot; nnd
you'll find the extract bottle on tho
second shelf of the pantry, If you want
nny more. She says sho hopes you'll
bo all right, but that plo was nwful
ricii, and two pieces was enough to
upset nn ostrich."
Thc-y did not disturb tho digestion of
tho healthy nnd hungry young school
mistress; but sho never risked" incur
ring her landlady's solicitude by moro
second helpings. Tho ginger tea had
cured her of that
CURE THE CHILDREN'S COUGH
before the comtsnt hsckiag lesri tho dolieate membrano of throat and
lung', expoiing (hem to tltts ravagei of deadly dlteaw. PUo'i Cure
Boei straight lo tho et of the houble, stop tho cough, itrengtheni
the lungi, and quickly relieve unhealthy condition!. BecsuJO of its
pleini (site and freedom from dangerous ingredient! it U tho ideal
tvyi " 'b'ldren. At the fut lyroptomi of a cough or cold la
the hula onM ypq will lavo lorroW and offering If you
GIVE THEM WSO'S CURE
The Little Voice of Experience.
One of tho small sons of tho Princo
of Wales was taken on bonrd a battle
ship not long ago. It was his first
visit to ft big Bhlp, nnd ho wns deep
ly impressed nnd interested, according
to tho London Dally News, and asked
as many questions as tho averago boy.
Finally ho asked what was behind a
cortnin closed door.
"That's where wo keep the lwwder."
t "Do you hnvo to tako powders, too?"
said tho llttlo princo, sympathetically.
Her Lilt eat Luxury.
"Young man," said tho heavy father,
"do you understand tho Btylo in which
my daughter has been accustomed to
livo? Sho has always hnd ovory lux
ury Bho wanted." ''And now I'm tho
luxury sho wants," murmured tho Buit-
r, London Globe.
Thoro is luck In an old horseshoe or
n four-loaf clover If you don't moot
with a fatal nccldont or got sick and
During tho month of August, ninety-
nino vessels 'entered tho port of Duo-
A cood. honest remedy for Rheumatism.
Neuralgia and Sore Throat Is Hamlin's
Wizard Oil. Nnthinr- will ,n rmlMrlt-
f .. . ,V.. . j
inve oat an pain ana inuammation.
Country Cousin Are you sure I am
In tho right train7
Town Relative (who hns had about
enough of It) Well, I have asked sev
enteen porters nnd thirty-two passen
gers, and they all say, "Yes," so I
think you'd better risk it London Tel
egraph. Only One "BROMO QUININE"
That la LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look
for the .urnaturo of E. W. GROVE. Used tho
world over to Cure a Cold In Ono Day. 25c.
The long feathers of a bird's Wing are
fastened to the bone. It is this which
gives the wing the strength and surface
therewith to beat the air.
Ita Claim to Immortality.
"I don't see anything remarkable in
your poem," Enid the editor, handing it
' "You don't?" howled the woula-be con
tributor, pointing with a quivering finger
at the word "loathes" at the end of the
fourth stanra. "Did you ever see a poem
before that had a perfect rhyme for
'clothee'?" Chicago Tribune.
To te fe beweu&o
MANUrACTUnCD CW THE
Fig Syrup Co.
SOLD BY LEADING DflUGGI5TS SO'AfWlTLf:
I WILL TRADE
Wall Paper, Mouldings,
Pictures and other slm-
w liar goods, for tlmpsr
land, farm land or cash.
prices. Write me.
I E, H. MOOREHOUSE
) 144 Seventh St, Portland, Oregon
can know rvnrr-
tblne. To becomo ezrert
means to mortal lie. Wo nro btxv
rlallxT.I In nrodurinir th tuct rlnvr
and vecclaLlo Ecedti. In Cl years wo
havo becomo experts. Btnr rerry's
Beeda And reap tho results of our earn.
For aalo everywhere. Read our 196
catalOKuo and pron t by oar experlenoe.
Bent freo on request. Address
B. M. FERRf & CO., KTMiT. MiCH.
at the same time
cneapest m the
end Decause it
Every garment guar
catalog free q
75! ce BOITOM o
"' t'Mlii Q l.M.TCD TO0iTO (A-
I " ..... iiir.
O. R. & N.
fast through trains
.WM. McMURRAY, a P. A.
bMMI Per Salxers cataloz paze lag. I
Largest growers of onion and vegetable J
seeds in tha world. Die catalog- free t or, j
send IOO in stamps and receive cataloz and!
looo kernels each oi onions, carrots, celery, J
radiibes,' ijoo each lettuce, rutabaga, tor
nios. too urslev. ioo tomatoes. loo melons.
i zoo charminff flower seeds, in all io.cco I
Iccrncls. easily worth SI. OO of any man's!
... ...... IIHA Jt I .iJ M.
1 HJUUV, Vl.omu vw .inio ..... t-. uuoi
I pke. of Earliest Peep O'Day Sweet Corn. I
SAL2EB SEED CO., Box PC La Crone. Wis. 3
W e want stock, wheat, dairy and fralt J
farms. Havin&r a tares Eastern come-
.pondenee we are In a ponition to make
quick aalea. Drop us a card if yon havo
anythine or know of any farms for sale. T
ATLAS LAND CO.,
420 Lumber Exchange J
I PORTLAND, OREGON Z
"Ha! Ha! It didn't hurt a bill
Now for my Alveolar Teeth."
In cases like the above, all dentists throw um
their hands and say there Is no hope save a
Plate or raise set or teeth, but the Alveolar sva
tern solved the problem and now plates are not
necesjary unless all the teeth are gone.
We do dental wnrlr In nit I, kn.i..
aimple piece of filling-to the complicated and act
enUfic Alveolar work. Let no one fool yon into
paying fancy prices. Consult us. The Driceo bo.
ow are lor tbe hlsbest class of dental work.
Alveolar Teeth $3.30 u
Regular Gold Crown. 22k , $3.59
Regular Porcelain Crown .'$3.59
Regular Gold or Enamel fills $t )o9
Revular Inlay Fillings, Painless and Per
Regular Expert Plate Work, per set. ... $3.50 up
Painless Extracting (free with work) 50c
Wa make a careful examination of tho mouth
free. If you would know mnm nf ,M. a i..o
work, send for our book. Alveolar Dentistry."
trertUo on tho teeth In general and the new
method In particular. The book ia free. Out-of-town
patients treated in tha ihnrf, n.tki.
Dentists of 5 to 20 years'
active practice in the city.
Tbe ALVEOLAR Vmkss Dentist
fourth sad Washington Streets
ENTRANCE UOVi FOURTH STREET
OFFICE HOURS-ea.m: to 8 p.m.: Sunday. S
a.m.loum. fitUNK AJ171.
" DISTEMPER sft
" m-IWB" and Catarrhal Fva
ruAL CO., Bacteriologists, GOSHEN, WD., u: S. A.
111 di PRICED
DO ;T BETTER
A FULL POUND 25c
Gt it from
, 1 1 i
. - 'I ..
PUT NAM FADELESS nvwo
29l0.r ooda brlehter and faster Cr,ir,r-
'uoa Alrea nnd not ono woa American.