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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (Aug. 8, 1873)
' v"". '''' yV iiinvninii i jnj ALBANY TeqTTER. HTJIOBOI'S. An Atlanta pltyficmn advise patients wl in ihw r-ludeti times feel "umilc IW t rectify tlitl condition by (dialing on their beads fi.r a uiii ute st a time tiirice dv V l icli is a simple Wy to "heel up" tliei' dijaculty.. A littl boy in Dover rofwingto take a pil , liis ni.t.ln r placed it in a preserved pttr ai i gave it to him. in a W mii.utes hhe id: "Tom, l ave yi eaten t'te pean?' He t'aitl, " iin, iiMtlipr, all but the ee" , Tlie following i a Itue copy of a letter m.'iveil 1-v schnolnisster in New Jersey : "Sur. n von are. a man Ot noledsr' I lutein) to enter my son In your 4.11!!. Tlie editor oftlie Fredericksburg (Va) News was ked by a stranger "if it was jvwsiWe that little town kept up four i ewsp:iiers." and tlie reply was "N' it taken four oewspajieis tu keep up the town." A Danbury b y of ten winters itole a I annul c-h to serti ade his girl with, a-.d na sending thunder tod lightning throug". it when overhauled by bis lamer and the owner, i .e say there are places where a poultice won't take a hold worth a oent A Vising man living near Detroit inquired of the wty oificials it they were going webrate the Fourth of July. "Because," Paid he, "it you are going to sling jMwder and have a whoopii old time, I want to get a red w leu shirt and a pair ot new boots s d eonM in with Sarah." Sandwich, V. H., still retains, in the midst ot luxuriant toliage and bloomii i In neYsurk es. a snow drift so deep it del", s actual mcs urement, a d they can only "con jecture" about half ol it. Youiiji iii in fjw that hurtle! Totnh ni' "i --ii i,'' "pspe" The w m u's had a tu--!e To gut her!f l.ifliapa. At tins depot an eager looking man jumj! Jrotn the train aiid clasped a waiting Woman in hi? arms. "Heavens! my wife!" said be. "Mercy my rutfe!" said she. Which showed what both were thinking ofi "Iv'e got a new pair ot boots." aaid A. to i'., putting one forward as a sample, "a handsme tit, oh. I bought them to wear in genteel society." " iVy will lie likely to lat you a lifetime then," rejoined B., "and he worth something to your heir-." An old negro stretched non a board and slumbering, with his feet pointing to a glimmering fire, opens one eye. and sets a glimpse of them as t' oy stand in the obscurity. Mistake-them for two little nig gers ai d cries : w(lt fum fire me!" and relap es into sleep. After a while ope is t he other eye, and stih seeing thfl intruders, says: "(iit fum tore me, 1 say! I kick you in de fire it yon don't 1 will.shuah!" and again he snores. His dreams notbeiig pleasant he soon opens bis eyes, a d still wing the little pests, he draws up his 'bot for the threatened kick. but. is alarmed to see the enemy ad v ce upon him : "Whawar you comitV to now?" Ho, my own two lbet,shuahl" Some mistresses arc so fault-find-ing that really tl.ete is no living with them. The slightest tride makes them (tare up and take on. Herefnow is a girl at .'edalia (Mo.) losing her place for what? Simply for straining (bur gallons of crab apple jelly through an eighteen dollar veil. A Chicago editor, upon learning that New 1'ork sewhg women only get four cents tor making a pair of pants, wrote a i al'-tvlumn editorial on the maannesa of men, and offered to pay live cents rather than to see the women suffer. "Doctor, what do you think is the matter with my liUle boy." "Why, it's only a corrnstitied exegis anti-spasmodically emanat ing from the germ of the animal refrigerator, producing a prolific source of irritability in the pericean ity epidermis of the mental pro fundity." "Ah! that's what I told Betsy, but she 'lowed it was wor-rums." AnEnkmyV "Hp ; v.WIimi the Crusaders, tinder i.g Kwliard of Knglaud, deea'ed t! e araoeos, the Sultan, seeng his' troops fly, asked what was t he umber of the Christians Who were making all this slauuhter? iie was told that it was only King h'ichsnl and hiM men, and tha' thev were all a'isit. "Then," said the ultan, "Allah has forbidden t!at Mich a imbe warrior as King Iffchanl should march on toot." and sent him a superb charger, 'he messenger took it and said. "Sire, the Sultan e. Is yon this charijer, that you may not lie on ' lie King was as cunning as his eiemy, and ordered one of his squires to mount the k rse, in order to try him. The Minify obeyed; but the animal fiery, and (the rider could not hold him in) he set oil' at full speed to tlie SulfanV pavilion. The ultan esjiected lie l.ad got King Uicfiard, and was not a little mortified on discover ing his mistake Cimt for Catahkh. Although a catarrh of Itself U not to lie cla ssed with the dangerous ilheases, it Is always troublesome, and If the brnn dilaj become atfectisl a favorable ter inlnutlon. especially with .iihI iersous, h not certain. A remeily for tliU affection, as suggested by l)r. Hagar. I a follows; Five niirt'. of carlioliu acid, six of quaamnioiilas, (sieclflc gravity 0.930) ten of dhtilled water, and fifieeu of alcohol are lo he mixed together in a wlde-uwuthed liottle.. half tilled with eotlOii or u4iestus. and snuffed up from time to time from the bottle. After a thorough trial ot this pivscriptioii Dr. Brand -taiiw tliat it shortens tlie first stage of the disease, prevents the second, and alleviate all the symptoms. He prefers, however, to apply inhalation through the mouth ss well as the no, tiy pouring a few droits on norfltH Hh r. a. id holding it in tlie hollow of tlk hand before the face, with the eyes closed. Sheridan was much annoyed in the House of Commons by a .mem ber who kept constantly crying, "Hear! hear!' I he witty rator described a fellow who wauftd to play rogue, but only l ad sense enough to play tool, and exc aimed, with great emphasis, "Where sha I we find a more foolish knave or a more knavish fool than he?" "Hear! hear!" shouted the trouble some member. Sheridan turned round, and thanking him for the prompt information, sat down amidst a general roar of laughter. A l't.ACK and White Hoy Combi nation. A remarkable loy was to he seen a! the Fa iiville depot ye-terday, ""ays the Louisville Lvlyer of .lime inth. in fact one of the greatest enrios it if s of the age. He is half white and half black, not in the mulatto and and nii-eegeuation sense, hut the lower half of his body is whiter than white folk Usually are. while tlie upper por tion is black as midnight. 1 1 is mot her. I coal black negtv-is. was with him. and they left on the Nashville train at even o'clock !at evening. He is but three year' old, and lias already learned to ma ke money out of his peculiarities. He made several nickels yesterday in a very few minutes. There is a round patch. aNiiit three inches ju diameter, of perfectly beautiful hair on tlie top of his head, which is surrounded by little kinky negro wool. A Scotch mlslsterhad been entertain ing at dinner a clerical friend from some distance. Tlie evening was uupmpitious, and the friend was in vited by I he minhter to remain during the night, and lie accepted the invi tation. They walked together for some time in the manse garden. At dusk the minister asked his visitor to step Into tlie manse, while he would give direc tions to Ills man-servant to get his friend's conveyance ready in the morn ing. As the stranger entered the manse, the minister's wife mistook him fot her husband hi the twilight; she raised the pulpit Bible, which chanced to he on tlie tabby table, and bring ing the full weight ol it across the stran ger's shoulders, exclaimed, emphatic ally. "Take that for asking that ugly wretch to stay all night.'" A Georgia editor describing a wed ding lately, said tlie brido "looked a very lilly. cradled in the golden glim mer ot some evening lake a foam fleck, snowy, yet suu-fluslied, crown ing the rlpplings of some soft Southern sea." If that were really so. the bridegroom must have been puzzled to know whether be was wedding a submarine conservatory or an Aurora Borealis. M13CELLAXEOU8. BUILDERS, ATTENTION J SASH, BLIND, AND DOOR FACTOKY. S. n. ALTHOVSC J. F. BACXKK8TO. . W. KETCHUM. ALT110USE & CO., Lyon Str.vt, oa the Blvi-r Bunk, ALBANY, OREGON. Keep en hand n full assortment, and are pi ejwuJ to FURNISH TO ORDER, Doors, Sash, Blinds, and Moldings, Such as (TOWS, PANEL HA SO 4c SECTION MOLD, Of aU sizes WINDOW AND DOOR FRAMES, Flooring, Siding, -And- All ether kinds or BnllaiitK Material . LSO: PREPARED TO DO MILL ' work, furnish uliaker fans, zlipjig liakfr, iu:tion ftini, 'trlvlrur pulleys of a'iy Mn l,a' our iae'ory on Lyon sircet ion the rh-cr hankl, nex' Mow Marklinni's warehouse. ALTHol'SE CO. Allmny, Feh. 10. 1S8S-H GO TO Till? BEE-HIVE STORE! TO Id Y Groceries, Provisions, Notion u &c, &c, &c, CHEAP F(Ht casai t'onntry Produce of All Kind BOUGHT FOR MERCHANDISE OR OAS 23: ! This ts the place to cet the BEST BAR GAINS ever oifered in Alliany. Par ios wtil always do well tocalland see for . hem aelvea. H. WLEO. First street, AIlny, OrcKon. S2v5 ALBANY FOUNDIIY And Machine Shop, A.F.CIIERKY Proprietor, ALf.ANY, OREGON, Manufactures Steam Eugincs Flour and Saw nill SIacEiin cry, WOOD WORKINO And AGRICULTURAL MACHINERY, And all kinds of IRON AND BRASH t'AVFINUN. Partlcularn'tontton paid to repairing all kinds of machinery. tlvl EPIZOOTICS DISTANCED. THE BAT TEAM STIIX LIVEM, AND IS FLOURISHINO LIKE AORKKN ly tree. Thankful for mst favors, and wishing to merit the con'lnnance of the same, the BAY TEAM will always he ready, an 1 easily found, to do any hanllnv within the city ltml'a. for a reasonahle comoensallon. fcjT Delivery .l Jiols Mpaelalty. A. N, ARNOLD, WvH Proprietor. dkKlndftOAnerday. Agents wanted! All 9tl u'i V classes of working people, of eli her sex, yonng or old. make more mon ey it work for ns tn their spare moment' or all the time, than at anything else Par ticulars free. Addrew 0. Btwaou A Co., Portland, Maine. , Uyl DRY GOODS, ETC. ml SS o a Mi n 1 2 if 19 9 ft A r! w 33 9 t M i in ww arm 5 A?! ? 6.0 a o 2 i ft 9 mm - V U - S l e SS m i 1- ' fti u 2 alio H-3 w 11 e 3 H H a H 0 S5 e r. s M o B i r. 0 e 9 0 sis V c art 9 0 Jl 5" Z 9 'I , mi (C 8 w WATCHES fEWKLRY. J. D. TITC8. J. B. TITl'8. C1IA8. BOCROARDnS. TITUS, BOURSARDES I CO,, in A i.i.i :s I J JEWELRY, Silver & Plated Ware, and DIAMOND SPECTACLES. MANUFACTURED AND ADJUSTED especially for 4he Pncllle (Joai't by the NATIONAL ELGIN WATCH CO. of Elgin, Illinois, viz: Pacific, Culifornia and San Francloco WATCH, and we most conll lently rec ommend them lo (he nnhHc,as ncoiesSing more ,'ool qualities for I he price than any oilier Watch in I he market. We also Keep ail oilier brands of F.Uiln, Waiiliama-id Swiss Wa'ehes, Clocks, Jew elry, Silver and Piated Ware, ALSO PistolH and Cartridges. 63T Repairing a Specialty, jga AII Work Done nnd Woods RoM, Warranted to be m Ripreacuted. Titni, Bonrgardes dt Co., AT JOHH O ANTKK'8 OLD KTANO, First street, ALBAN Y, OREGON. 40t9 a 3 5P 3 5 BUSINK8S CABP9. w. c. tweedUb, MLALEB 1 Groceries, Provfcitns, Ekw ALBANY 0BE60W. WILL STSIVS TO KEKf TBMStBT uf garit in mv liny, and tin at ike toto m living mtet. Call and tee Me. 4S At North Brownsville, KIRK, HUME & CO., ABB 8TIM. BEW.INQ dry mm, mmim, BOOTH, MHOEB, HARDWARE, UROi'ERIEK, . NOTIONS, El'C., ETC., of which they keep on Band a full stock, 1 ...... al.U ,r (Mil At Ltl lit MtML flfl usual, for Cnwli or Prndwe. wit .. I... ... W.... -n.t anil (li-ii Ina n 111 tn: ,m w "v.. " of all kinds, or attend to siorlnjr or for- Give us a trial KIRK, I It ME A CO. J. W. BALDtVIN, Attorn' jr nnd Counselor at Eaw, Wn,L PRACTICE IN ALL THE Conrfti in the l, 81 and h Judicial Dis trict s. in the Snnrcme Court of OreRon, and in theU. S. Dis'rict and Circuit Courts. omcBIn Parrish brick, (upstairs), in ofllce occupied by the late N. H. Craiior, First street, Albany, Oregon. to'.5v j, c. Powell. I" rraWi POWELL A FLIKM, Attorney and Counselors ftt Iaw i Nl) SOLICITORS IN CHANCERV (L. : Kllnn nn'ary tmbllc), A)tan', Oregoa. Collections and conveyance promptly s tended to. D.M.JOHE8. J. L1NSKV II ILL- JONtS H1IX, PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS, ALBANY OREOON. vt T. W. HARRIS, M. D., Phyalcian and Surgeon, ALBANY, ORKHON. OFFICE OVER A. CAUOTnERSA U) Dru sioie. Uesi lence- Fourth-et, lour blocks west of tlie Court House. nUEfTJSL & nVEBS 7Tater"Wla.eel SPHEKIOAL FLUMES, And UVneral tin Mmhlnery. J. F. BACKKN8TO, Agent, 51v8 Albany, Oregon. T. IOKTILR, S? odd, Oregon Manuractui-er of and dealer in IIAR.IS A: SADDLES A Oood Article fiir Fair Price. Particular attention paid to Repaibimb. Bhedd, Nov. ), Tt-UvSy w D. B. RICK, M. D., Surgeon Ac Physician. OFFICE -Flist street, between Ferrr and Bmalaibln. ItrsinEt'E-Thlra Fuel , i wo blocks below or east of Met ho list Chui-ch, Alliany, Oivison. v5nl Files! FileH WHY SAY THIS DAMAGING AND tronblesome conmlnint cannot be xmv I, when so many evi lcnccs St sncesi mistht lie placed liefore yon every day cures of suonosed honeleax cafes? Your nhysiiian infonns yon I ha thelnngeryou uliowthecomnlaini to exist, yon lessen yonr clianees for relief. Sxprknce htm 'lutfihlthif in all auet. A. Cnrotliers A- Co.'s PHe Pills and Olutnictit uiv all thev are recommended to be. Will lire Chronic, B.ind and Bleeding Piles la a very shor lime. and are a m nl nltoute. This prernin ion is sent by mail or e iressfoanyrioint within the Untied States at il VI ner'iiacknge. Address, A. CAROTOKRS A CO., 27v5 Box 33, AHwtny, Oregon. LltiHT RENN1NU "HOHE. Latest! Simplest I Best! IX ALL OTHERS. WARRANTKD li for 5 years. Furnished lo families at itu-iorv prices. Sold from 110 to $15 less than an v other first class machine. The onlv agency in Portland Importing direet from umnnfacturers. Send for terms, U Insrrated circulars and samples. "HOME SHUTTLE" Improved at low prices. El: her machine warranted to give sat isfactlon. Oil, and all kinds of needles for sale. Extra commission to agents. CEO. W. TRAVKB, Gen'lAgt, Old Fellows Temple, lent. 1st or Alder), 43v5m3 First street , Portland, Oregon. Coos Bay Coal Agency. BERRYMAN A DOTS. DEALERS In Cumberland, Lehigh and all descriptions of Foreign and Do mestic Coals. Also. PMJ IRON. Bulkhead -between Pacific and Jackson street wharves, 8tn Francisco. Cal, vs