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About The new Northwest. (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 22, 1881)
THE NE W NORTH WEST; THUIISD AY DECEMBER 22, 1881.;
known a "the tramp,"
Keelv's motor it now
because It won't work.'
Another urgent reason 'why Ciuiteau should be
hanged la hia threat to lecture if he ! acquitted..
JHoneer ire. " .:
Tbe'oew ifyle bonnets may be pliotoprapWd by
' frlalkrainfc a ripe tomato against a board fence.
Jlebron Journal. ".7 "" " '
A party who has been unfortunate In stocks
says he believes If he should buy a ha! loon it
would not go upir-IJoton Commercial JIulletin:
.Whatever you have to do,' do it -witbTyour
might. Many a lawyer has made his fortune by
"Simply Working with a vl.Yonl;er$ Statesman.
Consolation. "My Love is Gone,". Is th.e title of
the latest song written by a young man in Boston.
. Of course this is rough, but Vtbe absent girl eats
. The planet Satornffrnow jn opbJiion ,q' the
sun. isui me sun win prooaoiy survive, in spue
of the, opposition -of Saturn and all hUirln;;.
LowellJUouricr. ' . J ,
Mr. Strauss, of Cincinnati; recently jrescued two
friends who fell In the water,' thus proving the
truth of the old saying, "Drowning men catch at
Strauss." Philadelphia Xcwg.
""A'drJriklnz man was told bv his physician to
hold his breath while he counted, hi pulse, but he
couldn't do It; His .breath was too strong for
him. Cincinnati Saturday Sight. ''. ..... -
A Springfield dairyman furnished butter to a
circus company recently, and wanted to get in on
the strength of it. The ticket agent examined
the butter and granted the request. ,
When two men In Lead vl lie r have a dispute,
they hire two lawyers togo lntocourtland Jteep.
the attention of the officers of the law while the
principals go back of a barn and fight it out.
The minister had preached an hour, when he
remarked: "Another wide field opens from .the
subject In another direction." .Just then, an old
colored saint ejaculated : "Please, Lord, shut up
tie bars." , " .
A Cincinnati 'man disappeared, and seven
detectives couldn't find him in nine weeks, Hut
shrewd politicians got the Mayor to appoint the
man to office, and two hours later he came in on
the run to be sworn In. ' '
'j. The financial failures in the United States
amount to about $1,000,JHK) per week. However
it may "be In thejbright lexicon of youthA irrthe
"tIg" books of "the co"mmerclar"agencies there cer
tainly 4a such-ftj ord as'fal)." ' r
A sarcastic Georgia editor, in noticing a fair
which recently came ofr in Macon, says : "One of
our contemporaries took a very valuable premium,
but a meddlesome and firm policeman made him
put it right back where he took it from." - -:"'n.j.z
A nure was telling about a man who. had
leco'me ho terribly worn o,ut by dissipation that
he could not keep any food on his stomach, when
one of her listeners anked, "What does he live on!
then?" ""On his relations,- ma'am," answered
the nurse. - r- - , -. y . '
A young lady at Mills Seminary, Who recently
sent us a poem entitled "Mumurings from the
Outer Utteraess," is informed that any pecuniary
assistance she can send to the widow of the man
ire gavetFtaread, wwl be gratefully re
ared ty- tht4aiyi".A jTTxnrfsmJL3ai
We can't help entertaining a severe respect for
that science which can Instantaneously photo
graph a flying horse, but forces a man to sit for
four eternal minutes in front or a camera, his head
-braeed-lnto-aypitehforkr-antj his-nervless eyea
-staring hopelessly Into the fathomless realms of
...A Poser. A" Sunday school .teacher, recently
expounding to his class the third chapter of
Genesis, came to the curse on the serpent; '.'Upon
thy belly shait thou go all the days pf thy life,"
when a sharp-eyed you ngster quietly looking up,
asked : "What did trie serpent walk upon afore,
sir ?" The reply of the teacher Is not recorded.
A prudent young man is asked by his friend :'
J'Why have you taken lodgings on the ground
floor-ryou who. are. always preaching that there
in ho'iir fit to be. breathed to be had short otflve
stories up?" J'l wfll tell you," he replies. "You
. see, I have taken a solemn oath that unless Miss
-Cragreeato-marTy-merl will throw myself trot of
the window. See?" j .
A Society Item. "Mary, lring Mrs. Smith a
glass of wine. (Eilt'Mary.) "ou must be so
tired after your walk. -Mary brings it.) Not
that way. my child. You should always bring it
a plate or a salver. llxU aiary.V bfte I very i
.. willing, but really sne knows so lime." Mary,
reentering with wine in a soup-plate : "Shall I
bring a spoon, ma'am, or will the lady lap it up?"
Practical Arithmetic "You can't add different
things together," said an Austin (Texas) school
teacher. "If you add a sheep and a cow together
it does not make two sheep nor two cows." A
- little boy, the son of an Austin avenue milk-man,
held up his hand and said: "That may do with
sheep and cows," tout if you add a quart of milk to
a quart of water, it makes two quarts of milk.
I've seen it tried.'' 1
"TX" soh or the late Rev! Tr! Xehem1ah"Adams, of
Boston, a highly orthodox divine, haa become a
speaker and writer against Christianity.7 On
the other hand, it is said that one of Colonel In-
frersoll'a daughters is a convert to Presbyterian
m. .. ' . ; !:-
Senator Hill, of Georgia, now speaks with a pre
ceptlble lisp, but his physicians assure him that It
will wearoir, and-lbat the cancer. on his tongue
may be considered cured.
A choice assortment of new and elegant toys
has been added to his oyster and confectionery
parlors by Sam. I Reary, corner, of Fourth and
Yamhill streets. . He sells as low as any house in
the city. ' - U. - .
Decorated Dinner and Tea Sets, at'Ackerman's
Dollar Store. . ; . ' .
Terra Cotta Ornaments, at Ackerman's Dollar
HE WORKS rOR A 1.1.1
UK WORKS KOK ALL J
11 K WORK A FOR ALL!
UK WORK FOR ALL j
HE WOKKrt FOR ALL I
IK" WORK FOR ALL!
IK WORKH KOK ALL!
IK WOKKri KOIt Al.l.r'
UK WORKH FOIALLI -JIK
WORKM For ALL!
1IIMF.H THE PRINTER.
HI MEM THE PRINTER,
111 ME THE PRINTER,
HIM KS TH V. PRINTER.
HIM KM T H K, PRINTER,
HI M KM TH K PRINTER,
W AfcH I NOTON HTREET. - -
6 WA.HHINUTON HTREETJ .
ft WAMHINOToy HTREKT. -
ft WAHHINOTON HTRKKT. -
ft WA8HIN(JTON HTRKET.
4 WASH I NJTN lTKEET.-'"r,utv
6 WAMHlN(iTON HTREET.
ft WAMH1NOTON HTRKKT. '':
ft' WAMHINOTON STREET. '
ft WAHHINHTON STREET. '
(Old "HATIOHAL," EiUblithed 1866),'
H. 139 Vrvmt Mtret, hU WmSIsiUs mm Alder.
PORTIA N D, OREOON. '
A. P. A RMMTRONU. .......'. ..........,t...Prlaelpl
J . A . W KM VG . .. ; . . (. .IVZZ-Pe mmm Meerclary
Designed for the Busineii Education of Both
Sezei. Student admitted on any week-day of the
year. "So examination on entering.
KATE r TlITlO.fi
Nrif OI.AKnillP, Bnnliifw Can
TELEUKAPIIY. Osspete rant
WKITI9IU. Per Cm.u
PEJT WnRK of ell Vind done in the mot Artie
tie manner at reasonable rates. "Send for esti
mate. "J - . ' ; . ' .
The "College. Journal," containing information
of Course, and cuts of OrnamentallPenmanship,
-free. - Address ' " : -
A. P. AEMSTEOHO, -
Lock Box 104, Portland, Oregon.
rWeerfullr nwrnmend the prnt msDacement of
th Portland ItuxineHii Collrgr. MrArmatrouR. whom I
.ltveltliuwn-fur tuyeafl iy PrtiB4 Titrhr
ntl m Practical BQalneaa Man. H. M. DkPRANCE,
ul ' PrllentoaNirirtonal"Oolleg.
i. W. BRAZES.
OKU. L. HIBBARP. .
GEO. L HIBBARP & CO
' Xavaa FrwNt nuJmrUmmdt Or
ts ee ----
a . , . c r
-ll 1? Si id ! A
biiu m iiPifaaie iw mra in
DOOT8, 'SHOES AffID RUDDERS,
: ' Shoe Laces, Ladies'-. Shoe Polish,
""' """'" " Hi ifiini nt An. If mm.
T h Ibbar ntt-mattr1VwtJl wr 1 n "lr TtTlft e"
'1T "T Great rhanff" make money. Thoa who
jjXjt al way lake advkiilHK" of the food, rhanrea
for making money -that are ortered, renerafly . become
wealthy, while thoae who do Jiot" Improve aucn chanrea
remain In poverty. We want many men, women, hoya
and Rlrla to work for ua right In their' own loralltlea.
Anyone ran do the work properly from the flint atari, The
bualneaa will pay more than ten tlmea ordinary wasea.
Expenalve outfit furnlahed free. No one who engage falla
make money rapidly.., iouah devote your whole time
the work, or only your Hpure momenta. Full Informa
tion and all that- la nreded aent free. Addreaa Htihhon A
Co., Portland, Malne1', , 1 dtZt
PIONEER STEAM DYEINQ AND CLEANING! WOKW7
iniAPr. a col. -r . ' '
900 Third street, bet. Balaion iyid Taylor. JurtUod. Qrefoa,
Sllha, UlveU. L4lM Vreaara. Desk a. Msstlllsa, Fealken
i IH CBUT IMiBIBC
Cleaned and i)yed In, any Hbade or Color.
All work warranted.
. C. BROMAVOH. ' C.
,x douphronaOch; dolph a simon,'
' . Attorney $-at-Lato, , ' ,
ODD FELLOWS' TEMPLE, PORTLAND, OREOON.
,-; wtf ,
. o. P. MASON, jLZ-rA
Altomttf-at-Law and Sotary-Pubtief
Room 10, poo Fkllows' TkMrLK.
J. I. DALT. ' " , ". L. BCTLBB.
. DALY A BUTLIR,
Attorney$-at-Lau. ' :Z
ornCE Mais Btbekt, Dallas, Ossoowr ,
SPECIAL" ATTENTION GIVEN TO ALL LEOAL BU8
Ineaa. ' maJ-Sl tf
DR. J. WING OLIVER,
. JlomajHtthie Phyu:ian and Surgeon
HAH REMOVED OFFICE AND RESIDENCE TO THE
K. E. corner or Alder and Fonrtli atreeu, diagonally
aroaa the at reel from the ibtpttet church.
MRS. DR. OWENS
i FTER THREE YEARS' ABSENCE, HA REAUMTI
. practice. OrrtrB trver I1ummera drug store, corner
Finland Main etreeU. t
-Special attention given to dlaeaaes of the' E"ye and
the Ear. ' ; set
MRS. OR. FORD WARREN.
OrriCE Roomi 4 and S, Monnaatea'nulldtnr,I87 and 1SB
Ckdrn7,,( lU,Ut,,H '"eU 10 i,imrdx
The Northwestern Marriage Insurance Go.
, " Or PORTLAND, OREGON.
-;-r 1 N COJU 1011 ATK I : UIS I Ell Tl I E OFlOREOON.
Charter Perpetual Capital, SI 00,000.00.
4. f .- .r!
CHARLES IIEGKLK, ProsUlenW
J AMES STEEL, Treasurer. . '
- HENRY ACKERMANk VIce-rresldent.
" ALFRED S, GROSS, Secretary.
J. W. WH ALLEY, of
t the law Arm of Whalley. Fechbelmer A, Ach. ,
HENRY At'KERMAN. of H. Ackerinan A CV.. Wliolesale Crockery.
JAM10S STEEL, Cashier First National Rank.
S. JULIUS MAYER, of Fleckenstein A.Mayer, Wholesale Liquors.
CHARLES HEUELE, of Alisky A Hegele, Wholesale Vonfttionera.
1)OLI('IEH or FROM ONE THOl'HANIt TO TEN THtH'HAND DOLLAKM EACH . IHNUED TO ITNMARRIK1
peraona of good moral character uMn payment of an amiuul premium (l li on each thousand for malee and
femalea under 10; and $S pr year on' each thounanil for all above that , for the flmt four year; after which
only f I wr thouaand will lie charirctl during unmarried life. In addition to thcae annual premium, and commencing
nest Fetirunry, a monthly rate, graded according to age, will a I no he levlwl upon each flow of Insurance, vla.i On
icmalea undo lu I tnnu kt tu U. t Jfe; frtMn 41 ii, tl tirfmm it to tit, ti 2T front 18 11, tl 75; from 1 1 to 17, T
: St; 17 upward. U ttK On malea under llyeara,75ccnta; from 10 to 12, 11; Uto 14, II 50; It to IS, 11 73; IS to 20, ti 60 ;
W a. ii m ; miii inni ii upwani, i nu.
Thoae holding pollclea of t-'Mio or leaa are not, under pain of forfetfare, allowed to marry within als months from the
r In which marriage occura at the rate of 21
further Intel-cat ceaaea. For example! A
of t.'l SO, and marrlea als moutha froiu the date of hla iiollcy : he atlll continue to iay ti M per moath until the
date of auch policy, and thone holding pollclea of a greuter amount than Ware not allow
policy February lat, 1HW!, r HOtiO, paying A ; within thirty daya from that day he commence paying monthly dues
toinarrv within the Aral rear.
IVIIctea are navable at the end of the vear In which -niurrlae occura at the rate of 2V oer cent for every rear from the
date and. amount of policy, after which all further Interna ceaaee. For example! A, who la 24 years old, lake oat a
... VI U.MIIW miM IllVIIktl 1 1 VI 1 1. .UV U.1. f NIrj , III. .till (. I II L 1 1 1 U ( Itf HIJ .J W .UVUIH HUM. ftUW
flrat of February.-IHKS. wit en he recelvea oue-fourth the ameuot of hla imiIIcv. leaa four annual nremluma. leaving him
t'M net, having only paid out its, and hla policy la then canceled. B la of theaameage.and take out a like policy at the
aame time, but marrlea the aecond year, and recelvea twice aa much aa A did. -C take out like policy, and maniea the
third year thereafter, receiving three tlmea aa much heneflla aa A, or three-fourth the amount of hla Insurance. I) alao
takea out a similar policy, but full to marry until th end of the fourth year thereafter, when h. receives the full
amount, tltiui. E took nut a policy of .V at the aame time, paid Ave times aa milch premiums nd monthly due, bm
recelvtMl, according to date of marriage, Ave tlmea aa much benefit; and so on for any other agea or amount.
Parties residing where no agency haa yet been established may procure policies sy sending direct to th bom office
or nearest agency, giving date and place of birth, and at the same 41 me remitting by money order, regUtered letter or
check I) or Srt, according to age aa stated above, for each I(MJ of Insurance desired.
j nis i pwreiya noma institution, and the natneaor the mcera,dl rectors and reference given in circular, WIIB ita
stock capital, are a sumoiant guaranty of It perfee4 reliability.
Euergetlragenta wanted everywhere. All authorised ace n I a are nndertionda.and carry their com mission
Aa to the feaaiblllty of this plan of Insurance aud the ability of the company to promptly meet all Ita engagements,
or for any other particulars, addreaa
Humk Orrics Room JWi, I'nlon lllo-k (entrance on Hlark atreet), Portland, Oregon,
D, W. PRENTICE & CO.,
A. 8. CROSS, 8ortary.
No. 107 Firt Street, Portland, Oregon.
foTLargett Stock of XXusioal Merollandise on the Northwest Coast. "wit
- FALL SEASON, i 881.
'r We hsT Jait BeceiTed the
Fancy and Furnishing Goods!
fcVER BROUGHT TO THE PACIFIC COAST.
Special Inducements offered to Established Milliners and all who design
- Starting Business.
Our long experience with the trade enables us to supply. Retail Dealers with exactly what is needed
iiicir cunvuiciii uuuum w muw guiius
: Imiortra nml Wltolossulo Dealera,
Wrmmi mm4 Flral ria, Wtweeai Aah aatal Via. rrtlaiL draapai.
8HINDLER dc CHADBOURNE,
Manufacturers of Furniture,
Carpeto, Furniture, Mirroro, B.ed-
'. ding, etc.
BCII00L DESKS A BPEClALTYy
faTHml for Catuloipuo ryicl IrlooIL.lflit. '
War-rooma esUnd through 900 feet, from El rat to Front Streets, beiwa
Morrison and yamniii, i"ort land, uregon.
H. M. 17 U08, Dentlsi.
For th Interest of the public, I have resolved to do flrat
elaa work at the, prtoeat -
Het of Teeth on Oold Plates..M.m.L.....t.') M and upward
eet of Teeth on hubter.... . . 12 M and upward
Het of Teeth en Celluloid. ....... . 10 00 and upward
old Filling......... .-y.i ........,. () and upward
Mllver and Bone Filling I W and upward
Eitractioa of Teeth, with Pa.- .....tl 09
Orncs At OaJlery oa Fifth HL.opp: 101 Offle.
' Ofltee stwsira. all boar, ' JyS
use no 8 C PILLS.
On Esmond "Dock, at font ut Morrison atreet.
ALL at III ON Or WOOD. '
Rawed fad ansawad, constantly on hand, sad delivered to
all part of th city. , ,r
JULIUS) MORKygEy. Proprietor...
LIVERY, HACK AND FEED STAILES
Cjtraer aeai1 mm trnflw Mreeta. . .
Reaaonahl Charge for Hlr and BoardlBgC naek order
promptly attended. Day or Night.
V " V w a n i i m m a i iim i rronrletAra
TH C-AU ROR AR EST AU ft AflTjj
.Northwest eorner Front and Alder streets.
Is th Only Plac In Portland where yoo eaa get ;
UOOB laUH NIAL KOI M CEVTa