The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, May 28, 1875, Image 6

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    SPKlfelNQ 8CHOOU.
' ';'X. . AT HUWASRJL. - . .
HpeJaers from the diotioesry7
jv-iirs from the new edition
jcth uuUri!&ed pioiorial;
-om the pages of old " Wooater,"
on the modern high school speller,
sTwaaa a books that deal ia language,
Flrone all technical oaacliunona,
Tftaall absolute confnsiocMT .
.Vam yen beard them spell together.
m ranks like fighting aoldiera,
5"e "We by side with preacHera.
FapOa aide by side xrith teecheraT
aSawe you seen the mighty umpire,
WtUj his open dictionmriea,
"Watti hie glasses on hia optica,
Aadhia ears' erect for errors?
'Sawa you seen the brave oniee falling.
By Ute fault of the miscalling,
Mfcard them eall the word ' insiUoo " ;
Aathey would 'pronounce 44 abciaion T,"
Havaa you seen the ranks of heroes.
Not to call them noble -martyrs,
standing up and spelling " fuchsia, -
A'KJ-TIWW"""'.'' --And
' oerebro meningitis,''
saw foe tide" and "aylphid,"
MToaghiogheny',and 'minoUi7
And a host of other pussier t
. Stave) won seen the burning blushes'
Dst -the cheeks of vanqufltaAl spellers T
Have you noticed how the ladies
Hate to look toward the tellers T
- Oh, the shame of dropping is out.
And the grief of putting e's in,
"When the thing is just aa easy
Aa eonghing or sneezing !
. '
Ofc. the red hot indignation
4n defeat, so near to glory !
Oh. the blasted English language.
With its always Mpgg story ;
, the prizes that we dont get
When we could have spelled each word
(Kxet-pt the one we didnt spell)
Of all that we had heard t
' . Jiichmond Independent.
PETEK RAYMONDS SOS.
Tweraty years ago Peter. Raymond
owned a hard, stony farm eighteen miles
from Hartford. One September evening
"out 9 o clock, as lie returned home
from a neighbor's, lie suddenly recolleet-
a was ne aaa leit ins bridle hanging on
, - bai-post by his sheep barn when he
rraea his old wivfe mare m the pastr.
teat afternoon. He sprang over thewall
-and "track across lute, hoping to secure
; V ,
xniMio jsuy gieeuj-mswea DOTine
ehould make it forever useless for bridle
gwrrpoaes. As he drew near the barn he
tthonght he heard voices inside. What
"Any one should be there for he could not
conjecture. He stepped as, lightly as he
ouM on the unmoved rowen and slipped
in behind the big door, which was stand-
.mg ajar, and listened.
Philip, his eldest son, was there, and
Taunton .Dexter, a son of the man at
whose house he had been to call. The
Javda were about of an age both nearly
"fifteen. Philip was talking when his f ath
er went np to the barn, but he finished
-what he was saying just, as Mr. Raymond
got into position to catch the words, and
:yoring Dexter commenced to reply. He
aid: :
"Well, Phil, my father is just as in
onfdderate as your father is. I don't
tbink he remembers he ever was a boy.
"There is scarcely a day in the year that
Tie does not ride out lie rides more'n he
sed to before he was selectman, and
-joo may be : sure tiuf he always has
"warathing on hand to be done, just as
yonr father lea. Soon as the frost is
-ont of the ground in the spring, he tells
-ana before he rides off that I may pick rap
ts&rmrm or spread manure til it is time to
milk and fodder; a little later in the
-aeasoa be tells me to hoe corn or pota
toes, or weed the garden till it is time to
-get up the cows; and if he is at home
--when I take the pans to go out and milk,
he always tells me t be sure and strip the
-w dean, just as though he thought I
should be lazy and dishonest enough to
leave half the milk in their bags if he did
not tell me so; and he would be just as
.likely to tell me that before a dozen visit-oa-s
as any makes a fellow feel mighty
wnoomfortable, jpon know. In winter I;
liave to chop wood most of the time that
lam not at school and I don't think
nay father ever feels quite satisfied if I
oon i cnep quite as much, and hoe as
imnch, and plow as much as a full-grown
man could do in the same time. I did
. . not know -till the other day how it was
van von, fnu. x don't wonder that
. jw" jMaeiw its worn out; ana jl assure
yr" that I am quite as tired of living in
this way as you are.' s -
"I hesitated a good while, Clint," Phil
replied, " before I decided to speak to
yaa aboat it ; but I made up my mind in
.issying time that it was the last summer
'that I should stay at home and help hay
it and fare as I did then. . Father is
always ready to find fault he generally
Mays when he gets home, I don't think
you've hurt yourself working to-day,
Philip 1 And sometimes he asks me if
siuy back doesn't aehe, I've chopped so
KOBXadhaM' hoed so much ; and no matter'
i if 1 work as hard as I can from sunrise
SI snndewn, I never heard anything
.more encouraging never get one word
trf Tcaoae. I feel s rry to clear out on
'niothcr's account. I love her, for I be
lieve aae loves me ; but if father loves
me he never shows it never speaks a
"tender or loving word to me. My mind
as lA2yma.de up, Clint. I am going to
ran away ; and I want to get off to-night.
Never mind about your clothes I've got
ahxrte and stockings and handkerchiefs
xeBough put up, and I'll divide with you
till we ctta earn more. : Iiast week I
-honght it oVer, and I thought it would.
-groove motner so x pretty mucn decided
to give it up ; but I got soprovoked the .
lay that father went to Hartford I de
termined I would go anyway. You see,
new I've lived ever since I was born,
within eighteen miles of Hartford, but
Aevor was there, nor in any other city. I
aked father if I might go with himl last
-June, when he was going, and he said
. that I couldn't go very well then, but I
-ahcwall go with him the first time that he
-went after haying. Well, when he spoke
of gong. last week, I asked him if he
was going to take me - along, and he ,
-amawered pretty crabbedly, 'No, sir;
pretty time for you to think of going,
-when the hired man is gone I' I told him
. -that T wnnld cat.
- - j wius nuu uu use
dMH-ea, and that you would be as faith
ful in doing them as I would be ; but he
-woaldn't hear a word about it., I didn't
feel light hearted after he was gone, but
I tried to brave it out the best I could ;
Assd I worked hard all day. That after
jkkhs was a dark, cloudy afternoon ; and
X got np the cows atd milked them
litHe, earlier than I supposed that
X did ; but I don't think the sun
-was five minutes high , when I got the
rfwrea done. .1 took he newspaper and
eat dawn in the door, so as to be on hand
to fake care of the horse when father
aae; and I hadn't tcaal a quarter of a
tmumtsn, wnen ne arove np. wen, as
ina as I live and breathe after his
-promising me that I should go to Hart
jord with him the first time that he went
-allar haying and then breaking his word,
.leaving sae to feel disappointed and to
work EardaH day, the first thing he said
fc tub when he drove up 'was 'What
.AK you sitting there a reading; for?
why aren't you doing your chores f Jt
isiSisd, I tsll yon, but . I: replied : as
-calefy as X could that the chores were all
tkmet, and he said i ' Oh, oh, that is it, is
1 f Ton do the chores the middle of the
mSmz&amt when I am gone, and then sit
&xwn said read, do you V It was so con
1 2wal3d cutting, if he had stuck a knife
zae he wouldn't have hurt me any
snpBEsa. X vowed then that X would s?e
Hartford on my birthday, and I shall be
mucn miatftiten u l am not there to-mor
row mormng; and if my father sees me
again for one year hell see more'n I
think he wilL I will be here at the barn
at just midnight. My bundle of clothes
is here now in the oat bin. Don't fail
to be on time, Glint. We must get. to
Hartford by sunrise. I want to iret a
little glimpse of the city before the
steamboat goes out. I don't know what
tne tare is to New York. I doubt if we
have money enough to take us there. If
we haven't we can stop at some of the
landing places on the way." .
. What a variety of feelings Peter Ray-
mnnl llftil ITl 4-.b.A rlffkAVl minntaa It A aKArl
. I I p VWM in iimvco mww
Dehind the barn door and listened. At
first he was so utterly surprised he could
hardly believe his own ears; but as he
took it all in as he comprehended what
his son contemplated doing, he was in
high djadgeoa; he unconsciously closed
his teeth very firmly and clenched his
right fist tightly. He could hardly re
frain from pouncing upon his son then
and there and giving him a sound drub
bing, but he decided that it would be
wise to hear the boys' talk ont, and learn
all their plans, and then confront them.
But as Phlip talked on, Raymond's teeth
were less firmly closed, and when Philip
said in a half sad tone, " I doubt if my
father loves me at all," a dozen differ
ent feelings strove for the mastery.
"Don't love him?" he repeated to
himself, "the ungrateful rascal ! Haven't
I been scrubbing along savingly as pos
sible, and privately putting little sums
into the savings bank so that I could
send him away in a year or two, and give
him a better chance for an education
than I ever had f Haven't I of ten said
to my friends that he was one of the
most faithful, trusty boys in the world,
and that I could leave home at any
time, day or night, and never worry
about things as long as he was there
to take care? If he does doubt my
love, up to tbis time I have loved him
and have been proud of him. , I haven't
been very demonstrative about it, to
be sure. I never thought it wise to pet
and praise children. Perhaps I have
been a little too unsocial and straight
laced with him. Maybe I'd better not
let them know that I ve heard this talk
about their running away; but I shall, of
course, do something to prevent then
going. IH go up to the house and think
over what course to take."
And Peter Raymond crept away from
the barn as though he were a sneak-thief,
and then hurried home as fast as he
could, not once thinking of his bridle.
He had hardly got seated in his usual
place in the big arm-chair before Philip
came in. Philip expected his father
would say, gruffly: "It is high time
that you were in bed," And so he was
taken by surprise when his father said,
gently:
"Won't you hand me the almanac
before you sit down, Philip ?"
Philip's mother raised her eyes from
her sewing, and glanced at her husband
as though she wondered what had called
forth such unusual gentleness. Ray
mond opened the almanac at September,
and, after glancing down the page, he
turned to his wife and asked: "Is to
day the third or fourth Tuesday of the
month!"
"The fourth," she replied. "To
morrow is the last day of the month."
"Are you quite sure about it?" he
queried. "If you are correct, I am a
week behindhand in my reckoning. I've
had so many things crowded upon me
lately, I've hardly known which way to
turn first. I promised Mr. Skidmore
that I would take that two-year-old
hjifer away that I bought of him before
the first of October. She must be got
home to-morrow."
Philip got up to go to becL 1 Eavrtinml
said: -, .
"Don't hurry, Philip; I'm thinking
how to get that heifer home. I believe I
will take you down there early in the
morning, and leave you to drive her up.
It is nine miles there, but you can come
back leisurely and feed alongside the road.
You'd like it as well as to stay at home
and work, wouldn't you Philip ?"
"Yes, sir."
Philip replied in an absent-minded way.
He was in a quandary. Perhaps he had
better stay at home a little longer and
see if things didn't seem more agreeable
to him. Maybe he had judged his father
a little too harshly Clinton Dexter could
come to the barn at midnight to meet
him, and
- Philip was arrested in his cogitations
by his father saying: '
" I have so many cares, so many things
to think of, that I can hardly keep track
ef my children's ages. I believe, Philip,
your birthday comes the thirtieth of Sep
tember, doesn't it ?"
, "Yes, sir."
"And so you will be fifteen years old
to-morrow. Well, well, it does beat all
how time flies. Fifteen years I It
doesn't seem more than half that time
since you were a baby, Let me see. I
believe I promised to let you go to Hart
ford this fall, didn't I f We shall be
half way there when we get to Skid
m ore's, and, seeing to-morrow is your
birthday, perhaps we had better keep on.
I don't know as we have any better time
to leave. We can take an early start
have breakfast at half -past five, and get
off by six,, and by nine, if we have good
luck, we shall be there. We can stay
there till three o'clock in the afternoon,
and you wouldn't be late home. It will
be good light to-morrow evening there
is a good moon now. Well, you may as
well go to bed and get all the sleep you
can. I shall call you at four o'clock.
Philip started the second time to go,
but just as he got his hand on the latch
his father said:
" Wait a minute, Philip. If you hatd
some one to keep you company from
Skidmore's and help you to drive the
heifer, I wouldn't mind staying till nearly
sight before we left the city. Perhaps
Clinton Dexter would be willing to walk
up from there with yon and help drive
her, if he could go with ns to Hartford and
spend the day. If you think. that he
would, and you would like to have him
go, vou may run over to Mr. Dexter'a
.And tell him that if it is convenient for
him to spare Clinton I would like to have
him go to Hartford with ns to-morrow,
and walk home from Skidmore's with
you in the evening. ; And be sure and
tell Clinton, if h& father consents to his
going, that we will call for him as early
as six o'clock," .
Philip said : "Yes, sir," and took up
his hat and went into the hall ; but be
fore he got to the outside door his father
called out : :;
' , "One thing more, Philip.' I left my
bridle, hanging on a bar-post down by
the sheep barn this afternoon. If you'll
come back across lots and bring it up,
it'll save going for it in the morning. I
intended getting it myself when I came
home from Mr. Dexter'a, but it slipped
my mind,"
" Lucky thing it did," Philip said to
himself as he stepped out of the door,
" If he had come round that way home
I guess he wouldn't be in quite so gentle
a mood to-night. He would have given
jine Hail Columbia ' right and left ; aud
tjunt would nave tared worse tnan 1, for
when his father's back is up he's as
savage as a tiger. Strange what has
come over fattier to-night I ; I noticed
that mother was surprised to see hjpn
so much more social and gentle than
common." . (. ;
On his way over to Mr. Dexter's,
Philip had"aa great a variety of feelings
and as great a conflict with them as his
father had while standing behind the
barn door ; but before he got there the
summing up was that he was an ungrate
ful scamp, and that his father was all
right ; only he had so many cares and
anxieties that it sometimes made him a
little stern and crabbed.
Mr. Dexter was always ready to oblige
his neighbor Raymond, and he cheer
fully gave his consent to Clinton's going
Clinton did not knw what to make
of this sudden turn of affairs. As he
went with Philip to the door, he whis
pered :
"What's up, Phil? what has hap
pened ? has your father found out any
thing!" J
" Not a thing not a thing," Philip
hurriedlv w1uhtmiWI hnAir .j K
suppose, Clint, he'd be taking us to
Hartford, to-morrow, if he had. It's
all right, but it's the strangest thing
that ever happened 111 teU you all
about it to-morrow-r-can't stay long
enough now." -., f
" Mr. Raymond took up a newspaper
and bowed his head over it as soon as his
son started for Mr. Dexter's; but if his
wife had observed him closely she would
have seen that he did but very little
reading, and that there was a troubled
expression on his countenance. He did
not raise his eyes from the paper when
he heard returning footsteps, but he list
ened very intently, and he knew that
Philip stole softly and hurriedly to the
back end of the hall and opened the
chamber door before he came over to the
sitting room. A look of relief came into
his face and he straightened up as if a
great burden had been lifted from him.
He had no doubt but that the bundle of
clothing had been brought up from the
oat-bin and left on the chamber stairs till
Philip should go to bed. That is what
he hoped his boy would do when he
asked him to come around by the barn
and get the halter. He had no further
fear that he would attempt to give him
the slip that night.
Mr. Raymond and Philip rode up to
Mr. Dexter's door for Clinton, the next
morning, just as the sun was peeping
over the hills.' It was as delightful a
September morning as they could desire.
As soon as they were on the road, Mr.
Raymond said:
" Now, boys, you must keep your eyes
open see all there is to be seen, and get
all the enjoyment out of going that you
can. We don't have holidays very often,
and we must make the most of them.
Philip and I have worked pretty hard
lately, .and I guess, Clinton, that you
have. I believe a play-day wfll dons
all good. I made up my mind this
morning, to leave all my care3 and busi
ness behind me for once; so you need
have no fears if you talk to each other
all you please, and ask me as many ques
tions as you wish, that it will disturb
me at alL" ' . i
Mr. Raymond spared no pains to have
the boys enjoy their first trip to Hart
ford. He called their attention to every
thing that he thought would interest
them on the way. He told them who
owned such and such a farm when he was
hoy what the land was worth an acre
then, and what was its market value now ;
who built this house and that ; and he
pointed out where General- was born,
and where Hon. lived till he went to
college. He was no less painstaking
when they got to the city. He took them
past Trinity College, the State House,
the High School ; he pointed out the
different churches, and told them who
preached in them ; he went with them to
the Athenaeum and spent an hour with
them there.
Sometimes Philip looked at his father
in dumb bewilderment and wondered if
they were really in Hartford or if it were
all a dream., How social and interesting
his father was ! He felt as if he never
was acquainted with him before. What a
delightful time he . would have had
if he had ; not been planing to do so
mean a thing. If his father knew it, how
he would despise him ; he looked at him
so earnestly, sometimes he was afraid
that he saw guilt tinge his countenance.
If he could only get up the courage he
would confess the whole to his father and
implore his forgiveness.
Thus the day wore away, and Philip
was not sorry when it was time to start
for home. After Mr. Raymond left the
lads to follow on with thn
talked over the event of the past twenty-
xxtut. uuura wgetner, and tuey were both
very decidedly of the opinion that they
had had a very narrow and providential
escape from committing a very disgrace
ful act ; and they , both agreed,Tafter a
little discussion m that.
would never divulge to a human being
mej mm ever dreamed of running
away.
It was about half -past nine when Philip
drove the heifer into his father's barn
yard. After he had his supper his father
asked him to step out to the shed and
get the package that was under the wagon
seatt When he brought it Mr. Raymond
opened it and took from it "Webster's
Unabridged Dictionary," , and sat down
to hia desk and wrote on a fly leaf
" Presented to Philip C Raymond, on
his fifteenth birthday, by his affectionate
father, Peter Raymond." And then,
without closing the book, he passed it to
Philip. ; ..
Philip could bear no mdre. t The tears
that had come to his eyes twenty times
during the day, and as many times had
been forced back, now overflowed his
eyelids and ran down his cheeks. He
stammered : '''J, v -1 ' -
4 j"You are too kind to me, father. I
do not deserve this."" f
" Don't deserve it, Philip I" exclaimed
Mr. Raymond, with much apparent sur
prise. " I think you'd "better .leave that
to my judgment, i iBhorddHke to know
what boy does deserve kindness from his
father, if you don't 1 If I had a dozen
sons I could ' not ask them to be more
faithful and industrious than, you have
been. There, there ! don't i shed any
tears over it you're tired better go to
bed as soon as you can, so as to feel fresh
in the morning. If it's a good day to
morrow we must secure that rowen."
Thank you, father, "Philip said, with
a quivering voice, and went immediately
np stairs. If he had been a little less
overcome himself he would have noticed
that his father's voice was slightly shaky,
and if he had looked back as he passed
out of the door he would have seen his
father brush a tear or two from his own
eyes. - ' - - - .;nSv
Henceforth there was no lack of con
fidence, sympathy and affection between
Mr. Raymond and Philip ; and by reason
of a private interview that Mr. Raymond
had with Clinton Dexter's father, Clin
ton s home life was much more agreeable
than heretofore. - 'i ; .
-Philip has always looked back to his
fifteenth birthday as a remarkable epoch
in his life ; and he never ceased until
his aged father recently visited him and
heard him speak rather harshly to his
own little son to marvel this wonderful
change that came over his father, him
self, or both, at that time: ?' Then his
father took him aside and told him the
whole 'story, and cautioned him against
growing into the habit of speaking that
way to his children.
"Always remember, Philip," he said,
"that crustiness and harshness are no
more agreeable to a child's feelings than
they are to a grown person's ; and that
they are more likely to . lead any one out
of the right path than into it ; and that
they never will forget love."
Cariosities ol Wooing.
In olden times it was the fashion for a
suitor to go down on his knees to a lady
when he asked her to become his wife,
which, with very stout gentlemen, was
an uncomfortable proceeding. The way
in which Daniel Webster proposed to
Miss Fletcher was more modern, being
at the same time neat and poetic Like
many other lovers, he was caught hold
ing a skein of thread or wool which the
lady had been unravelling. ".Grace,"
said he, "we have been untying knots.
Let us see if we cannot tie one which
will not untie in a lifetime." With a
rieee of tape he fashioned half a true
over's kno$; Miss Fletcher perfected it,
and a kiss put the seal to the symbolical
bargain. Most men when they " pop"
by writing are more straightforward and
matter-of-fact Richard Steele wrote to
the lady of his heart: "Dear Mrs.
Scurlock (there were no misses in those
days), I am tired of calling you by that
name, therefore say a day when you will
take that of madam. Your devoted hum
ble servant, Richard Steele." She fixed
the day, accordingly, and Steeled her
name instead of her heart to the suitor.
The celebrated preacher, WHitefield,
proposed marriage to a young lady in a
very cool manner, as though Whitefleld
meant a field of ice. He addressed a
letter to her parents without consulting
the maiden, in which he said they need
not be at all afraid of offending him by
a refusal, as he thanked God he was
quite free from the passion called love.
Of course the lady did not conclude that
this field, however white, was the field
for her. The well-known brothers,
Jacob and William Grimm, were exceed
ingly attached to each other, and had no
desire to be married. But it was thought
proper by their friends that ne of them
should become a husband, and Jacob
being the elder, it was agreed that he
should be the one to enter the bonds of
matrimony. A suitable lady was found,
but Jacob declined to do the courting,
requesting William to act a3 his agent.
William consented, but soen found he
was in love, and wanted the lady for
himself. He could not think, however,
of depriving his brother of such a
treasure, and knew not how to act. An
aunt kindly relieved him in his difficulty
by telling Jacob, who willingly resigned
the damsel to his brother, and went out
of the way until she had been made Mrs.
William Grimm. A Scotch beadle was
the one who popped the question in the
grimmest manner. He took his sweet
heart into the graveyard, and, showing
her a dark corner, said, " Mary, my folks
lie there. Would you like to" lie there,
Mary ?" Mary was a sensible lassie,
and expressing her willingness to obtain
the right to be buried near the beadle's
relations by uniting herself to him in
wedlock. A similar unromantic view of
the subject was taken by another Scotch
maiden. Upon her lover remarking, " I
think ITl marry thee, Jean," she re
plied, "Man Jock, I would be muckle
obleeged to ye if ye would." Ex
change. '
The Krook Nek Squash.
One ov the hansumest and most grace
full herbs in the whole garden when it iz
yung and innosent, and one of the most
awkward and painfull to admire when . it
gets anshient, is the krook nek squash.
They, are a dehkate rose color when
they begin life, with a skin az soft and
fair az a 3 button kid gluv on the hand
ov a fair lady, but when they hay got
thru with this life, and are Teddy to be
turned cut to die, they are az yello az
skotch snuff, and az full ov ugly warts az
an antidilnvian toad.
The krook nek ain't good for diet when
it gets ripe it ain't any better than a
seed cowcumber.
When they get ripe yu kan hang them
up in the woodhoua chamber, and they
will keep thare without spilling az long
az a quart bottle.
They are haff full ov seeds at maturity,
and will rattle like shot in a blown up
bladder.
They hav a nek on them az long az a
goose, with a krook in it that even death
kan't straighten out.
To sustain life with, the krook nek
stands about haff way between biled
pumpkin and masht turnip, and kan be
sedused into a pi that iz hard to be sassy
to. .
The squash is very whry nekl, but kon
sidering that it is not endowed with
reazon, behaves itself on all ockashuns
better than man duz.
I luv all the vegetables, and all the
animals, and all the inanimate things
better than I do the humans, bekause
thare iz less frauds and ded beats aiming
them. - .
It iz true, if yu fool around the hornet
or the red-pepper, yu may git bit, and if
yu are kareless with onion juice yu may
hav to smart for it, and nettles will sting
if yu squeeze them, but they won't enny
ov them lie in wait for yu, and follow yu
all around the country, and even chase yu
into a meeting house-to git a good krack
at yu. ;
; The krook nek squash iz a good job
and haz my ' blessing and shall hav mi
sympathys enny time it will ask for them.
Joah Billings.
Climate Changed by Man.
' It is well known that many parts of
Greece, and Palestine, and Asia Minor,
whish were once luxuriant in fertility,
are now barren. The change is supposed
to be owing to the loss of forests, which
has lessened the amount of rain, and
dried up the fountains and streams. The'
frequent droughts in our country are
probably owing to the same cause.
In Egypt a change for the better is
going on, as Bayard Taylor states in his
" Letters," just published. The opening
of canals, like the Suez CanaL the exten
sion of railroads and the r planting of
trees, have produced a double change of
climate. Rains have become more fre
quent. Formerly, in Cairo there were
only four or five rainy days a year ; now
the average number is twenty-one. In
the Dita there. ,,was formerly about eight;
now they average forty. , This increase
of rain has led to the cultivation of large
areas of land formerly barren ; and the
gains amount to twenty or thirty per
cent., adding largely to productive
wealth. Another change, not so agree
able, is in temperature. ' The rains bring
cooler weather, and there are many days
when fires are almost a necessity, which
were formerly unknown.
s Thtbtt-onx years ago the venerable
Eli Crozder of Delaware vowed not to
buy a new hat until Mr. Clay should be
elected to the Presidency ; and the tile
which now surmounts his venerable brow
is not lovely to look upon. , y
Pxbfrct cure - f or a clergyman A
cure of souls. .
The Gold-Fisu Trick.
Several of the mamcians who perform
in public do what they call "the gold-
vim., j.ne juggler stands upon
the stage, throws a handkerchief over
his extended arm, and produces in buo
cession three or four shallow glass dishes
filled to the brim with water, in which
live gold-fish are swimming. Of course
the dishes are concealed somehow upon
the person of the performer.
Peter Lamb, the young fellow who
lives near me, discovered how the trick
was done, and he offered to do it the
other night, at Magruder's party, for the
entertainment of the company. So the
folks all gathered in one end of the par
lor, and in a few moments Lamb entered
the door at the other end. He said:
" Itadies and gentlemen, you will per
ceive that I have nothing about me, ex
cept my ordinary clothing, and yet I
shall produce presently two dishes filled
with water and living fish. Please watch
me narrowly."
Then Peter flung the handkerchief
over his hand and arm, and we could see
that he was working away vigorously at
something beneath it. He continued
for some moments, and still the gold-fish
did not appear. Then he began to grow
very red in the face, and we saw that
something was the matter. Then the
perspiration began to stand in beads
upon Peter's forehead, and Mr. Magru
der asked him if he was welL Then the
company laughed, and the magician
grew redder. But he kept on fumbling
beneath that handkerchief, and appar
ently trying to reach around under his
coat-tails. Then we heard something
snap, and the next moment a quart of
water ran down the wizard's left leg, and
spread out over the carpet... By this
time he looked as if the grave would be
a welcome refuge. But still he contin
ued to feel around under the handker
chief. At last another snap was heard,
and another quart of water plunged
down the trouser of his right leg and
formed a pool about his shoe. Then the
necromancer hurriedly said that the ex
periment had failed somehow, and he
darted into the dining-room. I followed
him, and found him sitting on the sofa,
trying to remove his pantaloons. He
exclaimed :
"Oh gosh! .Come here, quick, and
pull these off I They're soakin' wet, and
I've got fifteen live gold-fish inside my
drawers flippin' around, and raspin' the
skin with their fins enough to set a man
crazy. Ouch ! Oh, Moses ! Hurry
that shoe off, and grab that fish there at
my left knee, or I'll have to howl right
out !"
Then we undressed him and picked
the fish out of his clothes, and I discov
ered that he had had two dishes full of
water and covered withindia-rubbertops
strapped inside his trousers behind. In
his struggles to get at them he had torn
the covers to rags. We fixed him up in
a pair of Magruder's trousers, which
were six inches too short for him, and
then he climbed over the back fence and
went home. He says, now, that the next
time he gives exhibitions in public he
intends to confine himself to ventrilo
quism. Max Adder,
The Bean.
The bean ( Vicia Faba) was cultivated
at an early date iu Egypt and Palestine.
Curious superstitions concerning the
vegetable were held by various nations
of antiquity. The Egyptian priests for
bade the very sight of it, as an unclean
thing; and the priests of Jupiter were not
allowed to touch it, or even speak its
name. It is said that the Roman family
of the Fabii derived their name from the
plant. Besides the ordinary use of the
bean, the Romans made it into meal,
which was mixed with flour, and was
also esteemed by the ladies as a cos
metic. The vegetable was probably introduced
into Spain by the Moors, and thence into
the other countries of Modern Europe.
It is supposed to be a native of the
shores of the Caspian sea. In Barbary,
where it is largely cultivated, the seeds
are full grown by the end of February,
and the plants continue in bearing
through the spring. The plant is very
prolific. A single specimen has been
known to bear 126 pods, containing 399
perfect seeds. It is said that Alexander
the Great brought the kidney-bean
(Phancolua vulgaris) into Europe.
About i the year 1509, they found their
way from the Netherlands into England.
The scarlet-runner (Phaseolus multiflor
tis) was carried to England from South
America, its native habitat, in 1633, and
was for some time cultivated for orna
mental purposes before it was used for a
culinary, vegetable. Contrary to the
canal habit of climbers, the tendrils of
the scarlet-runner turn to the right. It
has been supposed that this peculiarity
is accounted for by the fact that the
plant originated south of the equator,
where, by turning to. the right, its ten
drills follow the apparent diurnal course
of the sun.
Beans are very nutritious, containing,
when ripe, about 36 per cent, of starch
and 23 per cent, of legune, a nitrogen
ous substance analogous to the caseine
of milk.
Sew York Fashion Notes.
- French heels are no longer fashion
able.
Waists are made long, and to look as
slender as possible.
White deuble-breasted waistcoats are
worn with the frock coat to show above
the turnover of the lapeL :
' . Waistcoats are single-breasted, with
out a collar, cut long, and with four out
side patch-pockets, to match the coat.
PaktaiiOons are cut straight and full to
the leg, with side-pockets and welt on the
outside seams. There is no spring to the
bottoms.
. Mast toilettes this season have only
one skirt, but of such heavy material and
so abundantly trimmed, that it is even
more expensive than a double skirt. .
Nearly all dresses now have a draw-
inc-Htrino' in tha hanlr tn maV. tliom
m , v ......m huwiu vjuij-
venient for home and street wear, and if
properly adjusted, they are equally serv
iceable for either.
Thk spring style of coats for gentle
men is of medium length, buttoned rather
faicb. and rait t nnnnT hn 1. i
button to display the waistcoat. There
am frml Anixnjl. mini. n ..1 j ,
w..wj imiuu-uwfteiii, ana. me
garment is always worn buttoned.
A raw sensible ladies have introduced
ine iasnion 01 wearing a new style of
Ywwtt in ntivmw . 4.1..... rm
- onv-.mj nsiitir, Aiiey are made
nearly as high as the knee, with very
kuiM-ujigmy prooi against
rain and snow. Thaw i JTtj.
order, and are quite expensive, but are
yiciciBuw 10 ruDDers 01 any kind.
In England, it is proposed to move
street carriages by clock-work. It is
said that all practical difficulties have
been removed. The carriages, of course,
must labor under the very slightest pos
sible amount of friction that is to say,
must tro on rails. C.ra nf
spoken of, - but the inventors claim a
power to move a car of five tons, requir-
"o iwij orteu uiuiureo. and twenty
pounds on the periphery of the spring
barreL Sheffield springs having a force
of nine hundred pounds have been made.
The springs are made to be wound up at
intervals by stationary steam engines.
, Epidemic Among CbJldren.
The other day, says a lady in an ex
change, we listened to a very interesting
lecture on this subject given by a mem
ber of the medical nmf enaion ' an3 tsj-1r
notes of portions of it for the benefit of
our readers.
The three epidemics spoken of were
measles, scarlet fever and small-pox. In
repeating what the physician stated we
shall say nothing about the treatment of
these diseases, leaving that to be deter
mined by each reader for himself, and
only mention points interesting alike to
all.
A child affected with measles appears
to have a severe cold in the head ; its
eyes are red and very sensitive to the
light ; its face is swollen, and on the
third day the eruption appears on the
face in blotches of a crescent or horse
shoe shape, which spread and cover the
surface of the body. When the finger is
pressed firmly on these red blotches the
redness does not go away. .
Scarlet fever generally begins with
nausea, followed by pain in the limbs
and sore throat ; the face is not swollen
and the eyes are not very sensitive to the
light. On the second day the rash ap
pears, first on the face in small points of
vivid red, which become diffused and
spread over the entire body. The tongue
is very white, with blood-red spots ap
pearing above the furred surface. If a
pencil or the finger ia pressed firmly on
the skin the redness will give place for a
time, leaving the skin white where the
pressure was exerted, and then the scar
let returns. On the fifth day the rash
turns brown and the skin is very dry.
This is the dangerous time, since the
skin being unable to perform its func
tion, the kidneys and lungs have double
work to do. At this stage of the illness
the foundation is often laid forBright's
disease of the kidneys, and everything
depAids on keeping the skin soft and
moisi This can be done by oiling it
f reeH with salad oil, with pure lard, with
unsolved butter, or, what is most agree
able ol all, with glycerine and rose water,
two ptrts of the f ormer,to one of the
latter. V In England the favorite treat
ment is o immerse the patient in a warm
bath, wlch is repeated frequently.
The symptoms of small-pox are, first,
a chill, then violent nausea, pain in the
head, and aching in the bones. On the
third day the eruption appears on the
forehead and about the face in scattered
pimples that feel when the finger is
passed over them as though a bead or
the head of a pin were imbedded in the
akin.
Measles requires a treatment so simple
that any intelligent mother should be
able to take her child safely through it.
The symptoms of scarlet fever and of
small-pox are so pronounced that they
are not likely to be mistaken. The first
thing to be done is to quarantine the
patient, so as to prevent the infection
from spreading. This can be success
fully done by placinsr him in too room
of the house, from which carpets, up
holstered furniture and woolens of every
description snouid ne removed. A lie
furniture left should be of the simplest
description, a single or three-quarter bed
for the patient, a lounge for the nurse to
recline upon, wooden or flagged chairs,
and a table. There should be a grate in
the room and a fire kindled in it. This
will not only keep the room ventilated,
but destroy the germs of the disease as
they pass over the flame in their way out
of the room. Since so much in these
diseases depends on the care taken of the
patient, there should be two nurses, in
order that one may be on the watch
while the other is resting. There is no
danger of contagion until the eruption
comes to the surface, so that in case of scar
let fever the mother has two days to take
precautions against the spread of the in
fection, and in small-pox three days.
When the, disease is passed the bed
clothes may be disinfected by a thorough
boiling, and all not treated in this way
should be burned.
Strange Matches.
It is a historical fact that Frederick
of Prussia formed the idea of compelling
unions between the tallest of the two
sexes in his dominions, in the hope of
having an army ol giants. The reader
will, in all probability, recollect the fol
lowing ludicrous incident: It so hap
pened that during a rather long ride the
King passed a particularly tall young
woman, an utter stranger. He alighted
from his horse, and insisted upon her
delivering a letter to the commanding
officer of his crack regiment. The letter
contained the mandate that the bearer
was instantly to be married to the tallest
unmarried man in the service. The
young woman was somewhat terrified,
and, not understanding the transaction,
gave an old woman the letter, which was
conveyed to the commanding officer, and
this old woman was, in a short time mar
ried to the handsomest and finest man in
the crack regiment. It is not necessary
to say that the marriage was an unhappy
one particularly so to the old woman.
In this connection comes another anec
dote. - A rich saddler directed in his will
that his own child, a daughter, should
be deprived of the whole of his fortune
unless she married a saddler. A young
earl, in order to win the bride, actually
served an apprenticeship of seven years
to a saddler, and afterwards bound him
self to the rich saddler's daughter for
life. But the union was anything but
a happy one; the bride, neither by birth
nor breeding a lady, reflected little credit
on her bridegroom's choice; and repeated
quarrels were followed by separation.
So it is with unequal matches ; gold and
brass won't unite. Novels tell us that
felicity followed the union of Lord Fitz
gerald to Mary Ann Jones, quite ignor
ing Mary Ann's predisposition to red
knuckles and unshapely feet, which pe
culiarities finally make my lord's fife
burdensome. Novels are amusing, but
not to be relied on in " matters of the
heart," as a rule. Common sense says:
"Young folk, marry within the boundary
of your social and religious circle."
The Hot Springs of Arkansas. ,
The suit for the possession of the Hot
Springs of Arkansas has been decided in
favor of the government. This will be
good news for the people living in the
straging village, paying high rents to
chumante of the soil without being
afforded the poor protection of even a
town corporation. The lands in dispute
embrace four sections, taking in the two
mountains, all the hot springs and the
greater portion of the valley, with the
"rat hole" as the center of attraction,
rhe government will probably establish
large hospitals in the .valley and give
long leases upon portions of the grounds
the erection of hotels, residences, etc.
If the government acts wisely in the
matter, the springs will in a short time
become the most populous watering
f"w "i m world. ruzsourgn vom
merdiaL . -
. What holds all the snuff in the world ?
No one nose.
SPflCNG.
The air bite ahrewdly it ia rery cold. Hamlet.
Come, genUe apring! ethereal mildnoaa, come.
0 Thompson, void of rhyme aa well aa reaaoa.
How conldat thou -thtia poor-human nature ham I
There'e no auca aeaaoa.' .
The spring . I shrink and ehudder at her name
for why.-I find her breath a bitter blighter,
And anffer from her blow aa if they came
from Spring the fighter.
TTpvlmlu. 41. la. I. t
- ' " . iwra; JJWMP HUH:,
And be here tuneful lauvatea and upholder! .
Who do not feel aa if they had a apring
Poured down their ahooldera.
Let others eulogise her floral abowa;
From me they cannot win a aingle atanra.
I know her bloom are in full blow and ao'a
The influenza. ,
Her oowalipa, atocka and lillee ef the nit,
Her honey fcloeeome that you. hear the beea at ;
Her pansy, daffodil and primrose pale, .
Are things I sneeae at. -
Smitten by breezes from the land of plague
To me all vernal luxuries are fables ;
Oh ! Where's the spring in a rheumatic leg
Stiff aa a table's !
I hmp with agony, I wheeze and cough.
And quake with ague, that great agitator,
Nor dream before July of leaving off
My respirator.
In short, whatever panegyrics be :
In fulsome odes too many to be cited,
The tenderness of spring is all my eye.
And that in blighted.
Thtmuu Hood.
Wit and Humor.
A heavy business Importing ele
phants. No meal is considered complete now-a-days
without a dictionary.
Wwecs a Calmuck (Tartar) has a mar-
riacreable dauirhter he fKest a flair from '
the top of his house.
A faded blossom .nipped in the bud
is no more sorrowful than pale beauty
nipped in the waist by tight lacing.
Why is Gibraltar one of the most won
derful places in the world ? Because it
is always on the rock, but never moves.
Ik Celoochistan when a girl agrees to
marry a young man, and then flunks out,
the mother can lawfully claim one of the
maiden's ears, and the maiden can walk
off on the other.
Take life easy, and don't always be try
ing to beat the sun up. You may wm
for a while, but in the long run you are
sure to be beaten, and some morning it
will rise when you don't.
The Maine County Commissioners have
forbidden smoking, chewing and games
in all the jails in the State, and the Ken
nebec Journal is apprehensive that those
institutions will be depopulated.
Lord Morpeth used to tell of a Scotch
friend, who, to the remark that some
iople could not feel a jest unless it was
ed at them with a cannon, replied :
" WeeL but hoo can ye fire a jest out of
a cannon, mon t"
A XiATB issue of the New York Graphic I
contained a portrait of Byron's " Maid j
of Athens" as she looks now. She is, no
doubt, an estimable old lady, but her ap
pearance is such that no one can wonder
the poet wanted his heart back.
" Augustus dear," said she, tenderly
pushing him from her, as the moonlight
flooded the bay-window where they
were standing, "I think you had
better try some other hair-dye, your
moustache tastes of turpentine."
Babbistbb (to witness) Now, sir, what
is the character of the plaintiff in this
suitf Witness Her character is slight
ly matrimonial. Barrister What do you
mean by a slightly matrimonial charac
ter ? Witness She's been married thaee
times. .;..
' Thk St. Louis Globe thinfra; the most
melancholy spectacle in the world is a
cold pancake. The Louisville Journal $
thinks an empty bottle, where there is no '
chance to fill it, is a melancholicker.
Each editor thus reveals what is, to him,
the staff of life.
. MAIDKlt MAKNKJLM.
" Which like you best," my friend inquires,
" A maid extremely bold or shy T"
" No man of sense, I think, admires
A leering or a lowering eye.
For me, the juste milieu I seek ;
I fain would leave alone
The girl who rudely alsps my cheek,
Or volunteer her own 1"
Pbbkrk got a little tired of returning
the bow of an uncomfortably polite man
in his establishment, and finally gave
the polite man this conundrum at point
blank range : "Sir, what would become
of the hours if the minute hand stopped
to bow to the second hand every timtt
they met!"
AtjOnzo Ladd, of St. Jtohnsbury, is
comfortably off for parents, having six in
all four of them, of course, by marriage
and none of them less than 80 years of
age. It is sad to see. an orphan boy run-'
mng around the world with no one to
love, none to caress, but here is A. Ladd
who has paren ts and to spare.
Unsettled Condition of Europe.
Europe is not in a condition which
promises a lasting peace. In Buseia
there is widespread discontent and un
certainty. The social results of the
emancipation of the serfs cannot yet be
predicted, and socialism is spreading
rapidly among - the working classes, and
the army, which is undergoing reorgan
ization, is not yet in an effective oondi- .
tion. In Germany the feeling that the
empire rests on Bismarck's shoulders
renders the public mind uneasy as to -the
consequences which will follow his '
death. Austria is trying the experiment
of dual government, and the success of
the experiment is Trroriemn.Hrjil. TVnn.
mark dreads an attack from Germany,
uiu is aronDiea witn a struggle Detween
the peasantry and the landholders. Tur
key is nearly bankrupt. France ia with
out a permanent government and bur
dened by the cost of a destructive war.
Anarchy rules Spain, and Belgium is
torn with religious strife. Only in Italy
and England is there promise of peace
and prosperity. This almost universal
discontent and uneasiness, coupled with
the efforts of all nations to bring their
armies up to the highest point of ef
ficiency, foreshadows the near approach
of war, and the very recognition of tha
fact that war may break out any day ren
ders the confidence which is the neces- .
sary condition of prosperity all the more
impossible. Jfew York Graphic.
Rapid Printino. The Glasgow News
says : 44 The change of proprietorship of
the Evening Star and the issue of the
paper from the office of the Glasgow
News were announced by 1,025,000 little
handbills, which were printed in the in
credibly small space of half an hour
Such a feat of rapid printing, we believe,
has never been performed. The process
was interesting. The small handbill,
measuring three inches by two, was re
produced by stereotyping to the extent of
836 times, and by 4,000 revolutions of the
press the million bills were printed. It
occupied ten hours to cut them up with
a steam guillotine machine, and they
were distributed throughout the town
from the windows of two carriages."
A bevolveb with which five of ita pre
vious owners had committed suicide was
sold at auction in Paris the other day