Eugene City Guard.
I. L cam I'll em.. Proprietor.
IT70KNK CITY 0RKC1ON
The spanl-h color appropriately nro
red and yellow- blood and cowardice.
The Kmperor of China In known aa
the brother of the mm, but ho U not "no
wuk" '
No matter wMch diplomatic shell poor
old China ilckM up, the pen will not tie
under It. It isn't the Olcatlul's game.
Minister I'oIo'h statement that nil
American newspaper men should be
bunged la too sweeping. There are hi III
a few exception.
Mr. Moody nay It Is easier to con
vert n man thiin to convert a woman.
Who doubt It? There I M much more
from which to convert a man.
Down In Kentucky a bank cnhler
ha Ihi'H convicted tiinl denld a new
trial. If a poor defaulter who can't
atetil enough to protect hluiHelf.
"Do American wive coumUIi-t their
husbands nuri'ly a bread whmentV"
us Its a LoodM paper. If the American
wife la Wedded to an English Juk-' H"-'
dOMD'L
A Maryland man uddenly died the
other day while IhiikMiik heartily at a
Joke. The dlpatche do not tell wliat
the Joke waa, but It mUHt have been
perfectly killing.
A California thief wild til plunder
for M and with the money .aid on
honest debt. A s.siti an the moral of
thl Incident ha been Mtudled out It
w 111 be duly announced.
The other day a coroner" Jury re
turned a verdict that "the decedent
came to hi death by Is-lug Hlnick by a
ml I road train In the hunda of a re
ceiver." That must bo u deadly
wciiikjii.
A Washington scientist wanta all
American sutaddlury coin made of
nickel, lieciiUHc they would bo "durable
and velvety to the touch." There' the
rub! What l really ticcdtsl la a culu
that I hard to the "touch."
"Kver alnce 1 wa a child," remnrk
Mrs. France llislgson llumett, "I have
felt an overwhelming ctiac of rcaponal
blllty for the universe." IVrhapN that
la why Mr. Ilumtt ha grown tired of
assuming the reioulbUlty of a bus
bund.
A cnndhhlte for tl fflcit of Clover
nor lu a Southern Statu ha a single
plank In his platform: "Simple, una
dultcmtcd, unpurehneublo, unbiilldoz
able manhood." An UOtUMl working
tu in ma ry for every one, candidate or
voter.
Tin1 extraordinary safety of the mails
la Illustrated lu the hlritory of the
Hound Robin of the class of '41 Yale,
which In gfty three yinrs of travel
across the continent one hundred and
tlfly time ami Journeyed more than
live bUItd fMl thousand miles without
once boJBg lost.
Spain has DOW a population of about
111,11,1111 people, and of these. accord
lug to a recent report of the Spanish
Government, nearly B, 000,000 profess
no occupation. QrandOM and beggar
alike disclaim the plebeian virtue of
dally toll. There are nearly 100,000
registered beggars, half of 1 1 la 'III fe
male, lu this poor lltle land, nml OD0
third of tin1 entire population I entire
ly unlettered. The "ancient social
canker" of Contempt for work and
w orUer has eaten the life from Spain.
One man with a brace of pistols and
the Inclination to use them put to
night the bandlti who itopped n train
lu New MtMtlCO the other week. Here
1 ih'W Hiiixrt for the theory that n
little ordinary OOUCagC dlsplayisl by
passengers, train crews and express
messengers will furnish all tussled pro
tOCtloU against (he rllllluus who so oftOO
MKCOOd In duplicating on laud the
achievements of the old sea rover.
Tin-re Is not the faintest excuse for tho
docility almost Invariably shown when
trains and stages are attacked.
One result of the lliianclal depression
one of (he gissl things that ofU'11
conic out of evil has Iss-n the back to
the laud mcveineiit among urban pen
pie. The Illusions that drew thousands
from the farms to the cities have DOM
hnttcrcd by the hard conditions eu
tnllisl by the panic. The vital, ever
present, lliixscapilble necessities of life
lire bread and butter, and these the
city can glc only at Second hand.
Whatever storm may strew the Indus
trial sea with wreck, food, shelter and
clothing are assured io the man on the
farm, while the Idle workman of the
city must walk the streets lu vttiu
search for work.
It has long Iss'ii the fashion to pluce
upon menu and dinner curds ikrtfhtW
and quotations to suggest topics of con
Verm ttMi but Parisian lumtiwea have
adoptisl an oppOOltg COtUaa, Their form
ula reuds. "While sitting at table,
peaking on the subjivt of the Hre.vfus
quest loii Is forbidden." In like fashion
Oatketine II once poatctl on the walls
Of the 1 lei milage: "It Is forbidden to
have an III tempered air, to exchange
unkind word, to ssitk III of any MM
whatever. All quarrels must la left
at the thsir w ith hat ami sword." How
beautiful to Is' a dictator: Yet even In
this land of free sHcli, the IK Lome
ladtacrethai suggeata the wisdom of
dictatorship over one's ow n tongue.
Illinois was the second State In the
production of coal last NU, the total
nradnet iing imttm ton, rntned
at the mine at fU.tT'J.oSl. or an aver
age of 72 cents a tou. Pennsylvania
st.ssl at the head of the list, wl(h a
prodnel af M.fWjffW tons of brtnml
nutia. valued at taT.taM.tvat, Kri average
COSt Of 70 Cents a ton at I lie in 'li, -s It
Will surprise people to learn that West
Virginia stands third In .tutl prediction
of all (be t'uncd Statist, her total reach
log 13.050. U7 (ous. valn.sl at tH.(K17.(U7.
an average of (VI cents a ton at the
mines, which was the lowest of any
Stale lu the I iron. Ohio cm I cost an
average of 7N cents, and. although (he
total w as 1.3t0,U00 tuna lee than was
mined In Weal Virginia, It sold for near
ly $l,liO,oiO more money. Alain ma
tandN number live In the order of pro
ductlon. Then come Iowa, Maryland
and Indiana. Coal I mined In twenty
nine Mates and Terrllorb-a, and the
national product lat year waa I'-'- .
78M ton. valuel at $r.W,0!H,7(r7, or Mil
ly $1 a ton at the mines. Of thla f.Z 1
408 toil wa anthracite, produced lu
I'euiisylvnula alone. The average coat
of mining anthracite waa fl.HA a Ion,
and the average coat of bltumluou wa
81 cent. Out In Oregon they pay f.'i.ll
a ton for iiiIiiIiik coal. In .ebraka f.'l.iW
and In California The Increase
In the touting,, wtit out hint year wa a
little mon than .'I M-r cetil., while the
anthracite product decreased nearly
",:0,UUU tona.
Amendments to the Constitution of
the I 'lilted Htate. frequently pTOpOWd
by thisaists and visionaries, Heldoiii
command enough uprt to reii-lve
rlou con side rut Ion. There I a sound
conservatism, which fortunately I pop
ular, ftfnlfrft mishlllng with the text of
that historic Instrument which I the
great charter of our Institution. There
I now upon the calendar of the Senate,
however, a Joint resolution, which has
rorclvod the favorable report of the
Judiciary OOBIHlMat. and which has
iM'hlnd It the force of Its provision for a
possible exigency. This amendment,
which It Is ppipoxcd to submit to tint
IcgUdutiire of the several Stales for
their approval, Is floolgliod to misd the
contingency of the death of n I'resldeiit
cloct, Is-twisii the time when the ebs-
toral college casts Ms vote, early In .Itiu
uary, and March 1, the date of the In
auguration. t present, there I no pro
vision by which another President
could Is.' elected, and Congress has no
authority to supply the dcllclcncy. Tho
rroaldent-tdect occupies a piwltlon of
pftCOlhxr refsnslblUiy ami of smslble
danger. Had the plot to ussu1nulo
btnooln at Baltimore on hi way to
Washington succoedisl, there would
have Iss'li no legal iiiethisl to CDOOM
Ida suceet.sor and a state of iiiuirchy
would have preceded the civil war. Had
Blaine bee i aomtnaUod by the tftnneap
oils convention and elis-ted, there would
have DOM a similar dilemma, as his
lamented ibiith OOOOTBd on Jan. 99,
Four Presidents of the I'ulted Slates
have dhsl within a few wis'ks after
their Inauguration. It would Mem,
therefore, entirely wise to confer In ex
press terms iis,n Congress the power
to "provide for the case where there Is
no peieoa wtitted to hold the office of
I'resldeiit or Vice President, declaring
What oMcer shall then act as Proal
dent." The constitutional lawyers of
Congress may split hairs to tln-lr Imiliis'
COOtettt over the precise form and lan
guage of this amendment, but Its ptir
isise Is a plain ns It nissl Is obvious.
on the shores of North Lnboc, a little
town In eastern Maine, there has been
established an enterprise that Men! to
suggest limitless possibilities. It Is a
"plant" for extracting from sea water,
by a secret process, the single grain of
gidd which every ton contains. Since
the undertaking Is novel, nil the appll
aOOaa are necessarily crude; lull even
How the yield of gidd Is said to lie re
niUnefntlVO, As a business proposition
It seems, at llrst thought, an absurdity
to "treat" u ton of water for tin- lake
of a grain of gold. Manifestly, bow
ever, the elilerpi 'UM ITOUM I"' subject
to the same general Condition! that de
termine, any, the ndi Isahlllly of iiiln
tug low grade ores. Ami the marine
miner. If we may so speak, has the ad
Mintage of tin exhailstless "claim;" for
the total inns of sea water I estlmal
ed at nearly one and n half million
million millions tuns. The new expert
Went Is not only Interest lug lu Itaolf;
It Is slgiilllcaut, as a probable prelude
to othet effort to recover the riches i
held lu tills mighty reservoir. No one
but the scientist can comprehend the
wealth of the waters and even he lies
Hates to attempt to measure It. Itut
lie Is able to mime, In addition to gold.
more Hum twenty valuable compo
llelits of the ocean sal!. These, besides
the chlorides and sulphides of sodium,
magnesium, potassium uu, calcium,
which are the principal components,
Include nreeulc, lithium, rubidium, cm
slum, silicon, boric acid, bromine, lo
dine, fluorine as acid, and the oxides of
nickel, cobalt, manganese, aluminum,
zinc, silver, lend, copper, barium and
strontium us basic compounds Should
circumstances ever seem to cull for the
null. hi. .ii of these treasures, science
will Hud the way. It Is likely, Indeed,
that long before (he need of them
arises, commercial enterprise will have
been attracted to this hew Held of ex
ploltatlon Which Is capable of adding
so largely to the wealth of the world.
There have bevu pessimist who
argued that In the distant future In
creasing population might exhaust
natural resources. They did not real
l.o that man has but Just begun to get
acquainted With hi dwelling place.
The sea, a well a the hind, may some
day satisfy all the needs that are
known to the present age, and meet
new demands of which we do not even
dream.
The Omen nf ico.
At Jlddiih 111 Arabia, the Mohaiiitm
dans locate the grave of Pve. A small
tempi.-. Utterly OUt Of proportion to the
Moslem conception of the llrst woman
(they plain she was HO fis-l I .-ill Is
erected almve the ashes. The structure
Is In tad repair, nut If It mined often
lu Arabia, Mother F.vo would have a
rather damp resting place. As It is, a
big pnln tree has forced Its way
through the room. The sst Is (he
DtCCCO Of a seven j car pilgrimage.
ou June 8, which is alleged to be (he
anniversary of the death of M. the
disirs of (he temple remain Open all
night. Ou that night the spirit of P.vc
mourns for the loss of her miinl. rcl
sou. In fear and trembling the pll
grim listen to awful sounds of la
mentation emanating from the tomb.
There arc usually In the throng one
or two scoffers, who claim to rccogtilic
the voices of the priests In the doleful
walls, but their opinions do not carry j
j weight with the majority.
"Nop." said Mr. Ibvkwell. aa he
Wiped hi glasses. "I'm afruht John's '
college education ain't gxiln' to do him '
much good, after all." 'Why, Mian,"
his anxious wife triad, "what makes
1 you say that?" "He admitted In the '
store yesterday (hat there was still a
i few things I knew more abou( than '
him."- Cleveland U-oder.
Cupid Introduces more house bills
. tuau all our Cougreaauieo.
HATS OFF I
nt off!
Along the street ther comes
A blare of bugles, a riiOh' drama,
A flash of color beneuth (In- k;
lists off!
Tint 11. i g Is passing by I
r
nino and crlm in snd white It shines,
Over the steel tipped, ordered line.
lints off! i
The colors la-fore us fly;
Hut more than the Hug is passing by.
Hea fights and land fights, grim ami great.
Fought to make and to sare the state;
Weary marches, and sinking ships;
Cheers of victory ou dyiuf Hps;
Psys of plenty and days of peace;
March of a strong land's swift Incrense;
E'l'lnl Justice, right and Isw,
Stately honor and reverend awe;
Hign nf a nation, great and strong '
To ward hsr people from foreign wrong;
I'ride und glory and honor, all
IJve lu the colors to stand or fall.
Hals off!
Along the street there comes
A blare of bugles, a ruflle of drum,
And loyal hearts are heating bigb;
lists off!
The flag Is passing byl
Youth's Companion.
AN ARTISTIC ENDING.
Hi: sun Nhoiio under her hat and
made her abode her eyes with
her hand, u she lookis) up ut me,
atandlng by the edge of the river,
"Now, Mr. Omway," hImj said, "ure
you j ut to sure you can manage a
anotl"
"I'll promise you n new frock, Mlae
Delia, If I Bpae4 you," sold I, gallantly.
"lkin't la- rash," she laughed; "per
hap I'll think u new frock well worth
a wetting."
"I KiM If 1 up et v.. II," I replied; "If
you upsot yourself, 1 cry off thu bur
guhi." "I'm sure you'll never bo so mcun as
to argue the -uuse of Uie damage,"
Mid DeMai "anyway, I'll risk It."
"1 feel a little afraid." rihe said, as I
gave her my hand to help her ulsianl.
I am liiellmsl to Uilnk, however, (hat
her licsitatlon wus nut altogether due
to nervousness, but was u little I u tl tl
mead I'y (lie fact that she has the pret
tiest little feet lu the world und was
wearing I he very daintiest of brown
hoe, which eDOWOd to the bent advan
tage, on she sbssl lu timid uncertainly,
one foot on nhorc and one slsisl oter
the canoe I confess the attitude was
fascinating to me, more especially as It
necessitated a Very distinct pressure of
my steadying hand.
I was the more convinced that iho
timidity was uffecttsl when she even
tuully settled herself among tile cush
ions lu the Isiw of the canoe, for all
the world an If to the manner horn. In
deed, as I slopped warily In the center
of the craft I u ii sure 1 was really the
Uiore nervous of the two, but then I
could Judge of my -liorteoinlngs as a
canoeist fur la tter than she.
"Now, then," I said, "are you tjulte
sure you are comfortable'"
She gave a last simsitb to the fold of
her brown skirt, g.ive a little sit to tho
sleeves of her white blotire, and lay
back against the red cushions with u
sigh of content,
"Yes," said stie, sweetly; "1 am
ready."
1 let go the luft of RTasa to which I
hud been clinging, panned off gently
With my paddle, ami we were fairly
float,
The sunshine sparkled on the water,
the leave of tlM trees waved ever mi
softly in tin. breoaci the bright colored
dragon Hies darted hither and thither,
while along I lie bank the Is-es Hew Inn
fruldly from How or to How or. as If they
only kept themselves awake by luces
aunt bu..lug.
"Isn't It delightful?" murmured lie
Ma.
it I, Indeed," I anaented, but would
have done mi more truthfully If the DOW
of (lie canoe had not displayed so great
u reluctance to keep straight up the
river.
The epiaah of the water from the pad
die was wonderfully soothing, und my
fair companion chsosl her ejraa, Direct
ly she did so, politeness no longer do
barred me from gazing my till at her
uplurms.1 face.
1 looked admiringly, taking mental
utock of her charm. How softly her
dark eyelashes swept her olns-k -how
ciMpicltlshly curved her month -how
dainty the suspicion of a dimple either
aide her how delicately turned her
chin how becoming the red cushion to
her wealth of black hair yea, undoubt
edly her nose was retrousse, but a tig
for your stately Often' bi-autie! there
I a fascination in the crash Into the
bunk went the lw of the canoe, and
the subject of my reverie opened her
eyes w Ith the start.
For the life of me I cannot steer a
cam' and thtuk of something else at
the same time. My the greatest g.ssl
luck we were not upset.
"1 am most awfully sorry," I atum-
mered,
"1 was tiiNtrly asleep," she said.
"1 can't think w hat happened; It was
dreadfully careless of me."
"O, It realty doesn't matter." she re
DHed, with a great go.s.1 nature.
1 paddled clear of the Kink and vow
ed such a collision should Ml occur
again. Hclla, however, made no fur
ther attempt to go to sleep.
"How smoothly the river run," she
aid though (fully.
"I'nllke the course of tme love," I
added, rather weekly,
It was not a very apposite remark,
but then I knew the topic of hive waa a
dangerous one for nie, ami so. foolhar
dy, I courted It, as the moth the candle.
There was a pause In the con versa
Hon) while I successfully negotiated a
iu. Men band In the river.
"It's a great pity. Isn't It?" gajjfl He
lta. "What Is?" I lunnlred.
"Why, that the course of true hive
never runs smooth."
"O, but It does sometimes, really." I
aaerted,
lappaaa Km lore nml reaiiy true,
then," said she. "Nowadaya, books and
plaje m arly always end unhappily.'
"O. well." said I, phlbwopblcally,
"there are two aorta of love; there Is a
passionate love, full of presentiment.
which makes a man morbid and melaa
choly, and forces him a thousand times
to cure the fate that bringa It to him
bet Uila aort of lovo U too lofty for a ,
workaday world, and the only artistic
.' ending In a tragic one.
. . a a ,,..11,. n.tUT -, . I
i am airani i ism-o mwm "
again by holding forth In tnl way, but
she ouly gave I be polltfel poaalMn
yawn, aa she said, "And what about tho
oliier?"
"The other," I went on, taking care
to watch (be course of the MDOn, "Is a
tender pustoral love, which makes a
man cheerful and take rosy vlewa of
life, causing him to thank heaven ev
ery day that such a love ha fallen b)
bis lot, aud the artistic ending Is wed
ding Ml and domestic happiness."
Delia baa the sw.stest gray brown
eyi-s, and It U an extraordinary pleas
ure to loot Unto then longer than is ac
tually ncceaaary while listening to. or
making, a remark; only, ejs-aklng f
artistic endings made me fed quite cer
tain there wus a more artUtlc ending lo
such u look than mutually to drop our
eyes.
I wa Just thinking aliottt this, and
how very graceful some girls bik lu a
canoe, when, like a f'l. I let my puddle
catch lu n weed. I enih-uvon-d aa geu
tly aa possible to extricate It, but Iho
wistsl proved obstinate. Delia grew
nervous und snt up In the ciiimh'.
"O, pleaoo be careful, .Mr. Conway,"
she cried.
I pulled a trifle harder, but to no
najipgna, Then i lost patlenoe. I gnv
the pndtfjg a sharp Jerk, the WOOd gave
way all too suddenly. Delia gave a lit
tle scream, ami I clutched wildly at
the side of the canoe lu a vain attempt
to keep my balance. ... It was ull
over lu a moment, and when I any all,
I Include Delia, myself, and the canoe.
j Fortunately, we were close to the Iwtik
! and the water waa shallow. I scram-
bled ashore und heliKsl Dellu ou to dry
land us U'st I could.
"Iteally, Mlsn Dellu," I sutd. feeling
unutterably fisdlsh, aa I caught tin
painter of the canoe and rescued t'c
floating puddle, "I'll never forgive my
self for this; I wish you were u man
und could swear at nie."
"What an awful fright I must look.
snld ssir Delln, putting back her wet
hair from her face.
I murmured of "Venus rising from
tho se;t," but IndlstliK-tlj', suddenly
doubting the propriety of the allusion.
"Dent forget your bargain, Mr. Con
way," said she, rihaklng the water from
her Isslragghsl skirt; "will you order
the frock or shall I aud scud you lu the
blur
I know it wn not n very suitable oc
casion to do anything so serious ns
make an offer of marriage; also, that It
wa a very prosaic way of putting It,
but. npon my word, I couldn't help It.
"I wish you would give me the right
to pay your bill," I an Id.
Delia bluxlnsl and then he laughed.
"I dou't think I mind If I do," hu
said.
We were both very wet and lth very
muddy, but 1 hsikcd Into those nfore
nientloiusl brown eyes, ami this time
she didn't turn away, for I discovered
the more artistic ending- I put my arm
round her waist and kissed her. Ma-
dnma
Miss Kinma Thursby, the oiuv fn
MOM singer, owns a minor bird, whoaa
health i oarefuuy Inquired after by
Ml Thursby'H friend, lu fact, a child
of the household could not receive more
attention. Minor waa given to Miss
Thursby In QartnaUy, lie I a plain,
black little fellow, with a yellow licnk.
ami ha the entire run of the unit
MB! In which Mis Thursby lives.
What he lacks In Is'iinly he makes up
In Intelligence, but his humor must al
ways lie consulted. W hen It pleases
Mm be will sit on the ruck of the piano,
sing snatches from "Romeo and .lull
et." trill beautifully, and make Imlta
Hons of the banjo. Minor Is full of par
tlnllty. and culls "cranky, crankv" to
those whoso appearance Is nut to hl
taste. He also Is devoted to children.
nml when those that are rlaltlna Mlaa
Thursby go away be takes It as a ht
Konal Injury and sulks for n long time.
Colonel Hubert (1. IngereoU deem
the dog to 1k the natural servant and
Companion Of man. To Ids favorite dog
Husk the Colonel communicated much
of bis Intelligence, and the dog respond
cd to him a to no one else In fact. It
was rather it Joke among the Colonel's
friends Hint Husk knew Is-tter than to
exhaust his gray matter on any but hi
muster. Husk, as he grew old, wus great
ly troubled with rheumatlam in hi
shoulder, so that he found going up
stair painful to him He would, there
fore, walk totbeelcviitorln the colonel'
ok) bourn on Fifth avenue ami wait
patiently for some one to come ami pull
him up. During the lust three years of
hi life he wa attended regularly bv
n dog doctor, and when he dhsl hi
funeral wit n large one. lie w as taken
by the family up to their summer home
at IHibh'a Ferry and laid at rest In a
beautiful sot overlook tag the Hudson
HI grave I uow market) by a pretty
tombstone.
Richard Croker, of New York, the fa
mon Tammany lender, in com moo
with many Other well known men. has
a fondness for pets. His selctlon of
them also show bin to Ih w ithout u
paratttton, for be I especially iartlal to
a parrot, and a black cat. and ihvlaros
tint, although the parrot I tmnpoaod
to lie Inhabited by an evil spirit. It Is
au amusing bird. The parrot which
Mr. Croker owns Is rery remarkable.
He paid HBO for her and uauil her
Kate, In harmony with her gay, dash
gag personality. She slugs, duties. Is
nMjMttllh, and ha a keen sense of hu
mor. Backlog the uunl repertoire.
Kate sings as her piece do resistance
sweet Maria." giving it the true lata
nation of devotion. Neither does
Mr. Croker agree with the M..n
prevalent In Uermauy about black
eata. Where they are ahminod as
omeus of evil, exs.'lallj If they pns
the cradle of a shvplug child, and are
supposisl to foretell the approach of
death by appearing at the bead of a
sick person. To Mr. Croker a black cat
suggests success. In the days of old
Tammany Hall one was always to he
seen prowling alsmt. and as guardian
) of the good luck of the place was treat
cd with the utmost coiishteratlyn. The
the eipert boxer of the uelghborbood.
cat nppn-ciai,s. III po-ltlon and was
PENSIONERS' COMPLAINTS,
some of the Oarer letter Received
br the Kuieau.
A good many nm-er letters are tW
reived at the pension office, nearly all
of which are tucked In the flJOl which
contain papers rclutltig to a mllllou
cuwh ruys the Washington Htar.
lome time ago u widow who had
worked bard to get a pension became
posescd of the Idea Ihat the postmis
tress of her town was her enemy. He
I the letter she wrote the Commla
iloncr of PetiNlona:
"I WU taj ya how old sojer WldOWl
are tretcd by our BadbodOd pontmlstrla
she are only fourthclasa anyhow, and
keel a stoar redenge ull the postal
curds & letter too, which we cunt not
get our imper tel he have the sumo
red herself. She report to Com. Pen
loua that my hul n died of devilment
Wteh are a lie be die of the army an he
war more plouser then our Hcdhcded
postmlstrlH."
A Katisu man write the penslou of
Boa the following:
"I ws by the uewapnpatl that you
say you are going to try to get Congri'w
to put a atop to the present opportuni
ties which the luw offers o women to
secure pensions for life from the Pulled
Suites bv marrvlna an old soldier.
What the devil do you mcun. sir? Do
you want to lose your scalp? Of course
you will be opposed. We were assured
lust full that In case of McKluley's elec
tion, his administration would lie
friendly to the old vets, und BOW you
propose to deprive muuy of us of our
only chance of helping to perpotonta u
r.ne of heris's, and the pleasure of
eventually Is lng pottisl to death by a
nice young woman. Do you thtnk the
people will tolerate such an outrage?
"Hut, my dear sir. If you must ni-om-meml
such a law, can't you make an
exception of old bachelors- that's n
gisid boy? Two of my dear neighbor
and myself settled here In the wllder
ms .it the close of the war and when
the country Iss-nnie settled leu year
later we hud 'lost our grip.' I am 68
years old, und the other fellows are
past 50.
"And uow, O comrade! do not, I pray
tht-i-. attempt to deprive us of our only
nope to over securing the consolation
so necessary to gladden our thrilnlng
years. For of course, you know there
I nothing uhout old fellow like 0UT-
Mlvet to Induce young women to inurry
uh If they cannot get a penslou."
I n - and Ml lit...
In the choice of texts and hymne
clergymen Hud It necessary to exercise
considerable care, less they give of
fense to some of their hearer. Hut lu
the pood duy when ministers were nc
Cttetomed to preucb nt their tlocka
rather than to theni they did not hesi
tate to choose text which conveyed
plain home truth. There Is n goisl
story (old of u Highland mlnlHter who
wtl bidding farewell to bis Hock. He
told them that then- Wtl little lore of
Ood among them, for Qod hud tukou
none of them to Himself since he cutnc
among themj that there was very little
lOTO among themselves, for tbOTO had
I io marriages since be enmo to tho
district; and that there was very little
love of their minister, for his stipend
wus small, and they had not Increased
It by a mny. He was leaving them
to become chaplain ut Inverness Jull,
und he would now proceed to Id text:
"I go to prepare it ptaci for you." A
cleric who wits uliout to wed on the
Sunday previous to his marriage
preached an ehspient sermon from the
text: "lie went on his way rejoicing."
On the following Sunday he had appar
ently changed hi tune, for hi text ou
that occasion wa. "Oh. WfOtehod man
that I uiii." At the next ineetlutr of
the Presbytery he WU severely Chaffed
by hi clerical brethren, but thought to
get the Is-tter of them by quoting the
text, "I wish that all men were not ul
moat, but altogether, uch as I ant." A
ptlck w lttts.1 brother, however, uddisl
to the hilarity of the meeting by cry
ing out, "Finish your quotation, Mr. C ,
'Except these Isind.' " On one occasion
a minister happened to give out ns his
text the words, "He glveth His beloved
sleep." Usiklng alOOnd the congrega
tion, and obcSI'llng a considerable
number of the nwnben already nod
ding, be suddenly stopped and said.
"Hrethren, It Is hard to realize the tin-
bounded love which the Lord appean
to have for a large portion of this cou
gregatlou."
Teacher Bttifted (be Topic.
The Sunday school teacher
Peached 11 point IO the lesson w hen
hud
she
was dwelling upon the future reward
of Hume who Is'luivisl proH'riy here,
when the audacious small Imy, who
fnspient tiioct Sunday cbiil, sjsike
up ami naked if nil good people went
to heaven.
"Ccnainiy," replied hi teacher,
Well, has my gTunduiothor gw
heaioti?" perslettsl the youngster.
"Stindy she has, my Imy, f h,.
n gi woman. M
to
ana nana t, declared the
loving youngster; "there she Is
there"'
fit II
over The teacher turned to other phases
of the lesson. Coiigreguttonallst.
Women' lUIr Inprvrtng,
It Is now said that women's hair Is
becoming more beautiful in color every
year, and N No growing thicker and
longer. Thl I said to he due to the
mall, light honneta tht women wear
(Yrtaln It is that ulr and sunshine Im
prove the color and texture of the hair
Sun bleaches the hair, and Venetian
beauties always dried their ruddv locks
In the snu. thereby letting that "tint so
much admired called Venetian red Of
course sunshine w 111 not bleach dark
hnlr. bin It gives a deeper color to all
kinds ot m- , and win bright,.,, ami
brown hnlr.
iirt to the Qunn
Queen Victoria has IICPiilif.k.1
Jnbll.s. gift from a urlvate ,u.s, ,
.......... I . 9 Nil'
1 signet ring of Qu.vti
Mary
11.. wire 01 vtiillain III. The
hetor gave her majesty the
same col
dlatnoud siKiici ring r H
eltrletta MusU u-... .
Charles l.'s rrnaen, ten years a. '
On the Molar Plr..
holly--lwn't Imagine whin ,.,.,
ne so atupld tonight
me so MlilpM to ulght
Mis (.'uttltig W,.n pm
AIout the Is-st thing
.llvaaltt 1.. .a
.von ran
, " ' "'at he works aa w.ll
alouetuwheu be U watched. '
PROFITS AT MONTE CAHLtA
.. Indicated by the
l.oorinou
I'rice of the Kninchle.
One can form some Idea of tho enor
mous prottts made by the gambling hell
t Monte Carlo by studying the torraa
on which the lYInee of Monaco lux
cr.intisl a prolongation of the conces
sion under which this Infnmoua estab
lishment exist. The present coueoa
Hloti expire In 1918, but the sharehold
er think It wise to Insure a further
eoncaaelon before that date. The terma,
j which were preaented and rutlllod tho
other day, are n follows:
The o0,"o0 tor the concession, plus
"O.OOO allowed for the expense of the
government of the principality, are to
Is. continued, together with the allow
goa I for public works, lighting, umlu
lommce of the Institutions, etc.,
amounting In all to another o0,000 or
60,000 per annum. In uddltlon. the
CiiHlno Company undertakes to pay
over Immediately to the Prince In bard
cush the sum of 4U0,UU0, und further
1 to spend 2UO,KiO upon DUblk works
1 In the ibape of opening up new uve
nues and treet In part of the princi
pality, Indicated by the Prince; to
spend MO,000 lu the const ruction of a
new theater and opera house, thl to be
completed in time for the exhibition of
WOO; to hand over to the manager of
the theater of Monte Curio 1,000 for
each performance, thl sum to be spent
exclusively In the payment of special
artlata, the company to further bear ull
the cost of the chorus, orchestra and
scenery. Finally, the company under
takes to pay over to the prince In cash
000,000 In the year 1M3, which was
the date of the expiration of the old
contract gruuted by the Into Prince
I flharkn IX
The Casino Company Is therefore
culled uiiu to And uu additional um
of l,itO,00O (without counting tho
grunt to the manager of the theater) us
thu price of the new concession. The
Prince nlso luslsts upon having In fu
ture a direct voice in the management
of the concern. lie Is to be cousulted
In the appointment of lth the mnn-
uger uud directors of the Cuslno Com
pany; he Is to havo the right to nom
luute the manager of the theater; to bo
consulted lu the engugenieut of the ur
tlsts und the chef d'otchestrc, aud,
most Important of nil, he Is to buvo
control of the "publicity" department.
The company spends about li.000 In
"siuarlug" (he continental press uud
putx-biislug Its bcuevolcut neutrality In
the matter of gambling. The Prince In
sists upon his right to Issue to these
Jouruals which nre In the puy of tho
concern such notes and paragraphs aa
bo may thiuk proper, London Mull.
Tho Lady and the Tortolo.
Fearful and wouderful has Ixvn the
decorative wear of woman everywhere
through the nges. 8he has woru skew
ers In Hie nose of her, rings on the toes
of her. She has tied a snake uround
her neck and tangled llretlles In her
hair. Hut she has Defer, so fur as our
record goes, served her lovely self up
to us eu tortue till now. Hut now, It
BM'Uis, tortoise Is going to be Inn sense
her only wear. Of course, the tortoise
she wears Is the live variety the dead.
In this case also, would soon cease to
Interest her. The live tortoise comes
to her from the Lundos. It llrst pusses
through the hands of her Jeweler tho
Dnadorned tortoise Is not beautiful. Tho J m.ut bus as yot been deitee! ciunlik
Jeweler ilts the tortoise with a filigree
emit of mull studded with precious
stones. The animal Is then secured by
a Hue gold chain. The wearer attaches
tho chain to nn ornamental hook In her
dress, tirst taking a turn with It round
her own neck. The resplendent tor
toise then ftil tills Its mission by exhibit
ing Itself 111111 the wearer's shoulders
to the extent of Its tether; and thus
enables lovely woman to exhibit her
self at what, we should hope, will bo
the extent of hers.
It has struck the French Society for
the Protection of Animals that to havo
Its shell set thlcWy with precious
stones, nnd to he fastened by n gold
chain to the corsage of the wearer,
must U distasteful, If not positively
painful, to thu tortoise. I,ogal step
hnve therefore bitm taken to put a
stop to the practice; but the Jeweler
and their fair clients will not yield
without a tight. They assert that so
fur from being Inconvenienced by enr-
rjuig a row diamonds and rubles on
its cumpnoe, the tortoise enjoys the
distinction, and not being glveu to over
much locomotion the chain has no ter
rors for it, while auy little discomfort
It stirrers is more than counterbalanced
by dainty fare nnd good treatment
London Pall m1I Unsette
Cheap IrfHlglng Mouse.
What the ultluiiitc effect of establish
ing cheap houses for men In large cities
will be Is u mutter for serious thoiiht
The certainty of cheap and oomfort
able living will stimulate the already
trong tendency of village and agricul
tural populations toward the cities and
what does this mean but more 'nnd
more uccesslou to the already over
crowded ranks of workers, with the In
evitable consequence of a lowering f
wuges? Hsks Vogue. New York bus .,1
rvudy s,'u this cou.,iiHon brought
'"'"( by the chief Bowery lodging
houses; the drift city ward of ull el..,sso8
of workers Is uow so swift that the
laborera In the vineyard are too u.r:
ous. and the workers are In conso
wuence t the mercy of capital. The
problem to be detailed Is whether tho
community and the nation ari. to Ih
Isnllt.sl by this mitt! Ill 11 ir I
UfO in the city. Many Intelligent work
ers along sociological and Industrial
lines condemn the cheap ho,,,,, for men
ou two grounds: That It lowers warn
and that It encourage celibacy. rroln
Which It will Is. s,s,, that lu these ,h
Of complex social conditions phiia'n
hropy m,,ia tot, tempered by an ill
teUlgent apprecntlon of the social rl
q.ulrcments "t only of the time but Z
classes as well.
Po'lce aa Hhark Caiohera.
Among the multifarious duties which
dennnd the attentteo of the Calcutta
POMC, ; the .capture of sharks In T0
HoofUj tlmis a place. Muring the past
WOng years rewards huv,. Jg
t the destruction of those martno
'-"" eaters, and ns-ently .
PWinnntltM down a scale for these
payments. 1080
An Atchison man believes that If he
should I go ,0 war. and be shot In th
hack, he wdjrecelveheck pension
The od founu,n wU,
RESULT OFANART8T.
iileo 10 u Haw y,,,,,,,
after lrec-,l u'.i, "V
A
tho
rail rnttn, gtyhahly (r
corridor of an uptown 1,,.,' , "
and watched the hum.. . .
'Mt;
' II !,,
Wor,' trousers Irwr. ul ""'It
iiiniiKMiisi mien nilster. "
Ikt," wild the tall man,
"'fMlirj.
w,'"t I
mn ouiy iin-sneq madly, b.
U'lir.l 11,1,1 ll'll: ... . .,
M na
...... .,,., .
alltles of polite society. 1 ow.m
lutlon to my proHout condi,!."
witty artist, William Carroll" 10
"Was It Ids wit or his sM,
helped you?" 11
"Ills witty comments mad,. mM)Hu.
then act. ragbtorteuyearH,;
and Hurrett were plavlng iuT1
gugouxmt ut a theater In this dt
was a raw youth from Illiutrfl? '
earned ten dollars a week In nn u.
lug house. Of course, I
with letters of Introduction ami 1
met aonie exisdlei . N i
for an orchestra wnt, exTHs-nni.'1 8
Joy u great treat, but It KM tl
1 mi it mi rr:mslrii' limn T
My and tho woiitlu-r was tmimy u
"My wunlnilK? wo m J
tl 1 1 ( . n O'lfllllPil tl Uakl . . . 'I
dnL.r MM II m , . '"I
, innisors bagjw..
the knees, mid I am sure t pr(l).otJ
anything but an edifying spetUclt 1
went In Just ns the orcbeatn btm',
piay aim uinrciieu down the agfaj
"The uslier eyed me In a iksh!I,
and iiooplo I saw smiled at nje. jJ,
aa soon as I was HoutH I notiisv
rnenii nivirny nml bowl. II,.
rncua noaruy nnrn bowed. He
m uk uui uv-ver even retunktl
my rsuuie. ijie uuiy WHD Dim I00U
amused. I snw mver:il other who
1 ne uini iin-j HlllllitMs nie tl.r.
atoly. In my Ignorance I coo, nit
aglno what It all meant. I became
coinrortaiue ami men polled off
linen onawT, 1 wo men near nielaaf.
wl, und I hmird one any: "Look at tk
Juy with tlie cardigan jacket on. W.
aer ir no Knows who Hbakapoui UT
"Ik"twen the acts I wuJkid In
lobby, but those who know uiearokU
speaking to me. I became aware lag,
ly that my clot lies w ere ngatut at
The next day I -went to Carroll' via)
ruvoa against snobbishness. 'Wij
nun 1 wear uny aimi or clothn wttn-
out being snubls-dr I asked, liu.it
ply wus aplgrnintnntlei
" 'Well, you cannot Iss'tiuse etabltj
are stables und boudolni are h
doirs.' "
Tho Minute Parts of a Waick,
The watch carried by the arerm
man, says the Joweler' Kevler,
composed of irlnety-elght plecei, 134
Its mauufjuTtutv emlirinvs more thu
2,000 distinct and separate optfatfcm
Some of the smallest screw an a
minute that the unaided eye cannott
tlnjnrlsh them from sbs'l flllno e
specks of dirt, I'nder n powerful aa
nlfylng gluss a pcrtVvt screw ha!
vealed, the silt In the head of traldH
2-l(XiOtlw of an inch wide. It tan
806)000 of these screws to wdpu
pound.
The hairspring Is a strip of the fia
steel, alxnit nine and a half Inches kti
1100th of an inch wide, and 27-limaj
of an Inch thick. The manufactmf
thesu springs requires great still ui
care. The strip Is gaug,sl toDO-lOWa
of an Inch, but no mctwurliiy to
of flue enough gimglng to drtermlne l
fondiundby the size of tho BtripeWtle
strength of the Uuislnd .spring rill in
A 20-1000th tart of tin Inch dlfferrare
In tho thickness of the strip natal
difference lu the running of a waul it
about six minutes au hour.
Tho value of these springs, vphsoto-
IshMl aud placed In watch,, U en
mous in protsnrtlon to tho material ma
waiich they are made. A eunuiattal
will give a good Idea: A ton of d
made up Into hairsprings, whtn h
wnvtclM's, Is worth more than tr!
nml a half times the value of the an
weight In pure gold. Hairspring vto
wtilglis one-ttwentleih of a grain W
Inch. One nule of wire wdgha M
than half a pound.
Tlie balance gives Ave vlbrattoeiff
cry second, three hundnsl every b
ute, 18,000 every hour, 132.000 erfl
,ln nT.A 1 K7 IU1 AllO ovofV VtW -1 I
each vllwatlon it rotate abontomaj
t H ...I.I..I. ,.,l;,.s 1I7,I".
,1 10111 iu Linns, j
000 overv voar. If tills be conipainfj
with a locomotive with six foot drKK
whixds. It will be seen how stupewW
is the amount of labor K'rforml
these works. Lot t he wheels
until they have given tho same rum
of rcvolutlonn that a watch docs In
your, and they will have covered lag
tance equal to twenty-eight comi'W
circuits of the cartli.
Hr Theopv Offensive.
A o-lrl vhn has theories litis til-19
her mind that of one of them, at l !
uli MII MW ncnln slsvlli In I'0'1
m--t- . . am. if
-c aoanopoqy s ieu, uw i""
met au elderly but still youthnM
Hearing man. who Is u power lu n1
r,. ., . 1 ,,n hair. mi
a uv conversation iuiuoi v - -the
hiolt of loiir.
"Yon em, toil a mnii's character (f
the way baldness begins with bla
anuoiinccd the young woman
t Ills I !'! 1
a .i.,i,. 4-ii,ii,iu imrliTtit Hl
..l .., nt th.. iTJW'll t
head llrst."
bald at l
'And suppose he grows
tomiihvfl flrstr' iiskisl the eldenj f
Ueman, whoso hair Is really 'llWS
hang. J
'Ht ' o..l.l Ha t-,iitnir woman, I""
HnJv "lin'a n r, illtTel. tlt s-1". " .,
t ..'. mon vho gre
-l I", R 1 0 O i, (OflU .' - " , J
nW,i l,l fnaiiliiiKM llrsf who Wtln
utter scoundrel nt betirt."
"Hot " lw.,in her listener.
..1. , .t my r.fil na""
VIl, lie 11111 couvi.o
she went on.
. ... . . .. .. o.on 1UB. '
mil ne s ti 01.0- j
same. IXm't you agrc.
with m'
UH
The elderly gentleman
rose.
voice trembled a little.
-Young lady," he said. "I
toupee." .
Glass Umbrellas.
. , ,...f.,r.. lotlE f'3'
11 is nitnorisi nun M(
...I 114'
umbrellas will te in gene..,. ---
Is, umbrellas covered
m 1 bit
ll
spun glussclotn. 1 Dl H ;
ufford no protection from .
the sun. but they win 1 ; ,
' .,,- that I
tirf
vious aiivaniage moo.
can be botd'ln front of the fa
. . ..( and SI
meeting the winu ami r ".
niu Hma Ika user will ''C awe
ejgnVJ
that he does not run Into unoi
Individuals or lamp posts.
Many a good reeolutioD ha bet'" 1
tared by a single "smile.'
1 ffjfj fgnl ' I