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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Feb. 12, 1875)
rrBUEHKp EVTKT miKAT BY COLL. VAN OLE V IE. ALBANY, OREGON. THE YOUSG FOLKS. HnnnlnK my from 'Mamma. Knotting away from nismtua Bareheaded up the street. Kicking the dnt into yeliuw smoke With little roRUtsu feet. Tossing It otit his clean whits drew Into bis stocking he!, Chcktuii the l'ttle woda horse Thu trundl-s along on wheels. Dresmlus tnf, with wide bine eyea, And speculating wbr Oo.l won't give him the golden bell Tbst drops in the quivering sky. Wuat is the use of that pretty pink cloud 8 tiling sway so high If be csu't have a ride in it T And it's no ue to try. If that woirsn crew with glasses on. If this house is papa's ; Why that iitc red cow wont talk to him Looking scroa the bars. Into the neighbors' galea and doors. Under their coerry trees. Into mischief and nut agaiu, Wherever he may please. Wandering at last to the old church steps Little horse and all, Clinib:ug up labcrtonslv Too bad if be should fall ; Pushing in with dimpled hands The Krrat doors, strong ana tall, Xetting the warm, sweet summer light Slide down the shadowed wall.. Standing still, in the solemn hush Of chancel, nmve and dome, Thinking it i prettier Than the sitting-room at home. Not a bit afraid, ah ! no indeed. Of the shadows, rest and dim, (juire at home, and sure it was mads All on purpose for him. Tbeold, old story oomos up to me. Written vo long ago. About the heavenly temple, w here you and 1 must go, " The beautiful, waiting temple. That has no room fot sin Something abjut a little child And the way of entering in. Kins Henry tad tfa Miller. It has been all the fashion with story tellers and ballad-makers to represent favorite Kings as putting on various disguises, and playing clever, good humored jokes upon the humblest of their subjects. Nearly all of the En glish Kings are so represented, and there were no stories that the people loved better to tell than these. They were the old Christmas stories, told by the Yule-log in the bleak old days of the English barons, when swords and helmets were thick and books were few. Thus we have the tales of King Henry VIII. and the Miller of Dee ; of good Duke Philip of Burgundy and Sly the tinker; of James I. and the tinker; ot William III. and the forester, and so on all through the reigns of the Ssot ish J ames and English Georges. Some of these stories were fiction, like that of Old King Cole, That j olly old soul." But most of them were true. The wan dering harpers used to relate them in verse ; and as delightful as the bringing in of the Ynle-log and the mistletoe, the fiery sport of " snap dragon," or the rollicking play of " blind man's buff," were the noliday tales of the funny doings of these merry old English Kings. One of the oldest of these ballad sto ries relates to King Henry and the mill er, and starts off briskly with : Henry, our royal King, would ride a hunting, To the green forests so pleasant and fair." The forest was Sherwood, where once lived Robin Hood and his merry men. King Kenry (Plantaganet) was young then, and he took with him a great reti nue of young Princes and nobles. So the horses cantered over the hills of Nottingham, and plume after, plume danced out of sight among the green leaves. The King separated himself . from the gay party, and dashed off with .spirit into the heart of the forest. At last the day began to deeline and -the shadows grew long and thick in all the forest. The King blew his horn. There was no answer. He was lost. He rode on. As the forest grew dark, lie heard the flow of water,; and discov ered a cool stream just reflecting the light of the rising moon. Presently he hear a mill-wheel. Then his heart took courage. Ha soon reined his horse be fore the door of the mill. "Good miller," said the King, "is this he road to Nottingham ?" I guess you knows as well as I," answered the miller. "You look as though you had been there before." " Who do you take me for ? ' asked the King in astonishment. " For some gentleman thief or other ; no honest man, sure." " But I must lodge with you to-night.' . I have gold at hand. " At the word " gold," the miller began Ho prick up his ears. Just then the miller's wife a large, fat, brawling -woman looked over her husband's shoulder. She; too, had heard the word gold," but was still cautious. She delighted in the sweet name of Bymytroth. No one delights in that name now. " Are you svre that you are no run away?" pied Bymytroth. "I am no runaway," said the King. " Then show us your passport," said Bymytroth, who had a very logical torn " From whom ?" "From the King!" The King cad no passport, but still finding Bymytroth suspicious and defi ant he began to flatter her, and he bowed so very politely that she was at last induced to say : " You may come in." " . Bymytroth became very much pleased with the King, so much so that she told him that, if he was tidy enough, he mi ohfc aImi) with her own son. " If the King would never hear of it, I would get you some vension for sup per," said Bymytroth. " We do rob the . King's forest of venison - sometimes. 'Wilf yon promise?" " Yes, on my word," said the King ; " the King shall never know any more . about it than he knows now." The King was very hungry after his anxiety and long ride, and as his poor, - week human nature was quite like that . of some other men whose heads were never toppled with a crown, he made . a large supper off the unlawful venison. " Yon, will never tell about this?" said the cautious Bymytroth, looking keenly at her guest. . " The King shall be none the wiser for this from me," said the King, look ing very prof ound. With this stroDg assurance, Bymytroth slept very comfortably that night, but was awakened the next morning by right royal retinue at the door. The miller and his wife then began " shaking and quaking," to use the graphic lan guage of the old song, and the poor miller kneeled down and shut his eyes, "we suppose, in order to make his last prayer. But how charmingly it all ends ! the King - J"tal courtesy for to require, Qave him a toring and dubbed him a knight." ; . ruTT-bSve Btory in its day very iancl at that time were very severe and hard on the poor. It f ho wed what the rung Himself would do when he was hungry, and it seemed a concession to the cause of the suffering poor. St. Nicholas. Little Johnny's Composition. THE GOO8E. This is a big fat bird wich woddle and swims. The reson it woddles is cos it hain't got no nees to its legs. Their feets is got lether between the tose, and here is a story wich Ive herd my mother tel til Ime jest sick. Wen we had in a gooee for micklemis it was a lyin on the kitchn table, and mother she hel the baby up to see the goose on the table. Wen the baby see it feet stickin up with the lether between the tose, it said, the baby did, doosey dot guvs on. But pirate storys is the sort for me. Stoopid folks is some times call geese, and I sdoss if coene tnks uraotij their selfs they calls tne stoopid ones fokes, wicn is wot 1 calls lair play. Once they was a ole man that kep geese for a livin, and he was very ill coz he cuddent sleep well nites, and wen he did sleep he had sech frifle dree ma. Se he sent for the dockter, and the dockter felt the ole mans puis, and leokt at his tung, and shook his hed, and said wot was his simptems ? and the ole met he said nite mares. Then the dockter enid he knew that, but wot did the ole man dreem ? The ole man tole the dockter that as soon as he shet bis eyes at nite he tbot his self surownded" by geese, wich kep a snatchin out his hair with their bills. Then the dockter he said I cud a tole you that wea I first see your tung, you mus thro away this piller, and make a other piller of fethers wich you mus jerk out of live geese. Wy, said the man, that is jes how I made this piller. Then the dockter said oh ! oh ! and went away, but the ole man he see how it was, and never stript any more geese til they was ded. But thats the kind of pillers wich" some fokes dies on real peeceful. Geese lays eggs like hens, only bigger, and wen they are hatch the chicks is goslins, wich, is green. Once my uncle Ned he fetch home a goslin wich he had pick up, and he put it in my sisters green work box. Then uncle Ned he said tb my sister, Missy, I brot home such a nice little duck, as wite as sno, have you see it any were, for I have loss it. My sister said no, she haddent, but uncle Ned he said was she sure she haddent hid it some were jes to tese him, but she said wy, uncle Ned ! But he kep on a askin. and bin tin like he thot she done it, til she was almost ready to cry, for she luvs uncle Ned offler than anyboddy excep .her yung man. Pritty soon wen he had gon she went to her green work box to git some thing, and there was the goslin, and wen she see it I thot she wud die. Then she took the goslin to the kitchin, and I watched her, like uncle Ned had tole me, and she hel it under the spout, and scrubd it with a brush, to get the green of. But wen it wudddent be wite she bust out a crine, and said uncle Ned wud never, never, never bleeve her. Then I tole her how it was, and you never see sech a happy girL She boxs my ears til I see stars ! But wen uncle Ned come home with a new scarf he had bot for her, and laft at her, fche forgive me, and made sech a pet of that goslin that now it is grode up to be a regler nooserca, but its wite at last. . My sisters yung man he Bays once upon a time ol the geese in a puddle get to gether to chose a king, but it was a long time before they cud agree, cos them that diddent want to be king wanted to be prime minister, and these gabbled ol to once so they was as bad as the others. And now, my sisters yung man said, how do you guess tha settled it ? And wen I said I diddent kno, he said wy, jes like resonable hu min beins ; tha made a king of the big gest goose. Why the Batter Didn't Come. They have a new hired girl over at Keyser's farm, just outside of New castle, and on Tuesday, before start ing to spend the day with a friend, Mrs. Keyser instructed the girl to white wash the kitchen in her absence.. Upon returning, Mrs. Keyser found the job completed in a very satisfactory man ner. Oa Wednesdays Mrs. Keyser al ways churns, and last Wednesday, when she was ready she went out, and, finding that Mr. Keyser had already put the milk into the churn, she began to turn the handle. This was at 8 o'clock in the morning, and she turned untielO without any signs of butter ap pearing. Then she called in the hired man and he turned until dinner time, when he knocked off with some very offensive language addressed to the butter which had not yet come. After dinner the hired girl took hold of the crank, and turned it energetically until 3 o'clock, when she let go, with the remark which conveyed the impression that she be lieved the churn to be haunted. Then Mr. Keyser came out and said he wanted to know what was the matter with that churn anyhow. It was a good enoughs churn if people only knew enough to work it. Mr. Keyser then worked the crank until half-past 3, when, as the butter had not come, he surrendered it again to the hired man because he had an engagement in the village.: The man ground the machine to an accompaniment of frightful im precations. Then the Keyser children each took a turn for half an hour, then Mrs. Keyser tried her hand, and when she was exhausted she again enlisted the hired girl, who said her prayers while she turned. But the butter didn't come. When Keyser came home and found the churn still in action he blasted his eyes and did some other innocent swearing, and then he seized the handle and said he'd make the butter come if he kicked up an earthquoke in doing it. Mr. Keyser effected 290 revolutions of the crank a minute, enough to have made any ordinary butter come from the ends of the earth ; and when the perspiration began to stream from him, and still the butter didn't come, he uttered one wild veil of rage and disappointment and kicked the churn over the fence. When Mrs. Keyser went to pick it np she put her nose down to thejttuttermilk and took a sniff. Then she understood how it was. The girl had mixed the white wash in the churn and left it there. A good, honest and intelligent ser vant who knows how to chum can find a eituatien at Keyser's. There is a vacancy. who died in Paris the other day, had a- m . m mm " Deen ooiiged to leave nis own country, from the idea anions? the country peo ple that be belonged to a family of vampires, the eldest son of which for three generations came out of their graves to suck the blood of living peo p e. It is said that five days before his death he told his landlord that it would be well, after his decease to remove his heart, so as to prevent his rising from we grave. MAN'S INHUMANITY. Horrible Story ot Cruelty on Board a Steamship A. Alan Literally Roasted Alive. - A New York telegram says : An out rage, which seems to have few parallels for its inhumanity, has occurred on one of the Hamburg steamers. Herman Douars, for several years a resident of New York, went to the office of the New York and Hamburg Eogle Steamship Company, and obtained a free passage to Hamburg on condition that he would work as fireman during the trip. No sooner was ho on board of the steam ship Lessin;r thin the paid firemen began to maltreat him in the most shocking manner. It is alleged that Douars was knocked down with a coal shovel ; when senseless from blows, he was thrown on the steam chest near the boiler, where they allowed him to lie nearly fifteen minutes, although it was so hot that, according to the testi mony of the witnesses, no one could lay Lis band on it. Douars was thus, in all probability, roasted alive. The bar barians who had so inhumanly tortured him next tied a rope around his body and hoisted him up, his head striking repeatedly against the iron edges of the hatches. Douars was then let down again into the engine-room and carried to the hospital. The surgeon of the Leasing, - Dr. Friedelmeyer, looked at the body, bled it without effect, and then examined it, and found the man was dead. The captain, instead of ordering an investigation and putting the murderer in irons, enjoined, it is asserted, upon everybody not to say a work about the horrible occurrence to the passengers, and, contrary to the rules of the ship, he had the corpse lowered into the sea at 4 o'clock on the following morning. - An official investi gation in regard to the affair is being made. A Grasshopper Story. Near Topeka, Kan., I talked with a farmer who planted a thousand acres of corn, but did not gather an ear. Last year he sold corn for 17 cents, and this year he was shipping it from Iowa at $1.25. He sat on the balcony mourn ing the utter destruction of his crop. "How did they come the grass hoppers ?" I asked. Ttey came like a shower, sir," he replied. ' ' They came in a great shower from the west. They filled the air. They daikened the sun. They covered the ttalk of corn until it was black. Then they ate every leaf, ate the stalk down to the young ear, and then ate the 1 little ear, too." "Cob and all, sir? ' "Yes, cob and all" "Why. don't you see that 1,000 acres of corn out there now ?" he exclaimed " standing like broken whip stocks ?" " What else did they eat ?" I asked. " Why, they ate every leaf off of the peach trees, ate the young peaches, leaving the stone?, and there stood my trees leafless, bearing a crop of peach- stones. They are little cottonwood limbs an inch thick ; they ate my beet. turnips and onions clean down into the ground hollowed 'em out, leaving the rind ate cigar stubs, sir, and " "Hold up!" I said, "thats too much ; that's " " But it s the solemn truth, sir. Why, dee night I sat on the balcony witn tne engineer of tne santa JTe road. The hoppers had piled up against the west side of tne nouse three feet tluek. It was a crawling, stinking, nasty pile. The balcony was covered. I threw down a quid of tobacco, and the hop pers covered it and ate it up in a few minutes, and when X put my foot on a pile of them, the rest sailed in and ate the smashed ones up. Why, when I went to build my fires this fall, the stoves wouldn't draw, and, on examin ing to learn the cause, I found the flues full of hoppers. They filled the air with a horrid stench. They ' covered the pools and springs with their poison ous green excrescence, and made the cattle sick, they made the hens and turkeys sick, and they fairly made me sick. Why, I've seen them so thick on the railroad that they'd stop a train grease tne tract till tne locomotive wheels would roll over and over." " What became of them ?" I asked. . "They flew east. They always flew in the daytime, and ate at night They went through my corn-field in a day. and tne next day they were a half mile to the east." " And the trees ?" " Why, they all leaved but again, and many of them blossomed over again. and tried to bear fruit, and did bear it till the frost came. In mv trees' vou'd see dead peach-stones and pink blos somsan together. Oh, it was mourn f ul sight, sir dreadful !" and the farmer drew a long sigh. Cor. New York Sun. A Terrible Disclosure. John Martin, an old Mexican, who lives a few miles below this place, has a small garden-ranch, on which is situ ated a fine spring. A few months since, this spring not supplying snfficent water to irrigate nis garden, Martin employed some three or four Indians, and began to clean out and enlarge it. After digging down a short distance he found an immense quantity of loose i rocks of all sizes, which he proceeded to remove. Alter eomg so he found several human skeletons. On making ! this discovery the Indians became somewhat excited, and expressed a de sire to stop work ; but, after much per suasion, Martin succeeded in getting them to work again, and in a short time took from the spring nine skulls and other bones belonging to the hu man frame. The Indians refusing to work any longer, and the water coming in so fast, he was compelled to give up work for the time. Martin is confident that there are several more yet in the spring, ana as soon as possible will re move them. Those taken out : were buried a short distance from the spring. The skulls are evidently those of white persons, of all ages and sexes infants, children, and adults. Besides these were found glass bottles and ether con veniences used by emigrants -; in camp ing; also a quantity of flint arrow heads, such as are used by the Pit River Indians, and in one of the skulls was found a split ball. : The Indians profess to be wholly ignorant of the matter, yet all the circumstances give evidence that an emigrant train was murdered here many years ago, and that the Indians are tne authors of ic Modoc (Cal.) Independent. Wellesly College for Women. The new Wellesley - College for women, at Wellesley, Norfolk county, Mass., is to have a course of study not exactly tao same as that prescribed fur young men in most of the principal col leges, the elective plan being . carried further than in these institutions. But the course is no less comprehensive, and contemplates no less thoroughness. The officers of the college are all to be women. Some question is made, as to whether at present women can be ob tained who are qualified by education and executive kill to take tke highest position : but the founders are conn dent of being able to secure women for the places, and are resolved to lannch the institution upon that basis. The college will have attached to it a preparatory school where young women who, going out irom the various academies and seminaries, find them selves insufficiently prepared to enter college, may complete their prepara tions. The course of study, after enter ing college, is four years. It is supposed that a majority of the girls graduated from the boarding-schools and desiring to enter Wellesley will have to spend from one to two years in the prepara tory department. Jew xoric wrioune Fearful Effects of Bad Writing. Mr. Watts had occasion to go to New xork last week. After he had beon there a few days Mrs. Watts received a telegram, and not being able to decipher the ohirography of the operator, she had no doubt that something dreadful "chad happened to her dear Jacob. She had been brought up among people who always regarded the receipt of a telegram as a signal for the family to assemble and feel - disconsolate. She took the littleones over to her mother's, and then went around to Mrs. Smith's to show the telegram and weep over it. Mrs. Smith said that she had heard of people in New York who had suddenly disappeared, and were never seen again until they were found cut up and packed away in a barrel in some out-of-the-way place. Mrs. Watts couldn't control her grief, as she thought of how awkward Mr. Watts would look cut up into chunks and salted down into a keg, and big lumps kept coming up into her throat as she remembered that last Sunday she didn't put any onions into the soup when asked to. She asked Mrs. Smith if she thought she would look well in black, and then fell into hysterics. Mrs. Smith couldn't think of such a thing as letting her go home that night. Mr. Watts reached the city on the midnight train the same night. He was surprised to find the house all locked up, but concluded that Mary must have been too tired to sit up for him. He rang the bell several times, and then shook the door, but no one answered. He started off to go to a hotel, but then thought Mary must be home, and then' started back. He punched the door, kicked it, got a brick and hammered it ; then he stood off and swore at it. A stream of profanity issued from his lips and floated away on the night air that awoke all the policemen within half a mile. He swore until be was hoarse, and then hired a colored man to use some hard language. They were both arrested for improper conduct. The next day he got away and found his wife at home. She would not be lieve that he was her real flesh and blood Jacob Watts until he allowed her to probe his ribs with a stick as a proof of his substantiality. He didn't do half that he intended to when he was locked up in the station-house, but he mentally resolved that he never would send another telegraphic dispatch to a woman, not even it her husband should run away with somebody else's wife. A. T. Stewart Setting an Example to Fast Young Men. Mr. A. T. Stewart, says an editorial paragraph in the Brooklyn Argus, sets an example to the fast young men of the country which they will do well to copy. Mr.'Stewart is at his place of business at about 8 o'clock every morning. He rides in an omnibus when it suits his convenience. He goes to parties at an early hour, and leaves at a reasonable time. Yesterday we saw one of the wagons in which his goods are delivered covered with can vas drawn over hoops, his name paint ed on the box, and the vehicle filled with parcels passing from Broadway into Wall street. On the seat with the driver sat the merchant prince, as care less of the remarks of others as a sensi ble man ought always to be. Mr. Stewart got omt in front of Drexel's banking-house, without the conscious ness that he had done anything remark able or unusual. About the same time some young bloods alighted from a fine liveried establishment. We happened to know the latter gentlemen as well as the former. One was a young merchant who dees not possess $30,000, and owes five times that amount. His credit is marked D in commercial reports. The other was a gentleman whose father failed in Wall street two years ago, his creditors losing by the failure $400,000, but the wife had had settled upon her a handsome estate. The carriage and horses, of course, rightfully belonged to the creditors. But they, the up starts inside, the flunky on the box, and the cigars from which smoke was then ascending, were shamelessly flaunting and parading the streete while men like Mr. Stewart were riding in a baggage wagon or wading the slush on foot. Coal. The Philadelphia Inquirer says : " Recant explorations between Potts- ville and St. Clair have discovered such immense deposits of anthracite, in ad dition to and underlying those already known, that we may look upon the sup ply of coal in that region as practically inexhaustible. At a depth of 1,900 feet, passing through numerous veins of va rious size and quality, the so-called seven -foot vein was reached, and was found to be thirteen and a half feet thick, and of excellent quality. Beneath this came alternate layers of slate and coal for thirty odd fee, and then the Monmouth vein, twenty-one feet thick ; beneath this again a layer of slate, and then what is thought to be a nineteen foot vein of coal. Below them is be lieved to be the solid rock. Altogether, there would seem to be a depth of near ly seventy feet of coal ; and these veins are of so vast an extent that generations of men may dig from them before the fuel problem will seriously distress us. " The probable area of coal lands in Colorado is 100,000 square miles, a larger space than f he six New England States. The ascertained area of lands abounding in coal is somewhat less than that of the State "of Connecticut. Of fifteen mines working, one near Erie, the Bowlder Vallej mine, works about 100 men, taking out about 250 tons per uj uib miners working by tne piece, averaging daily wages of $5 each. The vein, worked at from five to fifty feet below the surface of the earth, is now nine feet thick. The year's yield of the mine mentioned reaches 250,000 tons, worth at least $1,000,000." Cbottp can be cured in one minute, and the remedy is simply alum and sugar. The way to accomplish the deed is to take a knife and grate and shave off in small particles about a teaspoon ful of alum ; then mix it with twice its quantity of sugar to make it palatable, wmmUMWr 111 HO lULUJftJ WDD- bl. Almost instantaneous relief will .11 IOJUOW. i THE POWEROF GOLD. Three Illustrations In Point,)' Showing How a Turn lu Stocks Affects DUFerant Individuals. . It is truly remarkable what a differ ence money will make with some men. We have an excellent opportunity now of observing the great change, since a goodly number of our citizens have re cently become well-to-do, by the late rise in stocks, who were comparatively poor before the lights of miner's can dles Mst their rays on the great bonan za We will not speak of the man who still holds on to his stock, but of him who has sold out. Our first illustration will be of the man who bought Califor nia at about $40, and sold when it reached $200. He hangs areund the Stock Board every morning watching each quotation with the intensity of a bird of prey watching its victim. When California makes its appearance his countenance will undergo a marvelous change ; it assumes a fiendish expres sion ; his eyes wander over the figures rapidly, then slowly ; draws nearer and squints ; at last, when there is no longer room for a doubt, he rushes frantically across the street, calls for a glass of beer, seats himself at a table, pulls forth a piece of paper and pencil, and then commences to figure up what he has lost by selling so soon. Oh ! for the qni of a Dickens, that we might draw a pen picture of his thoughts. He is the man who never stops to think that he has made $160 on a share. He only takes into consideration the fact that the stock is worth $500 now and that he sold when it reached $200. His friends bandv him, and he is utterly miserable. Our second illustration is the man who got out of Consolidated Virginia at its highest figures. He is the happy man ; he is the prophet. Ask him and. he will tell you that in less than a week you can buy any stock on the lead for $50. Everv man that he meets he shakes by He hand, invites him to drink, tells him how he bought at $60 and sold at $500. The lucky seller is always very cautious not to confide his lucky venture to a man who is flat broke. Oh, no 1 Not he. Should a dead-broke happen to strike him for a piece be is repulsed. Me, the lucky. has all his money still in stocks, so he says. He positively hasn't a $20 piece about him ; but if half a dollar will do, he'll give it up. And so it goes. When tne lucky man nadn t out $S0. he would give up $10 of it to a suffering friend ; but now, how differ ent ! He wants to go to the centennial ; wants to make a trip around the world. In fact, he really don't know what to do with either himself or his money. Our third and last illustration is a true one, taken from life ; but no more so than the previous one. There is a printer employed up in Virginia City, whe for the last five years has not had a dollar to call his own. Somehow, last October, he made a raise of $250. and be made up his mind to salt it down. He salted it by putting it in Best k Belcher at $16 buying thirty shares: It's better than any show to watch that man now. Every morning before the list makes its appearance he appears to be on pins and needles, and his proof shows horrible errors in composition. Just as soon as the quotation appears he is off. No more work for him that day. When he goes to San Francisco ho says he will hire a suite of rooms at the Grand Hotel. He used to stop at the What Cheer when he visited the bay before. " Some may weep and some inay langb, So runs the world away." So it is with men upon whom wealth is suddenly thrust. Some weep be cause they have not enough. Others laugh because their less lucky brethren have not equaled them in the strife for wealth, and others still bemoan their fate because all their friends, relatives and acquaintances have not become rich as well, so that they, may never have to assist them. Gold Hill (iVew.) News. A Dog's Sagacity. The Franklin (Ky.) Patriot has the following : " This story is told us by a gentleman who says its truth is vouched for by witnesses of undoubted veracity: Some years ago, while Mr. Hamilton was fishing near the lower rapids of the Mississippi, just above the Keokuk, he observed below him a man bailing a canoe, preparatory to taking himself, wife and baby across the river. At the same time Mr. H. saw that his New foundland dog was watching the pro ceeding of the party. Seeming to com prehend their int?ntion, thedog uttered a peculiar howl, and prssing, rapidly up the river for some distance, plunged into the water and swam directly down, and landed on a large rock standing out of the water about midway the stream. After shaking the water from his shaggy coat, he again watched the party, who, in the meantime, had embarked in the canoe. J ust as the little boat passed the roek, it was caught in. the rapidly descending current and instantly cap sized. The woman, in falling into the water, loosed her hold on the child, which floated down the stream. The man caught his wife and waded with her to the rock. The instant the child fell into the water the dog leaped in. and in a snort time was seen in the still water below swimming with the child in his mouth, which he carried in safety to the shore." A Paper-Canoe Voyage. Mr. N. H. Bishops, who started from Philadelphia several weeks ago for the Gulf of Mexico in a paper-canoe, has written a letter to a friend in that city, announcing his arrival at Newborn, N. O. He paddled from Norfolk, through the Cypress .Swamp Canal, to Ceure- tuck Sound, and thence to Pamlico Sound, keeping alongshore of the narrow-strip of land which separates these bodies of water from the Atlantio, and running considerable risk in crossing the stormy current which sets in through Hatteras Inlet. The voyager was picked up in Pamlico Sound by a yacht belonging to Judge West, of Newbern, who, with a party of gentle men, had been cruising for several days on the lookout for him, and who offered him the hospitalities of their town. Mr. Bishops, after leaving Newbern, was to row down Bogue, Stump and Masonboro Sounds in about ten days. and reaoh Cape Fear river by interior water passages all the way except the last seven miles. Bice planters on the Waocamaco and Pedee . rivers have wanted him to visit tlteir plantations. Mr. Bishops says that not a man whom he meets will trust himself in his boat. Everv sailor, boatman, and oystermon says he won J a not cross a creek in such a shell. ' ' - Cait. EuMtrND BrntKB, who had made over fifty voyages from Boston to Fayal; died at Someryiile, Mass., on Sunday. An event or nis me wnicn gained him great credit was the saving of 306 per sons from the sinking British ship Gratitude in 1866. He transferred all to his bark, the cargo of which he was obliged to throw overboard to make i room for them, and brought them to Boston, where a purse of $5,000 was given him by the citizens. The British government gave him a gold chronome ter. The Fredonia, which Capt. Burke commanded during the war, was a special object of the hostility of Capt. Semmes, of the rebel privateer Ala bama, but escaped him. Fooling a Bob-Tailed Car Man. The latest atrocity of the wit of the Detroit Free Press is in the construc tion of this story : The other night, as the " last car" on the Michican avenue route was turning around on the table at the corner of Woodward and Jefferson avenues, two young men, who had fixed up a straw man in good shape, helped him aboard and seated him at the end farthest from the driver. The " dummy" man had his hat pulled low, his arms down, and was so braced up against the end of the car that " he" looked as much a passenger as any one. The car moved off after awhile, and as it turned into Michigan avenue an old lady got aboard. She paid her fare, the two young men fol lowed suit, and the car moved on again. the driver keeping his eye on the " dum my" and wondering if he was going to try to beat his fare. At Jfirst street the driver iingled his bell for fare, and the two young men and the old woman looked over at the straw man. The car moved up to Third street, and the driver looked through the window and yelled "Fare" and jingled the bell again. There beins no response, he opened the door and called out to the straw man : " Say, you ! You want to pay your fare !" There was no answer, and after going half a block he shouted out again : " You man, there walk np here and pay your fare !" One of the young men sat opposite "dummy," and he squeaked out in reply j ".Drive on the old nearse i " What I What's that ?" shouted the driver, pushing the door clean open. " Oh ! hire a hall I was the reply. " See here, mister, you've got to pay your fare or get on r exoiaimea tne driver, winding the lines around the brake. " Grashns me I If there s going to be a fight let me off 1" shouted the old lady, and she rushed down the car and made a clean jump from tne door. Now, then, are you going to pay your fare ? said tne driver as ne en tered the car. Pay be-hanged, was the muttered reply. "Yc ou'd better look out for him he's ugly 1" whispered the other young man to the driver. "I don't care if he's as ngry as John Jacob Astor ; he's got to pay his fare or off he goes I" The driver slid down to the end of the car, spit on his hands, and continued : Come, now out with your fare, or off you go I" There was no reply, no movement, and spitting on his hands again he called out : " Well, here you come !" and grabbed dummy" by the shoulders. His ob ject was to jerk the "fellow" out of doors, and expecting a struggle he put forth all his strength in a mighty effort. It was very successful. The driver went out of the ear heels over head, with the straw man on top of him, and the young men leaped off the front end of the car just as the victim was trying to get his thumb in the straw mans eye. A Chicken Within a Chicken. The Prairie Schooner sails up with the following chicken tory : We are informed by Mr, C. H. Richardson, wbo lives near this place, that his wife, while dressing a chicken the other day, discovered one ot the greatest natural curiosities we have heard of lately a chicken within a chicken. Mr. R. says that upon being called to examine this strange freak of nature, he found a small sack about two and a half inches' long and one and a half inches in di ameter, joined to the chicken's gizzard by a fleshy neck or tube a half inch in length, upon cutting open the sack it was found to contain a chicken, which in everv way resembled a young chicken just before emerging from the egg shell ; the nead, neck, limbs, and even feathers were found in a partially de cayed condition. This is a pretty Btrong chicken story, but we have no reason to doubt its truth. We may further add that the chicken in which a ohioken was found was of the male gender." A Snake in Ills Boots. A few mornings ago. Joe Niles, of North Bennington, pulled on his boot, which he had set out in tne woodsneu the eveninor before. He says he " felt something kinder cold and squashy-like aoout nis tosa, nui ouuiuji uu wus. the plague had got intew his boots," but ne went out ana miiaea dtb ur bix cows. When he got back to the house his toes kept "tickling so he couldn't stand it." so he took off his boot, run in his hand, and pulled out a brown snake two feet long, that he had shoved into the toe of his boot. Joe don't put his boots in the woodshed any more, and sends a ferret down into them every morning to make sure that no unwel come visitor has crawled in over night. Troy Press. Tbh "Flno-li'sh PoHtoffioe tavs. The re- c i Qira .,nn &a vaa nnn the expenditure at the same time was gl5,yod,UUU, leaving a surplus oi no less than $7,775,000. There are 42,000 persons employed in the department, of wnom many are women, una namuer in cluding 12,500 Postmasters, 9,000 clerks, and about 20,000 sorters, carriers and messengers. ..-. v .Joseph Wou, who lately died in Hfiaannri- Hrv1 R9 boast ed that he had heard the inaugural ad dress of every President of the United . . . " m, - A 1 3 States to date, xms is w uo reowTwi th nnnlinn it isn't likelv that SEV man could go through all that and live to see nis btn year. Tm ln'iii flf JaOrsnn. Mich.. have banded together, and give notice that they wiu reiuse to wrea uj v" son who is thirty days in arrears for any doctor's bilL An unusually healthy season is expeeted. ; o . -n An-nAl ViAfnrA Tnakiner. as it KJUAiM . " . -1 tA flnat wanhinflr. This BUflUSQ I Miw " " shrinking is usually caused by using too much soap wuu6 ' in too cool water. Never use soda for flannels. ' A Tbrbb Hactk paper says r "The same wise Providence which scourged Egypt with toads and Kansas with grasshoppers, kindly permits theTerre Haute Gas Company to f nrniah the meanest gas in the United States." Thb Congressional library now con tains 274,157 volumes and 53,000 pHxnphlets, an increate during 1874 of 3,000 volumes. THE BOASTING HE5. " Ke-daw J Ke-daw I" a young ben cried, While strutting tbronxb a barnyard wld .' " Ke-daw I Kr-daw 1 've done a feat. In chickendom it can't be beat I" I've laid the finest egg to-day That any ben in town can lay ; - So, little cbickeus far and near, Just bow your heads when I appear. Old mother hens, you needut sneer ; There never was an egg so white, I shall no frantic with delight I" " Ke-daw 1 Ke-daw !" rang clear and load There never waa a hen so proud. The older hens were grave and staid. They said : ' When other egg are laid Six or a dozen at the most My child, yon won't care much to boast. Your utteraaoea will be more soothing ' When laying eggs becomes no new thing. Each turned and called away her brood, ' This young hen thought their actions rude) " How envious these old dames are I My triumph, though, they shall not mar With bitterness my bean would sicken U I were such aa envious chicken." Now, while this scene was going oa Our aame had left her nest alone. And, spying out a splendid chance, A weasel threw a furtive glance At this same egg. Swift aa a lane He rolled It from its downy nest A wanton act be It confessed Its golden freshness there to test. Back, In high feather, came our hen. Her grief is not for tongue or pen ! She gszed upon the empty shell Or that first egg she loved so well ; Had she but known enough to cry, '.tears would have trickled from her eye. Now In this egg-shell we may find A simple moral left behind. In boasting, don't be premature, Ijest disappointment work your cure. Ere you parade your triumph reund, Bs sure your egg is safe and sound I Independent. . Pith and Point. BbxiATtvb beauty A pretty cousin. Shobt crops Convicts' hair. The " panel game " Getting a jury. What the barber said when his wife fell down-stairs Bazor. " En's mean enough to wear clean. shirts " is an Alabama expression. Josh Bilmnos says : " Tew eniov a good reputashun, giv publioly and steal privately.-" Why is a New Bedford whaler like a modern lady's waterfall ? . Because it ia arter-nsn-ile. The butcher will be offended, we sup pose, if we call base-ball a-bat-war, but we'll risk it. Ax Eastern debating society is trying to settle which is the hardest to keep, a diary or an umbrella. Mibebs now and then manage to get up a feast of reason, but their flow of soul is not a success. A ijttxe boy having broken his rocking-horse the day it was purchased, his mamma began to scold, when he silenced her by inquiring : " What is the good of a horse till it's broke ?" A man went into the PostofflLce at Springfield, Ohio, and asked : Is there a letter here for Mike How ? " " No, angrily replied the clerk, "there isn't a letter here for anybody's cow." Pedagogue First little boy, what is your name ? Little boy Jule. Peda gogue Oh no ; your name is Julius. Next little boy, what is yours t Second 1 boy My name is Billins. A coiOBKD gentleman went to consult one of the most conscientious lawyers, and after stating his case said : " Now I knows you's a lawyer, but I wish yon would please, sa, jiss tell me de trull 'bout dat matter." A uxrvxBSTrr. student broke through the ice on Lake Monona, the other day, where the water was only four feet deep. When he was hauled out and laid upon the ice, he faintly whis pered : " Boys, I didn't care for my self, but I'm engaged." A XiAdy went into a carpet store re cently, and, pointing out a carpet, asked the proprietor what it was. " Brussels," s-tys the proprietor. " Brussels," quoth the lady, passing her hand over it. " Seems to me the brustles don't stick up much." As a gentleman was nearly run over in a narrow London street by a dray, he shouted to the driver, " Do you want to kill me?" whereupon the intelligent driver put the thumb of his dexter hand to his nose, and, spreading out his fingers like a fan, replied : " If I had knowed you was a-ooming this way, I would have sent yon a post-card 1" Hottsskkkpeb (who is "going " for the old bachelor) What can I have the pleasure of reading to you, my dear sir ? Old Boy Oh, read the news of the week, Mrs. Wedorburn. House keeper News of the week ! Why it's not yet half gone ! Old Boy (mean-ingly)-i-Tutr tut, I mean the marriage list, stupid ! Even in the saloons opinion upon grave subjects are expressed forcibly. A gentleman slightly under the influ ence of the intoxicating bowl furnished proof of this act, a night or two ago. " Whisky, but," said he, 44 hio brightens the intellect. It ought, by thunder, to be introduced into the public schools, zur." St. Louis Re publican. r The Hottest let. The water enoountered is the main east drift on the 2,000-foot level ef the Imperial Empire mine is the hottest ever struck on the Comstock lode. It was carefully tested yesterday with two good thermometers, and the tempera ture was found to be 150 degrees. The stream of water is but an inch or two in diameter. The temperature of the atmosphere in the drift was yester day 115 degrees. Notwithstanding the hot air and hotter water, men are at work in the face of the drift. Going down by degrees as they are, our miners are becoming inured to the heat, and expect to be able to continue right on down to where the rooks are in a molten state without experiencing the slightest difficulty.. ' At the Consolidated Vir ginia they are already making their cal culations for pumping np the molten silver when they shall have followed the big bonanza down to a depth of about 7,500 feet. Virginia (rev.) Enter prise. - . : . A Singing Monse. The Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser says: "Mr. W. O. Fuller, placed on our table yesterday that great natural curiosity, , the singing mouse, spoken of in a communication from Green ville, published in this paper several days ago. The little songster is of the ordinary sized mouse, with same appearance, differing only in the pe culiar size and shape of its ears, they being longer and wider than usual, re sembling somewhat those of a donkey. He is secured in a diminutive tin squir rel cage, with whirligig attached, plays incessantly, . never seeming to tire, especially at night, when he turns and sings the whole night through without cessation, and at times so loud that a person could not sleep in the same room. His songs resemble those of canary birds more than anything else, but with much greater variety of tones.