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About The Madras pioneer. (Madras, Crook County, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (March 28, 1907)
Tfitchell, dealer In guiioral
luJIse, Martin, On., wrltoa:
Mloit In weight from iau 10
ucMpbjilclan. lio torn nor
irtdnilly commoncod lin-
Iqui getting ft littlo utrongtli.
rwtlgbi iwpounus. biio h
wrdy, and doe bor own
l-ir-DId Him Kimn ntimiro
pitingj? DoblxT I don't
Slipper What did kIio nay
Sal nobbier--Tlmt liu could
I put n Rrent deal of niyielf
lrort Stliik'r Well, tlmt'H
Dfbtcr- In It? The picture
ber wai "Calves In u Mcuil
Hero nro two vnnnyu on tho Ilugu
notH by Clilcngo public wbool pupllH:
"Tho lliipoiiotH nro people In Franco
Hint nrc follower of Victor Hiiro.
Tholr louder In n limn nnincd Jcnn
Valjcnn tlmt wiih a thlof, but got con
verled and turned out well. Tho Hiiro.
iioIh nro very good pwiilo. A lady
limned Kviuifculluo wrolo a low? jwciii
about tlHMii, but It don't rhyme."
"The IltigiienotH In tho namo of n bl
thing llko a Hle.un roller that tho mo
Kill iiKed In India to run over people.
It KnuMHlmd them to denth nnd whb very
terrible. It had eycH painted on It like
a dragon and Hiiorted Htoain when !t
wiih running. They aro no liugiio'iiotJ
"Heimtor, rvr-ryliody In commending
tlmt Kpcecli you iiiiuln the other day on
the Miihjcct of the trtiNtH."
"I think myttolf It wna a pretty fnlr
"niifortmintcly, 1 didn't hear It. What
position did you trtki'V
"ItioHH you. I didn't tnko any. I man
ngod, however, to iiHMiro enrli party to the
controvcrny tlmt I(h position wan tho only
correct nnd loslcnl one."
Tlmn o Him,
flunner There wiih a bad, bold bur
glar up In the glrlh' college the other
(Juyer You don't nay. And did tho
(Siinnor I nhoulil nay no, They gnvo
the college yell and the burglar hasn't
atopped running yet,
II II I ill Oilier .Nlilr Ol.Jcrlril.
Attorney (for the Weni.) Do you
know anything about the merits of thli
Venireman I should wiy not It bniw't
nny merit h.
Attorney e ii wise hum man, your
N'n nifiwrnm ullti This.
"Smythe, you willed on tlmt Iloston
girl, did you? Wiih hIic nt home?"
"Yen, nlie was at home, but you sco "
"Klie wns nt liotne, but you nee "
"Hho wntt nt home, but you nee M
"An I wild, she wn at home, but ypu
"Yen. yen; she ivni nt home, but I
"Weil, that's the answer."
Ht. Vllu' Inr iind nil Nrrvous Msnwoi
.iu l.u 1 1 lllna'H flr.&t
LESSON TATJQHT BY BRAZIL. Ilovr Ho Knew.
. A witness was bolng examined ns to
Hploiiill.1 Av..no In HI.. ,1 Janeiro Bnnlty of 01,0 of tbo '"I1"1,08 U!
Cut 'in rou ki. u,n fliiitnn. nBylum. "You bold tlmt this Inmnto IB
Tho moflt wonderful fenturo of Itlo Inwino, do you?" a lawyer asked. "I
do Janeiro Is the Avcnldn Central, do," won tbo firm response. "Why nro
IiihikIiio, If you can, n city, CIiIcuko, you so suro?" "The man," the witness
for Instance, awakening to tho reallza- snld, "rocb about asserting tlmt bo Is
tlon that there are ukIIiicsh, dirt nnd Santa Claus." "And," snld tbo law-
dlseaso In Its midst; that Its streets yor, "you bold, do you, that when n
nro Ill-paved, unwholesome and unequal man Roes nbout assorting that he Is
to tho trnllle. ImiiRlno Chicago deter- 8nntn Cluus It's n clear proof of bis In-
n.lned to cha.iRe all this by drawing sanity?" "I do." "Why?" "noenusc,"
n straight lino through her slums, srv mh tho witness, In a loud, Indignant
from the river at Madison street to tho , voice, "I happen to be Santa Claus my-
corner (it Tur.lfMi nml llnluftwl lriM.. Self."
with other straight lines parallel and
nt right angles through other centers
The train was called the limited, but
what was limited about It? It ran at
Ami Imagine Chicago, nfler pulling on unlimited speed, the Incivility of
down brick and stone, wood and pins-. the conductor and tho brakemen was
ter, erecting on these straight lines j unlimited, as was tho rapacity of the
broad, well-pnved, well-lighted avenues, porter.
faced on either side by palaces, shops, "It's a mystery 1" exclaimed the little
cafes, clubs nnd business hones, all party of foreigners,
newly built according to one harmonl- But In a moment they entered the
oils scheme, so that air and sunshine drawing room car nnd their wonder
enter where they wero before unknown. J vanished.
and so that It becomes a pleasure tq "Of course, It's the good taste of the
walk where hitherto confusion und dla- decorations 1" they whispered, nnd, re
comfort wero unavoidable. mcmbcrlng their manners, pretended
This H what Itlo did. The Avenlda not to notice. Puck,
was cut literally through tbo heart of
From March 8, 100-1, when the first
house was unroofed, until the ojciilng
of the Avenlda for public use, Nov. 15,
JMOft the Brazilian national hojlday of
Independence there wero (HI houses
demolished and over -1,000 persons scat
tered to other and more wholesomo
homes. The reactionists who objecj. to 1
the whole plan say that for a tropical ,
city the old streets were best; thatl
PILCS CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS.
PAZO 01NTMKNT la Btiarcntcc I to cure ny
cbm) of Iclilntf, blind, bleeding or protruding
pile In 6 to II (Jnyt or money rcfunded.Ma
Mrs. Homer (reading) An ordi
nary piano contains about a mile of
Ilotncr Huh I The one next door
sounds llko It contained a wagon load
Ir.luto. lr. 1L ILKIUi. UL.Ml Arch HU, l'bUa-.l'a.
Name Old I'rclliiir.
Oladys I feel sure he has never
loved before. l'enflope Oh, I felt the
snuio way, denr, when he tiKcd to umko
Iovo to niel Xew York Tress.
There l more Catarrh In this ectlnn of thi
country thu II other dlneftsen put tORether
ml until thii lml few year) vrMiupioird tobi
, lnourablc. For agretttmnny venntdoeiur 'pro
nouuctil It local ulimane, and prercrlbeilloraS
ruinuillcf. and by cunlautly liillllltf to cur
I with local treatment, pronounced lilncurablo
Hctonco ha provm calarrh to bo a ronatltu
llonal ilioaate, auu iiioruiuto rciuiictuiiimu
tt.uiHl trnatmoiit. lUU'nCatarrtl Cure, inauu
tfflttbe Myers, of 180 South factured by K. . Cheney Mto., Toledo, Ohio, i
it, i . ... i tna nni v mtiiiiiuiiouai ruroon wio nmrui. i
pCED TO A SHADOW.
Sen by Five Years of Suffer
from Kidney Complaint.
lVr.ti Intrrnallv In iloivi from lUllrol l tn
worked hard in my i toiioonful. it actdlrectlyon ihnblooii bu
turn, ,., !,.. Ii, intlOttlinurfftCOolllieylom. Jiieyoiicroin
lliiio anil liavo wen hinutroii .iniiar for any cane ItfalUtocuro
Bond for circulars and icillmonlnU.
AililrcM, r. J. i HfcMit xoiouo, w
expire! again and
again to changeH of
weather. II Is no won-
j uci my kuineys gave
out and I went all to
piwes at last. For llvo
years I was fad In if
atallyw weak that for six
1 KJld not got out of tho
I u ncivous, lestloss and
knight, and lntno and M)ro
wining. SoinotimeH every
whirl nml blur lxf(irn inn.
'kl .a t. II . .
uaiuy i couiii not wear
m?, and, had to put on bIioch
larger than usual. Tho urliu.
llnil ln.unu ........
" irequent. I eot holn from
w ol Ilottn'a Kidney IMUs,
M by tlin titim I )ni,l tL-,.
--vj.i.111 nnii Minuting was
ure been In i-iuvi i.n..i,i.
.-.-unicni. Oil ennfM n Mr
nuo,. i Mffn v. v.
Bold by l)ruuirtt.7N
Hall' l-'amlly I'illi
aro tho bctU
Moioi wan nuinberins the children of
"What are you dolus that for?" aonie
body nuked him.
"They wouldn't stand for a referen
dum," explained Moncn, "and I hud to
turn It Into n ccnsim."
Not even his worst enemloa. however,
ncrufted Moses of doing It for political
C; r n 1 r n I .
"Permit rne to ank you, rnadnm," said
tho lawyer, who was a friend of the fam
ily, "your real reaiion for wanting a di
vorce from your husband."
"Ho Isn't tho man I thought I was
marrying," explained the fair caller.
"My dear madam," rejoined the law
yer, "the application of that principle
would break up every home in the country."
l Afifiiitt oi mm muslin
LIMIT TO ITS POWERS FOR EVIL
l'"WJJ no 'nisnn 1. ..!. .ITn. in i Bonr n li It Mlltniin.
-uswnri(l llin.. 11 .11 t . I iu linr lu ntlU
f".ia mrnvii I, ,n iiu. lklnMlMt n.wi riicr ni nil ci i.Horiiirrsi.
ilC3 0l llmcn ....( i i f. 4 ..l-f ,f n.,.1 iflf.n Uninrr
.7". m nnnennf -rr . , ... t ....it
ZX ta"lc ware, toilet articles or clothiti"; of one lit whose
racnerous vims has tnken root. Not only is it n powerful poison
7'lUeB0rn nr 11 J., nnnnrnnrf first, nf
flMa..l. .W If 4,41 UlllttUI T 11 .
' - ' . , t
mr Aft t v vwifi'i toiorcu pnois, wuncii mwua j4 b
t . j w ii hi i iiirirN nri i no iinii v. iiiili ill obi w
ia nrAft rr . j r . ,
iiaiiiin ni i nninfTtniiQ itmrtri f-ninnii. nuuwa vviivai
MBVftentlcnv 4 t.--. t" f fit - . nATtte i
I -. i , ... V. i 1. 11 V LL1 1I1LU LJIC 11C1IC1 Llliil AIM Vtl ' ' 1
.'"w HPflt...-t , . .. : : . . . t
hu ,a lc'tn iieiinus tunc tne poison uns oniy uwnuiiv.
DlOOll n...1 .1 1 1 11.. i.. fM-.,l
th('K new, broad avenueH which brlriK I Mother will find Mrs. Winnowi Ooothlng
miiillKht Into, dark placcx have aim
brought the llrt ciihoh of KiuiHtroke Into
Itlo. They fall to realize, of courae,
what cleanllnoKH and fresh air alKnlfy.
Tho total coat of the Avenlda may
reach $80.(X0,000, but It will be worth
eveiy cent of It.
Of courHe, there are kIuiiih still In
evidence In Hlo. A city of TfiO.OOO peo
ple, one-third of whom are neriys and
many of these of the lowest, most Igno
rant tyjK(, cannot Ikj reformed all nt
once. In the lanes behind the hills and
In the districts around the railway
station there are native hives as pic- Ki0na'v,,wIyJl""
turesiuc and as dirty, though not so oyw or
Byrup tho beat remedy to use lor their chlWroa
aunng tco teeming periou.
Ilulililnc It In.
Miss Rcdpep You are better, are you
not, Mr. IVathertop? You were not look
ing at nil well the last time I saw you.
I Mr. Kenthcrtop Why, when did you
' aeo me hist?
i Miss Hedpep At the Swcllham recep
tion. You were waltzing, I think, with
I Shake Into Your Shoes
Allen'e Foot-Kawo. A powder. It makes tich
or new boe feel cay. It is a certain cure tor
wealing, callous and hot, tired, aehlni; Xect.
Bold by nil Ilrugeiiu. l'rlro 'l'c. Trial pack-
-.i-.. Auureis Alien a. uinuieo,
crowded, nor cut off fro;n sunllKht
and air. as those at Whltcchapel or
East Hroadway. Header Magazine.
HEIlOINi: OF JAMAICA.
Mr. Drpcw threw aside tbe paper In
which he bad just read that as a Senator
be was a joke.
"In that case." he said with decision,
"I will not resign. I wouldn't spoil a
joke for anybody." Philadelphia Ledger.
Worth Knowing About
If you need a first- hiss laxative, there is
nothing teiter nor nnfor tlmn that old fam
ily remedy, Urnndrcth's I ill. Each pill
contni is one crain of ol d extract of
Mtr.-mpnrlllu, w ich, with other vnlunlde
v netalde products, make It a blood pur
ifier of cxccll-!ii chnr.icler. If you arc
troubled with c 'iistit ntion, one pill at
niirlit wi 1 nH'ord ureat relief.
Rrandrcth' plilf are tlio fame fine lax
ative tonic pill your prandpa-ents used.
Thev have been in use for over a centurv
nndaroMold in every drug and medicine
uvuic, ciwieri in or augar iouieu.
A gentleman was calling upon the
widow of a valued friend, says Le Fig
aro. During the visit he said :
"I was a good friend of your late
husband. Is there not perhaps some
thing which was his and which I could
have as a memento of him?"
Tearful widow: "How would I do T
Lady Swettenhain was one of tbe
foremost helera in the work of relief
among the homeless nnd suffering In
Jamaica. Sho Is the wife of Sir Alex
ander Swettenhain, K. C. M. O., gov
ernor of tho Island, who brought ecu
suro on blniself because of his treat
ment of Admiral Unvls and tho Ameri
Only One "BROMO QUININE"
That fa LAXATIVE llltOMO quinine,
larlr named remedies Fometimca d
The first and original Cold Tablet Is a WHITE
PACKAGE with black and red lettering, and
bears the signature of K. W. CJKOVK. 26a
Oat In the Cold.
"Old Fullerplunks, who died a month
or two ago, didn't leave you anything,
hey? I thought be was a near relative
"Near? He was closer than the shrunk
en jacket on a slitoon-lnch eun I"
h n n . " vutkrni'i l i ni ti r l m nircTiuti i iff nn if c ii i ntii utaLi itwt. w
Ui W. lis D u,. a j f I . I llni
. uiiiv i r-.i i ii in i'iriiiui f'Tiri mi i iiniiii' luiiii ji ww-
re boQf "w"i,r -----
'pi.ooofornroof tlmffi fi rnntnlnm nnrticlc of juineral
in nny form. S. S. S. goes oowu to vuc
ery bottom of the trouble nnd by cleansing
tho blood of every particle of the virus and
adding rich, healthful qualities to this vital
fluid, forever cures this powerful disorder.
So thoroughly does S. S. S. cleanse the
rlroiilnMnti ftinf- im fiiirnrt nf the disease Ore
f y ppccj.i , ever seen ngnin, nnd offspring Js protected.
ltl t'tl n i . WIIIIIUUIUUP iMUUU A Ww, 1
i ... -"'"Kcsor t imi..i.i. 1 iii , - A,.nitn imttift ireaL-
M... 5r8OI thia trnni.i. -kt i tni- hook, nnd
WUPPIal . " vwaaaua J. U CllMll'U AC3 lliUMU W w w '
be plic1 ndvice about case or nny of its symptoms, out
- u iiirniBii mar, too, williouE iiarge,
THE SWiFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, GA,
W lISm -
A Oeiille ItrlMilcc.
The father of a young nnd attractive
member of the Society fty the Preven
tion of Cruelty to Animals tells a story
to which she sometimes listens with
mingled amusement and wrath at the
recollection It rouses.
She was walking with her father
along it crowded street one day when
she saw a man driving a coal-cart and
whipping his reluctant horse.
"lie has no business to do that?"
she said, Indlgnnutly, bringing her fath
er to a standstill. "I shall go right
(ut Into tho street and stop hint!"
"lie's stopped now," said her father.
"Evidently he has a balky horso;" but
his words fell on stony ground.
"Will you give mo your namo?" snld
tho stern young woman, looking up at
tho driver, nnd displaying her recently
"I'd Jlst as soon, miss," snld tho man,
with a broad grin, "but It's so long
you'd nlver keep It In your pretty head
till you gat homo, (lit np, Jerry 1" nnd
with n Biidden change of Impulse, Jorry
charged forward, and tho conl-cnrt dis
appeared round a corner.
Ilia Klrat Ilofuanl.
A young gentlemen who hnd not fa
miliarised himself with tho forms of
pollto corrosiiondeiieo, nnd lacked tho
good sense to discover tho form for him-1
self, found It necessary to refuso an '
Invitation, Tho Chicago Nows glvoa
tho noto which ho wro.to:
"Mr. J. Henry Newton declines with
pleasuro Mrs. Hnyniond's Invitation for
thn twenty-first, and thanks her ox-
tremoly for having given him tho op
portunity to do bo."
Tho avorago girl tests her first en
gagement ring by trying to wrlto her
namo on n pano of glass.
Mica Axle Grease
Best lubricant for axles in the
world long wearing and very ad
hesive. Makes a heavy load draw like a
Ucht one. Saves half the wear on
wagon and team, and increases the
earning capacity of your outfit.
Ask your dealer for Mica Axle
SeUsBfcte You Go Uuubcrt
flolil frown, n "rldito wf! 1T
looth,3i l'lalf.S! Hllvcr Fillings,
Mo; Gold Killings f I.
167 rirst Street I'OIVTLASU, OltEOON
Yes. 100,000 times C2ch day.
Does it send out cood blood
or bad blood ? You know, for
good blood is good health ;
bad blood, bad health. And
you know precisely what to
take for bad blood Ayer's
Sarsaparilla. Doctors have
endorsed it for 60 years.
One frequent eaunn of bad liloo4 Is a ulnptfih
llrer. TliU produces constipation. I'ottoiioiu
lulxtances are tlidii abmrbed Into th blwirt,
lntnl of bell V, rernovil from the Uxij dlljr
si tiatnra Intniidi-il K'-i'ti tbe bowel open
with Ares l'llls, llrer pills. All eiUble.
Us4a by J. O. Ayer Co., Lownll. Uass. t
Aio maniuaoiurer 01
9 HAIR VIGOR.
ENGRAVING Write Us
FRUIT TREES, VINES, PLANTS
BERKSHIRE SWINE, (Registered)
SHORTHORN CATTLE, ReB;5tercdc
BARRED AND WHITE ROCKS
PACiriC NURSERY CO.
Catalogue Tree. Tanzent, Oreeon
! With M-vngo illustrated booitlet, gMng i.i
' iiini tnr llnrnr In UlR Home. YMm BriCl 1)01
I w. . .. . . - - . .-- . - .
ami a Souvenir Picture, 7xi in., lo'oiors
free for 6e anil yotir rlcaier' name. Acblress
l'aclllo Cowl liorax Co., Oakland, CaU
nr- not nu esocri-
"mcut, tut wli.i proper culti-v
vauor . i .i y assure uc '
from t:.- sLart. Lsers hare o
do'j' t rt r 'atitir.ff nor dlsap-
potntinr-iiM e narvm.
for blprest, Biirrst, hest cror
at all'.eaiers i amousiorover
joyears. 1'J07 bectl Aituunl
iree on rcfjntsi.
D. M. FCR3Y A. CO.,,
:fJdZs. Detroit. Mich.
AUSTIN WELL DRILLS
Mado In all strleii and all sizes. Uet water and oil
anywhere. Hot Drilling Tools made. Uet cala
lojs and prices. EEAXX, & CO.
321 Hawthorne Ave. Portland, Or.
nicks Miss Flatly sang with much
feeling at the concert last night."
Hicks Yes. She ispent most of the
time feeling for the right note. Somer
DR. G. GEE WO
This wonderful Chi
nese Doc'.or Is called
en at bi-cniifo he cures
j-oplo without orwra
t.on lhat art, even tin
Ut die- lie cnes w' h
Ibnse wonderful ( hl
nrso herbs, roo s, btis
barks and Tesetablc-s
hat are entirely un
known to mcll-at ali
enee In this conn ry through the um or ibeno
harmI-3 r-medles. Tli 4 1 iraoniiofntnows
tho iw. lonofoTriOOd.tler' ut reined, s, which
he usssocccssru:iy In different diseases, lis
rnaren'fj toe recAtnr-b,athma7Iun7, throat
rh umaCim, nervnns ess, etuniach, liver, kid
neys, etc.; has hundreds of tt-sttmonlals.
Charges moderate. Call and seo him. I'a'lents
out or the- city write f.T blancs and circulars.
3nd stamp. CONSri TATION FllEE.
The C. Gee Wo Chinese Medicine Co.
1 C2H First St., S. C Cor. Morrison
Mention paper Portland, Oregon
P. N. U.
WHEN ivrltlnp; to advertisers pleaae I
uiontlou this paper. I
turo of Gluts. II. Fletcher, and has been made under his
personal supervision for over SO years. Allow no ono
to deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and
Just-as-grood" aro but Experiments, and endanger tho
health of Children Experience against Experiment.
What is CASTOR I A
Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare
goric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is Pleasant. Ifc
contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic
substance. Its ago is its guarantee. It destroys Worms
nnd allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrlnca and Wind
Colic It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation
and Flatulency. It assimilates tho Food, regulates tho
Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep.
Tho Children's Panacea Tho Mother's Friend.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
Bears the Signature of
In Use For Over 30 Years.
THI CCNTftUII COMPANY, TT MURRAY STntCT. NtW YORK CITY.
There is no satisfaction keener
than being dry and comfortable
nnvn uuim tn? norae&i, oiornv
0 YOU ARE SURE OP THIS
tt YOU WEAD
. X V V J. "V
T0WW (AHAWAH CO,Unlta0I0NI0.a
W. L. DOUGLAS
$3.00 AND $3.50 SHOES tiSoi,
W. L DOUGLAS $4.00 GILT EOGE SHOES CANNOT BE EQUALLED AT ANY PRICE.
SHOES FOR EVERYBODY AT ALL PR WES:
Men's Shoos, S5 to 81. BO. Hoys' Shoes, S3 to SI. 25. Woim-n's
niiui'n, cm iu i,ou, .mos iiiuirttii'S isiiovii, V.SS to Sl.OO.
W, Ii. Douglas shoos aro recognized by export Judges of footwear
to do wio uosi in siyio, in aim wear produced in this country. Each
part 01 uio snoo uim overj- uoiaii 01 tno maklDg Is looked after
and watohod over by skilled Bhoomakors, without rcard to
tlmo or cost. If I could tnko you into my largo factories at
JJrockton, Mass., and Bhow you bow carefully W. L. Douglas
,uuo iu uiiiuo, j.m wuuiu vnon jinuersianu why they bold their shapo. lit bott
roar longor, and aro of greater valuo than any other makes.
raifaaw&HeU wftiurftKfrefr. C--lW maTwrS W.f nWvuTxi"
The Finest Gardens
Are always reported when Portland Seed Co.' "Diamonrl Rranrl"
Seeds are planted. Why ? Because we sell you the kinds lhat grow
best on th s Coast. Our handsomely Illustrated and descriptive
" "ui our aeeas. Giants, Koses. Spray Pumps.
. viM.iisia, un.uuaior3, orooaers, rouury ana aee supplies.
Art BooV No. Z6U w. ilia hAvs s .pcll eilAloe
ol Trv Shrub. Etc Book No. 261 li on itquou
PORTLAND SEED CO.
Portland. Oregon SpoKane. Wash.
PUTNAM FADELESS DYE
uarnnteed to give perfect results.
icacH ana mm colors.
:t ?e.ulu. eA.kd eV"TwVvvmV Mk 00' " cotton equally well oml 1.
MONROC DRUG Cal tvwl uuT,irl. P1U " 10c WrUe for fret booklet how to d.