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About The state rights democrat. (Albany, Or.) 1865-1900 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 13, 1874)
STATE RIGHTS DEMOCRAT BATES OP ADVpHTISINO. rorw - ---- . 1 W I I M H M UV! 1 0LDE$T DEMOCRATIC PAPER IN OREGON. 1 Inon, 3 In. , jit..' 4 In. Col. Col. Col. 1 Col. ' 1 1JU 2 on no 4 on it on 7 sn in on 15 oo s no 1 oo lo on 12 50 is no in un ;.i no' 40 oo .8 no l 12 on i 6 on ft nn 7 on 15 no is on S.V On n no -10 oo mi oo FCBLISRID KVBRY miDXT, BY 1 v MART. V. BROWN. 0 on 12 mi is nn m nn 10 If . OFFICE IN PARRISH'S BLOCK. FIRST STREET. TERMS, in Anvcs i On year, t:i ; Bit months, $2; Three month!, t) ; One month, 50 cent)) 9ingl Copies, 12i wnts. Oorreipondcnts writinR over assumed siirna tnres or anonymously, must make known their proper names t0 tbo Editor, or no attention will bo given to their communications. "b usin ess cards. , j. gounskey, merchant tailor, Has opened n flrst-elnss tnllor shop In Allmny, and wants customers. CaHNlmeres, Cloths, Ac, poodily made into milt of the latest stylta. v8n26tf. F. A. CBENUWXTH. Corrallis. I. it. surra Linn Co. ' GHENOWETH & SMITH. ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Corrallis, Oregon. r-Orra at the Court Home. v6n2r JOHN J. WHITNEY, ATTORNEY AKD COUNSELOR AT LAW ' and Notary Public. Spootal attentions given to collections, Ofhcb- -Up stairs in rarnsu a linen. Alhauy, Oregon. v3n33tf. . H. JONEH. I JOXES & HILL, t PHYSICIANS & SURGEONS ALBANY, OREGON. S. A. JOHNS, ATTORNEY AT LAW, ALBANX, OUEGON. "Office in the Conrt Houso.'fJl viinKU". ROOTS MADE TO ORDER AT REASONABLE KATK8 AT HENRY FLINDT'S SHOP, ALBANY, OREGON. Work warranted to (rive satisfaction." v8n36tf. W. C. TWEEBiLE, DEALER IN GROCERIES, PROVISIONS. Tobaooo, Cigars and Yankee. Notions, ALBANY, OREGON. I will Btrlvc to keep on hands tho host of ev erything in my Hue, and to merit public pau ronago. . ' vtaWyl. A. W. GAMBLE, Jl. IV., PHYSICIAN & Sl'RGEOX, ALBANY, OREGON. Office on Main street, one door west of Weed's crocery store, ltt'sldcnce at tho late residence of John Memlenball, near the fcitar Hrewery. Jan. 12th, IH74. vUni'ltf. D. ES. K1CE, Pffl. !., PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, ALBANY. OREGON, OAVo on Mnin street, between Ferry and ftrondalhin; K'Rll"iicp on Third street, two blocks cast, or below, the Methodist Church. ' vb'n. J. W. BALMWIIV ATTORNEY & COUNSELOR AT LAW, . Will prnetlcp In all the Courts In tho 2d, 3d nd 4th Judicial Districts; In tlm Kupreme H'ourt of Oretfnr,, and In the United States Dis trict and Circuit Court. Oflloc up-ftnirs in front room in Parrlsh's brick bloclt, HrstSt., Allmny, Oregon. vttnil-yl. IK. IS. O. NtIITH, ALBANY, OREGON. OFFICE : Two doors east of Conner's Tank, vllnlltf. . GEO. R. HELM, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR AT LAW , Will practice in all the Courts of this State. OFFICE: ALBANY, OREGON1. Nov. 11, 1870. T. W. II ARRIS. H. J. BOUGUTON. HARRIS fc KOLCIHTOV, PHYSICIANS & SURGEONS, ALBANY, OREGON. T Office on Main Ftreet, over A. Cnrothers Store. Dr. Harris's residence, on Fourth street, four blot'KB west of Court House. Dr. lijinjli ton'sresiiiooce, on Fourth street, opposite Dr. Tate's. t - MinUtt. ST. CHARLES HOTEL, CORNER FRONT AND WASHINGTON STS., ALBANY, OREGON. N. S. LUBOIS. - PROPRIETOR. This housejs the most commodious In tho City. Table nupplied with the bint the market urfords. Free coach to the house. Sale lor Valuables. Office of Oorvallls Stugo Company. vinui.i. f C OCTTl CMICD Druggist and Apothecary! "TEALER IN" DRUGS, MEDICINES, OILS, j Paints, Window GUbs, Dyestuffs, Liquors, lancy Soaps, Brushes, Perfumeries, Ac. - Frcseriptions Carefully Compounded. Alt art clefl nnd Drugs in our line warranted Ctf tbo best quality. First stroet, Post Offiee building, Albany. jull5v5niSvl ALBANY BATH HOUSE! THE UNDERSTGNED WOULD ItESPECT fully inform the oi Li tens of Albany and vi einity that be has taken charge of this Kstablish Inent, and, by keeping clean rooms a"nd paying triot attention to business, expects to suit all thoM who may faror him with their patronage. Haring heretofore carried on nothing but First-Class Hair Dressing Saloons, he expects to give entire satisfaction to all. jHJChiIdten and Ladic' Hair neatly out And shampooed. JOSEPH WEBUER. TSnSatf. DR. U. . CiiiAY. ALBANY, OREGON. OFFICE ly PAKUTSH'S ItRICK BIrK. crn'rof Flmand Ferry atn-ets. OiTi hmin Imm Hut U o'clock a. m., &nd Intm I to fi O'clock r. M . Heal deuce : Corner Fifth and Ferry itreeta. vHn;Mtf. hiippfcl Hands and Fa. More Li pit , Dryness el" the Skin, CnrM.t hj HEGKMAT8 CAMPHOR ! ICE with ULYCEltiNK. It kps tk h.ndi J oft in all w.Ui.r. BMht job get HEGB-' WAX'S. Sold by .11 Dnisirisu, onlj "5 enls. j Hi.ufrriir4onl7! Hwarmx, Co.. Chcm. ! it md Dntjjittt, S.w Kwk. ,! Jljl VOL. IX. A STEAMBOAT RACE. ITS EXCITING INCIDENTS AND ITS TEKMBLE ItKSOM. At night tlie boat forged on through tho deep solitudes of the river, hard ly ever discovering a light to testify to n human presence nine alter mile, league after league, 'the vast bends were guarded by unbroken t a'ls of forest that had never been disturbed by the voice or footfall of a man, or felt the edge ot his sacinigious ax. An hour after supper tho moon camo up, and Clay and Washington (two boys) ascended to tho hurricane deck torovel again in their new realm of enchantment. Thev ran races up and down the deck, climbed about the bell, made friends with the pas senger dogs chained under the life boat, tried to make friends with a passenger bear fastened to the verge staff, but were not encouraged, "skinned the cat" on the hog-chains in a word, exhausted the amuse ment possibilities of tho deck. Then they looked wistfully up at tho pilot house, and hnally, little by little, Clay ventured up there, followed dif fidently by Washington. The pilot turned presently to "get his stern marks," saw the lads, and invited them in. The cosy little house, built entirely of glass, and commanding a marvelous prospect in every direc tion, was a magician's throne to them, and their enjoyment of the place was simply boundless. They sat themselves down on a bench and looked miles ahead, and saw the wooded caps fold back and reveal the bends boyond : and thoy looked miles to the rear and saw the silvery highway diminish its breadth by degrees and close itself together in the distance. Presently tne pilot said : "By George, yonder comes the Amaranth!" A spark appeared close to the water, several miles down tho river. The pilot took his glassand looked at it steadily for a moment, and said, chiefly to himself : "It can't be the Blue ing. hhe couldn't pick us up .this way. It's the Amaranth, sure." He bent over a speaking tube and said : "Who's on watch there ?" A hollow, unliuman voice rumbled up through tho tube in answer:' 1 am. Second engineer. Good! Tou want to stir your stumps, now, Harrys tho Amaranth's just turned the point, and she's just a-humpmg herseit, too! The pilot toot hold ot a rope that stretched out forward, jerked it twice, and two mellow strokes of the big bell responded. A voice out on the deck shouted: Stand by, down there, with that larboard lead!" No; I don't want the lead," said the pilot, "I want you. Koust out the old man tell him the Amaranth's coming. And go and call Jim tell him." "Aye, aye, sir !" The "old man" was the Captain he is always called so on steamboats and ships; "Jim was the other pilot. Within two minutes both of these men were flying up the pilot-house stairwav, Ihree steps at a jump. Jim was in his shirt-sleeves, with his coat and vest on his arm. He said: "I was just turning in. Where's the glass.?" He took it and looked. "Don't appear to be any night- hawk on the jack-staff it's the Ama ranth, dead sure!" The Captain took a long look, and only said: "Damnation ! George Davis, the pilot on watch, shouted to the night watchman on deck: "How's she loaded?" "Two inches bythe head, sir.' " 'Taint enough'!" The Captain sbcuted now: "Call the mate. Toll him to call all hands, and get a lot of sugar for- rard put her ten inches by the head Lively, now I" "Aye, ave, sir!" A riot of shouting and trampling floated up from below presently and the unoany steering ot the boat soon showed that she was getting "down by the head." The three men in the pilot house began to utlk m short, sharp sen tences, low and earnestly. As their excitement rose their voices went down. As fast as ono of them put down the spy-glass another took it up ; but always with a studied air of calmness. Each time the verdict was "She's a-gaining!" The Captain spoke through the tube : "What steam are you carrying?" "A hundred and forty-two, sir! But she's getting hotter and hotter all the time." The boat was straining and groan ing, and quivering like a monster in pain. Both pilots were atwork now. one on each side of the wheel, with their coats and vests off, their bosoms and collars wide open, and the per spiration flowing down their faces. They were holding the boat so close to the shore that tho willows swept the guards from stem to stern. "Standby!" whispered George. "All ready 1" Raid Jim, under his breath. "Let her come !" The boat sprang away from tho bank like a deer, and darted in along diagonal toward the other chore. She closed in atrain. and thrashed her tierce way along the willows us be fore. The Captain put down the glass. "Lord, how she walks up on ns! I do hate to be beat!" "Jim," said George, looking straight ahead, and watching the slightest yawning of the boat, and lmpuv meeting 11 mm me isiieei, "how'll it do to try the Murderer's Chute '" ..Vl-'ll :. il, rhinccx " cu- " " taking ClianCCS. IIow mas the Cottonwood htujup on the false point below Boardman's Isl and, this morning "Water iust touching'the roots." "Woll, it's pretty close work. That gives six feet scant m the head oi Murderer's Chute. We can just barely rub through if we hit it exactly right. But it's worth trying for. iSio don't dare tackle it!" meaning the Amaranth.' In another instant the Boreas plunged into what seemed a crooked trek, and the Amaranth's approach ing lights were shut out in a moment. Not a whisper was uttered now, but the three men stared ahead in the shadows, and two of them spun the wheel back and forth with anxious watchfulness, while the steamer tore along. The chute seemed t5 come td an end every fifty yards, but always opened out in time. Now the head of it was at hand. George tapped the big bell three times ; two leads men sprang to their posts, and in a moment their weird cries rose on the night air, and were caught up and re peated bytwo men on the upper dock: "No-o bottom!" "D-e-e-p four!" "Half three!" "Quarter three!" "Mark under wa-a-ter three!" "Quarter twain! " Davis pulled a couple of ropes there was a jingling of small bells far below, the boat s speed Blackened, and the pent steam began to whistle and the guage-cocks scream. "By the mark twain !" ' "Quariter-ter-er-?w twain, "Eight and a half!" "Eight feet!" " Se ven-an-a-half ! " Another jingling of little bells and the wheels ceased turning altogether The whistling of the steam was some thing frightful now it almost drowned all other noises. , "Stand by to meet her!" George had tho wheel hard down, and was standing on the spoke. "All ready!" The boat hesitated seemed to hold her breath, as did the Captain and pilots and then she began to fall away to starboard, and every one lighted. " .AW, then! meet her! meet her! Snatch her!" The wheel flew to port so fast that the spokes blended into a spider web the swing of the boat subsided she steadied hersolf "Seven feet!" "Sev six and a half !" "Six feet ! Six f " Bang! She hit tho bottom! George shouted through the tube : "Spread her wide open! Whale it al her " Pow wow chow! Tho escape pipes belched snowy billows of steam aloft, the boat aground, and surged and trembled and slid over into "M-a-r-k twain !" "Quarter her " "Tap ! tap ! tap ! (to signify, "Lay in the leads.") And away she went, tlymg up the willow shore, with tho wholo silver sea of the Mississippi stretching abroad on every hand. No Amaranth in sight! ''Ha-ha, boys, we took a couple of sticks that time!" said tho Captain. And just at that moment a red glare appeared in the head of the chute, and tho Amaranth came springing after them. 1 "Well, 1 swear. "Jim, what is the meaning of that?" I'll tell you what's the meaning of it. That call we had at Napoleon was Wash Hastings, wanting to come to Cairo, and we didn t stop. He s in that pilot-house, now, showing those mud-turtles now to hunt lor easy water. That's it! I thought it wasn't any slouch that was running that middle bar in Hog-eye Bend. If it's Wash Hastings well, what ho don't know about tho river aint worth knowing a regular gold-leaf, kid glove, diamonuVbreaitpin pilot, Wash Hastings is. We won't take any tricks off him. old man." "I wish I'd a stopped for him, that's all." ' Tho Amaranth was within 300 yards of the Boreas, and still gain ing. The "old man'- spoke through the tube : "What is she carrying now?" "A hundred and sixty-five sir!" "How's your wood?" "Pine all out cypress half gone eating up Cottonwood like pie !" "Break into that rosin on tho main deck pile it in, the boat can pay for it." Soon tho boat was plunging and quivering and screaming more madly than ever. But the Amaranth's head was almost abreast the Boreas' stern. "How's your steam, Harry?" "Hundred and eighty-two, sir!" "Break up the cakes of bacon in the forrad hold! Pile it in! Levy on that turpentine in tho fantail drench every stick of wood with it!" The boat was now a moving earth quake by this time. "How is she now?" "A hundred and ninety-six and still a swelling water below the mid dle guago cocks carrying every pound she can stand nigger roost mg on the safety valve!" "Good! How's your draft?" "Bully! Every time a nigger heaves a stii.k of wood into the fur nace he goes out of the chimney with it!" The Amaranth drew steadily up till her jack-staff breasted the Boreas' wheel-house climbed along inch by inch till her chimneys breiutcd it crept along further und further till tho boats were wheel to wheel and then they closed up witli a heavy jolt and locked together tight and fast in the middle of the big river, under the "flWliug moonlight! A roar and a hurrah went up from the crowded decks of both steamers all hands rushed to the guards to look, and shout, and gesticulate the weight careened the vessels toward each other officers Dew hither and i ALBANY, OREGON, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, thither cursing and storming, trying to drive the peoplo amidships both Captains wore leaning over their rail ings shaking their fists, swearing and threatening black volumes of smoke rolled up and canoped the scene, de livering a rain of sparks upon the vessels two pistol shots rang out, and both Captains dodged unhurt and the packed mass of passengers surged back and fell apart while the shrieks of women and children soared above the intolerable din And then there was a booming roar, a thundering crash, and the riddled Amaranth dropped looce from her hold and drifted helplessly away. Instantly tho fire doors of the Boreas were thrown open, and the 'men began dashing buckets of water in the turnacos for it would have been death and destruction to stop the engines with such a head of steam on. As soon as possible tho Boreas dropped down to the floating wreck and took off the dead, the wounded and unhurt at least all that could be got at, for .the whole forward half of the boat was a shapeless ruin, with tho great chimneys lying crossed on the top of it, and underneath were a dozen victims imprisoned alive ana wailing for help. While men with axes worked with might and main to free these poor fellows, tho Boareas' boats went about, picking up strag glers from the river. And now a new horror presented itsslf. The wreck took lire from the dismantled furnaces! Never did men work with a hoartior will than did those stalwart braves with the axes. But it was of no use. Tho fire ate its way steadily, despising the bucket brigade that fought it. It scorched the clothes, it singed the hair of the axemen it drove them back foot by foot inch by inch they wavered, struck a final .blow in tho teeth of the enemy, and surrendered. And as they fell back thoy heard prisoned voices Baying: "Don't leave us! Don't desert us! Don't, don't do it!" And one poor fellow said: "I am Henry Worlcy, striker of the Amaranth. My mother lives in St. Louis. Tell her a lie for a poor devil's sake, please. Say I was killed in an instant and never knew what hurt me though God knows Iv'e neither scratch nor bruise this moment! It's hard to burn up in a coop like this with the whole wide world so near. Good bye, boys we've all got, to come to it at last, .anyway!" ' The Boreas stood away out of dan ger, and the ruined steamer went drifting down the stream an island of wreathing and climing flame that vomited clouds of smoko from time to time, and glared more fiercoly and sent the luminous tongues higher and higher after each emission. A shriek at intervals told of a captive that had met his doom. The wreck lodged upon a sand-bar, and when the Bo reas turned the next point on her up ward journey, it was still burning with scarcely abated fury. When the boys came down into the main saloon of the Boreas they saw a pitiful sight, and heard a world of pitiful sounds. 'Elovon poor crea tures lay dead, and forty more lay moaning, or pleading or screaming, while a score of Good Samaritans moved among them doing what they could to relieve their sufferings; bath ing their skinless faces and , bodies with linseed oil and lime-water, and covering the places with bulging masses of raw 'cotton that gave to every face and form a dreadful and inhuman aspect. A uttlo wee i rench midshipman of 14 lay fearfully injured, but never uttered a sound till a physician of Memphis was about to . dress his hurts. 'Can I get well? You need not be afraid to tell mo." "No I I am afraid you cannot." "Then do not wasto your time with me help those that can get well." "But " "Help those that can get well I It is not for me to be a girl. I 'carry tho blood of eleven generations of soldiers in my veins!" The physician himself a man who had seen service in tho navy in his time touched his hat to this little hero and passed on. The head ongineerof tho Amaranth, a grand specimen of physical man hood, struggled to his feet a ghastly spectacle, and strode toward his broth er, the second engineer, who was un hurt. He said: "You were on watch. You were boss. You would not listen to me when I begged you to reduce your steam. Take that! take that to my wife, and tell her it comes from mo by the hand of my murderer! Take it! and take my curse with it to blis ter j'our heart a hundred years and may you live so long!" And he tore a ring from his finger, stripping flesh and skin with it, threw it down, and fell dead! But these things must not be dwelt upon. The Boreas landed hor dread ful cargo at the next large town and delivered it over to a multitude of ea ger hands and warm Southern hearts a cirgo amounting by tliis time to thirty-nine wounded persons, and twenty-two dead bodies. And with these she delivered a list of ninety-six missing persons that had drowned or oJienvi.se perished at thd scone of this terrible disaster. A jury of inquest was impimnelod, and after due deliberation und inqui ry, they returned the inevitable ver dict, which has leen so familiar to our ears all the days of our lives "Nobody to blame." In a note tho authors vouch for the entire authenticity of the above account.) From the GlUkd Ay, a no,vel written conjointly- by jfark Twain and Clrarlcs V. Warner. Grange blanks printed and for sale at thu cilice. SHAM ECONOMY. - There is a vasi deal of pretense at Washington on tho subject Of re trenchment. Tho departments are going through the motions of cutting on some ot the monstrous excrescen ces and diminishing estimates that were purposely oxugerated. Mem bers of tho Committee of Ways and Means are using the telegraph to fool the country with a pretended zeal in the same direction. This whole busi ness is a sham from beginning to end. No earnest disposition has been shown either by the Administration or by Congress to bring down tho expenditures to a real peace basis. The cost of carrying on the Govern ment has multiplied in the ratio of seven for one when compared with the increase of population during the last decade. Extravagance, corruption and prod igality are the causes of this extraor dinary disparity. Abuses have grown into accepted uyngo that were never tolerated until the advent of Grant ism. Offices have been created mere ly to reward partisans. The contingent funds of every cabinet officer and all the heads of bureaus have been cov erted into a source of personal profit by which their compensation is large ly increased. Deception is habitually practiced m tho estimates sent to congress. The Secrotary ' of the Navy obtains millions under tho disguise of neces sary "ropairs," and applies this fund to building new ships, lhe naval committees are "seen," and thoy con nive at a barefaced fraud. The Indians are decreasing in num ber every year, yet the appropria tions augment in the inverse ratio of their decline. U nder the noucw pre text of a Christian policy, the out growth of Christian statesmanship, eight millions were expended for this service during the last fiscal year, and a million more is demanded for deficiencies. In other words, nine millions against two millions eight hundred thousand in 18(il, when the Indians were almost doubly as strong as they are now. While the Indian Bureau is connected with the Interi or Department, and that continues to be presided over by Columbus De lano, those expenses will grow as they have grown under a system of plun der and swindling, by which an infa mous ring is enriched, the Indians are cheated and the Treasury is plun dered. Where reform of these and other flagrant outrages is proposed, Gar field, at the head of the appropria tions, answers that they are authoriz ed by law. That is to say, an amend ment is cunningly attached to some bill this year at the close of tho ses sion, by which a permanent outlay is incurred, an office established, or a service enlarged, without the discus sion or the knowledge of Congress. Next year it is added to the regular estimates, and if a careful member objects to the new item, Garfield rises and reads him a lecture, saying that the money is only asked to carry out a law. And so it goes on year by year un til millions are voted to overy supply bill, which are nothing but gross frauds. This cannot bo done without collusion, and it is no secret in Wash ington that tho important chairman ships in the Senate and House of Representatives are sought for the opportunities which they aflord of making money. Iu this way tho ap propriations are constantly kept swelling, until tho present propor tions have been reached. Special and class interests, which are protected by vicious and corrupt tariu's, join hands with the profession al plunderers, to put up the expenses to the highest poiut, without regard to the publio interest. While this system is permitted to continue, their revenues are augmented und their monopolies more firmly fixed. So that the country is not only taxed di rectly for tho tens of millions which are thus stolen and squandered, but is also mado to pay tribute to these monopolies, who buy any legislation they. need at Washington. To tamper with this condition of thinus by reducing somo of tho most notorious extravaganco would bo like treating u deadly cancer with court plaster. There is but one remedy, and that is to strike at mo rootoi ine evil. The plain duty of Congress, at least of thoso niemliers who are earn est about reform, is to fix a limit of expenditure in the public service, and say plainly to the Executive and the departments, that they must live within this prescribed sum, and that no deficiencies will be tolerated. That is the only method of certain retrenchment. If the President had been at all inclined to stay the abu ses, he could have done much by nn order to that ell'ect and by his own supervision. Ho had more power to reform the civil sorvices by example and exaction than all tho laws that could be passed in any Congress. But ho has no disposition to do one or the other. In fact the wholo of his official and personal influence has been thrown on tho side of extrava gance and in favor of venal rings. He is responsible for his own double pay, for tho most insulting appoint ments, and for the protection of rogues who have plundered the treasury. It remains to be seen if Congress will end a it has begun, in sham. Courier-Journal. American steels are claimed to be fully equal to English steels, but American steals are certainly far ahead of nnythir.g in the world. The lady who asked for a pound of ceriU nial tea the virtues of which are being so widely extolled only succeed ed in mystifying her grocer. A boy lately ran to a police man and told him that there u a peraon in the next street tearing up the pave mout. " "Bobby" hastened round the corner, but saw only a man n'rgcti cally running alter an omnibus! 1874. DOKH UEK OWN WOUK? I Does sho? What of it? In it a disgrace to her? Is she tho less a true woman, less worthy of respect than she who sits in Bilk and satin, and is v ain of lingers which never know labor? We heard this sneer a fow days ago, and the tone in which it was uttered lias been a nuisance ever since. It betokens a narrow, selfish, ignoblo mind, better fit for any place than a Democratic country, whose institutions rest on honorable labor as one of the chiof corner stones. It evinces a false idea of the true basis of society, of true wo manhood, of genuine nobility it shows the detestable spirit of caste, of rank, which a certain class among us one striving to establish a caste whose sole, foundation is money, and is tho meanest kind of rank known to civilization. Mind, manners, morals, and all that enter into a grand character, are of , no account with these social snobs, position in their stilted ranks is bought with gold, and each additional dollar is another round in the ladder by which elevation is gained. In matter of fact, is it more dis honorable for the merchant's wife to do her work, than for the merchant to do his? - for her to look after her house, than for mm to look utter his store? Or is a woman nothing only to bo tickled with a feather and pleased with a straw? It seems to bo the highest ambition in some circles to be, or profess to be, not only "above" work, but even "ignorant" of how work is to bo done; and if the table is poorly spread, if the housekeeper is at sixes and sevens, the "help" receives maledictions without stint, but the "lady" takes none of the responsibility upon her solf. She looks into the kitchen she knows how broad should be made, or a steak broiled she knows when the flour is out, or the sugar in? Absurd! "Help" may be bad enough, but what interest can the girl in the kitchen iesl in tho house hold economy, if the lady iu the parlor has none? If the mistross negleots all domestic duties, will the maid be thoroughly conscientious? Will the husband's business go on woll if he neglects it? And why should that of the wife prosper un der lack of responsibility. An aristocracy of wealth is the most inexcusable, the silliest of any social distinction, and yet it is that which many of our citizens, many of our otherwise sensible young people are fostering and trying to establish. It is quite too fashionable to sneer at labor, and to give the cold shouldor to thoso who are not ashamed to do their own work, or whoso circum stances compel them to do it. If we are to have aristocracy at all, lot it be one of brains and charactor, and not of purse and dancing school politeness. When that happy day shall dawn, when tho true woman and the true man are in their proper position in the social world, m the highest scalo will be thousands who know how to work, ' and, when necessary, are willing to work, while the brainless and pursoful snobs of both sexes will sink by the weight of their own coppers. If a man or a woman, a "gentle man" or a "lady," is ablo to live without actual manual labor, lot thorn be thankful; it is a pleasaut position to occupy; but to be ashamed of the knowledge sufficient to manago the shop or tho kitchen, tho store or tho house, to be ashamed to work, and to sneer at those who do work this is evil, and only evil, and to-day is an abomination in ' 'our best society." Vain woman, was your mother ashamed of work, and are you ashamed of hor that she did work? And young man in kids and clover, did your father got his competency on which you live, by idleuoss? We honor the woman who, when nocossa ry, "does her own work," and de spise those who "sneer." Watch man and JtnJIcctor. A PUOPIIUCV OP 8CUCNCK. Profossor Winchell, in a recent lecture at the Cooper Instituto, New York, entitled, "Glimpses of the Future," argued that "tho final of this world and of all the planets, as foreshadowed by the results of scientific research, would be to bo precipitated into the,, sun. Tho re turning periods of tho comets are growing nhortcr; they always come back a little too soon. The earth is shortening its yoara and drawing nearer to the sun. All tho planets are plowing their way through a resisting medium, and many years ago it began to bo calculated what would be the end of that resistance. It is well demonstrated that the light from the suu is propagated in the form of undulations. Tho light of each star has tremblod along its path on the wings of ether in some cases for 700,000 years! Through tho resistance of this exceedingly tenuous fluid, all tho planets of our solar system are destined to be precipita ted into tho sun and become ono totally refrigerated mass." We guess not. A young man in Ind. sues his fath er for loaned money, which the fath er claims was his own property. Tho father's counsel, in summing up the case of his client, remarked: "Twice has this prodigal returned to his fath er's house; twice has he been receiv ed with open arms; twice for him has the fatted calf been killed; and now he comes back and wants tho old When boss Tweed's occupation was asked by the penitentinry oflicisls he correctly replied, "statuiraan;" for isn't he the State's man for the next twelve years? Cook county 111., is about Complet ing a jail and court-house at Chicago, and the remarkable thing about it is that it will cost $50,000 less than (he original tblimate, 520,000. NO. 27 JOSH BILLING! SPIC'B-UOX. Most every one hives to listen to a slander, but thare aint but phew but what despise the author ov it. What a heartless world this would ba if thar Waz no tears in it. Wizomenare nevorsurprized, while phools are alwuss wondering at every thing tliut happens. I meet a grate many men whoze talk iz liko a buntch ov firS krackers when they are fust tutched oph, full ov pop for a fu minnitts, and then all is over. ... - ' Without munnv, without frionds, and without impudence, iz about az low dowri in this world az enuy man tan git, and keep virtewous. Beware ov the man who iz alwuss reddy to swop old friends for now ones. - The dog that will phollow every body, aint worth kuss. AVheu I pla whist I allwuss like a phool for a partner, for they do hold such good hands,. Thare is nothing that a man iz bo certain ov az he iz ov what ho sees, and yet thare iz nothing after all that deceives him oftner, I hav had people set down bi mi side and konfidonshally uudetake to explain sum thing to mo ov grate ini portanse, and aftor talking 84 min nitts bi tho watch, I not only didn't kno what thoy had been tiiemg to tell , but had forgot a good deal that I knew boforo. Thare iz but little that iz new under the sun, and what iz aint good for mutch. One ov the most perfekt viktorys yu kan achieve over enny man is to beat him in politeness. The rarest artikle quoted in market just now iz good common sense, Yung man yu had better be honest than cunning, and it iz hard work to bo both. After a man haz passed thcage ov 57 about all he kan find to talk about and to brag on iz that he haz got more pains and akes thsu enny ov the rest ov his nauors, I kant tell exackly what's the mat ter ov mo, but I am allwuss just a leetlo shy ov the woman who wears her hair Kut short. , The. world at large judge ov us hi our suckcess. . It ought to kure the pride ov enny man when ho reflekts that thero aint no one living but what owes more to the world than the world owes to him. , To be familiar with overy one and preserve j ure respekt, and their es teem, iz an evideuse of the most re markable tullents, Tho grate mistake that menny peo plo make iz to think that they waz mado before the world waz instead ov S VMHO'M TAX RUOEIPT. A negro living in a neighboring county, having boen fortunate enough to accumulate considerable of this world's goods, desired, as all loyal subjects should, to pay tax on the same. It being a now business to him, he did not know thero was a proper officer for receiving tax and concluded all that was necessary was to find a man with a white skin. Consequently he hailed the first white man ho mot with, "say,, boss, I want to pay my tax; must I gib it to you?" On being told that it would ho received by the comprehending white gentleman, the negro gave him Jttlj, and nskod if that was enough. "I suppose it is," said the white man. "Boss, gin me showin' for dat," said the negro. Again tho wits of the whito man were at work, and he soon hundod the negro a slip of paper with the inscription: "As Moses lifted the serpent out of tho wilderness, likewise ' have I lifted twenty- five dollars out of this d n negro's pocket." Not long aftor this the negro met the tax collector proper. "Done paid it, boss, and here's do 'oeipt," at tho same time handing tho pioco of papor to the officer. He read: "As Moses lifted the serpent out of the wilderness, likewise have I lifted twenty-five dollars out of this d d negro's pocket." "Hold on, boss, you have read um wrong, calculated the astonishod darkey, as he snatched the paper and carried it to another mun who began to rend, ''As Mosos lifted " Hero he was interrupted by tho negro, who exclaimed : ' 'Look-a-yar; just gin mo dat paper, I'm gwine to lift dat whito man out'n his boots, 'fore God I is." AVith this he left, and not having boen heard of since, it is supposed ho is still look ing for the man to whom ho paid his tax. JJatMim, Oa. , Journal. The editor of the Louisiana, Mo., Press, in relating what he knows about farming, touches up tho hog qiiemion In this style: "To make Berkehire pigs out of your hazel phtlors, select a cool day, stand them (in their hums, tied to a sapling, and drive their noses back into their shoulders, leaving about mi inch pro truding. If you look at the agri cultural papers, you will see that all blooded hogs aro tixud that way. If you have any whose noses are longer than the rest ot the body, better sell them to an artesian well company for drills, as you cannot drive the nose back without telescoping the whole pig. When you out up hogs, leave the ham square, leave somo hair too, salt everlastingly, and they will be worth several oenta less per pound tlinh when trimmed and cured so that f Christian can eat them." Although he has been postmaster of a town in Iowa for thirteen years, ana nis name is joun j.nici, uis ac counts are invariably correct. Dog fighting has been prohibited throughout Japan, aud the transgres sors in this respect are to be tirtd and tb dogs will be killed. BuaineM notiri-s In the Local Column cent, per line, eaob insertion. , -' For Icirnl BiiH trnnnienl mlvertii'einentji i per no;iiirr of 12 lines, for the nnt iiir and $1 00 per square for each subsequei. ' sertion. . scissoniNGs. . ; An obituary notice in a Westf . i paper contained the touching intflU gence that the deceased "accumui. ted a little money and ten children " Iu 18C3 Massachusetts had 1.. . miles of railroad, and K'insns not b, s nple mile. Massachusetts now li I'll 6 miles, and Kansas has nean i 2000 miles. A Chicago man wrote to Agasot that be had An apple Which he h'.i preserved for fifty-three years, an i when Agassiz wrote for it the jo!. said it was the apple of his eye. A Maine woman ate four quarts t oysters at one sitting, the other tia , won S100 by so doing, alter dediK- ing her burial expenses ($85), lefth. r $15 to oommouce the next worV with. - ' . "Is it a sin, man pare" said a beifJ to her Confessor, "to listen to iwm who say lam handsome? ' "Certain; ly, nam enfant," replied the abbe, "you ought never to encouruge iiisir cerity. Tints manifesto was recently poste - in the streets of a Down East town "To al! whom it may concern: Tor is to certify that I have failed j m creditors may go and hang them selves. 'Wm.Roi." Tommy cut his finger with the f orf bidden jack-knife, and was told by his sympathetic old nurse: "Nev'el mind," "Bad physic," says Tommy , "it would have been better if I kul minded." A dry-witted soldier of the Tenth' Vermont regimeDt, dnriug the warj was heard to pray When the bullets were falling in showers about him.m follows) "Oh, Lord make me as thin as a knife!" - 1 ' Bailey( of Danbury Jfeiei, How meueed some remarks in a prayer meetings recently, by faying solemn ly; "I would not live always; jot; when I got pretty sick, I always ssud for the doctor." Life is liko a roll of costly material passing swiftly through our hands, and we must embroider our patten; as it goes. We connot wait to piel. up a false stitch, or pause too long before we set another. Times of general calamity and con fusion have ever been productive of the greatest minds. The purest ore is produced from the hottest furneee,1 and the brightest thunderbolt is elic; ited from the darkest storm. A young lady says that a gentle man ought never to feel diseoitrsgeif when the "moment ua question" is negatived l)y the object of his choice, "for in life, as in grammar, we always decline before we conjugate." The scientific world, which hen lately been excited over the reported discovery of a balloon in a tree in tl remote part of Northern Africa, iif now set at rest by the anuouncnient that the article found was a baboon. An Indiana man stole a lawyer's tombstone end had a beer counter made of it, and the justice refused to try him for larceny, holding that the lawyer oould be found at tho last day, even if bis grave is hidden under six-story building. ; Vj- A TRUH) I,A1. Hi A Washington correspondent, in speaking of Washington society, says: In a family whore death has enter ed since the year 187il dawned, thero was a reception. It was hold by Mrs. Sjiraguo, daughter of the lalo Chief Justice and wife of the Senator from Bhodfl Island. Tho reception was an informal onethat is, tho lady extended no invitations, hut saw thoso who called. To say that it waH not announced in the ptSpers would be Superfluous. The press has yet to find the "Sesame" of thoso aristocratic doom. Ever since tho days when, as Katherine Clmse, this beautiful wotnnn, then a lovely girl, was presented to Washington society, she has been in a measure its riiler and its idol. Others have risen, and shone, and set; ' but her' brightness wanes not. Imagine a woirtan rather above than below the medium height, slender, and most exquisitely grace ful. Iter small perfectly-shaped head sets proudly on a long swan liko neck; and whatever fashion may decree bo it topknot, jniJis, or pondorous braids nothing but d simple coil of her own golden brown hair is ever worn by her. The con tour of brow, check, and chin i j faultless; her mouth good; hor com-' plexion clear and fair. In her eyca is hor chief charm long, Egyptian eyes, over which the d.irk-tingcd lids droop so languidly, so heavily, so sadly sometimes, that the nsure be neath grows almost black. Hor nose an, well! what sort of :i noso should such a woman hn Ve? Sou her as she passes down her broad steps, trttinod by good breeding into a semblance as cold as tho stone under, her high-arched foot; haughty, if to active a word could closcritio so im passive a creature, scarcely vouch- sating a glance to the footman who stands obsequious by the carria(;o door, and as she turns from tho luxurious recces to givo her order, you see her profile: you sco that it ouijlu to be classic; you me, thut .it im't classic, because the nose is noither Grecian, ltoman, nor even Anglo Saxon. But I began with her New Year's reception. All the pro fane and vulgar glare of day wort shut out. A subdued light of waxen tapers illuminated rooms whoso air was redolent with a faint, delightful fragrance of rare flowers. And em bowered fitly in this delicate loveli ness she stood, withont jewel or lace, robed in a marvelom ganncnt c snow-white cashmere", chspod armu-l her throat, and falling unbelted io her feet. An' English Judge bar; decided that thread manufacturers who mark "HO0 yards" on spools having but .l-"it yurds aro guilty of no offense if tlicy ship tho spools to America. Can t we ship tire in another loud of woodtii bams and nutmeg',?