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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 29, 1887)
EUGENE CITY GUARD. JL L. CftJUFB&LL, EUGENE Cm, OREGON. SALI-WAftH Day. Aft Old Maw Juney rentlral Thai la Rap idly otoij( Out. Thecuitom of observing; 8a1t-water Aay is so old that it Is supposed to be oiuaicn origin; but long before the DuUh came to New Jenny the State jn wmcu mo any Is celebrated the In dian had a custom which might very wen nave iiirnisncu the model. It is a fact established lu history that the Now rforaey Indians were in the periodical habit of assembling In the neighbor- noouoi mo salt water for the purpose vi iBiytun-j upon oysters, and the gath ering and eating of oysters was ono of the hicf features of Salt-water Day ob served among tho Monmouth County farmers in later years. Before oysters becamo private property, and whon there were natural bods of them along the Jersey shore, farmers liv ing within twenty or thirty miles felt a keen ovs- i ter hunger about the first of every Au gust, and on Salt-water Day, which oc curs at this season, the beds were made to tufTcr. They Kudered so much that tho Hew Jersey Legislature linally passed a law refraining poople from taking oysters by any means except tho un Bupplemented feet and hands, so that for several years previous to the time when oysters ceasod to bo public pro erty tho farmers on Salt-water D.tv could obtain this delicate food only by treading" it; that is, by working the oysters from tho bottom, and skillfully "ringing mom w the surface with thei toes. South Amboy used to bo a favorite place of gathonng on Salt-water Par, iiu no laieiy as nve years ago as many mawue iiuimrou uint-top wagons brought 1 - !...! 1 I m - . a j u wieir mans or people from tho back Jymg larms to assist in this culebration At bouth Amboy the festivities an lis . euncinuixi in a single day, but at ether places and notably at Point i leasani, or &ea Uirt, as it is now ailed, a part of the villugo of ounan uiree days are devoted to them. Of course at thpso festivals at the edge of the una there have come to toe ether Joys than the ji.y of eatin ysU:rs. Uatliing, dancing and miscel laneous feasting aro to be reckoned among the delights of Salt-wator Dav. J mire are stores of cold fowl, sand wiches, home-made pies, cider and pink lemonade, and some of tho wagon-tops ni nun on irom a keg or a domi- jnn 01 appio-jaek. Tho bathing suits worn by the farmers and their wives ml daughters are home-made, the amo as the pies, and are commendable lor meir comfort aud serviceability rather than their fit. But tho observance of Salt-water Pay Is not what it used to be. Rail fowls have brought the sea and the . oysters nearer to the farmers, and the eases, for the celebration is largely gone. The colored people still observe the day with considerable fervor at Long Branch, but the festival. snoallm generally, Is one which is rapidly sroiii HIlL A,-.,-..'. IB-.!.!.. ROYAL SALARIES. What Europe I'ara Annually far Mala talnlng lu MuuarahliM. A tablo recently prepared shows the royal salaries paid in Europe, and it tonus interesting reading for those who have nn idea that our own Government is conducted on a wasteful and extrav agant plan, and who think, as somo of the Kearneyites used to asserl, that no man ought to get moro than $3 a day. I ho hmperor of Russia receives tH, 250,000 per annum; tho Sultan of Tur key, $0,000,000; the Kmperor of Aus tria, U.000,000; tho Kinjr of Prussia, f.3,000.000; tho King of Italy, $2,400,- uw; tho yueen of England, $2,200,000; the Queen of Spain, $1,800,000. and tho King of tho Belgians, $.500,000. V hat a sermon against monarchical government this brief table contains? Eight persons, men and women for Kings and Queons aro nothing more- receive each year in tho aggregate ijU, 000 for doing what? For (lo ng nothing that hundreds mar bo thousands of their subjects could not Uo Just as well and possibly much bet ter. Some of tlleao monarchs cet their alanes for doing really nothinsr. Queen Victoria, for example, has abso lutely no function to perform except to represent in her royal person tho idea of dominion and sovereignty.. Slio has no part in the government of tho country. Tho most irrepressible Irish member of Parliament does more and has moro to say about ruling tho em piro than Victoria has; and vet be cause she is what slio is, the mere eldo- on of a bygone autocracy, her lovin? subjects pay her over $2,000,000 every year for her own use and benefit. The King of Prussia receives $,1,000.- 1)00 a year as compensation for his arduous royal duties; and when it is considered that he is the Emperor of Germany, that ho is a man over ninety years of age, and that the reins of Government have beou for years in tho hands of Bismarck, it must be ad mitted that. Judged by republican standards, he does not earn his sal- HARD OF COMPREHENSION. Wife tha CHINA'S WEST POINT. How Military Caiteta ara Kriueaud a h riowarr Klugd.m. Nearly throe years ago the Chinese Government, at tho Instii'iuinn r n Hung Chang, decided to establish an aca.icmy lor forming a staff of well instructed nativo officers. With ary. Probably the Cinr of Russia performs as much or moro actual labor than any reigning sovoroigu in Europe. The form of Government of Russia beino- ospotism, the Czar must noceSsarilv center all authority in himself and be, in fact as well as name, tho fountain and sourco of all authority. But even for his duties, irksomo. multitWi..ii and difficult though they may bo, $,250,OO0 is more than they are worth! especially in view of the (hum. Mill pnn. dition of Russia and tho immense drain upon her resources. me people of tho United Snf. thought they wore doinc a wonil,.rf,.l tiling when they Increased tho Presi dent's salary from $25.00., to 8. nni. and yet the larger amount is enly a trifle over two days' salary of the Em peror of Russia; while at tho same timo the United States is better able to pay ho President tho Czar's sularv tl.,. Russia Is to par tho Cur M. P,,.;. ent's salary. 1 Royalty Is simply an enormously pensive luxury, with nothing to roo menu it except trad tion ami ..,.. out, and the only wonder is that it can keep its hold solium- and progressive nations in this ago of the world. San Francisco Chronicle. ex- Olll- Mr. McDuffy DmUina to llli Dutire of Jury. "When are they ever going to ge through with that conspiracy case, Sir. McDuffy P" asked his wifo, as ho sat dowu to dinner the other evening. "Get through, with it?" said Mr. McDuffy, In surprise; "why.it has been over lor two weeks." Has It, indeed," said she. "What did they do?" ' "Nothing," ho replied, t'tho Jury hung." iou aon i say so; and I never heard of it before. I thought all tho timo they were going to hang the con spirators. Who hung the Jury?" "They hung themselves, woman," growled McDuffy." How dreadful! Did they hang each other or commit suicide?" . "Thunder and lightning! Can't you understand any thing?" rosred Mc Duffy. Oh, don't bo profano. dear: I'vo read all the headlines fn the newspa pers, and have been so interested in tho case, you know, but I don't quite understand tho law. If you would only tell mo about it" Well, then," explained ' her bus- I band, "Jurors are composed of twelve men who are selected with great care. They must bo unacquainted with the enso so that they may bo able to ren der an impartial decision. They are placed in tho box" "In tho box? What kind of a box?" ..T- .1 , . ... . in uie jury oox. Uul you suppose it was a band box or a match box?" "Do they box them separately or" tThey pack them in oil liko sar dines," said McDuffy, savagely, "and when you take them out you 'soueeze iomo lemon juice "Now don't get sarcastic, Mr. Mc Duffy. I understand the boxing part of it; go on please." "Well, after they have listened to evidence and pleading and have been charged by tho1 Judge" "Why I thought it was the lawyers who did tho charging," interrupted bis wife, "Will you keep quiet? After alio charge is delivered, they are locked up" itT ,...1. ...1 f mi , uiii-ki-u up; jnoso innocent men that didn't know any tiling about it locked up? No wonder they killed uiomseives, poor things." "Groat heavens!" gasped McDuffy. "There, there, dear, don't swear. I'll not say another word, I under stand it perfectly. Its just like men; wo menu things, homo of them got mad because McGariglo got out of a bath-tub. Say, Mr. McDuffy, what lias a bath-tub got to do with a there, Jon't swear, 1 understand it, but lust wait untK tho women make the laws. We'll just hang I mean we won't hang I mean Mr. McDuffy, I wish you would bring mo two spools of white thread and a yard more of cross barrod jaconet for baby's dress. Here, little twootsy-wootsy, kiss papa before ho noes." Indianapolis Sentinel LIGHT WEIGHT COINS. THE OMINOUS OPAL, JOSH BILLING' BAGGAGE Tha rceullar SMASHING. or this jojoct tho Brat body of Chinese (mints were brought together and installed in the office of the admiralty at Tion-Tsiu This was in March, 1884,' and very soon fu-rward the construction of a sepa rate building for them was commenced. This is now completed, mid It is to serve s the model of similar buildings, one v ..inch in u, uo erected in the capital of each of the eighteen provinces. The academy of Tien-Tsin Is situated on tho I'oibo, and occupies a space of more than six hundred square yard. It j excellently adapted to tho requiretnent.s of such a building, while its architect ural appearance is in harmony with theloralsurroundings. Besides a lar-'o number of reception and dining rooms and the dormitories, there mn f.,,,- irreai lecture halls, two largo saloon a room fnr mllitm-u .......... . auowier lor Jhotographical work, and a third for rri.iung, iwo chemistry halls, mid an pannient tor drawing. Tho buildim is rapauio ol accommodating three -unure.1 students and tho administra- thi liiiM.li.m ... . o " encamped under tents a considerable body of Infantry and artillery. At tho head of tho corps of the cadets is a Chinese otllcer. the Taotai Yang Tsung Pan. His colleague j nowever, Major Paull, of the Ger na ixilll - n '"ery. me masters and In- , -,orV " '"r'in officer, -....jr ueriuaus, and the system of .fining is borrowed from tho Gorman. iue sons or the upper classes are alone admitted belweon tho ages of fourteen nd fifteen.. At first this rule was not Wrved, and there was one Instance X! t"'ng as old as thirty-five. Kaeh student 1. expected to remain four years in the general class, where lie is taught Chinese, writing, foreign languages, geography and natural cienee. After the termination of this preliminary course he Is transferred for a year to one of the school com panies attached to the corps. H0 then erres fr a year with tho regular rmy, and finally returns to the Military school for a year's instruction la military science. After Pa.nR fcis examination the cadet receives his ummission and joins one of the rei- mm oi me cuiottse Tima. nil Skillful K.ol..,i..n. Kx,iert Trunk-llandltira. But however secure and elaborato tne luxuriant army Chicago appointments f ti modern trunk ho goes out brand new from your home and returns, aftor a jaunt, with thu battered marks of war upon him. You look at him with despair and join your inspection with a naughty cxpletivo over that unprincipled trunk-smasher. But there is something to be said to his account that mitigates tho unchari table opinion of him. Standi. in ,, railroad center where steaming engines rush into tho station with treniblin-r haste, ono may observe tho trunk" "masher at his work, and stand in wonderment that ho executes his task so skillfully and yet with such little damage,- A breathless span of time is allotted him in which to hand down his pile of trunks, and to the minute the work is done. All around him is me roar oi a smiting, steaming world -eiuoarKin and disembarking in ox citlng speed-ami the only man that stands cool at his plaoo in tho midst of this seething Babylon, is tho expert baggage-master. To be a trunk-handler ono must be an expert, None hut men of peculiar fitness are stationed at the great rail road exchanges. A greenhorn can at once be detected. He tackles a trunk with bungling awkwardness, 1,0 ru,, it with pulling labor, falls over it aud tilts and drops it a score of times. To watch anexpert unloading a train von will observe how his ne hand rests upon one corner and the other upon the side. Ho lands the trunk on the uoor, never upon any corner, alwavs on the full end. Tho corner Is tiio .iH MnK point even of mii iron-clad. He most dexterously hurls it til ii kiilal with the ease of a toy, and in an instant hurls another after it with the grace and ose of a ball idnrer. Ho fers a largo trunk to a small one-it Is better to handle. The wrecking Is never done by the exm-rL l, i n... hundreds of trunks at the great con fluences of railroads, It I. dona l. .k- small frys of tho least work-and Par- uiarly by tho inexiriin.! of road expresses. -fl,,W;mi JYm. ICELANDIC GEYSERS. An Explanation of Their Oerurrenoe Which lit Worth? of Nctlco. Roy. Mr. Metcalfe, in his book on Iceland, gives an account of the goy rs of that country, and adds an ex planation of their occurrence which is worthy of notice. II3 pitched his tent within twenty yards of tho Great Gey ier, but as that was only, bubbling and boiling, without nn exposion tosend up a column of water, he removed to a smaller spring called the iStrokr. "So we proceed," says ho, "to tills opting, which is ono hundred paces louth of the Great Geyser, and. al though it has no cone, but rises from the flat, is the more picturesouo of tho two. Forthwith we collect hnndf uls of turf and stones, mid throw them into the Strokr's pipe; but nothing seemed to move him, The waters below grunted and snarled liko a baited badger, but were not to bo drawn. in the sulks,' said 1, laughingly, :s I stood with my back to tho orifice.' " 'Here ho conies!' shrieked one of llio party, as I heard n hiss like a rocket disengaging itself, from its stick. 'Rush for your life!' and rush I did; but, my foot catching, down I fell " 'Boiled alivo,' was my instantan eous thought. -The soothing waters will descend and overwhelm mo.' And so they would have done bad not tho wind been from my side of the spout, and carried the waters in the other di rection. What a eight! A column of turbid water, never ending, still begin- uiuis into uio air at least ono hundred feet, bearing along with it nil mo unwaoiesoiiio food w t 1 wlil.-h Ad Ancient Haw Uhli'h PromnU Thais from lialna; Iiadaenied. ' "When is five dollars not five dol lars?" was the conundrum hurlod at tho head of a reporter'by Edwin L. Abbett Ho is a well-known attorney, active In poll tea, aud the brothor of ex- Governor Leon Abbett, of JNew Jersey. When tho reporter had confessed that ho was Ignorant enough to believe that five dollars was always five dollars, ho replied: "Not if it Is light weight. Let mo tell you a story of my ex perience with a Gve dollar gold piece. Mind you, it was a gold piece the coin of the realm. It hud been given me by a client, with a number of other pieces and some paper money. I don't know at what bank he procured it, but I know that he went to some bank to get tho cash for mo, and returnod with this piece among others. The banks pay them out, but they don't take them in when they kuow it, as I found out later. There is a restaurant near ray placo of business where I have little business transactions occasional ly with the proprietor or the man be- ind tho counter. During the day this five dollar gold pieco went over tho counter. Tho handsome young man with the white apron balanced it in his palm for a minu'.e and then handed it back, saying: 'It's light weight sir, we can t pass them.' I was staggered. I thought a five dollar gold piece was good for something for its intrinsic value at least But after satisfying myself that it was light weight I put it back, into my pocket ami paid the bill out 01 other funds. It occurred to mo that I ought to' test tho passing qualities of tho coin nt least once more, so I tried it at the cigar store on my way up Broad way. It was no go. Then I sallied into the Park National Bank. I told the cashier frankly that I understood the coin to be light weight, and asked luui to gtFe me its value. 'We can't do any thing with it,' said he. But he suggested that I might be relieved at the sub-Treasury. By this time 1 was somewhat mud, and I determined to follow that ivc-dollar gold piece to some kind of a resting-place if it took all day. At the T reasury there was less encouragement than any place I had yet entered. They said they could not exchange it or redeem it or do any thing with it This struck mo as a strange condition of th:ngs. As I went along Nassau street in a brown study my eye happened to light on tho sicrn of an oflice on John street There is an announcement there that old gold will bo bought. I walked in and held out the coin. 'It's short weight' was all I said. 'So I see,' said the man in attendance, as ho held it in his hand. 'What can you de with ItP' 1 asked. Melt it' was his reply. He g:lve me K70 for it the value of the gold. Cu- uosity possessed nio to know what would be done with it He said the gold would be used for manufacturing purposes. Then it struck mo that there somewnere on tlio statute books an iron-clatl law that no United States coin shall be melted up for manufact uring purposes under heavy penalties. I looked the law up. There it is an aid law, very old. but I believe still in force. If I am correct about it, do you see the situation? Tho Govern ment issues a cold coin. Ir antra tf shall be of such a weight but it must necessarily get worn and abraded in eonstnnt circulation. Then it says it shall not be redeemable in any way, shall becomo worthless in circulation because it is not redeemable, and yet shall not be converted into any thing Blse. My gold piece bore date of 1 think on the wholo I prefer green backs to coin, especially short-weiaht coin. "-A". J' Ttibune. lluiiUioine I,.... ".. . A t,,- .,.,--"" It t. ' , 1 1: . .!.,! "o nasan aiif-ti.... . Iliuiciineii mriii v-nYB nor luiiu Wllllin I V r . """'OCT n ,l 1 4itj,r rnrirst.... '-w- A Jewulrr Kalmman's Chat About Thla llui h-Aliuil (ieiu. I Bis Interview ' The oikiI has come into fnshinr, 1 . - i t;ti ... . , . again so suddenly that Us value has I nA nior tlirif'y prtnn ' b"'', the past year. combi rounded wiin diamonds, there was such a prcjudieo against the opal that It had almost gone out of use previous to tho recent revival. It began to go out of fashion about fifteen years ago, and there are sensible women, who are not superstitions, but who frankly ad mit that they have a prejudice against opals. If tho fashion can maintain it self for the next year, it may dissipate tho popular prejudice and save one of tho prettiest jewols from obscurity. The opal is the jewel of October, so that according to populnr superstition, those born in that month are safe in wearing it I have heard many inci dents of opals, which no doubt were causes for tho loss of popularity, and the ascribing of bad luck by tho wear ers has no doubt deterred others from purchasing such ill-omens. There is a lady in tho city who has a full set oi opals and diamonds, ear-rings, breast pin, bracelets, rings and hat-pins, that is not t'uualed by any other set in the West She aviis once prosperous and lived in wealth, but intho last five years has had more misfortunes than usually befall one woman. Divorce, loss of fortune, followed quickly upon the other. She never wears her opals now, and it has been frequently re marked by hor friends that they were the cause of hor ill-luck. I know an other lady who ascribes misfortune to a beautiful opal ring which she keeps becauso it is an heir-loom, but will not wear it nor allow her children to wear it It was given to hor by her brother when on his death-bed, and upon her return to the city slio wore it The very first night tho water-pipes burst and caused a damage of several thou sand dollars. She had had a presenti ment when sho put on the ring that some thing was going to happen, and after that night she ceased to wear it Several years later her daughter put it on, ana a gentleman friend was so taken with its appearance that he asked to wear it What followed is considered remarkable. He hod been very prosperous, and had lately gone up like a rocket Shortly afterward he fell as suddenly. Ho returned the ring, having becomo a convert to the popular prejudice. Louis Globe-democrat. ast year. Although the prettiest thing,, ZoaX ination in jewelry is tho opal sur- hssaid huiimr..... .tohIK 1... 1 -is .i.. .1..." h.. mum ..- oj hisbumo'WN then,eritbo,,it07tt wing, and tglln to(lTV .uKiiizh, me tlui t, - "r u, UmthisTOuntrT'C we, but that be eu h.!." w I well off. uu"'THn11 well off. ""smw Now.JoBh Billing, WM profound rw.r fetUt, . "ong in a quaint .v i, '"'n Hi, mi. , Passunleibeyw-, no sense whatever in hi. , mey were not niia.nelUiTr't the Irish or Yankee du,tt dm arbitrary mi,' method. 1 "i H1 when he obtained some down to NeW York J5k humorists and see if tl,, i him after Ltt meiitaandmadeanaonnin,. booksellers Jobwite,r" hours, until lm r.,if .1... r UW tn out and came away a"? "J no more. ""., It was the same with a. tbeywe,-epx,r.craMW,to?t,,' KottuiR grnie out of men imZ JK u Bo Josh Billing, reJvU. humor in the bestway bel j himself to astory paper atl 4 proiiarod an alniAt.m. """ 1 - vuw a CHINESE BOOK-KEEPING. What la a A Race for Life. Mr. Injriis, n resident of Travancore, India, had a narrow escape from death the other day, having to run for his life before a rogno elephant The an mini was among a small clump of trees (lose to the jungle path by which Mr. Inglis had to pass. After a careful sur vey of tho "monarch," that gentleman dared to throw stones nt him. Tho uim one missed, and only caused the animal to cock its ears to catch tho slightest sound. The second went draighter and hit him right in the eve i ne eiepnnnt made a salaam-like mcnt with his with made move- trunk, accompanied a terrific roar f straight for bis n.i;i.. ... . ",,,uu" l'"- Mr. Inglis, however, was too clever for him, and ran very Uist but. in cii.1.1....!.. J . , ... u,...iiu,i nulling a cor- ' V 1 ' "ll;e ,ree' he tumbled and fell. The eleoli.ink x.-na i 1 - " tiusu on sz 1:1 - ; : xz . i n leaiura common to several of the Icelandic hot springs is pretty well understood. The pipe, which is iom-eigni teot deep, diminishes from mx feet, its breath at the top, to eleven inches at the bottom. The injected u, moiics aim other material acts ...u Buiiiuug 01 a safety-valve; the . nas not a proper vent; it collects rm.y , Ule subterranean chambers ".in mvu over the lounU n a A London bookneller I,... . lh ll,s.. .... ... ... : V'T.T " .-.iiimiu, nouuisonl'rn ich he describes as on ..f ,1, . .... . . I'" ' wnicn ne tolds it is ijiouc vpmtun. ine fsoa-l great deep until they are charged to """""S' , B"u eudaeuiy driving back . . Y'.'iiy encroaching waters. ."vj mi on ine obstruction, and rush into mid-air with tho velocity 0f 'a niissd from tho chamber of an Arm gun. and are often illumined, as v.. reseni occasion, by a beautiful aris. "And where does all the water come J-om? That too, is easy of explana turn. It is th- dainago of the hill, around, which, meeting heated' sur faces, gets to th-U.iling point and ex piates when it has a thauce.'-P' Illiu nun ii.a f.,f,,, i I , ."IIIIFU, HI- ready raised to crush him; but the an inul a head Wing caught at this in- Jan which had suspended itself from the branches aliove. he t,.,i .ming llr Inglis frifrhtened, but with no limb broken. The rogue is a b41'" wmr on tne mils jv. Sun. Could Do Some Thing f0P Her. "Tongue can not tell how much I jum, .Hiss uara," he "V.a UV aUy in ,ff D (ha..n.l.l 1.. J Visa "Would you," she asked, wearily. "Try me." J "Well, go and soen.l ti,- with Lillie Brown." u'8 'Lillie Brown! What for?" v, Mtonished. ' "I hate her, "-y. J. Sun. The tonjrue )uu- .v.t-i- ,, ,. . v I'iMsician he disease of the body; to a philoso Pher. tha li.c. .l. . ". ;i. ! V luo mina; to a Lhrist.iui. the disease of the souL-. owniyxji'w Juunmi St. Lonla lllerehant 8 letlar Countlue Koom. The Chinese book-keeper is a curios ity, as ho flourishes on the western const and around Portland, Ore, I was up around there recently, and with the idea of bringing home some Chinese curiosities, visited several stores and shops. Some of the biggest merchants m that country, you know, are Chinese, 1 vent into one small place where a lot of books were spread mn on a long counter, behind which was n Chiuaman, while behind a sort of a desk nt tho other end was another wearer 01 tho pigtaiL Tho books lookod to mo like almanacs, if the Chinese have such things, nnd, -w. ing up to tho counter, I turned two or three of thorn over, looking at them to satisfy myself as to what they were, though, of course, I couldn't have told if I had looked a year. The ink was still wet as if a hen with inked feet v.i ....mm- uiick ami iortn over them. This gave mo tho idea that I had strayed into a manufactory of Chinese almanacs, and noticin- the yellow-huod gentleman behind" tho counter looking nt me, I carelessly in quired: "How lmieheo, John?" He looked nt nio still, but without reply ing. "How m uchec, John?" I repeat ed; "want to buyeo. This time John's features changed. Ho actually sn-iled as he lephed: "Me 110 solle these bookee; me keepce countee, tt-llee how muiiiee iuenenn man owee." I had .uiuaiiy been trying to buy the man ru oooks. 1 don't know whether i c Mas me keeper of books for that en ire business portion of the city, but if ..v.- iiMi i ne mm books enough to have kept all of their accounts. Their svs- ; " ""..mi.v original, and different from that with which the English book keeper has to wrestle.-',, KU-lwl-on, in St. Louis ;h,e. Democrat. -., How He Received the News. A man covered with dust rushed into nicago business bouse, and, preaching the proprietor, s.ii.l, "My dear sir. do not bo excited, but prepare yourself to hear bad "What's the matter?" np- a.X lour who went out to see the ball fciuiie. yes." T ... .. . niu just irom th hnll r- a - . , - JL,l I'll HUB. fightful accident happened and" "And what?" 'My dear sir, your wife was killed -. earn me business man, "but now uoes the score stand?" tha't-""0'0118 aliV6 mn' 1 ,eU "Yes, I know all about that but I have a hundred dollars up on the Chi cagos and am very anxious to hear Ah here's the evening paper. Here, bub." Arkansaw Traveler. -"Mr. Tart I have written some verses on my dog; would you liko to hoar them " "Oh. don't trouble your self to read them, Mr. Muse.' Jll8t let me know what part of the dog thev ire written on. nnd I will visit the anel somo dav and m-,.1 ,1. i let Gazette and Courier. "Mr. Dusenberrv. I lu.nn t wandering in my mind." ..l)on-t Harmt-d, u:y dear; jou'Unot gtt lost" wav he rollwi nn " vuaQ k a year, and saved it and Wi J? W fe anil family -"'" I saw him i. . . . Dear nor in II,. v. . 1 i lonely man whom hard nrk u.r 1 lWirire.1 nf l.U . , " naL He said to me that U nHknf . .""" youth and eot nnthi,,. .L ir. . . ur "a k. ' is worm loo imh m Mill KM rnuin na w..l 1 .1 t. . WU1U lDl" 1 lltB tlinii llmlna . Ul unwinisufc. " wauunih. uiuiw piviwure; ana Lis collected worfa w avuro uiiiiiv BiMlUa Iliom n.. T,..,! ' --WWBk e - . Men with Fanny Fmi. "Queer customers! Wn i.v., m uiuauniiv HIIfhttmUlilH wl. ....... 6 ,a uuo jiiauy men m iittLjuiitii renown. "Ym .1, ucai tviiu "And ninnv finn v& a. m. -Wiiiie right. UnegentkmsnintB nnmmaw ... i. ... .... .. . . H ....v . wircuo HBflTerUM, lit k aauuion 10 Deine inrRe and flat, tank txy turn are garmslieu with big bow me most painful kind. Censeqwck wioes are uiaue to give plenty of m. PTnreBivTiivd ami I i . . unu..e au emtiossed map, with biliiul distinctly outlined." - w uai uoes such a pair ef shoes nn? Uf .' Ll t tl an. r.iguieu aouars. -iney are msiti n 1.1.1 . 1 ., . . uiiesi kiu, mn ana pnauie, and twopiin week. Bamuel J. TiWen was t good nf n ......... 1 . 1 uiuiwi mm. ue niMiideii to be minis ordered an elegant pair ef pumpa learner was speciully prepaml in Fnim ll,ITUff.ul tntt .I.a ...... .1. n. - I . . I iiiafi wu iui uo wiiiK, iue nam kt naa mum CAIJIIISIIV, BHQ 1118 DUIIin really a work of art; but although Mr. uiuii'c admire tlieiu he paid tbebill-f witiinut a murmur." "Did be take tne sboesi" -ino; so we iilnced tliem inenribiw uow, wueie tuey were much admired day a young swell came along, took i to tbem, pai.l $15 and carried off the They were the daintiest little pair oi we ever turned out." ii uuc are some or too anuoTUKtj have to contend withf "1 uoy aro so numerous vou would care to print them, but I w ill enunwnft Tew.- Anions the worst men we bivett snd suit is a Washiiirtoii market tut WlirWA l..r. fru.f la 1.. n.l . MM than the riyUt fc!onivtiiiu we have to three paim of boots for him before sniieo. -men we liave a Nixth avenue fertiouer wiio Las no toi-s on either In dont know liow he lost them horn tint I f auev but the fact remains that he m toes. Ho is a pretty tonsh man to W Another man in the eninlnv of tlieciiyr erniueiit lias the most monstrous great I ever saw Ir. twmi in ma tlievmot nearlv two and n half inrliM lonir. W out of all Dronortion to the other toea, neeessarilv h!a alinAa nm vt-rv Imnl tOUSU Jew lork Bun. Lord Rnpiptor .1lpct ann Carnni'von. fnmM nf nrra this week irw ' iiv 1 1 is? JUV ut vuv ' peers, as bis Income will exceed iM.M Dually. tvjrt i v r.T 1 1 B1LK0USHESS To a n T I -V . T.IVA1 ani CSB ba tkomvi ni r that Oraw Beguiator ef the Liver aa Biliary Ortraas, SIMMONS LIVER REGULATOR HAKPTACTCRO IT J if tttt r a ra nn-iAehiUi. Pt mm f m VVaf m lllMiwr' ' I was aflllrte4 for sewed yr!tA tlsanaewe liver, which rsulelj severe auark af jBtina'icc. I . medical attendaare as uf " tira affurda, wha falM DtieflyW i More aie ! the nTieiit W feraier kealU. 1 lk fivorile areseriptMa af t tf renwne4 paytrfrlaiH af If viUe, Ky., ant la na arpe: irpan I waa liduced ta irr Liver RecnlMlr. ItonndtaB diai aeneflt fr&iB it oae, and It bio mately restored a U tbe full W wcu, ui uuaiin. A. a SHTJOET. BicBMai' HEADACHE Vda frvaa a Tarpid Ltrer "'J' pmriUea of the Stoaaach. lavmrUUr rarvd ; Ukiaf SIMMONS LIYERREGUIUOJ Let aU wba refer imeah - SICK AID miOUS Caa b. armatrd by takinfr a at m2 yaataaa ladumu Um oaua af aa ax