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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 7, 1896)
' ..,. v r HE High ' root of Moxford was idu rested In 1 1) In June day In the (ui itii I of oh! Carmcl Rnttorshy, ...... 1. 1.. I I V ' IMIIMIII? HIIU lUI), JJI.IJ amid tu'ver again enliven, the r( li.id kept the curiosity shop fur jut tlfty years. TIih oUI spinning jU, sparrow-legged chair, carved -I bureaus, china of all sort, war built UiV SO lo llie hammer. Mox- rj n in'd mint tlit attractive window iNti. .''J almost as much mi ttio quaint gtt of Its late owner. jvter Kuttorsby mid Mrs. Peter were 4rly uu the scene, lu decent black. jriji-y 'iiiJ extremely eotufortablo ei .tallon. To be sure, for the last ten they had uot Interchanged many ftir,!4 with till) late Ciinncl, who was four's ciily brother; but iw Mr. IVtcr marked when the news of lirr brut h ajluiaw's death arrived, "be coubln't (ft shame leave bis money to any one f Voiidk Waller Patter-shy. Mr. and rs. Peter's ouly toll, did uot conceal Hi, joy lu bin unclo't demise. He told III boon companions at the lieu and Clil.keu tbut be was lu for a good 61.11;. i'lllood, you know, ns the saying la. la Qjltker tbau water," be aald at be (rained bla fourth pint 011 the evening af 111 avuncular bereavement. I Xor were the three daughters of Mr. inJ Mm. I'eter without discreet maid enly elation. Their uncle, while be llv- 1, win Midi n II k 11 re that they never cared to look at hlui. Resides, be hadn't $ very civil tongue; liked to be caustic aluiut their high-heeled shoes and ex trusive bonnets find bats, and to be Ti'ry rude with bin Inquiries why three jlr. limits did not press for the honor of their mini II cloved bunds. I It seemed unlikely, Indeed, thai a finale tear would be shed for the old furiosity man. I Of course there was his little servant girl, Joan Smith. But she was only "a workhouse hussy," to borrow Mrs. Pe Jer's elegant expression, j Wltb bis usual eccentricity, old Car mel bad taken a girl from the Moxford Tulon after the death of bis elderly housekeeper, Mrs. Roberta. Joan was 'that servant, and she bad served hi 111 frilly for the last s'x yeirs, being now 'lm: Hi A iiulet, shrinking, dark-eyed Tllttle orenlure, who bad revered her ;lead master quite unaccountably, ami 'devoted herself to him henrt and hand worked for the Moxford Tin Plate Com fpany, she bad had no one else to care ifur. 1 l. .,..1 tin P..r..r f.inn.l Vn ft'l nicely prepared for the funeral. There was u)o a rather clumsy wreath of wild hyacinths anil buttercups on the colli n. 'The Idea of such a tblug as thntr exclaimed Mrs. Peter, touching the wreath with the tip of her parasol. Joan was near at the t ine. She burst Into tears at these words. "Please, ma'am," she said. "I should so like It to go with blm. I picked tbeui all myself." "It shall do nothing of the kind, then: nd your place Is In the kltcheu, uot u the parlor." retorted Mrs. Peter. Joan retired, crying bitterly; and Mrs. Teter Hung the wreath 'nto a comer. "The wench ought not to be allowed to leave this house, Peter," she said se verely, "without being searched. The Idea of her being wltb all these vally bles all alone, too." Hut Peter was not a cruel as his wife. "Cameron says she Is entirely to bp trusted,' he replied, "and It 'a for him to act ns he please, he says." Mr. Cameron was the Moxford law yer who had charge of the old curiosity limit's affairs. Two or three others now arrived. In cluding the lawyer. Mr. Hurst, the Methodist Xew Connection mlnlstc, and old Craven, the silversmith. Then High street enjoyed Its lit' tie solvation as the hearse and three coaches solemnly passed along to the cemetery on the hill. Joan viewed the start from the back ntry with tearful eye. She was peri odically convulsed with sobs. She watched the procession as long ns ever he could. The void lu her life was Itn niense. So much so. Indeed, that even the sooth'ug voice of Seth Perry, who had come upon her unawares, bad no effect on her at first. "Never mind, lass," said Beth, "tlilngs'll all come out right." She answered bltn with tears. "He's boun' to hp.' left you summaf, Joan, my lass, to remember blm by; and, whether or no, you've only 10 speak the word, and t beer's one as "1 be proud to have you." "Seth, I can't talk wltb you now." she said, showing bltn bcr damp face and bright eyes. "Nor come home and take your din ner with my mother. Joan?" "No, no. I mustn't go yet They'll turn me out soon, I know; but I must tay till then." "Well, lass," said Setb, "you know best; but I'm fair nelilrg for you, and this night as Is I'll fetch you to home." He took her In bis arms In the pas age, up which so many antique articles bad traveled during the last half cen tury, and kissed her wet cheeks. "And now I tnun net back to work." he said. It was a hot day even for June, and when the funeral party re-entered the house Mrs. Peter's face was extremely red. Here they were met by Walter Do' tershy and the three girls. This was Mrs. Peter's arrangement. "The more witnesses there are tho tafer it'll be." she said, alluding, of course, to the reading of her brother-in-law's will. "Besides," she added, "they may hear something nice for them selves." As far at he wn couoerned, how Mar, joum Walter bad fully Intended WVvtf W('t ii -a e j j i to be present, even If father and mother objected. Joan had procured cake am shorn nt the Instigation of Mr. Cameron. ;i She hid not bep,H herself to a g!..s of wine, even In ,,. f khny yer's siiggiMitioti; imr yet to a crumb of the cake. She continued uloiie In the kitchen. The tramp of strange feet lu the rooni over her did but make fresh tears well up from the bountiful source Inside her. And so the funeral party mid the others sat n round old Cannel's table and waited for Mr. Cameron to begin. The lawyer did not keep iheui w ilting. He smiled rather dryly, took a glass or sherry and drew forth the paper from Its otlb hil blue envelope. Never was then'. In Mr. Peter Ft.it tersby's opinion, a more horrid ami dis graceful last will and testament. Certainly her husband was lo receive a fourth part of the proceeds of the sale of the deceased's goods, but what was a mere fourth? The other three-fourths were left-of all Ihlngi'-to the Moxford I'nlon, "to help them to tralu up more girls like Joau Smith." Those were the very words. To the three girls of Mr. and Mrs. Peter the three largest mirrors lu the establishment of No. 5U were bequeath ed, without comment Walter Hattcrs by was not even meutloucd. nor was Mrs. Piter. THEN MKS. PFTK.li SEARCHED JOAN'S ATTIC FROM WALL TO WALI Mr. Cameron received 100 and so did the d ased's old friend. Mr. Craven. Lastly, Joan was mentioned. She was to have a year's wages, all the furniture of her own bedroom and the largo scrapbook for which she bad so often plied scissors and phste, and which contained curious Items of uewi paper Wtolllgeuce during the last twen ty years. "There, gentlemen and ladles, that Is nil," sa d Mr. Cameron, "and uow you must excuse me. I lenve you with my cotrustee, Mr. Craven." "One moment, sir," Interposed Mr. Peter, to whom his wife had whispered much. "What became of nil bis money In the bunk? He must have had thou sands." "The balance to his credit on May SI." answered Mr. Cameron, referring to .1 note, "vns 43 Ss 10.1. After the fun eral expenses nre paid " "What's be done with It?" cried Mrs. Peter, redder of face than ever. "I cannot tell you. uiadam. C.ood morning." said the lawyer, who then wisely left them to flglit the mntter on; among themselves. Hut before be went he. with his own bands, carried to Joan In her kitchen the unwieldy old scrap book, and told her that It was her prop erty. well as the furniture of her room. "Come, cheer up. my girl," he said at parting. "Your master was fond of you, and he would rather see you bright than downcast. And remember that I am your friend. If you should ever hap pen to want oue." Joan thuuked Mr. Cameron and then, having reverently kissed the old book, put It on oue side. Mrs. Peter, berore sue panen. thought well to trespass In the kltcheu and say some cruel things to Joan. Rut somehow the girl did not m'nd them very much now. Then Seth looked In again, nnd said she was to come up to hli mother's that evening. If she didn't he should fetch her. And to make sure of having her he carried oft the scrapbook. Mrs. John Rattersby did something else before the left No. SO. Together with her disappointed son nnd darling Walter she climbed the stairs to Joan's little attic and took a hammer with her. "It's the very kind of spiteful thing he'd be likely to do," she said, "but I'll not stnnd It-robbing hi-, own flesh and blood for n workhouse brat." Mr. Peter left her to her own devices. He, Mr. Craven nnd the three vexeJ (indeed. Insulted) girls went away to get he.'. Then Mrs. Vorr studiously senrched Joan's attic from wall to wall. She turned out the girl's one tin box. looked Into the drawer of the waslistand. rip pod up tlie paillasse outrageously and threw the straw nil about and treated the bolster with equal brutality. There was also a hnudsome old oak wardrobe that would have graced even a royal bedchamber. 1 is " Joan's three or four por frocks. It was quite laughable to see how mother and son tapped and probed t.ils antique piece of furniture. They even knocked off th head of the lion In re lief it the top of It. to see If th'r was any tacret cavity behind tbs head. the wardrobe taurht them nil more than the paillasse am1 the bolster. "Weil. I'm off to the II. 11 and Chick eus." said Walter Hatterby at length. "I've had euoiigh of this." So, too. had Mrs. IVtcr. for there was not an am. Ic in the room 'hat she had not thoroughly test,..! The sun was still well nbove the ceni. , rtery hill when Seth called at No. 60 In hi workaday grime and bis workaday grease. "Art ready, hiss?" he Inquired of Joan. The girl beenn to make excuses. "It's not right, Seth, to leave tie house with no on.- in It. He wouldn't have llk-,1 it," (ho "It's not right. Joan, to make a prom ise and not keep It." retorted Seth. Come. now. I'm not go'ng to leave yon to mope your eyes out. lo you mean to make me carry you?" She was persuaded with difficulty. Then It was a revelation of character to see how she locked one door after another mid pocketed the different keys. "Anybody 'ml think the things were nil yourn." said Seth. admiringly. "It's the same to me ns If they were." she nnswered. with the tone of fresh tears. Hut Seth hurried her off before she could break down again, and s.xm had her In the little brick cottage he shared with his mother. Old Mrs. Perry had In her younger days Imvii a servant herself. She had a true w oman's sympathy for Joan, and discernment enough to know that her son might do far worse than marry such i a girl. It was ns comfortable a meal as any In Moxford. with thecal purring on the hearth all the time. Afterward the talk turned solidly upon old Cannot and bis quest to Joan. lugular b' "The money and the furnlturell be useful enough to you, child." said old 1 Mrs. Perry, "hut the Idea of leaving you a thing like that!" pointing to the scrap book. "I used to be so fond of It," stam mered Joau. "The times we've sat to gether, blm and me, cutting what he'd marked!" She rose and lifted the big book on the table, untied Its string and ouened ' It. "Why, what's this?" exclaimed 8eth, as a bauk note for f 100 appeared. Joan turned pale as she took It up. It was Indorsed on the back, "Pay to ! Joan Smith and no one else." j Ere they had finished looking through ! the book they found twenty-one other ' notes of exactly the same kind. "They are certainly yours, my girl." ' aald Mr. Cameron, when Joan called 1 on him In the morning, "and I shall 'have great pleasure In telling Mrs. i Peter Rattersby what has become of I the money to her brother-in-law's credit at the bank." Cassell's "Saturday Jour- 1 nal." ! LATEST COLO BRICK SCHEME. The Operator Does I.I It la Political Arguing on the Side. There la no eud to the schemes to which swindlers resort. A pair of them are dow working In Pennsylvania, In the vicinity of Susquehanna, who have the very latest In gold brick tricks. They get Into nn argument with each other on the silver question until they have attracted a good-sized crowd. They manage to work on the feelings of their auditors until the latter are prepnred to take sides themselves. One of the men he who has been advoca ting sound money makes the state ment that he can pound a double engle Into a shapeless mnss of gold and that It will lie still worth $20, wherena a silver dollar so treated would not be worth 100 cents. His opponent says It Is no inch thing. To prove It the gold ninn takes a $10 gold piece from his pocket and pounds It out of shape with a stoue or something. Then he starts out to visit a nelghlsirlng bank, only to tlnd thnt It Is closed. By this time there will be some old fellow In the crowd, also an advocate of the gold standard, who Is so anxious to acore a point for bis side that be will offer $20 for the lump of gold. The money Is paid and the rogues skip out, leav ing the old fellow to discover that the gold he has lionght Is only a bit of al loy and uot worth a dime. Havage Warfare. Mr voice." said the one In whose heart the fires of patriotism burned, "my voice Is for war. "And I suppose that In case of actual ho'tllltlee It would be your voice you would send." said the desiccated cynic. "No. In ueb a contingency I would send the voice of my wife." The other was also married to a mo slc.il woman, and his sympathy, though not outspoken, was expressed by an elo- qtient s;nnP', ,n ,lnu 1 A nattered. "Kml why." the teacher continued, "should we hold the aged In respect?" -Cause It Is mostly Cie old men that bus all the money," Tommy an swered, and tbe teaser wasnt able to offtr any better reason. -Tit Bit. A LEADER OF JOURNALISM. I'Tii-Ut Cliartit-irr of J.ime ('nr!fl llrnnrlt in tlie Ni'W-"l'"' t iii-l.l. The eli tracer uf James lior.l, n Hen t'ett hi a leader . Join u.iLsin Is .1 Jinir ulily summed up In a.i liitcie. li.g ar ticle by James Citeim.iu. As an edit- l""' s-xi Wl'll,'r' Ml'' ' I"" patient of political control or partuer- hlp. He scents danger lu every ap proach, and he will deliberately attack a party to prove that be Is not under Its lutliietice. According to b in. an editor should be a man In a watch tower, out of sound and out of ica.-h. Otherwise there would be conspiracy and compromise. Private premises are to be broken lu the puMv interest, l'rleu.l.shlps are to be regarded as traps for tin? editorial conscience. So Mr. Reiuiett is a lonely man lu a croud, a hermit in the midst of bustling life. 1 can tell one story that Illustrates the maguitlcetit perversity and shrew Isle news that have preserved the Herald as a historic example of Incorruptible journalism. When (ien. Crespo under took to overthrow the rotten and tyran nical government of President I'.ilaclo, he had thirty ba.liy-a ru.c I Venezue lans to follow hlui. The revolution was sanctioned by the people, but they were afraid, at llrst. to Join Crospo's stand ard, (i rad ually, however, he gathered together 11 email army, and advanced Upon the government forces. Palaclo and his friends had looted tlie treasury, money was needed to crush tlie revolt, and a sum great enough for the pur poses could only be had In Europe. Almut this time an old friend of Mr. Reimett called Ukiii hlui In Paris, and explained that the Venezuelan govern ment desired to place loan bonds for many mlllloiu 0r dollars In the Lon don market. He Informed Mr. Dennett that he was to be tiie nL-ciit of Palaclo the matter, and would make a for tune out of It. Then he asked for the co-operation of the Herald, on the score of old 1 1 mo friendship, and dually he announced that If tlie Herald could be little the revolutionary eaime. and so stimulate the cotitl.leiice of bankers In the government bonds, the transaction would lie worth two or three hundred thousands dollars to Mr. Dennett. At this Mr. Dennett smiled grimly. "It is worth 11 million dollars to the Herald to know these facts," he said. 1 do nut quite understand you, aid the friend. "It Is worth Jl.lKio.iH.O to support the other side." "Why, Mr. Rennett. am I too late? Have the other men seen you?" "No; not nt all. Hut you have given me proof that the government of Vene zuela deserves to fall. It Is worth fl.000,(MHl to the Herald to be on the right side. I shnb back up the revolu tion, and let tne truth be known to the world." In vain the friend pleaded that h'.s conversation was contldeiitlnl, anil that a newspaHrbad no right to take advan tage of facts communicated under the seal of secrecy. Within an hour, a cable message set the wonderful machinery of the Herald lu motion, nnd dny nfter day Its columns were crowded with dispatches from special correspondents In Vene7.11e.1la, describing tblev ylwort the revolutionary army and the weak ness of the government. These dis patches wero reproduced In all tho European capitals, nnd Palaclo's bonds could not find a purchaser. Without money or credit, the tyrant fell; and the first net of Crespo, after he enter ed Caracas at the head of bis victorious army, was to send a long cablegram, at the public expense, (bunking the Herald, over his own signature, for Its services In the cause of liberty and constitutional government. In Mining Town. Clergymen are frequently good story tellers, but as a rule, a proper dignity prevents them from wanting to appear In that light publicly. The following wns narrated to a reporter by a popu-' lar divine: i "In the days of my early ministry,", he said, "I thought It necessary to Im press thoughts of salvation by every- ; thing I uttered, and I am afraid I was sometimes not altogether discreet. , "My first work wns In n Western min ing camp, nnd I had to remain over night at a rough hotel to wait for a stage to convey me to my destination. At the table a savage-looking man said, ' gruffly: " 'What might be yer line, young fel ler?' j "'Saving souls,' I said, solemnly. " 'L'gh,' was the only response. "After supper, a coarsely drensed man approached me and said: "'Pardner, lo" 's innko soi.ie kind o' , dicker. We're In ther same line, an thar ain't room for both. Thar's a camp furder up the crick whar yo' j could do well.' '"I think you are mistaken, my friend,' I said, 'I am a minister of tho Gospel.' j "'Souse me, parson; 1 thought yo' . was a cobbler.' " A Kiory or Henslor Ilawlry. Pitting by my side at the convention 1 which Dominated Lincoln for Presl- ; dent, writes Isaac II. Dron.ley, was a newspaper editor who called me "Ike," j as I called him "Joe." He was run- tilng over with enthusiasm. When tbs ' nomination wss made he interrupted I himself In his hurrahing to say to me, j who evoked on In wide-eyed alienee, "Why don't you hurn.hV" I dou't I know why 1 did not; but I remember' that I felt queer and only said, "I , can't hurrah; I should cry If anyone touched me." I came nearer crying j when, lu less than twelve months, I , saw him In uniform at the head or Cis 1 first Connecticut company thnt an swered the call for troops. He wns afterward a brigadier general. Oever- nor of his State, and Ilieiiilier of Coll- gr(it!l and has lately been elected to 1,1. third term as I lilted .states Menn- tor. There were probably other similar cases. It was Joe Hnwley who sat nt ' my elbow. Would f w.i nip Mini. Ethel She anils immense; but Is she liable to swamp suyoiie? lioacvl eus she'll about swamp wU ,n l(, rPr.,.ves tbe bill for her. New York worm. 1 Plrane. ! He I can't get try wife to use tht telephone. j Sbs-Tbat'a strange! I thought your I wife liked to have 1 volet In every 1 tblof.-Wblm-Wbanis. LET US ALL LAUGH. JOKES FROM THE PENS VARIOUS HUMORISTS. OF flruinnt Incidents Occurring the World Over - fajluua tbut ArcClirrr ful to OKI or Vounj Kunny Selections that You Will llnjoj. Wrurlrd. She takes very little Interest In pub lic questions, and her father 11 ml brothers had disturbed her reading. "Dear me." she exclaimed, "do stop talking about McEltiley and Di.miii. Anybody would think, from the way you keep discussing them that they were base-'iail players!" Washington Star. Flubs of the Times. "Dnslness Is very poor." sighed the dcrinatologlcal cM'cit, "but I try to put a good la. c on it." "I have to put my bint foot forward myself." said the pedicure. "My business used to be a paying one," chipped lu the chiropodist, "but now too many tocplc have a baud lu York Press. Weary Walklns-Alu't you nfrnld of flavin' 'pend'cltis? Mosely Wraggs-No. Why? Weary Wntklns -Thought maybe , you were. You're lookln' so si-cdy. Another IUrenc. Watts I guess II Is a fact Hint there Is no difference between genius and , Insanity. Potts-There Is some, nnywny. Man ! can't very well gel out of a murder scrape on the pica that be Is n genius. I Indianapolis Journal. A Li'sami In IHidoiiiHcy. Mrs. Hendricks (proudly walking out of the sewing rooin)-Well, Percy, bow do you like my bloomers? Mr. Hendricks -Ob, they do very well; but, dear me, bow much older than usual they make you look. on the following day a nent pack ago, intended for the faraway heath en, was forwarded from the Hendricks home.-Cleveland Leader. No Time In Watts. He My views on bringing up a fam ily She-Never mind your tlews. I'll tiring up the family. You go and bring up the coal. Chips. Not roiuii'lmrnlary. Mother-Hid you tell youi papa that Mr. LongJohn is here? Child Yes, mamma. Mother-What did be say? Child - I can't tell. Mother-Why not? Child - I teen use It Is not polite to wills per In company. Larks. She-Two weeks from to-day we'll be one. lie-Well, let's be happy whllu we can. Couldn't Kuul Him, Spirit (at tho Lily Kale senncel Iion'l you know me? I am the spirit of yilur mother-in-law. Investigator -You can't fool me. My mother In law nlways brought her trunk with her.- lluffalo Times. A Orcnter M II. "My papa." said the Senator' son. proudly, "helps makes the luws." "My papa." retorted Ihe Federal Judge's son. "iinninkes the laws and nobody helps blm, ellher."-Twentleth Century, llrr Sweet Friend. Miss Antlqucl cun t help wonder ing w ho that old gentleman enn lie who bus been staring at me all this even ing. Miss Erniikly-Why, that Is Prof. Nu nls. the most celebrated antiquarian In the city. DoMton (ilobe. Depend on the Literature. Pukiine Io you believe that read ing makes r full man? (iaswell-It depends to some extent on the literature. Koine reading Is mighty dry.-Pittsburg Cbroiilcle-Tel-cgraph. Hard Hick. 'That was tough on Davis." "What?" "He stepped on a banana peel, fell, and was arrested for giving a street perfon ance without a license." Truth. Not a lilt. Amiens Why do you use th ei presslon funny Joke? Aren't all Jokes funny? Editor Nol by a long shot. The Jokes thnt other fellows get off at your ex pense are never funny. Truth. Ananias. Phe-Dearest, am I the first girl you ever loved? lle-I.lttle sweetheart, the man who could look Into tho'? trusting blue eyes and tell a falsehood Is not tit to live. So prepare yourself to hear the truth. You are. Cincinnati Euqulrer. With Ksrrpttrna. Tbe L. A. W. Itulb tin says a woman can be Just as ladylike on a wheel as be can lu a carriage. Yes, but what happens when the wheel strikes a bowlder? Is that a ladylike way to dismount? Cleveland Tlalndealer. It."-New- la Hunucr, Why Harrow Trouble? mf0- The Reverse. Col. nml- I tell you, the country It going to the devil. Mlsby-Oh, 11. 1; this Is the time of year, my lsy, when Ihe devil goes to tbe country. New York World. Not Mn.lc "I suppose you have music at the hotel?" "No, but we have a hand." liar per's 1 1 7.11 r. Ills Com tint I ve lluinn, 5& . 1 . mm. V ; ' (tl;'f:l r' , k'1'' : ;-'. ' Y I ' ; V'r"rt' "W Phrenologist Icxnmlulug llooney's Ilea. Il -Vow, this large, w ell developed bump right here denotes comhiillve liess. Rootiey- Scbure nnd that's no lie fer yez, protlssor. It wor In a fit of coin ballvencss lasht night that Katie, me wolfe, bit me across the bid wl.l tbe sehlove poker and raised that protuber ance. Vp to Date. I'rrpiirlntt for F.mrrurnrlre. Jane-How did you ever hapcn to fancy such a man? I jiurn - Why, you see. Mrs. Wheels! lias asked us to go slumming next fall and I wanted a husband whose clothes ! I could wear. Cleveland Post. 1 Nn Alternative. "Dosby, you're paying dear for thai rich wife of jours by having lo slay' nt home every night." 1 "It was either that or go to work, my boy."-Detroit Free Press. Literally True. "I understand, then," concluded tbe Interviewer, "that your success was achieved at a bound?" The India rubber inn 11 nodded blf bead gravely.- Rockland Tribune. Good Kvlilooce. Lj She -You won Ile-l'm -er- 1 her hand, then? presume so. I'm tin der her thumb. A llrldr'a Letter, There Is only one way to net at a fu neral and only oue way for a bride 10 write n leller-sbe always says she Is perfectly happy and Hint her husband Is the best limn In the world. We sup pose that a bride really thinks for two or three wi-cks Hint her man Is nil right. Atchison (ilobe. All Kluht. "Isn't It too bud about Charlie Ncwcd? I understand that since bis marriage be and his wife have been living from hand to mouth." "Oh, I guess they're all right. It's her father's band, you know." New Vufk l'",H' ..... tui port, "Imics your country support a large population?" "Well, we manage to hold up pooty much everylmdy't comet "long." De troit Tribune. 1 m A Fair Hlorv. j It;u with Hatan. Willy-firaiulpa. tell me a story. i Almost every renowned man of an-(imn.lpa-Onee upon a time, before tlqulty In the Middle Ages was tie people thought of marrying for money lleved to be In league with Bntan. Proh- " j ably the oldest legend of which tbs Wllly-Oh, I don't mean a fairy story. Faust legend la a continuous thread la -Norrlslown Herald. ! that of Simon Magus. According to Not Neceaaarjr. Pastor (benevolently) I hope you art. a Chrlstlnn, my little man. Do you say your prayers night and morning? The Little Man Nope; ouly nights. Pnstor-Why dou't you any them In the morning, too? The Little Man Well, dls kid ran take care of hlsself when he's awake, Wushlnglou Timet. Outing the Hpeaker, Small Orulor-Whcu I think of the 'orrlble consequences of drink, geu tlemen, I boll, gentlemen, I boll, Oue of the Crowd -Rut It dlnna take muekle to mnk a wee kettle bile! St, Paul's. Oono Too Far. Young Duke It'a no use, Nelly, dear, we can't mnrry; my people wou't hear of It. Cbonit Glrl-Oh, yet, they will, though, when the breach of promltt comes on. -London Fun. hs.' r. Avv vi"" 1" W yf f y L. t'0--cM u The Roberts' Keyuiitu series Is to b augmented by Marie C. Dalfour's "Marls Stella" ami Claude Nlcholsou'a ! "I'gly Idol." I I he complete edition of Kipling Is to I be lu eleveu volumes, each with a j frontispiece by tbs author's father,' !, k wood Kipling. Charles fj. D. Roberts, the Canadian , scholar and poet, has undertaken to w rite s s. hool history of Canada. It It sum to be a good one. Prof. Wood row Wilson's sympathetic slid digullled mngnzliie articles 011 r"""" Washington Tl" K",",'n, w" thai Max N'ordau's call.M "Soap Rubble on are about to be form. verdict appears to be volume of stories s must have taxed to tlie utimslt tils powers of dullness. The poems of Johannn Ainbrosliis, the Cicrmau peasant poetess over whom the critics have been so wide eyed, sro to be published In English. The translation Is made by Mary J, Sa fford. Sir Richard Temple's autobiography, "The Story of My Life," s.sui to appeal In two volumes, covers an active public career of nearly half a century, Sli Richard spent tweiity nlue years In sdiiiiiilstrntlve work In India, and dur ing his membership In the House of Commons took part In S.insi divisions. J. K. Iluysinniis, who Is to be an Il lustrious member of the new f.onconrt Academy of Ten, tint aliout completed a work railed "La Calhedmle," In which be will continue the train of thought started In "En Route" and eventually to be completed lo "L'Oblnt." He prefaces his new Issik with some flattering words from Mc (IiiiIhIoiic. Exit the Mine Jacket. A proportion of the blue Jackets of any full rigged ship were necessarily aililetes. The "upper yardmeu" lu a line of battle ship or a frigate were ex ceptional men In this way, and much more so, perhaps J i seat about the time that sail power was receiving Its death warriut than ever before. These young men bad ro race aloft to nearly the highest points, at t ip speed eight or ten times a week wher. tbe ship was 'lu harbor, to keep their heads and main tain their breath whllu holding on by "their eyelids," as the phrase goes, aud manipulating with a enrcful and meas ured order uf actlou the various aud lutrleite arrangements for "crossing" or "sending down" the royal and top gallant yards. It was all done at full speed, for It wat universally held that the upper yardmen gave a character to tbe whole ship; and thnt one which was foremost In till xerclse was evec considered the smartest ship" In tht fleet. The upper yardmen werealwayt the coming men. They had the most opportunities for distinguishing them selves, were the best known, and wera most under the eye of the authorities. They developed great muscular power In chest, shoulders and anus. Tbelr lower extreniltlet suffered, and one always knew the men who had been upper yardmen by their tadpole-like ap pearance when they were iMtthlng. Hut In tbe modern ttaiu llno-of battle ship and frlgatea these extremely ath letic specimens forme 1 a very small ' minority of tbe ship's company, and none of them could lose his turn at being upper yardmen to long at the ship's reputation depended ou the speed ' with which the upper yard were cross ed and sent down. In harbor the rest I of the blue Jackets had the handling ! of yards and sails for exercise one or ' twice a week, but at sea the use of tails for propulsion grvvr lest and less I Important, and most of the work aloft I was moro of an exercise and lest of noeoslty. Justin, he was a native or Ultton, village In Samaria; he was, no doubt, man of great Intellectual powers. lit waa the father of the school of the. Cnostlct. It It also reported of him that ha could make himself Invisible, Hint he could pass through flnmot un harmed, could trausMNio matter, make gold, and exorcise demons; In fact, ha laid claim to all these powers, and hit tinino at a miracle worker lived through many eonlurlea. Unusual ac complishments, great erudition, wert attributed to the supernatural Influ ence, and the general disposition to superstitious assumption waa strength ened on the one band by dogmatic af firmation on tbe part of the church of Ihe existence of a personal Satnn, with hla numerous household, and on tht other hnn.l by Incorporating the magic arts among the practical sciences, of which astrology and alchemy occupied uo ineun part. An Kicepilonal Case. "You know old Jobu Hoodner?" "Yes." "Never railed anything but 'Honest John' for forty years." "I'm." "County treasurer for twenty-eight years and guardian for half tht orphans I In the country? trusted by every, j ImxI y." I "Yep" j "Dead tores weeks) and experts have gone over hit bookt." j "Well?" : "They found that bt was honest la I every way." Teecher'e Saving. ! "More pie, Johnny? Why. child, yon can't possibly bold another mouthful." "Hut, ma. our teacher ,-ayt there's al wayt room at tht topi" New York Tribune. A New Version. Little Miss Muffed sst on a tuffot Esilug Ice-cream and care,. While the y otitis u"u wltb ber wss all of a shiver To think of the rush it would Inks. Law bulletin. Drow n iwes your wife ever threat to go home to her mother? Jones No, tbst't the worst of Itl Her niotosr wltb us -Puck. r r, 1