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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 13, 1882)
i f BlH'IFAt 1XD I MEREST. Ob motber, mother, I am so tired!" 'Cheer up, my child, we have not .err fur to go. U,ne closor, let nie hrusb tbo dew from your curls. Now hand " tUHatthe child bung back, Bobbing wilU weariness and exhaustion, and tho pale Tounif mother, bonding over hor in the Lin attempt to Hoothe the hyBterical ex lament, did not hoar tho rumble of ad vancing wheels until they psssod close tolier, and a rough, hearty voice ex- cIWhiit ail the little girl? Ain't sick, ii she?" ... Mary Ellsworth had never soon Far mer Raysnesford before; yet tho mo ment her eyes rosted on inn wrinkled, .n.lmrned faco, with shaggy brows overshadowing kind eyes, she felt that 1,1 was a friend, and made answer "Not'sick, sir, but very walked a long way." tired. Wo "Got much further to go?" asked tho farmer, tickling his horse's ear with the end of his whip. To Breckton." Mr. Ravnesford gave a low whistle. "That' four utiles off, and tho littlo gal is pretty nigh used up a-ready." "I kuow it," said tho woman, with sigh, "but I have no monoy to hire lodging nearer. In Brockton I hope to obtain work in the factory. Farmer RayuesfsVd gave the seat of his wagon a thump with his whip-hau- die that made old Bonny drop tho mouth ful of clover ho was nibbling from the roadside and prick np his ears in aston ishment. 'I won't hear of no such thing!" said be, energetically. "Why, that child can't go twenty rods further! Hero, get in along with mo. You won't be nono tlio worse for a bit of supper and a good light's rest. I know Hannah '11 scold," he muttered, as he lifted tho littlo girl to his side and extended his hand to the mother, '"but I can't see folks perishin' by the wayside and not offer to help 'em. I don't euro if sin scolds the roof off the bouse." He drove rapidly along, making occa sional interjoctional romarks to his horse, while Mrs. Ellsworth drew her tbin shawl around the golden head that already drooped dowsily upon her shoul der, and thought with a deep sensation of gratitude upon the shelter which Heaven had provided her in hor sorest stiait. It was an odd-shaped old farm house. gray with the storms of nearly half a century, with a broad door in one side, overhung by giant lilao bushes, and a kitchen wheie even in the bloomy month of June a great fire roared up the wido throated chimney, and shining rows of UB3 winked and glittered at every up ward lean of the flames. Mr. Ravnesford jumped out of the wagon, threw the reins over a post, and went in to conciliate his domestic despot. "Look here, iiannab, Bud he, to a tall, angular-looking female who em srged from a pantry near by, hor face 'nearly or quite as sour as as the saucer of pickles sue was carrying, "jest set 'a couple more plates on the table, will you? I've brought home a woman and a little gil I found a piece below, e'en a most tired to death. They were calcu latin' to walk on to Breckton, bnt thought it wouldn't hurt us to keep 'cm over night. "I'm astonished at you, Job Raynes said his better half, in a tone of indig asnt romonssronce. "We might just as well bang out a tavern sign at once and done with it; you're always bringing home some poor, miserable creetur or other and" "There, there, Hannah," interrupted Mr. Ravnesford, "I'm always willin' to hear to yon when you're anyway reason able, bnt it goes clear ag'in my grain to see poor folks a suflenn and never stretcher out a helpin' hand. Taint Scriptur nor 'tain't human natur'." "Well, go your own gait, Job Raynes ford," responded his wife, tartly. "Only mark my word, if you don't end your days in the poorhouse, twont be through no fault 'o yourn!" She shut the pantry door with a bang mat mode all the jelly-cups and milk pans rattle, while job, with an odd grimaco, went out to help his guests to light. "Don't mind my old woman," said he apologetically, as Mrs. Ellsworth sprang to the gronnd. "She's kind 'o sharp spoisen, but she means well after all. We ain't all just alike in our notions, you xnow. "If all the world were like you, sir," said the young widow, with tears in her syes, "there would be less want and suffering, by far." Farmer Ravnesford pretended not to near; he was busy lifting little Mary, 'out. "Set on them blackberries, Hannah," jid he, toward tho close of their even ing meal. "The little gal's so tired she can't eat anything solid." "I was calculating to keep them black berries for the donation party to-morrow," said Mrs. Raynesford, rising with rather an unwilling air. "Nonsense," quoth the farmer, with a broad laugh. "I'm having a donation Party of my own to-night. Here, little one, see if those beraies don't put some color into your cheeks." All the evening little Mary sat by the hearth with her hands in her mother'a nd her large blue eyes fixed earnestly Upon the kind farmer's face. "What are yon thinking about, 'dear est?" asked Mrs. Ellsworth once. She drew a long sigh and whispered: "Ob, mamma, he is so kind to us!" w hen Mary Ellsworth and her little rl set out next morning upon their t ong walk to Jreckton. Job Raynesford went with them to the gate, fumbling uneasily in his pocket, and glancing guiltily aronnd to make sure that Han nah was not within seeing distance. When Mary extended her hand to say Rood-bye, to ber astonishment a bank bill was thrust into it. "Don't say nothin'" muttered Job, ith a sheepish air. "Ten dollars ain't much to me, and if you don't chance to get to work in the factory right away, it way be a good doal o' use to yon. Need jot thank me you're as welcome as flowers in May. He bent over to kiss the child's fair forehead, and stood watching them until the two slight figures disappeared, and only the golden sky and the moving crests of summer woods remained. "Ten dollars!" ejaculated Mrs. Raynes rd, who had witnessed this little epi ode from behind the curtains of her niilk-room window. "Is Job Raynes. lord crazvl To oiv tun .lniiam . . O ' www uwHma IV a strolling vagrant! If he don't get a pieco of my mind" r And she hastened out, her cap border fairly standing on end with horror. Job awaiieu the coming tempest with phil. lsophio coolness, his hands in his poet ets, ond his lips parted in a good-nu til 141.1 oi.iil.. Tl . il . ii oujuu. nwasuoi tne nrst piece i iHnmiui minu mat nad been liestowed npon him, uor did he suppose " "cijr iu uu me nisi, "She means well," he said to himself, when the volley of wrath had been dis charged on his luckless head, and Mrs. Kaynesford hail returned to her butter- uiaKing. -but she's got the greatest faculties for scolding of any woman I ever saw. Tho years flitted by, sprinkling the steep old farm-houso with crystal drops of April showers, and thatching it with the dazzling ermine of January snows, many and many a time. Gray hairs crept in among the raven locks o'f Farm or Raynesford, tho care-worn wrinkles began to Rather around his mouth and brow. Alas! those swift-footed years brought troubles innumerable to tho kind old man. "Twenty years!" mused he, one bright June morniug, "it don't seem possible, Hannah, that it was twenty years age this very day that I caught that ugly fall from tho hay rack and got lame for life." He looked down at tho crutches nt bis side as he spoke, and sighed from tho very bottom of his heart. Hannah stood in the door-war. tossiner coin to a forlorn littlo colony of chickens. Twenty years had not improved her in I any respect, hue was gauutier, bonior and morn vinegar-faced thau ever. les, said she, slowly, "and perhaps yon don t remember that it was just twenty years airo to-dav that von tb raw ten dollars away on that woman and her mid. 1 told you that you d end vour days in the poorhouse, and I don't soe but what my prediction is likely to come true. Didn 1 1 say you would live to repent it? I won t deny. Hannah." said tho old man, "but I've done a good many things I've beeu sorry for we ain't none of us perfect, you know, wife but that is not one of them. No, I never for a moment repented being kind to the widow and fatherless. Hannah shrugged hor shoulders but made no reply i "Iidn t you say you were Rome up to see tne ricu lawyer about the five thou Baud dollars to-day?' sho asked, jrres entlr, "Yes, but I don't suppose it'll be much use. If he'd wait a little, I'd da my best to please him. Jones says he'll be sure to sell the ' old tdace from over our heads, however; they tell ius he's a hard man. l mean to explain to him just how tue matter stands, and "I told you how it would bo long agoi ejaculated Hannah, unable to r strain her vexation. "What on earth ever possessed you to sign for Jesse l-airweather?" "I s'posed he was an honest man and I wouldn't see an old friend wronged. "Fiddlesticks!" exclaimed Mrs. Rayn esford. "That's just your calculation, Job. There-Zjke has brought the wagon; do then s'art off, or you'll be too late for the flew lork train!; And Job meekly obeyed, only too happy to escape from the endless discord or his wife s rolling tongue The rays of the noonday Bun streamed brightly through the stained glass case ments of Mr. Everleigh's gotbio library. ibo room wss decorated with appurten ances of wealth and taste. Velvet ohairs, with tall backs of daintily carved rose wood, were scattered here and there; marble vases ocoupie J niches beside tho doorway.and tho rarest piotnres hnng on the ponnelled and gilded wall. But the prettiest object of all the one which the rich lawyer oftenest raised his eyes from the writing to contemplate with an in voluntary smile of pride and affection was a lovely woman in a white cashmere morning robe, trimmed with velvet, who stood opposite arranging flowers in a bouquet. She wore a spray of berries, carved of pink Neapolitan coral, at her throat, and tiny pendants of the same rare stone in her shell-like ears, and the and the slender waist was tied around with a pink ribbon. "There, Walter, isn't that protty?" she asked, holding tip her completed bouquet. "Very prettr, lie answered, looking not at tho roses or goraniums, but di rectly at the blue eyes and goldnn curls of his beautiful young wife iou are not even noticing it, she pouted. "Because I see something so much better worth looking at," he said, play fully. Do you really love me so very much?" she nsked, throwing down the flowers, and coming around to his side. Ho rose and drew her carelessly toward him. "My dearest, you are more precious to me than the whole world besides!" She let her hand rest for a moment on his shoulder, and when she raised it there was a tear on her eyelashes. "Oh, Walter, if mamma could only see how happy we ore!'' There was a knock at the door. Oars. Everleigh slipped from her husband's arm with the prettiest blush in the world, and was very busy with her flowers when the rich lawyer s "right-band man put his grizzled head into the room. The old man wants to see you abont the Fairweather business." "Show him in. Don t look so disap pointed, love," he said, as the grizzled head disappeared. "I shall not be de tained three minutes, and the horses are at the door." Mary Everleigh never troubled her pretty little head about business mat ters, so she never looked np as the halt ing sound of old Mr. Raynesford crutch echoed on the carpet. But the instant he spoke she started as if an arrow had smitten her, and her tender hands clasped together, listening as intently as though her life depended on hearing every word. The old man was pleading and sorrowful her husband politely in flexible. At length Job Raynesford j turned to go. "Well, sir." he said, in a subdued tone, "I don't know much abeut law and law books, but it does seem hard that an old man should be turned out of the home that has sheltered him for sixty II 1 A. - I. years, and ail lor no tauii oi on own. They say you are a very rich gentleman, sir five thousand dollars may seem a small sntn to you, but it is my all." Mrs. Everleigh's soft voieo broke the momentary silence that succeeded this apjieal. "Walter, come here ono miuuto I want to speak to you." Ho obeyod, somewhat surprised; sho drew him into a deep recess of stained glass window, and standing there with the rosy and amber shadows playing about her lovoly brow, like some fair pictured saint, she told him how twenty years ago a wearied child and its mother were fed and sheltered by a kind-hoartod stranger; how he had given them monoy and kind wishes, when they wero utterly alone and desolate in the wide world. "But, my love, what has all this to do with my business matters?" "Much. Walter! I am that little child!" "You, my dearest?" "I, my hnsbaud, and the noblo man who, I am persuaded, saved my life that night, stands yonder, with gry bowod head and sinking heart: Mary, you must surely be mistaken. I cauuot be mistaken. Walter. I should know him among a thousand. iou suiu you loved me, tins, morning now grant me one little boon? "What is it, dearest?" "Give me tiiat noto be spoke of." Mr. Everleigh silentlr went to a small ebony cabinet, unlocked it, and drew out a folded paper, which ho placed in nor liauas. e glided up to tho ok man, who had been gazing out of a win do in a sort of reverie, and laid her soft band on his arm. "Do you remember the little golden haired Mary whom yon found with her mother, weariod out on tbo roadside twenty years ago?" "Do I remember her, lady ? It was but this very morning I was recalling the whole scone. "And don't you recognizo me ?" sho said, smiling up into his face, as she drew back the droopingacurls. "I am little Mary !" He stood in bewildered silence. All of a sudden the truth seemed to break npou him, and he laid his hand upon ner head with a tearful blessing. "And your mother, my child ?" nue nos ueen dead lor years; bnt it is my dearest task to be the instrument of her gratitude. Here is the note yon indorsed; my husband has given it to me. See!" A small lamp was burning iu one of the niches; she held the bit of paper over the flame until it .full a cloud of light ashes upon the floor. "Well !" Mrs. KiinBford met her husband at the door ut the instant his crutches sounded on the little gravelled path. "Why don't you speak ? Of course 1 know you ve nothing but bod news to tell, but I may as well hear it at once, Have you seen the gentleman ? What did he say?" "Hannah," said old Job Raynesford, slowly folding up his gloves, do you re member that ten dollars I gave that poor young wanderer a score of years ago to day?" "Why, of course I do. Didn't I re mind you of it not twelve hours ago ? What has that to do with our troubles, pray t "Just this to-day Ireoeived payment, principal and interest !" "What do you niean.Job Raynesford ?" "The little golden-huired child that sat beside our hearthstone that Juue evening is Lawyer Eveileigh's wife, and 1 have seen hor burn the note that has hung like a millstone around my neck for many years. Sb said it was but paying a sacred debt of gratitude; but heaven knows that I looked for no such reward." There was a moment's silence. The old man was pondering over the past, and Mrs. Roynosford was so taken by surprise, that she really could not speak "And now, wife, what have you to say about my nnanoiai mistakes t said Job. archly. Mrs. liayneBford hod no argument suited to the emergencies of tho case, and she wisely said nothing. A Blrea. A fascinating woman is not over-bur dened with the solid virtues. She is created to please, and fulfills her mis sion. Her certain spell is the witchery of simplicity, and betrayal of design would dostroy the illusion she creates. She sometimes even seoms a little care less to please, and this gentle indifference. joined to her attractions, stimulates and excites curiosity. Her face may not be ueamuui, out it is always exprossive. Her attitude and gestures have a little expressiveness, yet there is ever about tbom pleasantness and repose. In dress she knows the value of details, and the art of cunningly bringing out tho loveli ness of character of her appearance. There is ever about her some thing like a haze of delightfnl negative qualities; thus she elicits the positive qualities of those who approach her; they put forth all their powers to please, and credit their own agreeability to her. The fasoinating woman is, as a rulo, heartless, but she has a thousand pretty ways feline and caressing. She is very good tempered, and always in tensely feminine; winsome in manner, having an unstudied grace, exquisite in little things, and skilled in all the trifles of conversation and oondnct. She is always absolutely natural, yet the longer you linger by her side the rooger grows the sense that jea do not understand her. She pazzles, enchants, throws a glamour over yon. and the ilder grows the wish to comprehend and win her, she ever eludes and per plexes yon. She may be quiet at times, but never dull. The calm is sometimes broken by unexpected brusqneries, by bright raillery that does not hurt; or the delightful reticence of her demeanor may be suddenly exchanged for a con fidential mood, a gentle familiarity. She is selfvih, and from this selfish soil springs a host of tantalizing ways. She always lets you feel you are near; but you are never successful enough to know you have at least grasped her. The pursuit is endless, she beckons, but you can never seize her. A laly, writing about raising roses in pots in the honstt, reaches the conclusion that the one evident object in buying roses is to cultivate the first-class rirtnes. You show "faith" in buying one, cultivate "hope" in keeping it, and yon will need all the "charity" you can muster to keep from pitching it out doors. The Hissing Suspender. "Now, my dear," said Mr. Spoopon dyke, as he stretched himself and drew on his pantaloons, "you've cleaned these trousorsup first-rate. This is what I call economy. If I'd taken, 'cm to the tailor's it would have cost a couple of dollars at least, and you've saved just that umount," and Mr. Spoopendyke went to ins ablutions and then pulled on his Blurt. "I'll clean your coat, too, if you like said Ms. Spoopendyke. "Iouve it ut home some day, and I'll take this spot out oi tlio sleeve, aud Mrs. Spoopen dyke bustled around, and looked de lighted with tho idea of pleasing he husband. "Whore's mr suspeuders?" asked Mr, Spooixmdyko. scrowiug himself around and looking down his back. "You didn't clean the suspenders cleau out of sight did you.' "lhey were there when you put on ' your pants, hum .Mi s Spoopeudyke. "I pave noiiouenodliioin. with them?" "Oh, yes, certainly. hal did you do I dd something with them! What d'vo 'sposo I did with them? Think I set I teui up in business somewhere, don't ye? Got an idea I gave era a vacation to co tishinir, haven t ve' Well, I didn't, aud moro'n that, I didn't send em away to be educated for tho ministry. Where's my suspenders? hero d yon put em? S pose 1 iu go ing around holding these pants up all day? Think I got no business interests besides holding on my breeches with both hands? What'd you do with the tunics.' "I know I didn't hike them off the pants." said Mrs. Spoopeudyke, pulling open tho bureau drawers and hustling things around m a vain endeavor to find tho missing articles. "They must bo there somewhere." "Show 'em to mo then!" demanded Mr. Spoopendyko. Take a stick and point 'em out to me! Of course tbev are somewhere, only pntyour thumb on'rm What have you done with 'eui? Can't you remember whether you mado 'em up into hat-bunds for the' hcatheu, like yon did my dressing-gown, or whether you planted them to sea if they yould grow, like vou did my straw-hat? "Think they walked off like a croton bug? S'pose those suspenders have taken their girl to a picnic? What kind of housekeeping do you call this, anyhow.' Whore s my bus' penders?"' howled Mr. Spoopondvke, poking around in the soiled-clothes bug. "Where's those suspondors?" and he pulled the books off tho sholf, aud rum maged around behind tho case with broom handlo for a divining-rod. "Maybe I cn fix your pants so you won't need any luspendors to-day, and l il rind them before night, suggested Mrs. fepoopendyke, lhat s it. Ion ve got it, raved Mr. Spoopeudyke. "How are yon going to nx them? Going to tie them on with shoestring, like you do your bustlo? Going to walk around behind me all day and hold 'em on? P'raps you can pnll 'em up and button 'em round my neck! How d'ye propose to fix 'em? Going to put em on mo up-side down, so if they fall they'll full up? If I had your head l d go out to service as a file, r n em, why don't ye? Why don't ye fix 'om? These trousers are getting sick at the stomach, waiting to be fixed !" and Mr. Spoopendyke shot across Uie room, and dove under the wardrobe in search of the lost suspendors. Just let me buckle them ticht be hind." said Mrs. Spoopondyke; "the strap will hold them." That s the schemo! shrieked Mr Spoopendvke. "Something's got to hold them! If I was as sharp as you, I'd get rich hiring out for an oyster-knife. AH you want is to have somobody to Bit cross-legged on you, and como borne two weeks after you re expected to be a tailor shop! Going to find those dod gasted suspenders botween now and the next war?" "I know they were on his pants when he put them on, mused Mrs. Snoopon dyke, entering upon a little inductive reasoning. "He didn't take tbom off, and so they must be there now," and the good woinau approached ber husband with a smilo. "Oh! now they're going to be fixed." said Mr. Spooiendyke, with a horrible grin. "P'raps you're goin to cut button-holes in your hands and foot, and hang over my shoulders, ain't yo? Want me to put 'om on over my head, like a measly skirt and two tucks and a flounco to it. don t yet Maybe you think those suspenders hurried down to breakfast so's to get the first crack at the morning paper, don't ye?" But Mrs. Spoopendyke made no re sponse Opening the back of her hus band's fluttering shirt, sho savgr the miss ing suspenders. He had slipped them over his shoulders befere assuming the muslin, and had forgotten all about them. 'Smart as a whip, ain t ye? growled Mr.Hpoopendyke.as he drew off his shirt and let the suspenders down. "If my head was as clear as yours I'd hire out for a church bell. You only need four lessons and a drop of rain water to be a microscopo," and Mr. Spoopendyke hur ried on his clothes, and scuttled down stairs to get the morning paper before his wife could make a clutch at it. Brooklyn Eagle. Is rTornsn Physically Inferior. Sorosis. the largest woman's club in America, has just boen discussing whether woman s limitations in bnsiness are be cause of physical inferiority to man. It is to be hoped that the debute established that no such inferiority exists, for men who are ready to claim superiority in every other respect are generally envions of the physical condition of womon who enjoy good health. Women in general live indoors, eat improper food at irreg ular hours, and not enough of it, aud transgress the laws of health in many other ways; yet, in spite of it all, they can talk harder, dauco longer, live on less sleep and poorer food than men, aud even then they generally leave the ruder sex behind in all contests of simple phys ical endurance. Women's limitations in the battle of life, struggling side by side with men for bread and butter, must be traced to mental and not to phi sical conditions conditions instead of capabilities. Man seldom enters a business without long previous preparation in subordinate positions; woman generally attempts to begin at the top instead oi tne dohodi. In business, men sharpen their wits npon ono another; woman has tew opportunities of this anions her own sex, and the peculiar nature of her mod esty, which has come down to her through long generations of inheritance bv sex, forbids hor mingling freely with ber masculine business competitors. She expects, and rightly enough, Ibo special regard duo to her sex and she gets it; but this very demand and eon cession deprives her of many busiucs advantages that men enjoy aiuoug men. One serious mistake of women, too, should be noted and avoided by all the gentler sex who are seeking to earn their livelihoods. The' mere clerkships for which womeu strive first und strongest are not positions that can be tilled by anyone who run read und write; they require of their holders an amount of patienco, painstaking and adaptability to which nearly all women are strangers and which aro almost us ruiO among mon who, ns boys, havo not boen trained in these qualities. No ono in twenty of the men who want to be clerks in publio uud private ollices arc tit for the po sitions to which they aspire, so iutelli gent but inexperienced women have no right to expert better luck. Now York lribune. The Most Distrrsslag Mglit In London. It is nicht iu the lluvmarketnow. The last carriage has rolled awav, and though the red-coated soldier still puces on guard in front of "Tier Majesty's," tho lights hove been put out, tbo street as well as tbo theater is almost in darkness, aud it seems as though tbo hitter, at least, is to be given up to the shadows and the police. But this is a mistake. You are within tho routines of what may bo culled tho modern slave murt of Loudon, tho precincls where human beings place, themselves ou show for solo and loudly solicit custom. The Btreets all about you, from tho Hay muakct over 'toward Piccadilly, then tn Long Acre aud the Strand.are tilled with women. They are to be counted not by dozens, not by scores, not by hundreds, but by thousands. W omen of the sumo unhappy class aro to bo found in all largo cities of Europe aud America, and in all such cities they walk on tho streets at night. But except, perhaps, iu the case or Jiorim, whero they are scaitorod so indiscriminately aud promisou ously all over the town us to attract but littlo attention, they are confined to district which is frequented only by t hem aud their kind. They must be sought for to lie found. In London, ou the contrary, it is hardly possible to avoid them. Tho district about Haymarkot, toward Piccadilly, the Strand and Char ingdon. In it are, bosido tho grand tor minus of the grand railway system, all the most popular hotels, particularly those patronized by strangers and tour ists, many of the most faauionablo thoa tres, the aristocratic clubs, and somo of finest private residences m tho city. And in this district, from tho time the gas is lighted almost to the dawn of day, tho streets are filled, some of them literally, filled to overflowing, with womon. They are of all ages, and dressod in all styles and Qualities of dress. Some of thorn aro old and gray, blear-eyed, hideous to look upon in the dirt and tawdry finery; others are scarcely in thoir teeus, child ren in years, while between the two are girls and women of every age and sizo. Many of them are very beautiful, richly dressed, and, after their fashion, most attractive. But they aro all the old and young, the children and the blear eyed engaged in the sme terrible pur suit. They stand in crowds in front of the club houses, very much as young men in America staud in front of church doors after service; they haunt the hotol entrances and railway Btation all through the night; they throng the sidewalks, swarm about the drinking places, and in the Strand and Charing-cross, in front of the five largest and most frequented hotels in tho metropolis they aro so thick that at midnight it is sometimes dilUoult for people coming on foot from the thoators or other places of amusement to force their way through them. There is apparently but slight effort mado by the authorities to suppress their trafilo or to confine them to some obscure quartor. So long as they keep in motion they can not le arrested. Ihose Messed Vablei. We would not for oue moment insinu ata that the theater going baby is not a thoroughly conscientious, high-minded and virtuous baby when under its own roof-tree. Far be it from us to harbor even a passing tuougui as 10 us un- worthiness in this rospeot. We gladly believe that the theater going baby in its propor sphere is all that a doting mother describes it, and a proud fathor oould possibly desire. Noy, wo will go further, and say we firmly believe that the theater-going baby, above all its fel lows, would suffor at home the severest attack of colic in silence rather than cause a shivering father to walk a draughty room bare-legged for three quarters of an hour during the murky hours of midnight, or makb its sleepy mamma go down during tho small hours of the morning, amongst the black beetles in the kitchen, to rake together the dying emWs in the grate to decoct cinder tea. We cannot possibly pay the theater-going baby a higher compliment than this unless, indeed, we say that it bears a washing day with Christian fortitude. Combining ihe nature of tne serpent with the habits of the ostrich, it creeps 11 day on its all fours occasionally par- taking of any light refection it oomes across in the shape of particles of cin der, broken glass and shirt buttons. No, say what you will, we give the theater going baby credit for being everything that's good aud sweet and clever and pretty at home, but put it in tne ironi seat of a theater gallery, or tuo oac bench of the pit, and you change its na ture. Yon never saw a baby yet who ap preciated tragedy, comedy, burlesque, or the drama. They can't help it, and yet it's not all their fault either. Long have we studied the theater-going baby, and we have come to the conclusion that by the ban! of fate a horrible combina tion of circumstances, or some othor ap palling dispensation, the baby that dotes on burlesque is invariably taken to wit ness tragedy, and tne caoy wuose wnoio soul is wrapped up in Barry Bnlli van is made to pass an unhappy evening with Toole in the pigskin. The great difficulty is in finding out a baby's taste in this direction. Like all local theatri cal critics, without exception, the theater going bubios obstinately refuse to pass an opinion on tho orforiiiance until they havo seen it. This is equally propor in both babies and critics, tint it is nevertheless exasperating when neither actors nor uudicuce nor mothers can make out what in tho world they are all making such a ridiculous railing about. It isn't u lack of dramatic taste that makes tho theater-going baby lament in iinnii-asured cadence tho deolino of the drama, or tbo fall off in burlusquo. We remember once seeing a baby at tho Italian opera. It was in the front row of the gallery. Nobody knew thero was a baby there until Signer Sotncbody-iui and Siguora Somobodyulse-a began a charming duet. "Ma-yo-pas-fur siug-o-mi-i-i-a!" went theSiguor. , "Non-yo-far cal i ma yainpu dio !" went the Signora. "Yark-yark-y-a-a r-r-k-k-k 1" went the baby. "Espou-so voa VA d-a a-a-r I" sang the tenor. "Ah ! mi lozi popini ra dar-r-r !"sang the soprano. "Ya-rk ya-rk y-r-r-r-r k 1" sang the baby. "Tako it out missus," said a rough voice beside her. But tho mothor merely glared on tho speaker and buried tho face of the iinti Ituliuu opera critic under her shawl. AH to no purpose though. The criticisms wero smothered, but they were still there. There was no humbug about that baby. He didn't like Italian opera and he let everybody know it. Then tho father tried his hand. Ho flatteued its nose against his plated breast piu, stood up and rocked to aud fro, but it was no go. That baby had got its iufuutilo knifo into tho Itul iuu opera for somo cause or other known only to itself, anil wasn't going to lose sucli nulopportunity for ad verso criticism Presently a stout female stepped down from behind, seized the wailing infant from out the parental arms and hurried with it to a back seat. Wouderful ! a little squeal, threo tiny sobs, aud all was still. "Oh ! what can sho ha' done to the child?" asked tho agonicod mother of no ono iu particular, gazing wildly around. "Sot on't, I should hope," said tho rough voico bosido her. The bare suggestion was enough. The way that maddened mother went over tho backs of those benches was highly invigorating and slightly indelicate. Sho fouud her babe safe and well, and smil ing placidly as the last faint tones of the duet died away in tho proscenium. She always uses safety-pins now, fi sho very justly observes that the sweetest-tempered baby would think twice be foro listening in silent rapture oven to Itallian opera with three quarters of an inch of pin-wire embedded in tho soft part of its plump little leg! A Itoublf.JoUted, Three-Ply froef Christian, Bjotn- A Now Yorkor, who was in Denver when the rush up the Gunnison valley began, was approached by one of the natives with: "Stranger in those parts, I reckon?" "Yes." "Looking for a chance to mako some money, l take lit "Yes." "Then you are just tho pilgrim I've been looking for. There's a big rush for Gunnison. "Yes." "And thoyVo got the town laid out. and everybody is out on the whoop." "Just so." "In a month from this they'll have 130 poker-rooms, as many saloons, a dozen dance-houses, and threo or fonr theatres going, but there won t be a sin gle church in tne whole diggings, jnow, then, the first ohnrch is going to got the cream of the business. If we can jump in there with a religion which doesn t buck too hard agin poker and a fight now and then, the pews will rent for one hundred dollars apiece quicker than we can make change" "What do you proposer "Why to form a stock company, build the first church, got a h 1 of a preacher, and rake in fifty per cent, on the capital. No roason why'we can't run a faro lank in the basement, a saloon in the roar.and combine business with tho salvation of souls. I'm no Christian, pilgrim, bnt I'm double-jointed, three-ply, .bomb proof on securing a religion for a new town which fills a contribution box ohock up every time it is passed (for tho benefit of the blasted heathen. Children's Beds. Children who are busy during the day with active out-of-door sports often be come so wearied as to be restless during the night, and nnloss the room is warm, or a watchful mother keeps the bankets drawn over them, the limbs are soon be numbed, and colds and croup are the result. Older childron who awake snffiioently to realize that they are cold, make ineffectual attempt to cover tbeui solves, and will at last succeed In kick ing the sheet to the foot of the bed, al lowing a blanket to slido oil at one side, and the coverlet at the other, finally drawing a quilt over their shoulders, and shivering, fall asloep. To nrevent this, rery young children shosld hae the ooverings of their oribs seonrely fastened to the mattress at each of the upper corners by means of a clasp pin. This will allow perfect freedom to roll over or toss about, and still keep the blunkeU over the restless little sleeper. Night drawers are thought objectionable because the limbs should furnish warmth to each other. Long, narrow night gowns are to be preferred, of flannel if possible, double about the shouldors. with long lined sleeves, men u tue lit tle bed is furnished with soft flannel sheets, thore need be no fears that the baby will sleep unoomfortably. For oldcj children tho bed coverings should be so thoroughly tucked under the mat tress st the foot that they will not bo come loosened or else be secured with eltsp-pins. Lay the sheet in such a man ner that a quarter of a yard mar be turn ed back over tho blankets to keep them from becoming soiled. Then pin sheets and blankets together in two or three places at the top and sides, and if pos sible fasten to the mattrass at one of the upper corners. Then when the sleepy child tries to replace the disarranged covering it can be dons at a single ef fort as all are fastened together.