Oregon City enterprise. (Oregon City, Or.) 1866-1868, February 01, 1868, Image 1

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$)c taJcdilij (Enterprise.
V. the Court Howse, Oregon City, Oregon.
Term of Subscription.
Oat copr, one year in advance $S 00
il delayed 4 00
T-wm of Advertising
transient adrertisements, per square
(12 linesor less) first insertion ---2Y
' "For each subsequent insertion 100
(Business Cards one square per annum
' payable quarterly " JO
Oite column per annum Ij'J w
On half column " 0
One quarter " " - - : 'J
Legal adTertising at the established rates.
:SoFanOobPrinting !
wii pvat-v reauisite for doimj
. superior style of work, and is constant-
ly acciwnUtin?tsw and beautiful styles
o of material, and is prepared for every
Tariff ty of
353-The Public are invited to call and
examine both our specimens and facilities
for doing wort.
Dr. F. Barclay, M. R. C L.
(Formerly Surgeon to the lion. II. B. Co.)
OFFICE: At Retidtnee,
Main Street ?- Oregon City.
Physician, Surgeon and Accoucheur.
OFFICE Corner of Washington aud Front
streets, Parrish's Block, Portland, Oregon.
RESIDENCE Washington street, between
Fourth and Fifth streets. 22.1y
0. P. MASON,
iAttoexev and Counselor at Law,
102Q?ront St., Portland, Oregon.
VV Court iu the Stats or Washington
Territory. Including business under the
JSankrup't Law. S7.IJ
D. 111. McKENNEY,
Attorney and Counsellor at Late.
W business entrusted to his care.
O-ricu One door north of Bell &. Parker's
irb store, Oregon City, Oregon. 3:ly
.A. C. GIBBS. C. w- PARRISn,
Xutiry Pullic and Com. of L'ecds.
Attorneys and Counselors at Law,
OFFICE On Alder street, in Cart;r's
TKvr Brick Block. n3
w. c. jomxsos. r. o. ii cows.
Notary I'ublic.
' Z'-T Will attn5 t all business entrusted
4. our care in aiy of the Courts of the State,
f.illect money, egouat-e teaus, 6ell real es
Stite, etc.
Of rpai ticularttentioH gireD to contested
Irtud cases. l vl
jAiorneys and Counselors at Law,
Solicitors An Chancery, and
Real Justais Ayents.
Will practice'tn the Courts of the second,
uird and fourth Judieiitl Ttstncta, and in the
tJuprerae Court of (Sir pen.
I-?"" Speiul attention piven "to t?te collec
tion of cluiwis stall poiutsin the above nain
d districts.
Otlice in ParrislTs eriok "bcilSing, Albany,
Orcnon: (?
G Mitchell, Dolph & Saitb,
Attorneys and Vonnselhrs at Law,
Solicitors in Chancery, and Proc
tors in Admiralty.
t5f Oflice o-er the old PostCfBce, Front
atreet, Portland, Oregon.
Ortgon UT Ortgoa.
(Ec in Charmau's Brick Block, up
tairs. (5)-.t0
Justice of the Peace tfr City Recorder.
Office In the Court House and City
Council Room, Oregon City.
Will attend to the acknowledgment cf
- deeds, and all other duties appertaining to
'the uliice of Justice of the Peace. 2:ly
" J. B. UPTON,
Attorney and Cocnselor'AtLaw,
Oregon City, Oregon.
lf OfTice over the store of Pope & Co.,
MiiiOtreet. 4-.tf
Attorney and Cocnsellob at-Law,
f5jr- OlGce 106 Front street, Tortland, Ore
gon. (40.6m
(Late Ferry & Foster,)
ZC ( J31&. JBB2
No. 108 Front street, Portland.
Agent North British and Mercantile
Insurance Company.
And Manhattan Life Insurance Co
Bonds, and B)Cal Estate bought and
old on Commission. f 3 : 1 J
Green Street Oswrego, Oregon.
Post faster and Dealer in
r Orocrrlrs, Wines and Liquor t
' Fred. Muller,
Original Paxaratta
-n Uecs to announce 10 nis oia
V customers and the public, that
His New Restavrant,
- .
5ri- Main Street.
Nearly Opposite Woolen Factory,
W. I WHITE, t - ,
T.W. RUOADES, ) Proprietors.
Oregon City, Oregon.
We invite the citizens of Oregon City, and
the traveling public, to give us a share of
their patronage. Meals can be had at all
hours, to please the most fastidious. 15
Notice to the Public.
I HAVE this day closed the Barlow House
in favor of the Cliff House. Hope mv
old customers will give their liberal patron
age to the above well kept house. They
will tind Messrs. White fc Hhondes always
on hand to make guests comfortable.
Oregon City, August 1, 13G7.
Main Street Oregon City.
JACOB B0EHM, Proprietor.
The undersigned wishes to give notice
that from Saturday, October 5th, 1S67, prices
at the above house will be as follows :
Board and Lodging per week 5 00
Board without Lodging 4 00
Board and Lodging per dav 1 00
Oregon City, Oct. 3d, 1867. 50:tf
X. 84 Front street, Pcirtluiul Oregon.
L. P. W. QUIMI5Y, Proprietor.,
(Latt of Western HvUl.)
This house is the most commodious in the
State, newly furnished, and it will be the en
deavor of the proprietor to make his guests
comfortable. The Baggnsje Wagon will al
ways be found at the land'ng on the arrival
of steamships and river boats, carrying bag
gage to the house free of charge. 17.1r
JOHN SCHADE Proprietor,
IS now prepared to receive and entertain
all who mfiy favor him with their patron
age. The House is New and the Rooms are
Newly and Neatly Furnished. The Table
will be supplied with all the delicacies of
the season. The House is situated near the
steamer landing. The proprietor will at all
times endeavor to give entire satisfaction to
all who may favor him with a call, and
would respectfully solicit the patronage of
the Traveling I'ublic. 41:tf.
Board per week J 5 00
Board and Lodging 6 00
Simile Meals 50
ImpcrjU&i Mills,
Jf Parties wanting feed must furnish
their sacks. SO.tf
john hTTcITram,
Manufacturer and Dealer in
etc., etc..
Main street, between Third aud Fourth,
Oregon City.
r"MIE attention of parties desiring anything
1 in my line, is directed to my stock, be
fore making purchases elsewhere.
Established since lSl'.i, at the old stand,
Main Street, Oregon Citt.
An assortment of Watches, Jew
elry, and Seth Thomas' weight
Clocks, all of which are warranted
to be as represented.
Kcpai rings done on snort notice.
and thankful for past favors. (37
No. 45 Front st., Portland Oregon.
Tobacco, Cigars, Snuff", Stationery,
Yankee Notions, and Toys.
Orders promptly attended to. (4.tf
Vagon and Carriage Maker, Main
street, Oregon City.
Wagons made to order, snd all work in
this line executed in the most satisfactory
manner, at reasonable rates.
if All kinds of country producetaken
in exchange for work, at cash prices. Give
me a trial. 47:tf
William Broughton,
Main street-, Vrpen Hjiiy.
Will attend to all work in his iir.es Con
sisting in part of Carpenter and Joiner work
framing, buildiDg, etc. Jobbing promptly
attended to. (52
West Side Main, Street, between Second and
Third, Ortgon -CU-p.
Tfec proprietor begs teav to inform bin
friends and the public generally that the
above named popular saloon is open for their
accommodation, witha new and well assort
ed supply of the finest brands of Wines
liquors and cigars. 52
J. c. mans. tiios. Least.
Fashion Billiard Saloon.
Main street, between Second and Third,
Oregon City.
MANN & LEARV Proprietors.
THE above long established and popular
Saloon is yet a favorite resort, and as
only the choicest brands o( Wines, Liquors
and Citf-ars are dispensed to customers a
share of the public patronage is solicited.
N. H. Families supplied with the
choicest Liquors, English Ale and Porter
in bottles, on the most reasonable terms.
Chemicals, Patent Medicines, Paints,
Perfumery, Oils, Varnishes,
And every article kept in a Drug Store.
S3.) Main Strest, Oregon Citt.
: rv jt rn "sn ir a cr
J J W Jtt. JCj A 9
Oregon City, Oregon.
pared to make all manner of ware in the
line of cooperage, from a well-bucket to a
hogshead, of both bilge and straight work,
on short notice, and at reasonable rates.
Call and examine samples of our work, as
it is itown recommendation.
The Forsaken to tUc False O
I dare thee to forget me !
Go; wander where thou wilt,
Thy hand upon the vessel's helm,
Or on the sabre's hilt ;
Away ! thou art free, o 'er land or sea.
Go. rush to dangers brink
But, oh! thou canst not fly from thought,
Thy curse will be to think 1
Remember me, remember all
My long, enduring love,
That linked itself to perfidy,
The vulture and the dove!
Remember, in thy utmost need,
I never onee did shrink,
But clung to thee confidingly ;
Thy curse will be to think I
Then go! that thought shall render thee
A dastard in the fight :
That thought, when thou art tempest-tost,
Will fill the with affright!
In some dark dungeon niayst thou lie,
And counting evch cold link
That binds thee to captivity
Thy curse will be to think!
Go, seek the merry banquet hall
Where younger maidens bloom,
The thought of me shall make thee there
Endure a deeper gloom :
That thought shall turn the bitter cup
To poison while you drink
And while false smiles are on thy cheek,
Thy curse will be to think !
Forget me ! false one, hope it not !
When minstrels touch the string,
The memory of other days
Will gall thee when they sing !
The melodies I used to love,
Will make thy conscience shrink,
Aye, every note will have its sting
Thy curse will be to think !
Forget me! no that shall not be ;
I'll haunt thee In thy sleep ;
In dreams thou 'It cling to slimy rocks
That overhang the deep
Thou"lt shriek for aid, my feeble arm
Shall hurl thee from the brink !
And when thou wak'st in wild dismay
Thy curse vill be to think!
Influences of tlie Moon.
The moon is thouzht by old wires
to infl ueuce the life of a child. Thus
the child born on the first day of the
new moon is fortunate in all its uti-
dertnkings, and will live long; one
born on the fifth day will be vain and
deceitful; and one born the sixth will
live long; one born on the seventh
will have a life of trouble; one born
on the ninth will be rich; one
born on the tenth will be a great
traveler; one born on the eleventh
will be a devotee to religion; one
born on the sixteenth will be grate
ful and unfortunate; one born on the
eighteenth will be brave; one born on
the nineteenth will be full of malice;
one born on the twenty. first will be
strong and healthy, but selfish; one
born on the twenty-second will be
cheerful, bnt inclined to low society;
one born on the twenty-third will be
ungovernable, will forsake family and
friends, and wander in a foreign
country unhappy through life; one
born on the twenty .fourth will have
extraordinary ability; one born on
the twenty-fifth will be desperately
wicked and come to a fearful death;
one born on the twenty seventh will
be amiable; one born on the thirtieth
will have the acme of all good gifts,
temporal and spiritual.
A baby's nails must never be cut
till it is a year old, or it will be a
thief. A child with a blue vein
across its nose will never wear its
wedding clothes; should it chance to
outlive its infancy it will bring sor
row and disgrace to all belonging to
it. A babe that cries at its christen
ing will live rong$ if you bathe it on
Sunday it will be sorrow free if on
Wednesday it will grow beautiful; if
on Thursday it will grow fat; if on
Friday all its sins will be forgiven;
if on Saturday it will be unhealthy.
There are certain other superstU
Irons applying to grown people If
you cut your nails on Sunday, it
provokes Monsieur le Diable to such
a degree that he'll shave you all the
week, and lead you into mischief.
If you clip your hair at the hew
moon, it will grow long at the full; as
the moon wanes your hair will fall
out. If you don Dew clothes on a
Sunday youll be happy; if on Mon..
day they'll tear; if on a Tuesday,
they Ml bum; if on a Wednesday,
you'll have plentyj if on a Friday,
you'll be unlucky; if on a Saturday,
you won't live to enjoy them. Every
one, silently or openly, is a little
suspicious regarding Friday yet few
could give a reason
Among the signs of growth iu
Italy is the application of the co
operative system in Venice. A pla
card has just appeared oa the walls
of that city inviting the working
classes to join a co-operative store.
Its primary object is to buy oil,
flour, rice, and other provisions at
wholesale prices, and then to sell
them at a small profit, pledging that
the money will be refunded in a giv
en time s-.v thirtr tear.
We do not mean if you agree to
but bad policy to agree to do it
Any man who is able to pay rent can
build a house. This will strike you
as a bold proposition, and one hard
to prove bat reason with us. It is
hardly our interest to discourage che
renting of houses, but we will waive
interest and go for principal.
First, You say you have no lot.
Lease one then, or buy one on time.
You have no lumber or material.
You are paying from $100 to $200
per annum torrent. When you pay
it it's gone, and at the end of two or
three years you have paid out enough
to build a house, but still you are a
renter. All you need is to anticipate
these payments say for a year bor
row out of a bauk or otherwise, and
give your rising building as security
for enough to buy the lumber put
up the frame for : say four rooms
finish one or two to live in, instead
of paying rent. Now, finish them
one by one, as you are able, and in
two or three years time you can be
gin to pay for your leased lot and
own it yourself.
Next, You are afraid of mortgages
you say. Why, mortgages are the
poor man's friend. They are like the
life boat to a wreck, for a man who
is debt. They build all our railroads,
and great internal improvements
They are perfectly harm.es?, if you
only understand them. Mortgages
are foreclosed sometimes but then,
you have time in which to redeem,
and any kind of a financier, who will
work, can keep ahead of them. If
you will pay the interest promptly,
which yon can do easier than to pay
rent, your mortgage will not be apt to
be foreclosed. It you are sharp you
can play with them like Ilerr Dries
bach and the lions, and they won't
bite you. Moreover, robbing Peter
to pay Paul is not robbery, if Peter
is willing, and will lend you the mon
ey on a new mortgage to pay off the
old one and there arc always Peters
who live by doing just this kind of
The process of knocking an old
mortgage oa the head, whenever it
grows ugly and threatens violence, is
a familiar one to all good financiers.
Use your wits. Work more with
head, and you need not work so much
with your hands.
The richest men in the world are
those who commenced on nothing and
have lifted themselves up by their
boot straps. Localize this proposi
tion if you please pick out the most
wealthy in your own immediate neigh
borhood, and then say we are not
correct if you can. These i4the!it
men have all of them financiered like
our Radicals without money. Issue
your bonds, give the road-bed and
superstructure of your new house as
security and gO ahead.
But here again, some nice yoiYng
man answers that his richer associates
and friends will snub him if he lives
in that style. Here is a great error
of young men, and we wish to call
particular attention to it. They can
not stand to be " socially tabooed."
Our experience shows that the taboo
ing are generally inferior in brains to
the tabooed. It is in the highest de
gree foolish to even wish to commence
life in as elegant style as our fathers
lived after twenty .five year's hard la
bor, and yet, this is the too common
error of the age the prolific sonrce
of celibacy and bachelorhood which
operates as a fraud upon good looking
girls, who are cheated out of hus
bands by it.
Young friend but more especially
our young married friends act inde-pendently--take
a longer look at
things--$wJ the znubbers, mnd make
ihim sick of it-! and ia five years
or less you will be bowed to and
courted by the same class of men.
The good will of such is purchased
at too dear a price. It is not worth
You are a coward a toady. You
are willing to sell your home and in
dependence for weak and unmanly
sentimentalist!!. afe to follow your
own line of policy, if it is honest,and
for your interest to do so, and not al
low weak aud snobbish pride to con
sign you to hard labor for life-, as the
tenant and vassal of your landlord.
By following this advice the thous
ands of dollars you would give away
fer rent in ten years, and have noth
ing to show for, will give you a home
of comfort and elegance, with a wife
and family, and all the " influence" of
our respected citizens. " This is the
way, walk ye in it." It leads to inde
pendence, respectability and honor.
No person who has ever crossed
the plains, from the Missouri to
the Pacific, has the least scruples
about saying that the scenery on the
overland route outrivals the most fa
mous of Europeau note: Speakiug of
the "Niagara of the West" the
Desret Evening News, published at
Salt Lake City, says :
A week ago, Mr. C. R. Savage, of
the firm of Savage & Ottinger, went
north to obtain by photographic pro
cess, pictures of some of the finest
scenes at and around the vicinity of
Snake river falls. The result of his
trip appears in a series of views,
which are entitled to rank very high
as works of art for their delicacy of
outline, and the exquisite manner in
which they are toned, the manipula
tion being very superior. But apart
from their superiority as works of
art, these views are interesting and
valuable for the scenes represented.
The great west is still to a considera
ble extent unexplored ; and its beau
ties and sublime scenery, now com
paratively unknown, will in a few
years attract the attention of thou
sands of sight-seers, tourists, and
earth-wanderers, who tired of the oft
looked at scenery of Italy and Switz
erland, will seek the wonderful and
sublime in nature now hidden in the
Rocky Mountains, yet to be devel
oped. Here, in the views before us, is
the " Niagara of the West," the great
Snake River Falls, the savage grand
eur and wild sublimity of which are
almost indescribable. Snake river, or
the Lewis Fork of the Columbia,
winding its way in a north-westerly
direction, suddenly reaches and dash
es over a full of thirty feet, its vol
ume being broken into half a dozen
streams by dark rocks rushing out
of its flood. A little farther on, di
viding into three streams, It bounds
down a wall of rocks some sixty feet
in depth; while still a li'.tle farther
on, its waters suddenly narrowed to
about four hundred feet, the v. hc'.c
river leaps in one unbroken body
down a precipice of two hundred and
ten feet. The ever rising mist, with
its changing prismatic hues the wild
leap of the mad river down into the
abyss beneath ; the frowning and
jutting rocks of black and grey, which
cast their shadows over the sluggish,
leaden-looking water, that seems ex
hausted after its desperate leap; the
dark look of the towering banks
which rise a thousand feet above the
river; and the deafening rear which
ever meets the ear, combine to form
a picture of nature's power, sublimity
and grandeur, before which man can
only stand awe-struck, filled with rev
erence and admiration. These Falls
are four miles from the crossing of
Rock creek, on the coach road be
tween this city and Boise-, the capital
ot Idaho.
Another view is that 'Of the rising
of the Unknown river a marvel in
nature which will attract many a
tourist. It pushes out of the bank
of Snake river Valley, hear the Over
land ferry, with a volume equal to
that of Big Cottonw'ood, and empties
into the river.
Then follow scenes at and round
Bear river bridge, including the
bridge, the hotel of Godbe & Ilamp
ton, and the office of Wells, Fargo 6z
Co., at Bear river north. The hotel
is as much fioer looking building than
one would expect to see in such a 1c
cality, being bUiltof rock, two stories
high, and beautifully finished; and is
presided over by our well known
citizen, Ben. Hampton, Esq. The
bridge, also erected by Messrs. Gods
be of this city and Nichols oF Box
Elder, is a substantial looking and
apparently well built structure, judg
ing by the sharp and well defined
photograph of it, which has been
But the points cf greatest interest
are those first mentioned, least
kuown, and now for the first time
photographed, though, we believe,
they have been sketched before.
Messrs. Savage & Ottinger deserve
credit for their enterprise in giving
to the world, for the first time, cor.
rect views of these scenes and marvels
of nature, which may be expected to
be soon much sought after by those
who admire nature in her wildest and
most sublime moodsv
The public will be interested in
knowirg that tho great Shoshone
falls, or Snake river falls, and the ab
sorbingly interesting natural wonders
which abound in that region, can be
reached, within a short distance, by
Wells, Fargo Sz Co.'s regular coaches
on the northern line.
Nearly all the successors of Wash
ington, in the Presidency of the
United States, both the deceased and
the livinc, passed or are passing their
closing years in the dignified tran
quility of rural pursuits. One of the
most distinguished of them, Mr. Jef
ferson, invented the hill-side plough.
Adams, Calhoun, Clay and Webster,
forgot the collossal anxieties, the
stern contentions, the herculean la
bors and the thankless sacrifices of
the public service, in the retirement
of the country, and the calm and
healthful pursuits of agriculture. One
of these four great men it was not
my fortune personally to behold in
the enjoyment of these calm and ra
tional pleasures,said Edward Everett,
but I well remember hearing him say
with a radiant counlenace, that there
was nothing in the triumph or honors
of public life so grateful to his feel
ings as his return to his home in
Carolina, at the close of the session
of Congress, when every individual
on his plantation, not excepting the
humblest, came out to bid him wel
come and to receive the cordial pres
sure of his hand. 1 was often the
witness of the heartfelt satisfaction
which Mr. Adams enjoyed on his
ancestral acres, especially in con
templating the trees planted by him
self, thousands of which are now
scattered over the estate. While he
ministered in this way to the p-ratifi-cation
and service of other times, he
felt that he was discharging no small
portion of the debt which each gener
ation owes to its successors. Adopt
ing a tree a the device of his seal,
he added to it a3 the expressive
motto, the words which Cicero quotes
with approbation from an ancient
Latin poet, Alteri saculo. Mr.
Adams took particular pleasure in
watching the growth cf some white
maples, the tteds of which he had
gathered as they dropped from parent
trees in front of that venerable hall
in Philadelphia, which echoed to his
honored father's voice in the great
argument of American Independence.
At Ashland, in 1S20, I rode over his
extensive farm, with the illustrious
orator and statesman of the WestJ
and as the "swinish multitude," at
tracted by the salt which he liberally
scattered from his pocket, came run
ning about us, in the beautiful wood
land pasture, carpeted with that fu
mous Kentucky blue grass, he good
humoredly crmpared them to the
ofiice seekers, who hurry to Wash.,
ington, at the commencement ol an
administration, attracted by the well
flavored relish of a good salary. Mr.
Webster, reposing on his farm, at;
Marshfield, from the toils of the fo
rum, and the conflicts of the Senate,
resembled the mighty ocean, which
he so much loved, which, after as
saulting the cloudy battlement of the
sky, with all the seething artillery of
his furious billows, when the gentle i
south-west winds sings truce to the
elemental war, calls home his rolling
mountains to their peaceful level,
and mirrors the gracious heavens in
this glassy bosom.
Cromlech. M. de Closmadeuc
has discovered, writes the New York
Tribune, in a small desert island in
the Bay of Morbihan, France, a very
fine Cromlech, containing more than
sixty obelisks of granite, forming a
regular circle of 180 meters in cir
cumference. A curious fact is, that
only one-half of this Cromlech, which
is supposed to have been a Drudical
altar, is now on dry land, owing to
the encroachment of the sea. M. de
Closmadeuc has made large excava
tions in the neighborhood, and dis
covered an enormous quantity of
pottery, similar to that found in
Celtic monuments, several hundred
flints worked by man, as well as a
large number of stone hatchets.
The manufacture of artificial fuel
from Consolidated coal-dust, al
though commercially unsuccessful in
this country, has met with a very
different result abroad. Twenty es
tablishments in France produce an
nually 500,000 tons. In Belgium
seven manufacturers turn out 400,000
tons, while in other countries the
produce, though lessj is very consid
erable. Sir Frederick Bruce usually de
sired to ride in other cars than those
filled with smokers and chewers.
Whenever he travelled he was under
the ludicrous necessity of taking his
cook with him as a means of obtain
ing admittance to the ladies' car.
" That's the rock on Which we
split,'' said Charley to his wife, when
he asked hicn to rock the cradle.
Fun is always observed on board
a steamer where there are jolly of
ficers. The following is no doubt
true, to the core, and is so like some
of our good natured acquaintances
; on board" that it might almost as
well be adopted as an Oregon joke:
The story is that a popular co
median, of whom nothing turther
need be said than that he is fast los
ing his early pretensions to shape
and beauty, and that his name is
Tom, once npon a time and, if there
be any curiosity as to season, we
might as well say " during the Fall''
was descending the Mississippi, in
fine spirits, and a sporting coat.
There were divers queer characters
on board of the steamer, with whom
Tom, while amusing himself with
their peculiarities, was withal a great
favorite, but none of them " cottoii'd'''
to him more kindly than an elderly
" hoosier," from the innermost depths
of Indiana, who was visiting New
Orleans for the first lime This
russet-looking antique, whether it
was from the coemdian's sporting
buttons, or his habit of concluding a
controversy with " I'll bet you," etc.,
fully made up his mind that Tom
was a " gentleman sportsman," and
wherever he raw a " small game"
going on he was careful in noting
the skiil and quality of the players,
the " size of the pile," etc., and bring
ing Tom the items. The ''gentle
man sportsman" was very much
obliged, of course, though 1-3 didn't
exactly know what to make of it,
when, one day, the confidential
hoosier took him aside, told him that
there was a " smart chance of a
pile" on one of the tables, and that,
if he liked, he (the hoosier) would
" go in with him in cahoot'' Tom
was very much amused at this, but
told his proposing partner that he
was mistaken; that tha fancy coat
covered not -a " sportsman,' but a
"Swan to grccicus!" exclaimed
the old contriver, ''one of them fel
lers that tumbles! Seen 'em, once,
raore'n half naked, cuttiiv up, down
to Madison-!''"
Tom didn't trouble himself much
ia explaining the difference between
a theatrical show aud a circus show,
but told the story of the cards, etc..
about the boat, rendering the old fel
low quite an object of interest to the
passengers. Next to the card-plays
ing, tha object of anxiety to the
hoosier was a very large and singu
larly shaped nice box, which lay in
the "Social Hall," containing noth-
ing more nor less than a big fiddle,
and which was owned by a very re
served and gloomy-looking fjerman,
on his way South, professionally.
" Plass," aid the hoosier he was
thrice familiar with Tom, after learn
ing that he belonged to a show
" what on airth hev they got in that
box It's the onhnmanist shape I
ever see in all creation!"
" Hush," said Tom, mysteriously;
" don't you know1?''
" No! I'm nighly dead a gu'essin'!"
Bodies!" whispered the come
dian, with a Strong expression of
" Bodies!" echoed the startled in
quirer; "not ra'al human bodies!"
" Bodies!" repeated Tom, at the
same time applying his handkerchief
to his nose; " taking them down for
dissection; belong to a doctor On
The hoosier tuVned away, opening
his eyes and shutting his nose. At
length, he inquired if they were
" Niggers."
" White woman and two Children,"
was the reply ; " one on each Side of
her accounts for the shape of the
At this moment tho haggard, un
shaven violinist approached, and the
thoroughly " sawed" victim made
way for him, as if he had been the
cholera incarnate!
" Goes about diggin' on 'em up,
does he?" said he, between his teeth,
aud in a suppressed voice: " Why
t'll breed pison!" and out he went,
on the "guard"' to take a long
Tom told this joke, also, amon?;
the passengers, who carried it on,
highly amused; making wide circuits
whenever they had to approach the
box, using their handkerchiefs, and
expressing much indignation at the
captain for permitting that descrip
tion of freight to be brought under
the hoses of his passengers. Some
talked of leaving the boat, and others
of lynching the doctor, till at length
the captain, who had also been put
np to the fun, approached the crowd,
then gi the red about the bar.
" Phew!" sniffed the captain, " it .
very warm here, gentlemen; phew!"
and he pulled out his handkerchief.
" Gentlemen, isn't there something
unpleasant about here!"
" Pretends not to know what itisP'
muttered the hoosier aside.
" Barkeeper," continued the cap
tain, " what the deuce is it phew
so queer here!"
" Reckon you don't know?" ex
claimed the hoosier, stepping forward,
and almost quivering with indigna
" Know! certainly not," said the
" Wall, you've got that box too
near the stove, that's all!"
A perfect scream of laughter rath
er stomped the old fellow; but a re
moval of " the lid of the coffin" was
necessary before he could be con
vinced that the body, indeed, was
only that of " Old Rosin the0Bow."
He paid ' the liqnors" willingly,
" cussin" his old cat for not remem
bering that " Plass" was one of the
" show-folk varmints!"
Very Dry Joke Iu Easton, Pa.,
lately just as a performance in the
public hall was about to end, two wags o
put themselves in front ofthe door
with an umbrella and waited for the
oatcoming crowd. It was not rain
ing at all, but when tha first persons
of the audience had reached the door
and seen the warning umbrella, scores
of hands were thrust out, coats were
buttoned closely, and dresses taken
up, while quite a number remained
in the hall, refusing to come out
on account of the rgm. The"seL"
was complete.
A good story is told of camp
meeting John Allen: At a social gath
ering of ministers of different church
es, a Baptist brother made a display
of objections to the Methodist pol
icy because, as he said, "there was
too much machinery to it." "Yes,
responded brother Allen, "there is
a good deal of machinery, but it
don't take so much wster to run
it, as the Baptist dees "
Sarah Jenning?, wife of Marl,
borough, wrote to the Duke of Son
erest when he offered her ejnarriagei q
" If I were young and handsome as I
was, instead of old and faded as I
am, and you could Jay the empire of
the world at my feet, you should
never share tV.e heart and hard that
once belonged to JiShn, Duke of q
"What do you call this?7' said
Jones, lapping his breakfast With his
"Call it?" snarled the landlady,
'what doyott call it ?"
V.Weil, really," said Jones, reflect
ively, "I don't know. There is
hardly hair enough in it for mor
tar, but there is to much if intended
for hash."
A little girl was vtry fond of
preaching to her dolls. IIermother
heard her one day reproving one
for being so wicked. "Oh, you naugh
ty, sinful child," she said, shaking
the waxen limbs, "you will just go to
that lake of brimstone and molasses,
you won't burn up--you'll just siz
zlel'1 - lhe latest improvement ira
stock is a new breed of cats in Ye
mont, which have tails only an &iclt
long. The advantages claimed for
such are, that they caunot get under
a rocking chair or be stepped uponP
and that the door can be closed quick
er when they go out.
What can be a more desolate
spectacle than an old maid sitting on
an inverted half bushel, in a coldo
kitchen, with her feet on the brim of
a slop bucket, paring her corns with
a case knife, by the light of a tallow
candle? The ancients tell us that during
the sojournment In Paradise, heaven
sent down twelve baskets of talk,
and while Adam was cueing three of
them, Eve snatched up the other.
Connecticut is forming a cora
paay to manufacture a wood-sawing
machine and grindstone combined.
When the saw gets duli it is, sharp
ened on the grindstone.
o .
A damsel in Boston lately bor
rowed five hundred dollars, and gave-
herself as " collateral.' The note ha
one year to run. o o
-The Austrian Emperor's effort
to keep tho schools independent of
the Catholic clergy have made hint
. ,
Paul Weber, formerly a Phila
delphia painter, is now teacher o
drawing to the Princess Alice,
t i
, I
Two doors frora Alder, on First street, Fort
V 1 nd, is now open.
i o
f I