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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (June 22, 1877)
tBLISHED " FKtDAT, BY COLL. ANCLEVE, RTEE REGISTER BUILDING, Corner Perry and First Sired. TERMS-IS ABVAKCE. ae c:vpy, omiyeur.. $2 50 One oopy, ?i i month 1 VI - 1 o clubs uf twenty, each copv.... ti 00 sKnitle ioric. Ten cents. - SulMcrlbers owtside of Linn county will be Charged io cent extra! 70 for the year as that Is the amount of postage per annum which we or required to pay on each paper maltod bv us. ' Ageat for tSie KrfUtcr. Th following natnod pentlenicn are author ized to ret-el- and receipt far suiwcriptlons Messrs. Kirk & Hume.. o me kf.oister In the localities mentioned Brownsville. Robert O !b. . W. P. Smith.. O. I. Tompkins t. IT. Clanghton A. Wheeler & Co Messrs. Smith' Brasficld J. B. Irvine... . Thos. H. Rcvnolda . .Crawforxvine. TTnlsey. Harriahurg Le'mnon. Sliedd. .. .Junction t'ltv. Scio. Salem. CRIDAY .JUNE 22, IS77. THE REAL APKIL. FOOL.. . WHAT CAME OF A PRACTICAL JOKK. There lived in a village not far from Uew York City, a gentleman, by name Herdamin Top, who thought there was nothing in lite to equal a good joke, lie owned a Fma'll store and kept al most every article of domestic ami agri cultural use, and was thereby pretty well acquainted with mil the towns people, as they were likewise well ac quainted with hinv Mr. Top had played so many pranks on the people around him' that he would have made enemies but lor his constant good hu mor and las ability to i-oolhe the parties . be had irritated almost beyond the point ef endurance. The 1st of April was Mr. Top' es pecial delight, and that was a smart child who could enter his st re on that day without being made the victim of eeme trick; so that from tnorn to night f of the 1st day of April his face was one broad grin, and it happened that all those wlio sought to catch him had the laugh turned uu themselves. A lew years ago, as the first ot April approached, oar merry friend looked around to see who would be a fittii g subject for a joke. "I must have a first rate oue this time," said he to himself. "Who shall it be? Let me think; ah! X have it Dr. vScroggins; yes, it sha 1 be he. What shall I send a love let ter? No, he looks too woe-begone for that." After considering a while Top drew tho pen and ink near him and wrote as follows: Dr. Scroggins Dear Sir: Please call as early as possible at Messrs. S. & B -s No. ,Vall street, New York, where you will hear something to your advantage." Then, folding and directing the letter, be snapped bis fingers with childish de light. "I'll send him to New York on a fool's errand," said he, "and have a good laugh at his expense." Dr. Scroggins, the subject ot this heartless joke, was a bachelor alout forty years of age; he had been living I n tti I'illatto rttilt. civ riaontha mirl YiOi1 T thus far gotten a very small practice; not that he lacked ability, but he was awkward in his person, and in his man ner not very prepossessing, and being shy and reserved in his disposition, was . but little fitted to push his way into society. He seemed to be very poor, for he rente! a small office, supplied himself with the simplest fare, and his Jpuiige acted as his bed at night. The tir6t day of Apt:l rose bright and clear;- Dr. Scroggius, who was an early riser, prepared his simple breakfast and after partaking of it and arranging bis office, took his seat to await expect ed calls tor consultation, or to request bis attendance on some suffering invalid. But no such calls were made, and the doctor sighed heavily, under the press are of disappointment. . "What can hinder my progress? I understand my profession," he said; iu not a single instance have I failed to give relief when called to the bed of offering. Ah, "me! if I had only my self to care for, I would be content to live on bread and water till I could gain the confidence of the people. But you my poor sister, who have al-ready drank deeply ot the cup of sonow, toast have more added to it. And what can I do? Nothing?' The doctor pulled a letter out of bis m pocket and read: f'l wontd not trouble you, my. dear, kind brother," wrote his sister, "know ing as I do how poor ynr prospects are, and how patiently yon are trying to wait for practice, did not want press Ctj me and my child. If you can spare toe a little ever so little it will come as a blessing, for my extremity is very ereat." Just at this time the letter-carrier' Stopped and handed the doctor a letter; be ppened and looked at it in perfect amazement, then read it over the sec ond time. "Something to my ad vantage!. What can it be?" said he. "Dear sister, should there be anything cod in store lor me, bow freely will I share it with yon and youT darling Emma! Surely the good God has beard and answered lay prayer." , -. The doctor,, who bad little prepara - tfon to make, started for the city, and Top, who was on the lookout for him, could scarcely bide his exultation at sepdirg off an inoffensive man who eonld barrel y support himself, on a need less errand ot expense and trouble. . The doctor, as he wended his way to the city, waa so fully possessed with the L.r!nf W I11"" (tor he had SIfJ i1? and left bim fortune, hat he had ui imagination, made varU ?t8- -f Jt Wot arrived st the end of his journey. "Can I see one of the gentlemen be longing to the firm?" asked the doctor, t sarin op tho efAM P c i ' Or wvv v kj, iX, x "There is Mr. S." said the individual addressed, referring hira to a middle aged but benevolent looking man. The doctor bowed to Mr. S., and said: "My name is Dr. Scioggins." Mr f. bowed in return, and said: "Will you walk in and tske a ciiair, sir?" Roth gentlemen sat down. About Mr. S., there was an air of expectancy which the doctor did not fail to notice. "My name is Dr. Pcrogaings," said he, relating his first introduction. "I am glad to see you, doctor," said S., bowing again. "I received a letter from your house, directing me to call here, as yon had something to communicate wliich would be to my advantage " "There must le some mistake," said Mr. S., "no such letter has emanated from us." "Are you sure?" said the victim, turning pale ai.d .handing Mr. S. the letter. After looking over it ho said. "There is no truth in this letter; I am sorry to say that you have lieen made the v;c tim of an idle and renrehensil le jest. To dav, you are aware, is the 1-t ot April." "Is it possible?" said the doctor, clasping his hands." Whocnld have been so unkind, so heartless and cruel?" "Is it, then, a very great disappoint ment?" asked the kind hearted mer chant, struck by the doctor's manner; and by a few but adroit questions he soon found out more of hi history than he intended to communicate, lie di. covered, alwt, that he was the son of one of his earliest tiiends. "Won d you te willing to take the position of resident physician at the -Ilospita;?" finally a-ked Mr. 8. "To one in my position," said he, "such a place would o most desirab'e; but I do not snppose I could obtain it." "Why not?" "I am a stranger here." "fan yon bring me testimonials ot professional ability?" "I can testimonials of the highest order." "Bring them to me, doctor, at the earliest possib'e moment. I supjHjse you are a man of family?"' "I am unmarried." "That may be an objection. A furn ished house is provided for the physi cian, ai-d a man of family is preferred." "I have a widowed sister who would most gladly join me." "lhaiwil do just as well. Bring your testimonial as soon as possible. I think your April fool letter lias turn ed out something; to your advantage, alter all," langhed Mr. S. Affairs turned out to the satisfaction of both the doctor and the kind-hearted merchant. In less than a month he found himse'r and sister settled in com fortable quarters, with a salary of twelve i Jiidred dobars per annum; moieover, for certain duties required ot her at the hospital, his sister received two hundred do lars in addition. Mr. Top, in tho meantime, looked in vain for the doctor's return, and thought that the mortification at being ma'le an April fool and the tear of being laughed at kept him away. "Where i Dr. Fcroggins? ' he in quired of one after another. But iio one had seen him. Finally he told his fiends that lie had sent him to New York n a fool's errand, the first dav of April, and ho was, no doubt ashamed, to come back," "Look out for next April," Faid they; "the doctor will be even with youthen." "It will take a brighter genius than ho to tool me," replied Top. The first day ot April came around again, and Mr. Top expected certainly to hear from Dr. bcroggins, who, he thought could never forgive him. Sure enough, he letioived a letter from New York. He laughed as he read it.- Mr. Benjamin Top Dear Sir: If you will call at Messrs. W. & H.'s No. Wall street, New York, yon may hear something to your advantage." "Our friend Scnggins is a wit,' said he, "but he wi 1 find me too wide awake to be caught in this trap. Catch me trndging off to New York on a fool's errand Doe" he think I haven't cut. my eye teeth? Dr. Scrogoius don't know this child, he dou't!" But still, the idea haunted him that fie might bo losing something by not heeding the letter, and that dampened in some degree the pleasure he experi enced in having been too sharp for the doctor. Five or six months afterward. Top being in the city on business, happened to meet Dr. Scroggins. "How are you, Doctor?'' said he, grvr.ing the hand of the physician, and smiling one of the smi es peculiar to his face when he fell that lie had p ayed a capital joke on somebody. "I am well. And how are vou, Mr. Top?" "First Tate," replied he,-with irre pressible eiee. "Yon wasn't 6harp enough last April, doctor." -What do you mean?" asked the doctor. "You didn't succeed in get-ing me to the city on a fboi's errand." "I don't understand you, Mr. Top," paid the d.ctor gravely. "W. & P.'s Wall street something to my ad vantage." The doctor looked puzzled. "Yon needn't hjok so innocent, doc tor; I sent you to New York in April, eightoeu months ago, and it is but nat ural that you should wih to pay me in my own coin. l3ut I was too wide awake tor you to catch me." "You are certainly too wide awake for me now. Will you please explain yourself?" said Doctor Scroggfn, "April before hjlst yoa received a let ter to the, effect tjiat if you would call in Wall street yon would hear of some thing to your advantage." , "I did," replied the doctor. "Web?" , "I called accordingly and did hear something to my advantage." "What?" Top looked very much sur prised 3 and disappointed at the same time. "And did yon write me a similar one last April?" . ' "I am above snch cold-hearted cruel ty, sir," said the doctor, in a tone that marked his real feelings. "The person who could do snch a thing must have something bad about his. character, and I want to have nothing to do with him." "Good morning, doctor," -said Mr. Top. Tho two gentlemen bowed stiffly and parted. Top felt very uncomfortable, lie finally decided to call at the place referred to in his letter. J hmkmg it miu'ht still be an April tHil trick? he ina-le a tew purchases for his store and I gave hi name. "Benjamin Top,' with whom he was reside in the city?" said the person deal calins. D you Top told him the name of the village in which he lived. Did y n never receive a letter from this house?" I did; but as it wa dated the first dav of April. I thougt it was an iApril f,lM,,,se too! trick, and never replied to it" I "But, John, maybe it's the man -on "Far fr. m it." answered the man, ' the "ext "are who owes you that $100 an o'd gentlemau.trwm Ohio came here come to P51 J"" , about that time, and said he had a ' "No 'taint, neither," said John, with brother liviiitr in this StatP ami lio u.o a yawn. in seaich ot him or his children. We I heard that a man named Benjamin Top uven in your village, ana nrop-ied him a lino; but as no answer came we thought the information must be incor rect." "Where is he now?" aked Mr. Top. "Dead. Your sister, Mrs. Jessup, who resides near this city, answered the letter we wrote her in erson. he took him home with her, and a short time after arriving there he died, leav ing her the whole of his property, amounting to 15.000." "He was my uncle," said Top. "Then by not attending to our letter vou are the loser of at least one-half his propel ty." i Top went home a sadder man than l he was when he left it. He knew that j it would be in vain to apeal to his sis 1 ter's iienerosity, for she . was a widow, ' and when poor, wi'h fi ve children de j pendent upon her, he had treated her J with unkindnes- anil neglect, and there ! was little likelihood of" her sharing her good fortune with him. Top was, after all, the real April find; and so great was his disapiNiiutment ami chagrin that never afterward was i he known to send an April fool letter, or to pla- a trick on one of his friends. THE Bl'MMIAT EMMnE. It is calculated that the empire of the Czar extends over one-seventh of the j land surface ot the ch'lie and represents ! about oi e twenty-sixth of its entire sn j jHTticial art-a. It is diticult to arrive at ! the true area of Kussia, on account of ; the o'ns'ac'e that present thcmselves to j the tnak:ng of a general survey of such ; an immense extent of country. The ; nearest estimate, lieeatise it was deemed the most accurate, was made in 1874. ! whereby the area of the empire was set ; down at 8,40-1,707 square miles. It is j divided into two sections, the Eurojieau , and Asiatic, the former having an area f ot about 86 039 -qnare miles, and a pop- illation of G3 658.934- This d.-es not ; include either the kingdom of Poland. the grand duchy ot Finland or the Caucasian provinces. The population ot Russian Poland is 5,705,607 and its ; area 2.216 square miles. Finland has I 1,843.245 inhabitants and an urea of j 6,835 square miles, and the 'aucau 4,bb 1.824 inhabitants and is 7,938 square mi es in area. Russia in Asia ha an estimated population of 6,302 412, but these inhabitants belong chit fly to the Nomadic tribes. The population of Russia is divided into three great groups, Itesides a varie ty of national elements intermixed in the general mas ot the inhabitants. The (ireat Russians, or Veliko Rw, number 35.000,000 and occupy the provinces.- Tho Little Russians, or Malo liuss, numlier alx.nt 11,000.000, and form the bul-i of the (topulaiion in Poltava. Kharkof hen.ig f, Kief, Vol hynia, Podolsk, Kkaterinos'.af and the Laurida. The white Russians, about 3,000.000 in numlier, are found in Mont let", Minsk ; Vitebsk and Grodno. W th these groups ire the Finns, 3,038.000 ; Lithuanians, 2.343 000 ; Jews, 1,631, 000; Tartars, 2,500.0(10; .Slavonians in Poland ami Lithuania, about 7,000,000, and Armenians, 2,000.000. Fr m the above dscrilied population is drawn the regu ar army ot j the Rus sian empire. 'I he armed force of Rus sia is composed of an active and a terri torial army. The first is divided int-j the laud and marine forces. The land force comprises the tegular troojw an nual y recruited throughout! the coun try ; tho regulars inte ded to comp ete the strength of the army to a war foot ing and composed of men oil leave : the irregular troops, such a tlie -fssackJ ana the troops composed: of foreign elements. j The territorial army is fomied by all the n-a e inhabitants of the empire, be tween the ages ot twenty and forty, who are tit tor military service and not al ready enrolled in the active or regular army. By a law of January 13, 1874, the military service is rendered obliga tory on alt Russian subjects, except in some of the most isolated districts of Siberia, Turkestan and the transcaucas ian territory. Exceptions are, however, made in ; iavor of" certain professions, such as clergymen, doctors, etc. The duration of services in European Russia is fixed at fifteen years that is, six yean in the active army and nine in the reserves. ; In Asiatic Russia the term ot service is limited to ten years, seven of which are spent in the active army and three in the reserves. j P, D. Orton was bitten on tho finger by a ratt'esiake a few days ago in VVasoo e ttiuty. He swallowed half a pint ot alcohol, which he soon threw up, together with his dinner which he had just eaten. He then mounted a horse and rode twelve miles at the top ot his speed to DtsChutes Ferry House. By this time his arm and the whole of one side of the body were swollen in a ter rible manner. Some indigo ) steeped in sweet milk -was the only tiling 'that could be obtained. This he drank and vomited asain. He recovered by next day, but it was a narrow escape. HOW BHE'FOOLED HIM. John Sanscript's wife went to bed Saturday night with her mind made no to fooi the old man the next day or die in the attempt. In previous years she had found John impervious to jokes of a!l kinds, and she realized the Augean task before her on the morrow. With her mind full of her self imposed task she went to sleep. At daylight she !awoke a,,d at ,!,ce began to operate. v,ul"" ws w'1" wards her, apparently in a sound sleep. She poked him vigorously in the ribs with her sharp elbow and clawed his shins with her toe-nails, preparatory to startling him with a half whis'pered warning. "John oh, John there's some one ringing the door-bell." "Let 'em ring," was the sleepy re- "Hl"yim dt 'l k'o, and it may be mat -very man' "I guess not, for he's buried ; died last week. Besides, old- woman, your ears deceive you. I took the lel!-kiiob off last week to too! April-tin tiers. Heavens, what a mess nlie made of it to begin with ! But when the old man rol'ed out of bed, yawned and picked up his pants she rammed the sheet into her mouth to plug tip her laughter. "Oh. jiminy, von't he tumble when he puts his feet into them pan's and finds the tegs sewed up!" she said to herself. Judire of her rage when the provok ing brute innocently carried the block aded breeches to the wardrobe and in quired : "Nancy, wl.ere's them choco'ate col ored 'pants I had on last week ?" "Put on the ones you have in your hands, John; what's the matter with them ?" "I burst a button off yesterday, and they need mending." At breakfast she 'ii red out a nice cup of cofi'ee for him and sweetend it with two spoonful' of salt. "Vou needn't give me any coffee," he said ; "keep that yourself." "Why, John, what's the-matter? ''"his is the first time since we were mar ried you refused coffee." " The blamed stuff has made me nerv ous late y ; and as this is the first of the month, I thought I'd break oft and only drink it for supjier. You keep that yourself.'' When he came home to dinner she had prepared him a neatly. directed en ve'ojie with a sheet of blank paper en closed within. He eyed it -uspiciotisly, and, throwing it into the fire, said : "I know that handwriting, lt'sfrom that crazy lunatic who wants me to vote tir him to-morrow. So much tor his letter." In the evening she disguised herse f" i:: one of her husband's old suits and came to the door to Iteg tor charity. "Please give me a nickel to buv some bread." Get out, or I'll give you a nickel with my Itoot." "But, sir, please consider. I am starving." " The devil yon are ! Now I'll let yon 50 aeaiust the suit ot clothes you wear that you are an imposler." "But, sir' "It I were to search you now 1 shouldn't le surprised to find you load ed with wealth. For two cents I won id ce." "For heaven's sae" 'Now, none of your soft soap on me I don't iielieve in tuvgars. Here, you jHilicemau, take this infernal imposler to the station-house." 'Just as the "jieeler" grablied the supposed hesgar by the liack of the neck a shrill voice ye led : 'John ! John ! yi n wouldn't semi your wife to the station house, would you ?" The I wouldn't !" was the cool response "Anybody who lies to me altoiit my door-leH. sews up my trous ers, puts salt in my coffee, writes me at ymotis notes and steals my clothes ought to be sent to the penitentiary for Htc." "But how do yon know" "If you women wouldn't talk nyour sleep you might keep a secret once m a while." Mrs. Sanscrfpt says that hereafter when she attempts an April-fool joke she intends to sit up all tho night prev ious. Cincinnati Enquirer. A Curious fALcrt.ATT.os. It is as serted by scientific writers, says an Irish iiewsjiaiier, that the numlier ot ftersoiiR who have existed on our globe sii-e lie heojiiu.tr of time amounts' to 66.627, 843.237,075,255. These figures when divided by 8,095,000 the number ot square leagues on the glolie leaves 11,320.686.722 square miles of land, which betns divided as before, gives 1,. 414,626,075 persona to each square mile It we red uce thee miles to square rotds, the numlier will be 1,853.174, 600.000, which divided in like numlier, will give 1,373 inhabitants to each square mod, and these lteing reduced to ten feet will give about five persons to each square toot of tena firma. It will thus be preceived that our earth is a vast cemetery. On each nmd of it I, 283 human beings He buried, each rood being scarcely sufficient tor ten graves, with each grave containing 128 persons The whole surface of our globe, there fore has been dug over 128 times to bury its dead. 1 he idol-smasher of the New . York Times thus comminutes another image : "We a' way's. look upou Washington as jteculiarly fortunate man, but rumor tells ns that Mrs. Washington frequent ly became so exasperated because of Iter husband's calm, wooden and persistent smile that she would burst into tears, and after making unwarrantable allu sions to alleged minxes in the Treasury Department, would lock herself up in her room and leave the Father ot his Country; to brood over the gloomy thought that she would ultimately un lock her door and come forth for more conversation," Condensed Lightning, V Garner, who was to have been hang at Rockwell, Texas, on the 15th inst., waa found dead in his cell on that morn ing. His wife who had been permitted to visit him on Wednesday and remain, was also dead. From letters left by them it seems that she carried poison in her mouth i::to the prison and cave a portion to her husband, and it not Jtetng sufficient to kill him, he strangled her and then killed himself by twisti- g some wire around his neck. Senator Cnukling sailed for Europe on the 16th inst. A fresh corps ot 20,000 caval-y is lie ing formed a Constantinople. A court has been constructed lor the trial of Nourie Pasha, fbr the embezzle ment of 60,000 Turkish poui.d, and Kemal Bey, arrested after Midhat Pa shas fall. . 1 he Tribunes London snccia! says a co-respondent in Constantinople writes that it is by no means certain that treach ery has not much to do with the bail performance of the Turkish army in Asia, and those who have been at Erzeroiun and Ardahan can only account tor the insufficient fortification of the 83 places by the theory that the coveted Russian gold is at woik. They assert that many Turki-h field officers have bien heaiily bribed. Things are even worse at Con stantinople, and it is said both Ma hmoud Dahmoud ami Redlif have been bought by .Muscovites, and they will get laige sums d.en a jteace advantage ous to Russia is concluded. The Enterprise savs the land office at Oregon City is full of emigrants near ly every day seeking homes. A man uaned Mine, six mile"; below Salem, was severely hurt on luesdavof last week by a failing tree. "I he spi nous process of three vertabrse was frac tured. The Evangelical camp meeting which commenced near Wheatland, Yamhid county, Oregon, bids fair to tie a com plete success, tieven or eight preachers will lie present. "And alstve a I, Nellie, my love," were the parting words ot a West Adams street woman to her daughter ns the hack to convey the newly-wedded pair to Fort Wayne deftot drew up at the door, "and above all, Nellie, if you shtiii d quarrel for Reginald is but a man, a-id life is full of thorns reniem Iht that your first duly is to yourself as a lady and housekeeper. Order a id nea.ness above all things. Never hit your husband with a rolling-pin or a potato maher. Vou cou d never fir give yourself it the result of such a bh-w were to be the appearance of a hair at tiie tab e in a dish of mashed otatoes ttra piecrust when you had company at tea. The poker will do quite as we!', and is infinitely more lady-like. Good, by. Write every day and d n't forget your o d m.-ther. Boo! Into!" When will the true lolwlity of a hen be understood ? I len are not machines. They are reasoning, thinking beings. It there is one sight more impressive than another it is a hen thinking. It you want tit make a hen fay, get on hei ticst side. Work on her feelings. Thin can be done by studying her atureand learning her tastes, i his accomplished, go to work to show her t at you are her friend, and no grinding, grapiug cch, with no higher ambition than worming eggs out of a her. When a hen sees thai you love her ami respect her, that you are truly her irien.l, that 3-011 arc in ac. tive sympathy ; with her react rings out for the iiudcti liable in nature, she will just turn her toes in, tig'-ten her jaws, and fairly till the euti'e atmosphere with eggs. You can't lay for a hen with fliot! tricks. A hen despises 0011 cea meut. I A shepherd's dmr was recently sold in Paris fbr $4,600. Why a dog, or two dogs, r a dozen dogs, or a thou sand dogs, or a 1 the dogs that are m this bro.td green ea th now, or are like ly to be on this broad, green eaith for all time to come, shou d sell at that price is a mystery -U10 deep fltr tears. But as the animal first named wassimt ly a painting of a shepherd's dog, the man who bought it was not quite as big a had as y.tu very naturally sup posed him to b As a general thing, dtgs especially in a sheep-raising com munity should live only in painting or in poetry or in song, and .for our. part, we a e not particularly anxious that they shall live even there. A simple paragraph in a - newspaper will sometimes arouse in men's minds strong convictions of which they never before even dreamed. Before us, star ing us in the : face with an impudence quite revolting to a sensitive nature, h a paragraph which states that the presi dents of the Equitable and the Mutual Life Insurance Cmiiiies of New York receive salaries of $37,000 and $30,000 a year respectively, and there eau be no doubt th'w brief paragraph will amuse in the mind of many a man the convic tion that in not starting out as the president of an insurance company was one ot the saddest mistakes of hia life. It is all very fine to laugh at a wo man's tantrums when a mouse makes its appearance near her skirts, but a lit. lie mc rrimeiit should be reserved fur the man win plays circus while a Jnne bug is walking up the mside of bin doth, ing with the slow and measured step of a day laborer- . The Milwaukee- Sentinel : says hotel keepers in Wisconsin who tail to provide fire escapes above the second floor, can. not collect board bills from their guests when the latter demur to paying; them. Enterprise. Last January Mr. L; Samuel, publisher of The West Shore issued a magnificent , " holiday number" ot that valuable jVurnal, which contain ed 44 pases. of interesting reading mat ter, and 56 engravings ot scenes in tho Pacific Northwest. The entire edition cost about three thousand dollars, and surpassed anything ever attempted in the line tit enterprising journalism 011 the Pacific Coast. The enthusiast ie re ception given to that iiumlter, and the liberal jiatmnage extended to him since, have induced Mr. S. to is-ue a 'mid summer holiday miitiln-r," and for the iast two months his artists have been busily engaged in pi d icing bea'itul sketches of" scenery altoii the nioiith of the Co iimb'a river Eastern and South, ern i iregon. Northern. Idaho, i'astem Washington. British Columbia m,l the greatest lumlieriiig and coal mining ! regions of Pnget Sound. Beside- thec sketches a host of able writers are furnishing interesting descriptive ar. tices. When ready tor deiiverv, in July, this number will lie a la ting monument to its enterprising publisher, and accomplish a vast amount -f g,l for the Pacific Northwest. As Vr S. furnishes these mammoth editions to all yearly subscribers without extra charge, and as the -subscription' price is only $1 50 er year, we think that every citizen of the Pacific Northwest should not only have this interesting j -urna I in their" own house, but subscribe tor extra copies to send to friends abi. ad. .Address L. Samuel. PoitIand, )n-gon. SORTS. - The Ben Wade crowd in Ohio is threatening to run Ben or Father ''. a'l fitr Governor against the administra tion candidate and so make the election ot a Democrat certain. This would be revenge, indeed. The Whig pt rty has been fo long dead that perhaps the world has forgot, ten that its good old name, framed back in the centuries, was composed by tak- ingthe initial letters of the pious sentence 'We hope in God." Puck declares tha. Stan'ey, the ex plorer, recently sent a private letter in a friend, in which he staied that the most beauttul place he has seen in all his trav e's is Jzjzjsyzjzjzjz, on ihe souther y shore of Lake Nyiyiyiyiyiyi. & "What can you say of the second law of thought?" Student "It cannot both lie and not lie at the s me time. For example, the door over there can't be both shut and open at once." Prof essor "Give another . example." "Well, take the case of another door." Here's another warning. A man down town refused to stay In une after an ear ly supjier and he p his wi'e whitewash the back yard fence, and his black hair turned white in less than a minute. His wife's painful awkwardness wTjb the whitewash brush caused the sudden change. The man wh puts on a spring coat with the most satisfaction is the house painter. An officer who commanded artillery during the ate war informs us of the following simple remedy for co'ic in horses, which he has tried with tierlect success 111 hundreds ot cases; rub the horse well Itetween the fore legs and annnid the girth with spirits of tiirien. tine. Immediate relief fol'ows. Atlan ta Constitution. Bring up your children to joy. (Jive them just as much a they can take without intoxication aiid without reac tion. It you take to much of any 01. e essential you cheat some otlier. Kquir poise ot the various elements of our I. ing is what we want. Likes to get a head of everybody the barljer. Helioiocs Services. Rov. j. jr. UeVore win hold services in the brown M. E- church in this city on Sabbath, morning and evening. 'Sun day School at 2:30 p, at. Prayer meeting each Thursday evening Special Notices. Musical Miss Nettie Piper, teacher ot Vical and Instrumental music, has recent ly located In Albany, and prepared to give lesoii hi the above named branches. Has had several vears exerienee in reaching, and can give the best of references. . FI-A.ITINO, stmaplnc. Cutting; nnd Fit-' ting, Piain Sewing, Hair Weaving, etc. Cutting and fitting Children's Clothing a specialty. Call at the rooms adjoining the REQifeTER office, Albany, Oregon. Mas. Cou,. VakCieve. Major White Is located one door west of Fox Bro.'s. First street, Albany, where he is prepared to do all ' work in bis line, such a repairing watches, clocks, and jew elry. . Also, engraves , door-plates, silver ware, Ac. Give htm a call. ' The Richmond Range is a great wood saver, and as it throws out less heat than any other good range or stove, it is way up tor Summer ue. , TOCOmcaPTIVEH. -The attvertiner.hav. ing been permanently cared of that dread dis ease, Consnn ptton, by a simple remedy, la anx. itm to make known to hl fellow -aatterer the means of oure. To all who desire it, he will send a cony of the prescription used (free of charge), with the directions for preparing and nsing the same-, which they will find a sure cure for Consumption. Asthma, Bronchitln.Ac Partie wishing the preprint ion will please ad dress Key. E. A. WiLSOM, li Ponn St., Wilisms borg, N. V. IMve - - ton3v Errors o To -Hi A centlnman who- snf fered for vean from Ncrvons Debility, Prema ture Decay, anil all theeSeetsof youthful indis cretion will, for thOPakeof sntTertng humanity. end free to all who need it, the recipe and di rection for making the simple remedy by which he was eared. Sirflbrere wishing to profit by the advertiser's experience can do so- by act-, dressing in perfect confidence, Jokm B. Oopkn, 4SCedar SC,.New York. a-tfvtt A CARD. Toan who renffering from the errora-and Indlsuretiona of youth, nervonaweaknesa, early decay, loss of manhood. I will send a recipe that wUl cnre yon, FKEJ& OF (JIIAKGK. This great remedy was discovered by a miastonary In Somh America.-. Send a self-addressed enve lope to the Rev. Joseph T. Ihmah, Motion X,. Btbte Uiruae, AVw York. nv9. ' Rensffcie Artee. Yoa are asked every "day through the columns of your newspapers and by your " Druggist to use something for your Dys jtepsi.i and Liver Complaint tiiatyoti knew'. t nothing about, yout gel ilisconniKed spend- ; luff money with but little suwrss. r New;, t to ffll'M foil anrlu filArtmrr nwwt tttac ' - August Flower will cure you of Dyspepsia and Liver Complaint with all its effects, snch as Sour Stomach. Sick Headache. Habitual CrHtiveuess alliafoti of tiie Heart. Hciirr-buru. VViiN-r In4 Fullness t the iit of tlie Stoninclu Yellow kiit. (toateil Tongue. Coming up of food afu-r eatinjr.. low spirit. fce- we Hk ytdf to go to vour DriiKjrM ami get i samfiTe bottle of Green's Auti-t Flo.vt r fop40 cent and try if. or a regular size tpi75 cents, two ' doses will relieve ynn7 : n44v9 PIMPI.ES. I will mall 'free) 1 he rw-lr for prenarlnir u "tilt" e Vei'p a'ie Balm ha will re. move Tun. Freckles. Plirfle ant II wclic. Ie.ivltt j h skin if-. cearMnd ttean1 II01 : also tits'1 melon for m-o liutlii a Inxnrlnni imitih ot liair on a 'ml I hen I or sm'f " h fin- Ad irmS Bi-n Viin ieif A Co., box ...1-21, Nu. 1 Wm sg' New York. lonllvt FOU SAB.Si! AVERY I ESIR BLK J.nslne-ts n- WnY.i fit on 1 lie corner of Ntn-on I ami WB-li1iii.r:oit reeis, Al'iany: A. so. Kii-dtii;. ISoner an-.! ! ehltiery, tore her wi1 h a lot of nirnl. lire, ad ders, wheelliarrows. liarrowii. Ac . Ac. alt o It sold off cheat for i a"h, Ih coiiHeiinenee of re moval on account of sickness fe minine on the premises of Pfl.N M 4 CO. Alliuny, Jan. 19. 1S77-H17 . 1-a'esl and Mr; TipMnMe In lorniH'ion a'tont the RL.At'K II11-LS. Nor;liern Womln an I .ho great Indian War, will aiRs He lonnd In the Oide.-1 Laive!. -iea:'Kt in tne j. aiel BKST PA- Cm.Vh.NM Mi S f ? (' S PER Wvo- 1.1-: ' ' C s . Ks-aijilshi-l in 1S!7. 1 ni y.rlo uoit'h- $1" a ear WieklN. 3 1110. $1 - 1110 hi . 4; 1 j car. fci. Vj sjnr,e vo" men. If UL.U' ivt. PnVfencr. Chevi cue, Wjo. v9nl w4 koh SLA Kit DED Xeatlj e.xetnlel. C If OREGON SOLID SHJERRXLIj s CULTIVAT0E, AND SEEDEE. All Important Parts taaie of IHf it, anl DuraUa as Iron car Tee. Aj'osta'bi.o ts any rsuired Sstl. vhiid in sxotion. XTsver Clegs or Chcfcoa or. Stafbia or "TrasliT" Crcual. Ari-anyred fortwo.thwor fonr horses abreaart Lifc'li e.si trail Machine in use. Hovers and cms a.i ihe Ki-onnd. Brooilcast Scedui-s will sow all It la 4 f gmlia, wet or dry. EVERY HACHIXE W AB - RAKTED; I ak everj' fnrmer to esamlnr my Seeder aiw -Cnuixtt'nr lielore pnieliMiug an Eastern Va cliinc. J"or lunhcr ran icti.ars address I'nrrisburc. Orccctn. Fchrnary 9, 1877-2Pv JOIJ -PltlXTlN - JOBPRIlTi n A VINO ft" RCHASF I TIIK, fc.Jt. tensive -foh 'Printing FsitabliFhinet.tai of tho State Right Ilemoerat, and tha "Albanv Fegia er," w an prepared to execute in riittt-c.laas style. PROKniT & RI'AMiIi4ir.Vr All kinds of 4 BOOK & JUB POSTERS ) AND PRQEaAf.L:& , Of Every Deacrlfttioa. BILL-HEADS AND STATEKEKTS. Bills ol Fare, i LETTEE HDBLlD BRIEF AKD LEGAL B&JifiZS. Cards of all Kinds and Colors Circulars ' Pamphlets, Blank Checliav . - Receipts, v...v Mortgages-- MANSFIELD &. nONTEITII.