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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (July 20, 1877)
. . .ISHZD FRIDAY, BY OOLT-k AN CLEVE, N THE Jtt EGISTER. BUILDING, Corner F'err aw Vrt Streets. v - . TERMS-IV ADVANCE. One oopy, one year 50 One copy, six months i."1 if twenty, each copv 2 00 a;;iKlc copies , Ten cent Sulm-ribprs outside of I.inn connty wilf be f backed 20 centa c.xtra-i 70 for the year-as maulbyu,2 pwuipe1 to on each paper : Areata for (be Kefcister. The following named (centlemcn are author i .x to, ,"ec!lve and receipt for subscriptions to the RKOlSTMl in h lliil ....; ...1 . OTrajs A ijume Robert Gins W.P.Smith O. P. Tompkins . H. Clanhton , A. Wheeler Co Mewrs. Smith 4 Brasflcld. J. B. Irvine Thou. II. Rf-vuoids -Urownsville. . .Crawfordsville. Halsey. Harrisburs Lebanon. SlKKlJ. . . .Junction I'itv. Scio. Salem. VRIDAY . . .JULY 20, 1877. The Teller learns that Joseph pays fie will return and burn out the settlers on Camas prairie within from four to 6ix weeks when the weather is dry. If his scalp is not taken before that time he will be likely to make the attempt. , Every little while we read of some one who has run a rusty nail in his foot, or soma other part of his person, and Itpckjaw has resulted therefrom. All Rich wounds can lie healed without any fatl consequences following them. The remedy is simple; it is only to smoke such a wound, or any wound or bruise' that is inflamed, with burTTmg wool or woolen cloth. Twenty minutes in the 6iooke of the wool will take the pain out of the worst case of inrlamation arising from any wound. ...Wheat. When the grain is so hard that, crushed between the finger nails it breaks into flour and shows no sign of dongh, it is in condition for cutting. When there is a heavy harvest, it is better to begin cutting a little before this, rather than leave it later. The grain to j be kept for seed, should le cut the last, i Tlio stubble should be cut as low as pos- I pible. The best straw is near the root. I A j?elf-binding harvester is a valuable ; piece ot machinery, and can be appreci- i ated by a farmer who has lieen annoyed j Hy itinerant laborers, who demand exces- ! sive pay in tfie hurry ot harvest. Clerk Adams has finally completed j the roll of the next house, and the de- j mocrats ha ye eight majority, according i to the list. There are twelve cases re- A correspondent of a Victoria paper ported and affidavits filed. Neither j writes: Should you or any of your the democratic nor republican member ; family be attacked with diphtheria, do from Colorado will be placed on the roll, j not be alarmed, as it is easily and speed Neither will he place on the roH either ily cured without a doctor. When it Pacheco or Wiggington, the California j was raging in England a short time ago, contestants, or Metcalf and Frosf, the Missouri contestants. - A party who celebrated hereabouts on the 4lh, hands in this: When you Fee a land of eight oi ten "picked" mil-i-icians in a procession playing thirteen d liferent tunes at once, and the bass drummer pounding "Jlollie Darling and Mulligan Guards" out of both cow skins, you can rely upon it that the members of that band don't dwell in harmony. They play by brute force instead of note, and mean 'business' when they make a noise. 'I come here," said Frederick Doug las on a visit to his former Maryland "first of all to see my old master, from norae,whom I have been seperated for forty-one years, tshake his hand, to look into his kind old face and see it beaming with light from the other world. I .left him," said Fred, hesitating, "not because I loved Caesar less but Home more." And the hit was received with cheers and laughter. Chicago has one sad wreck of the Murphy movement. A lady who thugbt berself personally called to battle with the demon of strong drink was not sec onded by her husband, so she left him and her three children and came to Chi. eago. She became interested in one young man and succeeded in reforming him to the extent that she thought it desirable to get a divorce. Her hus band was worth about 8200,000, and she thought she could get enough to set np house keeping again. But she was not in a position to sue for a di vorce, for her husband was the deserted one. She got only $600 out ot the $200,000 and neither of the three chil dren. It is rather a bitter case of per verted woman's rights. i i i ii The Habit of Sneering. When we overvalue ourselves we undervalue our neighbors. Self-conceit is therefore the source of that pharisaical weakness palled contempt. The man who prides himself on his descent sneeis upon the man who relies upon hiuiEelt and cares not who was his great grand-father. The eeU-sufficient purist says to the cape-grace "Go to, wretch I am holier than thou ;" and the millionaire, who regards money not as means, but an end, looks with scorn upon the plod der who is - content with a moderate competence. There are a tew things in this world so utterly contemptible as contempt. It is the vice of vanity and is a senratien unknown to true great ness. A friend at our elbow says that the Best investment he knows of would be to buy a cage of Hosier and Butler, put them in charge of bilwatkyns, travel around the country and exhibit tbem at 4 bit a head. A 21 AT TE It OF PUBLIC NEED. Says the Portland lice : The tele graph informs us that a regiment has been ordered to join General Howard from the Department of the South. From its 6tation in the Mississippi val ley, it will reach San Francisco by rail road, which passes within about four hundred miles of the seat of war ; but at San Francisco it will be twelve hun dred miles from its destination, and that distance will have to be traveled by stcamsUip, steamboat, two railroad por tages and nearly one hundred miles of to: t or horseback transportation. This experience will probably impress upon the Government how decidedly public iiccessitics demand the construction of a railroad from Salt Lake to Portland. At present it will require about twenty davs for the 2d rejriment to lain Gen. Howard, whereas, with sreh'a means! of transportation, they could have been j at headquarters within six or seven days, j Let the press of the State submit these! facts to a candii people. j A l'BDIROl SKA-rLOWEB. One of the exquisite wonders of the sea is called the opelet, ad is about as larce as the German aster, looking, in- i " ' deed, very much like one. Imagine a j very large double aster, with a great j many Ions petals of a Iizht rreen order. L glossy as satin, and each one tipped with a rose color. These lovelv petals do not lie quietly in their places, but wnvA alvnit iii thi? wafer, while: the one- let clings to a rock-, now innocent ana i lovely it looks on its rocky bed ! Who j would suspect that it would cat any- thing grosser than dew or sunlight ?! But those beautiful waving arms, as yort call them, have use besides loolcing'pret ty. They have to provi lo'for a- large, open month, which is hidden down deep among them, so hidden that one can scarcely rind it. Well do they perform their duty, for the instant a foolish little fish touches cue of the rosy tips, ho is struck with poison as fatal to him as lightning. lie immediately becomes numb, and in a moment stops struggling, and then the other arms wrap them selves around him and he is drawn into the huge, greedy mouth, and is seen no i more. 1 hen the lovely arms unclose and wave again in the water. (HIE IOB UiniTIIEKIA. I accompanied Dr. Field on his rounds to witness tho so-called "wonderful euro" he performed, while the patients of others were dropping ot on a'l sides. The remedy, to be so rapid, must be simple. All he took with him was powder of sulphur and a quill, and with tliese he cured every patient without ex ception, lie put a teaspoonful ot brim stone into a wineglass of water, and stirred it with his finger, instead of a spoon, as the sulphur does not readily amalgamate with water. When the sulphur was well mixed lie gave it as a gargle, and in ten minutes the patient was out or danger. Brimstone kills every species of fungus in man, beast, or plant in a few minutes. Instead of spit ting out the gargle, he recommended the swallowing of it. In extreme cases in which he had been cal'ed just m the nick ot time, when the fungus was too near closing to allow the gargling, he blew the sulphur through a qnHl into the throat, and after the fungus had shrunk to allow of it, then the gargling, i He never lost a patient from diphtheria. ! If a patient cannot gargle, take a live ' coal, put it on a shovel, sprinkle a spoon ful or two of flour brimstone ul a time upon it, and let the 6uflerer inhale it. holding the head over it, and the fungus will din. This mode of using sulphur has often cured cold in the head, chest, etc., and is recommended for consump tion and asthma. Princess DemidotT, a young Russian lady, wearing the full uniform of a Hus sar, and mounted on a magnificent charger, rode at the head ot a splendid regiment of cavalry, through the out skirts ot Bucharest not long ago. She is the daughter of the honorary colonel and proprietor of the regiment, who is reported as spending 850,000 a year up on it. No Kussian cavalry is so well mounted, the horses averaging sixteen hands, comprising' chesnuts, whites, browns and bays respectively. The only equivalent iu the Japanese language tor the English word baptism, or immersion is soaking. T'ho Alliance quotes the following ludicrous illustra tion or its application trom a recent translation of the bible into Japanese "In those days came John tho Soak er, preaching the soaking of repentance. Kepent ana De soaked, every one otyou CoiiDt Andrassy looks more like a brigand than any other European states maneven although he's a couut and dressy to boot. ' If Henry Ward Beechcr has made 842,000 in a year, he can well afford to set a good example. The city of Astoria lias ordered a steam firo engine. BABTS S TOCKING. Hang up the baby's stocking, Be sure you don't lorget The dear little dimpled darling. She ne'er saw Christmas yet ; But I've told her all about it. And she opened her big blue e3'es. I'm sure she understands it, S?hc looked so funny and wise. Iear ! what a tiny stocking J It doesn't rake much to hold Such little pink toes as baby'. A way from the frost and eold. But then for the baby's Christmas, It would never do at nil ! Why, Santa wouldn't be looking For anytliing half so small. I'll tell you what we can do I've thought of the very best plan I'll borrow a stocking of grandma. The longest that ever I can ; You'll hang it by mine, deir mother, Kigbt here in the corner, so. And write a letter to Santa. And fasten it on to the toe. Write, 'This is the baby's stocking That han;i in the coi ner, here ; You never have seen her. Stuitn, For she only came this year ; But she's the biessedest darling t ' And. Santa, before you go, Ju-t cram her stocking with goodies. From the top clean down to the toe." PRETTY WIDOW BALDWI5, Mr. Waller Ammidou 'aid his knife and fork down with a gesture of abso lute despair. "Not going to clean house again. i 'M-.- n...i : . wi, : :s . , ... " , . .. we had onlv just recovered from the Jrea.lful teariug-up 'process of last Spring." Hi,,.-.,. . -xlrp- Ier.eiwt slowly dropped four a, of sugar into his coffee, then it to him, utterly regardless of the mierv in his 1"-o is face. .earing-up !' that's per 3Ir. Ammidon. As if ureaotui tearing-up v that's per- u'ct nonsense. you were very much inconvenienced r , , f.nrnfl,s ,, the curtains down and the painting going on. Of course-I shall clean; it's m liabit an(J lias been tor twenty-two years." Mr. Ammidon gave a little groan at the sad fate that awaited him that awaited all bachelors in boarding hous es in the shape of several consecutive days of bare tlnors, and the odor of soapj of cold dinners eaten wlierever it was convenient to set the dining-table ; of Mrs. Benedict in a chronic state of bus tle and crossness, and the servants im pudent, tired, and sulky ; of wide-oxn doors and windows where the draughts tore through. lie. was a gentleman, however, Mr. Ammidon was, and so repressed his ill temper and disgust, and mental male dictions that house-cleaning was a pure ly malicious instigation ot his Satanic majesty for the torment of mankind. ''We'll be so nice and sweet and clean," Mrs. Benedict went on, with horrible cheerf'ilness, "and I've been thinking t hat I'll have your rooms new ly papered, Mr. Ammidon. I'm sure you'll like that?" "Very rauoh wheu it's done, mad am." And he cut his meal short and rush ed out of doors into the cool, fresh Oc tober evening air. "Ah, bah ! I can already experience the agonies of last Spring. Good Heav en! the woman must be made ot cast iron to attempt such a siege again. It is no wonder her husband died, if he suffered two attacks of house-cleaning a year, and 1 shall die or grow crazy un less I leave her but I suppose al! women are equally idiotic." A groan ot genuine misery broke out from his lips as he strode along, his hat jammed over his eye- very unlike the handsoms gentleman he really was, with his (rank cheery Uice and pleasant month, with the teeth, and the ha f-eurling. thick dark hair, and the grave, intelli gent ej'es, that nothing could ruffle as the idea of .Mrs. Benedict's semi-annual "tearing-up'' a courteous, refined, gen iaj gentleman, whom society found a puzzle because of his persistent bache lorhood, when it knew ot at ea-t a half dozen w. 'meu whet would hae jumped at the faintest chance of an offer of mar riage from him who hmiself wonder ed why he had never fallen in love and whom pretty little Mrs. Baldwin, the blue-eyed, blonde-haired widow, with no encumbrance, a house of her own, and an income of three thousand a year, often felt quite piqued with, that he was so very ummpressionab e. So Mr. Ammidon strode a'ong,' al most mechanical y turning corners, his pace gradual y growing slower; and then, all at once, he heard the brilliant tones ot a piano as some skilled hands played, and, looking up, found himself in front of a warmly-lighted, cheery, hospitable house tho very bouse .vhere Mrs. Bessie Baldwin lived. The contrast was so startlingly vivid between the pictures in his imagination that he involuntairly paused one, the picture of tho way Mrs. Benedict's boarding-house would look the next day the other of how Mrs. Baldwin's elegant little home always appeared when he called there, and as it appear ed now through the lace curtains qui et, warm, hospitable, inviting. And like a revelation from Heaven, it came to him: air idea, a determina tion 60 strong, so resistless, that he walked forthwith up 3irs, Baldwin's front steps, and rang the door-Dell, wondering as ho did it why the music had ceased, and where the player bad gone. "I'll marry her, if 6he'll have me : and then we'll see how many times a year the house is cleaned ; that is if" Then the door opened, and the maid invited him into the parlor, with the information that Mrs. Baldwin had just run into a neighbor's by the side gate, but would be back directly, if the sick c'uild was better t-.e had gone to see. Mr. Ammidon esconced himself in the easiest chair in the room a great, deep, wide, cushioned affair that was drawn up by the little low table under the chandelier. "Bless her pretty blue eyes! Gone to see a sick child ; I like that I like it. What a blessing that it occurred to me to offer myself to such a good-hcarled, cheerful, tender, fond little woman as she is, and what a miraculous fool I have been not to have done it long ago! Why, honestly, I feel as though I had been in love with her all along ; and I believe I have been and never knew it." His handsome head leaned comforta bly against the cushions, and his well shaped, well-bootad feet were crossed on a low ottoman near the fire that burned cozily and brightly. He waited ten twenty thirty min utes, and when 6he did not come at the expiration ot three-quarters of an hour, Mr. Ammidon was conscious of a keen disappointment that astonished himseit. "At all events, my object shall be accomplished, so far as 1 can accom plish it," he thought. And he took his gold and ivory pen cil, and wrote an ardent, courteous, un deniably eager statement of his case, asking her to lie his loved wife, and begged an answer on the morrow, when she should be visiting Mrs. Benedict. "I accidentally learned you would take tea with us to-morrow night, '' he wrote, Vaud I must know at once when I njeet you if 1 am the blessed man I hoe to lie. It you can look favorably on my suit, let me know by answering 'Yes' to the first question I put to you. If it is otherwise, I will not troub'e you auy furl her." Then he signed himself suitably, put the folded and addressed note" conspicu ously On the top of a pile of newspaper and sheet music on the piano, and took his leave in a strange whirl of excite ment and expectation. Halt an hour later, Mrs. Baldwin came in, stopping as she passed thevdin-iug-room door to speak to the girl. ' You carried all those papers and the music up-stairs, Annie, as I told 3-ou?" "The very minute the gentleman went away, Mrs. Baldwin it was Mr. Ammidon, and he came just as you went out." "Oh, that's too bad that I was not in! Mrs. Mary's little Edith is very, very sick, Annie." And so Mrs. Baldwin never knew of the precious letter, as she sat there alone by tho fire thinking of the caller she had missed with genuine sorrow, and paling cheeks, and eyes full of dis appointment. For pretty Mrs. Bessie, with her soft blue eyC3 and rebe liously curly hair, was more interested in tiie handsome bachelor than she eared to admit even to herself. The next day she dressed with un usual care for her afternoon visit to Mrs. Benedict, wondering, as she basted the soft little niching iu the neck of her sleeveless velvet jacket, and adjusted the pout's of her black siik overskirt, whether or not Mr. Ammidon would think .-d.e looked well, and whether, possibly, he might not escort her home. So her eyes were dancing witli radi ant blue sunshine, and her cheeks were flushing a most delicious pink rose hue, and her lovely mouth dimpling in be witching smiles, when Mr. Ammidon came into the sitting-room several min utes before the time for the dinner-bell to ring Mr. .niniidon, handsomer than she had ever seen him, in a dark blue cloth suit, with white tie, ai d his face so grandly intelligent and animated as he went up to her and offered her his hand, looking straight in her eyes as he spoke, very quietly, but with all his fate in Ins wo Is and she so smil- j lug, so unconscious. "I am very glad to see you, Mrs. Baldwin. Didn't you find it very cool this afternoon ?" Then she met his gaze, and hating herself because her heart vas throbbing so gladly at sight of him, and despising herself because lie had thrilled her from head to foot. Then, never knowing her fate was iu it, she turned her beautiful faco care lessly away, and withdrew her hand, ami answered him. "No; I thought it charmingly pleas ant. ' And Mr. Ammidon recoiled as if ho had been struck a dreadful blow, and could not, for the life of him, console himself ivitii the conviction that women were fools, and men were well rid of them. The next day he told Mrs. Benedict he would not want hi apartments any longer, and had his trunks packed and sent to a hotel. Mr. Ammidon determined to kill two birds with one stone to get out of the possibility of having to meet often Mrs. Benedict's friend, the pretty, merciless little woman, than whom he I. ad never loved another, and to make his home where hUnse-cleaning was unknown ; and Bessie cried till her eyes were red and swollen, to think how entirely iudifler ent Mr. Ammidon was to her. And the Winter crept slowly along and s;tt, white, snowy robes, and sev eral times Mrs Baldwin saw Mr. Am. mid on diivuig -.past, altli"Ugh.he .did not do more, as lie passed, than glance carelessly at the window and bow. And the sweet, warm Spring days came, and with perfumy hints of roses and woodbine, and fresh, emerald leaves, and climbing vines, and bursting blos soms, came Bessie Baldwin's fate, in the shape of the unromantic, the inevi table .Spring cleaning that must be un dertaken and accomplished, no matter how temptingly balmy sunshine and fragiant breezes and cloudless skies clamored for promenades and drives in order to welcome them. Thus it happened that Mm. Bald win was ensconced in ono of her cham bers, with a blue veil tied tightly over her golden ' hair, and her muslin dress pinned up in front, disclosing ravishing ly lovely feet despite tho half-worn boots with a basket lying in readiness beside her, and her faithful ally, Anuie, wait ing to consign piles of waste to deathly ignominy, and the paper and rag mau. "Only tnio pile, Annie, .and areiz't you g".ad we're so nearly done ? Here, you sort the papers, and I'll see that nothing worth saving has been put with this music." And a minute after the soft, rustling stillness was broken by a sudden ejacu lation from Mrs. Baldwin, and Annie looked up, wide-eyed, to 6eo her read ing a pencilled note, with paling lace and trembling lips. "It's a letter I lost, that's all." Au- nie. j Go on with the papers. There's a man at the door. I'll go down. You can finish." And with fluttering heart, and eyes that were suspiciously bright, Mrs. Bes sie went dowu stairs, glad of an oppor tunity to get away by herself a lew minutes to think it all over, to try to realize that it was true that Walter Ammidou had loved her. And she brushed away tears that were both rapturous and full of disap pointment and fear, and opened the front door to Walter Ammidon. He bowed with a little look of sur prise and chagrin, fearful lest, now that liis love for Bessie Baldwin had over leaped its boundaries, and forced him to a second attempt to win her love that had become more precious in pro portion as it seemed unpossessable fearful lest his coming, as suggested by her appearance, was inopportune and awkward. But Mrs. Baldwin flushed, and smiled and looked lovely, despite tho old blue veil, j And then he suddenly discovered that she held iu her hand the note he had written her six months ago. Site answered his inquiring look as she conducted him into the parlor. "I have only this moment read your letter1. Oh, Mr. Ammidon, what must yon have thought of me all this time?"- II is face lighted gloriously. 'That you were, the sweetest little darling In all the world, whom I loved so, and wanted so, that I came again to-day to plead my cause. Bessie, con sider that letter written just now what would be the answer V" And she dropped tier white eyelids, and'lialf averted her sweet, blushing face, and the answer came through her parted lips, so low that only a lover's ear would have known she said "Yes." sp And Mr. Ammidon never finds fault when his wife "cleans house," because he knows if it had not been for that abused institution, ho might yet be a lonely bachelor in Mrs. Benedict's es tablishment. I THE fSVMSG BIRD. Dear little bluebird. Herald of spring. Swallow this cough drop, Poor little thing ! AVarbliiift so hoarsely Of April's approach ; Hunting: around for a Bronchial troche. Poor little bluebird, Doir't you fro olT ; Tie up your little neck, Doctor that cough. Soon April violets. Kissed by the breeze. Will shiver and wince a3 they List to your sneeze. Don't be discouraged yet, Herald of spring ; Shake nil the icicles Off from your wing. Who knows what wnndera Cough cure may do ; Sing, little bluebird. 'At-chee ! At-choo !" Burlington Havfkeve. Paex.tla S Topers, In Canyon City, flour is worth $G and $7 -i barrel. A signal station of the first-class has established at Boise City, Idaho. A volunteer company of forty-two men has been raised at I'lacerville, Ida ho, for the Ind an war. j In the little town of Milton, in East- fern Oregon, houses are so scaice that peoplo have to live in tents. A lal named Alvan Blowers, fell into the bay from the wharf at Coupville, W. T, last Monday, and was drowned. A. project is on toot fbr stocking our sound -stream with Columbia river sal mon. It isexiected that an appropria tion for that purpose will beasked from the legislature. Indians on Puyallup reservation are cutting and hauling tl eir hay. They use M-ylhes, pitchforks, rakes, horses and wagons. The' will cut heavy crops of wild and timothy hay this summer. Mrs. Norton, who was killed by the Indians in Idaho, was a sister of miss Linn Bowers, who was rescued by the pickets. They were from Linn county, in this State. Sheep shearers in Eastern Oregon are having a lively contest for the champion ship. ;Tlf latest feat reported is the shearing of 115 sheep iu eight hours and a half,! by Chas. Connoyer, of Butter creek, i We cannot but admire tho fairness and discretion ot tho editor ot the East Oregonian. In an "explanation" to a neighber editor, ne says: "Whenever we do a wrong and are convinced ot it, we will quickly apologize for we only weigh 123 pounds now 1"- Quality. When Mrs. George Washington Lee "one of the finest fam ilies of Yarginny," appeared at the door the other morning, and yelled across the street: "Chillun, come hear to yo' mudder !" they "kumd" iu a hurry. "Martha ashiiigton aud Thomas Jefferson, what's I tole you about play in widj po white trash ?" "Nntlin." "Noffin ! Dont get my passion rose, chillun, or III w'ar you out." "We's tell in da truf." "Dont I slabe for you day arter dav ober de wash tub for de quality ? Don't I try to make you spectibul ? Don't I gin you de grub dat fills yo' stummicks? You heah me?" : "Yossum." f "Is you gwine to do it any mo?" "Nome." ; i "Dat'll do now ; take yo' fingers out'f yo mouf, and you, Martha Washington, get the big dish pan and take yo' brud dcr, Thomas Jefferson, and go down dar below de depot and get a moss of greens ; I'll zamiue yo' heads when you comes back, aud it I finds a single booger in em I'll know you's been playiit' wid de white trasli agiu and I'll tan denvbrack hides o' yo'u scarnulous." Whisky on tho advance. A bottle of it brought 8200 in Edinburgh the other day. It is 102 years old. 'SORTS. Whai lovers swear To be true unto death. What husbands swear unfit tor publication. "What did you get ?" she asked as he returned from a two days' deer bunt, "Got back !" wasjjtbe cool reply. In the Kingdom of Prussia, among 6,000,000 births, there were seventy nine cases ot four at a birth and one case of five at a birth. "We want all the 'truth,'' 'said'-the judge to the Irishman. "Indade, ye shall have it all, and more," was the reply. A grocer in Washington advertises that lie has "whisky fbr sale that has been drunk by all the Presidents, from Gen. Jackson down to the preseut time." An Irishman having bought a pair of boots that were too small for him. "Faith," said he, "I shall have to wear them three or four times before I get them on!' Observe a young father trying to ap-. pease a bawling baby, and you'll wit-ne-s ingenuity . enough in ten minutes to make you think that man ought to be an inventor. "You go to Sheeaggo, hey?" said the gentleman from Germany. "VeH, you Ie brelty gareful about dat vater dere. Efyou dond vant to ket seeK, j'on trinke node uf dat vater dill you ket used to him. "Pa," asked an up-town boy, the other day, "what is mem by paiadise?" "Paradise, my son," replied the father gloomily, "paradise is the latter part of next summer, when your mother goes on a visit to your grandmother." "You came here in March," said Mrs. Liverwost to her new boarder. "Yes," answered Mr. Mincnendon, musingly, "I remember now that I did I recall a timely circumstance I found a March hair in the butter!" He was making a call, and they were talking of literature. "The Pilgrim's Progress," she remarked, "always seems to me painful. Of course yon have read Bunyan ?" He said he had one on each foot, they were quite red, and troubled him a good deal. Though, not very uncommon, it is still very queer, that some people arc sure to break out all over their bodies after eat ing strawlierries, and it is well known that oranges sometimes make people blind, after they have eaten them, for a number of hours. The time may not be far distant when the pious missionary man will remain at the old homestead, and preach to the heathen through the cable telephone, and when the distant cannibals will sad ly gaze at each other and indulge in profitless conjectures as to the llavor of liis ribs. A Scotch minister, in one of his paro chial visits, met a cow-boy, and asked him what o'ch ck it was. "About twelve, sir," was the reply. "Well," remarked the minister, "I thought it was more." "It's never any more litre," said the boy; "it just begins at one a;ain." An agent soliciting subscriptions for a book, showed the prospectus to a man who, after reading, "One dollar in boards, anfl one dollar and twenty-five cents in sheep," declined subscribing as he might not have boards or sheep on hand when called upon for payment. A Cosirocxu Kiss. A humorous friend of ours used to be particularly en tiiusiaslic on the c'assio subject of oscu lation. He declared that there were tew "sciences ' so difficult. of acquisition. "People," said he, "will kiss, yet tu t one in a hundred knows how to extract bliss from lovely lips any more than 1 e knows how to make diainondscliarcoa ." He used to relate his experience of a good-night's iiss, imprinted on the lips of his inamorata after haying escorted her to and from a New England forfeit party, where she, poor girl, being the lieHe of he evening, had been kissed and, as heexpiessed himself, "slubbered over by all and sundry." He declared that in that one chaste salute he could dis criminate "nine distinct and seperate fla vors," namely, "onions, tobacco, poper mint, gin. lager-lieer, brandy, checker berry, musk and camphor." , The little son of Hon. S. T, Dure!) had his arm broken, a few dayssince,whi'e on the campground at Dixie. Special notices. : Musical. Miss Nettie Piper, teacher oi Vocal and Instrumental music, has recent ly located in Albany, and prepared to give lessxuis in the above named branches. lias had several years experience iu teaching, aud can give the best of references. -4 o rLVITIXJ, Stmnins, Cutting; and Fit ting, Plain Sewing, Hair Weaving, etc. On! I iii(f and flttlnp Children's Clotbiiifr a specially. Cullattlie rooms adjoining the Kkgistek ollice, Albany, Orefcon. Mas. Coll. Vas Clkve. Major White Is located one door west ofFoxBro.'s, First street, Albany, where he is prepared to do all work in bis lino, such as repairing watches, clocks, and jew elry. Also, engraves door-plates, silver ware, &c. Give him a call. The Richmond Range is a great wood saver, and as it throws out less heat than any other good range or stove, it is way up for Summer ue. TO CO?sriMITIVE.l.--Tlie advert ieor.hav Ing been permanent Iv curfrt of that rtre flls easte, Contra n ption. hy a simple remedy. is an x ious to make known to his fellow siillerers ih5 means of eure. To all who desire it. he ill send a copv of tlio prescription use I (tix ot charge), with tlio directions for Prei-ii ing and using the same, which they will ?,""'"? cure for Consumption. Ast hum, Broiictut i.c. dress ltev. burg, X. Y. ho was cured, ftuflerors wishing to prone oy the mivertl-r') exnerloneo can do so by ml dosing fn-r t clontldence, Jou-N B. Oopkn, 42 Codar St., New oi. ' A CAKI. Tn all who are suffering from the errors and indiocret Ions "' yont li. ncrvoiia weakness, early ie"av Ioas of manhood. Ac.. I will send a recipe th wm cmiyou, FREE OK CHARGE.. This ffreat remedy was discovered by a mUssioimry tn South America, fend a selfcaddrcssed enve oiks to the I.'kv. JoftKi'H T. IhMAS, btativn l, Bibtc Jjm-sCj -v'"' ntf vsi. Sensible Advice, Tou are asked every day throng" Vt.a columns of your newspapers and by your Druggist to use soue thing for your JUJS pepsia and Liver Complaint thatyoa Jtnovr nothing about, yont get discouraged E rend ing money with but little success. Now to give you satisfactory proof that Green August Flower will cure you of Dyspepsia and Liver Complaint with all ito.eflectt, such as Sonr Stomach, Sick Headache, Habitual Costiveness palpitation of tho Heart, Heart-burn, Water-brash, Fullness at the pit of the Stomach, Yellow Skin, Coated Tongue, Coming up of food after eating, low spirits, &c, we ask you to ro to your Druggist and get a sample bottle of Green's August Flower for 10 cents and try it, or a regular size lor 75 cents, two doses will relieve yon. n44v9 - PIMPI.ES.-I will mall (free) the recipe for preparing a simple Vegetable Balm that will re move Tan, Freckles, Pimples and BioU-oe, leaving the skin soft, clear and beautiful ; also instructions for producing a luxuriant growth ot hair on a bald head orsmooth face. AddreM Hun. Vnndelf 4 Co., box 6121, NorS Wooster-8t., New York. ton3v8 FOR SALE I AVER Y DESTR A BT-.E business lot 06x100 feet on the corner of Second and Washington streets, Albany. jVlso, lingine. Boiler and Mfl chinery, together with a lot of furniture, lad ders, wheelbarrows, harrows, &c, Ac, all to be sold off cheap for cash, in coneo.nence of re moval on account of sickness Enquire on the premiseaof , . i'UTNAH A CO. Albany, Jan. 10, 1877 nl7 Latesl and !dost Hellahle In t ovulation n!iont the BLACK HIL.L.8, Northern Wyoming and the go -lit Indian War will alwnvs lie found in the Oldest --Largest. Cheapest in tne 7T I l and BEST PA PER in Wyo mtng. . Established in 13fi7. Hatty, tl a month C10 a year. Weekly, 3 mo. $1-6 mo. $1.50 1 year. ?iS0 Hills single copv, 10 cts. II. (iLahkk, Publisner, Cheyenne, Wyo. i v9nl."w4 FOB BLANK DEEDS. Neatly executed, Call itf tiie Register Office OREGON SOLID Fort ' y SHEKItlLL' b EOF CULTIVATOE, AND SEED1ESH. All ZsL?crtas.t Parts ma&o of XSCXT, and Durable as Iron can to. Aiiju3ta"blo to any reaulrel "Dopti Tliilo in motion. ITever Clegs or Chokes on StuVblo or 'Trasjay" Ground. A rmnged for t wo. tlu-ee or four horses abreast Lightest I sra ft Machine in use. t -oi ers and cms all the stroiind. ltroadcat Seeders will sow Mil kinds ef g rain, wet or dry. , EVERY 33ACIISXE W A It -BAKTED. I ask everv farmer to examine my Seeder and Cultivator "lieiore pnrchawinir an Eastern &!a cliine. For furiher rariiculurs address SUEKIliLL., ?I:-rrisIuirg, Oregon. February Q, l77-2Pv9 .TO II PUIN ING !Til HAVIXG P'tTRCHA&ED THE Ex tensive Job Printing KstablishmenUi of the "State Rights Democrat," and the "Albany Jiegi.wor," we are prepared to execute ia first-class style, rnOMI'TLY St. KEASOXABLT, AU kinds of -' BOOK & JOB . -i-.4BB-''H.BI.Eil U I posters and pf.::h,m:.:es - .- -1 Of Every Description. BILL-HEADS AND STATEKEMTS. ISills ol Fare. LETTER Xa:E-A.X)Q BMEr AND X.EQAL 2A&IZS. Cards of all Kinds and Colors, Circulars, JFampliletn, Blank Checks, Receipts, and DeeCn MANSFIELD & MOWTCITII.