Eggene City Guard.
I. I a m i 11 r i i rr.rrlitor.
KUOKNE CITY.
ORKUON
The I'nlted Htntea I o big that she
ranno afford to act small or feel binall.
Katnl nrlz. fluhts continue to enable
the undertaker to atiow bla skill ua a
boxer.
Ilcturcaoiio language might Jimtlfjr
the remark Hint the power lire tearing
Uhlnu In pieces Joint from Joint.
War cloud never take on their hlnck
est character till they are nddwl to by
the Miioku of burning gunpowder.
That big territorial imrtltlon In China
is vastly diffident from what la known
M the (.rent Divide In thla country.
In view of the fact that cashiers are
breaking banks o niildly. It would bo
a Kd Idea to tuako thu prisons
stronger.
An Ohio law forbid tho mnrrlnge of
Ihsnno person. Those who aro "madly
In love" will have, to get married out
aldu of the Ntate.
A Connecticut gardener clnlma to
have perfected an odorless onion That
fellow should try to luvvnt a nolsolc
firecracker now.
Pcrhupa It can Xm taken aa nn cvl
deuce of nut: Npuhlsh filling that
many people are not amoklug genuine
II. n aim clgara.
eotntrdcnce that tlov. Tyler signed the
bill on I.lncoln'a birthday Feb. 12
and the company wax organized to car
ry It Into effect on Washington's birth
day Pe-b. 22. The head of the own
patty la Ocn. Horatio 0, King of S'.w
Vork and the vice president la Col. W.
II. Taylor, who wax Lee's adjutant gen
eral. The grounds are to Is- marked so
aa to ahow the ixmttlon of each corps,
dlvlalon, brigade and regiment at ev. ry
stage of the battlea fought iiK)ii them,
while the spots where leading officer
Were killed will Is- designated by ap
propriate rnoiinmciits. The great but
tlellelds of the war are now nearly all
of them parks, open to visitors, and
some of them, like that at li.-ttysbiirg.
aro cajaflnlly attractive.
A later naval notion la an alrahlp
carrying dynamite munltlona. Its use
only proposes to drop the torpedo ua a
nuvul resource one way.
Itost.m women Inalst on wearing high
Tints In tin- thc-nt.TH. Mining, ly enough
the men who ure "behind tho women"
aro opposed to this aelivmo.
Mrs. ItoLcrt l.oiil Htevenson says she
sees no retiHon why a woman may not
amokc cigarettes. Hhe can llnd women
Who will not r.-ruse to hack 'er.
The Ohio Legislature has refused to
pnss the I n rk.-r bill restricting mar
rlage. Tim Legislature, been tine It wna
In favor of a tie, refused U iiv on thla
measure.
The stranger who climbed an electric
light pah) 111 the buslm-Ms district the
other night and MflalMd to a poMpa
man Ihut he "wus going up to heuvoti"
pTonniy was ulso light at the upper
i mi.
A London letter says that Iludynrd
Kipling soundly spanks his son when
over the lsy tells n bnd atory. The
youngster csenpex pretty lightly; sup
pose he were spanked every time hi
fulher tells such a story.
The t'Hy IH. r.i coroner" Jury
fl I lhal Postmaster Maker came to
Ills death lit Hie hands of parties III!
known to the Jury. That Jury might to
take n duy off and get U tter acquaint
ed with thu leading clllxciia of the
town.
It la reported that when a freight
train was derailed on the llurllngtoti
Mud, one car. loaded with eggs, rolltxl
completely over, and landed In a ditch
without hreaklng a elngle egg. Till
reads like a "wild and wisdly" story,
but It may well call attention to the ex
traordinary carefulness with which
eggs are now handled and packed for
traiisKirtallon.
Agriculture hn la-en called "reck
leu gambling on the weather." Cer
tainly this characterisation H deservisl
when men umikllhs in the llrst prlu
clples of tilling the soil lietake them
selves to unfamiliar climates and ex
perlmeut. Yet, aa all wealth la tl.o
frtlltof the soil and all Industry Is has
xl upon the results of the M,r of hu
bandmen, the clement of cham may
Is- considered u a small factor In the
problem. The man who conducts the
business of fanning with the same en
ergy and skill as the successful mar.
chant or nrofsaeloiial man will reap thi
amin- measure of reward. The time
hn passed (If It ever exlsledi when
fortunes were made by unskilled own
er of amnll farms In Florida or Call
fornla. Today such I holding means
in general the raising ()f only one class
of product, and that peculiarly liable
10 iH-rtsii tiy nlmospherlc changes, in
the middle Welsern Slates farming 1
recognlxed as a well regulutel business,
carried on under known condli Ions of
Production ami n recognition of perma
nent market demands, diversified ng
rteiillure In the teiniM-rate climate kaa
passed entirely out of II gperlmentul,
ss-i limine stage ami be come a norma
ueiilly productive Indualry.
THC QUEEN'S ISLAND.
When Briton' lona flrit came aabore
To ttl on their laland gray,
Each una cam Ibiided with a acore
Of things h needed every day.
Each brought a trap, to catch Joke with
a WHHII to nuiuie lliriu.
Thay fetched om "atuae," to weigh
folk with,
And "guinea" to confuse them.
And every man, of this brave hand,
L'cn 1 ) I : MIm u I . . . ii I,,, uti.a.ii I...
Showed proudly, ax he stepped on laud,
A copy or "Burke's Peerage."
He brought a Isiok of "precedent,"
To shape each thought and uctlou,
And laatly, a full complement
Of culm self tatiafuctlon.
And when the Ilrlton looked aroui.d,
Kor the last time to change things.
The month were "quite bud form,"
found,
"Kgad! We'll re-arrange thlnga."
"Ool Flippant April, gaudy May, .
Juue, August and July, too,
Your trivial continental way
We fain would suy goisl-bye to."
September smiled, but fured a ill,
Octola-r did no Is-tter
Then came November, dull and chill,
Hhe suited to the letter.
'Hie banished month are seen no more,
I don t know where they went to,
May hap they sought Columbia's shore,
W here most outcasts nre snt to.
Hut this you'll find, to your dlsmny,
In Kiigliuid, If you stay, lr.
When March no longer doth hold wny,
November doth replace her I
-Pbiliatlne.
A TEMPORARY
POLICEMAN.
Mark Twain, following the noble ex
ample of Sir Waller Keolt, Inks devoted
nil his gains for several year to the
pay uieiit f what Ills creditors were dl
Iso.nl to regard as 'Mend claims." The
English papers are lavish In their up
pluuso as If this kind of honesty were
a rare virtue. Perhaps It la rule; but
then, more' the pity! Creditor should
forgive as they hope to lie forgiven;
but no debtor should let himself off
easllj, unless he Is willing to take the
risk of moral bankruptcy.
Year after .war comes news of lives
and property destroy,-,! by Hi,, rising of
our river. These Hoods an- as regular
aa spring Itself, , y,. houses and
factories are built along the river banks
tw cohlldchtly a though frmhets were
rare cutuclysui of nature, like earth
quake and eruption of rolcanoo.
Men are pro ei blallj Incapable of
prolltlng by the experiences of others
bin to prollt by their own Is not U'vond
their s.wer, mid It doc seem thnt.
When a high water mark has once been
MteblMMd, It ought to give it hint for
at h ast a year.
The nsple of tlio Pulled Ntatea are
Wealthy and have faith lu the govern
incut. Those two facta arc enow n In
the report of the comptroller of the
currency, which states that the Imll
vldual deposltM in t. national Iuiiiks
now aggregate more than 91,000,000
M0, bttug the largest amount ever r
OOnlad III the history of ihoH(, uMt.t.
Hon. This statement do(s not take In
to iicetiiitit the depoalta In State an. I
prlmie banks, nor the Immense stilus
Immn to be held by sailngs lmuk.
When these are ad. I, si the wealth of
the 1 tilt. si State Is si-en to Itv truly
enormous.
The best Hewn In regard to Alaska
Is that tin exploration of the territory
Us now batOI made by thrw exps.ll
tlons under the control of th,. I'nlt.sl
States (icologlcil Suney. Thla U fur
more to the punoso than the acrain
Mc all. i gold. The region west of the
Klondike, tlm Tauana Ulver basin and
the InttHor, reached by way of Cook
Inlet, will lH. examined, and urtny ur
- also win i. carried rorward. The
aclentlllc discoveries made and official I
i, awwiWN ill airert mucli of the
travel to the Klondike to our own mill.
A a matter or fact, we know little
deliultely alsiut the r,tourre of Ala
ka. The laliors of Um Ocologleal Sur
vey will U- of great value to the
pli'.
Knghmd has bun a ,,), of netanti
NkfDflB thnt, If carried out, w ill do mneh
to relieve the p, nal system of that (s,Uii
try of much severe criticism, lu few
clvlllxsl countries has the tr. -a Tiii, lit
of convicts han more dciiroNMlmr nnnn
the Individual prisoner than in Kn
gland. This has I n dm- not ho much
lo hard Usage, which has bM exceed
ing rure, n to tin- fact that the prN
r Ml considered as n machine nn
tier which "he ran the risk or is lng
brutnll.isl not, Ind I, by cruelty,
which was very rare, but by the mere
rorce or the routine system lo w hlcli he
must submit." Kvery prlaonw wnji
treal.sl In exactly the same way. The
new rules "are framed on tin- assnoo..
lion that criminal habits are, In many
cases, curable, and that In the treat
MM "f crime, as of other diseases. Iso
lation Is essential." The worst fault In
the old ayslein, the mingling together
"f age and youth of the novice In
crime ami the habitual criminal has
been wholly eliminated. Prisoners are,
III future, to Is- divided Into llir las
es llrst, those convicted of serious
crimes ami the habitual criminals sec
olid ,the llrst offenders, and. third, those
who are sentenced for terms of It's
than a year for minor erl IIIOM i.r inla.
(to mat Dora. This ciassim nn,,,.
Ilshes u middle course of treatment,
boot hair mg betwaao the old Kn-
gllsh system and the bizarre Ideas that
bAT been put lu txractlva at RlfkiiM
in we Mate or .New York. Pnder the
new n-glme In the ICngllsh irlson
some will be savisl from lapsing Into a
life or crime ami certainly the modlflet
tloim pTOpOaad will have a hiimanl.lng
effect BpOO thu less hiiKlciicd convicts
generally.
T:
In time or war, nations which mwi
lighting arc known us Is-lllireMnta
nations which are at pamca us neutrals.
t inter the law or DaUOQa, neutrals are
UOder Obligation to keep out of the war
" selves, ami not to render Improper
assistance to either side. What un
known as neutrality acts ln,M.se ien
allies of Hue or Imprisonment upon
cltlaeDI of any neutral country who en
lists lu foreign service, or lit out vo.x
sels ofwar, or organize inlltttirv expe
tllilons against M frlcmlly (wte, Lug
land has stringent neutrality ws. n,l
so i n as the Pulled Sinbss iovoriiiiient
ls fooeer I, N also Isuiml b whal -lie
caJled the Three Rulet of the Treaty of
Washington, under wlih h the Chtlmi
for damages for the losses Indicted by
the Alabama and other private,-! dur
ing UM civil war were submitted to
International arbitration. The tirst of
these rules ImpOMM ail obligation to use
due diligence In prev Ing the arming
equipment ami departure from an i.-,...'
UaO Mrt of any Vessel designed lo
cruise or curry on war against the Pnlt
ed Stales, l'mlcr the second rule. Bug
land stnnds pledged not to permit or
suffer either balllgerenl to make use of
her port! or waters "as the hue of
tetl operations against the other or
for the purswo of the renewal or nug
mentation or military supplies or arms
or the recruitment of n." Pnder the
third rule, due diligence Is enjoined for
ue prevention r any violation ,.r theae
aentraJ obligations. These rnka do not
rorbld a aeUtral nation to sell arms.
Other military supplies and cool to n
balllgerenl in time or war. itut the
vessels or either nntleo oouM tetar on
the high seas all such stores Intended
for (he country with which It wa at
war.
The battleUeld of Fredericksburg,
the Wilderness, ChuiieelloravtlU aud
8Ktlsyluiila, In Virginia, aro to be
com, i ted into a national purk.lhe Leg
Ulatureor Virginia having paaeed a bill
aulhorlalng the forma thin ui .
puny fur that purpoae. It la a alngular J
Artificial llcauty l.nws.
Pnrliig the reign of Clinrle II. In Kn
gland, laws with regard to artltlclai
aid to lcanty were very strict. It Is
interesting to note this curious act of
Parliament which was paxscd In the
year MM "i hnt all wotnen. ,f what
ever age, rank, profession or degree,
whether virgins, maids or widows, thnt
snail, uricr the passing of this act.
Intpeee upon and Mrav into uiatrf
mony any of his Majesty's male sub
Jaeth by acenl, pelnto, coainetlca,
washes, artltlclai teeth, false hair, gpai
Ish wool, Iron ata.vs. hoops, high heeled
ahOM or Ndslere,! hl, shall Im-ur the
ls-nalty of the law now In force
against witchcraft, aorcerv and such
1 1 U . . m. ..... I
mw losoeiiieiinor. and that the mar
rlage, upon com ictlon, shall stand null
and void."
Bl clock In a neighboring
church had struck one but a few
minutes before. A Isdlci-mnn
wn leaning over the fence on the river
aide of llasset strs-t, staring out into
the darkness. He heurd a door slam Im
hind bin, and, turning around, anw n
boy coining across the street.
"Ia that you, Peter-" the poUeejnan
Inaulred. "What are you doltnr out
door at this time of night V"
"That screaming out on tho river
woke me up," said Peter; "bo I slung
on my clothes and come out to see what
was goln' on. What do you supose Is
me matter, Mr. Fitzgerald 7"
"I don't know," said the officer. "It
Boumhsl like a drowning "
lleii' lie was interrupted by n aerie
or cries fur out on the river. He and
tin- bog looked at each other.
"Klther someone's drowning or some
one's making believe drown," laid Fitz
gerald. "Hut I can't stand it any long
er; Pin going out there. There's one
thing certain, though, and that I If that
feller' only making believe drown he'll
get a good thrashing ls-fore ten min
utes are over."
The policeman took off hi coat and
trousers and began to unlace his Isiots.
"Arc you going to awlin out there?"
Peter naked.
"Of course, I nm. Did you think I
wua going to church In my under
clothes? Now, Peler, I want you to do
something for me. You take thee
clothes of mine down to the atatlou
house No. 1 4, you know. The tides
running out strong, ami If I swim out
to the fool over there I'll Slirelv ief MIL
rhsl as fur as the station house before
I gel back to shore If ever I do get
lank. I wish some of von folks l
a boat Now, don't drop anything from
tin- pocketa."
The screaming Is-gnii ngaln. "Help,
oh. help!" could be distinctly beard.
"Keep up, old feller! I'm coining"'
called ntagernld lu n voice that must
have Waked every sleeper In the neigh
Isirhoisl. He climbed the fence and
sbM.il on the stone wall Is yond, looking
down on the river ten feel below. "All
right, I'm coming!" in- called out again,
aud then he Jumped Into the water with
a great splash. Peter watched lllm
plow through the black i V h "i . till I...
, , , (,
disappeared from sight, and then
turned to pick up his burden.
Peter wa U and huge for his age
but when he started on his Journey he
found the clothes a very uncomfortable
load. The shoes also were BOOrmoUaly
large and heavy. He stopsl and tied
them on olltshle his own shoes. They
went oil very eoiufortahlv n. i
- .... ,ji,-.
them up ami pursued his way much
more eaally than before. Bnddonb a
thought struck him. Why should' In
not put on the coat and trousers as well
as the IkxjIs? They would Ik- much
easier to carry when he had them on
and what an Imposing appearance lie
would present! He pulhsl on the troti
scrs, tinned them up alsmt half a root I
lit the bottom) shirt.sl his suspenders
from dl. ..I.I li.
" ""o.scm ui new ones
put on the blue ciat with It thick pad
ding and glorious brns buttons, set the
helmet on top of his cap, strapinsl on
tile black belt w ith the blllv In u u-
; Joy to carry a billy. If only fr n few
t minutes. He pulled It from the ls-t
and belabored a few Imaginary heads
He really fell hlmseir to be a pollce-
mnn, eo far as appearance went, a to
courage, sir.,- ami itrength, he folt thnt
ne was minuy up to his isisltlou.
As soon us he was started on his trl
nmpbal progress be began t, axplora
bll iH.ckels. In the trousers he found a
dirty handkerchief, a bunch of keys, a
liver dollar, a Ismk of rules and regn
latlons of the notice force 11..
this Ismk under a lamp pool and read
one of the rules
Article IT. It shall tH. the duty of
tVOrj man on the rorce when asked by
a stranger or other s-rson tin- to
any point In the city to direct such Be
" letlnllely and politely to the point
deal red."
"I'm afraid I shouldn't know where
it was," said IVter to himself. "I doO'l
believe many strangers or other crsons
will aah me any iiiestlons to night."
lu Hie breast svket of the OMt there
was a revolver. Peter took it out ami
lookisl at It. but to tell the truth 1... ....
a little afraid of It. so he put It back
again. He felt something BOB try the
taint of hi coat, and w hen, after some
difficulty, he had found hi coat tall
pocketa, in- (Uncovered in one of them a
lalr of handcuffs. With a billy, the re
volver, the BOOh of rulea and the hand- I
cuffs be felt himself a match for a '
w hole gang of thieve.
Ill high spirit, however, did not last 1
hn. It wa very lonely In the atrveta '
oi a city at l o'c l.u-k in ii,..
ttisn it ta In t... iU.i,..i.v At snv rate
MJ ,. IUU LUUUII. - - .
It seem mora silent, for roll feel that
the city ought to be noisy. Peter grew
nerrou. He wa not Ued to being out
alone after midnight. HI great shoe
seemed to make a tremendous n '
lh- shloMMllr li. . 1 ...i'ii ti tit rcmi-mbi-r
Htorle In tho newspapers about bow
policemen had been auulted by pur
tlea of roughs
He wondered If there were any pur
tte of rough lying In wait for him. He
tried to gather courage by flourishing
nis limy, hut somehow that dldn t ecm
to make him much braver. The moon
kept coming out from one cloud and go
Ing behind another the cloud necmed
to Ijo mailing across the sky In a very
unnatural way. At last the moon went
behind n lurge cloud and did not conn
out again. Peter wished It had stayed
I. von the moon wns sum mpalii
De He would have run If he could, but his
"hoes and clothes were so clumsy that
It wua out of the uuestlon. He kept
thinking about nartles of roughs so
much that he felt that he must huv
something to distract attention. He
Htoppod under another lamp ct and
opened the book of rule again. This
HUM be lighted on the following pas
sage;
Article 21. No inemls-r of the force
Khali receive u is-ciiulurv coiiiim-iisuI Ion
for doing his duty."
I eter kept reoeatlne this until In
knew It by heart. I 'iifortunately In
found he wna thinking of the roughs,
too. He recollected that he had sis-n
I'lt.goruld trying the disirs of shop to
ee If they were ail locked. So he be
gun to try them without any deflnlb
Idea of what he should do If he round
one open, lie trh-d ten of them nml
they were all locked. Then In- renieni
IhtisI that Fitzgerald must have tried
them already, so be did not try any
more. 0b, If he could only run! It was
so lonely, and he hud not gone more
than half way. He found n little kitten
nwleop on a doorstep. He plekisl It up
ami sbssl for some time stroking It,
while It purred softly. Then be would
have Uked to carry It to the station
houat- for company, but the raw little
thing might get lost, nnd, beeldeo, It
wn hardly digniiu-d forn policeman to
curry a kitten so a not to Is- afraid!
Ah, what was that noise? He put the
kitten dow n and llstemsl.
ii. I., i . ...
em eoiini near n ateattliy Hsitstep
coming along the other side of tin
street. He stole Into the dark hiillwm
of the shop and looked with all his eyes
while his heart beat iih If It would
break his ribs. The stops came near a
lamp ist and then he could see that
there were two men Instead of one aa
he had supposed. One of them hid him
self lu ii shadow on one aide of a shop
that was still lighted and the other
crawled across the front of the shop on
his hands and knees, and concealed
himself In a doorway on the other side.
I hen they Isjlb waited perfectly still
and Peter waited, too
mo shop was rather n large one. A
great sign hung over It, with the lu
scrlptloli, "PhlllellH QoUkt .lewelrv
. . " ' r
ami silverware; and "Money to l....,i,
was painted across the windows. .With
cr Peter nor the men hud long to wait.
In less than ten minutes the I llit was
put out. Then Peter could hear a ralnt
tootatep inside the simp, eod inomenl
later n man came out, locked the door
ami marten aown the treet. The rd
low behind him b-rt hi place of con
cenlment nnd crop! after him, Th
shopkeeper beard him ami turned
around. At the same Instant the se,
omi man also leu his hiding place, nml
isith sprang upon their victim and
uirew nun down. . h lent ,,., ...
them Covered hll mouth In some wnv
for. though he struggled violently, h
did not cry out for help.
Peter was not especially I, ray.. I,i i..
could not allow a man to h,, assaulted
mid possllily murdered ls-fore his ev
w wwu i ii iiiik iii pievcui it. in. cotir
age of dcsiierntlon -.el.,.,! hltn. nml I,
sprang across the street to the rescue.
crying:
"Let alone of hltn!"
A he ran he drew his revolver from
nis iMM-aet ami tired It several times In
the nlr, feeling Hint he might as well
die now as any time. One f the men
uirncd and ran when he saw what h
Mill ii iir.uiu, ,n,i 1,1 ..
sii.i,isei I,, (, !,
-iii.i-i oi uie law Win w-ii.1 ,.,!i .
I . , . .... I mi (II
: ugnt.
The other tried to follow his comrad
lint I!, .nl. I ...I... .!! .....
1 "eu mat help wai at
nami, held hltn till Peter arrlv.sl It
was rather hard for Peter to ascertain
U 111, ll IL-llll III., I. ...... I... .... 1 ...
' J- ici nun winch w as
UN thief; Hut. Judging with much ia
gncity mat the man with the nocktl
must be Mr. OouW, he began tn tap
iuvwuvn mans ucail with his ,v ,
the poor fellow lay quite still, " tnd
Mould sat on niui.
men I eter drew out his bandcuffl
They were clumsy looking thlnga, Rod
ue um mo. nave the least ,l, ),. ,(
pm tan on. ue eeemed to know tome
i mug.
Vou put them on." he said, trying to
inaaa grumy as sissllie, "an, n i
luce
oil tin
"hols take
the
man
Heathen Monuments.
ItUhop Poleman. of IVlaware. has
publicly eonde.nt.iM ,h,. ,.n(Nim of
er,s tlng what he calls "heathen ,
menta' In Christian ccn.etertea. Among
heathen moiiumeiils hi- els... .,in.i..
wrecked ah.p, broken .haft. .0j S more lonely and ZZZTJSZZ '
out that the oilier fellow doesn't
oeca,
Qonld tH.k the handcuffs and exam
Ined them, ii,- teemi know mum
thine alsmt ilmm r.. i u. . . .
- "ppea them
on uie prnonera wrists without dun
culty. Meanwhile Peter kicked up Mi
i 1 1 1 1 . i' ., i.i.i. . .
, " "'' uau tnrown iwsi
"hen he came to close nuariers wi,
ine enemy.
"DM nny of those thrw
effect?" I II, i nlr... I .'....II
,,.,,11,1.
"No. I
tally, ' , u'r' ,n"1'
NOW, What'll we do with
Do ion tuppoae he is dendl
l. he's not dead. Here you get
I'.". A-! .'"Ming ,,. hnndcuffs
ouid admlnlateMd , li..l- ...
I tr.it.- thief. ,ur ,,n-
The prisoner w, H wh M
I cuity, i eter took bin. h n... ..,
,;;"'i;Ur..ss,i,,. otnw nndthagrnto
en him to his rent
A uutnlvr r window, ,, Nvn
si at the ii,, i i .. ... 1
. , ' ' icioivcr. ami t
wna obviously beat to ,H. off wth
delay
"We'll take him to saatlii. , .
.... ,, -ii ii, s;ii,
IVter, proudly, and awny the w, ,
The prisoner ws tl,,lte COWed, and
he a low. si Idtuself to ho led tMM
-K'letl.v enough. P. ter ws not eapecM
ly plcaseil with either of Ills new uc
qnalatnncea
Oould he had often heard of a the
rlcheat and ilinr-t man In the netgt,
laarhiasl. and It waa hard to have a
charitable opinion of the prisoner. A
to Uoilld. he kellt I, Mil In., .t I...'. ,.
a.viue.1 to khn that thla little pollivman
ImkiIs a foot in d a
SillllC thing he had
b, fore. Tin- young llce-
llillll n fa.-e. too. looked, if the ain as
light did not deceive MBi UkO UM
of a child.
i.l I. .ie t,.m. linvo voll been
ii-,. n -- - .
f..re..v .L. the money lender.
Peter reflected. If he uld that lhl
waa the tlrat day the prisoner would
see thui he was a novice and might try
to esents'. So llltend of answering the
(juestioii he asked another.
"i your name Qonld r he rnqnlred.
"Yes."
"Well, Mr. Could, If n fellow nsked
you how much money you bat! In .vour
safe Inside the store, what would you
say r
Mr. Hotild wns silent.
"You'd say, 'None of your biislne,' "
Peter continued. "And that' what I
any now.
(build look the hint l Uked no
more illlestloli.
Peter was Jubilant. He did not feel
lonely a bit now, although his com-
ptinlotis wete not very g.ssl company.
What luck he had hud! lie hud not
been a policeman for half an hour and
yet he hud made an arrest. lien nicy
reached the station house he hauled tho
rlsoncr up the steps, with (build's as
sistance, In true isillceuiaii style,
When they entered the captain' room
the only s-rsoii there was Fitzgerald
III citizen' clothes, sitting at the cap
tain's desk. Peter nulled Ills helmet
over his eyes nnd chuligcd hla voice Into
a kind of grumble.
"W here's the captain''"
Pltagerald did not look nt the little
policeman. Ills at tent Lai was wholly
absorbed by the prisoner.
'Good hetiveua, you've got Faxon!"
I M'laliuod. "I've been laying for
him for the last six months.
He rang the hell and two officers
ami- In.
Take him downstairs," he said, and
the officers went out with the prisoner.
Then, for the llrst time, Fitzgerald
tuned hi attention to the self-mnde
silleemuil. He looked lit the Isiy hnrd-
r and harder, and Peter, In spite of all
hi efforts, could not help smiling.
Who lu thunder ure you uiiywnv'."
Fitzgerald asked at Inst.
Peter pulled down his helmet so that
his face was completely Invisible.
I've been taking Fitzgerald' plnce
ror the lust hair hour," he said.
Fitzgerald laughed iiloiid and brought
his list down on the desk.
I should say you hud, nnd Well. too.
You little rascal, you're Peter Ilurke,
you ure!"
A step wns heard In the hullwuv and
the Captain came In. He was a tall.
broad man. w 1th n long r. d beard.
Tim) bad you had that long swim
for nothing. Fitzgerald." be said, us he
entarad) "but you might have known
M one was drowning. Ity the wav,
Wllkini say i .iM.irs armatad. Who
got him?"
Pltagerald pointed to peter, ivii.r
took off his helmet and saluted the cap
tnln. The captain ami Phlnean Qonld
stared at him in amnaement.
You?" crhsi tin- captain, at lust.
'Why, where did von iret the cl.nh. .'
They're my clothes," snid Pita.
lerakL
lb- explained t the cantata how
Peter had gained teuiiMirnrv nossession
of them.
"You see," MM Peter as he sal ,l..,ni
on a chair ami polled off his blue trona
er. "tln-y was heavy, ami I put them
on so a to carry them. And then 1
found a couple of fellow J prjg on
Mi Gould and I Jumped n ti One
l them ran away, but we tnelrfal ,i.
other, didn't we. Mr. Ooid.iv"
B this time he had the trousers oir
and lookisl funny eunuch in mtm '
aid's long Mil., coat nml his ..i
' wiiii mini i
trousers.
The three tneetatora io,.i.,..i nn i
silent Wonder. At last Peter h.H ....
off all lil.s extra clothing and eman.1 ...
Is a Dot Iceman.
l ie tired off three cu'trlil.'eu Mi.
I'ltzgcrahl," lie said. "I ts. ' n.....i
I hem to the air. you know v..... i
guess I'll p, home f yu ,!.,' Inl'(,
"r- "' H goo nil about t "
uvuki looK.-d unconifonnblK H,
fumbled with i,is hand m his p.-k,.ts
At last, when Peter llnished sik hMul;
he took out n iuiirter of n dollar.
"You've done in,. gtssl tun., voting
fellow," he said. "Now. you'd ls-lter
take this to remember nn- by,"
The captain ..Hiked dlanWao,!
gerald scowled.
Peter stood up Mn stralvht
ii military salute.
rll..l.. M H L.
... ... n- i. ue S i I .
,, 'iiciitiici- or
the force shall receive a n ,i
I'"'-:..!,.,, for doing hla duty."- i;,-,.,.,,'
"X ' X lilZ-.t'l U,
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INOS HERE AND THERE.
Jokr. and JokeleU that Are Huppoaed
to Have Ileen Keoentl Ilorn-ltujrlniia
ami Doing, that AJ-edd. Curbs, and
Lausbublc The Week. Ifumor,
The Connubial Coarse.
"Have you attended any LOO tail lec
tures?"
"(inly those my wife give me every
nljht."
A iiinhii m aisvMe
HJOMM ays he la entirely n self made
man."
"Well, he must be put together with
awfully long tltchc.
Ilerond Bel
"I Hetty really In love with Hilly?"
"She is -o Infatuat.sl that she doesn't
ninke n fuss wheu lie seinJa her type
written letters."
Confidential
n' Fleure of p.
Friend
How
Proof.
Mother Hoes he often break his
v unl ?
Iuughter-Of course; he stutlera.
I.'nconsclou. Cerctiratlon.
"Here, how's this? In this nrtlcle on
I k you -peak of the 'steplnd.ler of
faille.' "
"I wrote that one day when my wife
waa cleaning house."
I'opulur to Home I'lli-pOMC.
"Isn't It wonderful what n lot of
friends Mrs. Iturnhain has'"
"it is. Indeed, i nm told that aha im
so many Wedding presents It Is neces
sary to pay storage on some of them,
aud this Is only her third wcdl,ng, too."
Merely Ills Opinion.
Illggllis lines your wife piny whist?
Adams She think she doe, but
when Cabrlcl blows his horn I'll bet
she'll awake with u start nml nk him
w hat's trump.
That Would Ai. ,, mil for It.
"It I claimed that thieves are almost
utiknow n In Norway."
"They must have the sume police sys
tem, there that we have lu tills coun
tryr
Cun Win Without.
"Why Is It that the nlalii clrls nre
always the ones who learn to cook and
make their own clothes ':"
"(Hi, that's easily explained. The
pretty ones always know they don't
need to."
Huke promise , , , "0w did
The Hiichess- ',. nsk. I
.i . ... "k.-d tin. if,
a"- mm a lire pass ovt ,
road linee, U r '"'H i
... Tr"l'ied
Attorney-Yon say tUa
kled you In n dark r,,., v "'a
Knir Plalntlff-Yei iij
Attorney-wm y,,'
the court how you ,,-,!,. , ?J3i
r.s..n win, the defendant! r,
IWr Piniiitirr Ob it
when i we wen, , , tj
Hwrwim "ra
A Had fiZ
( llslonierXXM,.. .1.. .
b.rigr,.;rm;::
Hrugglst llecnuse his
lire written so i.i,h..i.. .. ' 'w"l'iloii
rend them. y fa
...... IIer C"la Man, . HI.
"W here am I eolnet , ''
There's i. nml .. . '"' '"aWw
Intefe.sted." " 111 I I
"Friend of the fanny r
",I,re Hiranger. ii
be kitchen window las, !
nsked my wife for f i wi, , ',,
lug t think of ti, ' "... """
'""" d f her hlscuiuT1
fellow. One of th
Ifrtbe ear nml knock,,, '""
-nm. I'm In for a pretty ,
IK..uaea."-Cleveln. P "
A Hpaiiui, .riM,
"Hero l,,,l,i ..
, ,n, ,. i,,.u, t
are von (basin.. ... ... ' "W
,, . ' " "ml ciuin rorr
" "pun!! lympertlaaj
wuy.
"8pnnlh aympnthizer?
you nana by tbatf"
"HI inn unslieu ki
r - "on txu n-,.
thari
raj
All on Wind.
"Tom Harmon, whatever liecatne of
him?"
"Oh, he' here yet. BttUdln' up quite
n repiitnih.il on wind."
"How's that?"
"lies invented three different bicycle
pumps, nml now he's worklu'on u llyln'
machine,"
a Mgfcreat Ca.c.
"Whnt's the matter, old manV
"Oh, nn old uncle of mine la coming
up from the country to visit me. He's
one of the greenest old guys lu seven
Stales. I suppose he'll make me the
laughing stock of everybody that
knows me."
"It Isn't your T'ncle Henry who wns
up here lust year, Is It?"
"Yes."
"You didn't seem to be nlrald
he'd make a laughing-stock of
then."
"I know; but the old chump's gone
nnd lost nil his money."
How They (let Their Numee.
Alfred -Pupa, do they use aiuipplng
iu i ii-n ii. i soup f
Papa No, my son.
Alfred Why do they cull than snap
ping turtles?
Papa Becauae they have a 'snap' in
not being used for soup.-Hui i.er's
Hazar.
Money Would llo.
Sena,,, Well, what do yoa wgj
Wandering musician ti. ... .
Hlbly you did no, bear the'
iu.v no, us yei , la Veil n..r..
door? Detroit Journal.
In the Ati.il.,.
D'Anber What would !.
I.nil o I, I..l .... . ; "U"W
...... .. ii,iii,iii- mi r. i
ll.lu,l..l. ro.
...ii,r.,ii n ,u. Colne I nu n ..i ....
,.1 I t I... ."""'"IH
v.uo. .-i piaeih al foroDw.
Not the Pictures. ,.f r
"How Mabel Helming must love thai
i- nuts i fnairawr.
"Why?"
I h.ird bar any that she artaalall
nrt exhibition with him yeeterdug
never spent a more delight mi afi..r,w,
I. I.... liav. u
III lli I II II.
Ilcfore and After.
l-Ourlous thing! Doet tie vhn
It ciii be.
thnt
you
3 Ho nose
Ocwtu.
In
women
ex
es
How Sardinian Women liros.
The women of Runtlni. , .. .
.... uescnoed
bj a visitor to that Island as belna Of
rteganl hgure and amcefnl carriage.
with large black eves ri.d.
I, . .iii unir anil
'" eoiupu-Mon. They (r,.ss
Very II.H..I. .1. . .
........ .ue sniin- style ns
o. oilier parts of CiVUIand th,
that there Is not the tsm!
uvme DBSte to adopt the l,,.st ra.hl.
I he wives and .laughters r ,i,.. , '
rs and tradesiu..,, i... .,.
". .ue gorLTeolls
naaa Of their costumes smnl.
",u" atnpi) comnen
- He ror the simplicity of (lr,,ss JJ
" WW classes; ,,,,-"
kwa f.tes ami other r.i .
. , . ' - HIS, w hell
they appear in gala ,ir. ss n '
n wonderful s.s.ctncl., Theae ctiutaS.
ta i sort of ft. heirloom, S
down from mother to ,t .
.rensuns, us highly as
els of aneeetral is.rtraits. th, hJZZ
teat changes, a,,., UtsuJ ,
;hap,.si of is..tf toon ii, , n. ,
lrcss at two dirTcren. S'",U
thev udorv '.iilltn.-iits.
munlH-r of " :, . l,UI,V n"'1 the
basal sTT ""-! It has
" I'SlllItl.. .1.
o,-r a verv short kii . . ""r"
d siik hT-v. r
lv In.ssl ..,. '.' ""u" ' 1-a.ae-
SrHn
the gi-neral beanty of the toilet
Proven.
"HreaniR always go by contraries."
"I believe It. I always said my wife
was a dream." Philadelphia North
American.
now. Chicago lw
True Metal.
"I sar. Ilrldirct Is voni- l.-au .1 '
or n silver niau?" asked the hcmloftbt
house.
"Shure, he's neythcr," nnswend ni
cook, who was In love with n pJI
mnai "he's what you call a mi'l
mini, sur." Yonkers BtatesmaE
3D
As soon ns
dler.
a man mIsm.
brhla, ton, he bhm
a-onAn never rvsilyba
I he I.. -,i
7JL
"Very much attached to the do."
mm No Allowance.
J ir i e has an Independent forttiner
I hat s rlirht t,- . . ..
The AveriiKv View
In'his'Zr '"UHt '-very ,,,
"th, I don't know itn
to much." u.nount
:;year"tl,,,rn""ft',',ln
Learned at llo
reacber Which i .. .
''"lltlclnn's Oldest R,,v - VUrf .
ni. J1". .,,,, RroonUL
Old Scadda, across the ., t. th
lngl.s,, , on earth." '" ,h
"How ran you prove It?"
"He Uvea ,, ,,niel, sl,py to aro .
JJJtag ou, the gold fllung hi.
Diplomacy.
Tommy Papa, what Is that dlpl"i
Cy the papers talk so much illiotltl
Papa Diplomacy is the an wblctal
ablaa one mini to Inform another tM
he ls a scoundrel without giving bin!
chance to get mud alsmt It."
ill. IV,.
...i, ,.,s
"Old you notice how her fluff
taperr
"Yes; but I hope that doesn't iw
thnt she Is llglit-llngered." - PlilUiW
I'! i.i Hull, in.
8hc Wua Bsperlencedi
Mrs. Yetist Ilnve you cier sn'n atr
thing In the tnoou which rvmlndeilg
of n man?
Mrs. Oriinaonbeak Oh, yes; when'
was full, I have. Yonkers Stateaaj
An Baoeptlon.
"Imitation ls Iho since res I tintiery.
"Not If It Is work. si off on roll b) !
10-year-old Jwy.M
i... . ... i l...,,ilon.
mwww wm im i.i-. in
Once more nn electric '-el If ln
donee in the Ineeot-bouse at tin-1
don soo, and once mote vlelion. DI
Ions to test Its powers, can 1' i
otigbly shocked for sixpence I"1"'
well half of the laxly of tlx!- ' ,ra',r
miry being Is occupied by organ
nr.- not only electric batteries. I""
ciinnilntors as well, and
luffldently powerful to uuiub "''
arm for a minute or two, and to kill
good-stsod flsh on the spot, '
ends of the llsh seem to Is- In opl"
luiaaael
aswrwi conditions, so nm.
wish to make axperlmenl of It P1
ortle should grasp Isith bead in1 "r
simultaneously, In order to obtain '
full benefit of the discharge.
im'tin
Glad Hay
The best of our elnd da
,.,..,.. Ulualu ll,.. most
wuic ij.ncHiy i, mow ins f ft
rowful, Just as mist and itorm .i"' r
sumspded by the clciir shining r
the rain. No one enn la- ure
morrow will be beautiful but he
hone ao, and there I a pleasure id h
Ing for streaka of light In our
which we should not deny ournelT