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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (March 25, 1899)
Eugene City Guard. I. I. CAMFHRLL, Presirlessr. KUttENK CITY OREOON A wrltir In tbe Tall llill Oasette txlee lo prove Pilate was a Bcotctimau. Hoot, won! A min'a Idea of economising la to auk bis wife bow much she ran man age to save on family expenses. The man who n-t himself on Ore wlille lighting hla pipe aud burned to death la another horrible example of bow the uae of tobacco ikOftMM life. - The only overflowing Htate treusury In the Union la that of New Jersey, and the overflow there la from money paid by the truata for tha privilege of prey lug on other State. Two prlaonera, duly sentenced, bare petltloued for liberty on the ground Ibat Imprisonment doea not agree with them. There will le no hesitancy In granting to tbla plea the merit of uor It. ct A man who feared something might happen to hlui took the precaution to aw baptised In an Icy rlvtr, contracted tbe pneumonia, and died. Thla la dm f the most pronouuced cases of premo nition on record. Trolley cara are to run past the pyra mlda. Many other things could be done to Improve tbe pyramids, auch aa fitting them up with elevatora, electric lights snd reataurauta at about every alitb atory. Admlra tha pyramids aa wa may, tbe fact cannot be denied Ibat tbey are much behind tbe tlmea. Tbe gypsy moth problem In Maaea rhuaetta aeema to be another caae of the man who caught the hear by the tall. It la coating I'l),(l per year, with no perceptible sign of eradicating tbe peat. Aa long aa tbe State la doing the work tbe farmera refuae to go to the expense of doing It themselves, Aud the Htate la afraid to quit Millionaire Idler haa gone Into the milk hualuees lu Chicago. Once our fluauclol aristocracy apurned auy con tart with small trade, but now any thing that will bring lu money la lu style Iiouhtlcss we shall yet see mein tiers of our fiscal gentry laying up snug fortunes out of the soap grease, and old bottle Induatry. Hut after all It la a good American slgu when we see ua bobs who are not afraid of work. Statistics demonstrate the fact that during the last year our trade Increased wltb China, Japan aud Houth America In a ratio that Indicates the bcgluulng of the same commercial Invasion of those couutrlea that we haw made an accomplished fact In Kurope, and there would seem every Indication of the fact that the uext few yeara will find the Culled Htatea occupying tbe position held so long by Kuglaud aa the trade center of the world. w duly once lu a while, It aeema, do the people wake up to tbo fact that they are mastera aud uot aerfa. For much of the time tbey go along liowlng aud acraplng to their maglstratea ami thtJl luayors and their lloveruors ami their legislators and their office holding fel Iowa lu general. Kor practically all of the time tbey are under a aeiise of hopeless subserviency to the persons uot at all above their own ststus lu cltl aenshlp whom they have themselves clothed wltb ottlrlal authority. aj ,. a Precept and practice do not gn hnnd In hand alwaya and the Injunction to forgive the ponltcut alnuer Is some times forgotteu. An example to the contrary baa Iteen set by tbe congreg tlou of the tint llnptlst Church of Kastou, I'M The young pastor of the church confessed that be had aluned grievously and offend hla resignation. It MM voted uuunluioiisly not to accept the resignation. This la practical Chris tlaulty, sufficiently rare to be remark able. While the Legislatures of several Btates were leisurely debating hill making It a misdemeanor to deface by advertising or otherwise the Htate or Natloual flags, a French garrison expe rlcured the mordant of practical appll cation. A drunken soldier, having In sulted the French flag, was reported, and all the troops of Toulon were form ed In hollow square on the purude grouud. with the flag lu the middle Then the general called the luckless sol dler by name. He fell out of the tanks, marched to the flag, aaluted It, and tit tercd a falterlug apology. "It la well." waa the brief comment of the general, and even the t lilted Htatea, whose flag la defaced with audi Impunity by Ita own people, echoea "well." Mluueaota la the first Htate that has succeeded In .linking the rush of young men from the couutry to the big cities. Tbls result haa been brought about through the Influence of a Htate achool that la agricultural lu fact as well aa lu name. All Institution that can ao Impress Its work on students that an average of ninety five out of every hundred of them are willing to return lo farm life, and put Into prac tice tbe advanced methoda practically taught lu the achool, la deaervlug of high coimueudatlou. It la evident that the ..id of the Mluueaota school Ilea lu Its organisation and management, for there are many other luatltutlous In the couutry of a euppoecd like charac ter that cannot ahow auythlug near such results. There are now sixty five colleges of agriculture aud the me chanic arts lu tbe Culled Htatea thst have been endowed by Acts of Cou gross, and forty eight Htatea aud Terrl torlea received each $2.1.000 from tbe Federal Treaaury last year for the pro motion of practical agricultural and mechanical education Au examine Hon of tbe reporta of tbeee institutions leada to the belief that In uiauy lu stun. . such schools have been created as departments of exlatlng colleges more to aecure tbe govrruiueut appro prlatloii than to make practical farm ers and mechanics few features of Congressional work art more interesting than the private claims, of whlcb huudreda are present ad annually. Tbeee are tbe claim of Individual cltliena for aoin alleged debte of the government which . unuot, 1 t .... 1 1 ... I 1 1 1 il.i. ruiriilttr IVH V ' it) law, uv v 10 -. I .... ,u ' " - s p - - - . and so a special ad of Congress Is u essury If the Secretary of the Treusury la to pay them. Many uf the cluluu presented are fraudulent, while Otkfl are ao meritorious that were Cucle Ham an Individual be would blush with shame to allow them to remain for any length of time unset lied. Hut good ami bad alike are usually kept welting many yeara, for Congress acts slowly. Ofllllim these claims are so evenly balanced that It takes a long time for t.'ongress to make up Its mind w hether tbey ehould be peld or not. The Inter eating case of John Veeley, which has Just Im-cii settled In his favor, Is one of long ataudlng. lu 1WJM, ne u curn-nter employed by the UwlaVUIa und Nash ville Kallroad. he found live one BBS dred dollar bllle lu tbe end of an old bog car which he hud been repairing Tbe bills were badly torn, and hud lccu used by the rats lu building a nest. Veeley made no secret of bow he came. Into possession of this money, aud up piled lo the government to rst-hangn tbeee bllle for new ones. This was re fused. He then sold the hill to broker for three hundred dollare, who aeut them to Washington again, and ked for au opinion of the Coiuptrolbi , )akaxaa I $ JlMMIE ARD JiRG. TBOM were their name Jltnmy and Jane. Everybody In tbe Til lage knew them; they bad many fi ends: yet all agreed with wonderful hater of women and aeldom spoke to one. Jane or more properly Mine Jane of tbe Treaaury, who decided that the Green was called an old maid. Ilred In VaVtaVtVYtVta orous pull, which Jane resisted wltn all her waning powers, and ucceeded In lifting her Into tbe boat. ..jo. .!..! .i... ....... ...,t "And to . y i . , ...... . r H I unanimity that they were two of the think that I ehould owe my lire to strangest Individuals ever seen. Jimmy Bradford," and then, too much Jimmy-his full name was JaTnea exhausted to bear up any longer, abe Bradford was a bachelor of about 50 j closed her eyes and fainted away, eaasa. reseated to have a Hocking full "Wuss and wuss!" cried Jimmy. "Did est v,.id and silver colus. which he kept ; ever a man her euch luck? In Ills feather lied. He was a noted What In the world am I goln' to do with a faint- In' half-drowned woman. I'd like to know? I've half a mind to leave her here In tbe boat an' start for borne." He drew the boat up on the sloping government bad a right to keep the j tiny house by herself, and had a holy shore and after carrying Miss Jane to bill without paying for them. The horror of the biped man. Her age was a sheltered apot beneath n widespread- pro I il I'J i,o,iw broker came buck to Vet-ley for the three buudred dollurs. As the poor mau bed p. ut tbe money, he hud great dif ficulty lu getting the emu togetlu-i again, end wee only able to pay It lu lu Bteluiente. A committee of Congress recently Investigated the case aud de cided that aa Veeley waa tho born-si Under of the notes, which were payable to bearer, and no one else lu the thirty yeara hail come forwurd to claim them, be ahould be compensated. According ly, a bill allowed hlui live hundred dol lare has been passed, and after long lc- uncertaln," but her 4)th birthday was of the punt. Jimmy took life easily, but waa op posed to ostentation and the modern acceptance of the term "luxury." He dressed without regard to fnab lon, but within the bounde of reaped ability. He even rode out In hie own carriage, but It was by no' mean a modern vehicle; It had done ecrvlee, be would proudly tell you, alnce his grand father daya. quite a century ago. He cared little for hooka; society he abominated, because It waa spoiled by lay. he le once more In possession of the admitting women, and of the few dl cash In this case a patient waiter haa versions that went to make up the sum bit of his lift- a pleasures, nsulug neiu tne place of prominence. loat nothing but tbe Interest on money. We Amerlcune demand our laugh at Even In Die pursuit of thla gratifica tion Jimmy was uot free from harass the expeuee of everything new or old nient, for he was obliged to pass by the door of a cottage occupied by a woman In order to reach the river. The woman was no other than Jane. One bright afternoon In September Jimmy was lounging ulong the river bank when the splash of oars In mid stream fell upon his curs. He looked lu the direction of the sounds, and then a scowl wrinkled his forehead. "Humph!" he muttered, "that old maid June (ireen Is trying to row over to Ned BfOWn', Hhe'd better Is! borne drinking tea. Most likely ahe'll man age to get drowned. What a fuse abe makes, splanbln' an' flapplu' alsiut." He pulletl up his Hue with nn angry Jerk, put a fresh worm on the book and then cast out the Hue again, with an outlay of strength quite unuo.os aary, uuIchs to give vent to hie ludlg nation. The "splashln' an' flapplu' nlsiiit," in tend of dying away lu the distance ns the boat reached the other side of the river, grew louder and more dlsturti lug. and, half In wonder, half auger, Jluiniy looked around again. lu.it the luck!" he cried. "If alio that we are railed upou to consider; but In the end we measure conacleutlouely and curefully; ntul what at llrat look aeems elmost reckless Jocundity turn out to lie but a blithe temper working Joyously at a aerlotia tusk. This le the opinion expreased by nn editorial writer lu the Haturday Kvenlug Post. It tuny la- that our wonderful national growth owes much to mere light heart ednesa maintained under the most dull cult and depressing clrcuiiiHtnuces We have whistled merrily und kept ii our courage through many a dark day uot for the sake of the whistling, but becauee It was not lu us to mope nnd whine. A eelise of liuuiur purities inn! freehene every mental state Into which It la projected, ao that under lis Influ ence one's view of adversities and per plexltlee borrows wholesome colors and one's Judgment harks buck to reck on with the original elements of huppl loss Optimism Is a badge, of youth health aud vigor We us a natlou bnvi shown the world now tu make a play of work; how to enjoy conquering a vast wilderness and nn abounding crude neee; how to grow great with a laugh on your llpe mid a Jest In every Int. ma tlou; how to . butt at si lence and yet slexe upon Its every secret for the nd i succulent of our purposes. Our laWll nation to laugh, to amuse ourselvei with crude yet telling humor, lu ih. ml. 1st of epic changes ami powerfully stimulating rcailjiiatmeiite lu the world's attitude toward ua, Is not oec essarlly of the same nature as the In stliictlve gamlsils and groteaquerlea of a well fed and healthy young animal, as some critics hate thought, for, a I though our diplomatic methods have recently passed under the fiery teat of Kuropean experience, there liaa been no failure lu comprehensiveness, flrmueas and efficacy. We see (be Hues of carles tore and traveety In everything; but behind all our llghtucea the alert buel neee faculty stands ready. The clear sighted student of history set's that we are. In the main, developing aa Knglnud developed, but luconipariilily faater. Our Jocund youth la similar to what tbe mother country's was, but more clean aud of firmer moral tone, as any render may gather from Chaucer, Hpeuser, Jonsou and Hhnkapcarc, w bo reflected F.ugland's uiorulug freshness. Perhaps the very rapidity of our progress, the exceeding stress of our Inner and out ward development, and Hie surprises of our practical Inventions have occasion ally shocked ua Into undue hilarity and at times we may guffaw In tbe face of august and solemn presences, yet we tan point to the record. History la do ing more than merely repenting Itself lu our ewlft dash to the fore; It I adding a new meaning to Creek Joyous tiess and Itomaii atrengtli. The Incre ment apeaks for more than the addition of what may Ih called ualuial accumu lation of eXHrlcueea, It Is racial, and baa been enlarged and enriched by tbo forces of freedom and a true concep tion of civilisation. From the first we have choeeu to Ik- happy, and so we are sometimes almost Jovial, but we are mightily lu earneat. An Index of Civilisation. there la no question that diet has much to do with civilisation. If life was rude and violent lu early ton muulllea, the kind of food eaten and the way of eating It made It even more so. How coin. I one gorge ,n ox roasted whole, carving It up with rude vveap oils, or even like PnUtaff, on fat capons aud an Intolerable deal of sack, wltb out Ulng heavy, earthy, slid juohaldv from our point or view, notey aud HI bred? The flue manners of tbe Ktlaa hcthan court are problematical; they rvrtaluly would uot iass muster now. Food Is both au Index of the civilisa tion attained and a factor 'u the attain ment. A singular Instance of both Is sfforded by the rapid growth of man nets In Itussls. Lees then two centu rica sgo IVter the Ureal gnawed meat Ing willow tree her to consciousness. When she open ed her eyea the first thing that met ber gaze was Jimmy's face. "Ob, my soul!" ahe gasped, feebly. "Am I In the power of the Evil One?" "Draw It a little mild, Jam- Green. I ain't the Evil One, nor no kin to him, "AN' SIT TIIK H'll TOWM TO TALBOT, SAID JANB. aa I kuowa on. An' you're ahowin' mighty little appreciation for bavin' your life saved, 1 can tell ye." "W all, aald Jane, after a moment's thought, "pcrhape I waa a little too harsh. I s'pose there are wuss belu's on the face of thla alrth than you be. I reckon you'd set all the touguce o' scandal waggln' against me." "You're too plucky a woman to feed fishes uu, nu' too good-looking, too." Jane's pale face changed In a mo ment to a deep carnation hue, and her tone might have Indicated either real or pretended reproach aa ahe replied: "Hume on ye, Jlmnile Bradford, to make fun of a mlsfortunate an' de fenseless woman. I'll go home thla minute." Hhe aroae, trembling nnd weak, and attempted to walk away, but stuggercd ain't gone and rowed right smack Inter "d was ..bilged to grasp a branch of a that eddy the only one within two tree for support. miles at.lliat If Hint a n t Jest like u fool woifiau I'd like tu know what 'tis like." Just then his attention was attract, d to Ills line, and Jane's peril was for a moment forgotten. A forcible reminder came In the form of a loud, piercing scream, followed by a frightened aps-al for help. "There, Jest us might ha' been ex pected! The first bite I've had for an hour, and that miserable woman had to let out a scrcuiu uu' scare the fish away." "Help! Help! I shall drown!" creamed the woman. There wns no question alsiut It. Miss Jane was lu great peril. Her boat, nu Old leaky shell was twirling about, tbe rapid, rotnry motion causing at fre quent Intervals foamy waves to splash over Us sides, and It bade fair to sink In short order. "Let her drown!" growled the worn an hater, savagely. 'There'll Ik- one less woman gosh! she w ill go down ua lire as fate. Belli' a sort of human critter, 1 s'pose I'll hev' to pull her out. er the neighbors 'II lynch me." Ills owu boat happened to bo near at hand, and a few rapid strokes brought hlui us near the eddy as safety per nilttcd. "Here!" he cried, grumbling, as he threw out a rope, "ketch hold of thut. If yon don't want to drown." Miss June had DMA so occupied with her fears and struggles that up to this tu sri.tsii or oaks 1 1 i i i ros ins a a as. moment she was unaware that assist MM, had arrived. At the auuud of bis voice she tin mil quickly. "Merciful heavens! Jimmy Bradford, of all men! leuime drown! ' "DmI be a t artist Ion fool, Jane QftJMl Ketch hold of that rope an' I'll pull you out." "You're too weak to go home now, Jane," aald Jimmy, approaching. "You'd belter stop a while longer." "Ho you could make more fuu of me. I s'Mse," snld she tartly. "No, thank you, Mr. Bradford." "I didn't say more'n I meant, Jane Green, uor more'n I'd say another time. I never knew In-fore that women had so much gumption. But If you're bound to go, I'll give you a boost, for you couldn't get there alone. Here, take my nrm." "An' set the bull town to talklu'," cried Jane. " Ttint beat that they talk," re torted Jimmy. "The first one that says a word ag'lnst you will feel thut," ex hibiting a hard ami formidable fist. After considerable persuasion, June wus nt last Induced to take his nrm, and off they walked, a most singular looking couple. "Now lie careful an' sec (hat you dou't take cold after yer dueklu'," said Jimmy, as they reached the woman's home. "Y'ou'd better make you some hot ginger tens-at once. Au' If you'll agree to It I'll drop lu to morrow an' see how you are." June agreed to It coyly, ami Jimmy turned away, with new and sirnnge feelings lingering In his breast. "Blest If ahe ain't n plucky one," he said to himself. "1 never seen a woman In-fore that hail any sense. She'd make a good wife for a feller that liked women folks." But a month later found her the wife of n mini who did uot like women folks, and that contented Individual waa no other than Jimmy Bradford. Why the Trick Failed. A conjurer waa exhibiting In Nash ville, ami prepared In the usual way for the well kuown trick of passing a marked coin luto tbe center of un uuout orange. He found an Intelligent urchin, and promised to pass hlui luto the show provided he agreed to come on the stage at a given signal. Of course the urchin assented. The boy was provid ed with s marked dollar, and when the curtain rose he wus In the frout row. Tin- professor pnHveded to borrow a dollar In the audience, marked It almll arly to the one lu tbe urchin's pocket, aud, after some flourishes, passed It luto the orange, from w bleb he extract ed It. "Now," he said. "I'm going to ask Mine BMnbat of the audience to step on the stage, aud then I'll pass the dol lar luto his pocket without going near him." The youngster stepped up; the con jurer made the usual flourishes. "Now, in v Ihiv." he said, "nut vour hand In Srour right hand trousers pocket aud give me the dollar." The boy looked sheepish, but he dlve-1 his fist down. Then, to the horror of Herts, he produced a handful of ellver aud said. "I've ouly got ninety eenta of It left, sir." Haturday Kvenlug mt. Never!" cried Jane, spurting out a like a wild In ast snd drank brandy stream of water from her mouth, and like sssv age To day the elegant met h paddling desperately with both hands od of dining "a la Itusse," Is admired to keep afloat. over tbe civilised world. "Then I'll pull ye out. anyhow!"' ejao- ; nlated Jimmy. "I never knew any He American MBMMhHi ,- mmmm had such grit. You're too Great Britain evidently appreciate lhll.kv f-r fl,h ti ru ur ye tbe excelleuee of American machinery, svhether or no." A number of tbe gnat engine called j ivs,,i,e Jane's gurgled protests, be Moguls are SOOU to be Used oil Kngllsa. kurrledlv hauled In th. mn- formed . sllpnoose st oue and. snd hurled It over stage conditions of seven sbots each at to tbe half drowned woman's shoulder. 200. Ms) and doo yard, in a recent tvgi jTbco be exerted his ttrvufth ta a v!f ! mental competition. A Wonderral Shootta-. Sere-ant XlMllhem-SL of tl... l'tll Q -"s s... .. L-s-o- I ice Volunteer lllflee, has made a world's record of lu all bull's eyea, shooting from tbe kaee. under tbe Queen's first LAW AS INTERPRETED. An exception as to "change of occu pant without Increase of baxard" In an Insurance policy prohibiting change of Interest, title tfr possession. Is held. In Herman Bros.. L. Co. T. hnti Bro.. iTenn.), 41 h. K. A. 700. to be ap plicable to personsl as well as to real property. The presumption against suicide Is held Id Johns vs. Northwestern Mutual Belief Association (Wis), 41 L. II. A. 5K7, Insufficient to sustsln a cause of action for accident Insurance, Vlsttl the Insured went to bed as usual, was found next morning lu an underground cistern back of the bouse, with under clothes, pants and stockings on, but no coat, and the opening to the cistern was 15 by 90 Inches. The Implied duty of the owner to use reasonable care In Inspecting aud re pairing a grate In a sidewalk In front of hla premises la held. In Canundalgiiu v. Foster (N. Y.), 41 I-. It. A. 551, to continue, notwithstanding his lease of a part of tbe structure on the abutting land and Its occupation by a tenant, ill though the tenant has, by Implication, the exclualve right to uae tbe grate. The burden of proving an alibi la held In State vs. Thornton t8. I.). 41 L It. A. 080, to be upou the defendant-at least to the extent of raising a reasonable doubt of gullt-ofter the Htute l.aa mutle a prima facie case. The great contrariety of opinion on thla subject Is shown In a note to tbls caae. In which the different rules are clearly denned nd tbe authorities of the different Jurisdictions anulyxed with reference to them. Tbe loss of the services of a minor child killed by the fault of another Is held, In Gulf, C. k 8. V. Co. ts. Beall (Texas), 41 L It. A. 807, to give tbe parents no common law right of action against the party In fault. There baa been a difference of authorities on this question, the preponderance of which supports the present decision, but the cases which reach this conclusion do so on different grounds, aa appears from the note to tbls case. A HUSBAND'S TASTE. LET US ALL LAUGH. old I, -I tlOKES FROM THE PENS VARIOUS HUMORISTS. OF ParrlxLT Conductor fhastlly) Ho child? Young Mother (lndluntlir- look old enough to have a child i enough to pay fare? rieeaaat Incidents Uceorrlng the World Over-Bexlniia that Are Cneer fal to Old or Ynaag - Vunnr electlone thst Yob Will KoJoJ. Mr Newlywed Here's your w I. my d-r. It cost SS to have her fixed. Mrs. Newlywed Why do you speak Of bicycles aa feminine? Mr. Newlywwl Because, my dear, th. ) re like women. Inasmuch as you never realise bow expensive they are until you've got them - Judge. Not an Ant . cholar. "But can't you learn to love me? per sisted the wrong man. She shook her heud gently. "I've learned u good many difficult things." she replied, "but tbey have alwuys been things that I wanted to leuru." At the Phrenologist's. About the greatest drawback aaaa's bapplne I blmsolf. No Wife Compronslsee Her Individual ity la Matters of Dreee. Mary It. Baldwin rclatce this sug gestive little Incident In the Woman's Home Companion "'Oh, my dear, where did you get that monstrosity ?' whlapcred a man to the little woman by his side as he clung to a strap, nnd she to hlui, as they rode borne together In a street-car. "Tha effect certainly was ridlculous the wee. face with Ita timid expression under one of the largest of the uew styles of hats with Its flaunt v feathers and obtrusive trimmings. The tears started to the eyes of the overtopped little creature; then she recovered her self, aud insisted thut It was Just the thing the very latest of the fashions. It Is not beneath the thought of the most Intellectual woman, nor does It compromise iersonnl Independence and taste to consult the preference of a husband In the choice of modes and articles of dress. "There are husbands so constituted, no doubt, Hint It Is gratifying to their pride and sense of authority to receive H-rfect dependence from the wife; but the reliance of nn efficient woman w ho Is able to think and act for herself Is thoroughly appreciated by a broad minded, generous soulcd husband. If hla wife bus a rcflucd true taste be feels honored when she lays before him her plana for the house furnishing, or the gowning of herself, und after the purchase, ns he regards effects, he , takes pride lu the thought of having had a voice In the choosing." -This lwy will never die In prison." "Thank you kindly, sir." "No; he's got the bump of longevity nd will serve out bis time. "-Ally 8loier. ( l...r Observer. It Is the snaacloiis remark of a keen observer of tourists, aud he offers It to the traveling nubile, that you can eenerallv tell a uewlv married couple t the dinner table by the Indignation f the husband whuu a fly alights on the wife's butter. Lias His Kather. "My son," snld a father to a 7 year Old hopeful. "1 must discipline you Your teacher says you ure the worst boy lu the school." "Well, papa," was the reply, "only yesterday she told me I was like my father." Natural History IIIhllcht. Teacher- Miss Htreet, can you tell me what Is most peculiar In tbe batching of the cuckoo? Miss Street (doubtfully) It generally builds Its nest In a clock. Marked Attention. ' III attentions to you have marked, have they not?" .a:, ,l young woman's experienced friend. ' 'Ob, yea. lie haa never taken price oaT any of bis presents." Hut He Loved Oreen Apple, "Did you ever fee! the panics . love?" asked the maldeu lady nalve, V.. " i .. on I... t I In. u u e u .... I. . . ..... nu - " , 1 1 ii Ui.,ur but I had un abiding love fur green apple when u small boy." Foasetblnn Hot. Kestnurant Guest Everything j0 ave brought me la atone cold. I'olite Walter Here Is the mus..-.i "i y aud pepper, lr. Ilehlnd tbe Kcenea. led you have a good run In Albany old man?" No. but we bad a lovely walk back.' -Life. Cruel Quarrel. Prlscllla-VVbat are young Wlnthroo and bis wife quarreling about so bit. terry? Penelope Oh, about which of ihea loves tbe other most. HOMES IN MANILA. OF Kam's How People Live In t'nele Aciiulred Territory. The bettor house In Manila differ In some ways from any other In the world. Always of two stories, there Is a high stone basemeut, with a car riage way to the court, when- are the servants' quarters and domestic offices. The upper story Is of wood, being com plete In Itself, so that lu case of an eiirthquake It will settle together. The I ceilings are covered with cloth Instead of plaster. A wide stairway leads up I from the carriage way. Between three und four feet above the floor of this story Is a wide window ledge with grooves runulng the whole leugth of every side. In these grooves slide bllndl and also frames In which art set small squares of oyster shell icalled "conchas"!. Both blinds and conchas ran the full length of each side. Either Ot both can be closet! at the same time, and tsith can lie slid buck to the width of one at each end, leuvlng the whole side op.-n. and allowing tbe air to clr dilate as freely as In a shed. The roofs were formerly made of heavy curved tiles. Now galvanlxed Iron Is used, aa It vastly decreases the chance of tho roof fulling during an earth quake, and lessens the damage If It ' does. On the other hand the Iron roof la much more likely to be blown off by tb terrible typhoons. The uatlve houses are built of bamboo, with , thatched roofs made of the loaf of the ulpa palm and elevated from six to teu feet on bamboo poles. Feminine Pleasantry. Mrs. Hasklns Is that Mrs. Uoley's busbaud with her? Mrs. Kodley- Certainly not! Cau' jou see that man la trying to keep In step with her? Method In Her Madness. "Why Is It," they asked, "that you let your busbuud have his own way In everything T' "Because," she replied, "I like to knvc some oue to blame when thluga go wrong. Drntlat by Profession. Tramp failed ter see, lady, If I Could do sum work for ye. Kind lady -What cnu you do? Tramp I'm a sort of dentist, mum. I'll put a set of teeth Into u good pie for notblug. The ".polls of I Hi. r. Mr. Smith Well. Murlu, I've got my appointment at lust. I'm to tie post master. His Wife-Won't that lie nice? Now we can get our postage stamps at wholesale price. Judge. An Ocular Demonstration. Teacher Johnny, what Is six upside down? He Thought It Unfair. The Atlanta Constitution affirms that, as the representative of a tieorgla county was leaving home to assume his honorable duties, one of his aged colored constituents said to him: "Marse Ben. you gwlne ter de Legls latur?" "Yes; that's where I'm bound." "En you gwlne ter make laws?" "That's what they tell me." "Er. how much will you git a day fer dat?" "Four dollars." "My l-awd!" exclaimed the astonish ed old iffan. "Hn des ter think all I gets Is forty cents a day fer plowin', en ouly meat eu bread fer plckln' cotton:-' Pigmy I nor. In Africa. A traveler who has lately passed through the country of the pygmies. In the great foreets of equatorial Afri ca, says that be measured many of the little people and found none over four feet In height. Tbey are strong, how ever, and fairly Intelligent, he tblnka New York' List of Senators. New York baa bad fifty five United State Senators In 110 years. Johnny Walt, ma'am, till 1 bjo,. New Y'ork News. As to Generals. "rpa, are generals brave men?" ask ed Johnny of his father. "Yea. my eon, as a rule," was the an wer. "Then why do artists always make plcturea of em stundlug on a hill three miles away, looking at the battle through an opera glass?" What'a the Uood of itt "Some couutrlea pension their liter ary men and women." "Hoes that make them stop writing?" "No." "Then what's the good of It?" Political Kconomy. "Oh! she's so adroit In managing She makes tbe most of everything" ' "Yes.' "Ye; 1 believe If there were skele ton In her closet she d use It for cloak treteherr-Puck. Oon I I in le. "That missionary," tbe head Jailer reported, "has gone daft." "He will atlll do," replied the Klog of Mbwpka. for a simple repast." Mystery Holved. Suitor Y'our daughter I the light of my existence. Enther-l'vo often wondered bo you could set- ber wltb tbe gus .urue4 so low. No Materalty Ones. I'rlncloal (of kindergarten scboolt- Have you bad any experience win young children? Applicant for Teacher I ve ralei ten of them myself. What: A mother! You wouldu'tilg at all! You would upset all our Ideur Life. Not a Poor Bale. Idealist- True happiness Is found Id pursuing something, not In catching ll Ordltiury Man The man who pur sues the last car at night knows belter. - Boston Traveler. OB the Solar Plea US. She Did you know that I im 10 actress now? "Why, no. All I beard wa tbil von had gone on tbe stage." Tragedy at Hen. Soldler-What wer your CaptHn'i last words? sailor He didn't nave auy. Ills wilt was on board. I II per It nous LaW. "This copyright law la all boab," said the exuberant young writer. "Just a scheme to make money." "I thought It an excellent law." "Bah, It's a fraud. I never copyright my stories, and no one steal them." Detroit Free Press. When suy statement Is made, there I always someone to dispute IL Meanlasileas. ssa, Mrs. style-What do you think of mv new bonnet. John? Isn't It a perttvl I Her Husband-It must be a magi 1 Jlne tmm. then. I cn't make be.d or mil Of It. Judge Tlaaely Kcaslnder. The other day, a two friend were tulklng together lu tbe atreet, donki-r begun to bray aud wheexe aud cough lu u lllalr Jlna manner. "N hat a cold thut donkey has," aald one of the men, "Aud. by the way, that put me lu mind - how la your cough ?" Chance of Program. "Hurry to tbe door, Mary, and lei Mr. Y'absley In. He haa rung twice." "That Isn't Mr. Yabsley; It la the other young gentleman." "Well, wait a minute, then. I muil change these photographs ou the niuu telplece." No Co so m on Clay. " Thirsty Traveler (whose carriage ll at the gatc)Can I have a drink at your well? Farmer's Wife Why, of couna ma'am. Walt a moment, and I'll briif you a glass. Thirsty Traveler Thank, no. I al ways carry a cup. One doesn't want to drink out of something that everybody else uses, you know. Hie. .liter Heart. "It's Just like a woman." "What lr "To buy something on her own ac cunt and theu have It charged to her husband's." Bad Enough Already. She (bitterly) When you married m, you didn't marry a cook! He Well, you needn't rub It In!-Puck. His Penitence Limited. Deacon Borden- Say, wife, I've cow to you ou a matter of conscience tbla mornln. Mrs. Borden You hev been ptimptt' water In the breakfuat milk, hev you! Deacon Borden Ya-as, wife. An' I allowed you might aak the blesslu' this uiurulu' In my stead. Judge. Th Real Cauae. "lan't It difficult, Mr. Jones, to P along with a girl that use auch brokeu Engllah?" "Oh, I don't mind that so much. W her broken china that makes me wild. The Palace of Versailles. Tbe French Government Intends te spend sixty thousand dollar In f WW lug up the Palace of Versailles sui flclently to make It presentable for th great exhibition of next year. I" Philippe, who dedicated It "To all t" glorlea of France," spent more than twt and one half million upou rratocnvj this gorgeous palace to what It was be fore the revolution, and nearly as nnifl upon providing picture nd furniture Lot at First Bight. Friend-So your wa a case of at tlrst sight? Mrs. tietthere-Ye. Indeed. I desperately In love with my nusi---the moment I et eye upon Una. j J member It a distinctly as If It 'erl vesterdav I waa walking: with I! when suddenly papa stopped and, is)'"'' Ing him out, aald. "There, my dear. man worth $10,000 a year." ldentlflcattoa Mrrks. 'Are there any mark by whlcn n lu Irlontlflwt T" aaked the lsillce su perintendent, preparatory to telegraph Ing. w "No." aald the father of the boy had run away from home to IgM ' dlana. "but there wUl be when " bold of him gala."