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About The Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899 | View Entire Issue (June 8, 1883)
Published every Friday Morning
BY M. S. WOODCOCK.
(Payable in Advance.)
Six Months . J JO
Three Mouths t 1 00
Single Copies. 10c
Per Year (when not paid in advonce) 3 00
All notices and advertisements intended for pub
ation should be handed in by noon ou Wednesdays.
Rates of advertising made known on application .
Miscellaneous Business Cards.
M. S. WOODCOCK,
A.ttoriiev ." at - Law,
6. R, FARRA, M. D.,
3?h.y sioian & Surgeon.
FFICE-OVER GRAHAM, HAMIL?Otf A CiO'S
Drug Store, uorvauis, wifwn v
T. V B. EMBREE, M. 0.,
3Ph.yic if in & Surgeon.
Office 2 doors south of H. E. Harris' Store,
Corvallis, - - Oregon.
Residence on the southwest corner of block, north
hud west of the Methodist church.
F. J. ROWLAND,
Blacksmith & Wagonmaker,
Mr Rowland is prepared to do all kinds of wagon-
. , KiAMrQi,at.Mncr in order. He
maKinK. repairing u.i".i."".B
uses the best of material every time and warrants
his work. " " J'
W. C. Crawford,
EEPS CONSTANTLY ON HAND A LARGE
assortment ol waicnes, oiockk, uoc.ijr,
ah ltinrfa of reoairincr done ou short noticd, and al,
Work warranted. 18:38-yl
Eeal Estate Agency.
have some very desirable property on the Bay for
ale in lots from 10 to 237 acres. Some ot this is
ar the O P. R. R. terminus. Persons wishing to
Invest wiU do well to call on me when prices are rea
onable. Address with stamps to pre pay postage
New . Benton County Or.,
R. A. Bexskll
LADIES WISHING TO LEARN THE
Rinker System of Dress Cutting
will please call on me as 1 am ine oniy
author ed aeent in Corval .
Mrs. W. H. Huffman.
F. J. Hendricheon,
Boot and Shoe Maker,
55ift I always keep on himd superior mi-
t.rml a.nd warrant my worK. 1 asK an iiiai
of my goods before purchasing elsewhere.
lMHyr F. J. Hendrichson.
FOR SALE AT THIS OFFICE
THE YAQUTNA HOUSE !
ts now prepared to accommodate travelers
m nrst-class styre ax an nours.
' Meals Only 25 Cents.
Home feed constantly on hand, 8t the lowes liv
ing rates. Situated on the Yaquina Road, Vial way
Irom Corvallis to Newport.
20:12yl. P- R ANT
KELSAY & HOLGATE,
.Attorneys - a,t - Law.
Col. Kelsay and myself have formed a copartner
hip in the practice of the law. The Cols ex
tenence at the Bar and on the Bench and his studious
abits is a sure guarantee that all business intrusted
to us in the line of suits or actions in Court will be
well attended to.
I will continue other business and give prompt
attention to the same as heretolore. bucn as collect
Injr. Benur a Notary Public will attend to convey-
uncintr in all its branches, Deeds, Mortgages, Real
and Chattel, Leases, Releases, Powers of attorney
Contracts, &c. &c. Buy sell and lease Real Kstate
both tarms and town projerty, collect rents, ne
g-otiate loans, search and examine titles, and a gen
ral ae( ncy business.
Am now in brick building and have fire proof safe
for the safe keeping of notes and other valuable
papers left for collection &c
Office in Burnett's new brick, first door at head of
19:17tf E. HOLGATE.
E. H. TAYLOR,
The oldest established Dentist and
the best outfit in Corvallis.
AH work kept in repair free of char ire and satlsfac
on guaranteed. Teeth extracted without pain by
n, use 01 citrous uxide lias.
yRooms up stairs over Jacobs & Neugass' new
orica store, i;orvams, uregon. i9:Z7yi
To the goat raisers of the State of Oregon
am penecTtng an arrangement to
handle all the Goat Wool in the
State and will Fay to all who
have Goat Wool on hand
PLEASE SEND ME SAMPLES
from several fleeces, (aveiage) and I will see what can
oe acme was ine same, i cun t expect this year
to be able to only make a start and the price
will be nominal, but will increase the
price and grade from year to year.
State How Much You Have
NeWDOlt Or. to W. BruW
r 18tf AGENT,
Boots (and) Shoes.
Protzman & DeFrance
3rd and Alder Streets, POUTLANS, OA.
Retail Boot and Shoe House
OCCUPYING TWO STORE BOOMS.
Send for Catalogue and
price List. 2i-ni2
CORVALLIS, OREGON, JUNE 8, 1883.
We have in stock the
Deering Twine Binders,
Deering and btandara Mowors,
Minnesota Chiet Threshers,
u4 . . . - .MJ Cdlln-ntr.r Trrir0 V tVTlrtH
aimnesut wwim mm umh 1 i
mounted Horse-Power, Centennial Fanning irill, cel
ebrated Buckeye line of Seeders and Drills.
We also keep the ceieoraieu nniwwiwr uu
H. E. HAREIS,
One Door South ot Graham & Hamilton',,
CORVALLIS, - - OREGON.
Cora .'His, June 24, 1882.
PORTER, SLESS1NGER & CO.,
Manufacturer audi Jobber of
BOOT & SHOE.
These Coods are Warrant
ed not to rip.
All Genuine have the trade mark "IRON CIAD"
117 Battery Street, San Francisco, Cal.
GOODS FOR SALE AT
MAX FRIENDLY' S
lOOO Men and Boys
CLOTHING A NO TAILORING EMPORIUM
To fit them out in the latest style of ready
made Clothing. Also the finest lot of
Pants Patterns and Suitings
Ever brought to Corvallis.
Call and. Examine Goods.
No trouble to show goods.
Two door. South of Post Office,
CORVALLIS, - . - . OREGON.
THE ST. JOHN
& IMPROVEMENT CO,
1. P. THOMPSON, P. T. SMITH,
It. A. BANKS, W. BYRON DANIELS,
JAMES T. GRAY.
Office) corner First and Washington Stst
Capital Stock - - $375,000
Parties desiring a safe and profitable investment
should call or write for information at once.
Messrs. Buford 8t Waggnor are agents for the
Company in Corvallis and can give information on
value to persons seeking first-class investments.
C3 - r-H
a r 5
8 J w
CO i4 C
1 H r.
(8 G0tS &
Cor. Second and Monroe Sts,,
Keeps constantly on hand all kinds of
Coffins and Caskets.
Work done to order on Bhort notice and at
Corrallis July 1, 1881, 19:27yl.
THE BAD BOY.
"See here, you coon, you get out
of here," said the groceryman to the
bad boy, as he came into the stpre
with his face black and shining, "1
Uon't want any colored boys around
here. White boys break me up bad
O, philopene," said the bad boy,
as he put his hands on his knees and
aughed so the candy jars rattled on
the shelves. "Yout didn't know me.
I am the same boy that comes in
here and talks your arm off," and
the boy opened the cheese box and
cut off a piece ot cheese so natual
that the grocery man had no diffi
culty in recognizing him.
"What in the name ot the seven
sleeping sisters have you got on your
hinds and face," said the grocery -man
as he took the boy by the ear
and turned him around. '"You would
pass in a colored prayer meeting,
and no one would think you were
galvanized. What you got up in
snch an outlandish rig for?"
"Well, I'll tell you, if you will
keep watch at the door. If you see
a bald-headed colored man coming
along the street with a club, you
wiisile ard I will fall down cellar.
The bald-headed colored man will
be pa. You see, we moved yester
day. Pa told me to get a vacation
from the livery stable, and we would
have some fun moving. But I don't
want any more fun. I know when
I have got enough fun. Pa carried
all the light things, and when it came
to lifting, he had a crick in the back
Gosh, 1 never was so tired as I vas
last night, and I hope we have got
settled, only some of the goods hav
en't turned up yet. A drayman
took one load over oh the west side,
and delivered them to a house that
seemed to be exnectina a load of
household furniture. He thought it
was all right, if everybody that was
moving got a load of goods. Well,
after we got moved pa said we must
make gaiden, and he said we would
go out and spade up the ground and
sow peas, and radishes, and beets
There was some neighbors lived in
the house next to ours, that was all
wimmen, and pa didn't like to have
them think he had to work, so he
said it would be a good joke to dis
guise ourselves as tramps and the
neighbors would think we had hired
some tramps to work in the garden,
I told pa ot a boss scheme to fool
them. I suggested that we take
some of this shoe blacking that is
put on with a sponge, and black our
faces, and the neighbors would think
we had hired an old colored man
and his boy to work in the garden
Pa said it was immense, and he told
me to go and black up, and if it
worked he would black hisself. So
I went and put this burnt cork on my
face, 'cause it would wash off, and pa
looked at ttie and said it was
whack, and for me to fix him up too.
So t got the bottle of shoe blacking
and painted pa so he looked like a
colored coal heaver. Actually when
ma saw him she Ordered him off the
premises, and when he laffed at her
and acted sassy, she was a going to
throw bilfng water on pa, but I told
her the scheme, and she let up on pa.
O, you'd a died to see us out in the
gardenv Pa looked like uncle Tom
and.I looked like Topsy, only t ain't
that kind of a person. We worked
till a boy threw some tomato cans
over the alley fence and hit me, and
I piled over the fence after him, and
ieft pa. It was my chum, and when
I had caught him we put up a job
to get pa to chase us. . We throwed
some more cans, and pa came out
and my chum started and I after him,
and pa after both of us. He chased
us two blocks and then we got be
hind a policeman, and my chum told
the policeman it was a crafty old
colored man who wanted to kidnap
us, and the policeman took pa by the
neck and was going to club him, but
pa said he would go home add be
have. He was offal mad, and he
went home and we looked through
the alley fence and saw pa trying to
wash off the blacking. You see that
blacking won't wash off You hav,e
to wear it off Pa would wash his
face with soapsuds, and then look in
the glass, and he was blacker every
time be washed, and when ma laffed
at him be Baid the offulest words,
something like 'sweet spirit hear my
prayers,' and then he washed him
self again. I am going to leave my
burnt cork on, cause if 1 Washed it
off pa Wotlld know there had been
some smotlging someWhefe, I asked
the shoe store man how long it would
take the blacking to wear off, and he
said it ought to wear off in a areek.
I guess pa won't go out of doors
much, unless it is in the night. I
am going to get him to let me go out
in the country a fishing, till mine
wears off, and when I get out in tha
country I will wash up. Say yon
don't think a little blacking does any
hurt to a man's complexion do you,
and you don't think a man ought to
get mad because it won't wash off
do you T
"O, probably it don't hurt the
complexion," said the groceryman,
as he sprinkled some fresh water on
the wilted lettuce, so it would look
fresh while the hired girl was buying
some, "and yet it is mighty unpleas
ant, where a man has got an engage
ment to go to a card party, as I
know your pa has to-night. As to
getting mad about it, if I was your
pa I would take a barrel stave and
shatter your castle scandalous. What
kind of a fate do you think awaits
you when you die, anyway ?"
"Well I'm mixed on the fate that
awaits me when I die. If I should
go off sudden, with all my sins on
my head, and this burnt cork on my
face, I should probably be a neigh
bor to you, way down below, and
ttey would give me a job as fire
man, and I should feel bad for you
evary time I chucked in another
chunk of brimstone, and thought of
you trying to swim dog fashion in
the lake of fire, and straining your
eyes to find an ice-berg that you
could crawl upon to cool your
parched hind legs. If I dou't die
slow so I will have time to repent,
and be saved, I shall be toasted
brown. 1 hat is what the minister
says, and they wouldn't pay him two
thousand dollars a year and give him
a vacation to tell anything that was
not so. I tell yon it is painful to
think of that place that so many pret
ty fair average people here are going
to when they die. Just think of it
a man that swears just once, if he
don't hedge, and take it back, will
go to the bad Dlace. If a person
steals a pin, just a small, no account
pin, he is as bad as if he stole all
there was in a bank, and he stands
the best chance of going to the bad
place. You see, if a fellow steals
little thing like a pin he forgets to
repent, cause it don't seem to be
worth while to make much fuss
about. But if a fellow robs X batik
or steals a whole lot of money from
orphans, he knows it is a mighty
serious matter, and he gets in his
work repenting, mighty quick, r.nd
I he is liable to get to the good place,
while yon, who have only stole
few potatoes out of every bushel you
sold to the orphan asylum, will for
get to repent, and you will sizzle.
tell you, the more I read about being
good, and going to Heaven, the more
I think a feller can t be too careful,
and from this out you won't find
belter boy than I am. When I come
in here after this and take a few
dried peaches or crackers and cheese,
you charge it right up to pa, and
then I won't have it on my mind
and have to answer for it on the
great judgement day. I am goin
to shake my chum, cause he chews
tobacco, which is wicked, though
I don't see how that can be, when
the minister smokes, but I want to be
on the safe side. 1 am going to be
good or bust a suspender, and here
after you can point to me as a boy
who has seen the folly of an ill spent
life, and if there is such a thing as a
boy, who has been a terror getting
into heaven, I am the hairpin, 1 tell
you, when I listen to the minister tell
about the angels in heaven, flying
around there, and I see pictures of
them purtier than any girl in this
town, with chubby arms with dimp
les in the elbows and shoulders, and
long golden hair, and think of my
self here cleaning off horses in
livery stable and smelling like an old
harness, it makes me tired, and
wouldn't miss going for ten dollars
Say you would make a healthy angt-1,
for a back street til the new Jerusa
lum, but you would give the whole
crowd away unless you'd wash up,
and send that shirt to the Chinese
aundry. Yes, sir, hereafter you will
find me as good as I know how to
be. Now I am going to wash np
and go and help the minister move."
As the boy went out the grocary-
man sat for several minutes thinking
of the change that had come over the
bad boy, and wondered what had
brought it about and then he went.
to the door to watch him as he
wended his way across the street
with his head down, as though in
deep thought, and the groceryman
said to himself, "that boy is not as
bad as some people think he is," aud
then he looked around and saw a
sign hanging up in front of the store,
written on a piece of box cover, with
blue pencil, "Spoiled canned ham
and tongue, good enough for church
picnics, ana he looked attar the boy
who was slipping down an alley and
said, "The condemn little whelp.
Wait till I catch him."
tfiBf DON'T AFFILIATE.
A colored man was busily engaged
in sawing wood for Mr. Powis, says-
Texas Sittings, when the latter ob
served that the bosom of the man
and the brother, so to speak, was
adorned by an Odd Fellows breast
"Do the white Odd Fellows and
the colored Odd Fellows in Austin
affiliate?" asked Col. Powis.
"Don't fillyate wuf a cuss, but they
helps each other out."
"Well, that's the same thing, ain't
"No, sir; hits hot the same ding."
"What's the difference?"
The colored man stopped sawing
wood, and made the following ex
planation: "Last week, when dat
norther was a freezing der marrow in
yer bones, I went inter de saloon ot a
white man what totes dis very same
emblem. I Was in distress, rale dis
tress, as t had'n had a dram that
mornin', so I gib him de signal ot
"Did ho respond?"
"He didn't gib de proper response.
De proper response Would have been
to have rubbed his ' left ear wid his
right hand, and to have sot out de
"Then he did not respond correct
"No; sah; he made a motion at d
doah wid one hand and reached Un
der de bar with de odder. I made
de Odd Fellows signal of distress
once moah, and den somefin hard hit
me on de head and knocked me clean
out in de street. Hit Was de bung
started what dat white brother Odd
Fellow had freW at me in response to
my distress sigual.''
"Then the colored Odd Fellows
and de White Odd Fellows do not
"Jest what I told yer. Dey don't
fillyate, but dev help each other out.
I was helped out inter de street wid
de bung starter, but fillyate means to
set out de whiskey."
MINDING THE DINNER POT.
In a certain village Maryland a
small boy kicked up a breeze in the
parish ohurch one Sunday. It eeems
that a certain good woman bought a
call's head and put it on to boil leav
ing her little boy to mind it while
she went to the church close by.
The minister had reached his fifthly,
my brethren; when a small boy stuek
his head in the door and whispered:
The good woman recognized her
son instantly, and began to make
signs tor him to leave the door.
"Mamma!" again came the whis
r this time a little louder than be
The mother shook her finger at
the b-y warningly, and indulged in
other familiar pantomime with which
she was accustomed to awe her son.
But it didn't work worth a cent. The
boy was excited and in dead earnest,
as the denouncement will show.
Raising his voice, he shouted:
"Mamma, you needn't wink and
blink at me, but better enme home
right away, for the calf's head is
buttin' all the dumplins, out of the
Every subscriber to a local paper
should file them. In after years the
pleasure of pursuing the accounts of
happenings that in many cases have
passed from memory, will be greater
than the reading ot events fresh in
local history. Old files of local pa
pers posses an inestimable value, and
often provide the only means of sup
plying missing links in the chain o
history. As the publications of forty
or fifty years ago are eagerly scanned
by the readers of to-day, in search
of scraps of interesting history, so
also will the papers of to-day be of
interest a half century hence. Doubt
less our successors at that tme will
find interest and entertainment in
comparing the business facilities,
modes of living, social events, etc.,
just as we do now the sketches ot
Real Estate AgeiiCyJ
CORVALLIS : 6m.W
Real Kstate Agents, Witt buy, sell, or
lease farms or f a fm proyatlf an
Having made arrangements for c -tfMi
tion with agents in Portland, teai be d fol
ly acquainted with real property m Banttta
county, w'e" feel assured of giving t'Mire tAf
i patronage, all who tanj favor nswb their''
O.- A, wHMML?
Tte Mt Jtti Prafas Aflce
IS r&KPAKED TO DO AUt KI VD OT WORK -VXATLT .
Don't judge a man by his clothes
he wears, for God made one and the
tailor made the other.
Don't judge him by his family
connections, tor uain belonged to a
very good family.
Don't judge him by his speech for
the parrot talks and the tongue is
but an instrument ot sound.
Don't judge a man by the house
he livea in, for the lizard and the rat
often inhabit the grandest structures.
Don't judge by his activity in
church, for that is not unfrequently
inspired by hypocritical and selfish
Don't judge by his like of display
fot the long-eared beast is the humb
lest of animals, but when aroused is
terrible to behold.
Don't take it for granted that be
cause he carries the contribution box
he is liberal he often pays the Lord
in that way and keeps the currency.
Enthusiastic Professor ot Physics,
discussing the organio and inorganic
kingdom "Now it I should shut my
eyes so and drop my head so
and should not move, yon would say
I was a olod ! But I move, I leap, I
run; then what do you call me ?"
Voioe from the rear "A clodhop
per!" Class is dismissed.
A LITTLE PLAIN TALK.
Too many marriages are in this
wiserA pair of gushing simpletons
fall in love, and having spent a few
evening in the lucrative and soul ex
panding occupation of holding each
other's hands, they straightway leap
to the strange conclusion that they
were created for each other, and must
be married at once or else their en
tire future will become an aching
void. Their characters are uniformed
and they know nothing of each other;
they have no money and know no
more about earning a living than
granger Robie knows about farming.
They marry, and for a short time
live in a fool's paradise, after which
comes the grind. In no long time
they learn that they must choose be
tween a life of misery and a divorce.
I would change all that. I wottld
make the road to matrimony so long
and disciplinary that all weaklings
would fall by the way and only the
fit would enter its gates. Then there
would be no desire tor divorce. But
it by some ill chance a badly mated
pair were married, and if both wished
to be free, I would make them free.
The end and aim of human life is
happiness, and every man and
women has a divine right to any
thing that Will add to hie or her
happiness, provided-, it don't disturb
the happiness of othersi
When I Was a young man, which
alas! seems many hundred years. ago,
a vicious public sentiment forbade
the breaking of a marriage engage
ment. It two were engaged, and
upon a more mature acquaintance
the young man becara satisfied they
coid not live happily together, pub
lic opinion forced him to marry the
girl and make her and his life miser
able thereby. And that vicious pnb
Ho sentiment is the fruitful mother
of many divorces. Many persons are
forced by public opinion to marry
against their better judgment and
later on they fly to the divorce court
breaks hef heart and his own by so
doing, society calls him a nobis
young man. And if either of tha
twain appeals to the divorce laws
for relief from the horrible position
into which society has forced them,
then that society Wags its head and
prates of the evil of divorce;
'Whom Odd hath joined together"
let not man part asunder," roars Dft
Dix. How about those unfortunates
whom the devil of a vicions public
opinion hath joined together. It'
people are well married they will
want no divorce. Aud that is tho
true solution of the problem. L. W
S.; in Eastern Argns.
iiac 0 rr
THF VALUE OF ADVERTISING.
On Sunday morning last ail ad
vertisement appeared in the Ztevos t
the effect that certain retail mer
chants in this city would, from and
after the day Following commence)
selling Out at very low prices.' Thu
result has given the gentlemen in
terested a knowledge of the value of
advertising. Yesterday, about 11
o'clock, a News man happened to
pass the store, and noticing five bug
gies in front, he asked himself tin
cause of those Vehicles standing
where they were. Looking into thd
store he observed an unusual num-
ber of persons in it. In a moment
he remembered the closing out saU
and unusual inducements offered let
purchasers through the columns ot'
the News. Forty- seven ladies wera
in the store at the time, and every
clerk as well as the proprietors were
busy as nailers Waiting on their fair"
tf anything else Was necessary to
demonstrate the value ot advertising
in a paper Of general circulation ib
could be readily given; A feW week
since a gentleman advertised lor it
servant. Between 10 and 11 o'clock
he rUshed into the JVews counting"
room and said, "For God's sake takrf
that advertisement out of the paper,
as I have had not less than twenty
five applications this morning." Anl
yet there are some business men
who think there is nothing to bd
gained by advertising. Galoesttnk
Conversation on the easterly sida
of Main street "I say, Dickj how irt
it that your hens lay so much mora
than ours, as I see you carry eggs to
market and we have hardly enottgli
for our own use!" "Well I don'b
know unless it is became father mixes
condition powders with their food.
"Condition powders ? 1 have heard
of them but why do they call them
condition powders ?" "Well t don't
know that, but it may be fa'.her gives
it to the hens on the condition they
Sergeant Ballantine, on one occa
sion, had a lady client named Tickles
Mr. Ballantine said to the judge,
"Tickle, my client, my Lord' Uer
he was interrupted by the Tudgn
saying, "Tickle her yourself my
learned brother," Ballantine, Who is
a great wit, looked glum for a whole;
An old judge told a young lawyer1
he would do Well to pick some of thrt
feathers from the wiugs of his irn
aginatiotl, and stick them into thtj
tail of his judgment.
i ; .
SHAVING A PIQ.
Chief Juat'-CQ Chase in his boyhood gavi
little prairuse of his future career, Me was
near sighted, had a bad impediment in his
speech, and was stoop-shouldered-, sftarhl'i
liuR and slouchy in his appearance and irait:
Owing to the death of his father and the
poverty of his mother he Was adopted hy
his uncle, Bishop Chase, ot Ohio. The
Cleveland Leader tells the following am us -ing
story of his early life: ''One day the
bishop went away on one Of his trips into
the diocese, and told Salmon to quit school
early enough in the afternoon to kill ami
dress a pig. The young man had never
done anything of the kind, but he knew
that he must first catch the pig. He di I
this after great trouble, and finally killed
it: But now this question arose how In
should get the hair off: He had heard that
the farmers usually scalded hogs, and so
ha heated a lot Of water and soused f the pi
in. But he held the pig in too long, and'
the water was too hot, so that the hair iU;
simply set, and would n.t come out at ah:
The futare jurist dug away with his finger
until they were raw, but to no effect. H&
e i:C r.nm Knnda whinh are ihtol
1U . i ;": . 4 finallv hfithniicht hinisrilf of tha lMnhrlii" !
erable. If the engaged youth breaks ". it. . , ,
that engagement and leases the girl
freei he is denounced as base
wretch; but if he marries her and
sets up a little private hell, and
nose" to tail. Everyone congratulated hint
apon the good job he had done, but wWr -the
bishop next tried to shave liimsetf ' tr 4
came as near as feisbops ever do to ifse