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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (June 1, 1877)
2 mtxv CBI.ISHCD FWBAT, BT 0 LT. AN CLEVE, K tje register buildikq, Corner &-ry end limt Slneets TERMS-IS ADVANCE. One copy, cine year . fj 50 One cony, six mouths . 1 50 j eclubsof twenty, each copy..... 2 00 j.nsile copies Ten cents. SiilwcrMVrs outside of Una countv will be oharfeJ 20 cents extra $S 70 for tbe vear a that is tbe amount or poataice uer annum which we aro required to pay on each paper xuauuu i.y us. Asat for the Reirister. The following named, gentlemen are author ized to receive and receipt lor subscriptions ot nc KKiiitiTF.B in tne localities mentioned r Messrs. Kirk i Ilume Brownsville. Robert Glaa CrawfordsviUe, W. P. Smith Halscy, O. P. Tompkins Ilnrrisburg t. II. Clanghton Lebanon A. WhecW Co Sbedd. Messrs. SmitU & Urasllcld Junction Citv . B. Irvine Beio. Thoa. n. Reynolds Salem VRIDAY ..JUNE 1, 1377 UBEESBJirH UB. Harrisbcrg, Oregon ) May 19lh, 1877. Ed. Kegistku : l'ursiiant to an nounceraent, the citizens met at the Odd Fellows' Hall, Saturday, May 19th 1377, for the purpose ct otgamzing a Greenback Club. The following platform was adopted and requested by the Club to have published in the Albany Register, Albany Democrat, "Weekly Oregon ian, and the Harris buig Nucleus. If you can, we would be very much pleased to have you pub lish it. II. D. ODEX, Chairman pro tem. A. Grimes, Sec. pro tem. PLATFORM. Whereas, The dominant political parties of the country, by a steady and persistent iufringment upon the funda mental principles of our Government, coincident with a corroborating system of class legislation through a series of years, have abolished that sacred right that guarantees equal protection to ev ery citizen and the whole people, dis criminating in favor of the rich and against the poor, exempting capital tax ation and doubly taxing labor to sup port the Government, entailing poveity and oppression upon the productive classes", offering a premium upon fraud and corruption in high p'aces, with a rapid tendei cy to the overturning of Republican institutions in the United States. Therefore be it known that we do organize an Independent Greenback Club at Harrisburg, Linn county, Ore gon it true object being 1st, The consideration of all the ma terial political issues affecting the inter est ot the American people, country, staled and nation, and more especially to discuss the present unjust financial system inaugurated by the Republican party, and now being supported by the Democratic party, that give a danger ous increase of power to the rulers, and is transferring the material wealth of the country into the hands of the favored law at the expense and impoverishment of the many. 2d, To co-operate with and assist all the Independent Greenback Clubs that may be formed in the county, state and nation, to promote the cause and secure tbe acceptance and adoption of the true principles and affect 6uch concert of ac tion, that in all future campaigns the necessary measures may be inaugurated U select suitable persons to till all the official positions of trust and profit, and to do all things whatsoever may be just and honorable in furtherance of the cause that from time to time may seem expedient. Sd, As fundamental to the principles ef the Independent Greenback Party, we favor aud demand the repeal of the Specie Resumption Act, to remove the depression that weighs down the indus tries of the country, we emancipate our selves from the financial distress and general ruin that must follow its en. forcement. And wo call upon all pat- riotio men who feel that labor should be respected and receive its just rewards,- to organize in every County, Congres " eionat District, in every State with the view of electing members to the Legis lature, representatives to Cougress and tbe United States Senate, who will leg. isiate to carry out to legal adoption these principles conforming to tbe wish cs ot the- people and put a stop to the insane, ruinous policy of contraction, 4th, We favor and demand a repeal of the Act authorizing the piesent Na tional Banking System, being s gratoi fey of the Government, based open bonds purchased with depreciated ourrency, and. deposited with a branch of tbe Government as collateral security, au thorizing the National Banker to re ceive double interest interest upon his United Stages bond and interest upon the N ation&L .bank notes at the same .: time." 5th, We favor and demand that the Government issue- directly to the people a currency in, amonnts sufficient to trans act the business of the country, that shall be a legal tender tor all debts and dues public and private that shall, on demand ot the Government, be received in full- payment for all United States bonds at par. We believe this to be the best circulating medium thta can be de vised under the present circumstances. and hold it to be tbe duty ot the Govern ment to furnish it to the people. 6th, We sternly protest against the further conversion by the Government into u mted & tales gold interest bearing bonds, the iiou interest bearing green back currency that is in the hands of the people, operating as a two-fold evil, contracting the currency and expanding the taxation, only to add additional weight to an already overburdened peo ple. 7 tli, We favor aud demand the re peal ot the act demonitizing the silver coin ot the United States, as it enriches the bankers and the money changers and oppresses and robs the laboring classes ot our country. 8th, We favor the unconditional re peal of the law exempting United States bonds from taxation and unequivocally demand that every species ot projierty, every boudy note or other evidence rep esciiliug a tar gible value, shall be taxed so as to bear its just proportion ot the necessary expenses to support and ad minister the Government. 9th, Wo favor free trade and unre stricted commercial intercourse with for eign nations, that we may liberate our country from a devouring army of offi cial parasites that are fastened upon the industrial energies of the laboring peo ple only to enforce the collection ot a tribute of many millions annually at the numerous toll-houses of the United States, without the least recompense in return. The collection of custom-house duties is a relic of rudeness and barbar ism, and wo believe if the voice ot all Christendom could be heard to-day, it would say that the commercial inter change between all peep'e should be as free as the air we breathe. , In view of the fact- that neither the Republican or Democratic parties, with their estabalished policies and avowed political principles offer no insurance ot relief to the embarrassed industries of the country and long suffering people, we here and now avow our declaration of principles, and invite all independent and patriotic men to unite with us irre spective of party, creed or color, to ac complish the object implied in this dec laration. Therefore tor the govern ment, maintainance and perpetuation ot those principles, we hereby adopt this constitution and code of by-laws. II. D. ODEN, Pies. G. A. Grimes, Sec'y. A Brave Woman. Mr OeTsbcrg, a Swedish mechanic ian, claims to have invented, and Cap tain Aiilstrom, a compatriot, to have raatuied for practical use, a dress which will enable the wearer to dash with im punity into the fiercest fire. It is de scribed thns: "It resembles that ot the divers who descend to the Isottom of the sea, is made of 6rong canvas, is double, and so quilted that water can run free. ly between the outside and inside in all directions. The inner dress has a space between it and the body ot trie wearer, to t'e filled with air. At a recent semi- public trial, the inventor was seen to plunge into a large fire, and stand for some moments in the middle ot the flames." pays the - ew 1 one l imcs in an article entitled "The Unpalatable Truth:" The special inquiries conducted in the South in behalf ot this journal, reveal a condition ot things which cannot add to the happiness of the amiable Repnbli. cans who see in the executive pol icy the dawn of tho millennium. Nowhere have our correspondents indicated a break, in the Democratic ranks in any Southern State as a result of the Presi dent's kindly efforts. It is evident that the Times considers the Republican party annihilated in the South : also that though it does not openly condemn the President's policy, it thinks that conciliation is wasted on the Southern Democracy. Ihe Cincinnati Commercial says: "We see nothing in the declarations and actions of the President indicating the least desire to abandon one iota of tbe Republican principles which apply to questions of political expediency or hu. man rights. He has in respect of the Southern States, simply dropped a poli. cy that has ceased to be useful, and was an obstruction to the restoration of peace, and made an experimental venture for something adapted to the times, and likely to work more satisfactorily." The valley of the lower Danube is not a healthy place for the Russians. In the campaign of 1828 they lost 80,- 000 men, mostly from malarial diseases ; in 1829 they lost 60,000, and out of 100,000 the Russian general had left but 10,000 or 12,000. The lower Dan. ube has been a pest house tor their ar. mies. - Mrs, Mary Patlon, widow ot Captain Patton, of theohlclipper ship Neptune's Car, and at one time famous for having navigated her husband's ship from Cape Horn to San Francisco, died at her res idence in Brooklyn. At the time of her death, which was caused by heart dis ease, Mrs. Patton was forty -one years of age. Mrs. Patton's famous voyage 'was made in 1856, when she was a woman ot twenty. She had been roamed three years before, in Boston, to Captain Patton, a young 6kipper of twenty-five, who had been appointed to the com mand of the clipper ship Neptune's Car, launched shortly before for a voyage round the world. After his marriage the Captain hesitated about undertak ing the voyage, it it would compel him to part from his bride. The owners of the vessel therefore, gave Mrs. Patton permission to accompany her husband, and a year and a halt's circumnaviga tion of the globe became her bridal tour. Mrs. Patton was the daughter of a sea-faring man, and had inherited a love for blue water. She soon became pro ficient in the use of nautical instruments, and the log of Neptune's Car for the entire voyage was kept by herj When the shin returned to New York the owners placed her in the then already important California trade, and, laden with a cargo valued at nearly $1,000, 000, she set sail again in August, 1856, for San Francisco. Withiu a few weeks out Captaiu Patton discovered that the first mate was endeavoring to excite the crew to mutiny, and ordered him put in irons. The second and third officers were both ill ot fever, and so the entire management of the ship de volved on the Captain himself He had been ill at starting, aud under the add ed strain was soon confined to his cabin with congestion of the brain. Before tbe ship had passed Faulkland Islands he was unable to appear on deck, and by the time Cape Horn was reached lie was raving mad. In this emergency his wife assumed command of the vessel, and, aided by her previous studies of navigation and the assistance of a will ing crew she brought the Neptune s Car safely into San Francfseo, Novem ber 3d, 1856, having navigated the ship and nursed her husband at one and the same timo. "When they arrived Captain Patton was helpless, being blind and insane. He was a Free Mason, and the mem bers of his craft in San Francisco pro vided for his welfare there, and finally obtained a passage for him to New York. The expenses of his illness had beggared him, and husband and wife arrived in New York utterly destitute. The New York board of uiiderwrit- ers immediately presented 3Irsi Patton with a purse ot 1,000. and a further contribution of $1,500 was made by par ties interested in the cargo of the Nep tune s Car. j lie publication of ner ex ploit secured a host of friends for her, and her husband breathed his last sur rounded by every comfort. After his death Mrs. Patton went to Boston, from which place she returned to New ork. During the last five years she ha resid ed iu Brooklyn with her son. PETTEXGILISS NEWSPAPER VI-JlECTOltY. A very useful and interesting volume of 376 pages has just been issued by the eld and well-known advertising agency firm ot S. M. Pettengill & Co.,. New York, entitled "Pittengill's Newspaper Directory and Advertisers' Hand Book for 1877." The preparation ot the work has involved much careful labor, infor mation having been sought from every city, town, and village where even the mallcst newspaper is published. The leading facts are giveu respect:ng 8,574 seperate publications, designating the political or other distinctive character, the frequency of issue, the names ot pub lishers, etc., and showing how many of each edition (daily, weekly, monthly, etc.,) are published in each State and Territory in the United States and Pro vince in British America. The book is elegantly printed from new type, and, beside its mine of information, it contains portraits of leading New York journal ists, aud illustrations, ot the extensive offices where the publishers transact their business in New York, Philadcl phia, aud Boston. It is sold at the low price of $1.00" per copy, and is certainly cheap at the price to any business man who does advertising, or to any person who is interested in the extent ot the Newspaper business in America. I he history ot tre Shorthorn cow, Duchess 66th, which sold in 1853, at Earle Ducie's sale, in England, to Col Morris, of Fordham, for 700 guineas, or 3,65, is remarkable as showing; the actual value of one good breeding ani mal, from this cow, which was calved in November, 1850, there may be traced in direct descent a number -of animals which have sold for about $500,000. Let it be admitted that as much of this value as may be is depending on fancy or rich breeders, and is not the intrinsic value of the beet and milk produced; yet no one can help admitting that an immense value, estimated iu these alone, has accrued to the world from this cow ; and in proportion to this value may be estimated the profit to a breeder from any superi -r animal he may produce. A line of breeding animals is btonzht into existence which spreads out fan-like, and diverges year by year wider and wider, until we can no longer reach the bounds of the beneficial influence. It is in this that lies the value of any .good animal, aud it is au unfair disparage ment to confine its value to the weight of meat upon its carcass, or its produce in milk and butter. The breeder who produces a superior animal sets in motion an impulse which must in time spread and increase enormously, and far beyond JUSTICE ISI J9ETBOIT. I don't think I ever saw you here before," mused the court, as Samuel G rover walked out.; "No. I cuess not, tor I arrived here from Mexico, only yesterday." Did, eh ? Was Diaz well when you left?" "He seemed to feel all right." "What part of Mexico are you from, Mr. Grover?" "From from from " "Don't be iu a hurry, Mr. Grover. If you have forgotten the name of the town I'd wait till it occurs to you, it wasn't, the town of Poduuk, was it ?" "That's the place that's the place,' replied the prisoner, his anxious look Civmjr way to a smile of rehet." What is that which, the more cut the longer grows? A ditch. A dentist's and dancing. - sign Drawing, music Advice to young men about to settle' aoicn. bettle vp first. If you hear thunder you may be sure you are not struck by lightning. Gossip is the putting of two and two together and making five of them. When does a farmer work a miracle? When he turns Lis horse to grass. Secretary Sherman has issued aa or der forbiddirg all persons to trespass on "Reaching this city from the town ot; our Northern seal pastures except the Podunk, Mexico, after leaving President ; Aiat.ka Commercial Company. Diaz in the best ot health, you tried to - put a man cut of his own corner gro cery, and were arrested while throwing a brick at a hod carrier. 1 nat s aooui it isn't it ?" The prisoner made no reply, and af ter a long silence he suddenly asked : 'Judge wouldn't it be better to own up that I live on Twelfth street and that I got drunk because my wife want ed a divorce ?" I "I knew that all the time, but if yon prefer to hail from Mexico, I can't help myself." j "Well, I'll tell; you the truth, your honor. I'm having heaps of trouble with my wile, and I don't care a cent what becomes of me.' "It's him that's made all the troub le !" screamed a female voice near the door. "Let me get through this crowd and tell the judge what a vagabond, villain, liar aud mean man that feilow is." "Say three months, judge !" whisper ed the prisoner heading for the corrtder. "Three it is I" When the woman reached the bar her husband was seated on the back ot a chair in the corrider, picking his teeth with a sliver, and as he caught his wife's eye he softly said it "Plenty to eat and the tenderest treat ment fur three long mouths to come !" . r . l.i . ..... "xjoh i go to me liiacK Mills xo get rich, it is far easier to orgauize a lite insurance company and pay yourself a salary ot.$3U,UUU a year. A young father says that one baby with a cracker .will make the conch of wearied industry more uucomfortable than a dozen ot Jersey mosquitoes. London is, perhaps more than other city in the world, the city ot pita Is. There are no less than 88 pitals in that city. - any hos. hos- The supply trade of the Russian invad ing army consists of 14,000 wagons and a large number of locomotives aud rail road cars. - Proverbs for Subscribers. "A i . i n s wise son makeui a gisu lamer, mm prompt paying subscriber caosetb aa -. itor to laugh. "Folly is a joy that is aessnus t wisdom " but a delinquent ubscncf causeth suffering in the house of a new. paper maker. A- "All the ways of a man are clean in his own eves." except the way a delin quent subscriber hath ui not paying tot bis newspaper. "Better is a little with righteousness," than a thousand subscribers who fall to pay what they owe. 'A iust weight and balance t the . Lord's," but that which is due on your newspaper is the publisher thereof. lietter is the poor man who waiketn in integrity," and payeth uia subscrip tion, than the rich mau who conticually telleth the "devil' to call again. 'Judgments arc prepared for scorners stripes for the backs of fools," and ever. lasting punishment for him who payeth not for his newspaper. I Hope deterred maketh the hear sick," is a proverb sadly realized by the publisher who sendeth out bills. "A righteous man hatetu lying. hence an editor waxeth wroth again the subscriber who promises to call and settle to-morrow, yet calletb not to set tle, j w - "It biteth like a serpent and stir.geth like an adder,' when the adder get tli rough adding up the amount due front' his subscribers. An aristocratic New Yorker, on being requested by a rich young fellow for per mission to marry "one of his girls," gave this reply : "Certainly. Which would iTnn i . en Via lii.irc mAi1 .V.a w 1 - 9" Sweet thing in compliments Totty (archly): "And so yoiij've never been in love before? Astonishing!" Horace: "Oh, no. It would bave been astonish- ing it l had. since 1 ii.-ive never seen you before !" ! Letter from Alraota to the Walla Wal'a WatcJirnan : From 20 to 40 teams unload at the warehouse here daily. Five hundred tons of produce were shipped this spring, and there aro now 200 tons awaiting shipment. The Almota Hotel is crowded and a good man keeps it. Three firms are selling agricultural implements here. - A grist mill will soon be in operation, also a good ferryboat. Almota is the central po'iit tor all Falonse country, which is tilling up, and is bound to be the mam business point on Snake river. computation. American Agricultur ist. A City in the Trees. The chief village of the Island ot Isabel, i:i the South Pacific beyond tho equator, is built on the snmmit ot a rocky moun tain rising alm st perpendicular to a height of 800 feet. Ascending by a native path from the interior, the trav eler will find the extreme summit a mass of enormous rocks standing up like a castle, among which grow gigan tic trees, m the branches ot which the dwellings are built. The stems of these trees rise perfectly straight aud smooth, without a branch, to a height varying from 50 to 100 feet. Some of the houses are 129 feet above the ground, the average height being sixty. They are approached by a ladder of creepers, and accommodate from ten to fifteen natives each, beside an ample store of stones, whicli are thrown with slings in case of an attack. . At the foot of each tree is another hut, the every day house, as it were, where the daytime is spent when no danger is apprehended. The natives are cannibals ot the most voracious type. From all accounts there appears to be a remarkable migration of Jews to Pal estine. An Eastern traveler writes to the London Times that he found the whole region from Dan to Beersheba crowded with immigrant Je.vs from all parts of the world. M. I). Conway, writing from London, argues that the foundation of a Jewish republic or other liberal government in Palestine, thus in cluding the. restoration ot Jerusalem to the Jews is among th possibilities of the year, and hints that this republio will be under the protection ot England. And he believes the scheme hasoeen considered as one of the possible out comes of a Turkish war. England se curing a route to India through friend ly state under her protection carvec out of districts now part ot the Turkish Empire. But, be the tact as it may, the Jews are flocking to Palestine. It they immigrate under the encourage ment of the British Government there is another si.Ie light thrown on the Eas tern question. If they go uuder the di rection ot tiieir own leaders there is an other fUctor and secret influence to count in figuring the results of the Turkish war. The Inter-Ocean, in view of this movement, asks the question whether George Lfliott s last work, entitled "Daniel Deronda," which broaches this scheme, was wrttten to help tho matter on? . "Are these gratuitous?" asked an old gentleman ot a druggist s assistant, taking a patent medical almiuac from a pile on the counter. "No, them's alma nacs," curtly answered the mtter-ot-fact assistant. Hague's Dramatic Journal supplies the following proverbs : "What can not be cured must be eaten ; fresh. T A bird in hand will fly away unless held tight. There's many a slipon a skat ing rink. Judge not a man by the coat ' that he steals. Boys will be boys they can't be girls. It's an ill wind that . blows your hat off. l ou cant make a silk purse out ot unbleached calico. Dialogue between two. Lowland Scotchmen, a farmer aud a tradesman. The farmer takes up a fabric, and the following questions aud answers ensue : 'Ou?" "Ay,oo." "Ah oo?" "AT, ali oo." "Ahaeoo?" "Ay, ah ae oo." That is: "Wool?" "Yes, wooV? 'All wool ?" " Yes, all wool ?' " Al one wool ?" "Yes, all one wool.5 Vermont will have five centennial an niversaries this year. The declaration of New Connecticut as an independent Stale was made Jan. 16, 1,1777 ; the name of the State was changed to Ver mont June 4 : the battle of Hubbard ton was fought July 7 ; on. the 8th the first Constitution was appointed, and on the 16th ot August the battle ot Beunmgton was fought. Thomas Harper, cf British Columbia, passed through Umatilla county last week with 1,200 head of large steers, four to six years of age, en route to the East. He had them divided into two bands of 600 each, one band, traveling one day ahead of the other. . . . In Jackson county, a few das ago, a pistol in the hands of Daniel Chapman was accidentally discharged, the ball striking R. A. Niel in the forehead, but glancing off, only cutting the skin to tbe 6kull. . A learned and prominet judge in one of our Southern cities, who has a very long nose, Was playing backgammon with ft testy General, who was, however, a warm and intimate friend of tbe judge. Tbe latter suffered from a severe cold in the bead, and had been continually "snuffing" during the game, which, together with his being ahead, irritated the General, and he snapped ont, "Oh, blow your nose !" "Blow it yourself? replied the judge, "it is as near you aa it is me " The General lost the game and treated. A letter reached the dead letter office the other 3ay directed, to "Sinsinnaty, O'Hiough." LctUtesU The Henry rifle, in the hands of the Turks, is what "not away' with the Russians in the recent battles. The Charleston (S. C ) News, speak ing of the late Senator Browulow, says that "in the war of secession he turned traitor to his State." . Senator Sargent, of California, will not attend the extra session of Congress. He is paired with Senator Bogy on all important questions. r - ----- The largest contributor to the reve nue ot England is said to be a brewing turn, which pays about $5,000 for eyery working day iu the ycax. Latino for Him. It having come to the ears ot the United States officials at this point that Big English, the boot black, had a handful ot lead inckles in his possession, the boy was yesterday interviewed on the subject. "es; I've got nineteen bad inckles in my trowsers pocket,'' was his prompt reply. "And what are you doing with them?" "Holding right to 'em. You needn't think von've s t a case against me for you haven't." "How did you get those bad pieces r "Rich man, who shall be nameless black hi boots every morning hands me out a lead nickel thinks he's got a soft thinz on mo. but I'm laving for him!" "How?" "Why, he's got a daughter 'bout my age. 1 11 be thinking ot marryinz in two or three years more, and I'll shoul der a bag of his nickels, walk into the parlor, and gently say: Mister mau I love thy fair daughter, and I demand her in marriage. Behold the proof of yonr vile perfidy, and come up to the rack or go to the judge!" You just keep still and let him shower out his bogus coin. I ain't handsome, but I'm a terror to plan ! ' ; "Got any pocket handkerchiefs?" said a small, soiled boy, with the chief part ot his wardrobe hanging from hisshouJ der by one suspender, and a bundle ot newspapers uuder his arm. The shop keeper 6tared for a moment, but hard times have made even small purchasers desirable, and he answered blandly "Here you are, sonny ; all linen ; fittcei cents." The young merchant cast i scornful look at him, and said: " wonder at yer snowiu' them cotton sieves to a gen'leman. I want euthin in fancy silk, with a chance for my mo nog-ram in the corner. Where's there a fust-class dry goods house 'round here young feller ?" And he got out of the door just in advance ot a shower ot yardsticks and scissors. A lady who had married a smoker was asked if she had no prejudice against tobacco. To which she replied that she had unnergrone the sraokme precess so long that the prejudice had been perfect ly cured. An observant foreigner says we are all making a great mistake with our dogs in allowing them to curl their tails to the left. In the European cities no gentleman ot culture will own a dog that curls his tail that way. An old woman who is crossing the street has a narrow escape from being run over by a hearse "I am not at ail suicrstitious, she says to her rescuer, "but it had seemed to me that it would bo unlucky to be killedby a hearse.' i he oldest old maid in the world is Rebecca Anderson, pt Seneca Falls, aged 112 years. She is so old that it is upwards of twenty-five years since a census-taker has had the pluck to ask her how old she was. The way to avoid suffering from corns is to have bay windows on your boots. A bottle has been picked nn on the beach between Oape Fool wear her and Alsea river containing a letter dated May 14. 1S70. lat. ia 45' south, lone. east which would be near the Larones, well over to ward the fiirther shore of the Piicific ocean r purporting to give an acooimt ot the wreck or the ship Alercedttis, which sailed from Hongkong two weeks previously. The vessel, the letter state, was caucht tr a typhoon, capsized and dismasted. lope or saving the vessel, was abandoned al most immediately ; so a raft was made and all hands took to it, sixteen men all told and one woman. The ship soon went down. The writer savs. "I cast this bottle into the sea hoping perhaps it may t found; sis to our fit, whether we may any of us reach the islands or we may ail perish hy slow starvation h a question." The editor of the S-ilein Record has seen the letter atnl prints it in full. ; It I written on Chinese brown paper and is in losses sion of Oeorire Mavtleld who lives nenr Yaqnina Buy. Possibly it U genuine, but it may be a canard. i The Dark Side of Public Life. Some sad scenes attend the death ot a onsrress. Said one ot the ex-members the other day one who has had an honorab'e though uneventful carreer : "I have now been in public life twelve years. Jy t lie re-amnciing or my ptaie mv District has been ao nsnea. ' i am almost glad to get out of the public ser vice, and vet 1 do not know what to do. They have ca;kd us thieves ; but I have scarcely enough money to support my family m respectability tor six months. 1 was bred a lawyer, and have had my old shing'e for the last ten years creak upon its rusty hinges before my office door in my native town. It is a little town. 1 lie business is small, ana nas greatly changed, and the people have almost forgotten me as a lawyer, and I doubt, it 1 commence hfo there again, it I could earn my salt. 1 he young men have got all the clients, and need and deserve them, because they know the moderu ways of the court. The truth i, it is like beginning life over again, and the prospects are pretty blue. 1 te'l you, young men, it you have any ambi tion tor pub ic lite, don t do it. it is a pretty sorrowful spectacle to see a man three-score years ot'age iu my condition. "Gentlemen of the jury," said a Bal timore lawyer iu the Criminal Court, "do you believe that tnv client was guilty of selling beer to a boy iu a small boltle ?" The boy was a good sized one, and the jury rendered a verdict of "not guilty." Scene in the Grand Jury Foreman "Gentlemen, it is not necessary to ad minister the oath of secrecy to tins wit ness, as he is a member of tbe pTess, aud nobody would believe anything he might divulge, anyhow."Sa An tonio Herald. The following persons are designated as a committee by the Benton couuty meeting co wait on hip vrovernor ami hsk mm l call the legislature together to knock that door out of the constitution' which shut out indebted lies1, viz. : John. Kay, Kq.T chairman; John Burnett, li. S. Stratum, Mart V. Brown aud I. R. Moo res. ,-- Gen. Nesmith has 42 acres ot corn this year. Ilia object is two loin : to fatten his "hogs a i itl prepare his ground ibr wheat next year, and he considers a good cultiva tion in corn equal to summer tallow. v The Rev. Mr, journalism last Talmage . preached ou Sunday. The part where he imitated a reporter climbing np a fireplace and hiding in the chimney, in oruer to overnear a conversation, is said to have been verv impressive. Norwich Dulletin. The tool-killer is a chronic neglecter of his business.' Everybidy will be the more convinced of this when they read that Secretary Carl Shurz, a gentleman and a widower ot less that a vear's sorrowing, is continually distressed with a deluge of love-letters, dai'y received from enterprising maids and widows wh would like to cap the achievement of Mrs. Christia::cy, by capturing a ma ture Secretary i and setting np another "I'abinet" mansion in Washington. These lovely (?) aspirants dwell ou the musical gifts ot the beeretary as indicat ing a sympathetic heart, p'ofess bound less yearning after the infinitude of soul affinity. Two or three have even gone so far as to quote whole stanzas from Heine's "Buch der Lieder " and trom the incommunicable chantings of Geibel. Every last lemale of them should be soused in the iutinitude of a water-butt. Let Mr. Shurz publish their names. A Vermont man borrowed $3,000 of a widow and erected therewith a hand some monument sacred to his Own mem ory. Then he failed and paid the wid- ov ten per cent. He ought to have had occasion to use that monument shortly after. j It was recently admitted in the Brit ish House ot Commons that a considera ble proportion of the Indian army was com posed ot Mohammedans. "What can you say , ot the second law of thought? Student It "can not both be and not be at the same time. For example, the door over there can't be both shut and open at the once." Professor "Give another example." "Well, take the case ot another door." II. II. Snow, a resident of Yamhill Ibr more tlian twenty-live year,i has pone to Seattle. He tikes his family and will re side there. ; The Methodists on the Kock Creek cir cuit. Rev. C. Alileron preacher In charge, will hold a csiinpmeethig near Needy Post office, beginning June 14th. r The House of Commons recently di vided upon the question whether the maximum number of lashes in British navy should be 50 or 25, and by a ma jority of 22 in one case, and of 32 in another, the maximum was fixed at 50 lashes. Mr. Gladstone has received warning from his physic an that he must moder ate his superabundant energy. He has been told, that he- must not continue to work at the same high pressure as he subjected himself to daring the last two orthree years. Don'i put me on the river bank, among tho fragrant flowers ; nor where the grass is watered by the early Sum mer showers. But put me in the kitch en range, and open wide the damper, and then my .vaprous remains can up the chimney scamper. What's broke loose, Charley t Where are vou going in 6"ch a hurry? "im going to the store.' "Trade must be active with yoo. "It's not the trade that baa called me out." . .. w "It's not a woman, is it t "No ; ot course not. But 111 explain the thing to yon, to keep down your in, ternal suspicions. There are three part ners in our store, and we have ouly two chair. The last man that eonaesin the morning has to stand op all day. It is very important tor me to get to the store earlv this morning. Good-day. Kkliciious Sekviciis. Rev. J. r. DeVore wnt bold BPrvices in the brown M. E. ennren In this ,. city on SublMUn, morning and evening-. Son day School at 2:30 P. 3t- Frayor meeting eacht Thursday evening. V ,"- Special Koticei. . Mi sical. Miss Nettie PIpcK teacher of Vocal and Instrumental music, has recent ly located in Albany, and prepared to give lessons in the above named branches. Has had several years experience- in teaching, aud can give the best of references 4 FLAITIXU, stamping, OnUtaqr ud Fit ting, Plain Sewing, Ilair Weaving, etc. Catting and fitting Children's Clothing apeeftalty. Call at the rooms adjoining the Rkqistek offlce Albany, Oregon. Mas. CoLI. VasClete. Ma Jon White Is located one door west r Vn-c- T!r-r First street. Albanr. mhor. he is prepared td do all work In " his Hno, such as repairing watches, clocks, and Jew elry. Also, engraves door-plates, silver ware, &c. Give him a call. - .' ' m The Richmond Range la a great , wood saver, and aa It throws out less heat than any otlier good range or stove. It la way up for Summer use. TO C-XSTMITITE8.The adTertimnVhaW Ing been permanently cured of that dread dis ease, Consun ptlon, by a simple remedy, la anx ious to make known to his follow anSei-era tho means of cure. To all who desire It, he Will send a copy of the prescription used (free of charge), with the directions for preparing and noinjr the same, which they will And mi, enre for Consumption. Asthma, Bronchi t dress Rev. E. A. Wilson, m Venn feu, W illiama burg,l.Y, ilsv8) tonav PIJIPIBI.-IWU1 mall (free) the recipe for. preiMrtn a simple V egeiable Balm that will re-. ; move Tan, Freckles, Pimpled and Blotches? leaving tbe skm soft, clear and beautiful ; instructions for producing a luxuriant growth ot liaison a bald beadorsmeotb face. Addmx Ben. Vandelf & Co., box 5181, Ko. TwooSter!! J.ew York. .... . ..?.,... , on43v , 5if9r r Rtmtlemsn who Buf fo rod for years from Nervous Debility, Prema ture Decay , and all I heeffects of youi fiful inrtts-. ore! ion will, for the sake of sufferlngnutnanttv. send free to all who need U, ta recipe end Au. root ion for making tbe simple pemwly bv wbk-t be was cored. fenirer wishing to profit by the advertiser's experience can do so by ad dressing perfect confideacis, Jojun B. Oodtcn. 3 Cottar St., Jiew York. -uiava A CAItU. To all who arc sofTering n-orn. the errors and) Indiscretions or yonth, nervous weakness, enn-w decay, loss of manhood. Ac, I wiil f- 'vl artx--i ' that wlU cure yoo, FBEK OF CHAROK. TUi. great remedy was discovered by a missionary In feouth America. Send a self-addressed en vn, fn? the Rkv. Joseph T. I.nmak, tjiuUvn V. . JbiWc llinusc,. Sew Vbr.-iitv9v