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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 21, 1888)
FUN AT ANNAPOLIS. How tha Naval Ciitlfta Kelleve the Mono onf of Their Kxlutenee. Hops are given by the officers and cadets alternately every Saturday night, but when a contagions discus breaks ont in the family of nn olllcoi hi quarter are quarantined and hit ii not allowed l attend the hops. 'I'll measles broke out In the family of a very briginnl Lieutenant, only one or two of hi little ones being; taken Kirk. Fearing that ho would be quarantined from the hops for some time if he allowed the disease to purauu its own course and take effect 0:1 hi children I one by one, ho conceived the brilliant idea of putting the Kick and well ones together, so that nil would be nick at f nnce, and thus shorten the tiino of quarantine. Happily no serious results followed thi devieo and tho officer wn noon attending the hop again. When the cadet are reported for any breach of discipline they have the priv ilege of making any excuse they may nee lit, though it mutt be brief and to the point. One cadet was reported for nnniilil.iry conduct in raising his hand in the ranks. lie submitted thin ex cusc: "Hug in car." The excuse was satisfactory, though he was warned not to repeat, the ollon.se. There i. a Lieiitnant attached to the academy an nfficer-in-chnrge whose duty it is to inspect tho endoto' rooms every morning. The Lieutenant is very absent-minded, and on one occasion he brought his absent-mindedness into requisition, much to the amusement 4if 11 cadet. While nn his tour of inspection ono morning ho found an un authorized article hanging on tho wall an one of tho rooms. "What is that doing n the wall?" ho ns'sed. "Tho wall has heen there all the time, sir," re plied the cadet. Turning to tho mas-tor-at-urniM, ho asked whether that wall had been there before. The astonished man replied that it had, and tho Lieu tenant walked out satisfied with the in spection. Passing on to tho next room there was a cadet visiting contrary to regulations. Tho cadet had time beforo the officer entered to gut behind tho wardrobe door, but his fuet were in .sight beneath the door. After looking mound tho room tho officer espied tho uhoes and reported the cadet who lived in tho room for allowing his shoos to lie out of tho proper place, which was under the foot of his bod, and ho walked out, feeling that he had con scientiously performed his official duty. The cadets are required fo'ltoep tha lloor of their rooms cleanly swept One Sunday morning tho commandant was making an inspection of tho quarters. Entering ono room he saw that the floor was not very cleanly swept, and spoke to tho cadet about it. The cadet replied that the floor had been swept that morning. The commandant was stressed in a clean while suit, and to show that it was really dusty sat down on the floor, and getting up ho turned around and asked tho cadet: "What do you think nowP" Tho cadet replied! i think you are a confounded fool." Tli order was issued tho next day fot the cadet's dismissal. Practical jokes are seldom played by the cadets on the officers, but last Jan nary some of them thought they would hare a little fun nt tho expense of tho lute Lieutenant Danenhower, who was ellieer-in-chargo on tho occasion. Sev eral of them got together ono nighl -mil rigged out a dummyendet, putting on an old undress suit, shoes, cap and every thing complete. Thuy then lifted the dummy over tho balustrade and dropped it from the fourth floor, at the same time raising a dreadful 'ry. At tho foot of the stairs stands a marine, who aoU as mossonger to the officcr-in-charge. The cadets never thought of tho marino boing under neath, and down went tho dummy striking the poor man and uearly scar ing him to death. The cry brought Lieutenant Danenhower to tho sceno, and, being nearly blind, he took tha dummy to bo a dead cadet, or pretty nearly so. The dnxed marino was dis patched in great husto to tho hospital for doctors. Soon four stalwart blue jackets came with a stretcher to curry 'ho supposed dead or dying cadet to he hospital, and behind them hurried all the doctors in tho yard. The dummy was immediately put on tho stretcher and taken to tho hospital, where tho doctors found out tho true state of affairs. The doctors were the only ones who did not enjoy tho joke, 'hough perhaps it might not have been o funny for tho cadets had they been vanght, (Yr. Buffalo Courier. Judge "Of course, you have an exense ready." Prisoner-"! have, Tour honor. I wus full, but it was for medical purpose Whisky is good for snake bites." Judge "Were vou bit on by a snake?" Prisoner "No; but, your honor, 'nn ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.'" Judge "I see, I see. But you should have confined yourself to the ounce. I tine you ten dollars for prescribing modi fine without a diploma." Baltimore iifl (to young Mr. aldo, of Boston) "Are yon addicted to the habit of cigaictte smoking. Mr. Waldo?" Mr. Waldo (at a loss for raething to say) "Well er really. Miss Terrapin, I ah am ashamed to J that I do occasionally, only occa Jionally, y know gnioke "them." jy-auimore Girl-"Vell. I wish yon g ould give me one. Mr case is auiu emnlv" ik r....i -Hie 1 flexibility of the Enslisb. 'aniTUara ia alin,i.-n In k. - ! Jnshntan to a man who sought refuge his shanty in a heavy shower and, andmg it boUt M wet inside as out, m: m"You have quite a pond on the Door." ..yj,,. hure we i,4Te M llk in the root" CARL DUNDER'S TALE. The Old Oentleman Telle The Iiutruotlre Story of German Mleer. Shildron. maype you haf noticed how many burdocks vhas growing In der gardens und all arouudt on der fields. Eatery pody chops him down und pulls him oop, but he comes pack next year all der same, und he vhas soocu a nuis ance dot H.'ople4 get uiHdt und shwenr. 1 shall now tell you dor shtory of how dot burdock come aboudt Vhell, once upon somotimos a man lit near Bremen, in Shormany. Ho vhas an oldt man und he vhas a miser. Ho goes hungry und in rags, nnd ho shlerpi on der floor und doan' euro how mooch his pones acho. Ho vhas worry, worry rich. Ho can buy oudt our city hall und haf some money left. He lends money at twenty percent, inter est, und ho turns poor peoples oudt doorund vhas so hardt in his heart dot eatery body hatos und vhas in fear of him. Now, I toll you. shildron, it vhns no good to spend all your money und pri"goop in der poor-house vhen you vhns oldt und foeblo; but nnpody likes a man who vhas so stingy dot he goes hungry und rigged. It vhas shust ash wicked to bo stingy as extravagant Vhcll, to go on, dot rich oldt miser has a burdook grow in his garden. It vhas dor only one anypody eafor boos in Shormany, und der peoples bolict dot dor leaves vhill t ure all diseases. One day a poor womans mit a sick shild come to dot place, und bogs und pleads mit der old rower for one leedle leaf to euro her shild. Does ho gif it to her? No! Ho vhants money, und if she enn't pa', dot shild may die. Der poor womans cries und sobs, but it vhns no goot, und so she falls on her knees by dor roads'do und begins to pray. Pooty soon a leodlo old mans comes oudt of dor bushes und says: "How vhas dis? Who makes you weep und po sorrowful?" "Dot old miser wont gif mo some hnrdock to safe my shild s life," she tells him. "Oh ah I see! Money vhns of more waluo dan human life, vhas she? Und wo haf only one burdock, und she vhas in dor hands of amlsor! Womans, wait a leedlo bit" Und ho goes py dor gate und holds oudt his arm so. und says: "Hoky-pokey! presto shango! Let all der monev in dis house turn into bur docks!" And, shildron, shust as true as I vhas here pi'fore you all, dot money come running ondtdoors, nnd vhas turned into big and leodle burdocks, und der poor womans shtops on 'em as she vlia'ks home. Dot oldt miser gifs ono big yell und falls deadt, und dot vhas der last of him. So you now seo why burdocks vhas so plenty und money so scarce, und you may peliove he vhas all right Eatery burdock comos from dot one, und dey grow all aboudt us dot der lesson of charity may eater pe before our miniir. Detroit Free Press. It Was All There. Tho jokor who makes a bad joke de serves to have it turned on him, as it very often is. A man who had dined at a restau rant was asked by the waiter what ho would have for dessert "You may bring mo baked apples and cream." "Y.s, sir." "Only let us have them without tho cream." "Yes, sir." "And without tho apples pleaso." "All right sir." Tho waiter disappeared, and soon returned with a plate on his salver, on which lay a spoon, and a little pow dered sugar. The customer looked surprised. "It's your baked apples and crenm. sir, without tho baked apples and with out tho cream," said tha waiter. The item figured on tho bill just the same, and the customer folt bound to pay it Youth's Companion. She Did Not Decline. Mrs, Basoom You wouldn't believe it Mrs. Tibbitts, to look at mo now; but when I was a girl about nineteen years old. I lost my appetite, and grew so pale and thin that everybody said I was going to fade away and die. Mrs. Tibbitts Indeed! andwhatwas t!ie matter with you. Mrs. Baseom Love. Mrs. Tibbitts Do tell! how did you ever recover? Mrs. Basoom Oh, it came around kind of natural like. You see, Joshua culled to see me one night looking nwful blue; and says he: "Mildred, folks say you're goin' into a decline." 'No. 1 niu't Joshua," says L "not it you'll have me." Tid-tiit. A Gentle Texas Pony. A greenhorn from New York wont to Alt Reaver's livery stable in San An tonio to hire a pony. When the ani mal was brought out the greenhorn objected. "f "I don't like that horse," he said. "What's the matter with him?" "Ha is the same one I had before. He is not gentle enough. He lifts up one end and then the other. He rocks up and down." Texas Silings. A Sensitive Nature. Mr. Waldo (coming from the min strels) Are you foi.d of negro min strelsy. Miss Breezy? Miss Breezy Well, n-no, Mr. Waldo, I can hardly say I am, such perfor mances I think, possess a certain luck of refinement that is rather trying to the finer nsibilities of one s nature; and, aside from that imvnyof the joke this evening had gray whiskers on tin in. A. I S THE DANISH HORN. A Remarkable Kella Nald to n a Oefluln Trumpet of Zloo. In tho royal museum of Copenhagen there is, and has been for more than two hundred and seventy-five yenrs, a golden trumpet ktiown throughout Denmark as tho "Danish Horn," with engraved emblems, comprising the sym IkiI of purity, the triple lily. It weighl is one hundred and two ounces nnd it measures two feet nine inches in length. This horn is said to be a gen uine trumpet of Zlon. The surround ing circumstances strongly sustain the position, and up to the present time there has not boon tho slightest scien tific doubt ns to tho genuineness of the relic The lily, as a symbol of purity, was generally carried in tho right hand by the vestal virgins of the tem ple; it also forms tho emblem on the "shekel," the Jewish coin. There are also discernablo tho much effaced re mains of what has the appearance of pomegranates, and traces of nn inscri) tioti which, as far as It can be made out is engraved in that kind of Hebrew characters known as tho Samnrian text. Tho emblems and Inscription may be easily nscountcd for and accept ed for the meaning of the word "Jeho vah." The trumpet was discovered by a termer's daughter, partly concealed in the ground, in 1630, in the diocose of Rypeny, Jutland. As to how it found its wey from Palestine to Denmark can only be conjectured at. It is accepted as a fact that the relic at one time was one of tho instruments nnciontly u.ed in Solomon's temple. Certain or naments, and esX'cially tho beautiful engraving near tho epening of the large end of the instrument forming a turreled border around its odgo.arothe mo6t convincing proofs for this posi tion. When Titus Vespasiauus, the youthful Romnn General, subjugated indaea and destroyed its temple, he took the renowned tables, tho seven branoh candlestick, the "Sacred Books" and the trumpets to Rome, whero they wore, with other trophies ol victory, carried iu precession through tho city in honor of the conqueror. Upon the arch of Titus those things wer sculptured and may bo seen in Rome in a fair stato of prosorvntion to day. The "Sacred Books" the vic tor presented to, Josephus Flavius the Jewish historian. Afterward, when Titus bocamo emperor of Rome, tho In Rtrmucn sand "tables of schew bread," by decree of the Senate and council of Rome, wore placed iu tho great temple of Jupiter. Botween tho fourth nnd sixth centuries Rome was overrun by hordes of northern barbarians. The city was taken, religion for the time dethroned, and temples, regardless of the sanctity, sacred or historical, were sacrilegiously plundered. After their retreat from Rome tho Vandals carried off with them tho spoils they had seized in the temples. This trumpet of gold which corre sponds in every particular with the trumpets sculptured upon the "Arch of Titus," was doubtless carried to the north with tho other plunder and in turn lost by tho conquerors of Rome, who had taken it from the conquerors of thd Jews. Another illustration of the old adage, that "History repeats itself." Earth. NAPOLEON'S WEALTH. Absolute Disappearance of On of the UrraleHt 1'ernniial Fortunes. One of the most remarkable historical incidents of this century wns tho disap pearance of Napoleon I.'s enormous fortune. In 1810 ho was far and away tho richest individual iu tho world. Ho came out of tho Italian campaign end ing h 1800 with $1,000,000, according to bis o.vn account This ho main tained was his private projwrty. Tak ing tho statements ho made to his friends nnd others at St Helena he must have hidden away when he left Franco tho last time the enormous sum of $10,000,000, or 200.000,000 francs. This would ninko him very much the wealthiest man in tile world, for that sum then was equal in inilucnco to 1200.000,000 now. No sovereign of his time could begin to approach him in personal fortune. Marshal Souk, the iast of the Imperial Marshals (who died in November, 1851, just about a year bcfor his groat antagonist the duke of Wellington), told a. venorable French general officer, who repeated it to tho w riter, that when the Emperor went to Elba ho had 60.000,000 francs covered up in Paris alone. Of the $12. 000.030 hard cash paid over at one timo by tho United States to Na poleon as First Consul in 1803 it w. common rumor not very general, you may be sure, however that 7.C00.0O0 francs of the sum wns never necouuted for iu vouchers. This might easily have been. Napoleon wns then First Consul for life. He could do just what he chose and nobody dared call hiin to account It is not very difficult to hide money in large sums, too, so it can not be found, be .the search ever so careful. Ferdinand Ward has some millions thus covered up. and no human being has ever yet found a clew to the stolen treasure. It was said and believed by many people, too, that Stephen Girard, of Philadelphia, had a large sum in his hands' belonging to Napoleon 1., which he would have handed over to him h.td he succeeded in getting away to tho United States after Waterloo, as he tried to da Louis XVI 1 1., through his Minister of Finance, did all in his power to discover this hidden treasure, but those who knew would never tell. They probably took it themselves when the Emperor died in 1821. But it is a very interesting and romantic story, the disappearance absolutely of the greatest fortune in the world history up to that time, leaving not a trace bwiiuJ. Wasliington Herald. WOOD PULP PAIlyS. j Row Serviceable tiooda Are Mrtde of In. durateil Fiber. Durnblo, serviceable and economical pails are nm.mg the numerous useful articles now manufactured from wood pulp. The pulp pail is in ono piece and has no hoops. It is light and never leaks or falls to pieces. It is made as follows: The wood, preferably spruce, although any soft, fibrous wood will answer, is first cleared of its bark and cut to a length uniform with tho grind stone to bo used, generally sixteen to twenty-four inches. It is then placed ag linst tho faoq of a rapidly revolving grindstone, the grain of the wood being In a line with or parallel with tho axis of tho stone, and a hydraulic or worm screw piston keepJrg the wood con stantly pressed against tho stone Tho result which is washed off the stone by a shower of water, utter being screened of slivers nnd sawdnst is n milky white liquid. With tho water sufficiently ex tracted this is the wood pulp used in I lie manufacture of paper and Indurated fiber vftiro. Tho process of manufacture of the ware froia tho pulp is exceeding ly simple and is similar in all the lines in ado. In nuking a pail the machino for first molding tho pail from the pulp is provided with a hollow perforated form of cast iron, shaped like the inside of a pail, and covered first with perfor ated brass and then with fine wire cloth. This form, workeiLby n hydraulic piston, is pushed up into a large cast iron "hat," which fits over it cry tightly. Within this hat is placed a flexible rublx'r bag, nnd between this and the inner form first mentioned is admitted tho pulp, still in a liquid stnte. The pulp beinjf pumped in under pressure, tho water immediately begins to drain off through tho wiro cloth and perfora tions, and tho rubber bag swells until it till J tho hat Tho supply of pulp is then shut off, and water under high pressure is admitted within the hat and outside tho rubber bag, thus squeezing much of tho water from thd pulp. After standing some eight to ton min utes tho pressure is shut off, the inner form lowered, and tho pulp-pail re moved. At this stago tho pail is still nearly fifty per cont wator, but is sufficiently strong to allow handling. This uater is first all dried out in dry kilns, and thou tho pail is 'urnod off on the outside with a gang of saws. Alter sandpapering inside and out tho pail is ready for tho treatment house, whero it is charged with a water-proofing comiund, which permeates thorough ly tlw material of which the pail is in idn.' Baking in ovens at a high tem perature succeeds each dip or treat ment. The polish which the goods present is described ns being the result f tli u final treatment After this the handle .art riveted on the goods, which are thou ready for the market Mechanic. FACTS ABOUT LICORICE. Wher the Root Is Obtained and How It Is I'repnred for Market. "It; Is almost nn impossibility." said a well-known pharmacist recently, "to tell how much licorice is really , con sumed by people in tho city of New York. The amount is almost incredi ble, und probably reaches thousands of pounfls annually. "How is tho drug obtained," was asked "A species of licotico U found on the shoru of Lake Erie, though a good deal comes from further West Tho plant from which It is obtained is called glyryrrhizo. It prows very orect to tho height of about lour or live feet and has few branches. It bears n flower formsd like that of a pea, but of a vio let ov purple color. Tho root iu its raw mile is well known as tho "licorice root" of commerce. It attains a length of several feet nnd is often an inch in diameter. When the root has attained the age of throe years It is taken vp nnd from this, before it becomes dried, is made the extract of licorice, some times known as Spanish licorice. This juice is prepared by boiling the root with water; tho decoction is then de canted off nnd evaporated to proper consistence for forming the substance Into (ticks five or six inches long and an inch in diameter these are tho Spanish licorice of commerce." "Is'not the article adulterated?" "Yes, it is often nothing else than a mixture of tho juice with the worst kind of gum nrabic. Metallic copper scraped off the evaporating pans is very frequently present and starch nnd flour sometimes constitute nearly one half of the substance." .M Y. Mail und Exfirisn. Jones Paid the Money. In Providence are two men who look very much alike. and who maybe called Jones and Johnson. Jones is a rather influential member of a congregation presided over bv a new pastor, who. soon after his installation, started out with n subscription paper in a worthy cause. He met Johnson on the street, 'Oh, my dear Mr. Jones," said he. "I have been told that you are interested in this cause. I hope that you will give freely." ' Certainly," said John son, v.-ho was quick-witted. "Put me down for one homii ed dollars." Days passed and Jones didn't send the money; so the parson called at his office, and said that he'd be glad to have the money. ' "Whnt money?" asked Jones. "Why the one hundred dollars that you subscribed." Jones couldn't remember any such subscri tion, but he did remember that almut that time he was ou a quiet nnd very priva'un spree. Conbl he have met the pastor then and subscribed? Possibly, nnd so, rather than confess his weak ness to his pastor, he paid the one hun dred dollars. Johnson soon told of his share in the joke, but he refuses to ac cept Jones's suggestion and pay him lifty dolLo-. II l Sun. ETIQUETTE OF KISJ1NQ. Conditions I'nder Which Modern Society I'ermlU Oerulatlon. Kissing is out of stylo. Nobody ' it now but sweethearts, young chill ren and teachers. The first blow was struck by the medical profession about tho timo of tho decease of PrimC'ts Alice. Ever since the practice has been denounced, and in families where proper respect h paid to hygiene child ren are htrongly cautioned against prombouous kissing. In society a woman is not kissed twice in a season. When an old friend is greeted nnd sho advances with her lips tho victim turus her face and the caress falls askance. Possibly the very woman who is opposed to the practice takes the Initiative, but her lips never meet lips. Sho may kiss within a frac tion of vour mm ih kiss your ehin, your cheek or your forehead; kiss your "eyelid into repose, or kiss your hair but if she had nny training socially she will never kiss your mouth. . The repugnance to kissing is due largely to academic training. In nearly all tho famous collegos for wo men there is a special teacher or doc tress in physiology, and in Uie so called oral recitations the pernicious effects of osculation are considered at great length. By way of tolerating what seems to bo a necessary evil vari ous theories are advanced and various provisions advocate!. Tho girl who comes fmm Smith College, Northamp ton, kisses on tho obliquo lines that fall from the left corner of your mouth, but when kissed is so adroit in the way she jerks her head that the point of salutation may bo found on a radius from the right of her demure little mouth. The Vassar graduate kisses more than her Smith College friend, but LSe chin Is her choice, as you will observe in an attempt to salute her. The wnlors from Wellesley press their kisses high up on tho face, almost un der tho sweep of the eyelash, and tho Lako Forest nnd ' Harvard Annex maidens kiss at a oiut equally distant from tho nose and ear. , Nothing is more dainty than the kiss of a well-bred chaperon, who, mind ful of tho time nnd trouble spent over tho powder-box. gently presses her Hps on. your hair just north of your car. Tho minister's wife is another sweet soul who knows where a kis9 will do the least harm, nnd her favorite method Is nn nir kiss, with tho gentle pressure of her cheek to your cheek. The wo man of fashion, who patronizes you and lets yon visit her while sho is at her siesta, kisses you any where about tho triangle between the eye, ear and hair line. She learned long ago about tho incompatibility of hi,ste and grace, and as she advances yon seo her Hps tarn in, and simultaneously with tiro kiss Is a thick, viscous noise that sounds like the tearing of a middle-aged taarsb-ninllow drop. Efioch. A Young Girl's Mania. In ne ot the vicinity towns there is a voting girl, about twelve years of ago, nflllc'eJ with. a strange mania. Sho is large for her age, of fine phy sique, oisessed of good feature', and more than ordinarily prepossessing. Sho is rolxtst in health and shows great activity, and is unusually smart nnd intelligent with the exception of this taaniiu Every night about eight o'clock she will go to a neighbor's liousi) to borrow a lantern. Each time she will make a new excuse for doing so. It she succeeds in getting the lantern sho then tnkei long walks. She d m i not confine herself to the public highway, but wanders about tho fields and frequently to the woods. She dous not stem to know what fenr is, either of man or beast Sho frequently perches herself upon a fence and sits there a long time, dangling her lan tern. About ten o'clock sho returns homo nnd goes to bed contented. Her friends, of course, object to these lan tern strolls, and sho has to steal away. Those of her neighbors who know about them refuse her a lantern. She hits a number of times greatly fright ened persons, which seems to please her amazingly. She U in no respect wayward, but se-)ms possessed of u strange and fiscinating mania for a lantern. Danbury (Conn.) Newt. Origin of Some Words. Mercy nnd commerce are from the same root. Attach nnd attack are etymologicully identical. Valet u.-eJ to be written vaslct from Tinsel, vas sallet Pontifjx probably meant orig inally a pnthniaker. Skeptic original ly hnpliud merely nn observer, thence an enquirer, doubter, unbeliever. Idea, that which is seen, idol, a little image, alittlo statue, a little "that which is seen." Wjsencre.Old Dutch wisesegger, soothsayer, German wisesager, wise s.iyer, weissagon, wizagon. Pabulum is from the Aryan root pa, through the latin, and food is from the same root through the Teutonic language. Pas ture and fodder are from the same rool through the two channels. Button Journal of Education. Story of the Dahlia. Nn flower of the garden blooms more profusely and beautifully this fall than the dahlia. The plant was foum originally in Mexico, and was similar to the single-jietaleil specimens now popular. A plant was sent to Madrid in 1788, where it was seen in blossom by ths Abtie Ciivamlles, who named A After bis friend. Prof. Dahl, of Stock holm. In 1804 Humboldt went to Mex ico, and sent to Europe seeds of the wild dahlia, nnd from bis seeds the plants now grown universally descend ed. By degrees it doubled and sprouted till it became tho perfect flower we now tnjvy.HtiringJidd Union. PERSONAL AND 1IMPERSONAU One (f the brightest looking little school-tioys iu Washington is a soa ot a secretary of tho Chinese legation. The young mandarin wears a magnifi cent costume, Oriental in character, and with his school-books under his arm forms a striking and interesting picture, lie lias understood hmrlndi only a year, but is making rapid pro gress in his education. On the farm of Harrison Loring in Duxhurv, Mass., there was recently found a curious modal. It is appar ently of pewter, about nn eighth of aa inch greater in diameter tlian a silver dollar, nnd around the rim in Roman letters a quarter of an inch high is the nseription "Gloria in Excelsia. 16.13." A circle incloses a draped, winged figure, whose right hand holds a sword, the left a torch or mace. The reverse Is plain. Editor Twitehell, of Gorhnm, K. II., owns a spinning wheel with a bit of history, Eighty-Jive years ago Mr. Twitchell's grandfather went to Frye- bing. Me., on horseback to try to tirei a wife, and led behind him a second horse on which to bring her home should ho be so fortunate ns to find a bride. Mr. Twitchell's grandmother rode lnck on tho horse, with the spin ning wheel tied on tho beast's back be hind Iter. A man well known In St Louis ha. the doctors say, a heart forced to tbsu right side nnd greatly displaced, and tho liver to tho left The lungs ar compressed and the stomach badly crowded, but the ribs and sternum be ing firmly set the position is perma nent He has been so since boyhood, nnd, Villi tho exception of his irregu lar form, is a perfectly healthy man. Const mptiotior pneumonia would be sure death, they say. A Maine sailor played a mean trick on a shark one day not long ago. The tiger fit the sea had been following the boat for several days and existing the .garbage thrown overboard, and tha sailor decided to have some fun with him. He took a largo piece ot lime and throw it at tho fish, which greedily gulped it down. The lime nt onoe be gan to slake, nnd the shark after thrashing about in terrible agony fee s few minutes, turned over and died. lir. Blaine's wonderful nkemnry for names as well as face is woll known, and he declares , that he cultivated the habit in early life by always indexing nlpliabotlonlly all names, so that when he meets face he recognizes the initinl always comes tip in his mind and aids him to recall the patronymic Sometimes he can not recall the names, and theabe contents himself with addressing ths gentleman by his initial until be secures Uie name by some casual re mark. . Pope Leo XI II. derives his revenue from three sources. One is the interest of tho vast sum left by Pius IX. is ths Pontifical treasury. Invested chiefly 1st English consols. This interest amounts to about (625,000 a year. Another source is the Peter's pence contribu tion, which, in spite of the very great reduction in lnte years, avcragos about 415,000 annually. The third source is the Apostolic Chancery, tho receipts of which include sums received for titles and decorations, privileges of the altar, private chapels, etc., nnd aggre gate About $520,000 a year. Tha sa tire annual ineomo of Loo XIIL, there fore, Is about $1,560,000. 1 Without adversity a man hardly knows whether he is honest or not Field ng. It 'matters not how much intelli gence one may claim, if he does net show it he will pass for a nobody. Unless the diamond possesses the necessary number of karats the yonnjj woman now-a-days is apt to turnip her nose. Give your growing boy a yeast cake when he goes to bed at ni"ht it you want hint to rise early. SotntnrilU Journal. Gratitude is the viitue most defied and desorted. It is the ornament el rhetoric and the libel of practical life. J. W. Forniu. DYSPEPSIA Up to a few weeks ago I considered myself the champion Dyspopeto of Amnrloa. Daring the years Chat I have been afflicted I have tried almost everything clalmel to be a specific for Dyspepsia In the hope trf nulling something that wooM aflhnl liermanent relief. I hud abont made up my mind to abandon all medi cines when I noticed au endorse meat of Himmons Liver Itrfrulstor br a prominent Georgian, a jar let whom 1 knew, and concluded to try its effects lit my case. I have used bat two bottles, and nra nnttBfled tha I have struck the light thing at laflt. 1 felt Its beneflolal effect abrnost Im mediately. Unlike all other prepara tions of a similar kind, no spartaA instructions are required as to what one shall or shall not eat Thla fact alone ought So oommend It to ait troubled with Dyspepsia, J. N. UOLME8, Vlneland,X.J. COrJSTIPATKQal Te fteenre a BeguUr Habit el Besly without changing the Diet er Bln ergvnlilng the Hyitem, take jDHIONS LITER RESULiTCH mlt GENUINE mrvnamtM n J. H. ZEILM A CO.. Phi! ataxia.