The Corvallis gazette., June 03, 1898, Image 4

r U
THE STOWAWAY.
mm
BRING blm up," eald the skipper,
tersely. They dragged him up
the companion ladder according
ly a shrinking, ragged lad, his pale
face pinched with days of hunger, bis
sunken eyes scanning thoso around him
as do the eyes of captive animals.
"H'mP' remarked the skipper. "So
you're the stowaway! Nice looking
young gentleman, too. Never did a
stroke o' work In your life, I'll be
bound. Never mind. We'll see If we
can't make you. Eh, Mr. Hillings?"
The first mate grinned. Ills grin was
an eloquent one, and the boy shuddered
as be saw It
"How did you find him, Mr. Bil
lings?" continued the skipper.
"Behind one of the cotton bales, sir,"
the mate replied. "Ho had an old mut
ton bone, with the meat all gnawed off.
Provisions, I suppose, for the voyage."
"Provisions, eh? Well, It's precious
fow provisions he'll get aboard this
ship unless ho works for them. Pity
we're out eo far, or we might put him
ashore."
For the first time the stowaway
Bpoke.
"Please, don't put me ashore," he
cried. "Anything but that I must go
to Cape Town, and I'm moro than will
ing to work my way."
"Shut up!" snarled the mate, em
phasizing his remark by a tug at the
stowaway's ear. "Who gave you
leave to talk, I'd like to know? Shut
up, and hark to what the captain says."
"What's your name, and where dyo
come from?" demanded the captain,
notebook In hand.
Tremblingly the boy replied that be
was Dick Harley, late of the Tenterden
grammar school; that his father, a
widower, had left him behind In En
gland, while he went to South Africa
as assistant surveyor on the new Mat
abeleland Railway line; that nothing
had been heard from that kindly father
for a year or more, and lastly, that,
compelled to leave school on account of
unpaid bills, he had resolved to go to
South Africa and find his missing pa
rent "And so you thought to steal a pas
sage on the Only Son of Portsmouth?"
said the skipper.
"I was refused b berth by every oth
er ship," pleaded tie boy. "They said
I looked too weak to work."
"Wc-oli sr not, you vo got to work
aboard the Only Son," said the first
mate; "hasn't he, sir?" "
The skipper nodded.
"That's correct, Mr. Billings," he an
swered. "If be doesn't want to pay
for his passage, try him with the rope's
end."
"Aye, aye, sir."
And again Billings grinned eloquent
ly as he led the boy forward.
A quiet, elderly gentleman who had
been watching these proceedings now
stepped forward.
"Don't hurt him, Mr. Billings," be
said. "lie's only a child, you know."
"Captain's orders, sir," answered the
mate, giving Dick Harley's ear an ex
tra tweak.
The skipper laughed.
"Don't you waste any sympathy on
that youngster," he exclaimed. "We
can't afford to havo any useless, white
handed stowaways aboard a vessel that
carries 230,000 to the Chartered Com
pany. How do you know, my dear Mr.
Lancelot, that yonder boy Is not the
spy of some high-sea robbers, put on
board to find out about the money?"
The man addressed as Lancelot look
ed grave.
"True," he said, "they did think In
London that an attempt might be made
to rob the ship. But still, this
mere boy "
"I've seen 'mere boys' ere now, Mr,
Lancelot, that were old men In crime.
Take my advice and leave the stow
away to my first officer."
At this moment a shrill cry of pain,
followed by another, and another, came
from the lower deck.
"What's that?" cried Mr. Lancelot
The captain of the Only Son of Ports
mouth put his notebook, containing
"PLEASE DON'T PUT ME AfinORE."
Dick Harley's name and circumstances,
carefully Into his pocket.
"That, my dear sir," ho answered,
smilingly, "is the stowaway getting his
first lesson In seamanship from Mr.
Billings.'1
Mr. Lancelot shrugged his shoulders.
After all, ho had been sent out In
charge of 250,000 m gold, which was
consigned by the Bank of England to
Oecll Rhodes and the Chartered Com
pany of South Africa. His duty lay In
the after cabin, where the treasure was
stored, and not in preventing venture
some little stowaways from being
rope's-ended.
II.
Bruised and stiff, Dick Harley lay
curled up between a seaman's chest
and the forecastle bulkhead. One of
the deck hands had taken pity on him
and thrown a piece of tarpaulin over
his aching shoulders. Thus he lay
completely hidden so that the men on
the larboard watch, who had Just
turned In after four hours' wrestling
with wind and water, knew nothing of
bis presence.
"What became of the stowaway,"
asked one of these worthies.
"Jumped overboard, I expect" an
swered another. "Billings gave him
'whatfor,' I can tell you. I must say
I dont understand why be wanted to
wallop the poor little wretch."
A chuckle ran around the forecastle.
"Why, you donkey," cried the man
who had first spoken, "Billings Just
wanted to show how zealous be Is in
the company's service. The captain
thinks there's nobody like Billings."
Just then the mate appeared, and, re
marking that the captain was quite
right, proceeded to give his orders for
a scheme which made the stowaway
under his canvas prick up his ear one
of them was still very painful from the
mate's cruelty and listen Intently, for
the scheme, In wbicb all of that watch
were accomplices, having shipped with
that express design, was nothing less
than the capture of the 230,000 and
PLEASE THROW UP TOCB HANDS
the sending adrift of the captain and
Mr. Lancelot, if It was not necessary
to niurder them to secure the treasure.
To stir from his hiding pTnco at this
moment would mean death at the
hands of those desperate men. And as
yet none of them showed any Intention
of obeying Billings' advice and "turn
ing in."
They examined their revolvers for
every one of them seemed to be armed
and talked over the coming attack
upon the Chartered Company's treas
ure. Dick had almost made up his
mind to risk a crawl along the floor to
ward the companion ladder, and a rush
thence upon deck wben one of the des
peradoes yawned. A yawn Is more
contagious than yellow fever. Within
five minutes every man In the forecas
tle was showing evidences of weari
ness. First one and then another
crawled to their bunks, and were pres
ently heard to slumber noisily. The ex
ample spread until the last of the band
knocked the ashes out of his pipe and
retired to rest. Soon all of them were
In the land of Nod.
Cautiously Dick Harley peeped out
from under his tarpaulin. Then he ven
tured forth and set one foot on the
companion ladder.
"Who's there?" growled a sailor
drowsily.
Dick's answer was to slip as quickly
and as noiselessly as his bruises would
allow up the ladder. At the head he lis
tened Intently.
"Who was It, Bill?" asked' a second
voice.
"It was that blamed cat I'm think
In'," replied the first speaker, and to
Dick's relief there was no pursuit
Qulekly he ran along the deck and
mounted the bridge to where the skip
per stood.
That night as the first mate of the
Only Son came up from his cabin with
a revolver In his hip pocket and a grin
on his face, he was met at the head of
the stairs by the captain and Mr.
Lancelot To his surprise both of these
gentlemen were armed, while behind
them he observed the despised stowa
way, Dick Harley, with a naked cutlass
in his hand.
"Mr. Billings," said the captain, "you
will please throw up your hands. Your
little plot has been discovered. Ah,
thank, you " (as ho drew the pistol
out of Billings' pocket),"you may return
now -to your cabin and consider your
self a prisoner."
"Wh what Ib the meaning of this,
sir?" sputtered the mata
"The meaning, Mr. Billings," put in
Lancelot "Is that this boy here heard
your whole delightful scheme to rob
the Chartered Company of 250,000. He
very promptly Informed the captain.
Your accomplices rn the forecastle were
captured in their bunks, and most of
them have confessed everything."
Billings looked at the speaker, then at
Dick Harley.
"The stowaway I" he cried. "The
miserable little rat of a stowaway."
"Yes, Mr. Billings the stowaway has
saved the Chartered Company of South
Africa 250,000 and a staunch, sea
worthy ship. You will find that the
company knows how to be grateful."
And grateful, Indeed, the company
proved Itself to be. A month later
(while Billings and bis gang were
awaiting trial for attempted piracy In
the Cape Town Jail) Dick Harley was
shaking his father's wasted hand In the
new hospital at Salisbury. 'The sur
veyor's recovery from a lingering fever
was greatly accelerated, you may be
sure, by the news that the Chartered
Company bad rewarded by a position of
trust and honor the timely action of
the quondam stowaway on the Only
Son. Ctlca Globe.
What Did He Moan?
An amusing anecdote at the expense
of an excellent and necessary profes
sion comes from Temple Bar.
A young doctor, a novice In Lis pro
fession, wno was also somewhat of a
novice with the gun, was out after
hare, and after he bad missed several
shots the old keeper said:
"Let me have a try. 111 door 'em."
About 30,000 families make their liv
ing in Paris In connection wtth the cab
Industry and taking care of horses. I
if
SPANISH BARBARISM.
For Hundreds of Years She Has Been
a Blot on the Face of the Earth.
The treatment which Spain has ac
corded her colonies has always been
brutal. Spanish hearts and Spanish
methods changed but little from Cortez
to Weyler, the only difference, Instead
of Increase and success as nt the begin
ning, failure and decrease of empire Is
at the end.
Spain has always felt her Inferiority
In this respect to other nations, and In
order to apparently maintain her posi
tion she has bid defiance to every other
nation on the face of the earth.
Spain has for a hundred years repeat
edly thrown down the gauntlet of defi
ance at our feet.
She has disregarded all treaty obliga
tions. Who can recall the massacre of
the crew of the Vlrglnlus without n
thrill of horror passing through bis
frame? The Spanish depredations on
our commerce up to 1814 were so exten
slvo that she was obliged to cede Flor
ida to the United States on their agree
ing to settle with our citizens, accept
ing Florida In payment of the lump
sum.
Tho United States has not alone suf
fered from Spain's depredations. As
long ago as 17o0 the episode which Is
known as the war of Jeuklns' ear arose
from the barbarous treatment of Capt
Jenkins, an English officer, and the
crew of tho English ship Relocca,
which was captured hy a Spanish
cruiser and searched, Tho Spaniards,
after hanging Captain Jenkins at the
yard-arm, with a cabin lxy tied to his
feet, unstrung him Just in time to pre
vent death, and cutting off his ear pre
sented It to him and bade him tike it
to his king. Captain Jenkins did ns ho
was bid. The wave oi Indignation
raised by this act of cruelty caused
Horace Walpole, who was prime minis
ter, to declare war against Spain. Spain
blterly regretted the act of her naval
commander.
In 17G2 Spain, by her repeated op
pressions, forced England to again de
clare war against her. Lord Allwmarlo,
with a fleet of 200 vessels and about
15,000 men, appeared lieforo Havana,
and although defended by almost twice
that number of Spaniurils fell In less
than two months timo, and with It
Culm Into English hands. It remained
there until by the treaty of Tarls, In
17G3, it was restored in exchange for
possessions which England at that
timo considered moro valunblo,
Spain was tins last of the great pow
ers to recognize tho sovereignty of the
United States.
At the end of the nineteenth century
nothing remains of her vast posesslons
but the Philippine Islands in the
Pacific Ocean and Cuba and Porto Rico
in the. Western seas. Mexico threw off
the yoko In 1811. Then Central and
South America in lSlfl. and tho Argen
tine Republic was formed from the
province of La Tlata; then Chili, Feru,
the United States of Colombia. Ecua
dor and Venezuela broko the chains of
monarchy. San Domingo and Hayt'
followed.
FISH AS FOOD.
Eaey of Digestion and a Light and
Wholesome Article of rier.
It has been frequently stated that
fish diet, by virtue of the phosphorous
which It contains. Is pre-einlnenily
adapted to nourish the brain, and that
those who subsist on It largely arc dis
tinguished for their brightness and In
tellectuality, says the New York
Ledger. It Is perfectly true that a
small percentage of phosphorus enters
Into the composition of the healthy
brain, and while it is also true that
fish contains more or less phosphorus
that may and probably does pass Into
the circulation. It Is yet to bo proved
either by theory or by experience that
a diet of fish Is on the whole better
adapted to supply tlis waste of the
brain than a liberal variety of other
alimentary substances, and especially
of meats.
Fish Is easy of digestion and creates
little vascular excitement and conse
quently forms a light and wholesome
article of diet Saltwater fish are tho
best of any, as their flesh Is more solid,
more agreeable and healthy, less ex
posed to putrescence and less vlsc'd.
They possess these excellent qualities
when fresh. When salted, they have
all tho properties of salt fish and con
sequently its disadvantages.
Those fish which have scales are In
general the most easily digested dd
the best and of all these fish the fresh
herring appears to deserve the prefer
ence. The herring, codfish, turbot and
flounder are perhaps the most digest
ible and best of fish. Salmon and
mackerel, lobster and most other kinds
of shellfish are more difficult of diges
tion. The mode of cooking fish Is of
considerable Importance. Frying them
In oil or lard Is an objectionable proc
ess. In general the process of boiling
Is best adapted to render them whole
some. Stewed fish should be avoided
by the dyspeptic Acid sauces and
pickles render fish more wholesome for
the stomach, while butter has a ten
dency to prevent digestion, while spice
and salt used In moderate quantities
facilitate the digestive process. One
of the best sauces that can be used
with fish Is lemon Juice.
Bnrgoyne Best of British Generals.
Burgoyne was the natural son of
Lord BIngley, and had made a run
away marriage with the daughter of
Lord Derby. As matters went then,
these were sufficient reasons for the ap
pointment; but In Justice to Burgoyne
It must be said that he had other at
tributes than those of birth and mar
riage. He was a member of Parlia
ment and a clever debater; a man of
letters and an agreeable writer; a not
unsuccessful verse-writer and play
wright; a soldier who had shown brav
ery in the war in Portugal; a gentle
man and a man of fashion. He had not
given any Indication of cnpaclty for
the command of an army, but this was
not thought of Importance. Let It bo
added that although as a solder he
was the worst beaten of the British
generals, as a man ho was much the
best for he was clever, agreeable, and
well-bred. From "The Story of tho
Revolution," by Senator H. O. Lodge,
in Scribner's.
Tlnplate Scrap Has a Vain -v.
The tlnplate clippings from the
stamping factories of this country arc
gathered together, tied in bales and
delivered at the dock In New York for
about $0 a ton; thence they are shipped
to Holland, where the tin Is recovered
and made into Ingots, while the Iron
scrap is sold and turned to different
uses. Some factories have as high as
1,200 tons of this scrap tin to dispose of
In a year. The process used in Hol
land for separating the two metals Is
secret, and the efforts of manufactur
ers to obtain a knowledge of It has thus
far been in vain.
We never have a very good opinion
of a man to whom making an apology
comes as easily as crying comes to a
woman. .
It Is exceedingly hard to get alon;
with a balky horse.
Road Improvements In New Jersey.
Excellent work Is being done in New
Jersey In the construction and Improve
ment of roads. The movement Is said
to have begun In 1893 by tho organiza
tion of a highway Improvement asso
ciation and the passage of a law tin
posing upon the State one-third of the
cost cf good roads constructed under
the direction of a State road commis
sioner. Under this statute 238 miles of
macadamized roadway has been con
structed at an expense of $4G0,595 to
the State and upward of $1,000,000 to
the counties and the property owners.
People can now travel upon a hard,
mudless highway In all kinds of weath
er. It is solid and smooth as a boule
vard from Jersey City to Atlantic City
and from Paterson to Camden. The
work of construction has continued for
a series of years In 1893 and 1894, seventy-four
miles; 1S95, sixty-six and one
half miles; 1890, fifty-one miles, etc.
The cost has been diminished by ex
perience from an average of $0,000 per
mile in 1893 to $4,000 a mile in 1897.
The soil and other physical conditions
In Illinois are so similar to those of
New Jersey that it is believed the same
methods and estimates would apply
equally well to both States. In New
Jersey opposition to the new system
has almost entirely died out and the
applications for State assistance are so
numerous that the appropriation will
bo increased from $100,000 to $300,000
this year.
The farmers have found that tbey
actually save more than the amount of
their taxes in repairing their wagons,
harness and horseshoes, without con
sidering the wear of the animals and
Lue economy of the time. The Road
Commissioner of New Jersey puts a
practical lesson In mathematics before
the farmers. "It costs 0 cents a
bushel," be says, "to ship wheat from
Chicago to New York, a dlstanct of 900
miles. It costs 3 cents a bushel to haul
wheat on a level road a distance of five
miles, and on a sandy road It would
cost at least 9 cents per mile to haul it
The saving on a bushel of wheat with
good roads for a distance of five miles
would be about equivalent to that of
375 miles by railroad. One mile of good
roads places tho producer seventy-five
miles by rail nearer to the markets. It
Is estimated that the cost of hauling
700,000,000 tons of farm products to
market Is $2 per ton, or Just about $1,
400,000,000. It is also estimated that
about 00 per cent of this last amount
or $840,000,000, would be saved each
year if farmers were able to do this
hauling over good roads." "The real
cost of transportation that burdens our
agricultural classes," he says, "is the
part of it between the farm and the
town or railway station and the mar
ket The toss due to bad roads is one
of the greatest wastes of energy con
nected with fnrming as It is carried on
in- this country." Farmers' Review.
A Michigan " Horrible Example."
The Gallen (Mich.) Advocate recently
printed an Item which was a most
forceful object lesson In favor of good
roads, Instead of the kind with which
Michigan people put up at present.
This is the item: "Mrs. Zlmmle Payne
and Mrs. Brown started for Buchanan
yesterday afternoon and at the sink
hole by Redden's got stuck in the mud.
Tho horse mired and the water came
Into the buggy box. The ladles yelled
for help, but no one heard them. At
last Mrs. Payne took off her dress skirt
and waded out of the water, which
was waist deep. She went to Redden's
and got one of the boys to help. He
rode a horse out to the buggy and took
Mrs. Brown out on horse back. Leroy
Redden then brought the ladles to
town. One of the Havens boys went
and got tne buggy."
British Roads.
Great Britain has 180,000 miles of
roads, which costs 90,000,000, and
0,000 mile - of streets, which cost 00,
000,000. MAID AND MOUSE.
Cause a Romance that Will End in
Marriage,
Cupid has many strings to his bow
and many shafts with which to pierce
the hearts of men and maids, but never
did he choose a stranger one than that
which brought love into the hearts of
Sidney Riddlestorffer and Lillian Udall.
For when the wedding bells ring on
Friday their melody will fit to the
strange refrain: "O o o! O o o! A
horrid, horrid moose I"
One year ago Mrs. John St Clair
Riddlestorffer, a wealthy widow, came
here from Brooklyn with her son seek
ing relief from a dangerous malady.
She grew worse instead of better, and
three months ago she employed Mrs.
George Udall, a widow, as her nurse.
About a month ago Mrs. Udall, need
ing help, brought her daughter, a
charming blondo, 20 years old, to the
bouse to aid her.
On the day of her arrival Sidney
Riddlestorffer returned from his New
York office to his home unaware of the
presence of his future wife. As he en
tered tho house he heard issuing from
the library sharp, little feminine
screams: "O o o! O o o! A hor
rid, horrid mouse V
Manfully the intrepid and gallant
youth rushed to the rescue. The sight
ho saw only a lyric poet can describe
tho sensations he felt There on a
chair, like a Nlobe, all tears, with skirts
drawn tightly about her, stood and
trembled a vision of beauty. Before
the Impetuous onslaught of the rescu
ing knight the mad, ferocious beast had
fled. The knight gazed speechless at
tho trembling vision. The grateful
vision gazed speechless at blm. They
smiled, they blushed, and Cupid's per
fect work was done.
Mrs. Riddlestorffer died, but before
death came she had learned to lovo
Miss Lillian as If she were ber own
daughter. On her deathbed she Joined
the hands of the lovers, gave them he
blessing and bade them marry as soon
as she should be burled.
When Mrs. Riddlestorffer's will was
read there was disappointment in the
hearts of many relatives. To Miss Lil
lian she bequeathed her Jewels, valued
at $7,000', the family plate, worth $0,
000, and all her household effects. To
her son she bequeathed $200,000 in real
estate and money.
On Friday the lovers will marry.
Norristown (N. J.) special New York
World.
Sucre ! Password.
Only three people know the password
of the Tower of London, and tbey arc
the Queen, the Lord Mayor and the
Constable. Tho password is sent l
the Lord Mayor quarterly, signed b;.
her majesty. It Is merely a survival
of an old custom.
A QUEER MANIA.
It Attacks the Man Who Looks Down
from a Lofty Height.
Not long ago a Cleveland man was
taken up on the roof of the New Eng
land Building by somo of the Century
Club boys to enjoy the view. It was a
clear day and the vista In every direc
tion was beautiful. But the boys no
ticed that the visitor hung back from
the parapet and declared he could see
everything all right from the middle of
the roof. Being pressed to go closer to
the edge, he flatly refused.
"The fact is," he said afterward,
"that I can't stand the sensation of be
ing up at this tremendous height No.
I don't have the ordinary feeling that
I must throw myself down. It Isn't
giddiness. In fact I think doctors
have told me that my case Is some
what original. You have noticed the
sensation you get when standing on a
bridge and having a vessel pass be
neath. If yon look down it Isn't long
before you feel as if the bridge was
moving and the boat was standing still.
Of course, we have all experimented
In this very thing lots of times In boy
hood days. Well, that's about the same
sensation It gives me when at a con
siderable height above the ground. If
look down and catch sight of a mov
ing object I at once imagine the struc
ture upon which I stand Is hustling
rapidly through space and carrying me
with It. I somehow can't help looking
down, and the speed constantly in
creases. I fteel as If I must be thrown
off unless I can cling to something, and
I really suffer tortures. The sense oi
moving Is Just as real to me as If I
were on a cannon ball express, and the
only relief Is to get away from the edge
of the roof or whatever it may be and
look up at the sky instead of looking
down. When I was in Europe a few
years ago we made several little trips
outside of Rome, and on one of them
visited a little place called Isehla I
think that was the name. There wasn't
' much beyond the local coloring to at
j tract us, the only interesting piece of
: architecture being a quaint old tower.
Of course, the party wanted to explore
j It, and we went up, I kept my eyes
j turned away from the earth as much
I as possible and reached tho top all
I right While I was studying the clouds
j and the far away blue hills my com
i panlons, for a Joke, stole down and
I left me there alone. I didn't miss them
at first and then one of the party who
had reached the ground gave an un
earthly screech. A queer old cart was
lumbering fly, and I saw it and was
lost That tower and I instantly began
a mad rush through the atmosphere.
Instinctively I clutched at the edge of
the buttress. It was the only thing
that prevented me from flying off Into
space. By and by my friends began to
worry over my absence. They came up
in search of me. Tbey found me with
my fingers purple and numb from that
awful death clutch. They actually had
to pull me away from the parapet, and
the strain affected me for weeks. Oh,
I'm a bad man to leave alone on a
housetop. No, I can't conquer the feel
ing in fact, I never tried to conquer It
I flo a much more sensible thing I
keep out of danger." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Not Flattering.
Some people havo a faculty for tak
ing off the edge of a neighbor's pleas
ure. A writer In the Temple Magazine
lately gave a case In point. It hap
pened to a doctor of divinity who was
preaching some special sermons. He
had scarcely got Into tho vestry after
one of them, when In rushed a well
dressed man, who gretted him most
effusively.
"Delighted to see you, doctor," he
said. "You havo given us a grand ser
mon. It has been a treat a real In
spiration to us nil."
The doctor smiled and expressed his
gratification, and the man left the ves
try. No sooner was the door closed,
however, than one of the deacons look
ed up and remarked:
"You must not take any notice of
blm, doctor he's got -softening of tho
brain.'1
The feelings of the doctor must have
been akin to those of another minister
who was preaching in Rochdale. The
morning was fine, and the congrega
tion largo. At the foot of the pulpit
stairs one of the officials met him.
"We've had a very large congrega
tion this morning, Mr. Brown," re
marked the preacher.
"Yes, sir," replied the guileless and
outspoken brother, "a very fine congre
gation. You see, sir, we wasn't ex
pecting you this morning."
Employed. Indians as Fighters.
The employment of the Indians, who
had been ravaging and scalping from
the day the British crossed the frontier,
had roused the people of the North as
nothing else could have done. The
frontiersmen and pioneers rose In
all directions, for the scalping of
wounded soldiers awakened in the
Americans a fierce spirit of revenge,
which would stop at no danger. The
Idea that the Indians would terrify the
Americans was a foolish dream. Noth
ing In reality was calculated to make
them fight so hard. Perhaps even Bur
goyne may have had a glimmering of
this truth when two of the allies of his
clement King tomahawked and scalped
Miss McCrea, There was nothing un
usual about the deed, but the unfortu
nate girl happened to be a loyalist her
self and betrothed to a loyalist In Bur
goyne's camp, whither she was travel
ing under the escort of the Indians who
murdered her. From "The Story of
the Revolution," by Senator H. C.
Lodge, In Scribner's.
Highest Authority.
An excellent story Is told of a former
president of Dartmouth College:
He one night caught a student help
ing himself to wood from his well-filled
shed, and collaring the offender, he
demanded, sternly, "Young man, what
authority have you for taking away
that wood?"
"Well, sir," replied the student, mind
ful of his Latin syntax, "opus and usus,
signifying need, require he ablative."
The president's eyes twinkled in
spite of himself, but be said, gravely,
"Take tt, my boy, take It and welcome.
But when you have need again, come
to me, and I will give you even better
authority than that."
Squelching a Pompons Bishop.
A pompous bishop was having his
portrait painted, and, after sitting far
an hour In silence, he thought he would
break the monotony. "How are you
getting along?" he Inquired. To his as
tonishment the artist absorbed In his
work, replied: "Move your head a lit
tle to the right and shut your mouth."
Not being accustomed to such a form
of address, bis lordship asked: "May I
ask wtiy you addresme In that man
ner?" The artist still absorbed in his
work: "I want to take off a little of
your cheek."
The Fair Divorcee,
Wabash Jovel old man; but that's a
stunning-looking woman.
Ogden Isnt Bhe, Chough?
Wabash Wonder if she Is unmarried.
Ogden Yes; three time, I understand.
What You Get
When Ton Buy Medicine Is a Matter of
Great Importance.
Do you gat the medicine that baa cured
thousands of others who were afflicted like
you? Do von buy Hood's Saraaparilla,
and only Hood's? If you do, you may
take it for scrofula, salt rheum, dyspepsia,
loss of appetite, rheumatism, catarrh, with
the utmost confidence it will do you good.
Hood's Sarsaparilla
Is Amerlca'e Greatest Medicine. $1; six for f3.
Hood's Pills cnr all liver ills. 25 cents.
The "Yankees" and the South.
Hard times test the quality and con
dition of a people better than pros
perity, for they are pretty apt to bring
things closer to a cash basis. The de
pression preceding the incoming of
the present administration illustrated
this, and the fact that the 9outh passed
through the trying ordeal with an as
tonishing ability to pay Its debts and
to keep up its increasing business
operations opened the eyes of the whole
country.
It was proof positive that the South
had recovered from the disasters of the
land-boom era which was almost a
second civil war in its cost and had
entered upon real and solid growth.
There has nevei been any question
about its unlimited resources; the only
trouble in the past was that they were
speculated upon instead of being legiti
mately developed. Building cities on
paper and floating prosperity on bonds
left a long memory of lost money and
shattered confidence. But out of these
bitter experiences good has come and
there is another new South.
For all this large credit is due to the
new generations of Southerners, who
believe more In running factories than
in running for office, and who prefer
good money to notes and mortgages.
They are the most numerous factors of
the better order of things. But at the
same time the fact is general from
Mason and Dixon's line to the Gulf
and the Rio Grande that the Yankee
is welcomed and is at work in the
South. Ho is building cotton factories,
putting Op lumber mills, utilizing water-power,
erecting schoolhouses, acad
emies and public libraries, taking tho
lead in many industries, and making
very handsome profits on all lie does.
And the best sign of all is that the pro
gressive Southerners and the enter
prising Yankees are generally working
together, and there are intermarriages
and all the social blendings, whioh
mean much.
Possibly our typical American is
coming this way. Leslio's Weekly.
Pat "An' phat will yez do with yer
money at your dith?' Mike "Oi'll
lave it to me children," Pat "But
supposin' yea nlver hev iny?" Mike
"Thin ttH go to me grandchildren. "
Tit-Bits.
rtTS FeTmanerltly Cured. N 6 fits or nervousnes
rllw after first day's use pf Br. Kline's Great
Nerve Restorer. Send lor FKK E &Z.QO trial
bottle and treatise. PR. B. B. KT.INE, Ltd., 930
Area street, Philadelphia, Pa.
It takes a healthy man four months
to eat his own weight in food.
If dry ropes are soaked for four
days, in a bath containing 20 grains
of sulphate of copper to a quart or wa
ter, they will be preserved for a con
siderable timo from the attacks of
animal parasites and rot
The Klondyke
baking powder is Schillings
Best baking powder. It
keeps and does Its work
everywhere. es
Forestalling; Thing.
Amateur Actor But, deah boy, do
you think the villain's part suited to
me? The manager Capitally I It
wont matter when you're hissed.
New York Evening Journal.
JOHN POOI.B IS CONSTANTLY KB-
celvliig large Invoices of the Celebrated Btougn
too wagons. These are superior to any eyer pot
cpon this market. Before buying a wagon Cull
and examine, or write for cntalotraa. Address
foot of Morrison street, Portland, Oregon.
' The bydra fuaca, a sort of polypus,
may be turned inside out like a glove,
and will continue to live and eat as
heartily as ever.
'A Perfect Type of the Highest Order of
Excellence In Manufacture. "
WaltBTBaRer&Gols
Breakfast
(ijcoa
Absolutely Pure,
Delicious,
Nutritious.
i ..Costs Less Than QUE CUT a Cop..
De sure that you get the Genuine Article.
made at DORCHESTER, MASS. by 7
WALTER BAKER & CO. Ltd. f
Established 1780.
Cood
Health
Is the worklngcapital
of humanity. He who
loses that is wrecked
indeed. Is your health
falling you, your am
bition, vigor, vitality
wasting away T
When others rail con
sult DOCTOR
RATCLLFFE,
Pot the speedy, sans and permanent core of all
eervous, Chronic and Special diseases, even
their moat aggravated forms. There is no man
in the world who has effected no many permanent
cGres In both Men and Women of troubles Which
other physlcatu of acknowledged ability had given
up aa hopeless as tb ! 5 emlaent specialist.
NEK VOL'S DEBILITY and all its attending
ailments, of YOON5. middle-aged and OLt
MEN. The awful effects Of neglected or Improp
erly treated cases, causing drains, weakness of
body and brain, dizziness, tailing memory. lack of
energy and confidence, pains in back, loins and
kidneys, and many otb.tr distressing symptoms,
unfitting One for study, business or enjoyment or
Ufa. Dr R&tellfle can cure you, no matter who or
what has failed.
WEAK MEN. He restores lost vigor and vi
tality to weak men. Organs of the body which
have been weakened through disease, overwork,
excesses or Indiscretions are festered to full power,
strength and vigor through his own successful sys
tem of treatment.
VAKICOOBLn. hydrocele, swelling and ten
derness of the glands treated with qn tailing BOceesa.
SPECIAL DISEASES. Inflammation, dis
charges, etc., Which, if neglected gt Improperly
treated, break down the system, cause Kidney and
buXS diseases, etc.
DISK ASKS OF WOMEN. Prompt and es
peotal at tent Ton given to all their many ailments.
WRITE If you are aware of any trouble. PQ
NOT DELAY. Call on Dr. Hatelltfb today- Ifyod
cannot Call, write him. His valuable book free to
ail sufferers. CONSULTATION FREE and oon&V
denttai at office or by letter.
6. M. ftATOLiFFB. mnmtn,nu.i
ELSE FAfVS.
Owl
m mt mm all
mm neer t out n cyrup. I bmw
Ed la time. Sold oy druggists.
TT .
fEN POINTS.
The odes of some poets are rather
odious.
The wedding tour is often the calm
before the storm.
People who have advice to give are
never stingy with it.
Popular songs are often so popular
that they become unpopular.
When it comes to jealonay and crow
ing a man is superior to a rooster.
A war artist is alwayB successful,
even though his battles are drawn.
A Jolly good fellow is hardly ever
classed synonymously with a first
class financier.
When a man boasts of having money
to burn be will soon have ashes to
throw away.
Only a small portion of the world
loves a lover; the rest of it considers
him a chump
A bachelor as a rule is the acme of
selfishness, and happy is the woman
that fails to get him.
Every man intends to have his own
way after marriage, but sometimes his
wife relieves him of a false impression.
Chicago News.
PUBLIC CLOCKS.
Pew great cities ot America are adequately
provided with clocks of such a size and so
prominent location as to Indicate the time
over wide metropolitan districts. But It Is
high time to check kidney and bladder com
plaint manifested to the sufferer by Inactivity
of the organs affected. Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters remedies this as it dees dyspepsia,
rheumatism, constipation, biliousness and
nervousness.
Solved.
"Has your wife ever threatened to
leave you and go back to her mother?"
"So." "Ahl Then she is master of
the house. "
TRY ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE.
A powder to be shaken into the shoes.
At this season your feet feel swollen, ner
vous, and hot, and get tired easily. If you
have smarting feet or tight shoes, "try
Allen's Foot-Ease. It cools the feet nnil
makes walking easy. Cures swollen and
sweating feet, blisters and callous spots.
Believes corns and bunions of all pain and
gives rest and comfort Ten thousand tes
timonials of cures. Try It todap. Sold by
all druggists and shoe stores for 2ftc. Sent
by mail for 25c in stamps. Trial package
F'REB. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Le
Roy, New York.
The elephant does not smell with
his trunk. His olfactory nerves are
contained in a single nostril, which is
in the roof of the mouth, near the front.
CASTOR I A
Por Infants and Children.
The Rind Yon Have Always Bought
Bears the
Signature of
In the protestant cemetery of Caen,
turrounded with ewe and cypress trees,
shore is a tomb which has just been re
stored. The stone bears these words:
"In memory ot Beau Brummel, who
departed this life on the 29th of March,
1840. atred 62 years. " The tomb con
tains the remains of the noted favorite
of George IV.
In Northern China one of tho prin
cipal occupations is raising dogs for
their fnr, which is fine and dense and
much used for clothing. They cost
only 40 cents apiece.
Editor "One of my fair subscribers
wants to know how to change the color
of her hair." Caller "What would
you say?" Editor "I should advise
her to marry some nice young man to
reform him." Puck.
Statx or Ohio, City or Toledo,
Lucas County. i
Fbank J. Cheney uiakes oath that tie rs the
senior patter of the arm oi r . J. ciikney s co.,
doing Business In the City of Toledo, County
ana state aioresaui, ana mat saia nrm win pay
the sum Oi ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each
and every ease of Catarrh that cannot be cured
Dy tne use oi hall s catarrh vure.
PRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this th day of December, A. D. 1886.
i l A. W. GLEASON,
I HL I Notary Pv b He
flail's Catarrh Cure is taken Internally and acts
directly on the blobd and mucous surfaces of
tho system. Send for testimonials, free.
P. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists, 7fic.
Hall's Family Pills ate the best.
In Germany peroxide of hydrogen Is
said to be mixed with various drinks in
order to give them the mellow flavor
of ago.
I shall recommend Piso's Cure foT Con
sumption far and wide. Mrs. Mullipan,
Plumstead, Kent, Englund, Nov. 8, 1895.
MEIER & FRANK CO.
..Great Removal Sale.,
A Half-Million Dollar Stock to Be
Closed Out.
Work will soon be completed on oat new five-story building we
are to occupy, and as we intend to place only new goods upon its
shelves our present immense stock must be promptly disposed of.
..REDUCED PRICES..
To such an extent that it b to the interests of everyone to buy now.
All mail orders filled at Removal Sale Prices.
MEIER & FRANK CO.
PORTLAND. OREGON.
IXa A. AAAaXaa AAAAAAA AAAAaXaA AAaaaaA
w w w www
0MMMM
(2) actual horsepower)
Price, oafy $186.
Special
(MRS. ELLA M'GABVY.
Writing to Mrs. Finkham,
Says: I have been usine your Vege
table Compound and find that it does
all that it is recommended to do. I
have been a sufferer for the last four
years with womb
trouble, weak
back and excre
tions. I was hard
ly able to do my
household duties,
and while a Vent
my work was
nervous that
I was miser- '
able. I had
also given
up in des
pair, when I
was persuaded to try Lydia E. Pinlf
ham's Vcgetablo Compound, and to
day, I am feeling like a new woman.
Mrs, Ella. McGarvt, Neebe Road
Station, Cincinnati, O.
Lydia E. Ftokham'B Liver Fills
work in unison with the Compound,
and are a sure cure for constipation
and sick-headache, Mrs. Pinkham's
Sanative Wash is frequently found of
great value for local application. Cor
respondence is freely solicited by tho
Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co., Lynn,
Mass., and the strictest confidence as
sured. All druggists sell tho Pink
ham's remedies. The Vegetable Com
pound in three forms Liquid, Pills
and Lozenpes.
Two thousand two hundred trains
leave London ordinarily every 24 hours.
East n Sites
1 PICTO'
0
WW PACIFIC R. t
THE THROUGH CAR LINE.
PULLMAN PALACE SLEEPERS.
PULLMAN TOURIST SLEEPERS.
FKEE RECLINING CHAIR CARS.
Portland to Chicago Without Change
Quick Time.
Villon l)ciotn.
I'ersoiia
lasriraurc
ersonfilJy Uonaaotea Kjrcnrslonfl.
Ke f 'heckeu to lJeHlliwLticm.
Low ItateK.
Direct line to Trans-Mississippi and
Internatiorial Kxposition held in Oinaha,
Nebraska, .June to November.
Write undersigned for raics, time tables and
other Information pertaining to Union P&cilio
R R
R. W. BAXTER, Gen. Agent,
13S Third St., Portland, Oregon.
BUY THE GENUINE
SYRUP
... MANUFACTURED BY ...
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
gg-NOTE THE NAME.
WILL 4 m COS Ieds.0.!!?"
Plain or with Cutter. The beat needle In the mar
ket. Used by all sack sewers. For sale by ull gen
eral merchandise stores, or by
WILL & FINCK CO.,
820 Market Street, San Francisco, Cal.
YOUR LIVER
Is it Wrong?
Get It Right.
Keep it Right.
Moore's Ilevealed Remedy will do it. Three
doses will make you leel better. Get it from
your druggist or any wholesale drug house, or
from Stewart & Holmes Drug Co., Seattle.
WHEAT
Make money by succeslul
speculation in Chicago. We
buy and sell wheal on mar
gins. Fortunes have been
made on a small ocginning oy trauma in -
tures. Write for full particulars. Best ot res-
erence given. Several years' experience on the
Chicago Board of Trade, and a thorough know
ledge of the business. Send for our free refer
ence booh. DOWNING, HOPKINS & Co.,
Chicago Board of Trade Brokers. Offices io
Portland, Oregon and Seattle. Wash.
N. P. N. C.
No. 83, '68.
w
HEN writ Inn to advertisers please
mention this paper.
flSKeV " Pwass mn UsoXatA
S COT" more surfsce
7lj3, B with greater body and 'SgL
3 tan Vongi irmo any -lead 1n
I" tb world under a forfeit ol I
iif
OF FIGS
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Send for illustrated catalog.
Hercules Gas
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Bay St, San Francisco, CaL.