The Umpqua weekly gazette. (Scottsburg, O.T. [Or.]) 1854-1855, September 05, 1854, Image 1

The Umpqua weekly gazette., September 05, 1854, Image 1

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Newspaper Page Text' m. W m i;;ggjgwgggyggs swan !UU ams . l. i- 1 1 ' i i i.n ( jj Wi &mu x 11 n V' v r WM. J. HKGCiS, Kuitok am I'uiiMHiinn. VOliUMH 1. THE UMPQUA WEEKLY GAZETTE. I'ltllLIIIII'.ll IIVKUV MOSIIAV. OPriC'i: In Huiiuh' Ni-.w IIiiii.imi, decond ttory) corner of Main ami Vuncallu sired. TKHJtS INVAIll.Vllt.V IN ASIVvM'i:. Ono copv, Tor ww yer,S5,WM fr l moiitliF, JS.UU: fur tliroo invntli. S'.'W. AllVNUTIHCUKVIK will 1)0 Inserted fit tlio rl IowIiij rules. Oho mpmro or ten lines ur lew, first liiKTllim, '.00; each Milo.ent liiM-rllou, 51,00. A liberal deduction mado to yearly ml vcrltsers. lli-NtSKS ('AitiM, of ten linen or lent, Tor ono vear, $2i ', fur six moiitli. 8 15 j for three mouths, ""siu. - - cTTIi nmi der of Insertions must bedlMlnct y marked on tin lnirtflii, otherwise lliwjf wilt lw continued till forMd, slid charg'-d accordingly. VToi-tlf of ItliitlucM, Oh I bow meet nro worda of kludncM, Flowing from n loving leart ; What on earth can we find sweeter Than the Joy which they Impart! In our sorrow, In our radntu, Kind words prove i healing balm, And In life's most adverse tempests They around n breathe a calm. Let u never speak unkindly, Leal one word idiould pierce too deep ; HcnrtJi made up of Unfit feeling Never cnue a heart to weep. Never let tho voice of anger Any drooping mind oppren : Ilather bind a hroken spirit Itallcr make life's troubles lc. Kwect arc words when Ally rpoken Oft they give tho spirit cheer, Kwett la whlfptriU consolation To the chll J of sorrow's ear. Old ifltbout a word of klndnon l'ocr, Indeed, our hearts would lc for kind words, like nngeli' whispers, Kill th soul with holy glee. VrtVI&wi2222L. rth would sooa have less of sorrow, If oar word wiro.only kind. ilti0ccllawcou0a A .tllisourl Wotldlnif. In a particular vicinity of .Missouri, n marriage woh agreed upon, between the favored ton of n farmer of no inconsidera ble influence, and tho hello of nil tho coun. try around. Of courso tho eie of the nelghborliood wero lu attendance. Every body wot there, und everything was in apt readiness. " Tho Hoyal Tiger vtm present lhar, Tho Monkey and the l'olar liar." Hut that dignitary, to whom it wat do signed to assign tho honor of master of tho niarrinL'o ceremony, had not arrived ; but just then somo ono spoko mid taid "Thar comet Squar Hen Buncum." Quick at possible tho lights woro trimmed and everything put in placo. As usual, anxiety, agitation and joy woro depicted on every faco,nnd Mr. Tom Wisdom, tho lion orablohost, wolkedoutto meet tho anxious Squar," to welcomo him In, iuquiro for hit health, tlio nowa, .Vc. t Tho Hquar was a good-humored gcntlo. miln, but ho was chielly celebrated for tal entt, natutencis, learning, Arc, In hit pop ulous townshiji. " Well." taid tho host. " Hen. you havo been elcotedlnit you had a cloto timo of jt; my voio mono vnveu yuu. iuu utui him ono voto only. " That is all, Tom," roplicd Squar Hon ; " hut tho next election I'll lick him. Thoro's no uso in talking, Mr. Wisdom, without usiug tho corn f-r-q-o-l-y, and n liltlo sly Ecaudal and lying-rtlmt's all tho chance." " Ah, well, that's all over, nud you aro tho tnagistrato, Hquar lion, to como and let's go in and seo what tho young folks vUV Indoed, Squar Don, aro you awaro ihat you aro expoctcd to nay tho ccromonyl" ISenjamlw Jiuncum now began to seo tho nwful responsibility of his office, and to " tremblo from conlro to circumforcnco ; " for ho had novor oflicUtcd in that intorcat- " ing capacity. Thoy hud not oven dono him tho justico to inform him of the part ho was .expected to perform, or ho could havo pro. pared. Ho. find made no preparation- had no form, nor could any hook bo found, h)bh or low, having tlio marringo corcmony. Ilcncc, to take it "ofT-hand" was tho only v.chauco. An unfortunate and excruciating teBt for tho nowly olectcd " Squar." Tho company was now arranged into a crescent. Tho Squar was at his place, ana in camo tho parties principals and soconjU tho gallants each bearing a candle, whlcM evinced tho extent and luxuriance of tho rango In that neighborhood, With much asaurnhco and dignity, tho Squar lookod around, and wkolo ages of learning eoemod iii:von:ii to uTi:it.vmiu, aiiiiui utvui:, mi.ni.n ?!,. okjiijual - y Wltf tfmwnf ' BtHVWWttV.U;,' lushing through IiIb mind. I lu thought over everything liu liml dreamed, lint nil In vain. Thoro wins n suppressed titter nil over tlm house. This admonished liiin (lint lie mint wiy something, itml In mi agony of despera tlmi, liu began: "'I'lio Htnlo of Missouri, l'iku county, I coinnimiil you to " Tills did nut milt, f 'uiiriuiuti nmt wliin poring porptuxuil liltn ttiu moro. " (Sivu him ft clinuco jjivo tlm Sipinr n fair olinnce," nnlil n BtroiiK volco iicnr tlm door. Tlm " f iiwr " lonile iinotlii'r rNort : " llo It cimutfil, liy tlm (ifiK'rnl Awcmbly ofllio Htato of. Missouri--" Thb " .Squnr " wi licro lirouylit to n iloml it.iiiil, Int vn iijiIii luliiioiiivlit'il, Uy tliu tiltoriiij;, tlutt lio mint procei'il uitli Home lliItiK. In njjo?iii!iif (Ioi0rnllon liu li'au : " When in tlio couric of hitninn fvnt it hecniiicii " Hero ho wn louclietl by Mr. Wimluni. After n iniuo liu ln'gnn nnlu: "Our f.itlier rilio -.-t In llcnvni " " Mt'VroicMhi( tlio I.onl'H lVayer'snyn one. Tho "Siiunr" rnUeil his 'lotiuleii vitioti to tlio c'liug for n short lime, uiul heg.iu nncw : " Know nil men by lheo (ireaenta " Hero ho was intcrnij.loil by n I'liernl noiie, nml n volcu from th" crowd, " liu U innkini; n deed." Aniti hu esanyed : ' WMtiiom my hand mid ie.il, thin thu " " IUh cinicludiil it ho will eerlniiily jjo on witli thu ceroinony," snid sovernl voices. " In tho iinmo of Cod, itiiiuu," he nynin henn. Laughter from every direction eoiiiu swvnfiiig. " do is making his will," snid onn; " I thought Jin would not live long ho looks prodigiously snd." The next esnny of tho noble mid lo.irned " Siiar " was : r "Oh yen' oh yea! como into Court " " Aro we to hnvo Court to-night ? " eja culated some one. "Oh vent olivet! comu into f'ourl!" replied another, from the door, wait general. hi., i t- ill. i.iii.r.i csec Mo m cum was ner irionu auu nenr.uy , untiring man ; and, after eatui around tho room, ho determined try ngni" ' " To tlio cmiktaiiio, or nuy oiner jnwmi officer (Ireetini: Micas, or inajiiu mm um u. ..... "Let'a go. lie's going to havo us all 'root, when rho plays at I poep will .you arrested," said tcvcrnl Hero a glean! of for ten minute, beforogoi rwnnT agr. ... light Hashed over the Squar's bewildered , Hut ; tin. black wasp hat no a of t heao ,w.i. -and forlorn countenance Hu ordered tho during weaknetaeK of chapter; tohUiry, iinrues inrsiiivvir i hhh u' v.. ..b... to hold nn their liuht ..!..!. unit In a snh.mn voice ho said : ..... .. i -i. .e.... .i...i t..n...l truly swear, in the prefoncu of tho present company, mid of tho President of tho Uni ted States of America, that you will perform faithfully, nil and singular, tho dutict mid " 1 liu. mill l-ncil ill luu.uumiii'iiiiiij ...... functions of husband and wife, as tho c.ifo nmv be, to the hot of your skill and ability, fi '(lotM over!" exclaimed the grateful Mr. Thomas Wisdom. "Come, gentlemen," sain im, "wo will drink with Sq.iarllenUuncum." "A-jrecd!" hhouted tho enthuhiastlc mid happy crowd : ........ .... ....... it. ..ii. 1.. " wolliiaiiconil main nil iinnuunyiirfiiii . ... .. 111. .1.. ....L 1.. ll.A In.iPhllll. " And ko homo with tho gals lu tho morning.' Tho Hindi Wutpt In tho warm summer., days, dining our rosidcuco nt Tort Sorell (Vim Dlemon's Latulli nml moro particularly in tlio cvou- nuk wo bail often miliocd it largo Itlutl or bfick lly darting hi und out of thu house, witli a loud, sharp, wlitolug iiouo, nun, on moro attuutiyo observation, wo found n most tragic addition nindo to our list of nntipo. dean contrarieties nothing lens than tho disc5vcry of n wwngo and sanguinary war carrio(J.on by lliet against Bpiders, and pur sued with such vigor that ono would beliovo tho Tnsnianinii ilics woro bent on avenging tyrannies und grievances suffered at tho" hands of spiders by tho whole wlngoddiiKect family nil tho world over. Wo had observed tho forcible, and noisy nbduolion of inouy an unlucky wob-Bpinner, boforo I could sittisfacloilly mnko out whut bocamo of them, as tho frequent seizures mado, nppa. rcutly by tho same liy, forbado tho conciu. sion that thoy woro jbith with, devoured! Imt. bv di.it of Biiudrv wntchl.iKsnnd pur suits of tho flies, and by okoi'ng out and fleeing together my various small scraps oi inroiination and' diioovory, I ot length no quired i toloraVlo knowledge of tho habits and practicuTof my busy bluck nolglthors. In blo and slin tlioy cxiw)ily resemble ioAtVEnglish wnsiliut' Ifrtv yIioIly bluok, MjXohiCBR f()rniIiliiblo'Uug8, n quarter of iymifll long. Thpy Jiuild vory rpuuu kublo cojlt'flr tiosts of earth, finoly-lcmporcd and AJrmVd In layers ol' liny mutl.pals, liko a swallow's noht. Muiiv of thoso woro plncod ti ft n)olI wooilon oiit'honso, betwceu.tbp . . . 'V., TV.tetftt.VY,. i'v Upright ntuda mid tlm wonUtfnrArillng of! next, sei'Ing tho biiiiio weapon, which had tlm wall i Mivorai wero formwl will ihilf on ' twleu been dltcharged, Mill pointed, riuhud the poruh, wheiu huiiio umall piwf ; of wood ! on j but to tlm Mirpiiao of tlio lliisfli.iiiii, a l,)hig heapod logolhur ullVre., jonvet.ieiil third shut wan firod at him J uutoiichld, north; and one wasp, reiulviniMo have n however, Im wan about to cut down tho umru costly lodgment tlau lifa Vwlls, look l.esglilnu, when a fouMb discharge Hcaltorcd puawssioii of n iiifertollitUMil,aJbowl iImIiIiN brniim on tlm rocky pnr.'.pel, mid hii lay on thu wiiiio fclielf, and very t-iiigly laid llfebiia body tumbled into tho torrent bo. out liU house In its int-rior. fl tlm uestj ' uuatli. 'ifireo ofllio llurhiatm had now I liavo examined aro nrraiig! n thu huiiio I fallen. " What devil of a pistol in thii that manner, Ihe whohi fabrio beiei from two'spe.iki no often i" cried tho survivors to to four Inchu.i long, and r.ithur jiv limn mi ! 'neh other. Tho J.eglil.iii n til I stood llrm, Inch broad; thu external MjjH)fiie innti .Inn tvlinlliur iiiunre. Iilnti'ftilu. or umili IB mail, gonal, deietiding n good ifejAm iho aM iiiecaiitloii not uniieeded, nhii.o now two rhosen. When conipletftljWrhuru l Kursimis, nbtena,.rruro u tho point of as. left; but, on being opeiipli.ljrwl or four nailing him. Certain or their prey, these cell aro usually found, two tliteo con- advanced moro cautiously thou their jiredo. tainlng each n soft white chniilu in a co-' eeiiors. coon of whito well ; mid jfnr.tfii;,U apail-1 'I'hii timu two delibernto thots brought meut of tho mauaion li ilevnli.,tu the pur. tln'in right mid left ; each fell ilerceil tieir poaea of a laider, and i id; fouie' full tlm region of the heart. Tlm lemainlng ofupidem, of all varieties ofaii, color mid ' ndilierh wero imacd. Tho l.onghlan, faint kind, nil cloaely mid ne.itlptckcd togo.jwith loan of blood, and feeling hit strength thcr, with their legs trusted ij, so m to , fast ebbing, now druw forth another pistol, m.f-iii.v iln n. mill. .it mtuWAirtinfK. Tlm ' ii movement unobierved bv tho enemy, and atrangeat part of thu nliairU that t'iOHpideM'apidly tired three shot at tho group of are not dead, but remain jioiteclly soft and . Kuailaua, somo llfty yndo diatnnt, at tlm llcxihlu in uwry part ; and; f.l liciiig ox. ' . .. . pon-d to thu sun mid air, tM alined, a feeblu movement if ovldetft m them, at though they wero paralyxtftorattipellod in .....v-j-. rr .. v.. ... somo manner, so mi to uu iiirmiatmg ie-.-" "1 '" "' '"-1 ' ' ' tluu mid goodfroah moat alfU tatuu time, our whole army." Accordingly they pre Tho iitorehoiuo la thus welUM?!ied, doubt- cipitately lied, just n tho Loaghiau tank ledt for tho bonefit of tho clttyulia tenantry down exhausted nt thu foot of the rock, on their nwnklug to tho kidntpdj'o of life M a distance they vcntuwl to look back. nn.l ni.tu.ttln. I l.nv.i l..n nr.lv innrn III. '" It IlStla Vailillicd ill tllO lllUI, Clidl tllO tcreittul by any now iuitCtl tlnu by thesu :n -." ..i..;- . i black wasps, ungentle and firetn'ttt though they bo; for there is a damr, dishing en. irgy nud brisk iiidtutry ilxU their ways and doing! that it very (imuiing and per. feolly original. 'Jim buc-tar little hard- working, erscvcriiig feilo.lmt Im Is can still nll'unl lime for tiiativ a fwmcttiih peep into blossoms and buds tliacho deign n i 1....1- .i.w v.. .t,.i..... .w.i uuia .....I ....in ww .ji i 1 1.. I...... .... ....... ...i..., .r-.,..wi i i.n.nn i lu i.iniu i.i.i. utu.. ......'.. ....v. ... ..'.. with his two paunier bailetl loaded with I plunder in her nipper th i.c.her own tlzo, 'ninf hither nud thitlur, uii ir.wsand down stern, ruimess " " "'S IJ"1' "' -----. , . . -r , , HU worn oi ceii-ou.mmg .-,... v .ii..-, chosen I iiiir. Ii vou e banco to 0 nrar it. ---n- -.I. . lit. place of abode, you mayteo bin, wirl past I . ... . ' r. r.-v.-...i .i'.ii ahnrp whiulng it conthtoij lo'r tome sec otitis or u ininute, tlurio tig operation of i t. i i ii .-.-.i.i ....... pac imgaway msioau-tTi.eu i.iimuuum.. again, straight and sw.f at nn arrow, and l; tvlio, until now baioi row i.rooms mm iusi-hiii.i, ii.w .i.v.... .,.......... .... Him in comfort, but hat, length arizoil, tiustcil mid .acked iIiTiDf nltvo liy tlio i ,llirk avc..gor.-A mr i in Austrulh. I . .- ; i , I 4l l.k 4I.J. l..llltfll.ll.. IUII 111 lll JIHIIV.."..-! Wo find tho followig ilercsting anec dote, illustrating tho viluojf a recent Amo ricau invention, in u ptttli paper of tho I8th of Felnuary; - In Dubgcstnn, inTO!gfte?ljTimn chief, rKIng severely wounded dtdng ono of tho freduent rai.bii of the Hetsiatis, took ro- fugo In a ruined taldi, lu Order to apply 1 haudaget to hit wouuda. viitlo liiua em ployed, hu wn ditcuVun I by a parly of twelve dismounted dragoriii, who imiuedl ntoly gave chaso on hit tftkfiig lllght. Ho ini! iloet of foot, for n IiU whlfo lu out ran thorn. duihiL' which tliaj'such of them ns had their jsariiu'B loadl flrrtl nt him ineffectually. IIavlugrjiised ono ol tho ilexililo bridges common fa that country, nud which was over n japM torrent at tbo foot of n mountain, tin) fauitlvo. finding himself unable to procetdaiichfuithor, and having timo to put Jila hriM in order, blood nt bay under a projvclttr rock. With veils of dellclit. nnd-mVi(lod Habrcs, tho Itusblnns n)prlached Iho brldgo. Tho foro most, Hearing him, cVlod! " Vitld, dog I" " Mot whilst I Imvo twjdvu Ivos at my gir dlo," cried tho undaunted, iiotiutotncer. Tho UiiBslmrn In tli W buighed loudly at tho boast; hut ho hi tdyanoo fell dead, pierced through nndllhiWigh, by bullet, nearly at tho foot of Tho ptghian. 'lno socond Boldlur btmnblod ovyrhis doad coin, rudo, and as io roBO rccelil'd n shot wli.oh causod him to fall sovorcly Wounded. 1 ho Tho ''eakll " Is" t!jcr1flB!j"5vrtr tho Knstoru I'Micnsus. It Is conatmetoiMd nnoen hwi, cemented irith clay Inttead ofpiorlar, tluir licajieil up golden Jajm.' lay f;,AA tWATrMBa"pWrr lslt?qlBlil!iJL( 1JlU mi.l l.ii with his hclMiTli6vaiiti ineroavft whoso ways of thrift an.) Indufiry ovi I 1 .. I Mi ... II ...... t l..na.l IrfTttlxn ' i.vn:w.iii.-(i:l .a, , TtillM -,. . .tV VAuuut r, IH5. I . . .. I... ."..CI. !.(.. I merely lOHUtlg I 'A yvuuv oi hiivi'hiii iiiwiu hw left nrm, ready to receive n blow, ti olliur.utiu ol tliu oriuge. wring io niv sigia being now dim, only ono ahot took ellect, wounding one of tlm dr.igooutou thotioul der. ' Let iis ilv " thev rrlcd. " it It tlio -.. ---- - -. . , , , .... ..!.:-... vi .... suersuiiu.v .iiu9iutuu. Tho I.crghiau chief wat tuccored by aome of Ids own people, and ero long recovered from his hurt, at did thu wounded Kusiiau. At Ida bridal feavt, hoiiio four mnutht after, tho pistols, which woro n pair of Coll'n ro volvers, and wero a gift from nn American traveler, t.npt. tv , to mo vouwnui nen of t ho Caueatut. were iiatiueu rounu nniui -- ', ,....,.. .,., t.i. ii tn concrai iciuroicuuii i uiu iuij. mu bride it said even to have Hisscii ii.em.aav. t.... II s I. I ... l.v.a.M llthnirtiif tt'urA fill (MM rj ..".. III IlltltV . J "IVMII MIV kind treatment to his position, has had tho cruel horsehairf removed from hit heel, and hat often cleansed mid loaded these idunti cal specimens of the fatal weapons, destined to cli'eot t uch a revolution in tlio warfare of tlio world. Tho fctory of tho "devil's pistol" was long told among the thnplo litis ian soldiery, when conversing on their weary march, ns tlm wlndinir column descended tome inter minable mountain, or when tho grateful Samovar (kettle) gave promise often at tho , ' l"J'lr '0 Journey. ow, no Iii - iil ill in rnibiel on o thu arm aiilOIIL' the officers has in eouio degreo dissipated tho telling rllect of tho Mory, but many still devoutly believo that tho young I.esghlan cJilci was no oiuur mail mo rrmeu ui u.iru nets, out on a sporting expedition fur the f. lufl of linrsilulr If conuiiftiily Intcrted by the Ciroawiluui In tho heeli of their prisoners, lu outer to create mii'Ii a degree of lameness ai to prevent their o.qw An Itft'ti if tliiroiic. Mr. Danieli), Iho former editor of Iho Hiehiiiond lixaminrr, is quite discouraged about European travel ami society. Wo liavo no nouiii uiai me luuowuig w m jiu better idea of tho old wotld, than much that I written, nud to iIidbo who cannot uiako it convenient to travel, tho remarks nro very consolatory. This foreign travel is not what it is cracked tin to be, We shall always think so. Hut if, however, we havo n different opinion niter our visit to Kgypt and Nineveh, .hich wo contemplate taking as soon as tho bridge is extended over tho Atlantic, wo will promptly inform our road era. Hero it what Mr. Daniel writes: " It may bo strange, but it is neverthe less true, that 1 liavo- been i ealjy .OUiLlriilv homo-tick fr tho mat xlirSrcTmonlliH as ever was any litllu ghl In her first quarter at the llOlllllillg.EOIIOOI. II you liiiuir iiuw iiiui-H lonHaiiter n lifo of real woik and study in tho United States it than this nonsensical travel and idleuus, you would not bo tlis contented. Ouo will learn by experience, however, and tho best thing I expect to got personally out oi mis nm-sum, i jusuma that I will bo Bntlsficd when I got back, mid novorngaiii bo haunted by thoso intolerable lonuingt for Kuropo, that tormented mo in years gono by. J .i " . . T. 1 11.. nntt.w. nnlnl.rfllnil Tlio pleasure ui nciuuuv uv.in uv" - places is binnll. It is all anticipation and memory. Tho real comforts of htnopo Us noUomparo with thoso of tlio Unjlcd States. Every thing coils just double what it doos at homo. Tho nooplo nro nowhoro ns good as ours. Tho womon are uglier, tho men r...... S.lnnc T Inlnnil tn write a book i; I about it nil, and I thought, when I left tho 8.1,00 VIM ANNUM, IN ADVA.IKK, 1MUUU . UiiitcuAtntOii, that I would have to ocraluli tlm blanket it good deal to maku out our Eiiperiurity. Hut llitio it no need. Tho meaunuai, tho filthy life, thu stupidities of nil Iho r'jtin(ri"f I have toon eurpaa.1 all I expected, and all I hoped. Hero in Turin, which if tho moat beau tiful I havo i ver huoii, I am busy learning to Hpeak Trench, and Undying wlialisnoji ul.trly but moitt falsely termed tho groat world and ' jiolito tocioty.' I havo (lined with dukes, jabbered bad grammar to coutilCHfeh, and am sponged on for reats in my opera box by counts who emell of gar lic r.v dnen the whole country. I receivo ltlta from other dldoniatiatt; with title. nt long rut n flag ktau, mid IieadK ns empty as their heailn, mid find tli'i whole concern moro trashy than I had ever imagined, i mint, however, keep up their acquaintance, for that in tho way to sco tho elephant of Kuropo.ui life, Ho I dance tho dance of foul', liko tho beat of them, and return'thoir viidts sodulotuly, carrying about great cards, liko that I enclose for your iitepcc tiou. 'llio pictures, tho operas, tho ballets of I Europe, nre nil good tilings; the people, thu governments, tho society, moro cpntemptb bio than can bo conceived." Literary Muicum. ' Living iijioii Othurs. Job Greenfield was ono of those who mnko it a txJiut to lire upon others to tho extent of tliclr ingenuity, and that in Job's caae was not by nuy means Inconsiderable. Uo wat quite in thu habit of dropping in to a neighbor's about tea timo ; as n matter of course ho would bo invited to sit down with tho family, on which ho would exclaim : " Well, raily. neighbor, I hndu't tho Joatt Idea of tindi.ig you at dinner. I don't know what my wifo will think. I told hor I wouldn't bo gone rnoro'n ten minutes ; however, nt you havo been no kind as to invito me,.I don't know but I'll atay." Among Job's tastes hu had a great liking for cigars. Hut ho ncvir uuugut any. Not Im t NoWty know )-4- that hny -vhMfM.twivuJii.x;ir'xC'"?h&iUMU:tLJ of how much they cost would linro lufjiTH- bly destroyed nnv gratification (Imy might afford him. When, however, ho couldj sponge ouo out of somo ono die, no ono smoked with greater zest. Jut opposite Job, on tho other sido of tho way, lived Lawyer I'cttibone. Tho Squire liked clgr (ls well at Job, and al ways kept them on hand. Duo morning when Job chanced to call into tho office, ho offered him one. This wos enough for Job. - Heiicuforth ho mado it a practice to call on Squiro I'eltibono onco a day; just after dinner, when tho lawyer usually tmo lied, and thus eecuro tho invitation to joiu him. Lawyers aro proverbially sharp, and it was not long beforo Squiro IVttibouo taw Job's drift. Resolving to foil him, ho pro cured a fire-cracker, und snaking a slit in a cigar, neatly inserted it, and then closed the itpperture. Tho next timo Job presented himself, tho cigar was tonderod him. Tho Squiro had previously finished i. " These nro mighty nico cigars of your'n," said Job for tho torlieth time, having fairly commenced proceedings?. Fur. fuz whizz bang! went tho crack, er, battering tho cigar to pieces, and liber, nlly btrowing Its contents over Job's face: .i What what's that ? "gasped Job in lurror. " Oh I "said tho Squiro, coolly, " I forgot to tell you. It's a new kind of cigar. Thoy. call it tho oxplosivo cigar. 1 liko It for my part, und shunt uso any other, henceforth." Job Greenfield's visits to Squiro Potts, bone's ollioo suddonly terminated, llo didn't see, for his part, how tlio bqujro coum nno " them tarnal cigars that Hy in n fellor's fuco so." Tho reason why eoino ioiilo put onjJs.t? eaueetheyJiWtiUi8thl"-1-'M,,;M,'i; ... "riwman who pledged his word and honor hat lout tho ticket. fluviT NiTim.vi. Oiiiio.nv. Mrs. lS'ott near Cincinnati, Is said to havo been petr tied by h r hufliaud's ciirs. Cuiiuot llarnuin obtain tho htatuo for exhibition .' Wo hear coimtuntly'.of absconding railroad con IrucloM. It is not a matter of mueh siirprtso, when U Is remembered that It Is n Kgular busl ncss with theso fellows to maAe rrar(. NvsrtcKEr. It Is stvtd In a llostou paper that' they have strawberries and crcura at Nan tticliot. Wo thought thu pioplo fed un whalo oil and scraps exclusively. Money, like beauty, Is greatly disparaged arid L-aKcrly sought, while poverty Is highly praised .V .' a.iP.. Vi.i...i it i uwn ii iro which olten happens Isitocloty that of cjdoglzlng peo via whom wo woul.lu't ussoolato vvltb, and sneer Ing tt others whom wo don't caro to " cut.' Tho Society of Kuow-N'otblngs dates further tack than the Masonic fraten. ty-se m md Ixv.lt, "Ann wu nwiivui r ,.,,. men out of Jerusalem; nhd thoy went In their I simplicity, nud they Aacie net anything' h ' . i- i 1 c c . v L tf - i i ' ' V 4 ' . H '- kl T! .4 M : sn r . . i' t W' V. W .Ah?!, ,j.