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About The Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899 | View Entire Issue (June 8, 1883)
Published every Friday Morning BY M. S. WOODCOCK. SUBSCRIPTION RATfcS: (Payable in Advance.) 'erYer....... Six Months . J JO Three Mouths t 1 00 Single Copies. 10c Per Year (when not paid in advonce) 3 00 All notices and advertisements intended for pub ation should be handed in by noon ou Wednesdays. Rates of advertising made known on application . Miscellaneous Business Cards. M. S. WOODCOCK, A.ttoriiev ." at - Law, CoRVALLlS, Oregon. 6. R, FARRA, M. D., 3?h.y sioian & Surgeon. 0 FFICE-OVER GRAHAM, HAMIL?Otf A CiO'S Drug Store, uorvauis, wifwn v T. V B. EMBREE, M. 0., 3Ph.yic if in & Surgeon. Office 2 doors south of H. E. Harris' Store, Corvallis, - - Oregon. Residence on the southwest corner of block, north hud west of the Methodist church. 19:21-yrl. F. J. ROWLAND, Blacksmith & Wagonmaker, Philomath, Oregon Mr Rowland is prepared to do all kinds of wagon- . , KiAMrQi,at.Mncr in order. He maKinK. repairing u.i".i."".B uses the best of material every time and warrants his work. " " J' K W. C. Crawford, JEWELER. EEPS CONSTANTLY ON HAND A LARGE assortment ol waicnes, oiockk, uoc.ijr, ah ltinrfa of reoairincr done ou short noticd, and al, Work warranted. 18:38-yl Eeal Estate Agency. have some very desirable property on the Bay for ale in lots from 10 to 237 acres. Some ot this is ar the O P. R. R. terminus. Persons wishing to Invest wiU do well to call on me when prices are rea onable. Address with stamps to pre pay postage New . Benton County Or., R. A. Bexskll LADIES WISHING TO LEARN THE Rinker System of Dress Cutting will please call on me as 1 am ine oniy author ed aeent in Corval . Mrs. W. H. Huffman. 20.11m3 F. J. Hendricheon, Boot and Shoe Maker, Philomath, Oregon. t 55ift I always keep on himd superior mi- t.rml a.nd warrant my worK. 1 asK an iiiai of my goods before purchasing elsewhere. lMHyr F. J. Hendrichson. B LEGAL LANK FOR SALE AT THIS OFFICE THE YAQUTNA HOUSE ! ts now prepared to accommodate travelers m nrst-class styre ax an nours. ' Meals Only 25 Cents. Home feed constantly on hand, 8t the lowes liv ing rates. Situated on the Yaquina Road, Vial way Irom Corvallis to Newport. 20:12yl. P- R ANT KELSAY & HOLGATE, .Attorneys - a,t - Law. Col. Kelsay and myself have formed a copartner hip in the practice of the law. The Cols ex tenence at the Bar and on the Bench and his studious abits is a sure guarantee that all business intrusted to us in the line of suits or actions in Court will be well attended to. I will continue other business and give prompt attention to the same as heretolore. bucn as collect Injr. Benur a Notary Public will attend to convey- uncintr in all its branches, Deeds, Mortgages, Real and Chattel, Leases, Releases, Powers of attorney Contracts, &c. &c. Buy sell and lease Real Kstate both tarms and town projerty, collect rents, ne g-otiate loans, search and examine titles, and a gen ral ae( ncy business. Am now in brick building and have fire proof safe for the safe keeping of notes and other valuable papers left for collection &c Office in Burnett's new brick, first door at head of stairs. 19:17tf E. HOLGATE. E. H. TAYLOR, DENTIST The oldest established Dentist and the best outfit in Corvallis. AH work kept in repair free of char ire and satlsfac on guaranteed. Teeth extracted without pain by n, use 01 citrous uxide lias. yRooms up stairs over Jacobs & Neugass' new orica store, i;orvams, uregon. i9:Z7yi QrOAT WOOL! To the goat raisers of the State of Oregon am penecTtng an arrangement to handle all the Goat Wool in the State and will Fay to all who have Goat Wool on hand PLEASE SEND ME SAMPLES from several fleeces, (aveiage) and I will see what can oe acme was ine same, i cun t expect this year to be able to only make a start and the price will be nominal, but will increase the price and grade from year to year. State How Much You Have Address, NeWDOlt Or. to W. BruW r 18tf AGENT, Boots (and) Shoes. Protzman & DeFrance Masonic Temple. 3rd and Alder Streets, POUTLANS, OA. THE LARGEST Retail Boot and Shoe House Xxx Oregon. OCCUPYING TWO STORE BOOMS. Send for Catalogue and price List. 2i-ni2 ornalli VOL. XX. CORVALLIS, OREGON, JUNE 8, 1883. NO. 24 NEW FIRM! AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS We have in stock the Deering Twine Binders, Deering and btandara Mowors, Minnesota Chiet Threshers, Morrison Plows, u4 . . . - .MJ Cdlln-ntr.r Trrir0 V tVTlrtH aimnesut wwim mm umh 1 i mounted Horse-Power, Centennial Fanning irill, cel ebrated Buckeye line of Seeders and Drills. We also keep the ceieoraieu nniwwiwr uu Ketchum wagons. H. E. HAREIS, One Door South ot Graham & Hamilton',, CORVALLIS, - - OREGON. Groceries, Provisions, DRY GOODS Cora .'His, June 24, 1882. 10-18yl PORTER, SLESS1NGER & CO., Manufacturer audi Jobber of THE CELEBRATED IRON CLAD BOOT & SHOE. These Coods are Warrant ed not to rip. All Genuine have the trade mark "IRON CIAD" stamped thereon. 117 Battery Street, San Francisco, Cal. GOODS FOR SALE AT MAX FRIENDLY' S Corvallis, Oregon. WANTED ! lOOO Men and Boys AT J.W. HANSON'S. CLOTHING A NO TAILORING EMPORIUM To fit them out in the latest style of ready made Clothing. Also the finest lot of Pants Patterns and Suitings Ever brought to Corvallis. Call and. Examine Goods. No trouble to show goods. Two door. South of Post Office, CORVALLIS, - . - . OREGON. THE ST. JOHN & IMPROVEMENT CO, Directors t 1. P. THOMPSON, P. T. SMITH, It. A. BANKS, W. BYRON DANIELS, JAMES T. GRAY. Office) corner First and Washington Stst Portland, Orejron. Capital Stock - - $375,000 Parties desiring a safe and profitable investment should call or write for information at once. Messrs. Buford 8t Waggnor are agents for the Company in Corvallis and can give information on value to persons seeking first-class investments. 20-llm2 H P N 0 i P-i CO C3 - r-H a r 5 3. O 8 J w CO i4 C 1 H r. a CO CO CO o o to 1 E o c (8 G0tS & a O AtJGUST KNIGHT, CABINET MAKER, UNDERTAKER. Cor. Second and Monroe Sts,, CORVALLIS, OREGON, Keeps constantly on hand all kinds of FITRNIT UEE Coffins and Caskets. Work done to order on Bhort notice and at reasonable rates. Corrallis July 1, 1881, 19:27yl. THE BAD BOY. "See here, you coon, you get out of here," said the groceryman to the bad boy, as he came into the stpre with his face black and shining, "1 Uon't want any colored boys around here. White boys break me up bad enough. O, philopene," said the bad boy, as he put his hands on his knees and aughed so the candy jars rattled on the shelves. "Yout didn't know me. I am the same boy that comes in here and talks your arm off," and the boy opened the cheese box and cut off a piece ot cheese so natual that the grocery man had no diffi culty in recognizing him. "What in the name ot the seven sleeping sisters have you got on your hinds and face," said the grocery -man as he took the boy by the ear and turned him around. '"You would pass in a colored prayer meeting, and no one would think you were galvanized. What you got up in snch an outlandish rig for?" "Well, I'll tell you, if you will keep watch at the door. If you see a bald-headed colored man coming along the street with a club, you wiisile ard I will fall down cellar. The bald-headed colored man will be pa. You see, we moved yester day. Pa told me to get a vacation from the livery stable, and we would have some fun moving. But I don't want any more fun. I know when I have got enough fun. Pa carried all the light things, and when it came to lifting, he had a crick in the back Gosh, 1 never was so tired as I vas last night, and I hope we have got settled, only some of the goods hav en't turned up yet. A drayman took one load over oh the west side, and delivered them to a house that seemed to be exnectina a load of household furniture. He thought it was all right, if everybody that was moving got a load of goods. Well, after we got moved pa said we must make gaiden, and he said we would go out and spade up the ground and sow peas, and radishes, and beets There was some neighbors lived in the house next to ours, that was all wimmen, and pa didn't like to have them think he had to work, so he said it would be a good joke to dis guise ourselves as tramps and the neighbors would think we had hired some tramps to work in the garden, I told pa ot a boss scheme to fool them. I suggested that we take some of this shoe blacking that is put on with a sponge, and black our faces, and the neighbors would think we had hired an old colored man and his boy to work in the garden Pa said it was immense, and he told me to go and black up, and if it worked he would black hisself. So I went and put this burnt cork on my face, 'cause it would wash off, and pa looked at ttie and said it was whack, and for me to fix him up too. So t got the bottle of shoe blacking and painted pa so he looked like a colored coal heaver. Actually when ma saw him she Ordered him off the premises, and when he laffed at her and acted sassy, she was a going to throw bilfng water on pa, but I told her the scheme, and she let up on pa. O, you'd a died to see us out in the gardenv Pa looked like uncle Tom and.I looked like Topsy, only t ain't that kind of a person. We worked till a boy threw some tomato cans over the alley fence and hit me, and I piled over the fence after him, and ieft pa. It was my chum, and when I had caught him we put up a job to get pa to chase us. . We throwed some more cans, and pa came out and my chum started and I after him, and pa after both of us. He chased us two blocks and then we got be hind a policeman, and my chum told the policeman it was a crafty old colored man who wanted to kidnap us, and the policeman took pa by the neck and was going to club him, but pa said he would go home add be have. He was offal mad, and he went home and we looked through the alley fence and saw pa trying to wash off the blacking. You see that blacking won't wash off You hav,e to wear it off Pa would wash his face with soapsuds, and then look in the glass, and he was blacker every time be washed, and when ma laffed at him be Baid the offulest words, something like 'sweet spirit hear my prayers,' and then he washed him self again. I am going to leave my burnt cork on, cause if 1 Washed it off pa Wotlld know there had been some smotlging someWhefe, I asked the shoe store man how long it would take the blacking to wear off, and he said it ought to wear off in a areek. I guess pa won't go out of doors much, unless it is in the night. I am going to get him to let me go out in the country a fishing, till mine wears off, and when I get out in tha country I will wash up. Say yon don't think a little blacking does any hurt to a man's complexion do you, and you don't think a man ought to get mad because it won't wash off do you T "O, probably it don't hurt the complexion," said the groceryman, as he sprinkled some fresh water on the wilted lettuce, so it would look fresh while the hired girl was buying some, "and yet it is mighty unpleas ant, where a man has got an engage ment to go to a card party, as I know your pa has to-night. As to getting mad about it, if I was your pa I would take a barrel stave and shatter your castle scandalous. What kind of a fate do you think awaits you when you die, anyway ?" "Well I'm mixed on the fate that awaits me when I die. If I should go off sudden, with all my sins on my head, and this burnt cork on my face, I should probably be a neigh bor to you, way down below, and ttey would give me a job as fire man, and I should feel bad for you evary time I chucked in another chunk of brimstone, and thought of you trying to swim dog fashion in the lake of fire, and straining your eyes to find an ice-berg that you . could crawl upon to cool your parched hind legs. If I dou't die slow so I will have time to repent, and be saved, I shall be toasted brown. 1 hat is what the minister says, and they wouldn't pay him two thousand dollars a year and give him a vacation to tell anything that was not so. I tell yon it is painful to think of that place that so many pret ty fair average people here are going to when they die. Just think of it a man that swears just once, if he don't hedge, and take it back, will go to the bad Dlace. If a person steals a pin, just a small, no account pin, he is as bad as if he stole all there was in a bank, and he stands the best chance of going to the bad place. You see, if a fellow steals little thing like a pin he forgets to repent, cause it don't seem to be worth while to make much fuss about. But if a fellow robs X batik or steals a whole lot of money from orphans, he knows it is a mighty serious matter, and he gets in his work repenting, mighty quick, r.nd I he is liable to get to the good place, while yon, who have only stole few potatoes out of every bushel you sold to the orphan asylum, will for get to repent, and you will sizzle. tell you, the more I read about being good, and going to Heaven, the more I think a feller can t be too careful, and from this out you won't find belter boy than I am. When I come in here after this and take a few dried peaches or crackers and cheese, you charge it right up to pa, and then I won't have it on my mind and have to answer for it on the great judgement day. I am goin to shake my chum, cause he chews tobacco, which is wicked, though I don't see how that can be, when the minister smokes, but I want to be on the safe side. 1 am going to be good or bust a suspender, and here after you can point to me as a boy who has seen the folly of an ill spent life, and if there is such a thing as a boy, who has been a terror getting into heaven, I am the hairpin, 1 tell you, when I listen to the minister tell about the angels in heaven, flying around there, and I see pictures of them purtier than any girl in this town, with chubby arms with dimp les in the elbows and shoulders, and long golden hair, and think of my self here cleaning off horses in livery stable and smelling like an old harness, it makes me tired, and wouldn't miss going for ten dollars Say you would make a healthy angt-1, for a back street til the new Jerusa lum, but you would give the whole crowd away unless you'd wash up, and send that shirt to the Chinese aundry. Yes, sir, hereafter you will find me as good as I know how to be. Now I am going to wash np and go and help the minister move." As the boy went out the grocary- man sat for several minutes thinking of the change that had come over the bad boy, and wondered what had brought it about and then he went. to the door to watch him as he wended his way across the street with his head down, as though in deep thought, and the groceryman said to himself, "that boy is not as bad as some people think he is," aud then he looked around and saw a sign hanging up in front of the store, written on a piece of box cover, with blue pencil, "Spoiled canned ham and tongue, good enough for church picnics, ana he looked attar the boy who was slipping down an alley and said, "The condemn little whelp. Wait till I catch him." tfiBf DON'T AFFILIATE. A colored man was busily engaged in sawing wood for Mr. Powis, says- Texas Sittings, when the latter ob served that the bosom of the man and the brother, so to speak, was adorned by an Odd Fellows breast pin. "Do the white Odd Fellows and the colored Odd Fellows in Austin affiliate?" asked Col. Powis. "Don't fillyate wuf a cuss, but they helps each other out." "Well, that's the same thing, ain't it." "No, sir; hits hot the same ding." "What's the difference?" The colored man stopped sawing wood, and made the following ex planation: "Last week, when dat norther was a freezing der marrow in yer bones, I went inter de saloon ot a white man what totes dis very same emblem. I Was in distress, rale dis tress, as t had'n had a dram that mornin', so I gib him de signal ot distress." "Did ho respond?" "He didn't gib de proper response. De proper response Would have been to have rubbed his ' left ear wid his right hand, and to have sot out de bottle." "Then he did not respond correct ly?" "No; sah; he made a motion at d doah wid one hand and reached Un der de bar with de odder. I made de Odd Fellows signal of distress once moah, and den somefin hard hit me on de head and knocked me clean out in de street. Hit Was de bung started what dat white brother Odd Fellow had freW at me in response to my distress sigual.'' "Then the colored Odd Fellows and de White Odd Fellows do not affiliate?" "Jest what I told yer. Dey don't fillyate, but dev help each other out. I was helped out inter de street wid de bung starter, but fillyate means to set out de whiskey." MINDING THE DINNER POT. In a certain village Maryland a small boy kicked up a breeze in the parish ohurch one Sunday. It eeems that a certain good woman bought a call's head and put it on to boil leav ing her little boy to mind it while she went to the church close by. The minister had reached his fifthly, my brethren; when a small boy stuek his head in the door and whispered: "Mamma 1" The good woman recognized her son instantly, and began to make signs tor him to leave the door. "Mamma!" again came the whis r this time a little louder than be fore. The mother shook her finger at the b-y warningly, and indulged in other familiar pantomime with which she was accustomed to awe her son. But it didn't work worth a cent. The boy was excited and in dead earnest, as the denouncement will show. Raising his voice, he shouted: "Mamma, you needn't wink and blink at me, but better enme home right away, for the calf's head is buttin' all the dumplins, out of the pot ! Local "papbb. Every subscriber to a local paper should file them. In after years the pleasure of pursuing the accounts of happenings that in many cases have passed from memory, will be greater than the reading ot events fresh in local history. Old files of local pa pers posses an inestimable value, and often provide the only means of sup plying missing links in the chain o history. As the publications of forty or fifty years ago are eagerly scanned by the readers of to-day, in search of scraps of interesting history, so also will the papers of to-day be of interest a half century hence. Doubt less our successors at that tme will find interest and entertainment in comparing the business facilities, modes of living, social events, etc., just as we do now the sketches ot the past. Real Estate AgeiiCyJ CORVALLIS : 6m.W Real Kstate Agents, Witt buy, sell, or lease farms or f a fm proyatlf an conimiasioa.. Having made arrangements for c -tfMi tion with agents in Portland, teai be d fol ly acquainted with real property m Banttta county, w'e" feel assured of giving t'Mire tAf i patronage, all who tanj favor nswb their'' O.- A, wHMML? Tte Mt Jtti Prafas Aflce IS r&KPAKED TO DO AUt KI VD OT WORK -VXATLT . DON'T JUDGE. Don't judge a man by his clothes he wears, for God made one and the tailor made the other. Don't judge him by his family connections, tor uain belonged to a very good family. Don't judge him by his speech for the parrot talks and the tongue is but an instrument ot sound. Don't judge a man by the house he livea in, for the lizard and the rat often inhabit the grandest structures. Don't judge by his activity in church, for that is not unfrequently inspired by hypocritical and selfish motives. Don't judge by his like of display fot the long-eared beast is the humb lest of animals, but when aroused is terrible to behold. Don't take it for granted that be cause he carries the contribution box he is liberal he often pays the Lord in that way and keeps the currency. Enthusiastic Professor ot Physics, discussing the organio and inorganic kingdom "Now it I should shut my eyes so and drop my head so and should not move, yon would say I was a olod ! But I move, I leap, I run; then what do you call me ?" Voioe from the rear "A clodhop per!" Class is dismissed. A LITTLE PLAIN TALK. Too many marriages are in this wiserA pair of gushing simpletons fall in love, and having spent a few evening in the lucrative and soul ex panding occupation of holding each other's hands, they straightway leap to the strange conclusion that they were created for each other, and must be married at once or else their en tire future will become an aching void. Their characters are uniformed and they know nothing of each other; they have no money and know no more about earning a living than granger Robie knows about farming. They marry, and for a short time live in a fool's paradise, after which comes the grind. In no long time they learn that they must choose be tween a life of misery and a divorce. I would change all that. I wottld make the road to matrimony so long and disciplinary that all weaklings would fall by the way and only the fit would enter its gates. Then there would be no desire tor divorce. But it by some ill chance a badly mated pair were married, and if both wished to be free, I would make them free. The end and aim of human life is happiness, and every man and women has a divine right to any thing that Will add to hie or her happiness, provided-, it don't disturb the happiness of othersi When I Was a young man, which alas! seems many hundred years. ago, a vicious public sentiment forbade the breaking of a marriage engage ment. It two were engaged, and upon a more mature acquaintance the young man becara satisfied they coid not live happily together, pub lic opinion forced him to marry the girl and make her and his life miser able thereby. And that vicious pnb Ho sentiment is the fruitful mother of many divorces. Many persons are forced by public opinion to marry against their better judgment and later on they fly to the divorce court breaks hef heart and his own by so doing, society calls him a nobis young man. And if either of tha twain appeals to the divorce laws for relief from the horrible position into which society has forced them, then that society Wags its head and prates of the evil of divorce; 'Whom Odd hath joined together" let not man part asunder," roars Dft Dix. How about those unfortunates whom the devil of a vicions public opinion hath joined together. It' people are well married they will want no divorce. Aud that is tho true solution of the problem. L. W S.; in Eastern Argns. iiac 0 rr THF VALUE OF ADVERTISING. On Sunday morning last ail ad vertisement appeared in the Ztevos t the effect that certain retail mer chants in this city would, from and after the day Following commence) selling Out at very low prices.' Thu result has given the gentlemen in terested a knowledge of the value of advertising. Yesterday, about 11 o'clock, a News man happened to pass the store, and noticing five bug gies in front, he asked himself tin cause of those Vehicles standing where they were. Looking into thd store he observed an unusual num- ber of persons in it. In a moment he remembered the closing out saU and unusual inducements offered let purchasers through the columns ot' the News. Forty- seven ladies wera in the store at the time, and every clerk as well as the proprietors were busy as nailers Waiting on their fair" customers. tf anything else Was necessary to demonstrate the value ot advertising in a paper Of general circulation ib could be readily given; A feW week since a gentleman advertised lor it servant. Between 10 and 11 o'clock he rUshed into the JVews counting" room and said, "For God's sake takrf that advertisement out of the paper, as I have had not less than twenty five applications this morning." Anl yet there are some business men who think there is nothing to bd gained by advertising. Galoesttnk News. Conversation on the easterly sida of Main street "I say, Dickj how irt it that your hens lay so much mora than ours, as I see you carry eggs to market and we have hardly enottgli for our own use!" "Well I don'b know unless it is became father mixes condition powders with their food. "Condition powders ? 1 have heard of them but why do they call them condition powders ?" "Well t don't know that, but it may be fa'.her gives it to the hens on the condition they will lay." Sergeant Ballantine, on one occa sion, had a lady client named Tickles Mr. Ballantine said to the judge, "Tickle, my client, my Lord' Uer he was interrupted by the Tudgn saying, "Tickle her yourself my learned brother," Ballantine, Who is a great wit, looked glum for a whole; day. ; Ufa An old judge told a young lawyer1 he would do Well to pick some of thrt feathers from the wiugs of his irn aginatiotl, and stick them into thtj tail of his judgment. i ; . SHAVING A PIQ. Chief Juat'-CQ Chase in his boyhood gavi little prairuse of his future career, Me was near sighted, had a bad impediment in his speech, and was stoop-shouldered-, sftarhl'i liuR and slouchy in his appearance and irait: Owing to the death of his father and the poverty of his mother he Was adopted hy his uncle, Bishop Chase, ot Ohio. The Cleveland Leader tells the following am us -ing story of his early life: ''One day the bishop went away on one Of his trips into the diocese, and told Salmon to quit school early enough in the afternoon to kill ami dress a pig. The young man had never done anything of the kind, but he knew that he must first catch the pig. He di I this after great trouble, and finally killed it: But now this question arose how In should get the hair off: He had heard that the farmers usually scalded hogs, and so ha heated a lot Of water and soused f the pi in. But he held the pig in too long, and' the water was too hot, so that the hair iU; simply set, and would n.t come out at ah: The futare jurist dug away with his finger until they were raw, but to no effect. H& e i:C r.nm Knnda whinh are ihtol 1U . i ;": . 4 finallv hfithniicht hinisrilf of tha lMnhrlii" ! erable. If the engaged youth breaks ". it. . , , that engagement and leases the girl freei he is denounced as base wretch; but if he marries her and sets up a little private hell, and nose" to tail. Everyone congratulated hint apon the good job he had done, but wWr -the bishop next tried to shave liimsetf ' tr 4 came as near as feisbops ever do to ifse raue language."