STATE RIGHTS DEMOCRAT
BATES OP ADVpHTISINO.
rorw - ---- .
1 W I I M H M UV! 1
0LDE$T DEMOCRATIC PAPER IN OREGON.
1 Inon,
3 In. ,
jit..'
4 In.
Col.
Col.
Col.
1 Col. '
1 1JU
2 on
no
4 on
it on
7 sn
in on
15 oo
s no
1 oo
lo on
12 50
is no
in un
;.i no'
40 oo
.8 no l
12 on i
6 on
ft nn
7 on
15 no
is on
S.V On
n no
-10 oo
mi oo
FCBLISRID KVBRY miDXT, BY 1 v
MART. V. BROWN.
0 on
12 mi
is nn
m nn
10
If
. OFFICE IN PARRISH'S BLOCK. FIRST STREET.
TERMS, in Anvcs i On year, t:i ; Bit
months, $2; Three month!, t) ; One month, 50
cent)) 9ingl Copies, 12i wnts.
Oorreipondcnts writinR over assumed siirna
tnres or anonymously, must make known their
proper names t0 tbo Editor, or no attention will
bo given to their communications.
"b usin ess cards.
, j. gounskey,
merchant tailor,
Has opened n flrst-elnss tnllor shop In Allmny,
and wants customers. CaHNlmeres, Cloths, Ac,
poodily made into milt of the latest stylta.
v8n26tf.
F. A. CBENUWXTH.
Corrallis.
I. it. surra
Linn Co.
' GHENOWETH & SMITH.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
Corrallis, Oregon.
r-Orra at the Court Home. v6n2r
JOHN J. WHITNEY,
ATTORNEY AKD COUNSELOR AT LAW
' and Notary Public.
Spootal attentions given to collections,
Ofhcb-
-Up stairs in rarnsu a linen.
Alhauy, Oregon.
v3n33tf.
. H. JONEH.
I
JOXES & HILL,
t
PHYSICIANS & SURGEONS
ALBANY, OREGON.
S. A. JOHNS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
ALBANX, OUEGON.
"Office in the Conrt Houso.'fJl
viinKU".
ROOTS MADE TO ORDER
AT REASONABLE KATK8 AT
HENRY FLINDT'S SHOP,
ALBANY, OREGON.
Work warranted to (rive satisfaction."
v8n36tf.
W. C. TWEEBiLE,
DEALER IN
GROCERIES, PROVISIONS.
Tobaooo, Cigars and Yankee. Notions,
ALBANY, OREGON.
I will Btrlvc to keep on hands tho host of ev
erything in my Hue, and to merit public pau
ronago. . ' vtaWyl.
A. W. GAMBLE, Jl. IV.,
PHYSICIAN & Sl'RGEOX,
ALBANY, OREGON.
Office on Main street, one door west of Weed's
crocery store, ltt'sldcnce at tho late residence
of John Memlenball, near the fcitar Hrewery.
Jan. 12th, IH74. vUni'ltf.
D. ES. K1CE, Pffl. !.,
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON,
ALBANY. OREGON,
OAVo on Mnin street, between Ferry and
ftrondalhin; K'Rll"iicp on Third street, two
blocks cast, or below, the Methodist Church. '
vb'n.
J. W. BALMWIIV
ATTORNEY & COUNSELOR AT LAW,
. Will prnetlcp In all the Courts In tho 2d, 3d
nd 4th Judicial Districts; In tlm Kupreme
H'ourt of Oretfnr,, and In the United States Dis
trict and Circuit Court. Oflloc up-ftnirs in front
room in Parrlsh's brick bloclt, HrstSt., Allmny,
Oregon. vttnil-yl.
IK. IS. O. NtIITH,
ALBANY, OREGON.
OFFICE : Two doors east of Conner's Tank,
vllnlltf. .
GEO. R. HELM,
ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW
, Will practice in all the Courts of this State.
OFFICE: ALBANY, OREGON1.
Nov. 11, 1870.
T. W. II ARRIS.
H. J. BOUGUTON.
HARRIS fc KOLCIHTOV,
PHYSICIANS & SURGEONS,
ALBANY, OREGON.
T Office on Main Ftreet, over A. Cnrothers
Store. Dr. Harris's residence, on Fourth street,
four blot'KB west of Court House. Dr. lijinjli
ton'sresiiiooce, on Fourth street, opposite Dr.
Tate's. t - MinUtt.
ST. CHARLES HOTEL,
CORNER FRONT AND WASHINGTON STS.,
ALBANY, OREGON.
N. S. LUBOIS. - PROPRIETOR.
This housejs the most commodious In tho
City. Table nupplied with the bint the market
urfords. Free coach to the house. Sale lor
Valuables. Office of Oorvallls Stugo Company.
vinui.i.
f C OCTTl CMICD
Druggist and Apothecary!
"TEALER IN" DRUGS, MEDICINES, OILS,
j Paints, Window GUbs, Dyestuffs, Liquors,
lancy Soaps, Brushes, Perfumeries, Ac.
- Frcseriptions Carefully Compounded.
Alt art clefl nnd Drugs in our line warranted
Ctf tbo best quality.
First stroet, Post Offiee building, Albany.
jull5v5niSvl
ALBANY BATH HOUSE!
THE UNDERSTGNED WOULD ItESPECT
fully inform the oi Li tens of Albany and vi
einity that be has taken charge of this Kstablish
Inent, and, by keeping clean rooms a"nd paying
triot attention to business, expects to suit all
thoM who may faror him with their patronage.
Haring heretofore carried on nothing but
First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons,
he expects to give entire satisfaction to all.
jHJChiIdten and Ladic' Hair neatly out
And shampooed. JOSEPH WEBUER.
TSnSatf.
DR. U. . CiiiAY.
ALBANY, OREGON.
OFFICE ly PAKUTSH'S ItRICK BIrK.
crn'rof Flmand Ferry atn-ets. OiTi
hmin Imm Hut U o'clock a. m., &nd Intm I to fi
O'clock r. M .
Heal deuce : Corner Fifth and Ferry itreeta.
vHn;Mtf.
hiippfcl Hands and Fa.
More Li pit , Dryness el" the Skin,
CnrM.t hj HEGKMAT8 CAMPHOR !
ICE with ULYCEltiNK. It kps tk h.ndi J
oft in all w.Ui.r. BMht job get HEGB-'
WAX'S. Sold by .11 Dnisirisu, onlj "5 enls. j
Hi.ufrriir4onl7! Hwarmx, Co.. Chcm. !
it md Dntjjittt, S.w Kwk. ,! Jljl
VOL. IX.
A STEAMBOAT RACE.
ITS EXCITING INCIDENTS AND ITS TEKMBLE
ItKSOM.
At night tlie boat forged on through
tho deep solitudes of the river, hard
ly ever discovering a light to testify
to n human presence nine alter mile,
league after league, 'the vast bends
were guarded by unbroken t a'ls of
forest that had never been disturbed
by the voice or footfall of a man, or
felt the edge ot his sacinigious ax.
An hour after supper tho moon
camo up, and Clay and Washington
(two boys) ascended to tho hurricane
deck torovel again in their new realm
of enchantment. Thev ran races up
and down the deck, climbed about
the bell, made friends with the pas
senger dogs chained under the life
boat, tried to make friends with a
passenger bear fastened to the verge
staff, but were not encouraged,
"skinned the cat" on the hog-chains
in a word, exhausted the amuse
ment possibilities of tho deck. Then
they looked wistfully up at tho pilot
house, and hnally, little by little,
Clay ventured up there, followed dif
fidently by Washington. The pilot
turned presently to "get his stern
marks," saw the lads, and invited
them in. The cosy little house, built
entirely of glass, and commanding a
marvelous prospect in every direc
tion, was a magician's throne to them,
and their enjoyment of the place was
simply boundless.
They sat themselves down on a
bench and looked miles ahead, and
saw the wooded caps fold back and
reveal the bends boyond : and thoy
looked miles to the rear and saw the
silvery highway diminish its breadth
by degrees and close itself together
in the distance. Presently tne pilot
said :
"By George, yonder comes the
Amaranth!"
A spark appeared close to the
water, several miles down tho river.
The pilot took his glassand looked at
it steadily for a moment, and said,
chiefly to himself :
"It can't be the Blue ing. hhe
couldn't pick us up .this way. It's
the Amaranth, sure."
He bent over a speaking tube and
said :
"Who's on watch there ?"
A hollow, unliuman voice rumbled
up through tho tube in answer:'
1 am. Second engineer.
Good! Tou want to stir your
stumps, now, Harrys tho Amaranth's
just turned the point, and she's just
a-humpmg herseit, too!
The pilot toot hold ot a rope that
stretched out forward, jerked it twice,
and two mellow strokes of the big
bell responded. A voice out on the
deck shouted:
Stand by, down there, with that
larboard lead!"
No; I don't want the lead," said
the pilot, "I want you. Koust out
the old man tell him the Amaranth's
coming. And go and call Jim tell
him."
"Aye, aye, sir !"
The "old man" was the Captain
he is always called so on steamboats
and ships; "Jim was the other pilot.
Within two minutes both of these
men were flying up the pilot-house
stairwav, Ihree steps at a jump. Jim
was in his shirt-sleeves, with his coat
and vest on his arm. He said:
"I was just turning in. Where's
the glass.?"
He took it and looked.
"Don't appear to be any night-
hawk on the jack-staff it's the Ama
ranth, dead sure!"
The Captain took a long look, and
only said:
"Damnation !
George Davis, the pilot on watch,
shouted to the night watchman on
deck:
"How's she loaded?"
"Two inches bythe head, sir.'
" 'Taint enough'!"
The Captain sbcuted now:
"Call the mate. Toll him to call
all hands, and get a lot of sugar for-
rard put her ten inches by the head
Lively, now I"
"Aye, ave, sir!"
A riot of shouting and trampling
floated up from below presently and
the unoany steering ot the boat soon
showed that she was getting "down
by the head."
The three men in the pilot house
began to utlk m short, sharp sen
tences, low and earnestly. As their
excitement rose their voices went
down. As fast as ono of them put
down the spy-glass another took it
up ; but always with a studied air of
calmness. Each time the verdict was
"She's a-gaining!"
The Captain spoke through the
tube :
"What steam are you carrying?"
"A hundred and forty-two, sir!
But she's getting hotter and hotter
all the time."
The boat was straining and groan
ing, and quivering like a monster in
pain. Both pilots were atwork now.
one on each side of the wheel, with
their coats and vests off, their bosoms
and collars wide open, and the per
spiration flowing down their faces.
They were holding the boat so close
to the shore that tho willows swept
the guards from stem to stern.
"Standby!" whispered George.
"All ready 1" Raid Jim, under his
breath.
"Let her come !"
The boat sprang away from tho
bank like a deer, and darted in along
diagonal toward the other chore. She
closed in atrain. and thrashed her
tierce way along the willows us be
fore. The Captain put down the
glass.
"Lord, how she walks up on ns! I
do hate to be beat!"
"Jim," said George, looking
straight ahead, and watching the
slightest yawning of the boat, and
lmpuv meeting 11 mm me isiieei,
"how'll it do to try the Murderer's
Chute '"
..Vl-'ll :. il, rhinccx
" cu- " " taking ClianCCS.
IIow mas the Cottonwood htujup on
the false point below Boardman's Isl
and, this morning
"Water iust touching'the roots."
"Woll, it's pretty close work. That
gives six feet scant m the head oi
Murderer's Chute. We can just
barely rub through if we hit it exactly
right. But it's worth trying for.
iSio don't dare tackle it!" meaning
the Amaranth.'
In another instant the Boreas
plunged into what seemed a crooked
trek, and the Amaranth's approach
ing lights were shut out in a moment.
Not a whisper was uttered now, but
the three men stared ahead in the
shadows, and two of them spun the
wheel back and forth with anxious
watchfulness, while the steamer tore
along. The chute seemed t5 come td
an end every fifty yards, but always
opened out in time. Now the head
of it was at hand. George tapped
the big bell three times ; two leads
men sprang to their posts, and in a
moment their weird cries rose on the
night air, and were caught up and re
peated bytwo men on the upper dock:
"No-o bottom!"
"D-e-e-p four!"
"Half three!"
"Quarter three!"
"Mark under wa-a-ter three!"
"Quarter twain! "
Davis pulled a couple of ropes
there was a jingling of small bells
far below, the boat s speed Blackened,
and the pent steam began to whistle
and the guage-cocks scream.
"By the mark twain !"
' "Quariter-ter-er-?w twain,
"Eight and a half!"
"Eight feet!"
" Se ven-an-a-half ! "
Another jingling of little bells and
the wheels ceased turning altogether
The whistling of the steam was some
thing frightful now it almost
drowned all other noises.
, "Stand by to meet her!"
George had tho wheel hard down,
and was standing on the spoke.
"All ready!"
The boat hesitated seemed to hold
her breath, as did the Captain and
pilots and then she began to fall
away to starboard, and every one
lighted.
" .AW, then! meet her! meet her!
Snatch her!"
The wheel flew to port so fast that
the spokes blended into a spider web
the swing of the boat subsided
she steadied hersolf
"Seven feet!"
"Sev six and a half !"
"Six feet ! Six f "
Bang! She hit tho bottom! George
shouted through the tube :
"Spread her wide open! Whale it
al her "
Pow wow chow! Tho escape
pipes belched snowy billows of steam
aloft, the boat aground, and surged
and trembled and slid over into
"M-a-r-k twain !"
"Quarter her "
"Tap ! tap ! tap ! (to signify, "Lay
in the leads.")
And away she went, tlymg up the
willow shore, with tho wholo silver sea
of the Mississippi stretching abroad
on every hand.
No Amaranth in sight!
''Ha-ha, boys, we took a couple of
sticks that time!" said tho Captain.
And just at that moment a red
glare appeared in the head of the
chute, and tho Amaranth came
springing after them. 1
"Well, 1 swear.
"Jim, what is the meaning of
that?"
I'll tell you what's the meaning
of it. That call we had at Napoleon
was Wash Hastings, wanting to come
to Cairo, and we didn t stop. He s
in that pilot-house, now, showing
those mud-turtles now to hunt lor
easy water.
That's it! I thought it wasn't
any slouch that was running that
middle bar in Hog-eye Bend. If it's
Wash Hastings well, what ho don't
know about tho river aint worth
knowing a regular gold-leaf, kid
glove, diamonuVbreaitpin pilot, Wash
Hastings is. We won't take any
tricks off him. old man."
"I wish I'd a stopped for him,
that's all." '
Tho Amaranth was within 300
yards of the Boreas, and still gain
ing. The "old man'- spoke through
the tube :
"What is she carrying now?"
"A hundred and sixty-five sir!"
"How's your wood?"
"Pine all out cypress half gone
eating up Cottonwood like pie !"
"Break into that rosin on tho main
deck pile it in, the boat can pay for
it."
Soon tho boat was plunging and
quivering and screaming more madly
than ever. But the Amaranth's head
was almost abreast the Boreas' stern.
"How's your steam, Harry?"
"Hundred and eighty-two, sir!"
"Break up the cakes of bacon in
the forrad hold! Pile it in! Levy
on that turpentine in tho fantail
drench every stick of wood with it!"
The boat was now a moving earth
quake by this time.
"How is she now?"
"A hundred and ninety-six and
still a swelling water below the mid
dle guago cocks carrying every
pound she can stand nigger roost
mg on the safety valve!"
"Good! How's your draft?"
"Bully! Every time a nigger
heaves a stii.k of wood into the fur
nace he goes out of the chimney with
it!"
The Amaranth drew steadily up
till her jack-staff breasted the Boreas'
wheel-house climbed along inch by
inch till her chimneys breiutcd it
crept along further und further till
tho boats were wheel to wheel
and then they closed up witli a heavy
jolt and locked together tight and
fast in the middle of the big river,
under the "flWliug moonlight! A
roar and a hurrah went up from the
crowded decks of both steamers all
hands rushed to the guards to look,
and shout, and gesticulate the
weight careened the vessels toward
each other officers Dew hither and i
ALBANY, OREGON, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13,
thither cursing and storming, trying
to drive the peoplo amidships both
Captains wore leaning over their rail
ings shaking their fists, swearing and
threatening black volumes of smoke
rolled up and canoped the scene, de
livering a rain of sparks upon the
vessels two pistol shots rang out,
and both Captains dodged unhurt
and the packed mass of passengers
surged back and fell apart while the
shrieks of women and children soared
above the intolerable din
And then there was a booming
roar, a thundering crash, and the
riddled Amaranth dropped looce
from her hold and drifted helplessly
away.
Instantly tho fire doors of the
Boreas were thrown open, and the
'men began dashing buckets of water
in the turnacos for it would have
been death and destruction to stop
the engines with such a head of steam
on.
As soon as possible tho Boreas
dropped down to the floating wreck
and took off the dead, the wounded
and unhurt at least all that could
be got at, for .the whole forward half
of the boat was a shapeless ruin, with
tho great chimneys lying crossed on
the top of it, and underneath were a
dozen victims imprisoned alive ana
wailing for help. While men with
axes worked with might and main to
free these poor fellows, tho Boareas'
boats went about, picking up strag
glers from the river.
And now a new horror presented
itsslf. The wreck took lire from the
dismantled furnaces! Never did
men work with a hoartior will than
did those stalwart braves with the
axes. But it was of no use. Tho fire
ate its way steadily, despising the
bucket brigade that fought it. It
scorched the clothes, it singed the
hair of the axemen it drove them
back foot by foot inch by inch they
wavered, struck a final .blow in tho
teeth of the enemy, and surrendered.
And as they fell back thoy heard
prisoned voices Baying:
"Don't leave us! Don't desert us!
Don't, don't do it!"
And one poor fellow said:
"I am Henry Worlcy, striker of
the Amaranth. My mother lives in
St. Louis. Tell her a lie for a poor
devil's sake, please. Say I was
killed in an instant and never knew
what hurt me though God knows
Iv'e neither scratch nor bruise this
moment! It's hard to burn up in a
coop like this with the whole wide
world so near. Good bye, boys
we've all got, to come to it at last,
.anyway!" '
The Boreas stood away out of dan
ger, and the ruined steamer went
drifting down the stream an island of
wreathing and climing flame that
vomited clouds of smoko from time
to time, and glared more fiercoly and
sent the luminous tongues higher and
higher after each emission. A shriek
at intervals told of a captive that had
met his doom. The wreck lodged
upon a sand-bar, and when the Bo
reas turned the next point on her up
ward journey, it was still burning
with scarcely abated fury.
When the boys came down into
the main saloon of the Boreas they
saw a pitiful sight, and heard a world
of pitiful sounds. 'Elovon poor crea
tures lay dead, and forty more lay
moaning, or pleading or screaming,
while a score of Good Samaritans
moved among them doing what they
could to relieve their sufferings; bath
ing their skinless faces and , bodies
with linseed oil and lime-water, and
covering the places with bulging
masses of raw 'cotton that gave to
every face and form a dreadful and
inhuman aspect.
A uttlo wee i rench midshipman of
14 lay fearfully injured, but never
uttered a sound till a physician of
Memphis was about to . dress his
hurts.
'Can I get well? You need not be
afraid to tell mo."
"No I I am afraid you cannot."
"Then do not wasto your time
with me help those that can get
well."
"But "
"Help those that can get well I It
is not for me to be a girl. I 'carry
tho blood of eleven generations of
soldiers in my veins!"
The physician himself a man who
had seen service in tho navy in his
time touched his hat to this little
hero and passed on.
The head ongineerof tho Amaranth,
a grand specimen of physical man
hood, struggled to his feet a ghastly
spectacle, and strode toward his broth
er, the second engineer, who was un
hurt. He said:
"You were on watch. You were
boss. You would not listen to me
when I begged you to reduce your
steam. Take that! take that to my
wife, and tell her it comes from mo
by the hand of my murderer! Take
it! and take my curse with it to blis
ter j'our heart a hundred years and
may you live so long!"
And he tore a ring from his finger,
stripping flesh and skin with it, threw
it down, and fell dead!
But these things must not be dwelt
upon. The Boreas landed hor dread
ful cargo at the next large town and
delivered it over to a multitude of ea
ger hands and warm Southern hearts
a cirgo amounting by tliis time to
thirty-nine wounded persons, and
twenty-two dead bodies. And with
these she delivered a list of ninety-six
missing persons that had drowned or
oJienvi.se perished at thd scone of
this terrible disaster.
A jury of inquest was impimnelod,
and after due deliberation und inqui
ry, they returned the inevitable ver
dict, which has leen so familiar to
our ears all the days of our lives
"Nobody to blame."
In a note tho authors vouch for
the entire authenticity of the above
account.) From the GlUkd Ay, a
no,vel written conjointly- by jfark
Twain and Clrarlcs V. Warner.
Grange blanks printed and for
sale at thu cilice.
SHAM ECONOMY. -
There is a vasi deal of pretense at
Washington on tho subject Of re
trenchment. Tho departments are
going through the motions of cutting
on some ot the monstrous excrescen
ces and diminishing estimates that
were purposely oxugerated. Mem
bers of tho Committee of Ways and
Means are using the telegraph to fool
the country with a pretended zeal in
the same direction. This whole busi
ness is a sham from beginning to end.
No earnest disposition has been
shown either by the Administration
or by Congress to bring down tho
expenditures to a real peace basis.
The cost of carrying on the Govern
ment has multiplied in the ratio of
seven for one when compared with
the increase of population during the
last decade.
Extravagance, corruption and prod
igality are the causes of this extraor
dinary disparity. Abuses have grown
into accepted uyngo that were never
tolerated until the advent of Grant
ism. Offices have been created mere
ly to reward partisans. The contingent
funds of every cabinet officer and all
the heads of bureaus have been cov
erted into a source of personal profit
by which their compensation is large
ly increased.
Deception is habitually practiced
m tho estimates sent to congress.
The Secrotary ' of the Navy obtains
millions under tho disguise of neces
sary "ropairs," and applies this fund
to building new ships, lhe naval
committees are "seen," and thoy con
nive at a barefaced fraud.
The Indians are decreasing in num
ber every year, yet the appropria
tions augment in the inverse ratio of
their decline. U nder the noucw pre
text of a Christian policy, the out
growth of Christian statesmanship,
eight millions were expended for this
service during the last fiscal year,
and a million more is demanded for
deficiencies. In other words, nine
millions against two millions eight
hundred thousand in 18(il, when the
Indians were almost doubly as strong
as they are now. While the Indian
Bureau is connected with the Interi
or Department, and that continues
to be presided over by Columbus De
lano, those expenses will grow as they
have grown under a system of plun
der and swindling, by which an infa
mous ring is enriched, the Indians
are cheated and the Treasury is plun
dered. Where reform of these and other
flagrant outrages is proposed, Gar
field, at the head of the appropria
tions, answers that they are authoriz
ed by law. That is to say, an amend
ment is cunningly attached to some
bill this year at the close of tho ses
sion, by which a permanent outlay is
incurred, an office established, or a
service enlarged, without the discus
sion or the knowledge of Congress.
Next year it is added to the regular
estimates, and if a careful member
objects to the new item, Garfield rises
and reads him a lecture, saying that
the money is only asked to carry out
a law.
And so it goes on year by year un
til millions are voted to overy supply
bill, which are nothing but gross
frauds. This cannot bo done without
collusion, and it is no secret in Wash
ington that tho important chairman
ships in the Senate and House of
Representatives are sought for the
opportunities which they aflord of
making money. Iu this way tho ap
propriations are constantly kept
swelling, until tho present propor
tions have been reached.
Special and class interests, which
are protected by vicious and corrupt
tariu's, join hands with the profession
al plunderers, to put up the expenses
to the highest poiut, without regard
to the publio interest. While this
system is permitted to continue, their
revenues are augmented und their
monopolies more firmly fixed. So
that the country is not only taxed di
rectly for tho tens of millions which
are thus stolen and squandered, but
is also mado to pay tribute to these
monopolies, who buy any legislation
they. need at Washington.
To tamper with this condition of
thinus by reducing somo of tho most
notorious extravaganco would bo like
treating u deadly cancer with court
plaster. There is but one remedy,
and that is to strike at mo rootoi ine
evil. The plain duty of Congress, at
least of thoso niemliers who are earn
est about reform, is to fix a limit of
expenditure in the public service, and
say plainly to the Executive and the
departments, that they must live
within this prescribed sum, and that
no deficiencies will be tolerated.
That is the only method of certain
retrenchment. If the President had
been at all inclined to stay the abu
ses, he could have done much by nn
order to that ell'ect and by his own
supervision. Ho had more power to
reform the civil sorvices by example
and exaction than all tho laws that
could be passed in any Congress.
But ho has no disposition to do one
or the other. In fact the wholo of
his official and personal influence has
been thrown on tho side of extrava
gance and in favor of venal rings.
He is responsible for his own double
pay, for tho most insulting appoint
ments, and for the protection of rogues
who have plundered the treasury. It
remains to be seen if Congress will
end a it has begun, in sham. Courier-Journal.
American steels are claimed to be
fully equal to English steels, but
American steals are certainly far ahead
of nnythir.g in the world.
The lady who asked for a pound of
ceriU nial tea the virtues of which are
being so widely extolled only succeed
ed in mystifying her grocer.
A boy lately ran to a police man and
told him that there u a peraon in
the next street tearing up the pave
mout. " "Bobby" hastened round the
corner, but saw only a man n'rgcti
cally running alter an omnibus!
1874.
DOKH UEK OWN WOUK?
I Does sho? What of it? In it a
disgrace to her? Is she tho less a
true woman, less worthy of respect
than she who sits in Bilk and satin,
and is v ain of lingers which never
know labor? We heard this sneer a
fow days ago, and the tone in which
it was uttered lias been a nuisance
ever since. It betokens a narrow,
selfish, ignoblo mind, better fit for
any place than a Democratic country,
whose institutions rest on honorable
labor as one of the chiof corner
stones. It evinces a false idea of
the true basis of society, of true wo
manhood, of genuine nobility it
shows the detestable spirit of caste,
of rank, which a certain class among
us one striving to establish a caste
whose sole, foundation is money, and
is tho meanest kind of rank known
to civilization. Mind, manners,
morals, and all that enter into a
grand character, are of , no account
with these social snobs, position in
their stilted ranks is bought with
gold, and each additional dollar is
another round in the ladder by which
elevation is gained.
In matter of fact, is it more dis
honorable for the merchant's wife to
do her work, than for the merchant
to do his? - for her to look after her
house, than for mm to look utter his
store? Or is a woman nothing only
to bo tickled with a feather and
pleased with a straw? It seems to bo
the highest ambition in some circles
to be, or profess to be, not only
"above" work, but even "ignorant"
of how work is to bo done; and if
the table is poorly spread, if the
housekeeper is at sixes and sevens,
the "help" receives maledictions
without stint, but the "lady" takes
none of the responsibility upon her
solf. She looks into the kitchen
she knows how broad should be
made, or a steak broiled she knows
when the flour is out, or the sugar
in? Absurd! "Help" may be bad
enough, but what interest can the
girl in the kitchen iesl in tho house
hold economy, if the lady iu the
parlor has none? If the mistross
negleots all domestic duties, will the
maid be thoroughly conscientious?
Will the husband's business go on
woll if he neglects it? And why
should that of the wife prosper un
der lack of responsibility.
An aristocracy of wealth is the
most inexcusable, the silliest of any
social distinction, and yet it is that
which many of our citizens, many of
our otherwise sensible young people
are fostering and trying to establish.
It is quite too fashionable to sneer at
labor, and to give the cold shouldor
to thoso who are not ashamed to do
their own work, or whoso circum
stances compel them to do it. If we
are to have aristocracy at all, lot it
be one of brains and charactor, and
not of purse and dancing school
politeness. When that happy day
shall dawn, when tho true woman
and the true man are in their proper
position in the social world, m the
highest scalo will be thousands who
know how to work, ' and, when
necessary, are willing to work, while
the brainless and pursoful snobs of
both sexes will sink by the weight of
their own coppers.
If a man or a woman, a "gentle
man" or a "lady," is ablo to live
without actual manual labor, lot thorn
be thankful; it is a pleasaut position
to occupy; but to be ashamed of the
knowledge sufficient to manago the
shop or tho kitchen, tho store or tho
house, to be ashamed to work, and
to sneer at those who do work this
is evil, and only evil, and to-day is
an abomination in ' 'our best society."
Vain woman, was your mother
ashamed of work, and are you
ashamed of hor that she did work?
And young man in kids and clover,
did your father got his competency
on which you live, by idleuoss? We
honor the woman who, when nocossa
ry, "does her own work," and de
spise those who "sneer." Watch
man and JtnJIcctor.
A PUOPIIUCV OP 8CUCNCK.
Profossor Winchell, in a recent
lecture at the Cooper Instituto, New
York, entitled, "Glimpses of the
Future," argued that "tho final of
this world and of all the planets, as
foreshadowed by the results of
scientific research, would be to bo
precipitated into the,, sun. Tho re
turning periods of tho comets are
growing nhortcr; they always come
back a little too soon. The earth is
shortening its yoara and drawing
nearer to the sun. All tho planets
are plowing their way through a
resisting medium, and many years
ago it began to bo calculated what
would be the end of that resistance.
It is well demonstrated that the light
from the suu is propagated in the
form of undulations. Tho light of
each star has tremblod along its path
on the wings of ether in some cases
for 700,000 years! Through tho
resistance of this exceedingly tenuous
fluid, all tho planets of our solar
system are destined to be precipita
ted into tho sun and become ono
totally refrigerated mass." We
guess not.
A young man in Ind. sues his fath
er for loaned money, which the fath
er claims was his own property. Tho
father's counsel, in summing up the
case of his client, remarked: "Twice
has this prodigal returned to his fath
er's house; twice has he been receiv
ed with open arms; twice for him
has the fatted calf been killed; and
now he comes back and wants tho old
When boss Tweed's occupation was
asked by the penitentinry oflicisls he
correctly replied, "statuiraan;" for
isn't he the State's man for the next
twelve years?
Cook county 111., is about Complet
ing a jail and court-house at Chicago,
and the remarkable thing about it is
that it will cost $50,000 less than (he
original tblimate, 520,000.
NO. 27
JOSH BILLING! SPIC'B-UOX.
Most every one hives to listen to a
slander, but thare aint but phew but
what despise the author ov it.
What a heartless world this would
ba if thar Waz no tears in it.
Wizomenare nevorsurprized, while
phools are alwuss wondering at every
thing tliut happens.
I meet a grate many men whoze
talk iz liko a buntch ov firS krackers
when they are fust tutched oph, full
ov pop for a fu minnitts, and then all
is over. ... - '
Without munnv, without frionds,
and without impudence, iz about az
low dowri in this world az enuy man
tan git, and keep virtewous.
Beware ov the man who iz alwuss
reddy to swop old friends for now
ones.
- The dog that will phollow every
body, aint worth kuss.
AVheu I pla whist I allwuss like a
phool for a partner, for they do hold
such good hands,.
Thare is nothing that a man iz bo
certain ov az he iz ov what ho sees,
and yet thare iz nothing after all that
deceives him oftner,
I hav had people set down bi mi
side and konfidonshally uudetake to
explain sum thing to mo ov grate ini
portanse, and aftor talking 84 min
nitts bi tho watch, I not only didn't
kno what thoy had been tiiemg to tell ,
but had forgot a good deal that I
knew boforo.
Thare iz but little that iz new under
the sun, and what iz aint good for
mutch.
One ov the most perfekt viktorys
yu kan achieve over enny man is to
beat him in politeness.
The rarest artikle quoted in market
just now iz good common sense,
Yung man yu had better be honest
than cunning, and it iz hard work to
bo both.
After a man haz passed thcage ov
57 about all he kan find to talk about
and to brag on iz that he haz got
more pains and akes thsu enny ov the
rest ov his nauors,
I kant tell exackly what's the mat
ter ov mo, but I am allwuss just a
leetlo shy ov the woman who wears her
hair Kut short. ,
The. world at large judge ov us hi
our suckcess. .
It ought to kure the pride ov enny
man when ho reflekts that thero aint
no one living but what owes more to
the world than the world owes to
him. ,
To be familiar with overy one and
preserve j ure respekt, and their es
teem, iz an evideuse of the most re
markable tullents,
Tho grate mistake that menny peo
plo make iz to think that they waz
mado before the world waz instead ov
S VMHO'M TAX RUOEIPT.
A negro living in a neighboring
county, having boen fortunate enough
to accumulate considerable of this
world's goods, desired, as all loyal
subjects should, to pay tax on the
same. It being a now business to
him, he did not know thero was a
proper officer for receiving tax
and concluded all that was necessary
was to find a man with a white skin.
Consequently he hailed the first
white man ho mot with, "say,, boss,
I want to pay my tax; must I gib it
to you?" On being told that it would
ho received by the comprehending
white gentleman, the negro gave him
Jttlj, and nskod if that was enough.
"I suppose it is," said the white
man. "Boss, gin me showin' for
dat," said the negro. Again tho wits
of the whito man were at work, and
he soon hundod the negro a slip of
paper with the inscription: "As
Moses lifted the serpent out of tho
wilderness, likewise ' have I lifted
twenty- five dollars out of this d n
negro's pocket." Not long aftor this
the negro met the tax collector
proper. "Done paid it, boss, and
here's do 'oeipt," at tho same time
handing tho pioco of papor to the
officer. He read: "As Moses lifted
the serpent out of the wilderness,
likewise have I lifted twenty-five
dollars out of this d d negro's
pocket." "Hold on, boss, you have
read um wrong, calculated the
astonishod darkey, as he snatched
the paper and carried it to another
mun who began to rend, ''As Mosos
lifted " Hero he was interrupted
by tho negro, who exclaimed : ' 'Look-a-yar;
just gin mo dat paper, I'm
gwine to lift dat whito man out'n his
boots, 'fore God I is." AVith this he
left, and not having boen heard of
since, it is supposed ho is still look
ing for the man to whom ho paid his
tax. JJatMim, Oa. , Journal.
The editor of the Louisiana, Mo.,
Press, in relating what he knows
about farming, touches up tho hog
qiiemion In this style: "To make
Berkehire pigs out of your hazel
phtlors, select a cool day, stand them
(in their hums, tied to a sapling, and
drive their noses back into their
shoulders, leaving about mi inch pro
truding. If you look at the agri
cultural papers, you will see that all
blooded hogs aro tixud that way. If
you have any whose noses are longer
than the rest ot the body, better sell
them to an artesian well company for
drills, as you cannot drive the nose
back without telescoping the whole
pig. When you out up hogs, leave
the ham square, leave somo hair too,
salt everlastingly, and they will be
worth several oenta less per pound
tlinh when trimmed and cured so that
f Christian can eat them."
Although he has been postmaster
of a town in Iowa for thirteen years,
ana nis name is joun j.nici, uis ac
counts are invariably correct.
Dog fighting has been prohibited
throughout Japan, aud the transgres
sors in this respect are to be tirtd
and tb dogs will be killed.
BuaineM notiri-s In the Local Column
cent, per line, eaob insertion. , -'
For Icirnl BiiH trnnnienl mlvertii'einentji i
per no;iiirr of 12 lines, for the nnt iiir
and $1 00 per square for each subsequei. '
sertion. .
scissoniNGs. . ;
An obituary notice in a Westf . i
paper contained the touching intflU
gence that the deceased "accumui.
ted a little money and ten children "
Iu 18C3 Massachusetts had 1.. .
miles of railroad, and K'insns not b,
s nple mile. Massachusetts now li
I'll 6 miles, and Kansas has nean i
2000 miles.
A Chicago man wrote to Agasot
that be had An apple Which he h'.i
preserved for fifty-three years, an i
when Agassiz wrote for it the jo!.
said it was the apple of his eye.
A Maine woman ate four quarts t
oysters at one sitting, the other tia ,
won S100 by so doing, alter dediK-
ing her burial expenses ($85), lefth. r
$15 to oommouce the next worV
with. - ' .
"Is it a sin, man pare" said a beifJ
to her Confessor, "to listen to iwm
who say lam handsome? ' "Certain;
ly, nam enfant," replied the abbe,
"you ought never to encouruge iiisir
cerity.
Tints manifesto was recently poste -
in the streets of a Down East town
"To al! whom it may concern: Tor
is to certify that I have failed j m
creditors may go and hang them
selves. 'Wm.Roi."
Tommy cut his finger with the f orf
bidden jack-knife, and was told by
his sympathetic old nurse: "Nev'el
mind," "Bad physic," says Tommy ,
"it would have been better if I kul
minded."
A dry-witted soldier of the Tenth'
Vermont regimeDt, dnriug the warj
was heard to pray When the bullets
were falling in showers about him.m
follows) "Oh, Lord make me as thin
as a knife!" - 1 '
Bailey( of Danbury Jfeiei, How
meueed some remarks in a prayer
meetings recently, by faying solemn
ly; "I would not live always; jot;
when I got pretty sick, I always ssud
for the doctor."
Life is liko a roll of costly material
passing swiftly through our hands,
and we must embroider our patten;
as it goes. We connot wait to piel.
up a false stitch, or pause too long
before we set another.
Times of general calamity and con
fusion have ever been productive of
the greatest minds. The purest ore
is produced from the hottest furneee,1
and the brightest thunderbolt is elic;
ited from the darkest storm.
A young lady says that a gentle
man ought never to feel diseoitrsgeif
when the "moment ua question" is
negatived l)y the object of his choice,
"for in life, as in grammar, we always
decline before we conjugate."
The scientific world, which hen
lately been excited over the reported
discovery of a balloon in a tree in tl
remote part of Northern Africa, iif
now set at rest by the anuouncnient
that the article found was a baboon.
An Indiana man stole a lawyer's
tombstone end had a beer counter
made of it, and the justice refused to
try him for larceny, holding that the
lawyer oould be found at tho last day,
even if bis grave is hidden under
six-story building. ; Vj-
A TRUH) I,A1. Hi
A Washington correspondent, in
speaking of Washington society, says:
In a family whore death has enter
ed since the year 187il dawned, thero
was a reception. It was hold by
Mrs. Sjiraguo, daughter of the lalo
Chief Justice and wife of the Senator
from Bhodfl Island. Tho reception
was an informal onethat is, tho
lady extended no invitations, hut
saw thoso who called. To say that
it waH not announced in the ptSpers
would be Superfluous. The press
has yet to find the "Sesame" of thoso
aristocratic doom. Ever since tho
days when, as Katherine Clmse, this
beautiful wotnnn, then a lovely girl,
was presented to Washington society,
she has been in a measure its riiler
and its idol. Others have risen, and
shone, and set; ' but her' brightness
wanes not. Imagine a woirtan rather
above than below the medium height,
slender, and most exquisitely grace
ful. Iter small perfectly-shaped
head sets proudly on a long swan
liko neck; and whatever fashion may
decree bo it topknot, jniJis, or
pondorous braids nothing but d
simple coil of her own golden brown
hair is ever worn by her. The con
tour of brow, check, and chin i j
faultless; her mouth good; hor com-'
plexion clear and fair. In her eyca
is hor chief charm long, Egyptian
eyes, over which the d.irk-tingcd lids
droop so languidly, so heavily, so
sadly sometimes, that the nsure be
neath grows almost black. Hor
nose an, well! what sort of :i noso
should such a woman hn Ve? Sou her
as she passes down her broad steps,
trttinod by good breeding into a
semblance as cold as tho stone under,
her high-arched foot; haughty, if to
active a word could closcritio so im
passive a creature, scarcely vouch-
sating a glance to the footman who
stands obsequious by the carria(;o
door, and as she turns from tho
luxurious recces to givo her order,
you see her profile: you sco that it
ouijlu to be classic; you me, thut .it
im't classic, because the nose is
noither Grecian, ltoman, nor even
Anglo Saxon. But I began with her
New Year's reception. All the pro
fane and vulgar glare of day wort
shut out. A subdued light of waxen
tapers illuminated rooms whoso air
was redolent with a faint, delightful
fragrance of rare flowers. And em
bowered fitly in this delicate loveli
ness she stood, withont jewel or lace,
robed in a marvelom ganncnt c
snow-white cashmere", chspod armu-l
her throat, and falling unbelted io
her feet.
An' English Judge bar; decided that
thread manufacturers who mark "HO0
yards" on spools having but .l-"it
yurds aro guilty of no offense if tlicy
ship tho spools to America. Can t
we ship tire in another loud of woodtii
bams and nutmeg',?