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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 22, 1887)
HISTORfC WALPOLE. A Nav HamiMhlr Towa With Remark ably IntarMtlng HUlory. Two Important event havo given tills part of the Connecticut valley an almost pre-ctiruerit interest fot thu historical student, writes a Wnlpolo (N. II.) eorrc-j indent, anil, Indouil, there are few earn so dull that they do not tingle at thu tale that aw tolil of what was done hern. In the !! Wal pole bury ing-groiind the visitor in shown a tombstone on which is engraved the following: "In memory o( John Kil -bourn, who departed this life April 8, 17H'J, in the MMh year of hi age. He wa tint first settlor of the town in 174'J." During the French aid Indian war a scheme waa concocted in Canada in accordance with wh.ch a bund of mmn four linndri'd savages was sent forth to destroy all ihn white scttlem mts on the Connecticut river. On t!in 17th of August. 17.')'i, the Indiana attacked thu cabin of dohn Kilb turn. Walpolo was then nearly, if not n i to. tins highest point on the river when! settlements of "i.',mii lui 1 been established, ami the ' .- li . seven were counted by III ' beleaguered garrison, and a nody inidciilly us large riMiiained in ambush in a reserve. Mm. W. (i. Barncttc, the wifuofu lead ing rilien of Wnlpole, Is the great treat granddaughter of this John Ixil bourn. Sr. The other noUble event was nothing less t h it ii wlint (lie folks licreeluim was the soillm r of the first blond shed in the Kcvnliili.ui. 'I'll is was mil, indeed, in Walpolc, N. II., lint in Westminster, VL, on the oiiuHile side of thu river. It wan in March, I77', n few week be fore the battle of Lcxitigt hi The royal ollleers were holding eo il l fur the en fiireeiuenl of some of the obnoxious British acts; and s great w is the popu lar disaffection that a considerable company of royalist tro ip had been sent as a guard. Alien o'clock in the eveiing, while the officers of the eonrt were absant taking supper, mid Mm guard was off it-, guard, a well armed and delerinilied band of citizens t ink possession of the court-hoime, and, on the return of the judge and sheriff, ris. fuscd to admit them, The tro ip were Rilininonid and a li Tee struggle ensiitd. Victory remained with the friends of liberty; and the ollicel of the crown lied across the Connecticut. However, one of the patriots was killed. His body lira buried in tlieanrientoc incterv, and on the moss-covered stone which mark the spot the epitaph may still be deciphered Here William trench It's IhmIy les ti t IiUiinI In Hint fur M'tigf licit it his. K im lie line hi M Ills Inn eri'W, Tliet w in h haul Inn liou l nliul through. Vmi l.lierly. Ins ceii'iii , ' unti l, lit lest lli I tu, ll.ii tie, if.-nl Inn. t, '.. A-lwlimr. A COOD ANECDOTE. (Ma Hull' A.lvl Nmnltrr nf Ilk niiirKtit XiittttMir I litlltil.u. When (Hi Itn'l, th r.'iowne I violin 1st, witt slaving ,n 1'ain in is to he re turned bum late one evening from a concert, an. I as llie ing'il was eold lie ordered his man to make a lire in )iU room. The lalt 'rdri.'ged t iw.trds th lire place a huge i.ox. on which the word l ire w in I" was painted in large letters In answer to (le Hull's toton .Vul inmnry tiie sen ant told him that the hoy had h 'en delivered thai liy at no" ii bv his nustcr's orders, an he lliiui.MiL On being lirokeu oprn I he b.n was found to contain twenty-two violins and the following letter: "tireat Master The undersigned, being nieiu her of various anialiMir philharinouie ooict ia. hereby declare that tliey i henceforth cease to perform nn the e. ciiiiiiaiiying iiilrimienU llie ine woid Iroin winch til.l Hull can draw life, hue, aorrow, passion and melody ia only to be regarded as- fuel f,r the Unities in the handset the uudei. signed, who ll.or.fore rt'.iict the ma stro to make no nulo-da le of the inclo-nrcs and toltM'k upon llie asceiitliug smoke M inc 'iiv otlered to Ins tenuis in- jvii il' iil d.iblders in the nol'le art."' I lu ourioin epistle b.uo the aigiuluies nl twenty two young men. '1'hree d.iys afierwartls (tin It.ill gavo a dinner, to wh eh be invited all the lenders n th,. vaiiiable hn vto, I." Kauh guest h:i, lying before him on the table one of th, violms nf nod to, and bv its goM rni wrh the inscription, s,,. tU'ln u:t,l IY.ocr;!i'v" a pi. ee ui .'oii ll'li'.a-lvicc to the f.uiit-li. t t. ttileltau'.e, and a Muth li. lii.li, (t vl the t iea.ii bv n Inch thu virtues, :, rlf Ii i uttailied to f'ne. -- 7'ti : . ABOUT ENQAGEMENTS. New Traa Woman Hhaald Ixmh Fpna Thl Hiata of ITolmtlmi. U it due to the lightnem with wliich io many vowj are regarded nowaday", and to the lickloncM of thoao who make them, that "engagonr nU" nnd vngaged peoiilo" are ho constantly hidifup aa endlu.M aubectH for jokes of all kin l? When wo think of a voting lady of our au.piainU'ice who engaged (f)'hiirnelf to two young men at once jiiHt for fun" and deserted both for a th rd, nnd of a young man who is en raged to a dill'orent lady each time you lici t him, we are certainly ntnaxQil at I lie facility with which aomo people "an "get off with thu old love and on v t!: tlio n 'w'' nnd acknow odge that he jokers have aright to bens mercileaa is t icv please. Hut to turn from theau ight hearted and light-headed lovers th i.-e who tako a more scriou view f the transition 8ta,'o bet w -en the r eiluni of the utiengag d anil the iaiiy hondaju of ni irr.el live, let in ee if an engagement is a 1 a young ,il. who lias romantic inclinations, Hides it must be? To b-gin w'th, v.uil a lot of croaking t'lo newlv-en-rag d girl baa to 1 Men It. Afier the rt ciin.'ratulati ms are over, some vcl, in -ailing friend remarks in a Ir nry tone: "Well, dear, inako thu noR of it, iill yourtroubloi.-.ratoiioine, U (lie happiest time of your life, ho lou't be in a hurry to lir.ng it to an nd.'' IVfliaps nnotliTassur a her, as 1 nice heart a young la ly msnr d, that "tliese things often faL tiirough, you may break it oil' yet." 'J'hes.i 1'iomy predictions ant no doubt ill very satisf.i tory to those alio make them, but 1 1 say thu leant (hey are not cheering to th t po ir girl who has to list mi t them again Hid again t II slut begins t wond t it. iv people are so iifraid th it a ty onn will bn too hanpv i i a w .rid which so many d i the r best to in iko a veriiablu "vale of tears." l'm liapi her engag.i mint is of neiti ss ty a 1 mg one, then he Ins ih i pleasure, i.f oeing constant v reminded of the fact by cxclatua ions like this: "What! not manioil et? Why, yon w r engaged a year igo!" (Ir, t II wore, !in must listen o long tirade, on t ie undesira'h lily if long engagements in guieral. whoa .pplicatiou is plainly nieiiit for her mrtictil.it- case. Hut these littl.i trials, ilthough real enough at th t time, urn lolhing compared with the greater mes she may hav.1 to b -ur i i tint Hhape if (told critical look from h t dance's ainily nnd friends, who probably hiuk h;m "far loo good 1 r h t," and ire apt to look upon lrr as an inti u ler, it least, at lii'st, and who take earn hat she sh ill in some way have u ret ty goo I id 'a as to t h ir opinio is. ill these external trills, perhaps dightly different in different cases, onld he cheerfudv borne by the "hap ;iygirl"if it were n t for the un.e 'ii ones she can not speak of; her doubts, her fears, her hopes, no apt to be d s anpoirilcd, llie feeling thai is ilisepara lile from any trans turn stat.t of tins t tledni'ss nnd unxii ty. All these would ill volumes, which, hoaever, would not be so interesting to the reader us the writer, wliich we are happy to think no one has yet undertaken. Knoiigh has been said to show fiat sometimes an engaged girl's "lot is not a happy one." no matter how much she is envied by her young friends. Hal if she litis a true love nnd respect for the man into whose hands she has given her happiness she will ie able to bear the trial and be nil t'ie 'letter for the p ohation of "nn e i gag'tiient" before entering on the renter happiness of married life. dr. Monirral H'iImcs. JONATHAN STURGESS. ilia Arrival In Nitw Vnrk a i.l Ills Meetlnjf wllh llnlii rl l.iMini. The following st irv is t d. I of .lotui than Sturge-s and Knbert l.enox. lotiathnn, a rustic lad from ( 'a ii Co l, arrived on a vessel in New York on Saturday night, a straugei toil penni less, (in Sun lay morning he looked around for a enure i. lie foun I tin1 .Id Wall street house of worship near Iroa lw.iy. lie stoo.l on the step while the gay throng passed in. The grand- ur ol the place appalled him. Uobert Lenox, a prominent member of the church, was always int rested in young men. Ilesnvt ie rustic lad .i nl went up and sp ike i, i him "Are you a stranger in the city '" "Yes, sir; I arrive, I last night." "So von c ime at on -e to t ie housn of ;...(? Would y m like, a s 'at?" "1 would." T.ie basiitu! lad was n-hcred into Mr, Lenox's own petv. I'll.' next inorii.'ng Im sni;lit out a deal -r in a i-Ttt;li. lie n anted credit for a little c.inv is. "I' d 1 not see y,iii in Mr. I,. iio's ;vw vei rday?" said the merchant. "I don't know whose pew I sat in, but a kind g'Mita'in in gave me a seat." "Well, l.i 1, that w is Mr. Lenox, an I it is no c. minion honor 1 1 be asked to sit in his pew. I will tiii-t unv bov with goo Is who has bad that, honor conferred I'p.m bilf." To the 0 iv if Ii s death Mr. Murgess said that his success dat..l from that Sunday. - In .It's Cu iii. no i. - " l lie poet is born, sir," n'd a man haughtily, as h r a- ive l a roll of man il ctipt from the editor with a shake of the head. ", is he?" r.pl.ed th' editor, with a peasant smile "Well, w h. n he gi ts u tl enough to write some thing lei! h.tu to come ami see me." Drains from Barn-Yards. It is difficult keeping a drain that leads from the bam yard in goo I run ning condition. Til- filtration of ma nure w.tter throne!, the soil in t me saturates it si that its fertilizing prop cities eseape into the di niil. ilus in o!vcsa serious lo-s, and. almost c.ii.i;lv is bad. the m inure w .a r (Mining i:i ontat t with S t in the drain induces (he formation of hue,,, erowtlis on m sides. These extend very rapidly whet, on. e formed, ai d are ex, d ngh dill''. nil to e,.t rid of. A t le, once affected, if taken out and cb .in.-.l, ,i,.;i again even if let in mi Uher place I he so 1 tarough whi.-h t!i- so-uingsof toei ai aard enter, th dr.i'n s ,,,ld ' i. ni. e, on. e a , ,r ami trcs: s,d ;ut in ts p ;l w ( a , ,,(,, ()l r i's i.. .n,ii,.,t :i!ne, I. , jiving xi.e dsa... - A r. - . ; ... EGYPTIAN CITIES. Tba Loral lliaterr of Hunilrads of On- Pruiirnaa Town Along Ilia Nil. Upon some apot of rising ground above the level of the annual Inunda tion a few mud huts cluster round a rudo sanctuary. The hut-dwollers mul tiply; the village spreads; the sanctuary ia enlarged or rebuilt. As time go on the village becomes a town; the town become a city; and the temple, enriched by successive generation! of Kings, Governors and pious donors be comes a vast historical aggregate of chapels, halls, courts, avenues, pylons end sacred enclosures;. By and by, whether ravaged by foreign foes or shattered by some convulsion of nature, the splendid structure falls into partial run. Hereupon the degenerate princes of a later age, careless of the past anfl eager to raise some memorial of their own uneventful rule, lay profane hands upon the monuments of their jrreat predecessors, cut them up for building material and nse them in the con struction of debased imitations of earlier schools. This process, in all prohibit ty, is again anil again re peated. S'ot merely stones, but statues, sphinxes, obelisks, are appropriated and reappropriated, worked and re worked, till at last there comes a time of disruption and change, when the old religion is abolished, and the lm tij s of the gods are c istdown, and t ic very language of the inscriptions is for gotten. After this, the sacred places become (piarries for the build 'ti of Coptic churches, Arab mosipies and the palaces of Turkish Governors. Mean while the actual city, consisting of labyrinthine lanes of mud built dwell ings, gradually disappears. The spa cious houses of the rich, the hovels of the poor, crumble, collapse and resolve themselves into mounds of dust and potsherds. Such is the local history of hundreds of ancient Egyptian sites, and such is the history of Tunis. A hundred years ago, the grave of this dead city was yet inviolate. Then, as now, the great sand island was heaped high with desolate piles of red dish brown rubbish. Then, as now. those moiin Is enclosed a low, level area of large extent 1 ke the bed of a dry hike, or the crater of an extinct volcano. The traveler who once, per chance, in adeea Inscaled those crum bling slopes and looked down into that area, beheld at his feet an undulating waste enclosed by what at first sight looked like a quadrangular rampart of earthworks, but wliich proved, on closer inspection, to he the remains of an ex traordinary massive wall built of sun dried bricks. The space thus bounded was strewn with ruins. Such was the aspect of the place when surveyed in 17'.S by the engineers of the great I'runchexpe lit on. Mean while there was war in Kgypt. in India, in Kuropn, on land, on mm universal war, followed, in 1K.', by universal peace. The rich, the learned, the adventurous, the speculative, were once more free to I ravel, and the world was speedily overrun by tourists and traders. The picture market and the ti ii I i u i t y market, both long dormant, started into n 'W and vigorous life. In Kgypt the soil was strewn with treas ures which it wa.s not only profitable but praiseworthy to rescuo from the destructive propensities of native fel laheen and Turkish I 'as has. A host of depredators laid hands accordingly upon every movable object wituin their read), and the collections so amassed were sold for enormous stuns to crowned heads and wealthy ri'tuoH. Thus were founded the great Egyptian galleries of our European museums. Amtlid It. A'lM.'iiriK in Harper' i .1uf tuint. DRESS TRIMMING. Tlir riinlarlljr of Kotinlii Hun. Is and (iitlloiinii anil II i.tli of Ml Kin Ii, Hands of etaniinc, embroidered in cn.ss-stitch with silk, are employed in trimming matinees ami tn -iriiing dresses made of surah and foulard: rcvers collar-i and cull's are embroid ered to co'-resp ti , 1 with the bands and form a very pivttv trimming. Lace of all kinds is extensively used for trim ming. Lace embroidered with g dil bullion is very elegant to trim (linnet tin. I c cuing dr sses nf black lace, silk or satin. Velvets for trimming aiv strewn w'th tiny llowcrs in bright colors. (ialloous and braids of all kinds tire the m ist fa-hiou aide tt '.minings. The are plain or Ii. ahv In ailed, (' implei. sets of tlr- beaded ornaments arc made to correspond for trimming panels, vest, cuffs and collar. The we.ghl of some of these, if elaborate, is truly an fa 'ling. Natural tir cones, very .small, are introduced as pendants on jet gal loon; gol I is also used with jet. It however, must be of the very tines quality, or it has a common,' tawdr, appe nance. Fringes of silver grav seeds mixed with steel beads and o:u i nients to correspond are shown to u, upon gray wraps. These are new stylish and very expensive. Larg steel, gold or jet balls are worn on tin ends of ribbon bows. Sue.le gloves still continue fashion able. When will glace kid gloves te turn to favor? Suede is very well for morning wear, but certainly 'glace kiii looks better fir dressy cosUimes and evening wear; but fashion is a .stern autocrat and must bo obeyed, so u. change is yet to be made". The tan color of the kid is yet the tirst choice, but black -nd 'ariotis shades matching the costume with which it is to , worn, are .shown for thbse who prefer a match to a contrast. Kmir-buttoi, gloves ure the length most used fot general wear. For evening the length of the gloves and number of button- i regulated bv the purse of the owner There is a slight d sposition to use some of the pale tints so long discarded. n well as the tan shades Stitching in black and color is een on inanv of the licw gloves '.i.r.' zioi Tvnti. --A Trench scientist, who savs h, has investigat nl tive thmisan I," f ,i lumdt nl shu 'ks of earth. piakes, :it': ;; ut s them, 1 k the tides, to the in 1 en e i f t ie sm, ;li,tl m.ton. 'The iir ior -o-i .f tire, he ar;ue. is ..i.u.e . th - oi,,: laws as tne sulf ite .i . wWr. THE HUMAN HAND. It Baala Charactar and Eipoaa IU Ownar's DUpoaltlon aud llault. Hands reveal habit, occupations, trades. A crop of them rises at tin thought, like the show thrust up from a crowd in honor of a candidate aftei an eloction speech. There is the car penter's, with the broad thumb, and those of the fraternity ol Hour, in grained, mealy and white; the musi cian's, with the powerful wrist and fiagers delicate, sensitive and agile to the last degree; the hand of the seam stress, with an honorable little bit ol nutmeg-grater on the fore-linger that works so hard; of the scicutilio uian, who lecture to explain mysteriei to lower mortals, and whose exactitude of touch is the image of his mental pre cis on. while the nervous stretch of his fingers corresponds with his tension of mind. The sleight-ef-hand professor is a man of long fingers. A oonjurer with a slow and chubby hand would betray the awful secrets of the plum pudding that is taken from the depths of your best hat. Hut hesido the character ami trade, thi hands toll the age. S oft and roiiud, the baby's pair of puff-balls, with their fat wrists deeply ridged, appear as if they can never do any thing in this world. Yet the girl's hand will become a treasure, and tin! boy's hand will bat tle for 1 f t and with his fell iw-men for the mastery. It is appalling to think of what thoi.t helpless little puff-balls have before them. After tlm first dimple they beeonvj the inky bands of school; then the awk ward hands that don't know what to do with themselves. Years pass, the boy's hand ceases to grumble at gloves yes, he wears them in extravagant fresh ness, in comparison as his collars grow upward, and his shoes tighten within an inch of bis life. The result of these phenomena is that a ring begins to shine with charming strangeness on another band, that seemed a child's but yesterday. The young wife tells by lier hands that it is not long since the wed litig, because she cm not let that now ring alone, b lit stsiturouud for the novelty, and aim res it with an unconscious knack of caressing it in idle m un uits. Her dimple disap pear, us the children gather to make a home circle; it is the hand of the wotu 111 now, with il.s very frame Work trace able. Dimples, bone and wrinkles mark the three stages of life's progress. W th tiie wrinkled stage the stca lines. of youth oft m retua 11 in resolute character. When t he Duke of Welling ton was a very old man he could still till a glass of water to the last possible drop and hold it up steadily brimful. The helpful bauds keep tin ir youthful activity, too, far into the withering a:e. And in nobly loving natures there is a sirt of immortality of youth; the warmth of affection has given more than a royal prerogat've; the hand is beautiful always to tiie eyes that know it fain liarly. 'The latter years only stamp it w th the impress of a longer past of tenderness and bounty. It is not the "old" hand but the" "dear" hand, and it never grows older, but only more dear. He who doubts the truth of this last mystery has not yet found out that hands as well us hearts have a pec iliar place in our knowledge and love of one another. (Jas-sell's t amity SI tj't;i ,e. WILY INDIANS. Th Astonishing ItoHilmess With Which Thar .4ntl Ciipluin Heeds' Trick. Captain Hogg, a Virginian who h Id a captain's license on the Mississ ippi riv. r before he was of age, and who for fourteen years had the con tract tu supply the tu litary post in I'tah, Colorado. New .Mexico ami Ari zona w th fuel, teils the follow ing story: "I was down in the I'te reservation in Colorado, and had strolled down to the shores of a small lake, while my mules and te misters were eating din ner, wuen 1 came across a patty of about a doren Indians. 'They were ariiii d w'th rifl -s, and were sliooting at a snag which stuck out of the wat.T about two hundred yardsibstatit. The stakes for wh ch they were shooting wer composed of a quarter of a dollar from each man 1 stood watching them for some time, and then decided to cnt"r the compel tion. Each man bad three shot, and the man who hit the snag the most times won the pot. The misses were to d l y th ' splash in the water; the hits by "the absence of t ie splash, "After some pari y with the redskins I got tlirin to allow me t 1 enter the niatc'i. though they compelled me to 'b p sit half a dollar, while they put in but a quarter. I bad a Henry repeater with me that, fortunat-ly for my pur pose, was then unl aded. I was ac counted one of the best shots in that ouiitry. but knew that the Indians were 11 t by any means slow. 1 slipped three cartridges into 111 v ritle, and as I lid so I broke the ball off, thu leaving a blank cartridge. Of enurs , no splash foil .wed any of my shots, and the Indians thought 1 bad hit the snag very time. I won that pot. but the next time 1 intentionally lost bv not 'raking the balls off and by takui" indifferent aim. " " "1 then broke all the balls off until I had won eighteen dollars. Then the Indians, who began to look at me with suspicion or awe, refused to slio t any more. 1 invited their, up to thect.re and spent the money on knick-knack, which I divided among them. 1 tlu n look them back fci the lake and showed thi'in the trick. They were very much surprised, but took it in good part "(In returning that wav a few days nft'T 1 found the same Indian on the lake shore shooting a big niaich w.th neighboring tribe, whom th. y w. re rap diy cleaning out of every thing. I learn, d tint they bad skinned' every Indian in th" country that they could get too shoot against tiicm ' I said nothing, but iniisetl on the readiness of the age to al.'pt the white tri. k." ).),:,. u I rtce'li r. man s ttu'gnria is derived from Volga; Ibilgar ms means the people t1 at i-auie from tin ,r .settlement along the Vuiga ri.er. f CALLED HIS HOGS. Wlir an Earllahman Haoaa Not tha taat I Confldanca la Arkanaaw Paopls. 'I would advise a man," said an Englishman who now has an Interest in Arkansaw, "not to place any de pendence upon getting directions from the people of this blooming country. you know." Have you had any trouble?" some one asked. "No trouble at all, you know." "Then why would you advise any one not to place any confidence in the people?" . . "On account of tluur peculiarities d m't you know. My brother and I. having negotiated with a largo syndi cate, bought an immense timber tract. We had never seen it, but we knew by the ruapj furnished us that it was of great value. Shortly after we arrived att'oldwood Station we concluded to .'0 out and look at the lands which ttay called bv the beastly name of .,.!, Trot'' After vainlv trying to hire a conveyance we started out on horse-back. "For several days, before the romance wore off. like the silver plating comingoffa spoon we had a very good tune, but gradually we came to a part of the country where the people respected not the church nor feared not the devil. They seemed charitable enough of every thing except informa tion. They would give us any thing in the house corn bread and bacon but when we asked the direction to any place they would become strangely curious; and I may here remark that those people, brave ami hospitable, would rather give up tlieir last piece of hog which is indeed very dear than to give up information. I don't know why this is. and I have asked several educated gentleman who were born and reared in the State nnd nono of them could enlighten me. "One evening, about the time thnt the sun wa setting, we stopped at a cabin situ-iled tit the foot of a rugged, pine covered hill. We soon discovered a man. calling hogs, at least I presunia so, for lean hogs ran at the sound of his melancholy voice. When we ap proached, the man, a tall fellow clad in brown clothes, placed a basket on the fence and regarding us curiously, said: " Helloa.' "We said 'helloa,' and st ipped to see if he would say any thing else, but disregarding us he continued to repeat his melancholy noisa, a sort of sorrow ful whoop, and would occasionally throw corn from the basket. 1 thought that he wouid certainly say something pr-tty soon, and of course quietly wait "d, but he paid no attention to us. I asked him a question, but taking una chunk und hitting a savage-looking hog that had just run up. he turned away and addressed hi ms df, in a language which I could not understand, to s mi 1 pigs that had just rushed, with many grunts and squeals, from a thicket. "My friend,' said I, 'will you please give me a few moments of your valu able time?' "He ba'anccd nn car of corn on the top rail of thu fence, kicked a '.shoat' that nosed about his h els and replied: " 'Whnt did yer say?' '"Can vou give me a few moment' time?' " Iteckon so; how much yer want? " 'I'll not detain you but a few mo ments. I am s vliat interested in this country and .v mid like to know the d rcction to a place called Wilson's Ford, you know.' " "No, I don't know.' " -Yes, but I do.' " ''That's all right, but you said I kuowed.' "'Well, then excuse me. llo,voti know any thing about Wi'son's Ford?' " 'V:u. I know that er feller ken git ereross thar cf ther water ain't too high 'Thank you. but do you kiu"r any thing about the lay of the Inud?" ''Vas, know that it lavs thar. I'ig o 0-0 wee pig-o-o-wee. ' " 'Which direction shall I take from here?' "'Any yer phase. 1'ig-o-o-o-wee.' " ' That i certainly very in lelinite. My idea is to get lli u e as soon as pos sible. Whither does this road lead?" "'Way from hayar. l'ig 0-0-0 wee,' "lint this o her one, I suppose, leads somewhere, does it not?' " ' as, it doe lea l some u 0 -re. " " Where?" "'Somewhere else. Pig-o-o-o-ivco--nig-o 0-0 ' " 'My friend, you are certainly a very utisat'sfaet iry man. i liave'huugh't -ome land oyer in that d strict ami would I ke very much to see it." " W'y'n't yer look at it, then?' " 'i'.eeause I am not there.' " ' Then w'y'n't yer go thar? l'ig-o-0-0-w 'c pig 0 0 0 - ' " '1 can't go there utiles I know the wav. Shall 1 take this road?" 'Vas.' " -W.il it 1 'ad me thete '" " '!xa n't sav as it will, :;,e,d kain't lead no lody lessen it's g it it lead n' line, an' 1 don't b'lieve this 'un has." , here, now, no foolishness; where will thi road leave me?' " 'Leave you whar you leave hit.' " 'Doubtless you are correct, hut can you not tell me which road to take?' ' lle'pyer.so'f. Pig-o-o-owee pig-o-j-o ' " '( don't believe you've got good sense." ,. .11 . , . .uoi n you nave, tur you re lost in' 1 ain't.' " 'Are you goin to give me any ' " l'ig-o-o o.ee pig-o-0-0 -' and 1 left him. Now. it makes no difference 'low completely I am lost, I never ask information of a man who is calling !l"os " Arlemav Traceer. In a negro neighborhood, while the earth was rocking, the ,-ry was ra;sed that the judgment dav was oniing. An old luaminv, w ;rh her kinky hair almost straight from fear, rushed out when Mie beard tiie an nouncement and gazed up eagerly. Miiidenly jhe shouted: "No hit a n't honey; no hit Min't. Do skic ain't moved. When judgment comes hits.-r tun n' lofe ways." She wa. armed rti'hthe belief that on that dread dav :hc heavens an I the earth will rush tti-;.-th.T. It would be w li if ,.,.r- ,,,., o'l'd s-.isj.vn himself with some iimide : ...I .-f ( 1, 1, , 1 ' ' I 1' .' pa. in xy t . liiv .i.u H t,'ia.) jt.ijra, H. PITH AND POINT. Oxberience was a bully teacher. Per only trouble rait him vas dot ha gifs his knowledge out vhen it vas pooty late. New Age. Now that the tme dog has been ta booed by fashionable society, the dude Is silly enough to think thnt he will bn reinstated. Philadelphia t 'a'l. "Are cigarettes Injurious?" d mauds an excited (icriod cal. As th cigarette is fast wip'ng out the inushir population, wo are inclined to believe that they are not. .V. V. Te't'irum. A physiologist says that "no man's body is as strong as his appetite." This explains whv a trump can cat a bigg, pile of victuals in a day than he c in saw wood. Sorristown (') Jlerahl. - No young m in has yet be -n found with the hardihood to ring a chestnut, gong when the young lady's father ob serve from the top of the steps, -), you know ten o'clock has struck?" 'Sew Haven Sews. "Ji nn'e," said a Lynn fnthr as sl,e came up-stairs at two o'clock, "h vour voung man gone homo?" "Yis. father." "Who !i'. dctin e?" "II,. works in a shoe-shop, father." "Ah. I e . a laster. Well, he's a good one at it." -Tut-Hit. "I never intended you to return me that five dollars, my dear fellow," ,ai I he. "I want you to consider it a g ft." "No, no," said the other. "I am lion et nb nit paying my debts; nnd bes'd 1 may strika you for ten dollars next week'." The'Judje. --Brown Did you go for a vacation this summer. Smith? Smith -O, yes. Brown- How did you manage your business atla rs? Smith -1 look my ad vert seiiient out of the paper until I re turned, so there wasn't any business to manage, (ireat scheme, ch ? harper' t llazar. "Here is a little th'tig I just dashed off." said a buxom ma den as she en tered the sanctum. The editor was just nbuut to state that ho didn't use poetry, when the young la ly produced a lieau tiful golden roll of butt -r. It was ao ccptcd w.th thanks. Uur'.inyton Fret I'reio. Mrs. Bullion I see that Miss Van Astorbilt wore at her wedd ng a vail a liundi-i d year old. wh ch was worn by her great grandmother a a bride. Mrs. Mushroom Vou don't say! Well, it doe seem a if people as rich as the Van Atorb Its might manage to avoid us ng a second-hand old ihing 1 ke that when tlieir only daughter gets marred. J!a 'ii'iler. High ami low - "How lilu'll tliu bonnets are this fall!" i-iil'l Jack 10 pretty Nell ; T'lev'n hluh in sliai.e. but that's not all Tliey're Il'iil 111 price us well " "Yes, .luck," the maid replied, "Unit's so," Anil then glance. I up at linn "Hut mill vou iilniiys stoo i, you know, To net bimu ita tliu lu iiu." ('ihtmln EiC'dnn Dispntrh. A s;,ti,tlt,irti ivm.tr wk-u Vlinm . , i" ........ shall g rls marry? Well, there are young men who languidly lounge lirounu waiei ing-piai-n iiuicis, wearing a .single-barreled eveg ass and a pletiti- . tmle nf tiliirt enlliov llnn't. for rtmi. ness' sake, let the girls marry any of them. They had better ruuain single two hundred and forty-seven years. Sorridowa Ikra tl. AWFULLY GREEN. Ah Appeul Which nrprinp.1 it ml DlsKuntfi Hit Hones' AruriUit. Jovito Arnivault is an Acal;an Frenchman who lives near Yarmouth, N. S. He went fishing on shares for Mr. Auguslus Woodman, and they made a bad voyage. At the settlement dovile had to sign a nolo for forty dollars for h s indebtedness to Mr. W. These acknowledgments are always taken in Mich i ii.es Soineiinies they get paal - mor often lb 'V don't. If they run o er a -ec uid bad year they are not worth much, nil 1 .Jovite hail an chor poor year. 'Then he went li-lnig out of another port and made a ve v successful voyage. In the autumn of ''ha! year Jovito's brother presented i s f ia Mr. Wood man's o lice w 1 1 a .cry mournful coun tenance, "What y 11 go to do 'bout .! v te's note, (iust? lie never could juiv dat note; got large fani'ly and bad luck." "Well." saiil Mr. Woodman, "l don't want to be ha.'d bow much can he uy.J" Amlifos- thoiig'il he nrght perhaps pay "two, tree dolltf." and after awhile Woodman said: "Well, if he can raise ten dolla . I will give him back the not.'.'' 'I'll. ui Ambrose prod iced, with many a groan, small sum of money from many diil'ereiit receptacles, slopping occasionally to beg n true .Nova Scot an fashion for "better terms," but .n vain. 'The ten dollar came at last and the note wa- given up. few day later Woo Iman learned that ,lo te had cleared four hundred do.lars. and soon aft r he met him and complained that he ha I not been well use I in the transac ton. He appealed lo .lovite's sense ot honor and justice and finally asked him if he did not think h.mself bound to pay something more. " B The Frenchman looked at h'm for a space, surprise, d sg 1st and pity alter nately displaying themselves 'in h s countenance. Then he saal: "(iust, I always tako vou for bimes' man. I didn't totight you was green," and, depart ng, closed the interview. fuU Free I'rca. Warning to Bad Writers. Henry flay, who wa a neat penman, was ipt, to an enthusiast 0n the suhjoct of plain handwriting, and was in the habit of telling a story in po'nt about a C nc.nnaii grocery man who wanted a lot of cranberries and thought he could get them cheap in a little Kentucky town. 'I o th s end he wrote to a cini .onier at the place, re iiiesting him t send one hundred bu-hels of cranber ries per S 1,11110ns the name of his teamster. 'The writing wa so bad that the party to whom the note wa :mI-dress,-.! could not mako out the wor I "cran. ernes" at all. but did conclude that h s eori es,u,, nt w,int0Q on8 ),. T.-.I luisl'nls f persimmons, whcli were at (.ti... gathered and f.u-war.lc.l. ''' t .. the u sg.;st of the Cinc nu.vi aian.-i'c iriej lojre.