The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, January 15, 1870, Image 1

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    VOL. 2.
NO. 19.
ernes ob coisit or fbbbt abd fibst-sts.
fliTr... .....Three Dollar
8i Month! Two Dollar
Blngle Copies Tn Cent
Transient advertisement, rer Square of tea
liaea or less, first insertion, $3 ; each subsequent
insertion, $1.
Larger advertisements insurted on the most
liberal terms.
Having received new type, stock of colored
lake, cards, a Gordon Jobber, etc., we are pre
pa ed to execute all kinds of printing in a better
manner and fifty per cent, cheaper than aver be
fore offered in this eity . -
, Agents for the Register.
The following gentlemen are authorized to re
ceive and receipt for si&scription, advertising,
etc., for the Register :
HIRAM SMITH. Esq narrisburg.
Jud(te S. II . CLXCGHTON Lebanon.
PETER HUME. Esq ..Brownsville
W. R. KIRK. Esq
E. E. WHEELER. Eq Scio.
T. II. REYNOLDS, Esq Salem.
tiso. W. CANNON, Esq Portland.
L. P. FISHER, Esq 'Frisco.
Notary Public.
made and attested. Conveyances and col
lections attended to. 12'G'J
Attorney and Counsellor at Law,
FFICE On Main street, opposito Foster's
Hiltabidel & Co.,
risions. Wood and Willow Ware, Confec
tionery, Tobacco, Cigars, Pipes. Notions, etc.
... " . .... . . T. iH A 11 ....
.Mill street, aujuining me express maro,
Oregon. I
E. A. Freeland,
School, Miscellaneous and Blank Books,
Stationery. old and Steel Pens, Ink, etc.. Post
office Building. Albany. Oregon. Books ordered
from New York and San Francisco. 1
S- H. Claughton,
AGENT. Office in the Post Office building,
Lebanon, Oregon.
Will attend to making Deeds and other convey
ances, also to the prompt collection of debts en
trusted to my care. I
J. U. JflTCHEI-L. J. B. noLPB. A. SHITS.
: Mitchell, Dolph & Smith,
Solicitors in Chancery and Proctors in Ad
miralty. Office over the old Post Office, Front
street, Portland. Oregon. I
powbll. L. rim.
Powell &- Flinn,
and Solicitors in Chancery,
(I. Flinn, Notary Public,)
Albany, Oregon. Collections and conveyances
prompty attended to. 1
Attorney and Counselor at Law
WILL practice in the superior and Inferior
courts of Marion, Linn, Lane, Benton and
Polk "counties.
Five per cent, charged on collections when
made without sueing. j 10-69
r. m.
CONSTANTLY on hand and receiving, a
large stock of
Groceries and Previsions,
Wood and Willow Ware, Tobacco, Cigars, Con
fectionery, Yankee Notions, Ac. fce.,' Wholesale
and Retail, opposite R. C. Hill A Son's drug
tore, Albany, Oregon. 5oct9
lltuse, Siga & Carriage Painter,
Faperhaaging', C lazing-, Kalsomine, &c.
. ft. Country orders punctually attended to.
First street, aest door to Tweedale A Co.'s.
May , l99-35tf
fully inform the citizens of Albany and vi
cinity that be has taken charge of this establish
ment, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying
strict attntk 3 to business, expects to suit all
those who may favor him with their patronage.
Having heretofore carried oa nothing bnt
first-Class Hair Dressing- Saloons,
he expec's to give entire satisfaction to all.
,Par' Children and Ladies' hair neatly cut and
shampooed. JOSEPH WEBBER.
. , . sev!9j-2
(Office in Parrish A Co.', block. First street,)
Albany, Oregon.
James Elkihs, Esq., ex-Clerk of
county, we are enabled to add to our prac
tice of Law and Collection, superior facilities for
Conveyancing, Examining Records,
and attending to Probate business.
Deeds, Bonds, Contracts and Mortgages care
fully drawn.
' Homestead and Pre-emption Papers
made, and claims secured.
Sale of Real Estate negotiated, and loans
effected ea collateral securities on reasonable
All bsiness entrusted to them faithfully and
promptly executed.
. Albany, Oct. 10, '68-Sy
Estate ef Joan Weihol, deceased.
.TToiios is hereby given that the undersigned
Fj has been appointed Administrator of the
above estate, by order of the County Court of
Linn county. AH persons having claims against
aid estate must present tbe same to thd under
signed, duly attested, with in six months from this
date, at bis residence oa Oak creek, eight miles
oath east from Albany, Oregon.
Oct. 11, I89.I4
Rrtsaxi. Exits. Attys.
S. D. SMITH. .. . . SBO. B. COOK.
Western Hotel,
Corner First and Morrison streets,
Portland, Oregon.
Messrs. SMITH A COOK have taken this
well known house, refitted and refurnished
it throughout, built a large addition, making
thirty more pleasant rooms, enlarged the Dining
and Sitting rooms, making it by far the
Best Hotel in Portland.
A call from the traveling public will satisfy
them that the above statements are true.
N. B. Hot and cold Baths attached to the
house for tbe benefit of guests. SO
Portland, August 15th, 1869.
Front and ' Washington Streets,
.. P. W. Qnimby, ... - Proprietor.
(Late of the AVestern Hotel.)
THIS HOUSE is the most commodious in the
State, newly furnished, and it will be ths
endeavor of the Proprietor to make his gueste
comfortable. Nearest Hotel to tbe steamboat
THif The Concord Coach will always be four
at the landing, on the arrival of steamships ac
river boats, carrying passengers and tbeir bac--gagre
to and from the boats free of charge.
House snjplied vtth J'utent Fire Extinguishers.
Front street : : : Portland, Oregon.
chased this well known Hotel, are now pre
pared to offer the traveling public better accom
modations than can be found elsewhere in the
Board and Lodging 2 OO per da).
The Hotel Coach wi!t be in attendance to con
vey Passengers and bitgage to and from the
Hotel free of eharye.
Office Oregon A California Stage Company, B.
G. WniTEnorsE. Agent. 2tf
New Columbian Hotel,
Nos. 11S, 120 and 122 Front street,
The Largest, Best and most Convenient
Hotel in Portland!
Located in the center of business and near all
the steamboat landings.
Board and Lodging-
From one to two dollars per day according to tbe
room occupied.
TiflP" Rooms newly furnished and well ventil
ated. Superior accommodations for families.
f The New Columbian Hotel Coach will be
in attendance at all the landings to convey pas
sengers and baggage to and from this Hotel
17 jSf- Free ot Charge ! 69
numerous patrons that she has on hand, and
is in regular receipt of the
Latest and Choicest Styles of Goods
TVT1 111n ery Xslne 2
If you purchase
of Fall Millinery you will bo entitled to the
Demorest lapfaxine,
for the year 1869, as a premium on the purchase
Dress and Cloak making-
in all branches.
Bleaching- and Pressing-
in the latest and best manner.
Goods Cheap and Patience Inexhaustible
Corner Main and Broad Albin streets,
November 7, 1868-9
T3ecldingr, Etc.,
orn er First and Broad Albin streets,
in his lino.
October " 1868-8
I kerp on hand and make to order
8f laiiar Wheels
Shop near the "Magnolia Hills."
Albany, Kot. 28, 1868-13
Accomplished. We are pleased to
be enabled to inform our readers and the
"rest of mankind," that the fifty thous
and dollars required of this city, by Ben.
Ilolladay, to insure the building of the
Oregon Central Railroad (East Side)
through the city of Albany, has been
subscribed $25,000 in land and nearly
826,000 in money. It required an ener
getic effort, for times are hard and money
scarce ; but we have in our midst men
who possess the true stamp, the right
kind of metal ; and when it became evi
dent to them that unless the proposition
was . complied with, Albany would have
do railroad, they ''went for that fifty
thousand" with a energy and determi
nation that always brings success. This
community owe to the gentlemen who took
the lead in bringing this matter to a success
ful conclusion, at least a unanimous vote
of thanks. With the railroad completed
to Albany, her future is secure; without
the railroad it takes no prophetic vision
to foretell her sure decay. Albany should
not forget, either, that she has friends in
Linn, and even in Benton county, who
came forward in her time of trouble and
nobly aided, with gold, her efforts to se
cure the prize. Let us in the future re
member our frieuds, and let the mistakes
of the past teach us to act more in unison
in all enterprises which are intended for
the benefit of the whole community. We
will live more harmoniously, thrive bet
ter, and feel more like freo born Ameri
can citizens should feel and act toward
one another.
Broom Factory. A large supply of
broom straw, and all the fixtures and
material necessary for the manufacture
of brooms, arrived at Messrs. Beach &
Montieth's wharf in this city on Satur
day, for Mr. Belden. This gentleman
will commence manufacturing this much
needed article immediately, and as he is
thoroughly acquainted with the business,
a good article in the broom line will soon
be offered right here at home, at as reas
onable rates as an imported article. Of
course it is to- the interest of our citizens
to give this manufactory a liberal sup
port. It is not necessary for us to give
reasons why all useful enterprises of this
character should be fostered by us they
are patent to every one. At present the
material used in the manufactory will
have to be purchased in California. This
need not be the case another season,
however, as Mr. Belden has or will soon
receive a supply of seed, which he will
furnish to those of our farmers who wish
to engage in the production of broom
corn. Again we say, success to the enterprise.
A Good Thing. We notice that
Messrs. O. P. Tompkins & Co., the gen
tlemanly stove dealers in this city, are
getting up, among other novelties, "gal
vanised iron wash tubs," an article that
strikes us as being just the thing the
ladies have been looking for. The ad
vantages these tubs have ever those made
of wood are obvious. They will not
rust ; they are, if anything, lighter ; if
left in the sun they don't fall to pieces like
those made of wood, and if properly cared
for they will last a lifetime. In possession
of one or more of these tubs you are fixed for
life are at no mere expense for tubs.
At the above mentioned place you will
find a scpre or more novelties, all "handy
to have in the house and even if you
don't want to buy, you should call and
take a look at the various neat and hand
some articles made especially to save labor
and to ornament the kitchen, dining
room and parlor.
Bridge Talk. The want of a bridge
across the South Fork of the Santiam,
in the vicinity of Lebanon is being can
vassed by residents along that stream
with ronewed interest of late. It is
stated to us that during seasons of high
water ot very boisterous weather, it is
impossible to cross at the ferry, and the
residents thereabouts are compelled to
wait the subsidence of the waters, at
times, too, as in the case of sickness,
when a few hours may prove fatal. ' In
case a bridge should be built, a good,
strong, Substantial structure should be
erected, that would stand the heaviest
freshet. A bridge of this character
would not cost less, probably, than from
$8,000 to $10,000. It is believed that
half, at least, of this amount could be
raised by subscription in the vicinity.
Missoula Gold ; Discovery. The
new ' discovery, says 1 the Walla Walla
Statesman, on the Missoula, has caused
quite an excitement in that city, and
some twenty persons have fitted oat and
started for the new diggings. Latest ac
counts state that the mines are richer
than at first reported, and all agree in
pronouncing the new gold fields as the
most promising ever discovered in the
Northern country.
Who Gained the Premiums. We
have been furnished, by the Principal of
the District School, Mr. Thomas G.
Taylor, with the names of those who
have gained premiums for excelling in
their studies during the term ending Jan.
8th, 1870:
Higher Department 1st Class 1st
Division, C. C. Pennington ; 2d, Miss
Icedora Bringham; 3d, Miss. Maggie
Webber and Anna Parker. 2d Class,
1st Division, Miss Florence Nixon ; 2d,
Abraham Butler ; 3d, Ella Ketchum.
Intermediate Department 1st Class,
1st Division, Wilkie Duniway ; 2d, Miss
Mary Parker and Wm. Stanard. 2d
Class, 1st Division, Philip Lowe ; 2d
Vellie Hackleman. -
Mental Arithmetic, Wilkie Duniway.
Geography No. 3, Wilkie Duniway.
Geography, No. 2, Philip Lowe and Chas.
Powers. Geography, No. 1, Willie
Primary Department 1st Division,
Emma Bryant ; 2d, Bertie Parton ; 3d,
Olive Culver.
The New IIotel. We are informed
that the new hotel building just com
pleted by Messrs. Ilouck & Myer, on
corner of Washington and First streets,
in this city, has been taken and will be
opened for the reception of guests about
the first of February next. The gen
tleman who intends doing the honors,
Mr. II. Brenner, is an old and success--ful
landlord, having been long engaged
in the business in Portlacd, and we arc
satisfied that the hotel under his man
agement will be a complete success.
Success to him.
New Stock. Mr. John Briggs went
below the first of the week to lay in a
new stock of stoves, tinware,, etc., etc.
Next week the public are invited to call
and take a look at his new purchases,
among which will be found novelties in
the line of kitchen-ware that will espe
cially please the ladies.
Wasn't "on it." The Directors of
the Linn County Agricultural Associa
tion held a special meeting at the Court
House on Saturday morning 8th inst.
at which the proposition to donate $500
to the Ilolladay railroad fund was nega
tived. And that's what's the matter.
Focrtii Term. The fourth term of
the District school, under the charge of
Mr. Thos. G. Taylor, opened on Monday,
January 10th, with one hundred and
seven pupils. As a teacher Mr. Taylor
is winning golden opinions.
The Herald' Astoria correspondent
gives the following : Two brothers, Da
vid and John Upton, the latter about 19
years of age, were out in a canoe, when
by some unguarded movement the boat
upset. Both were precipitated into the
water, and upon coming to the surface,
caught hold of the canoe. David was an
expert swimmer, and ' towed the canoe
to the shore. Both young men succeed
ed in crawling to land, bnt were so chilled
as to almost immediately become uncon
scious. David continued unconscious
about three hours, and when he came to
himself, he found his brother was breath
ing his last. There were no inhabitants
in their vicinity, and David was so ex
hausted he could do little or nothing for
his dying brother.
Fire. On the afternoon of the 8th
inst., some children playing with matches
in the store-room of the Cosmopolitan
Hotel, Portland, set the room on fire.
By careful management the flames wero
subdued without the interference of the
fire department, with no great loss. The
principal loser was Dan. Lowell, the
bookkeeper, whose wife lost about $400
worth of wardrobe. So says the Herald.
Evening 'Tribune. We omitted to
mention the reception of the Daily
Evening Tribune, published in San Fran
cisco by J. Stratman & Co. It is a neat
seven column daily, offered at 12i cents
per week, or $5 per annum by mail.
A Pile. Ben. Ilolladay is said to
have expended $700,000 in constructing
the first twenty miles of the , Oregon
Central Railroad (East Side), the greater
proportion of which was expended in
, California. The Sacrmentocc pre
dicts that California State and county
raxes for 1870 will be $3 14 on the
According to the Evangel, the Baptist
Church of, Oakland (Cal.), increases but
slowly, the great drawback being the
scarcity of .water. : e-- "r " ii?yZ
! fA company at North Bend , intend
building a flat bottomed steamer for gen
eral ttse on the Bay and Coos river, to
cost five or six thousand dollars.
; , State Convention. The Democrat
ic State Convention will be held in this
city,' on Wednesday, the 23d day of
March, 1870.
Eyes Open "
"Our minister said in his sermon last
evening," said Mrs. Beach, the wife of a
prosperous wholesale dry goods merchant,
on Market street, as she dusted her man
tel of porcelain and marble on Monday
morning, "that he who wanted to be good
must be on the constant lookout for op
portunities ; that God does not find our
work, and bring it ready fitted and pre
pared for our hands ; but he spreads the
world before us, and we are to work
through it as Christ and the Apostles
did, with eyes open, looking for the sick
and suffering, the poor and oppressed."
"Now lam certain," continued the
lady, as she replaced a marble Diana in
the center of the mantel. "I should like
to do some good every day one feels so
much better when they go to rest at
night; and I'll just keep soy eyes open
to-day, and see if I come across any op
portunities that under ordinary -circumstances
1 should let Blip."
Half on hour later Mrs. Beach was in
the nursery with the washerwoman, who
had come for the clothes.
"I wish, Mrs. Simms," said she, as she
heaped the soiled linen into the basket,
"that you would get Tommy's aprons
ready for me by Wednesday ; we are
going out of town to remain until Satur
day, and I shall want a good supply on
hand for such a careless little scamp as
he is."
"Well, I'll try, ma'am," said the wash
erwoman, "I've got behind hand a good
deal since Sammy got the whooping
cough ; but now he is better, I must try
to make up for lost time."
"Has he had the whooping-cough?
Poor little fellow. How old is he?"
questioned the lady.
"He was three last April, ma'am."
"And Tom is four," mused the lady.
"Look here, Mrs. Simms, won't you just
open the lower drawer of that bureau,
and take out those four worsted dresses
in the corner. Tom's outgrown them,
you see, since last winter, but they're al
most as good as new. Now, if you want
them for litile Sammy, they'll do nicely
without altering, I think." - I
"Want them, Mrs. Beach I" answered
the washerwoman, with tears starting
into her dim eyes "I haven't any words
to thank you, or to tell you what a treas
ure they'll be. Why, they will keep the
little fellow as warm as toast all winter."
"Well, I'll place them on the top of
the clothes," said the lady, smiling to
herself as she thought, "my eyes have
been open once to-day."
Not long afterwards Mrs. Beach was
on her way to market, (for she was a
notable housekeeper,) when she met a
boy who lived in her family the year be
fore, to go errands, wait on the door, etc.
He was a bright, good-hearted, merry
faced boy, aod had been a great favorite
with the family, and Mrs. Beach had be
come interested in him ; but this morn
ing she was in quite a hurry, and would
have passed the child with a cordial but
hasty "How are you, Joseph, my boy ?
Do come and see us," had it not struck
her that Joseph's face did not bear its
usual happy expression. She paused as
the memory of last night's sermon flashed
through, and she asked, "Is anything the
matter with you, J oseph ?"
The boy looked up for a moment, with
a half-confiding expression, into the lady's
face, the latter triumphed. "Mr. Ander
son's moved out of town," he said ; push
ing back his worn but neatly brushed
cap from his hair ; "so I've lost my
place, and little Mary's sick, and that
makes it very bad just now."
"So it does," . answered Mrs. Beach,
her sympathies warmly enlisted. "But
never mind, Joseph ; I remember, only
night before last, my brother said he
should want a new errand boy in a few
days, for his store, and he'd give a good
one $2 a week. Now, I'll see him to
day, and get the situation for you if you
The boy's white face brightened.
" Oh ! 1 1 should be so glad of it, Mrs.
"And see here, Joseph, I'm going to
market, and perhaps I can find something
nice tor little Mary." The lady remem
bered that Joseph's mother, though a
poor seamstress, was a very proud wom
an, and felt that this would be a delicate
way ot presenting her gift. . ,
So she found some delicate pears and
grapes, and a nice chicken to make some
broth for Mary, who, as she learned, was
ill with a fever, before she proceeded to
do her own marketing. But it was a
pity the lady did not see Joseph, as he
sprang into the chamber,' where little
Mary lay wearily moaning on her bed,
while her mother sat busily stitching in
one corner, and held up the chicken and
fruit, crying, "Good news ! "good news !
I've got all these nice things for Mary,
and a place at two dollars a week !"
O ! how little Mary's hot fingers closed
over the bunches of white grapes, while
the sewing dropped from the mother's
fingers, as the tears ran down her cheeks.
It was evening, and Mrs. Beach sat in
the library, absorbed in some new book,
when she heard her husband's step in
the hall. Though the morning had been
so pleasant, the afternoon was cloudy,
and the day had gone down in a low, sul
len, penetrating rain. -:
Now Mrs. Beach loved her husband
with the love of a true wife ; but he was
not a demonstrative man, and the first
toeimty and poetry of their married life
had settled down into ' a somewhat bare,
matter-of-fact existence. -But her heart
was warm to-night warm with the good
deeds of the day, and remembering her
resolution of the morning, she threw
down her book and ran down stairs.
"Henry,' dear,? laid the soft . voice of
his wife, "has the rain wet yoa at all ?
Let me take off your cost for you."
"Thank you, Mary, I - don't believe
I'm anywise injured, but you may help
me just for the pleasure of it." And he
1 stood still, while she removed the heavy
coat with all toe old lover tenderness.
"You are very, thoughtful of me,
Mary, my wife," he said.
And there was music in Mrs. Beach's
heart as she went np stairs music set
to the words, "Eyes open I eyes open I"
A Burlesque on tbe Vanderbllt Bronze.
Wall street can do something well be
sides speculate, and that was clearly
evinced to-day in the gushing admiration
which overflowed the Stock Exchange
for the wonderful talents of the great
Railway King, Commodore Yanderbilt.
The brokers assembled at the "Stock Ex
change at 12:30 p. M., and went
through an elaborate burlesque oer-1
emoniai, wnicn meycauea lue -unveiling
of the Stattoo." The ceremony
tool, place in the gallery of the Ixjog
Room, and was witnessed by at least 300
brokers. The master of ceremonies (in
black suit, white vest, white kid gloves,
and other Delmonicon accessories to a
full dress toilet) took his station near tbe
"Stattoo," while around him were the
choristers -also in black the orator of
the day, the reader of the ode, and other
participants. At exactly half-past 12
o'clock p. M. the ceremony commenced.
The Chairman was about commencing
his address, when a cabbage was passed
up to him, and he bowed his acknowl
edgments for the rare bouquet. The ad
dress was short, but sweet, and did full
justice to the great claims of the Commo
dore on the public.
As he finished, an "injunction" in the
name of the United States and Buenos
Ayres, and the Supreme Court, was read,
but the reader was marched off the gal
lery amid immense confusion. -The Sec
retary read several letters from parties
who had failed to be present "on account
of severe losses in Central," and the Chair
roared forth a song to the tune of John
Brown, expressive of the great services
of Commodore Yanderbilt to the public
and to the brokers. j
A gentleman Monsieur Black, the
Chairman called him then delivered an
address, in which he alluded with great
humor and e fleet to the watering opera
tions of Commodore Yanderbilt, who was
originally a waterman, and had made
water the "Central" idea 'of his life.
Formerly, men had been made to see
double by other liquids besides water,
but the Commodore had made the grand
discovery that water, simple and pure, in
the hands of a financial genius, posses?ed
the extraordinary power not only of mak
ing one see a thing double, but also of
making the thing itself double. Roars
of applause and deafening enthusiasm.
At this point a shawl which had con
cealed the statue was withdrawn, and a
sight greeted the eyes of the multitude
which was well calculated to make them
"cry with laughter." -
There was a huge white draped form,
whose face, with lolling tongue and pro
truding eyes, looked like that of an
idiot. The left arm was folded over the
breast, and in the right hand, which was
encased in a boxing-glove, bearing upon
its front the consolidation figures of Cen
tral, which nobody needs to be told are
207. The sight was greeted with lond
shouts of laughter and applause, which
continued for many minutes. To close
the ceremonies, the chorns sang "My
Country, 'tis of Thee," with a chorns
setting forth that he (the Commodore)
"is a jolly good fellow, which nobody ean
deny." As this assertion was repeated
many times, and nobody did deny it, it is
to be concluded that he it "a jolly good
The following is the ode sung on the
occasion :
Come ail ye jolly brokers, a story 111 relate
About a famous Commodore, who live in New
York State.
Consolidated railroads are a thing he never hates.
Chorus As be goes driving on. .
His watering machinery as yet has never failed.
And to show our gratitude to him this statue's
now unveiled. .
Before Jim Ftsk, Jay Oould & Co. his courage
never failed.
Chorus As he goes driving on. -,
This statue we set up for him, and may it last
Th very poor old Commodore his breeches pock
et's fill,
And when he dies well surely find that, with an
earnest will.
Chorus He must go driving on.
Mr. E. H. Van Schaick was the Presi
dent and master of the ceremonies, and
Mr. S. Y. White was the speaker or ora
tor at the uu veiling. Wall street has not
for many a long day witnessed so much
merriment as during this Stock Exchange
unveiling operation. JVete YorkExprets,
November 10.
A Spdnkt Girl. An exchange
gives the following : "Annie James, of
Alton, 111., is described as the most beau
tiful girl that ever found lodgment on
the Mississippi river. She .has an eye
like a gazelle ; teeth like the purest
ivory ; hair like a vexed mass of golden
feathers; hands so white and shapely
that to see them is to want to kiss them,
and to kiss them is destruction ; a smile
like a summer's sunrise, and a laugh like
the tones of silver bells on a frosty night,
Well, this is what Annie did : She came
down from her room and found two of
her lovers noisily disputing as to their
respective claims to her company to a
ball that evening. The anger f the
beautiful maiden was aroused at this ex
hibition in her father's halls, and, seizing
the belligerent youths by their back hair,
she knocked their heads together' with
great force half a dozen times, and then
thrust them out of the front door, with
the admonition never to show their faces
there again. ' vy: ..
A member of a church in Vermont, de
scribing ",aman from" the Lord," prayed
in this wise : " Send us not an old man
in his dotage, not. a young man in his
goslinghood, bnt a man with all the mod
ern improvements."
v . VARIOUS ' ITEMS. ,e C .
Burglars advertisement Goods care
fully removed. ' '
It is a mistake to suppose the. sun i
supported by its beams. " a T
What is the greatest want of the age t
Wantof fundW " , ' ' . ; : '
The public sinsrer that " draws" the
best A mosquito. '':'" -";''; -i'
A tale of thrilling interest- the rattle
rni ' . . " -, w rr-
luere ir twencv-seven miies m onn
wire in the Fifth Avenue Hotel.
The State Etomoloaist of Illinois is
known in that section as the " Bugmaster
General.". -, j ; ' ! t
Money I" replied the steward. " vott
preach for money' I , I thought- yev
preacneu tor tbe good of souls V
Chicago has spent- ten millions and
put up twenty-five hundred buildings
this year.. ;.s ..-J. , ; , , . ,
In Altoona, Penn., the Council ' will
not allow any female under, twenty-one -years
of age to appear on the stage, j 1
Carrying umbrellas with a dagger in
the handle is one of the pleasures of
life in Rome, which the police try to
suppress. ! f , , , .
The smallest of the seven Misses CoU
lins, of Claiborne county, Tenn., weighs
two hundred and forty pounds.
One of the Revolutionary widows in
Main who receives: pensions, is a hale
colored lady nearly: 100 years old.
- A woman in Conneticut bet ten dollar
against a weeks' board that she could eat
a bushel of roasted oysters. She won
the wager. 'jj'.
- Harrisburgh has a female revenue de
tective, and she employs her time in look
ing up illicit distilleries. .,,
A pair of twin were recently born on a
Pennsylvania railroad train. The mother
said it always made hersick to ride on
the cars. . ,' i ' '
A daughter of Prof. Agassiz is in the
insane asylum at Somerville, Mass., a
monomaniac. ' - - i ' .
"Souls T'replied the minister, " I can't
eat souls, and if I could, it would take a
thousand such as yours to make a decent
meai.".;. ;; i ; ; " '
"An acquaintance says he never has any
trouble to " lay in" his Coal he always
does that when he takes too much Bour
bon and falls into the cellar.
" Muggins, " what era in the world's
history do yon' regard - with the deepest
horror T" - The chol era I gasped
Muggins, with a. spasmodic shndder.
Why should the sea make a better
housekeeper than the earth ! . Because
the earth is exceedingly dirty, and the
sea is very tidey. - '
It is said that petitions are going
up to the Pennsylvania Legislature, pray
ing them to re-enact tbe len command
ments - '- i " ' ! "',', ,'
John Morrissey ! has been to hear
Beacher preach and he says he never
saw a man " get the devil's head , in
chancery so quick in all his life."
; An old lady was admiring the beauti
ful picture called Saved." " It's no
wonder," said she, " the poor child faint
ed, after pulling that great dog out of
the water." . , -:; .h
A K ntnrVv nnirirnaliafc Mllldn't tISV
twenty-five dollars tax foe street improve
ments, and so took himself to the Sum
mer Land (where nobody pays taxes) by
cutting his throat.
Detroit is shocked at the fact that a
lady of refinement and education, highly
connected in Windsor, was found iu its
streets, in a state of stupid intoxication.
Women are to be admitted to the privr
ileges of Eton, a fact upon which the
London Daily Nine remarks is an evi
dence of the advancing' spirit of the
age. : j .
The San Francisco Examiner advises
the Legislature to forbear in the passage
ot anti-Mongolian bills, beleiving that
the Fifteenth Amendment is sure to pass,
and oppressive State measures may in
duce Congress to make voters of Chinese
residents. That will be apt to settle the
Chinese agitation for the present
Business. There is a good deal of
talk in Philadelphia anions; the brokers
about a certain fast young man whose
father is overburdened with millions. ,-
Tbe young man would not work, and
the old man could not bear an idler, and
many wero the quarrels between them.
At last the old man, quite out of pa
tience, said: ,
. "Now, Jack, I give yon one. week to
make up your mind to what business you
are to go in. No son of mine shall be a
lounger, and go , to work you shall. At
the end of this week, if yon have made
no choice, I will stop your allowance al
together, and make you take : stool in
my office; and work enough you11 have
it there." . ., V , , .
Well, Jack promised to look around
and make up his mind. ' ' ' v :
At the end of the 'week sharp and
peremptory as was his way iaa oia pro-
ker sang out ; ..SY
"Well. Jack; time's up; have you
made up your mind to make your ' own
living?" ytr.'i, y -fff P-
v" WelL father, I've been , thinking of
it, and have something in my mind, bat
it will require considerable capital." ' ,
"Capital, Jack 1 capital, myboyl" said
the delighted fetter. "Only:try to
make your own living, and I'll nay yoa
a National Bank or a line of steamer I
What is it, J aek i nai w .-
"Well, father! was think irig that If
Joa would i onJyjvance me three or fonr
undred thousand dollars, I could invest
it in Government bonds, and make my
living by cntting off the coupons ' .. .
. The old man never talks to Jack any
more about ''business' .