The Corvallis gazette., May 14, 1880, Page 4, Image 4

WKKKLY CORYALLIS GAZETTE
OORVALLIS.
MAY 14, 1880
WILLAMETTE.
E. It. TUOBH.
Tliou restless, nevr-Ur!ng stream
That onward fl ,ws to ocean's waste,
I stand by tbee as In a dream .
And mark how Time can change thy face.
I think of summers that have flown,
Of bright dreams only born to die.
That on his wings old Time has borne
Wltbont a thought or part ng sigh.
My thousshts go back, 1 stand upon
Thy nwi-sy bank. 'Tis evening's hour.
When sky and earth seem blending near.
When rocks and bills, aud tree and flower,
Are wrapt In dewy, mellow light.
Awaiting the starry, silent night.
The grand old forest, far away.
The v.i pory clouds below the moon.
The il' i it- town so slill and while,
Hid by the trees aud by the night
F. ch dear spot crowned by the falling gloom
Has left its shade In my heart, a tomb!
Wnh awe I gaze upon the scene.
And hall forget the days gone by;
Days when another with me stcod
A ud memory fades, loo, with a sigh.
This old lime scene weighs dowu my heart,
My willing teet by the water's edge,
Turu to the wave-washed pebbly shore.
The wave-washed, drifting, arift-wood hedge.
Below my feet the torrent roars,
A thing it seems ol human kind;
Its music steals into my toul
And gives the calm 1 ne'er else And.
I lo k upon the maddening waves,
Kacb running wildly to the sea;
They seem to mock all human strife,
Aud Care the great eternity.
And voiceless wJp my fancy hears,
Aud one torm trrpFe in memory stands
Unworthy oil our idol proves
Aud turns lit asries in our hands.
How fair seemed life. Low sweet and pure
'liial yuuthiul love so holy then.
The past seems but a lairy dream.
And death hangs o'er what might have been.
The y ems go by; I stand again
Aa in that summer long ago;
I view my shatlered hopes, and then
Fottci ve tue fate that willed it so.
And us of yore, the waves still moan
Aud dash their spray upon the strand.
And still tuts ea of life rolls ou
Aud buries hope In Its drifting sand.
CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE.
BY CABLOTTA MOBTON.
Kiomihe Portland Evening Telegram.!
"A thing of beauty is a joy forever,"
murmured Mr. Thomas, as he paused in
the hall, with his overcoat just half-way
off, and gazed, with unadulterated ad
miration, at the blonde beauty of his
wife's new maid, as she tripped airily up
tue long stairway, in the daintiest pair
of slippers that Mr. ThoYnas' apprecia
tive eyes had ever beheld.
"Beautiful as a dream, and wears a
number two. Well, for once I will have
to give Mrs. T. credit for good taste.
Couldn't have made a better selection
than that myself. Got some style about
tier, too."
"Yes, Mr. Thomas, she's got a trifle
too much style about her, to suit me ;
and if you're sure you've got the exact
dimensions of her slipper heels, now,
perhaps you may manage to remember
that supper is ready."
Poor Mr. Thomas. As these words
crashed into the middle of his medita
tion, he started, like one awakening from
a dream, and as he turned and met Mrs.
T 's steely grey eyes looking clear
through him, he swayed and drooped
like a weeping willow, and it was simply
astonishing how quickly his other arm
got out of that overcoat, and how soon
he was seated at the head of the table,
.insisting that "dear Henrietta" should
pass her plate for the tenderest and
juiciest piece of sirloin the platter
a Horded.
Nature had doubtless intended to be
kind to Mr. Thomas, when she endowed
him with an idolatrous love of the beau
tiful; but, alas! it proved a mistaken
kindness, for it happened so often that
when he ventured to indulge his inno
cent taste in that line, he was forced, by
way of penance, to "stand fire" beneath
the battery of those keen grey eyes.
It always remained an unexplained
mystery to him, how it came that his
Henrietta couldn't see things with his
eyes, but the strange, stubborn fact still
remained, that she couldn't. Try as he
would, he had never succeeded in edu
cating her taste up to his lofty standard ;
and now, when she had, at last, by some
unaccountable accident, stumbled upon
an article that "just filled his eye," why
she talked about "too much style," etc.,
and looked holes through him, just be-'
cause he lingered a moment at the foot
of his own stairway.
"Heigh-ho," sighed poor, disconsolate
Thomas, when, at last, his supper was
finished, and he had managed to get his
evening paper between his face and the
scornful darts of Henriettas searching
orbs.
"Mr. Thomas, shall you be at leisure
this evening?"
Mr. Thomas started from the depths of
his paper, and replied:
"No, dearest, I have some work at the
office that will keep me busy two or three
hours."
"I am very'sorry to hear it, I wish to
attend Mrs. Storm's party to-night, and
now I suppose I shall have to go with
Fred and Cora."
"Certainly, Henrietta, go with them
and enjoy yourself as much as as ever
you can," responded the dear, unselfish
fellow, with so much alacrity that the
steel grey eyes were suddenly brought to
bear again, whereupon Mr. Thomas
once more lost himself in the locals of
the Telegram.
How some adverse fate so planned it,
that when he arrived at his office that
night, he discovered that he had con
siderably over-estimated the amount of
work he had to do, that, in fact, he could
finish it all up inside of an hour and a
half, and, like the good-natured fellow
that he was, he immediately resolved to
get through as soon as possible, and
treat his wife to a pleasant surprise. He
would go home, don his evening suit,
and wend his way to Mrs. Storm's in
time to dance once with Henrietta, and
escort her home, which little attention,
he hoped, would put her in a good
humor that ought to last a week, at the
least calculation.
Accordingly, at a comparatively early
hour, he arrived at home, mounted the
stairs and entered his sleeping apart
ment. There he proceeded, without
loss of time, to get on the outside of his
business suit, and stropping the discarded
garments, man fashion, on the carpet, he
opened the door of a spacious wardrobe
and stepped inside to find his party
array.
The light from the bedroom lamps
failed to penetrate the gloomy depths of
the wardrobe, and it was not until he
had felt of every separate garment on the
hooks and clawed a pound of plaster off
the wall that he suddenly remembered
that his wife had taken his dress suit
down stairs that morning to have it
cleaned.
And now arose the vexatious query,
Should he put on his every -day clothes
again, jutit to go down and get his broad
cloth ? or might he venture to sneak
down just as he was ? It was an awful
bore to have to dress and undress so of
ten; but then, on the other hand it
would be an appalling thing to meet that
lovely, golden-haired maid in the hall, or
on the stairway in his present scanty
array.
It was a bothersome dilemma, and Mr.
Thomas. being a man, swore a mild little
oath or two, and pranced around inside
the wardrobe in a vain attmpt to find a
way out of his perplexity. Then sud
denly his feet became entangled in a stray
set of his Henrietta's crinoline, and the
more ho kicked the closer they clung to
him.
Finally, with a heart-rending groan,
he sat down on the hard, cold floor, and
went resignedly to work, trying to un
ravel the tangle.
While thus engaged, he heard some
one softly enter the bedroom, and lean
ing forward, he peeped cautiously out.
Through the half-open door to see who
the untimely intruder was.
To his utter confusion he saw the love
ly nymph of the No. 2 slippers, standing
composedly before his wife's toilet set,
contemplating her own pretty pink and
white face in the mirror.
At any other time, and in almost any
other plight, Mr. Thomas would have
lost himself in admiration of the sweet
picture ; but now he cast alternate glances
at the unconscioas damsel, and at that
little pile of raiment of his that was lying
just out of his reach, on the carpet.
For some moments he was undecided
how to act, but finally concluded to keep
quiet, and wait patiently for the fair ap
parition to vanish. This, however, she
seemed in no haste to do, but turning
her attention to a lovely blue silk even
ing dress that HenriettaJiad left lying on
a chair, she apostrophized it thus:
" Oh, you precious beauty, you're too
sweet for anything ! I'm going to try
you on." And suiting the action to the
word, she began removing such articles
of her own apparel, as would interfere
with the trying-on process.
Now, some idea of poor Thomas' nerv
ous trepidation may be gathered from
the fact that, at this critical juncture, all
the early teachings of a sainted mother,
and all his ample stock of innate modesty
oozed out at the end of his fingers, and
he sat there, on the floor, like ar'crooked
marble statue, staring helplessly at the
strange, mysterious transformation going
on before him.
He wanted to cough, or whistle, or
sneeze, just to let the sweet innocent
know that there was somebody "behind
the scenes," but he "couldn't utter a
sound ; and so ho resolved to "sit out"
the performance, if it lasted all night,
and that too, without going out for "re
freshments" between the acts.
Finally he saw the lovely arms slip
out of sight, into the sleeves of the blue
silk dress, and his eyes would follow the
movements of the graceful, undulating
figure as it advanced, receded, and
floated round, in front of the large
mirror.
"Zounds, but isn't she a beauty?" mut
tered our incarcerated benedict, under
his breath, "I wonder why in thunder
she don't go on the stage, she'd make a
sensation in less than Hark, what's
that?"
"That" was the souni of the front
door closing, and well-known footsteps
coming slowly but surely up the stair
way, and an icy little shiver crept down
our hero s spinal column, as ne inougut
of the sharp, grey eyes that, he felt sure,
would not view the innocent little scene
as leniently as he might desire. He
caught one glimpse of a pale, startled
little figure creeping out of the blue silk
dress, and then he crawled softly back
into the darkest corner of the wardrobe,
and cuddling up to a pile of carpet-rags,
held his breath, and awaited develop
ments.
Crash! Bang! The wardrobe door flew
suddenly open, and. then shut again,
with a snap, and a terrified little bundle
of humanity sank down at his feet, gasp
ing lor breath, but totally unconscious of
his proximity.
Horror of horrors! Here he was, shut
up in the wardrobe with his wife s maid ;
and as he heard the stately mistress of
the house enter the apartment and
pause, he could, in imagination, see
those keen eyes scanning the discarded
wearing apparel of both himself and his'
unfortunate companion. (Jii. it she
should open the wardrobe, and discover
them! .Nothing on earth would ever
convince her that it was all the result of
a strange combination of accidents. A
cold perspiration started at every pore
but just at that awful moment, there
came to Thomas, a heavenly inspiration,
and he acted upon it. Leaning suddenly
forward, he whispered in the little maid's
ear: "Keep still, till she goes down
stairs to hunt us, and then "
"Oh! oh! Burglars! Murder!" shriek
ed the frightened damsel, as she bounced
up and hammered the wardrobe door
with, both fists. Then the door was jerked
open and the girl went head-first out into
the room.
"Oh, Mrs. Thomas! " she gasped,
"there is a horrid man in the wardrobe!"
"There is, is there ? And you undress
ed ancf went in to find him, I suppose?"
"Oh, no, my dear lady, I just
"Never mind," interrupted the cold,
sarcastic tones that made every individ
ual hair on poor Thomas' head stand up.
"If there is a man in the wardrobe I'll
interview him first, and attend to you
afterwards." .
The next moment some long fingers
twined themselves in Thomas' scalp-lock,
and drew him remorsely out into the
light, where his startling state of disha
bille was thrown into strong relief.
"Oh, my goodness gracious!" cried
the blushing cause of all the trouble, as
she struggled into her dry goods and
made forth9 door.
Thomas raised his eyes beseechingly to
his Henrietta, but he might as well have
appealed to one of the everlasting ice
bergs of the polar regions.
"Oh, Henrietta, just let me explain!"
ho implored ; but the awful grey eyes
transfixed him with one, never-to-be-forgotten
glance. Henrietta turned and
sailed majestically out of the room, and
poor Thomas, the innocent victim of cir
cumstantial evidence was left alone.
He has been alone ever since, and as
he wanders, aimlessly and hopelessly,
abont the world, he is sometimes seen to
shudder and grow pale, if, by any acci
dent, his eyes encounter the door of a
dark wardrobe, or a pair of number two
slippers.
Life is put together considerable like
a set of harness. There are traces of
care, lines of trouble, bits of good
fortune, breaches of good manners,
bridled tongues, and everybody has to
tug to pull through.
A brakeman attempted to assist a fat
woman intr tt nrionli of fl, ,lannf fl,A
other morning, when her husband re
marked: "She is a pretty good shoat;
she only weighs two hundred and
seventy."
Scientific Miscellany.
The pitcher plant of Borneo has been
found to be a natural insect trap, incurv
ing ridges effectually preventing the
escape of any creeping insects which
may enter. In order to safely reach the
prisoners thus entrapped a species of
black ant ingeniously perforates the
stalk of the plant, providing in this man
ner a highway by means of which ready
access is had to a sumptuous fare of dead
and decaying insects.
The hats of natives of British Colnm
bia are adorned with figures resembling
tatoo marks. Dr. Dally has discovered
that these marks all have a definite mean
ing, being, in fact, records of events
which have taken place in the lives of
the wearers. Each individual thus dis
plays his history upon his head.
An estimate has lately been made by
Herr Salzer, placing the number of optic
nerve-fibres at about 438,000, and the
number of retinal cones at 3,360,000, in
each human eye.
M. Baoud Fictet suggests the use of
the great parabolic mirror thirty-five feet
in diameter, as a means of concentrating
the sun's rays and securing a degree of
heat far greater than any ever produced
artificially. He suspects certain sub
stances now considered as elementary to
the compounds, and he believes they
may be divided into three elements by
the application of the intense heat in the
mirror's focus.
The idea was long prevalent that the
living bodies of human being and ani
mals might, under certain circum
stances, take fire spontaneously and be
more or less completely consumed.
Alleged cases of this kind were even
placed on record. The utter impossi
bility of any snch result was demon
strated by Liebig, who showed that no
amount of fat, alcohol or phosphorous,
which a living body could possibly con
tain would render it combustible.
A remarkable discovery was lately
made in the region of the Pyrenees. In
a cave of the paleolithic or "old stone"
period there were found teeth of the
cave bear adorned with drawings, some
of which represent human beings cov
ered with long hair. These rude pic
tures must date many thousand years be
fore the dawn of historic times.
It has been claimed by several writers
that more than one of the so-called "an
nual rings" of trees may be formed in a
single season, but the question has never
been conclusively settled. The obseva
tions of Mr. L. Kay in England last year
seem to show that two rings may be
formed in the small branches of a tree
during a season, but that the interrup
tion of growth in summer causing the
division of these rings is too slight to ex
tend to the trunk. Consequently, it may
be considered that the number of concen
tric rings of wood in the trunks of trees'
represents very nearly their actual age
in years.
A peculiar substance has been found
by Professor A. Scacchi in the lava
which issued from Vesuvius during the
year 1631. He supposes it to be a new
metal, and gives it the name vesbium.
An analysis has been made of the soil
of a cemetery in which no interment has
been made for thirty years, and the pro
ducts of animal decomposition are found
to be still present.
A small quantity of the essential oils
of aloes was recently exhibited in Edin
burgh. It is believed to be the only
specimen in the world. The oil exists
only in very minute quantity in aloes,
but two fluid drachms having been ob
tained from five hundred pounds of
aloes.
Some two years since, according to a
. - tj i .
ioreign meaicai report, a gin oi seven
teen received a severe fright, which
within a few days threafter resulted in a
total loss of her hair. None has grown
since, and she remains completely bald
A process has been patented in Ger
many whereby a fur-lika material is pro
duced from feathers in combination with
other textile substances. The product
can be used for a variety of purposes,
such as rugs, carpets, and some articles
of clothing. Feathers otherwise value
less can be utilized by this means.
In Prussia one person in every four
hundred and fifty is insane. A Berlin
scientist attributes this large proportion
to intemperance among the lower class,
and to educational cramming in early
years among others.
Fragments of papyri are still being
found in Egypt, some of them bearing
epistles in (ireek characters.
Origin of the Term "Uncle Sam."
Immediately after the last declara
tion of war with England, Elbert
Anderson, of New York, then a con
tractor, visited Troy, on the Hudson,
where was concentrated and where
he purchased a largo quantity of
?? i i i r mi
provisions Deer, porK, etc. xne in
spectors of these articles at that
place were Messrs. Ebenezer and
Samuel Wilson. The latter gentle
man (invariably known as Uncle
Sam) generally superintended in per
son a large number of workmen,
who, on this occasion, were employed
in hunting over the provisions pur
chased by the contractor for the
army. The casks were marked "E.
A. U. S." This work fell to the
lot of a facetious fellow in the em
ploy of the Messrs. Wilson, who, on
being asked oy some of his fellow
workmen the meaning of the mark
(for the 'letters U. S. for ' United
States were theft almost entirely new
to them) said he did not know, un
less it meant Elbert Anderson and
"Uncle Sam" Wilson. The joke took
upon the workmen, and passed cur
rently, and "Uncle Sam" himself be
ing present was occasionally rallied
by them on the increasing extent of
his possessions. Many of these work
men being of a character denom
inated "food for powder," were found
shortly after following the recruit
ing drum and pushing toward the
frontier lines, lor the double purpose
of meeting the enemy and of eating
the provisions they had lately
labored to put in good order. Their
old jokes accompanied them, and,
before the first campaign ended, this
identical one firat appeared in print;
it gained favor rapidly till it pene
trated and was recognized in every
part of the country, and will, no
doubt, continue so while the United
States remain a nation.
A Boy's Last Hymn in a Garret.
A friend of mine, seeking for an ob
ject of charity, got into the upper room
of a tenement house. It was vacant.
He saw a ladder pushed through the
ceiling. Thinking that perhaps some
poor creature had crept up there, he
climbed up the ladder and drew himself
undei the rafters. There was no light
but that which came through the bull's
eye in place of a tile. Soon ho gi w a
heap of chips and shavings, and on thorn
a boy about ten years old.
"Boy, what are you doing hero ?"
"Hush, don't toll anybody, if you
please, sir."
"What are yon hiding from?"
"Hush ! don't tell anybody, sir: I'm a
hiding."
"Don't toll anybody, ploiwo, sir."
"Where's your mother?"
"Hush! pleaso don't toll anybody.
I'm a hiding."
"What are you hiding from?"
"Don't toll anybody, please, sir."
"Please, sir, mothers dead."
"Where's your father?"
"Hush! don't tell him, don't toll him,
but look here!"
He turned himself on his face, and
through the rags of his jacket and shirt
my friend saw the boy's nosh was bruixod
and his skin was broken.
"Why, my boy, who beat you liko
that?"
"Father did, sir."
"What did he beat you like that for?"
"Father got drunk, sir, and beat me
'cos I wouldn't steal !"
"Did you ever steal?"
"Yes, sir: I was a street thief once."
"And why don't you steal any more ?"
"Please, sir, I went to the mission
school, and they told me there of God
and heaven and of Jesus; and they
taught me 'Thou shalt not steal,' and I'll
never again if my father kills mo for it.
But please, sir, don't tell him."
"My boy, you must not stay here,
you'll die. Now wait patiently here for
a little time; I'm going away to see a
lady. We will get a better place for you
than this."
"Thank you, sir, but please, sir,
would you like to hear me sing a little
hymn ?"
Bruised, battered, forlorn, friendless,
motherless, hiding away from an infuri
ated father, he had a little hymn to sing.
"Yes, I will hear you sing your little
hymn."
He raised himself en his elbows and
then sang:
"Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,
L mk upon a Utile child;
J'ily my simplicity,
Suffer me to come to Ttiee.
'Fain I would to Thee be brought,
Uraolnu- Unii, forbid it not.
In tbe kingdom of 1 by grace,
Giye a little cbild a place."
"That is the little hymn, sir; good
bye." The gentleman went away, came back
again in less than two hours, and
climbed the ladder. There were the
chips, and there were the shavings, and
there was the boy, with one hand by his
side and the other tucked in his bosom
underneath, but the vital spark had fled
and he was dead.
The late Mrs. Mary Chapman, an
actress, well known on the Pacific coast,
was the mother of twenty children. She
not only filled the stage, but she crowded
the omnibus.
Pickings Fron the Poultry Yard.
In no case breed from sickly or weak
constitutioned fowls, as your chickens
will be worthless and also bring disease.
Fowls with canker or roup will commu
nicate the disease to all the rest of the
flock if allowed to use tbe same drinking
vessel.
Ducks and geese should always be
scalded, and steamed by covering up with
a blanket for a short time, before picking;
in other respects handle as turkeys and
chickens.
Cayenne pepper, ginger or mustard for
fowls is quite beneficial. When added lo
their food it will stimulate egg-production,
increase their vigor and make them feel
we!l generally.
Young and quick-fed animals have
more water and fat in their flesh, while
older and well-fed animals have flesh of a
firmer touch and a richer flavor, and are
richer in nitrogen. The former may be
more delicate, the latter will be more nu
tritious. Cabbage is best given poultry whole,
hung up by the stalk. At first it may not
be touched, but when one fowl Degins to
peek at it, the rest will be tempted to
keep on till little remains. Being suspend
ed it does not waste or become polluted,
and it will remain in good condition to be
eaten at will.
Moderately fat animals are the most
Crofitable. Every excessive fat animal
ave been fed at a loss during the latter
part of its feeding. When an animal is
ready for market, sell it; if there is any
feed left, buy some more lean animals
and feed them. The nimble sixpence
brings the profit.
When soft eggs are laid by fowls they
intimate usually that the egg organs are
inflamed. This state is occasioned by the
birds being over-fed or too fat. Spare
diet and plenty of green food, especially
lettuce leaves in summer, or cabbage in
winter, is the best treatment for fowls in
such condition,
Every fowl house should face the south,
and, if possible, be ou dry ground. Any
available ground, protected by groves,
hedges, stone walls or by buildings of any
kind, may be used for this purpose.
Fowls suffer very much from cold storms
and wind, and any protection against
these is very valuable as a preventive of
colds and roup.
HOW TO CONQUEB A B.VLKY HoKSE. 1
would prepare myself with a good strap
I want no whip; perhaps he has got a
taste of that already, and still be is mas
ter. But some day when I was at peace
with myself and all around 1 would hitch
him to the buggy, turning his head to
the village. Ho goes half the way very
well indeed ; then he begin g to consider
that he has gone far enough in that
direction and stops. I step down; he
expects me to use the whip. He is mis
taken. As a criminal I treat him on the
silent system. I push him back a little
out of the way. I show him the strap,
putting it up to his nose. I go to the off
side and buckle it to his off fore leg,
close up to the breast, throwing the
other end over his shoulder; I then raise
his near fore foot and fix it with the hoof
nearly touching the belly. This done, I
say to him, "now. old chap, you stand
there. 1 don t smoke, so 1 take a piece
of paper from my pocket, and, finding a
place where I can sit down and he sec
see me, I begin to read. This is some
thing he did not bargain for, and the
novelty of standing on three legs some
what diverts his mind from the cause
that stopped him. I think this is the
cniei point to oe guinea, ana tue most
humane. He now shows signs of a wish
to go, but that does not suit at the time,
as I have yet to look over "John Caldi
gato." When the strap is taken off I
show it to him, caress him a little, and
we move on without irritation. The
strap will now become a part of the
harness for a month or two, till at last the
sight of it will act as a talisman. Corr.
Toronto Globe.
Death of a Noble Gambler.
The recent death of the Duke of Port
land recalls the career of the most
successful gambler whom the world prob
ably ever saw. At the death, without
male issue, of the second Eearl of Buc
cleuch, whose daughter married the Duke
of Mon input h , Scott of Sttttstar vet, became
heir mare of the housu of Scott, and early
in the last entury Scotstarvet obtained
for his son John an Eiisigneyin a march
ing regiment. The lad had next to noth
ing beyond his pay, and might have con
tinued to eke out existence in military
penury, but for a remarkable aptitude for
cards. As time went on he contrived to
extend his operations, and was enabled to
frequont tho first gambling resorts of Lon
don, then in their heyday. It was the
most hard-drinking period in Knglish
history, but while noble lords and right
honorable gonlluinen sat down to the
curd-table Hushed with wine, Hcott came
with a head as uluur as 7 In the morning.
Ity degrees he accumulated thousands,
than tens, Ihun hundreds of thousands,
llti married u lady Of uKceilent .Scotish
family, hut h only brought him daugh
ters, and he waw anx.iou for un heir, so
iptiie lale lit lift ho bneamo the husband
of the young and biniinitiil Lilly Mary
(lay, diiiigliHir of tho I', ul of Krrol. lint
this union watt not productive of the de
sired rottiills, tumoral Hcott hud an Ai.l-du-('amp
to whom ho was greatly attach
ed, whorottidol with him, and unfortu
nately, Lady Milt v also became slid more
uttncheil to Hum guv gxiitlemuti. Ou the
morning t'flor a dinner putty both were
missing, ' They were ptiriii-l and over
taken, hul, of course, a divorce took place.
Lady Mary hud no child, but (ton, KeOtt
left ut his death three luughlM by bin
first wile, tt became a primu object with
Pitt to marry his favorite, fieoro (JWftftfajf,
to one of these itreut I'O-heirerses, and he
succeeded. Another Instiled Ibo (hike of
Portland, and a third the Hurl of Moray.
But those who think that money gained
at gambling is ill-gotten, ami that ill got
ten gold never piospcrs will feci sustained
in this view by the fact that, although
Mrs. Canning had a sou, that son died
childless, and that none of the Duchess of
Portland's four sons or Lady Moray's two
sons, albeit all grew to manhood, ever
married. A very remarkable circum
stance, certainly, aa regards the Bent.incks,
inasmuch as two, at least Lords George
ami Henry were eminent sportsmen,
and of line physique. Balcoine, the
splendid seat created by Gen. Scott, has
long since been dismantled. His grand
son, Lord Henry Bentinck, inherited much
of his skill at cards, and was long the
prime authority on whittot the Portland
Club, the head-centre of London whist
players. His brother, Lord (Jeorge, was
for some thirty years t he most prominent
lurtitc in England, but never had the luck
to win what his close ally, Ixird Beacons
field, so happily dubbed "'the blue ribbon
of the turf the Derby. JV. Y. Times.
Why She Missed the Ferryboat.
She was to meet her adored one, says
the San Francisco Hews Letter, on the
9 o'clock boat, and it wanted fifteen
minutes of the hour. Her hand was on
the door to go out, when it struck her
that she had forgotten to line her left
eyebrow. Bushing to the glass to rec
tify this, she discovered a small red
spot, commemorative of a departed
pimple. A dab of lily white settled that
defect, and she was about to make a
fresh start, when a backward glance as
sured her that her hat was not as becom
ing as it should be. So she stopped just
long enough to give it a punch over the
left ear and a "hyke" in the back.
Then her "Becamier locks" wanted a
little arranging, and an inch of blonde
must be pinned across the nose. Then
she parted her lips to see if her filled
tooth showed plainly, and that started a
most seductive dimple in one cheek,
wuich suggested a scrap of black court
plaster on its very verge to call attention
to its dangers, like a sign-board on a
thinly-frozen pond. Then she tipped
the glass, stuck in the curling-tongs to
hold it, and .walked across the room with
her head over her shoulder to get a
back view, gave her drapery a twitch
here and there, tried to see how long a
step she could take without bursting the
tapes, gave herself a little shake, like a
spariow after a shower, changed her
four-button gloves for six, sprinkled
Lubin's latest on her handkerchief,
stamped her little French heels once or
twice to settle herself, and, seizing her
parasol in the most approved style to
show the lace to advantage, started for
the ferry, where a smiling official, either
in a fit of admiration or sarcasm, offered
her his glass with which to watch the
fast receding boat, already half across
the bay. m
Beet Sugab Coxtube. Mr. W. W
Harris, of Cumberland, Me., President
of the State Board of Agriculture, gives
his experience in raising sugar beets as
follows: I have raised beets every year
for five years' 1 hrst raised the genuine
sugar beets in 1878 to the extent of two
acres. The soil is clay loam. In 1877 it
was worn-out grass land, cutting only
half a ton to the acre. That spring (1S77)
I plowed it and put in turnips, using no
manure except Stockbridge's special
manure for turnips. I got a fair crop.
In the spring of 1878 I underdrained the
land, and then plowed it once nine inches
with Erye's No. 3 steel plow. Then I
harrowed it thoroughly with Share's har
row. I marked out my rows thirty
inches apart and two inches deep with a
light horse hoe. I then strewed beet
fertilizer in the drills at the rate of three
bags (six hundred pounds) to the acre. I
then covered the fertilizer about one
inch deep. I then ran my seed drill
over the fertilizer and used plenty of
seed. This was late in May. My drill
covered the seed about one inch deep.
When the beets were about the size of a
.slate-pencil I thinned them out, leaving
only one beet to each eight inches in the
rows. This thinning out and first weed
ing was the only work I did by hand. I
afterward cultivated them with a horse
cultivator twice only. My crop was
twenty-two and one-half tons per acre.
The only manure I have used on the
land for the past two years has been the
Stockbridgc fertilizer. Upon land which
was thoroughly manured last year a good
crop of sugar beets can be raised with
beet fertilizer alone. I am going to
plant ten acres of sugar beets this year
on contract with the Maine Beet Sugar
Company. I. shall use no other manure
than the beet fertilizer.
A Determined Bbide. Albany girls,
says the Albany Argus, stand no fooling.
One of them was to have been married a
day or two since, and the girl was all
ready, the minister on hand, and the
feast spread, but still no bridegroom.
"I'll wait for him just ten minutes," said
the girl, "and then I'm open to pro
posals." Ten minutes flew like the wind,
and a little red-haired fellow, with a
paper collar, aud bis trowers all frilled
at the bottom, stepped up, proposed, was
accepted, married, and scooped in the
banquet.
WIT AND HUMOR.
To raise sorghum Goto a dentist.
Jail birds are confined in guilt cages.
The first rose of summer Shad roes.
The clergyman is usually a heart-tie
man.
An, undertaker gets his living where
another man dies.
Ships are frequently on speaking
terms, and they lie to.
What is better than a promising young
man? A payingne.
Could not the doctor's fee be justly
called ill-gotten gains?
If ever a man needed to travel for his
health it is the Czar of Bussia.
A trump called his shoes "corpo
rations," because they had no soles.
A man niuat be a muttonhead to be
always talking about the wether.
The hen knows the man that robs her
nest. She is always lay'ng for him.
It is strongly suspected that it was
Ananias who invented the circus poster.
When a friend wishes to borrow your
money, consider which of the two you
would rather lose.
Fish-worms are beginning to chin the
surface of the earth and look around
for the boys with spades and an old oyster
can. Let s encourage champion swimmers.
They never get sawed in two, boils
never bother 'em, and they have to swim
or sink.
"Wliat on earth takes you off to the
stable so early every morning lately?"
asked a woman of her husband. "Curry
hossity."
Colonel Synge lias been released by
the brigands, and says he will not slip
np in Greece again. A singed child dreads
the ((ireek) lire.
M. de LcKsepa is quoted as saying
Civilization goe on two legs; one leg is
man, the other woman. You can bet
your life it is the man leg that gets
tbe gout which cornea from too much
civilization.
A colored citizen of Georgia fears he
will have to exode to Kanaos. He re
marks: "Nebber seed sieli times since I
been born. Work all day and steal all
night, and blessed if I can hardly make
a livin'."
"What," asked a communistic-inclined
paper, "are kings good for?" Unedu
cated and unappreeiati ve youth, a man
never fully appreciates the value of
kings until the other fellow holds ont a
pair of qneens.
Noble breeder of short horns "Well,
you are a splendid fellow, and no mis
take!" Prize bull "So would yon be,
my lord, if yon could only have chosen
your pa and ma as carefully and
judiciously as yon selected mine!'"
The Boston Transcript says: "These
days no one is safe from the charge of
plagiarism. Brown went to church last
Sunday a thing unusual and upon be
ing asked his opinion of the clergyman
said: 'Ou, his sermon was very good;
but that prayer beginning with Our
Father I think he stole. I know I have
heard something somewhere that it was
strangely like.'"
An African Potentate's Potations.
The Comte deSeinelle, who has recently
returned from the banks of the .Niger
whither he was sent when Marshal Mac-
Mahon was president of the French Re
public, has published a few chapters of a
startling narrative. The Count says that
on reaching Lokodga he ottered the Mi I tan
of that place some cotton goods, whereon
bis Maesiv shouted: 1 am a great sultan
and not a doj-! I don't want your presents;
give me gin aud rum! 1 he Count tho'iglit
he was going to be assassinated, but he
forced his interpreter to say he was not fc.ii
lilish. but French; that he hid never been
received before by such a dog, that he
feared neither hre nor poison.etc. lhl
language having sobered the Sultan, tie
Count gave him a bottle of gin, which
produced another nt ot delirium tremens.
The Count adds that the Sultan is com
pletely abuti, and that he has no author
ity over his subjects, who have imposed
upon him a parliament with which he
gets drunk from morning till evening.
At Ouitcha the Count came across several
English establishments who were rather
jealous ot him, and more inclined to throw
obstacles in bis wav than to help him on
his road. Higher up the country, in the
country or the Mitchis, the Count nearly
saw his travels brought to an abrupt con
clusion. However, the King, after slaying
before him 100 human victims and ex
amining their entrails, declared them
favorable and made the Count a "present
ot twenty wives, the n o victims were
cut into small pieces which were distribut
ed through the city, and the Count, who
dined with the buitun in the evening, was
obliged to eat a morsel and to take a
draught of human blood. Fortunately he
was able to conclude his repast with fruit
and palm wine, the Count writes glow
ingly of the natural wealth of the country,
which evidently requires a good deal of
opening up. (.fall Mall Gazette.
Rupture
JOB PRINTING.
-THE
Gazette Job Piloting House
IS NOW PREPARED TO DO
Plain and Ornamental Printing,
As neat and Cheap aa it can bo done by any
Office on the Coast.
Mil Uonlls,
. tier llenils
Mote Iteada,
Ma einrnta,
P. ojrrammea.
Ball Tleket a.
Invitation
Circular,
Huslue-s 'nrd.
Visiting; 4 Brill,
Lab.
IMMlgra.
Mnall Poster,
fcuvelones.
l egal Ulauka
Bank Motes,
tonluuing- Receipts,
Order Books,
Pins,
TaffS.
.le Kte
-Orders by mail promtly filled. Estb
mates furnished.
$15
TO $0000 A YEAE, or $5 to $20 a day
in your own locality. No risk Wo
men do as well as men. Many make
more than the amount slated above.
No one can fail to make money fast. Any one
can do the work You can make from 50cU to
$2 an hour by devoting your evenings and spare
time to the business It costs nothing to try the
business Nothing like it for money making
ever offered before Business pleasaut and strict
ly honorable Keader, if you want to know all
about tbe best paying business before the public,
send us your address and we will send you full
particulars and private terms free; samples wxrth
$5 also free: you can then make up vour mind
for yourself. Address GEORGE STIN30N ic
CO , Portland, Maine. l:31yl
Fiona a Merchant.
Daytoh, V7. T., Feb. 10, 18T9.
W. J. Ifj&ie, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss Co , 7ff Market street, San Francisco Sir:
The Trus3 1 purchased of you about one year ago
has proved a miracle to me. I have been ruptur
ed forty years, and worn dozensof different kinds
of Trusses, all of which have ruined my health,
as they were injurious to my back and spine.
Your valuable Truss is as easy as an old shoe, and
is worth hundreds of dollars to me, as it affords
me so much pleasure. I can and do advise all,
both ladies and gentlemen, afflicted, to buy any
wear your modern improved Elastic Trnss imme
diately. I never expect to be cured, but am
satisfied and happy with the comfort it gives me
to wear it It was the best 10 I ever invested in
my life. You can refer any one to nie, and I
will be find to answer any letters on its merrits.
I remain, yours respectfully,
D. 13. Bunnell.
Latest Medical Endorsements.
Mabtixez, Cal., Feb. 17, 1879.
W. J. Herne, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss Co., 7u2Market street, S. F. Sir: In re
gard to your California Elastic Truss, I would say
that 1 havecarefully studied its mechanism, ap
plied it in practice, and do not hesitate to say
that for all purposes for which Trusses are worn
it is the best I russ ever offered to the public
Yours truly, J. II. Carothkh, M D.
Indorsed bj a prominent Medical In
nllute. Ran Francisco, March 6. 1S79.
W. J. Home, Esq. Sir: You ask my opinion
of the relative merits of your Patent Elastic
Truss, as compared with other kinds that have
been tested under my observation, and in reply I
frankly state that from the time my attention
was first called to their simple, though highly
mechanical and philosophical construction, to
gether with easy adjustibilily to persons of all
ages, forms or sizes I add this furthertcslimony
with special pleasure, that the several ersons
who have applied to me for aid in their special
cases of rupture, and whom I have advised to use
ours, all acknowledge their entire satisfaction,
and cousider themselves highly favored by the
possession of the improved Elastic Truss.
Yours truly, Barl' w J. Smith, M. D.
Proprietor Hygienic Medical Institute,
035 California street, San Francisco.
A REMARKABLE CURE.
San Francisco, pet 20, 1879
W. J. Ifme, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss, 702 Market street, San Francisco Sir I
ain truly grateful to you for the wonderful CURE
your valuable truss has effected on nty little boy.
The double truss I purchased from you has PER
FKCTLVCLTKKD him of h is painful rupture on
both -il'-- in a little over six mouths. J he steel
truss he haa before 1 bought yours caused him
cruel torture, and it was a happy day for us all
when he laid it aside for the California Elartic
Trow. 1 am sure that all will be thaukful who
are providentially led to give your truss a trial,
fog may refer any one to me on this subject
Yours truly, Wm. Pkbu,
038 Sacramento Street.
This is to crtify that I have examined the son
of Wm Peru, and find him PERFECTLY
CURED of liernia on both sides.
L. DhXTRK LvroKn, M. D.
Surgeon and Physician,
Trussci forwarded to all parts of the United Statss
at our expense on receipt of price.
end Stamp for Illustrated i'atalogae
aud Priee
Giving full information and rules for measuring.
California Elastic Truss Co.
702 Market Street, S. F.
HAL If'S
SAFE AND LOCK CO.
CAPITAL, 91,000,000.
General OfhVe and Manufactory,
CINCINNATI, OHIO.
Pacific Branch,
411 and ii:t California St., San Francisco.
t il AS. II. DODD &. CO., TOKTLAXD,
Agents for Oregon and Washington Ter.
iivLL's patent concrete
FIRE-PROOF SAFES.
Have been tested by the most disastrous confla
grations in the country.
They are thoroughly fire proof.
They are free fr,u dampness.
Their superiority is beyond question.
Although about 160,0011 of these sales are now
in use, and hundreds have been tested by some
of the most disastrous conflagrations in the
country, there is not a single in -dance oil record
wherein one of them ever failed to preserve its
contents ieriei:tly.
HALL'S PATENT DOVETAILED
TKNO.N AM) GROOVR
BURGLAR-PROOF
-.11 a vi- never leen broken oen and robbed by
burglars or robbers.
Hull's burglar work is protected by letters
patent, and his work cam ot be equaled lawfully.
His patent bolt is superior to any in use.
His patent locks canimt be picked by the most
skillful exerU or burglars.
By one of the greatest improvements known,
the Gross Automatic Movement, our locks are
operated withont any arbor or spindle passing
through the door and into the lock.
Our locks cannot be oicned or picked by burglar.-
or exicrts, (as in caee of other loeks),and we
will put from $l,0i0 o $10,000 behind them any
time against an equal amount.
THEY AKE THE REST SAFE
Made iu America, or any other country.
Onu I'll on Hit ml Oollai'ts
To any person who c n prove that one of Hall's
patent burglar-proof safes has ever been
broken open and robbed by
burglars up to the
present time.
C. W. Pool, Traveling Agent.
Office with P. H. 1 'odd A Co., PortlaiiJ,Orgon
C. B. PARCELLS, Manager, S. F.
AUGUST KNIGHT,
Cabinet VInoi
ft
UNDERTAKER,
Cor. Second and Monroe Sta.,
CORVllXlS, 0BE80I.
Keeps constantly on hand all kinds of
FURNITURE
COFFINS ANO CASKETS.
Work done to onler on short notice, and
at r-u;M,ial!e rules.
Cnrvaliu. Jail t. f7j. M:ltf