The Corvallis gazette., August 01, 1879, Page 4, Image 4

WEEKLY CORY A ILLS GAZETTE
CORVALLIS,
AUGUST 1, 1879.
A WONDERFUL BABY.
'Us a wonderful baby, I cannot deny It,
The loveliest, sweetest, that ever was made;
And no sliver or gold In tbe country could buy
It,
Nor Jewels though e'en a queen's casket were
paid.
We humor and fondle, we kiss and caress It,
Are anxious whenever it's oat of our sight;
And we call it pet names such as -queen
lamb," and -'blessed,"
"Dear old precious darling," from morning till
night.
If we have any joys, if we have any trouble.
If over our pathway a dark shadow lowers;
Oar griefs we divide and oar pleasures we
doable
Because of this wonderful baby of ours.
It never is cross, or Impatient, or fretful ,
Like some old babes that you and I know;
And we would be never unkind or forgetful
Of all that to Ibis precious darling we owe.
Its face is all wrinkled now isn't thai funny?
Its step bus been feeble for many a day,
And over the brow where were ringlets once
sunny
There now are soft tresses of silvery gray.
You'll think I am frivolous, may be
Declaring the truth I have surely not told;
But this precious old darling, this wonderful
baby.
So dear to our hearts, is near eighty years
old.
By care and caresses we give to no other,
Her care and her kindness we strive to re
pay; And we tnank the dear Father in heaven that
mother,
With heart young as ever, is with us to day !
Josephine Pollard, in the Christian Union.
Eugenie at Clilselhnrsr.
HOW THE EX -EMPRESS RECEIVED THE NEWS
OF THE DEATH OF HER SON.
Camden House, Chiselhttrst, always
somewhat gloomy and doleful in appear
ance, had early yesterday afternoon re
assumed the more' mournful appearance
which it had worn nearly seven years
ago, when the Emperor died. Now, as
then, the blinds were closely drawn; po
lice slowly pacing backward and forward
in front of the entrance repelled the cu
riosity of strangers. Carriages filled
with friends arrived at the gates, and
ladies and gentlemen attired in black,
first of all signing their names in a book
at the lodge, passed up the dark avenue
of trees to offer their sympathy to the in
mates of the house beyond. It was not
difficult to see, even long before Chisel
hurst was sighted, that many of the pas
sengers in the train from London were
members of the great Bonapartist party
which had just lost its head. Little
groups of Frenchmen clad in black,
Spaniards who remembered the nation
ality of the Empress Eugenie, attaches
of embassies, representatives of royalty,
were all to be seen ere the train drew up
at the well-known station. Passing by
twos and threes into the house they had
been received by the Due de Bassano,
expressed to him their sense of sorrow,
and so departed. At length it came to
my turn to enter, and passing through
the curious panel door which opens into
the reception room of Camden Place, I
found the Due de Bassano waiting to re
ceive me.
As he read the telegraphic dispatch
which told of the Prince's death and the
finding of the body, he nearly gave way
to the intensity of his feelings, protest
ing the while that he had no part in the
voyage which had terminated so fatally,
and that, indeed, it had been undertaken
against the advice and wish of all the
Prince's friends. "But he was so ar
dent, so courageous, and such a capital
horseman," His Grace continued, taking
apparent pride in this last accomplish
ment of his youthful chief , "he was so
anxious to be with his comrades of Wool
wich, and to share their dangers, that
nothing would persuade him to give up
the enterprise. The Empress," the Due
remarked, " learned the news in fact by
an accident last night. Some friend of
M. Pietri, hearing the disaster which had
befallen the Prince, wrote him a letter
which he sent by rail, warning him to
prepare for sad, and, indeed, painful in
telligence. Somehow or other, the Em
press opened this letter, and although
' unable exactly to comprehend its lm
port, feared unhappy tidings. She knew
her son had been ill, and she naturally
dreaded that he had been worse. How
ever, no more intelligence came until
this morning, when Lord Sydney, who
nad received a message irora Jjady a rere,
and also a command of the Queen, came
round to communicate the terrible news
to the Empress, together with the ex
pressions of Her Majesty's sympathy. 1
received him, and upsn me the duty de
volved of breaking the news. I asked
permission to see the Empress, who no
ticing probably the expression of my
countenance that I was greatly troubled,
begged at once to know all I had to tell
her. I said, 'Madame, the Prince is very
ill, more dangerously than he was
when we last heard.' Immediately Her
Majesty exclaimed, 'I will go to him; I
must go, to which 1 replied nothing and
retired. A quarter of an hour elapsed,
and then I returned to her. I told her
that further news had come, which made
the aspect of affairs still graver. She
cried out, 'I will go at once, where is he?'
To which I replied, 'It is too late, mad-
ame, on hearing which Her Majesty
burst into a flood of tears, exclaiming,
'Mon fits, mon pauvre fits,' and I left
her."
Passing through the outer hall as I en
tered was General Sir Dighton Probyn,
who had brought a message of condo
lence from the Prince and Princess of
Wales. In that same hall it had been
my lot, the last time but one that I saw
the now deceased Prince, to see him lead
his weeping mother into a somewhat has
tily improvised court of her faithful ad
herents, on the death of Napoleon TTT.
The apartment had been draped in black;
even the pictures had been covered with
somber-colored cloth; the Bonapartists,
ladies and men, stood around in solemn
silence, waiting till the Empress should
come. Presently there was a rustle as of
silk, and then appeared the young Louis
Napoleon with his mother's hand in his.
A deep obeisance was being made by all;
there were ladies who reverently courte
sied as they kissed the Imperial widow's
hand, and the rest were waiting to offer
their expressions -of fealty, when they,
overcome by her feelings, rushed for
ward, and, embracing the youthful
Prince, kissed him on both cheeks and
quickly retired.
I quitted the hall and went across the
common forthwith to the place where the
remains of Napoleon in. lay. There,
as in the old days, the Bev. Father God
dard still rules, the faithful and trusted
counselor of the Imperial house. He
had been, as was to be expected of one
under whose religious care the Prince
had been brought up, terribly shocked
by the sad news, yet to him there came
also some comfort in the remembrance of
the fact that, no matter how busily occu
pied, the Prince never forgot the obliga
tions of the church. "I remember,"
says the good Abbe, "that just as
his Imperial Highness was going
away to Zululand, I wrote to
him reminding him of the duties which
the Church imposed at that season of the
year, and begging him to remember
these, even though he might be other
wise busily engaged. His letter to me
was one I shall never forget. He ex
pressed some surprise at my having
thought that he could by any possibility
be unmindful of the calls of the Church,
and next morning on the day of his de
parture he came round to me, con
fessed, took the Holy Sacrament shortly
after 7 o'clock, and kissing his father's
tomb departed. I think that the chain
ronnd his neck bore a scapula and a
piece of the wood of the True Cross.
There was a locket attached to it, too,
but for the rest I cannot speak with cer
tainty. All I know is that he left with
every expression of religious and happy
confidence. He did not once think of
the danger which might come to him.
His whole mind was set upon going.
Some endeavored to dissuade him from
the enterprise, but he insisted upon car
rying it out, and I do not think that even
the command of his nearest friends to
stay at home would have weighed with
him. Several times after he went away
he wrote home the most charming let
ters, all full of hopefulness. And it is
strange that only this very morning a
letter was received from an officer named
Bigg, a friend of the Prince, saying how
splendidly he behaved, how glad they all
were to have him there, and how careful
they would be that no harm should come
to him. Speaking of the Empress,
Father Goddard remarked that, on learn
ing the news from the morning papers,
he went to Camden place, and there
found that the Empress had been already
informed of her terrible loss. " She had
almost lost her senses," said the rever
end gentleman a statement which was
otherwise unhappily borne out.
Stepping to the Chapel of St. Mary I
noticed that the outer prle dieu of the
three that stood on the left front of the
altar had been already draped with
black. When last I was in the Church it
was the center one that wore the dark
cloth; the Empress sat in the left and the
Prince in that which to-day bears the
emblem of mourning. The Emperor's
grand marble sarcophagus, " offered," as
the inscription runs, by Victoria Begina
to the Empress Eugenie, and underneath
which is the wreath which the Queen
herself placed there on the first of the
two visits which Her Majesty has paid to
the tomb, was surmounted by wreaths of
immortelles and violets and many an
other souvenir. Over it floated the ban
ner of Napoleon, Knight of the Garter,
and the Tii-color of France; at the head
was a little altar, at which on the 9th of
each month mass is said for the repose of
the Emperor's soul. " I do not quite see
where we can place the body of the poor
Prince, which cannot, however, arrive
here before July 10th," said Father God
dard, "unless we put it in the little
recess which is at the foot of his father's
grave."
ANOTHER ACCOUNT.
Among the letters brought to the Em
press by the last South African mail was
one bearing the Cape postmark, from a
Mr. Biggs, an old classmate of the Prince.
It was a cherry, joyous letter, brimful
of high spirits, and told all of the little
adventures of the Prince Imperial and
his friends, of their manner of " rough
ing it" in the field, and what they
thought of the country and the enemy,
and of their hopes of a speedy and glori
ous end to the campaign. Happily had
Her Majesty laid down this pleasant
epistle when she perceived a note ad
dressed to M. Pietri, whe is at present
on the continent. It was from a friend
in London, and spoke of " cette horrible
nouvelle" from Zululand, and alto
gether was couched in tones of the deep
est grief.
BREAKING THE NEWS.
" The Empress was alarmed and could
not understand it; she sent for the Duke
de Bassano and asked him what it all
meant, what could this horrible news
from Zululand be ? ' Alas' says the
Standard, ' the Duke only knew too
well, and it required all his firmness of
mind to cloak his own sadness from his
august mistress.' ' It must concern us,'
said the Empress, ' for he offers us his
condolence.' The Duke spoke of some
new disasters to the troops and did his
best to postpone the blow; but the Em
press, with the intuition of motherly
fondness, saw through the thin disguise
and cried that something must have hap
pened to her son and that she would go
out to the Cape to him herself! Where
was a mother's place but beside her
child? The Duke faltered and made
some excuse to escape before his emo
tion betrayed him. Lord Sidney had ar
rived below in the meantime, and had
confirmed the painful tidings. After a
brief interval the Empress again sum
moned the Duke; she affected to be com
posed, and insisted that he should tell
her all, that she was prepared for the
worst, and that, if necessary, she would
join the Prince Imperial by the next
steamer. ' Helas! Madame,' said the
Duke, ' c'e8t trap tard.' Too late.
Hardly had the fatal words reached her
when the poor lady sobbed out, ' Mon
Ms! Mon pauvre fits! The heart-rending
scene that followed is of too sacred a
nature to be dwelt upon. As soon as
Her Imperial Majesty had got over the
first awful paroxysm of anguish she was
assisted to the oratory by Mme. LeBre
ton, and knelt in prayer until the arrival
of Abbe Goddard, her domestic chaplain
and her own and her son's faithful friend
and counselor." Corr. London Tele
graph, June 21st.
A New Yankee Flying Machine.
Professor C. F. Richel, of Bridgeport, is
constructing a flying machine, which he
is to use at Coney Island. The india-
rubber sas cylinder is being made at the
Naugatuck glove shop. This is slightly
elliptical in shape, is forty-five feet thsee
inches in length, and about lorty-inree
feet in circumference. The cylinder is to
be inflated with hydrogen gas, and will
have a sustaining capacity adequate to the
support of the machinery necessary to
operate the car, and two men additional,
lacking about one pound weight. ine
whole structure is thus almost upon a
pose. Still it will not raise except by
operating the paddles or "rings," neces
sary for that purpose. Its propelling
agencies are so nicely -constructed that
the car may be raised or lowered, moved
forward or backward, or propelled in a
circle, at the will of tbe operator. It is a
very ingenious affair throughout, and
throws other machines of the sort in the
background. New Haven Palladium.
The worst and the most unendurable of
all our ills are imaginary ones. ifm
"Summer Boarders."
He came to this office yesterday to see
about getting out an illustrated cata
logue. He was a nice old man, and hon
est in his convictions. He lives out from
the city about eight miles on Napoleon
creek, and it suddenly occurred to him
the other day that his place was a beauti
ful summer resort, and that his facilities
for taking a few boarders should be pub
lished.
" Fust," he began, as he removed his
ancient tile, " Napoleon creek flows right
by the door, and there s alius at least a
foot of water m it all summer long,
Nicest place in the world for a woman
to learn to swim. No sharks, allegators
or snakes to bother em, and they Kin
splash aroun in harmless glee.
"Any fish in it?"
"Yes, sir-e-e, there be. They are
small, to be sure, but all you've got to do
is to catch more of em in a day. Alapo
leon creek can't be beat. sir. for an at
traction, and it furnishes the best kind of
water for washing clothes. We save six
bars of soap every week by using this
water.
"Well."
" Wall, then there's a hill in the dis
tance over on Squar Fuller s farm.
tell ye that hill looks lovely to a boarder
sittin' on the back verandy ! It's kinder
bold and defiant, and kinder soft and
pleadin', and the sight makes a man feel
sort of awed and humbled. The hill's a
big thing," sir, and it's going to be a
draw."
" Yes."
" Then there's the medder and a white
school-house beyond. Then, on 'tother
side is the big stub that was struck b;
lightning. Boarders can take home al
the splinters they want to, and my boy
Dan can tell 'em all about how the pieces
flew. This stub is going to git 'em sir
can t help it. It combines romance and
the power of lightning together, and
boarders will stand around thar with
their mouths open and tongues hanging
out.
"Anything else?"
" Anything else ?" he repeated in an
injured tone. " Well, I should say there
was ! There's sheep gamboling o'er the
lea, and they are going to draw; there's
cows wading through Napoleon creek,
and that will fetch 'em ; there's an old
fanning mill which the children kin turn,
and they'll cry to sit up all night; there's
a grove with mor'n forty birds in it, and
boarders kin take the kitchen chairs right
out thar'; then I'm going to break two
colts this summer and have a lightning
rod put up, and tween me n the old
woman we'll make it a perfect paradise
around thar .
" And your prices ?"
" Wall, bein' that this is the fust year,
we shan't b'ar down very heavy. I want
to git folks in the habit of comin' out
there, and kinder advertise her up, and
bimeby we can make sunthin'. Don't
forget to say that we have family prayers
twice a day. That'll be another big
draw, you see. Dan he sings bass, my
wife sings a sort of soprano, I sing
awlto, and Sophia Jane accompanies us
on the melodeon, and I tell you it's
sweet. That'll get 'em hard, and on ex
tra occasions I kin prevail on the Edison
boys to come over and help us. One
plays the bass drum and the other a
mouth organ, and they can't help but
draw, lou jest orter hear em play
' Uaby Mine once !
"Beautiful, is it?"
" Beautiful ! Why, it just melts you
right down, and you don't care whether
there s flies in the milk or not. Wall,
good bye. Work 'er up strong and don't
forget Napoleon creek and the women in
swimming.
A Tragedy of the Circus.
About eight o'clock yesterday forenoon
a man whose form was full of wrinkles
and kinks and twists crawled out of a
coal-shed on the wharf, and began yawn
ing and rubbing his eyes like one who
had put in a heavy night. A policeman
lounged that way, gave the man a look
ing over and asked:
" Sleep in there last night? "
" Yaas, kinder," was the reply.
" Looking for work?"
" N-n-o, not exactly."
" You'll be run in if you hang around
in this way," remarked the officer.
The man put his hands on top of a
snubbing-post, laid his chin on his
hands, and after a long look at Canada
he turned and said:
" I dunno exactly what I'm going to
do. I did live out here about eight
miles, but I've separated from the old
woman. Yes, separated last night.
" What's the trouble ? "
"Waal, she was my second, and I was
her second, and we never got along any
too sweet. We both of us think we
know it all, and neither feels like giving
in. We came in to see the circus."
"Ah! you did?"
" And that's where the separation took
place right in front of the sacred hye
nas from Japan. You know they adver
tised an electric light there."
"Yes."
"Well, we'd never seen one. When
we go, into the menagerie there stood the
elephant. Then came the camels. Then
we came to a darned old bear. Further
on were the lions and tigers and monkeys,
but no electric light. We walked three
times around that old tent without com
ing to his cage, and I got mad. Says I
to one of the chaps over the rope:
' Whar' in thunder is the cage with the
electric light in ? We want to see him
or have our money back!' The feller
grinned all over, and lots of folks laffed
right out, and my wife she flew up and
said I'd made a fool of myself. ' How ? '
says I. ' Why, the electric light is not
an animal at all,' says she; 'but it has
something to do with the clown.' We
had a big jaw right there. She caved my
hat in, and I broke her parasol, and then
I separated."
" And you won't make, up ? "
" Make up! Never! She can take the
electric light and bake and eat him, but
I'm a man who never crawls! I'm going
down to Toledo, I am, and by this time
to-morror IH be drunker'n a hoss! "
" And you didn't see the electric light
after all?"
" No! I don't believe they had any.
Maybe they thought they could work
that 'ere rhinoceros off on the public by
another name, but I tumbled in a minit.
I'm an old rhinos myself, and my wife
is another, and when I think of how I
stood there and let her call me a fool
afore all the people, I'm mad 'nnff to
walk clear home and pizen her half of
the yoke of oxen."
Gen. Gourko, Governor of St. Peters
burg, is a very practical man. He re
ceived a letter which said he would be
poisoned. Not at all alarmed, he sent
for his cook, and thus addressed that per
sonage : " You see this letter. Bead it.
Very well. Now keep in mind, the first
time I get the colic I will hang yon."
Beal Life Romance.
Since last New Year's a certain young
lady living on Lexington avenue has been
the recipient of marked attention from a
rather fast young man of "great expecta
tions" and the son of a wealthy merchant
latelv retired from business. This young
girl for she is only 18 years old is not
beautiful, out more or tne oraer canea
charmine : slender and lithe in figure,
delicate in feature, with hazel eyes and a
quantity of soft brown hair usually worn
in a chatelaine braid ; winning in her
manners and tasteful as a .trench woman
in the arrangement of her simple toilet.
She was alwavs noticeable and well
known in the upper portion of the ave
nue upon which she resided. Her
mother, a straight-laced widow in strait
ened circumstances, eked out a scanty in
come bv taking boarders, including cer
tain young men about town, and it was
in calling upon one ot tnem tnat tne mer
chant's son first saw the maid with the
nut-brown hair. Then followed the usual
routine of Central Park and ice cream,
rows on the river, and moonlight meaa-
derings, with a liberal dash of love
making ; but, alas ! no mention of mar
riage. The mother, foolishly proud of the
handsome and apparently wealthy wooer,
did not worry herself about the wedding.
She took for granted that would follow,
and the daughter was too infatuated
to doubt the honor of her lover. At last,
however, he proposed a secret marriage,
alleging as the reason that his "great ex
pectations" would never be fulfilled
should his father become aware of what
he would consider a mesalliance. The
young girl begged that her mother might
be taken into their confidence, but to this
the gallant youth would not accede, and
finally, by dint of much persuasion and
appeals to her love, he won her consent
to meet him at the Astor House, where
he would come provided wjth a license,
and thev could be quietly married.
The evening came, and in a dress of
Quaker gray, and nothing suggestive ot
bridal about her save a cluster ot wnite
flowers that, womanlike, she could not
resist wearing at her neck, she stole
quietly out of the house on pretense of
visiting a mend, and, taking the cars, was
soon at the Astor House. With a beating
heart she entered the empty parlor, where
in a few moments she was joined by her
lover. As he approached sbe timidly
inquired if he had procured the license.
Some touch of shame must have en
tered this man's bad heart, for on the spot
he confessed he could not marry her, it
would ruin bis present and future pros
pects when it was found out as it was
sure to be; but if she loved him truly she
would not desert him now. What differ
ence could a few sentences mumbled over
them by a man in black make?
At his words shame and terror took pos
session of the girl, but before she could
reply the door opened and her mother,
outraged and indignant, walked in. At
the sight of her the poor girl gave a con
vulsive gasp, and as quick as thought
drew from her pocket a vial of laudanum,
took a swallow and threw the vial out of
the window. Then a violent scene ensued
between the mother and the lover, though
neither seemed to suspect that the daugh
ter had taken sufficient of tbe drug to
endanger her lite.
The three left the hotel, but had only
walked a short distance when the girl,
with a low groan, sank to the ground in
sensible. Terribly alarmed, the young
man hailed a passing cab, and, lifting her
into it, drove at once to the (Jliambers-
street hospital. There she was put under
the care of Dr. G. W. Davis, and prompt
and efficient treatment soon restored her
senses. Two days and nights she lay
there, to ill to be moved, during which
time the mother untouched by her suf
ferings, constantly upbraided and re
proached her, until those about inter
fered. The lover, thoroughly frightened, called
frequently to see her, and vowed on his
knees by her bedside that it she would
only get well, come what would, he would
marry her. On the third day the sick
girl was lifted into a carriage, and, with
her two companions, drove away where,
is only to be guessed, for the mother gave
a fictitious name at the hospital, the young
man withheld his, and 'tis only the wise
who know. J. x. tfraphtc.
A New German Prince. Count Bedern,
tbe Lord High Chamberlain of the Em
peror of Germany, has just been created
Prince: He is a distinguished musician,
who has written more than one opera,
and composed a gteat deal' of highly
meritorious chamber music. The new
Prince is now seventy-seven years old,
and has no son to succeed to his honors.
He is one of the wealthiest noblemen in
North Germany, possessing an enormous
landed estate. Much of this wealth came
to him with his wife, the daughter and
heiress of the great Hamburg millionaire,
Senator Jenisch, a lady of extraordinary
intelligence and spirit, who died four
years ago. At the time of the marriage
etiquette and caste prejudices exercised
despotic control at the Prussian Court,
and, despite Countess Bedern's enormous
wealth, remarkable beauty and eminent
intellectual endowments, she was not
considered well-born enough to ace that
circle of blue-blooded Junkers. She was,
however, presented soon after her mar
riage; and Frederick William IV., who
never could forego an opportunity of say
ing what he considered to be a good thing,
no matter what embarrassment or pain
it might inflict upon the person he ad
dressed, after acknowledging the youth
ful bride's profound obeisance, exclaimed,
in a voice sufficiently loud to be heard by
all the distinguished' personages present,
"Ah ! Countess Bedern by the way, tell
me : What was it your father dealt in ? "
The Countess drew herself up to her full
height from the reverential attitude in
which she had been standing before tbe
throne and Teptied, "My father, your
Majesty, dealt in integrity and intelli
gence : The .King took nis iair subject's
rebuke like a gentleman, without mani
festing the least resentment, and subse
quently always paid marked attention to
the high-spinted lady who had .ven
tured to reprove him before his whole
Court for a singularly ill-advised utter
ance. He otten told tne story against
himself in after years, and was wont to ob
serve, with evident relish of Madame de
Kedern's prompt and digmhed repartee,
that "he had never before or since been
so well answered as by the daughter of
the Hamburg tradesman." . -
' ' You've been to the salon ?" " Ever
since the opening." " What have you
seen ? "J?oulard is much worn and
much gendarme blue. In short, many
fantastic costumes " " But the pic
tures ! " " Oh, I'll go again to see them."
At a recent fancy dress ball in London
a crusader in armor was so well made
np, and sat so still that " Atlas" tapped
on him with his knuckles to find out
whethtr he was real. He proved to be
living, and forgiving.
There was a case not a very long time
since where it became necessary to draw
a cork, and the only one present of a
large party having a pocket corkscrew
was a clergyman. He remarked that he
used it to open ink-bottles.
The Bashful Poet and the Knowing
Young Newspaper Man.
rBurlineton Hawkeye.J
Anybody could tell what he had.
Every man in the sanctum knew in a
minute. The timid knock at the door
gave him clear away at the very start.
No man or woman ever knocks at a sanc
tum door unless he comes on that fatal
errand. Then he came inside and took
off his hat and bowed all round the room,
when every man on the staff roared out,
in terrible chorus, " Come in! " Then
he asked for the editor, and when the
underlings, with a fine mingling of
truth and grammar, pointed to the
youngest and newest man in the office,
and yelled, " That's him! " he walked up
to the young gentleman designated, and
before he could unroll his manuscript,
we knew the subject of it, and a deep
groan echoed around the room.
"Poetry, young man?" asked the
editor.
"Yes, sir," said the poet; "a couple
of triolets and a sonnet on the marriage
of my sister and an old college friend."
" Old college friend, male or female,
young man ? " asked the editor, severely.
" Male, sir," said the young man.
He said "sir" every time, and every
time he said it all the young gentlemen
of the staff, save the young gentleman
who personated the Governor, snickered.
He looked severe.
"Anything more, young man?" he
asked.
" Yes, sir," replied the infant Tenny
son; " a kind of an idyl, an ode inscribed
'To My LostLove."f
" Love been lost very long, young
man ? " asked the journalist, very criti
cally. " Well, it's immaterial, that is," stam
mered the young man; " it's indefinite
it's"
"Ever advertised, for it?" asked the
reporter who was writing a puff for
Slab's tombstones, but he was instantly
frowned down.
" Anything more ?" asked the princi
pal interlocutor; " anything more, young
man?"
" Yes, sir," was the hopeful response,
" a threnody in memory of my departed
brother."
" Brother dead, young man, or only
gone to Sagetown ?
" Dead, sir."
" Your own brother ? "
" No, sir; I never had a real brother;
it's only imaginary."
" Ca't take this, then, young man,"
was the chilling reply. ' Poetry, to
find acceptance with the Hawkeye, must
be true. Haveto reject this threnody,
not because it is not very beautiful, but
because it is not true. Now, how much
do you want for these others ? " And he
fingered them over like a man buying
mink skins.
The poet really didn't know. He had
never published before; he had barely
dared hope to have his verses published
at all. A few copies of the paper con
taining them, he was sure
"Oh, no," the editor broke in; "oh,
no, no, sir, can't do that; we don't do
business that way; if a poem or sketch is
worth publishing it is worth paying for.
Would $15 pay you for these ? ,r
The poet blushed to the floor with
gratitude, and the young journalist
grandly wrote out an order and handed
it to the poet.
"Take that to the Court House," he
said, " and the Auditor's clerk will give
you the money."
The poet bowed and withdrew, and
with great merriment the journalists
burned his poems and resumed their
work.
That wasn't the funny part of it, how
ever. The next day the simple-minded
poet presented his order to the clerk
designated, and it was so that the clerk
owed the paper $18 for subscription and
advertising, and he promptly cashed the
order and turned it in when his bill was
'presented, and the manager just charged
it to the salary account of the smart
young journalist who signed the order,
and the happiest man and the maddest
man in America are living in Burlington.
One of them is a happy, green, unso
phisticated young machine poet, and the
other a wide-awake, up-to-snuff, know-the-world,
get-up-and-dust young jour
nalist, who is already a rival of Horace
Greeley in the verbal departments of
journalism.
The fool and his money gather no moss.
Bvffalo Express. Which suggests that a
rolling stone is soon departed. Philadel
phia Bulletin. And when you seek the
truth you find a woman at the bottom.
N. Y. Graphic.
JOB PRINTING.
-THE
Gazette Job Printing House
IS NOW PBEPABED TO DO
Plain and Ornamental Printing,
As neat and Cheap as it can be done by any
Office on the Coast.
Mil Htadi,
letter Beads.
Mote beads,
Statements,
Programmes,
Ball Tlekef s.
Invitations
Circulars,
BualaeM cards.
Visiting Cards,
Labels.
Dodgers.
bntall Pesters,
Envelopes.
Legal Blanks
Bank Botes,
sMsplBC Receipts,
Order Boo Vs.
Duns,
Tags.
Cte., Etc
Sr-Orders by mail promptly filled. Esti
mates furnished.
AUGUST KNIGHT,
CABINET MAKES,
AND
UNDERTAKER,
Cor. Second and Monroe Sta,,
COBTAX.ua. OBBOOB.
Keeps constantly on hand all kinda of
FURNITURE.
Work done to order on short notice, and
at reasonable rates.
Corvallia. Jan. 1. 1877. 14:ltf
SAFE 4l LOCK COMPANY.
CAPITAL . 1,000,000.
General Offices and Manufactory
CINCINNATI, OHIO.
PACiric Brakch,
No. 210 Sansome St., S. F
Agency for Oregon and Washington Territory,
with HAWLEY, DODD A CO., Portland.
HALL'S PATENT CONCRETE
FIRE-PROOF SAFES.
Have been tested by the roost disastrous confla
grations in the country.
They are thoroughly fire-proof.
They are free from dampness.
Their superiority is beyond question.
Although shout 150,000 of these safes are now
in use, and hundreds have been tested by some
of the most disastrous conflagrations in the
country, there is not a single instance ou record
wherein one of them ever failed to preserve its
contents perfectly.
HALL'S PATENT DOVETAILED
TENON AHD GBOOVS
BURGLAR-PROOF
NAFES.
Have never been broken open and robbed by
burglars or robbers.
Hall's burglar work is protected by letters
patent, and his work cannot be equaled lawfully.
His patent bolt is superior to any in use.
His patent locks cannot be picked by the most
skillful experts or burglars.
By one of the greatest improvements known,
the Gross Automatic Movement, our locks are
operated without any arbor or spindle passing
through the door and into the lock.
Our locks cannot be opened or picked by bur
glars or experts, (as in case of other locks), and we
will put from $1,000 io $10,000 behind them any
time against an equal amount.
The most skilled workmen only are employed.
Their work cannot be excelled.
Hall's Safes and Locks can be relied on at all
times.
They are carefully and thorughly constructed.
THEY ARE THE BEST SAFE
Made in America, or any other country.
One Thousand Dollars
To any person who can prove that one of Hall's
patent burglar-proof safes has ever been
broken open and robbed by
burglars up to the
present time.
K. S. WILLIAMS,
Agent for Oregon and W. T.
Office wiih Hawloy, L'odrt Ca..
28febl6:9tf. Portland.
Rees Hamiis.
Emmett F. Wbenn.
DRAYAGE !
DRAYACE !
Hamlin & Wrenn. Propr's.
HAVING JUST RETURNED FROM
Salem with a new truck, and having
leased the barn formerly occupied, by James Eg
lin, we are now prepaied to do all kinds of
D RAYING AND HAULING,
either in the city or country, at the lowest living
rates. Can be found at the old truck stand. A
share of the public patronage respectfully solic
ited. Corvallis, Dec. 27, 1878. 15:S2tf
H. JE. HARRIS,
One door South of Graham A Hamilton's,
COBTALUs,
GROCERIES.
PROVISIONS
AND
Dry Goods.
Corvallis, Jan. 3, 1878. 16:1 vl
DRAKE & GRANT,
MERCHANT TAILORS,
CORVALLIS. -
yjE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A LARGE
and well selected stock of Cloth, viz :
West off Kngland Broad
Cloths, i-'rench l asslmcres,
ecotch Tweeds, and
American J uUIiikj,
Which we will make up to order in the most
approved and fashionable styles. No pains will
be spared in producing good fitting garments.
Parties wishing to purchase cloths and have
them cut out, will do well to call and examine
our stock. DRAKE & GRANT.
Corvallis, April 1 7, 1879. I6:16tf
Boarding- and Lodging.
Philomath, Ben to a Co , Uncos.
GEORGE KISOR,
"RESPECTFULLY INFORMS THE TRAV
eling public that he is now prepared and in
readiness to keep such boarders as may choose to
give him a call, either by the
SINGLE MEAL. DAY. OR WEEK.
Is also prepared to furnish horse feed. Liberal
hare of public patronage solicited. Give us a
call. GEORGE KISOR.
Philomath, April 28, 1879. I0:18tf
Albeet P yg ail . William Ibwin.
PYGALL, & IRWIN,
City Trucks & Drays,
TT A VING PURCHASED THE DRAYS AND
Trucks lately owned by James Eglin, we
are prepared to do all kinds of
City Hau'lng. uellverlnu of
Wood. Etc., Eic,
in the city or country, at reasonable rates. Pat
ronage solicited, and satisfaction guaranteed in all
cases. ALBERT PYGALL,
WILLIAM IRWIN.
Corvallis, Dee. 20, 1878. 15:5ltf
J. C. MORE LA N D,
(city attorney.)
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
PORTLAND, OKKOM.
OFFICE Monastes' Brick, First street,
between Morrison and Yamhill. 14:38tf
THK STAB BAEBBT,
la Street, Corvslll.
HENRY WARRIOR, PROPRIETOR.
Family Supply Store !
Groceries, .-
Bread.
Cakes,
Pies, -,
Candies
Toys,,
JBSft&s
Always on nana. i
CorvaUia, Jan. 1,1877. 14:2tf I
BOOKS WHICH ARE BOOKS
" Good Books tor JL1L"
Works whioh should be found In every library
within the reach of all readers. Works to en
tertain, instruct and improve. Copies will
sent by return post, on receipt of price.
New Physioanomy; or Signs of Character, as
manifested through Temperament, and Exter
nal Forms, and especially in the Human Face
Divine. Wuh more than One Thousand Illu
trations. By Samuel R. Wells. 768 pages.
Heavy muslin. $5.60.
Hydropathic Encyclopedia ; A system of Hygiene,
embracing Outlines of Anatomy, Physiology
of the Human Body; Preservation of Health
Dietetics and Cookery ; Theory and Practice of
Hygienic Treatment; Special Pathology and
Therapeutics, including the Nature, Causes
Symptoms and Treatment of all Known Dis
eases. By R. T. Trail, M. D. Nearly 1000
pages. $4.00.
Wedlock; or The Right Relations of the Sexes.
A Scientific Treatise, disclosing the Laws of
Conjugal Selection. Showing Who May and
Who May Not Marry. By Samuel R. Wells.
$l00a
Sow to Head; and Hints in Choosing the Best
Books, with a Classified List of Works of Bio
graphy, History, Criticism, Fine Arts, Poetry,
Fiction, Religion, Science, Language, etc. By
Amelie V. Petitt. 220 pages. 12 mo, muslin.
$1.00.
Bow to Write; a Manual of Composition and
Letter-Writing. Muslin, 75c.
Sow to Talk; a Manual of Conversation and
Debate, with mistakes in Speaking corrected.
75c.
Sow to Behave; a Manual of Republican Eti
quette and Guide to Correct Personal Habits,
with Rules for Debating Societies. Muslin
75c
Sow to do Business ; a Pocket Manual of Practi
cal Affairs and a guide to Success, with a col
lection of Legal Forms. Muslin, 75c.
Cftot'ce of Pursuits; or What to Do and How to
Educate Each Man for his Proper work, de
scribing Seventy-five Trades and Professions,
and the Talents and Temperaments required.
By N. Sizer. $1.00.
Expression, its Anatomy and Philosophy, with
numerous Notes, and upwards of 70 illustra
tions. $1.00.
Sow to Paint; Designed for Tradesmen, Mer
chants, Mechanics, Fanners and the Profession
al Painter. Plain and Fancy Painting, Gaild
ing, Graining, Varnishing, Polishing, Paper
Hanging, Kalsominingand Ornamenting, For
mulas for Mixing Faint in Oil or Water. By
Gardner. $1.00.
Combe's Constitution of Man. Considered in
relation to External Objects. $1.50.
Combe's Lectures on Phrenology. With an Essay
on the Phrenological mode of Investigation,
and a Historical Sketch. By Andrew Board
man, M. D. $1.50.
Saw to Bead Character. A new ' Illustrated
Hand-book of Phrenology and Physiognomy.
With 170 engravings. Muslin, $1.25.
Sow to Boise Fruits. A Guide to tho Cultiva
tion aud Management of Fruit Trees, and of
Grapes and Small Fruits. By Thomas Gregg.
Illustrated. $1.00. ,
Letters to Women on Midwifery and the Diseases
of women. With General Management of
Childbirth, the Nursery, etc. For Wives and
Mothers. $1.50.
Science of Human Life. By Sylvester Graham.
With a Copious Index and Biographical Sketch
of the Author. $3.00.
Phrenological Journal and Life Illustrated. De
voted to Ethmology, Physiology, Phrenology
Physiognomy, Psycology, Biography, Educa
tion, Art, Literature, with Aleasures to Re
form, Elevate and Improve Mankind Physi
cally, Mentally and Spiritually. Published
Monthly in octavo form, at $2.00 a year in
advance, or 20 cents a number. New volumes
January and July.
Inclose amount in a registered letter or by a
P. O. order for one or for all of the above, and
address S. R. WELLS & CO., Publishers, 737
Broadway, New York. Agents wanted.
BUPTUBEI
ANOTHER WONDERFUL CURB
EFFECTED BY
Calif rnia Elastic Truss!
CALIFORNIA ELASTI3
V TRUSS COMPANY, W.
J. Horhs, Prop'r., Dear sir:
I feel that I owe it to you and
to humanity to write the fact
that I have been SUBSTAN-
niDture. of thirtv veara' standi no-.
from you three months ago. T cannot describe
the surlenng, both mentally and physically, tost
I have undergone during tuat period; and now I
feel like a new being. I have worn all kinds of
Trusses, both steel and elastic, and never re
ceived any permanent relief until I tried yours.
Its simplicity of construction, and facility with
which it can be adjusted, and the ease and free
dom to the motions of the body with which it
can be worn without causing any irritation, are
its chief merits, and it is a perfect supporter. I
have not had any sign of a return of a Rupture
since the first day I put it on, and feel that I am
PERFECTLY CURED. It is invaluble, and the
fact should be known to the world. You can
refer any one to me on the subject of their merits.
I am yonrs trulv,
ALFRED J. BURKE.
Chief mail clerk S. F, Daily Evening Post. .
San Francisco, July 20, 1878.
Endorsed by the Medical Pro
fession. San Francisco, July 9, 1878.
California Truss Co:
After practicing medicine many years in this
city, during which time I have had an extensive
experience in the application of all kinds of
Trusses, I can and do recommend yours as the
best in every respect, and is as near perfect as
modern science can make it. It has many advan
tages over the torturing steel hoop Trusses, which
inflict great injury on the hips and spine, bring
ing on other distressing ailments, such as Lum
bago, morbid affections of the kidney and
numbness in the lower limbs, all of which are
avoided by wearing the California Elastic Truss.
It is not only a perfect retainer, comprising ease
and comfort, but the pressure can be changed to
any degree. It also remains in its proper place
at all times, regardless of the motions of the
body. and is worn night and day with perfect
ease, it is superior to any of the Elastic Trusses
now in the market, while it combines the merits
of all. 1st It is easily adjusted on and off with
snaps, doing away with straps and buckles. 2nd
The universal spring between the plates and
pads prevents all irritation, which is a god-send
to the sufferer. 3rd Tbe pad is adjusted on and
off in an instant, and can be changed to any
other size and form most suitable to the case. In
fact it combines every quality essential to comfort
and durability, and is unequaled in lightness,
and elasticity, natural action and artistic finish.
Many of my patienfs who are afflicted with her
nia are wearing them, and all shall in tbe future,
for I think the great ease with which these
purely scientific appliances are made efficacious,
is truly wonderful. You can refer any parties to
me on the subject of their merits.
I remain truly yours,
L. DEXTER LYFORD, M. D.,
tiOO Sacramento street, San Francisco
It is constructed on scientific principles and
sells on its own merits. If you want the best
truss ever manufactured, dout forget the name
and number.
Trusses forwarded to all parts of the United
States at our expense, on receipt of price.
ead for lllastrated Catalogue and
Price List,
Giving full information and rules for measuring.
California Elastic Truss Co.t
7o MARKET STREET. 8. F.
15:36yl
E. H. BURNHAM,
HOUSE PAINTING,
8UININ0 AND PAPER HAN8IN8.
ALL WORK IN MY LINE PROMPTLY
attended to on reasonable terms. Paper
hanging a specialty. Orders may be left at
Graham, Hamilton and uo. s drug store, or 8. G
McFadden's carpenter shop.
Corvallis, April 7, 1879.
15tf