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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 27, 1884)
EUGENE CITY GUARD. 1. 1 CA BP II KM., - Trtprlftor. EUGENE CiTT. OREGON. WAITING FOR THE TRAIN. Vfhf m Woman Is late .1 Wife' Be laya Lady la the Country. 'ew York Cumiiiorclal Advcrtier. Few married women who livo in the country ten or twenty miles from the city in which their husbands have busi , ever take the railroad train to the city which they mean to tako. It make o difference whether they livo livo min utes' walk from tlio depot or twenty, the time they arrive at tlio depot aver KOt as nearly as possible three minutes after tho train has left. Of course they are on time for tho next train, which will leave in half an hour. Why a woman is always late in taking a tra'in is inexplicable. A ticket agent who lived with his family right vera depot, once observed that his wife never took tlio train that she ex ported to take. When her train arrived she generally had one boot on and was looking out of the window, with one eye on tho train nnd tho other eye looking for her second boot. A married man, when he first goes to resido in tho coun try, generally misses from six to a dozen trains in the first few months by waiting in the morning for his wife to take tlio train with him to the city. After this he pays no moro attention when his wife says she will go in the train with him than on her informing him when tho church strawberry festival is to come oil', lie knows the strawberry festival is bound to como off, some time, and he knows his wife will go to the city; but the will not go on tho train with him, or on the one one she exacts to go on. If you reside ten minutes' walk from tho depot, your wife, after keeping you waiting at the house until Ave minutes More tho train leaves, will inform you she is ready; and when you tell her it is impossible to catch that train and you must take the next one, she will inform you that sho has w alked to tho depot from the house in five mfrutcs a dozen times. You know you cannot do it. About ten minutes beforo the next train leave you set out with your wif lor tho deH)t. Ilcforo you have gone thirty yards she returns to the house for her poekctbook, and to tell Jane not to let tho baby fall down the back stoop, and that she will be back in the 4:!!0 train. Your wife, having used up about two minutes of the ten in running back, although she can walk to tho depot iu five minutes, asks you when you are half way to tho depot, if you want to walk the clothes olf her back, and at tho tamo time informs you she never felt so hot in her life, and'that you have plenty of time and your watch must be wrong, and that that train is always late, and when you reply that it is always on time sho wants to know how about two years ago last January, when you had to wait au hour for that train. Sho refers to tho day of the big snow-storm, when all tho trains were late, and tries to play it off on you for a day in June, with the thcrmomotcf at 85 in the tdutdo. Tho lady who reside iu tho country goes through the same operation in re turning fiom the eity. Hie expects to return on the 4:!i0 train (this is her hus ban's usual train) and misses it upon her own calculation by one minute (a woman always misses a train by one minute); but w hen slio looks at the nwiro.ui clock sho llnds that it is the 3 oVlock train she has missed instead of the 4:110 and by the railroad time she has missed that train by five minuU's. Hie is on hand for tlio t:'M train, however. The twenty-live minutes she has to remain in tho depot tho spends iu tafkin'r with any of her lady friends as rdio happens to meet who huvo done just as she did, and informs them she don't believe the railroad clock is right, ami it must, be too fast, for when she was in Maey's waiting for her change it was only 4 o'clock, and she only slopped twice coming down from there. Mm then produces her watch to show that the railroad clock is ten nun utes too fast; then she walks up to tlio ticket receiver and inquires whether ho t . . i . i - i ..i ...1. : . ... . myuii r rninit inn r:mrimii rim k is uiu fast; he guesses not; then she informs tho tioket-taker she is certain it is, and jhows her watch, and he says "May be." When sho Hi ally arrives at homo slio ex plains to the whole family how she missed tho 4:!tU train, and a stranger would suppose it was (ho first train sho had ever tinned m her mo. llt'Huluua Uua. Atlanta Constitution.) The famous M. Uernurd dogs are very carefully trained. A traveler who vis its! some of the monasteries of tho monks of St. Hcrnurd, a few years ago, found tlio monks teaching their dogs from the earliest stages of puppjhood. .Not only is physical and mental training include,! in this teaehiiiL'. but spiritual culture is by no means neglected. At meal tnno the dogs sit in a row, cadi with a tin dish U't'nro him, containing Lis repast. (Jraee is said by one of the mouks, the dogs sitting motionless with bowed heads. Not one of them stirs un til "amen" is spoken. If a frisky puppy attempts to sample his meal before grace is over, one of the older dogs growls and gently tugs his ear. The intelligence displayed by these animals in rescuing unfortunate travelers among the moun tains is absolutely wonderful. Many a man who has lain down in a snow drift owes his life to tho sagacity of tho Dl. uernuru uogu. Irawlng the Line. Philadelphia Call Summer llotelkoepor Hut if you are autistlcd with the place why don't you come, my dear madam. I will hold that room for you a week. Applicant I am afraid you would not Jiko to reccivo the whole family. lIotelkeeiHT Well, of course, that de pends. Applicant Tho fact is I have throe pet dogs, a jarrot, two cats and a mock ing bird. IJotclkecper They shall all bo wel come. Applicant Oh! thank you, thank you. Thou you dja't object to dogs and other animals? Uotelkecpcr Xo indeed, madam. Vt draw tho line at children. LIFE IN NEW SOUTH WALES. Dire Itflrrla df the Drought-I'l Ins lb Kaucarooa. iPon-lirn Ittir.! i hi. at, vfiir .iiu. be-m di.Mistroua i to uml ennMHiueutlv Minim ess aid of all kinds has suffered greatly, su . Hnwliitf. u resident of Sydney. Ne ew South Wales: "For twelve months not a drop of rain has fallen in New South Wales, and as a result tho cuttle and ghw p have died by hundreds of thou sands, uno man iosi uo.ouu m 15,000 cattle, and many others have ixm en ruined. 1 ins is tse most severe uroux inoii ami linn been so terrible th ght tat rds mm v ' ' - in nidtl V iiwhmei'K w ild U'iists. larire tun like the emu; cattle and sheep may U seen struggling in mo notes wm-ro un gurfaeo water collects. The rabbits arc the greatest pests which the Australians have ever been called on to fight. They nre so numerous that at times tho plains for miles are alive with them, and are so thickly covered by the moving mass that what lit tlo verdure there is is covered from sight. "Tho kangaroo is also a very trouble some animal, and since hertmgo has been cut oil by the drought these ani mals come up boldly to the dwellings iu search of food. The government ami the stockmen expend largo sums of money in exterminating these vermin. Ferrets and gun-powder are used to kill rabbits, and' the kangaroos are sur rounded by large belies of men nnd killed by thousands. Thero is no nn parent dimuuition, however, in tht number of the pests, and it is boconiinii a serious problem whe'her they will not eventually drive tho jsoplo from theii stock farms. The damage done by wild animals and tho disastrous effect of tht drought have practically put an end to stock-raising in some portions of New South Wales. On ranches where a via ago the grass was twelve inches high the ground is now covered Bix inches deep with dry sand, which has been blown iu by tho wind." Mr. Tturchitt has been engaged in tht wholesale tobacco business in Sydney. Speaking of the Australians. Mr. Hur chitt said: "They nre remarkably fond of athletic sports and racing. Cricket, rowing, foottiati, etc., are generally in dulged in, nnd so far as racing is con cerned they go ahead of any other nation. The tracks at Mellsiurno and Sydney are the finest in tho world, and tlio racing stock is of tho very best. Hotting runs very high, and immense sums are lost and won .it each meeting. At the raco for the Melbourne cup thero are fre quently iJOO entries, with thirty starters. The attendance is generally from 100,000 to l.to.OOO. Tho races are hotly con tested, and Martin Henry, tho winner ol ih,. Vi.lhoiirim fiii last vear. made two miles iu 2:27$. Isating the best record ever made, lie won by a head, carrying Hill nonnds." In reference tn tho settlement of the country it has come to ls the ease that squatters are taking up small farms iu the midst of tho grazing country, as they have a right to do under the law. Each ii an can take 040 acres anywhere he can flirl unoccupied land, nnd the water cours -s are generally taken first. This i-oiniiels the stockmen to buv out the sijuitters, inid leads to a great deal of ill-fivling. "As one of the reside of the drought," said Mr. Burchitt, "many rt.iekinrn w ho a year ago could draw a cheek fin- KIO.OO!) Dounds stoilin''. are not now worth a A-nnuud note. The banks hold all the land nnd the stock, and for their own protection must carry the ram hnieii through until it rains. The rainier ol Water. IMactuinoof Art. Mr. Wyllie's present vessel isayawl of nine tuns register (seventeen yacht meas urement i. built at ltoliloclic. She is christened Lulvbinl. is decant, to look upon, and by no means unsung to live in; but being oi distinctly "lurrin muni she is chaired us unmercifully as the lxat with the omnibus, I'lat-boltonicd, with a center-board, and possessing wonder ful steering power and very light draught, she can bo run ashore literally anywhere a sort of independence abso lutely necessary to nn artist to whom iMiini of view is everything. So erratio Is the course which which Mr. Wyllio sici rs m search ot points or view, so ro mote'iind (apparently) unapproachable the spot t on which ho grounds, that he lias built for nimscir quite a htr.liant reputation as a daft and incapable nav igator. Kind hearted tug commanders, w ith nn eye to business win n they sight the Uuly bird helnlesslv stranded, spontaneously offer to "lake her off" for tho ridiculous sum of 5 pounds sterling, and cannot for the lite ot tlieni understand the skip tier's refusal to accent their aid. and 1 Mievo they end by regarding him as a lunatic nuriti. in mis erait ior years Mr. Wyllio has cruised in many waters; under all conditions of light uud weather. Thanks to them he has learnt by heart the lower Thames and its ailments, thanks to them, the channel, its coasts on both sides, and its sands and islands have become even as old friends; thanks to them, he has studied the Zuyder com storm, nnd mist, and siinshiu.'. and ex plored nearly every canal iu Holland. Travrlliiu on m Title. tlird Itonald (tower. 1 -A genuine lord has uo need as a tour ist in a foreign land, to proclaim ins aris tocracy. I ;l:ave traveled a great deal in America, and almost all the while incog nito. My exjM'rience is that, though a title may lo a juissport into some circles of society, it is on the w hole a drawback- among your .vplo. It subjects its possessor to two forts ot annoyance that which arises trom the common dis like of nristxratio eminence and that which comes from quite general doubt as Urnrtlltl Arnold's IK-arrndaula, Toronto (ilotxs.) Benedict Arnold's three sons, Richard, Henry and John, visited Canada alsmt to look after the land granted to their father some 13,400 acres in Leeds and Grenville counties. They settled there, married, ongaginl in business, and left numerous descendants, who are now among the most prominent nnd highly esteemed resideuts of that part of the country. Christian I'nion: Our educational sys tems are at fault not only in being an tiquated, but also in being narrow: they are narrow because antiquated. To Ilia North role In llulloon. KM Kurnuby in F- rtuightly lieviow Much has been said as to the possibili of reaching tno north pole in a balloon, and the present writer has received num erous letters from people who declare that they can direct an aerostat. His reply to such communications is that he will 13 very glad to make the gentlemen in question a present of 100 pounds ster ling if they will select twopluces, twenty miles anart. go in a free aerostat from one spot to another, and return, without anchoring the uauoon or recnnrging n with gas, provided that they, on failing to do this, will givo him 5 pounds sterling to assist a charity. Any person who subscribes to a scheme Tor reaching tho north olo in a . baloon, w ith our present knowledge of aerostatics, can not lie practically acquainted with the matter. So far ns tho solution of tho problem how to navigate tho air is concerned, we believe that balloons havo done more harm than good. The attention of in inventors lias been diverted from what is probably tho only feas ible way to obtain the desired end namely, the construction of a ma chine which, itself heavier than the at mosphere w ill be able to strike or blow on the air in excess of its own weight. Machinery worked by steam is much too heavy for this purpose; electricity some day, KThnps will be available. An engineer who has made electricity his study recently informed nn assembly of gentlemen that iu the coursa of tei years ho Itclieved it would be jxjssible to compress enough electricity in a stib stalico the sizo of an eggshell to drive an express train from Loudon to Liverpool. Science has not arrived at this oint yet, but who can tell, after the telephone, tho phonograph, and the. other marvel ous discoveries of Edison what it may do in tho future Inventors should never forget that a bird is heavier than the air, and that tho bird Hies because its strength enables it to overcome the dif ference between its weight and that of the atmosphere it displaces. To put the case in a nutshell, aerial nav igation is a mere question of lightness and force. The FatallNl'a Terrible Teat. Han Francisco NowB-ljetUT.J Tho world is full of fatalists. It is nn easy and comfortable belief. I have boon told a peculiar anecdote on this subjiKjt. At a frontier js ist the officers' moss was engaged in au ardent discus sion. Wine had been freely partaken of, and, with one of the strango caprices of intoxication, thero was philosophy nt the bottom of the glasses. The Moham medan religion was the subject of argu ment. Mussulmans believe iu fine. For them a man's destiny is written alwve, tho time of his death is set, and nothing can advance it. Kvery one had something to advance or relate iu pro or con argument. In answer to one of tho officers, who demanded to know of what use and to what purpose was reason and its con trolling lower if ho were born with the tag of our destiny attached, nnothor-a new-comer arose and said: "Gentle men, what is tho use of discussion? Make a practical test of the question. Take me as tho subject. Can a man will fully diposo of his life, or is the fatal moment chosen by a higher power? Try the question on me. Who will conduct the experiment" No one answered. Then some ono promised n wager. "1 one," was tlio answer. Tho subject drew a pistol, showed that it was loaded, and held it to his temple. 'Twenty dollars, I believe. Who will pay if I lose.'" Ho pulled the trigger anil the pistol missed lire. "A joke," cried the crowd. Tho fatalist smiled, lie recoiled the pistol and, with a steady hand, aimed at a clock on the wall. ' He tired and the bullet went right through the center of the dial. "Apol ogize now," said he. "I have won the bet. 1 always did believe in fate." The lOhler IMu U. liliick Wood's Mllpl.illl'. The filler duck, utter the wild swan, is probably the finest bird that frequents tho Atlantic seaboard. They nest all alsnit the island, especially among the long heather and reedy inlets on the eastern coast. Tho great precipices on which the Atlantic breaks are too steep and HTilous, and tho young birds, new from the nest, could hardly weather that tempestuous sea. From their earliest days, it is true, they are splendid sailors. When they grow older they grow some what unwieldy, and arc not difficult to shoot on the water; but the half -Hedged bird is splendidly supple, and seems to divo with the Hash. In clear, shallow bays we can see the little, downy mor sels oaring themselves sw iftly a foot or two under water, and when forced to the surface showing only the tips of their bills. At this season tho family is under tho maternal wing the drake, till well on iu autumn, leaving his con sort to her ow n resources. Meantime the male birds keep together, and are found quite on the other side of the island, iu parties of a dozen or a score. Why they should manifest such selfish unconcern for their offspring, at a sea sou when one would fancy their services were most required, wo do not know, but the fact is undoubted. A tVeateru SrlrutlftU Sun Francisco Arnimiit. Apropos of traveling Britishers, I am reminded of an incident which occurred when Trofessor Tyndall was lecturing in New York in 1S72. A number of statesmen went down on tho train from Washington to witness his first appear ance iu this country, and next day, with nunilKTs of prominent New York ers, called m the learned philosopher at his rooms in the St. Nicholas, iiuring the reception Professor Tyndall sidled over in his peculiar fashiou to a friend, and, pointing over to a gentleman who was busily conversing at the other end of the room, whispered: "Who is that cxtr'onary H-rsoni ' "That one? Oh, he's the senator from California," "Most cxtr'onary must extr'onary," exclaimed the scientist. "Why, what's the matter with himf What's he been doing.'" "Oh, uothingof any consequence. Only he asked whether I didu'l think the sun was inhabited." Aa Though a Vaaaar Girl Would Flirt New York Oraihic Tlic-c is a rumor that one of tho re cent Yassar graduates flirted for a month with a scarecrow before she discovered tlio mistake. This shows how little a Yassar education really amounts to. GATHERING RUBBER IN BRAZIL, The tVo rid Drprndent on Trrea Worked bjr Tardea Native. Exchange. Writing alxmt tho production and ex port of rubber in Brazil, Consul General Andrew says: "The rubber tree requires a growth of twenty to twenty-five years before it begins to produce, henco little or nothing has been done for its propa gation. The milky sap which forms rub ber is taken from tho wild tree, which grows scattered through the forests of the Amazon and many of its affluents. Tho industry, being principally iu the hands of an uneducated and half-civil-' i.ed nomad population of Indian mixture, is of a crude character. Noth ing has been done to improve tho system of lalior. A wasteful and exhaustive system has been followed for half a century, and the consequenco is that millions of rubber trees have been de stroyed and many others abandoned from premature and excessive uko. There are instances of groves of trees, which, by careful use and by not permitting them to be tapped in tho months of August and September, iu which they change their leaves, have been yielding for thirty years, and still nre in good producing "condition; but tho common practice is so was'teful that many well informed pisiplo apprehend that, unless some remedy is applied, this rich resource will before long sutler a serious and per haps fatal decline. "The rubber tree thrives only on foil which is annually overflowed to a depth of three or more feet, and prefers the lowest and most recent river deposit. The rubber gatherers are temporary squat ters, and their usual dwelling is u hut with low risif of palms, beneath one end of w hich there is a raised floor or frame work of lath, one or two yards from the ground, to which the occupants retreat at high water." The following description of tho pro cess of gathering rubber was written by Mr. Frnnz Keller: "Narrow paths lead from the gatherer's hut through dense underwood to each separate tree, and us soon as the dry season sets in he betakes himself with his hatchet to the trees to cut little holes in tho bark. The milk-white sup immediately be gins to extulo into pieces of bamboo tied below and having their ends in little clay cups set under the gashes to prevent its trickling down the stem. Ho travels thus from tree to tree. On the return visit he pours the contents of tho bamboos into a large earthen ves sel provided with straps, which he empties at home into a largo turtle shell. Without delay he sets to work to coagu late it with smoke of palm nuts, and pours a liitlo of the milk evenly on a light wooden shovel, which ho thrusts into the thick smoko issuing from a lit tle narrow chimney made by the neck of an earthen bottle. He moves the shovel several times to and fro with great rap idity, when the milk is seen to consoli date and Jo take a grayish yellow tinge. "Thus he Hits layer upon layer, until at last tho rubber on both sides of tho wood has reached a thickness two or three centimeters. Cutting it on one side, ho takes it off the shovel and hangs it in the sun to dry. A good work 'man can thus prepare five or six pouudsof solid rubber in an hour. From its initial color of silver gray it turns shortly into a yellow, and finally lieeoines the well known dark brow n of the rubber such as is exported. The more uniform, the denser, and freer of bubbles the whole mass is the higher price it brings. Almost double the value is obtained tor the fust-rate article over that of the most inferior quality which is nothing but the drops collected at the foot of the trees." Two I'lddli'H Jiikt .tli!:c. Youth's lV.:niiniu!i. Governor Whiteomb, of Indiana. wa a good mu.-ici:in, and played tho violin with skill. Once this was forty years a:o while journeying on horselwk. i.e stopped at a log cabin on a prairie. A. he entered, a lame young man was scraping on a fiddle. He laid the in strument on the bed, and led the gov ernor's horse to the stable. Taking up the fiddle the governor tuned it and began playing. 1 he young man returned and, seating himself, list ened as one entranced. Tho governor plaved "Hail Columbia." "If I had "i0," shouted the youth, springing to his feet, "I'd give every cent of it for that fiddle. 1 never in all my life heard such music!" The governor, pleased at tho compli ment, continued nlavincr until ho was tired. As he laid tho violin on the bed tho young man seized it, carried it to tlm tire, whero bo could examine it. turned it over and over, and then called out: "Mister, I never saw two fiddles sp mm h alike ns yours nnd mine." Kiifckin oil Second-Kate 4r(. Joseph nation's Loudon Iiettcr. A student asked "What is the good of second-rate art;'' "I am glad you have asked me that question," replied the professor. "Fifth rate, sixth rate, to a hundredth-rate art is good. Art that gives pleasure to any one has a right to exist. For instance, if I can only draw a duck that looks as though ho waddled, I may give pleasure to the last baby of our hostess, while a tlowcr beautifully drawn wdl give pleas ure to her eldest girl, who is just begin ing to learn botany, and it may also be useful to some man of scieuee. The true outline of a leaf shown to a child may turn tho w hole course of its life. Second-rate art is useful to a greater number of people than even first-rate art there are so few minds of a uigb enough order to understand tho highest kind of art." St. Paul Pioneer: Tho state need? citizens, but sho needs, above all, self supporting citizens. And that system of education is politic and most perfect which best meets and fulfills the hyhci requirement. THS TE0UBLE 8ATELT OTIS. Stomach trouble i serious business while it lasta; but what a blessed relief to have it depart! Mrs. F. G. WelK of 111 Atlantic street, Hartford, Conn., writes that she tried Brown's Iron Bitters for stomach trouble, and that she experienced such relief that the trouble is now entirely over. She recommends this great iron medicine to all w ho are afflicted. It cures liver and kidney complaint. A Steamer' Furnace. Foreign Cor. Kansas City Journal. After two days out the coal began to grow poor, quite a common oecurreneo in tiiene waters. The steamer hod come out from Venice with 1,-MO tons of coalalxard, bought for the bent This proved toward the bottom to be execrable stulT. and every day each funi s' had to be cleaned two or three times, which Bignilitd a lot of five or six toiu of cud each time. The coal would clog and settle down on the bumpers. This would heat them U such a pitch as to cause thein to melt. The proceiw of replacing these burs U awful beyond comprehension. The live conls are hauled out of the furnace, bundles of bugs are thrown in Uxn the almost rod hot grat ius, and a poor human wretch nishe iu with the bar. He can only stay inside for an instant, and if he does not wicceed in gutting the bar in place another man has to go iu to finish the job. You who have never boon below in a steamer in the tropics have not the fiihit.wt idea of bow hard a lot is that of a not Incon siderable fraction of humanity. I went down on a raw October day iu the Pacific patosi, and was amazed. 1 tried on the Regal In the Arabian sea, and actually could not get down. As I staggered back after the third trial the words burst from my liii invohuiUu-ily: 'Great heavens, can it be that men are work ing in this ttmiierature every day!" "Six hours at a stretch," was tho reply; "we ore a little sflort now. The regular watch is only four hours." I have no words at my com uiundin which to characterize tho awful heat of those lower regions of the steamer. I saw way down, down, far below the water's eoV, men walking betweeu red-hot furnaces, and on the tot of boilers, with not a bivuth of pure air, despito the appliance for their relief. From that day I longed for the end of the voyage, thut I might no longer protit at such a terrible cxnse of physicul endur ance. The engineer told me tlio teuipoiiitui-e never went Wow liW degree! down th.-iv, and frequently higher very much higher. He Didn't Like It. Chicago Herald "Train Talk." "What ure we wailing for, conductor?" inquired an impatient, clerical-looking traveler, as our train Btood on a side truck between Albany and Saratoga. "1 thought this was the fast train, and yet here we have been for half an hour. Y hut's the matter?" "We're waiting for a special to catch up with us and pass," replied the conductor. "Some big-bugs ou board, I believe. " A few minutes Inter the special appeared, running like mad. There were only two cars, neither of them passenger coaches. Through their 0K'n doors could be seen the hind legs and the tails of a couple of high-toned horses; in the middle of the car sat a hostler with one eye on each auimal; on the sides of each coach were painted the words "Special Horse Car. " With a snort aud a rattle and a munch ing of oats in luxury at fifty miles an hour the spcciul whizzed by. As the passenger train started out, an hour behind time, tho impatient traveler fumed: "It's simply dis graceful. There ought to be a law ayuinst it. .Making pasengirs wait for those race horses to pass! I am Koiug to write a let ter alien! it to The Independent. 1 uever felt so imultod and outraged in inv life. And 1 11 be lute. 1 know 1 shall. " Oh!" The impatient man looked as if he wauled to swear. Hut he didn't. lie was a min ister of the gospel from Albany en route to u country town to deliver tin address at a college warning the students against the vice of sporting, gaming and horse-racing. Peculiarities of Plgeono. Chicago News. Flieoas are very ieculinr in their habits, one characteristic being thnt they take up with strange pigeons and will fly away, one or two at a time, with tho stranger, until the w hole flock has moved to new quarters nnd now masters. Another peculiarity is that the nrnle bird will hit on the eggs the same us the feinule, nnd funii-hos half of the food for the yoiiiig. The common pigeon is undoubt edly v. hnl was known to the ancients, and is the l il'li. al dove which was sent out from tiie urk and returned with the olive l.raivh. Au interi sting fart concerning pigeons is that they drink liko cattle with l ug con tinual.; ilumghts without raisin.; their head. Another thing is, they fivd their voung with the white cunl-liki co.iU nts of the crop, the male being even better supplied with this tender food than the fem.i!e. I'eedlng the Motor, Burlington Hawkeys. Considerable excitement was caused in Philadelphia, oue day last week, by a rumor that the Keely motor was able to stand alone. Investigation, however, revealed the reassuring fact that it was leaning up against the wall in the corner, while the great Inventor was feeding it stoclc out of a large, strong bosket. A W05DEEFUL SUBSTANCE ! The results which are attending the ad ministration bv Drs. Starkey & Palcn. 1109 Girard street, Philadelphia, of their Vital lzinf Kemedy for Chronic diseases, give nsw surprises to both patients ana puysi cians every day. Nothing like these re suits has heretofore been known hi the treatment of disease. If you have an ailment about which you are concerned write to them for information about their new Treatment aud it will be promptly furnished. All orders for the Compound Oxygen Home Treatment directed to 11. Matn ews. COO Montiromery Street, San Fran' Cisco, will be filled on the same terms as If sent directly to us in rnuaaeipnia. Thy Germka for Breakfast. Vita Oil. Vita Oil. Vita Oil. Vita Oil. Vita Oil. Vita Oil. Dr. IItnUi Ltitry,. Beef and Irmi is the best ru-rve ionic ever aiscovereu. A CA R To all who are sutrcrinu from er rors and imllscreUons of youth, nervous weak ness, early decay, loss of manhood, etc., I will send a recipe that wiU cure you, KKEK OK CHANGE. This great remedy was discovered by a missionary in bouts America. !-ena seii ddrc8sed envelope to Kkv. JosEfH T. I.nvan, Suuou 11, .New iorlc Not a favorite with cow boys the short horn. ANT SMALL B07, WITH A STICK, Can kill a tiger, if the tiger happens to be found when only a little cub. Nj con sumption, that deadliest and most feared of diseases, in this country, can assuredly be conquered and destroyed if Dr. Pierce s 'Golden Medical Discovery" be employed early. The liveliest girl this summer Is Polly Ticks. Don't take the risk. Dr. Roger's Heart Tonic will cure those dreadful symptoms. No heart remedy like it. J. J. Mack & Co., San Francisco, Cal., Sole Agenta. If you want a good smoke, try "Seal cf North Carolina," plug cut." "i?rom's Bronchial Troches" are widely known as an admirable remedy far bron chitis, hoarseness, coughs, and throat troubles. Sold only in boxes. Use Wellington's Improved Egg Food for Poultry. BAFFLED ! Ob of the 31 out I'narrountable and aBnitrrvu si jtrrrni JlrrrlU Discovered and KxpuNed. There Is some mvsterloua trnnKi,. ... is attacking nearly every one In the land witli more or less violence. It ntemn la steal Into the body like a thujf In the night Doctors cannot diagnose it. Scientist ntu puzzled by its symptoms. It Is, Indeed a modern mystery. Like those severe and vague maladies that attack horses and prostrate nearly all the animals iu tne land, this subtle trouble seems to menace mankind. Many of the victims have pains about the chest and sides, and sometimes In the back. They feel dull and sleepy; the mouth has a bad taste, especially iu the morning. A strange, sticky slime col lrc u about the teeth. The appetite Is poor. There is a feeling like a heavy load upon the stomach; sometimes a faint, all-gone sensation Is felt at the pit of the stomach which food does not satisfy. The eye grow sunken, the hands aud feet feel clammy at one time and burn intensely at others. After a while a cough sets iu, at iintt ory, out auer a tew inonins it is at tended with a greyiah-colored expectora. tion. The alllicted one feels tired all the while, and sleep does net seem to atlord any rest. He becomes nervous, irritable and eloomy, and has evil foreboding) There is a giddiness, a peculiar whirling sensation in the head when rising up sud denly. The bowels become costive, and then, again, outllux intensely; the skin Is dry aud hot at times; the blood grows thick aud stagnant; the whites of the eyes become tinged with yellow; the urine is scanty and high colored, depositing a sed iment after standing. There is frequently a spitting up of the food, sometimes with a sour taste, and sometimes with a sweet ish taste; this is often attended with pal pitation of the heart. The vision becomes impaired, with spots before the eyes; there is a feeling of prostration and great weak ness. Most of these symptoms are in turn present. It is thought that nearly one tklrd of our population have this disorder in some of its varied forms, while medical men have almost wholly mistaken its na ture. Some have treated it for one com plaint: some for another, but nearly all Lave failed to reach the seat of the disor der. Indeed, many physicians areafllicted with it themselves. The experience of Dr. A. G. Hichards, residing at 4(18 Treniont street, Boston, is thus described by him self: "I had all those peculiar and painful symptoms which I have found auiicting so many of my patients, and which had so often battled me. I knew all the commonly established remedies would be unavailing for I had tried them often in the past. 1 therefore determined to strike out in a new path. To my intense satisfaction I found that I was improving. The dull, stupid feeling departed and I began to en joy life once more. My appetite returned. My sleep was refreshing. The color of my face, which had been a sickly yellow, grad ually assumed the pink tinge of health. In the course of three weeks I felt like a new man and know that it was wholly owing to the wonderful ettlcacy of Warner's Tip- fiecanoe The Best, wbicu was all the med oine I took." Doctors and scientists often exhaust their skill and the patient dies. They try everything that Iihh been used by, or is known to the profession, and then fail. Even if they save the life it is often after great and prolonged agony. Where all this can be avoided by precaution and care, how insane a thing it is to endure such suffering! With a pure and palatable preparation within reach, to neglect its, use is simply inexcusable. DISTANTLY BELIEVED. Sirs. Ann Lacour, of New Orleans, La,, writes 1 1 have a sou who has been sick for two years; he has been attended by our leading physicians, but all to no purpose. This morning he had his usual spell of coughing, and was so greatly prostrated In consequence, that death seemed imminent. W'o hud in the house a bottle of DR. YVM. HALL'S BALSAM FOH THK LUNGS, purchased by uiy husband, who no ticed your advertisement. We administered it, and ho was instantly rul.eved." Why is a gun like a jury I It goes on when discharged. "The play's the thing, Wherein I'll reach the conscience of the king." And equallv true is it that Dr. Pierce's "Pleasant l'uraative Pellets- (the origi nal Little Liver Pills) are the most etl'ect ual means that ran bo used to reach the seat of disease, cleansing the bowels and system, and assisting nature in her recu perative work. By druggists. Who ever heard of a hat band playing a tune. Smith's Cash Store removed to 113 and 117 Clay street, San Francisco, Cal. Am ple room, increased facilities, llXK) useful articles cheaper than ever. Price list free. FOR 3P2TN. CURES Rheumatism. Neuralgia, Sciatica, , Lumbago, Backache. Headache, Toothache, Rore Throat. NwrllinK.Kprnln.llruUei till r no. Men lila. Krixl 11 Ilea, 1SI ALL OTIOR Bllllll.t rtlS lB ACHES. Sold bj DrufiliU M ivlr YrTwhff. Fifty C W Iiirtctlmia In 11 i.ncutr. the rni:i.K a. vmi Ki.ru co. Tn Tn I I I II - l lulllsiiirr. Sri- l.S. A Th reputation of HiMtrttna Stomach Wturn aa a prew nli ot rpiilfniloa, a atera acbic, an inrigorant.a general rwMrali". anil a cilic (or feff and aiie, inilip-rtion. bllloua aflectiona. rheuruaUini, nerrooa dVbiliti, conrtltnlion aJ weaAneaa, la Mtab linhrd upon the anund hai at more Uian twenty wa' experi ence, ana can no more he ahaien hj the clap trap n'wtrurae ot un acientlllo pretenilerfc than the ererlatiml hiUabjr the winuj thai nmle through their dVltlea. roraalebyall bruKirinta anil Uvalrra generally. DR. PIERCE'S lEIffctra.MafrBtMic Br ii the onlv comulrte li Hlvt -T' ffrnerating cantinuoti Ki wrrxo-M '' a. a Arid. Mill. VI KIIJTI, liui'w& -" ' " - I i rr 4iM liVe mit'.c. For Tat ar female. Huirirctu un. J ! Pampiilrt, Sc., 1 c- KAGUTTIC ELASTIC T04 Sarmmcrto Strtwt, San Frarv-iw Sie HObPITAUfer- iHAM t f m.K f'J'JJJfrS tiraru..if.3. tXxnionn.!- "Sit I "-!'" '-mm u