VOL. 2. ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, JANUARY 15, 1870. NO. 19. PtTBLlBBSB ITBKT ATCDAT ST , COLL. VAUCLEVE. ernes ob coisit or fbbbt abd fibst-sts. TERMS IN ADVANCE. fliTr... .....Three Dollar 8i Month! Two Dollar Blngle Copies Tn Cent ADVERTISING RATES. Transient advertisement, rer Square of tea liaea or less, first insertion, $3 ; each subsequent insertion, $1. Larger advertisements insurted on the most liberal terms. JOB WORK. Having received new type, stock of colored lake, cards, a Gordon Jobber, etc., we are pre pa ed to execute all kinds of printing in a better manner and fifty per cent, cheaper than aver be fore offered in this eity . - , Agents for the Register. The following gentlemen are authorized to re ceive and receipt for si&scription, advertising, etc., for the Register : HIRAM SMITH. Esq narrisburg. Jud(te S. II . CLXCGHTON Lebanon. PETER HUME. Esq ..Brownsville W. R. KIRK. Esq E. E. WHEELER. Eq Scio. T. II. REYNOLDS, Esq Salem. tiso. W. CANNON, Esq Portland. L. P. FISHER, Esq 'Frisco. BUSINESS CARDS. A. WHEELER, Notary Public. BROWNSVILLE. OREGON. LEGAL INSTRUMENTS OF ALL KINDS made and attested. Conveyances and col lections attended to. 12'G'J J. IIAITOOJT, Attorney and Counsellor at Law, ALBANY, OREGON. FFICE On Main street, opposito Foster's Brick. Hiltabidel & Co., DEALERS IN GROCERIES AND PRO risions. Wood and Willow Ware, Confec tionery, Tobacco, Cigars, Pipes. Notions, etc. ... " . .... . . T. iH A 11 .... .Mill street, aujuining me express maro, Oregon. I o E. A. Freeland, DEALER IN EVERT DESCRIPTION OF School, Miscellaneous and Blank Books, Stationery. old and Steel Pens, Ink, etc.. Post office Building. Albany. Oregon. Books ordered from New York and San Francisco. 1 S- H. Claughton, NOTARY PUBLIC AND REAL ESTATE AGENT. Office in the Post Office building, Lebanon, Oregon. Will attend to making Deeds and other convey ances, also to the prompt collection of debts en trusted to my care. I J. U. JflTCHEI-L. J. B. noLPB. A. SHITS. : Mitchell, Dolph & Smith, ATTORNEYS Ao COUNSELLORS at LAW, Solicitors in Chancery and Proctors in Ad miralty. Office over the old Post Office, Front street, Portland. Oregon. I powbll. L. rim. Powell &- Flinn, ATTORNEYS A COUNSELLORS AT LAW and Solicitors in Chancery, (I. Flinn, Notary Public,) Albany, Oregon. Collections and conveyances prompty attended to. 1 J. QUINT? THORNTON, Attorney and Counselor at Law ALBANY, OREGON. WILL practice in the superior and Inferior courts of Marion, Linn, Lane, Benton and Polk "counties. Five per cent, charged on collections when made without sueing. j 10-69 r. m. r tOPIKLI). p. W. RPIBC. P. M REDFIELD A CO., CONSTANTLY on hand and receiving, a large stock of Groceries and Previsions, Wood and Willow Ware, Tobacco, Cigars, Con fectionery, Yankee Notions, Ac. fce.,' Wholesale and Retail, opposite R. C. Hill A Son's drug tore, Albany, Oregon. 5oct9 W KNIGHT, lltuse, Siga & Carriage Painter, ALBANY, OREGON. Faperhaaging', C lazing-, Kalsomine, &c. . ft. Country orders punctually attended to. First street, aest door to Tweedale A Co.'s. May , l99-35tf A I. II A IVY' RATH HOUSE. THE UNDERSIGNED WOULD RESPECT fully inform the citizens of Albany and vi cinity that be has taken charge of this establish ment, and, by keeping clean rooms and paying strict attntk 3 to business, expects to suit all those who may favor him with their patronage. Having heretofore carried oa nothing bnt first-Class Hair Dressing- Saloons, he expec's to give entire satisfaction to all. ,Par' Children and Ladies' hair neatly cut and shampooed. JOSEPH WEBBER. . , . sev!9j-2 Ej F. RUSSELL, ATTOBBBT AT LAW. JAMES ELKINS, BOTABT PUBLIC. RUSSELL & ELKINS, (Office in Parrish A Co.', block. First street,) Albany, Oregon. SAVING TAKEN INTO CO-PARTNERSHIP James Elkihs, Esq., ex-Clerk of county, we are enabled to add to our prac tice of Law and Collection, superior facilities for Conveyancing, Examining Records, and attending to Probate business. Deeds, Bonds, Contracts and Mortgages care fully drawn. ' Homestead and Pre-emption Papers made, and claims secured. Sale of Real Estate negotiated, and loans effected ea collateral securities on reasonable rate. All bsiness entrusted to them faithfully and promptly executed. RUSSELL A ELKINS. . Albany, Oct. 10, '68-Sy Estate ef Joan Weihol, deceased. .TToiios is hereby given that the undersigned Fj has been appointed Administrator of the above estate, by order of the County Court of Linn county. AH persons having claims against aid estate must present tbe same to thd under signed, duly attested, with in six months from this date, at bis residence oa Oak creek, eight miles oath east from Albany, Oregon. JOHN B. MILLER, Ada. Oct. 11, I89.I4 Rrtsaxi. Exits. Attys. PORTLAND CARDS. S. D. SMITH. .. . . SBO. B. COOK. THE OCCIDENTAL, FORMERLY Western Hotel, Corner First and Morrison streets, Portland, Oregon. Messrs. SMITH A COOK have taken this well known house, refitted and refurnished it throughout, built a large addition, making thirty more pleasant rooms, enlarged the Dining and Sitting rooms, making it by far the Best Hotel in Portland. A call from the traveling public will satisfy them that the above statements are true. SMITH A COOK, Props. N. B. Hot and cold Baths attached to the house for tbe benefit of guests. SO Portland, August 15th, 1869. AMERICAN EXCHANGE, COKVBB OP . Front and ' Washington Streets, PORTLAND, OREGON. .. P. W. Qnimby, ... - Proprietor. (Late of the AVestern Hotel.) THIS HOUSE is the most commodious in the State, newly furnished, and it will be ths endeavor of the Proprietor to make his gueste comfortable. Nearest Hotel to tbe steamboat landing. THif The Concord Coach will always be four at the landing, on the arrival of steamships ac river boats, carrying passengers and tbeir bac--gagre to and from the boats free of charge. House snjplied vtth J'utent Fire Extinguishers. COSMOPOLITAN HOTEL. (rOBMEBLT ARRIGOKl's,) Front street : : : Portland, Oregon. THE UNDERSIGNED; HAVING PUR chased this well known Hotel, are now pre pared to offer the traveling public better accom modations than can be found elsewhere in the city. Board and Lodging 2 OO per da). The Hotel Coach wi!t be in attendance to con vey Passengers and bitgage to and from the Hotel free of eharye. J. B. SPRENGER. Office Oregon A California Stage Company, B. G. WniTEnorsE. Agent. 2tf New Columbian Hotel, Nos. 11S, 120 and 122 Front street, PORTLAND, i OREGON ED. CARNEY, PROPRIETOR. The Largest, Best and most Convenient Hotel in Portland! Located in the center of business and near all the steamboat landings. Board and Lodging- From one to two dollars per day according to tbe room occupied. TiflP" Rooms newly furnished and well ventil ated. Superior accommodations for families. f The New Columbian Hotel Coach will be in attendance at all the landings to convey pas sengers and baggage to and from this Hotel 17 jSf- Free ot Charge ! 69 NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. MRS. DUNNIWAY TAKES PLEASURE IN INFORMING HER numerous patrons that she has on hand, and is in regular receipt of the Latest and Choicest Styles of Goods THE TVT1 111n ery Xslne 2 REMEBER, LADIES ! If you purchase TEN DOLLARS' WORTH of Fall Millinery you will bo entitled to the Demorest lapfaxine, for the year 1869, as a premium on the purchase Dress and Cloak making- in all branches. Bleaching- and Pressing- in the latest and best manner. Goods Cheap and Patience Inexhaustible Corner Main and Broad Albin streets, ALBANY, OREGON. November 7, 1868-9 C. MEALEY DEALER IN A MANUFACTURER OF FTJH.N-ITITB.E! and CABINET WARE! T3ecldingr, Etc., orn er First and Broad Albin streets, .-, ALBANY, OREGON. gT PARTICULAR ATTEBTIOH PAID TO tfeSi ORDERS OF ALL KINDS in his lino. October " 1868-8 rVRNINO. - - TURNIN. a H o a i S3 oa m a w f m I AB PBBPABBD TO DO - ALL KINDS OF TURNING 1 I kerp on hand and make to order RAWHIDES OTTO MED CBAZRS, ABD . 8f laiiar Wheels Shop near the "Magnolia Hills." JOHN M. METZLER Albany, Kot. 28, 1868-13 LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS. Accomplished. We are pleased to be enabled to inform our readers and the "rest of mankind," that the fifty thous and dollars required of this city, by Ben. Ilolladay, to insure the building of the Oregon Central Railroad (East Side) through the city of Albany, has been subscribed $25,000 in land and nearly 826,000 in money. It required an ener getic effort, for times are hard and money scarce ; but we have in our midst men who possess the true stamp, the right kind of metal ; and when it became evi dent to them that unless the proposition was . complied with, Albany would have do railroad, they ''went for that fifty thousand" with a energy and determi nation that always brings success. This community owe to the gentlemen who took the lead in bringing this matter to a success ful conclusion, at least a unanimous vote of thanks. With the railroad completed to Albany, her future is secure; without the railroad it takes no prophetic vision to foretell her sure decay. Albany should not forget, either, that she has friends in Linn, and even in Benton county, who came forward in her time of trouble and nobly aided, with gold, her efforts to se cure the prize. Let us in the future re member our frieuds, and let the mistakes of the past teach us to act more in unison in all enterprises which are intended for the benefit of the whole community. We will live more harmoniously, thrive bet ter, and feel more like freo born Ameri can citizens should feel and act toward one another. Broom Factory. A large supply of broom straw, and all the fixtures and material necessary for the manufacture of brooms, arrived at Messrs. Beach & Montieth's wharf in this city on Satur day, for Mr. Belden. This gentleman will commence manufacturing this much needed article immediately, and as he is thoroughly acquainted with the business, a good article in the broom line will soon be offered right here at home, at as reas onable rates as an imported article. Of course it is to- the interest of our citizens to give this manufactory a liberal sup port. It is not necessary for us to give reasons why all useful enterprises of this character should be fostered by us they are patent to every one. At present the material used in the manufactory will have to be purchased in California. This need not be the case another season, however, as Mr. Belden has or will soon receive a supply of seed, which he will furnish to those of our farmers who wish to engage in the production of broom corn. Again we say, success to the enterprise. A Good Thing. We notice that Messrs. O. P. Tompkins & Co., the gen tlemanly stove dealers in this city, are getting up, among other novelties, "gal vanised iron wash tubs," an article that strikes us as being just the thing the ladies have been looking for. The ad vantages these tubs have ever those made of wood are obvious. They will not rust ; they are, if anything, lighter ; if left in the sun they don't fall to pieces like those made of wood, and if properly cared for they will last a lifetime. In possession of one or more of these tubs you are fixed for life are at no mere expense for tubs. At the above mentioned place you will find a scpre or more novelties, all "handy to have in the house and even if you don't want to buy, you should call and take a look at the various neat and hand some articles made especially to save labor and to ornament the kitchen, dining room and parlor. Bridge Talk. The want of a bridge across the South Fork of the Santiam, in the vicinity of Lebanon is being can vassed by residents along that stream with ronewed interest of late. It is stated to us that during seasons of high water ot very boisterous weather, it is impossible to cross at the ferry, and the residents thereabouts are compelled to wait the subsidence of the waters, at times, too, as in the case of sickness, when a few hours may prove fatal. ' In case a bridge should be built, a good, strong, Substantial structure should be erected, that would stand the heaviest freshet. A bridge of this character would not cost less, probably, than from $8,000 to $10,000. It is believed that half, at least, of this amount could be raised by subscription in the vicinity. Missoula Gold ; Discovery. The new ' discovery, says 1 the Walla Walla Statesman, on the Missoula, has caused quite an excitement in that city, and some twenty persons have fitted oat and started for the new diggings. Latest ac counts state that the mines are richer than at first reported, and all agree in pronouncing the new gold fields as the most promising ever discovered in the Northern country. Who Gained the Premiums. We have been furnished, by the Principal of the District School, Mr. Thomas G. Taylor, with the names of those who have gained premiums for excelling in their studies during the term ending Jan. 8th, 1870: Higher Department 1st Class 1st Division, C. C. Pennington ; 2d, Miss Icedora Bringham; 3d, Miss. Maggie Webber and Anna Parker. 2d Class, 1st Division, Miss Florence Nixon ; 2d, Abraham Butler ; 3d, Ella Ketchum. Intermediate Department 1st Class, 1st Division, Wilkie Duniway ; 2d, Miss Mary Parker and Wm. Stanard. 2d Class, 1st Division, Philip Lowe ; 2d Vellie Hackleman. - Mental Arithmetic, Wilkie Duniway. Geography No. 3, Wilkie Duniway. Geography, No. 2, Philip Lowe and Chas. Powers. Geography, No. 1, Willie Westfal. Primary Department 1st Division, Emma Bryant ; 2d, Bertie Parton ; 3d, Olive Culver. The New IIotel. We are informed that the new hotel building just com pleted by Messrs. Ilouck & Myer, on corner of Washington and First streets, in this city, has been taken and will be opened for the reception of guests about the first of February next. The gen tleman who intends doing the honors, Mr. II. Brenner, is an old and success--ful landlord, having been long engaged in the business in Portlacd, and we arc satisfied that the hotel under his man agement will be a complete success. Success to him. New Stock. Mr. John Briggs went below the first of the week to lay in a new stock of stoves, tinware,, etc., etc. Next week the public are invited to call and take a look at his new purchases, among which will be found novelties in the line of kitchen-ware that will espe cially please the ladies. Wasn't "on it." The Directors of the Linn County Agricultural Associa tion held a special meeting at the Court House on Saturday morning 8th inst. at which the proposition to donate $500 to the Ilolladay railroad fund was nega tived. And that's what's the matter. Focrtii Term. The fourth term of the District school, under the charge of Mr. Thos. G. Taylor, opened on Monday, January 10th, with one hundred and seven pupils. As a teacher Mr. Taylor is winning golden opinions. The Herald' Astoria correspondent gives the following : Two brothers, Da vid and John Upton, the latter about 19 years of age, were out in a canoe, when by some unguarded movement the boat upset. Both were precipitated into the water, and upon coming to the surface, caught hold of the canoe. David was an expert swimmer, and ' towed the canoe to the shore. Both young men succeed ed in crawling to land, bnt were so chilled as to almost immediately become uncon scious. David continued unconscious about three hours, and when he came to himself, he found his brother was breath ing his last. There were no inhabitants in their vicinity, and David was so ex hausted he could do little or nothing for his dying brother. Fire. On the afternoon of the 8th inst., some children playing with matches in the store-room of the Cosmopolitan Hotel, Portland, set the room on fire. By careful management the flames wero subdued without the interference of the fire department, with no great loss. The principal loser was Dan. Lowell, the bookkeeper, whose wife lost about $400 worth of wardrobe. So says the Herald. Evening 'Tribune. We omitted to mention the reception of the Daily Evening Tribune, published in San Fran cisco by J. Stratman & Co. It is a neat seven column daily, offered at 12i cents per week, or $5 per annum by mail. A Pile. Ben. Ilolladay is said to have expended $700,000 in constructing the first twenty miles of the , Oregon Central Railroad (East Side), the greater proportion of which was expended in Oregon. , California. The Sacrmentocc pre dicts that California State and county raxes for 1870 will be $3 14 on the hundred. According to the Evangel, the Baptist Church of, Oakland (Cal.), increases but slowly, the great drawback being the scarcity of .water. : e-- "r " ii?yZ ! fA company at North Bend , intend building a flat bottomed steamer for gen eral ttse on the Bay and Coos river, to cost five or six thousand dollars. ; , State Convention. The Democrat ic State Convention will be held in this city,' on Wednesday, the 23d day of March, 1870. Eyes Open " "Our minister said in his sermon last evening," said Mrs. Beach, the wife of a prosperous wholesale dry goods merchant, on Market street, as she dusted her man tel of porcelain and marble on Monday morning, "that he who wanted to be good must be on the constant lookout for op portunities ; that God does not find our work, and bring it ready fitted and pre pared for our hands ; but he spreads the world before us, and we are to work through it as Christ and the Apostles did, with eyes open, looking for the sick and suffering, the poor and oppressed." "Now lam certain," continued the lady, as she replaced a marble Diana in the center of the mantel. "I should like to do some good every day one feels so much better when they go to rest at night; and I'll just keep soy eyes open to-day, and see if I come across any op portunities that under ordinary -circumstances 1 should let Blip." Half on hour later Mrs. Beach was in the nursery with the washerwoman, who had come for the clothes. "I wish, Mrs. Simms," said she, as she heaped the soiled linen into the basket, "that you would get Tommy's aprons ready for me by Wednesday ; we are going out of town to remain until Satur day, and I shall want a good supply on hand for such a careless little scamp as he is." "Well, I'll try, ma'am," said the wash erwoman, "I've got behind hand a good deal since Sammy got the whooping cough ; but now he is better, I must try to make up for lost time." "Has he had the whooping-cough? Poor little fellow. How old is he?" questioned the lady. "He was three last April, ma'am." "And Tom is four," mused the lady. "Look here, Mrs. Simms, won't you just open the lower drawer of that bureau, and take out those four worsted dresses in the corner. Tom's outgrown them, you see, since last winter, but they're al most as good as new. Now, if you want them for litile Sammy, they'll do nicely without altering, I think." - I "Want them, Mrs. Beach I" answered the washerwoman, with tears starting into her dim eyes "I haven't any words to thank you, or to tell you what a treas ure they'll be. Why, they will keep the little fellow as warm as toast all winter." "Well, I'll place them on the top of the clothes," said the lady, smiling to herself as she thought, "my eyes have been open once to-day." Not long afterwards Mrs. Beach was on her way to market, (for she was a notable housekeeper,) when she met a boy who lived in her family the year be fore, to go errands, wait on the door, etc. He was a bright, good-hearted, merry faced boy, aod had been a great favorite with the family, and Mrs. Beach had be come interested in him ; but this morn ing she was in quite a hurry, and would have passed the child with a cordial but hasty "How are you, Joseph, my boy ? Do come and see us," had it not struck her that Joseph's face did not bear its usual happy expression. She paused as the memory of last night's sermon flashed through, and she asked, "Is anything the matter with you, J oseph ?" The boy looked up for a moment, with a half-confiding expression, into the lady's face, the latter triumphed. "Mr. Ander son's moved out of town," he said ; push ing back his worn but neatly brushed cap from his hair ; "so I've lost my place, and little Mary's sick, and that makes it very bad just now." "So it does," . answered Mrs. Beach, her sympathies warmly enlisted. "But never mind, Joseph ; I remember, only night before last, my brother said he should want a new errand boy in a few days, for his store, and he'd give a good one $2 a week. Now, I'll see him to day, and get the situation for you if you like." The boy's white face brightened. " Oh ! 1 1 should be so glad of it, Mrs. Beach." "And see here, Joseph, I'm going to market, and perhaps I can find something nice tor little Mary." The lady remem bered that Joseph's mother, though a poor seamstress, was a very proud wom an, and felt that this would be a delicate way ot presenting her gift. . , So she found some delicate pears and grapes, and a nice chicken to make some broth for Mary, who, as she learned, was ill with a fever, before she proceeded to do her own marketing. But it was a pity the lady did not see Joseph, as he sprang into the chamber,' where little Mary lay wearily moaning on her bed, while her mother sat busily stitching in one corner, and held up the chicken and fruit, crying, "Good news ! "good news ! I've got all these nice things for Mary, and a place at two dollars a week !" O ! how little Mary's hot fingers closed over the bunches of white grapes, while the sewing dropped from the mother's fingers, as the tears ran down her cheeks. It was evening, and Mrs. Beach sat in the library, absorbed in some new book, when she heard her husband's step in the hall. Though the morning had been so pleasant, the afternoon was cloudy, and the day had gone down in a low, sul len, penetrating rain. -: Now Mrs. Beach loved her husband with the love of a true wife ; but he was not a demonstrative man, and the first toeimty and poetry of their married life had settled down into ' a somewhat bare, matter-of-fact existence. -But her heart was warm to-night warm with the good deeds of the day, and remembering her resolution of the morning, she threw down her book and ran down stairs. "Henry,' dear,? laid the soft . voice of his wife, "has the rain wet yoa at all ? Let me take off your cost for you." "Thank you, Mary, I - don't believe I'm anywise injured, but you may help me just for the pleasure of it." And he 1 stood still, while she removed the heavy coat with all toe old lover tenderness. "You are very, thoughtful of me, Mary, my wife," he said. And there was music in Mrs. Beach's heart as she went np stairs music set to the words, "Eyes open I eyes open I" A Burlesque on tbe Vanderbllt Bronze. Wall street can do something well be sides speculate, and that was clearly evinced to-day in the gushing admiration which overflowed the Stock Exchange for the wonderful talents of the great Railway King, Commodore Yanderbilt. The brokers assembled at the "Stock Ex change at 12:30 p. M., and went through an elaborate burlesque oer-1 emoniai, wnicn meycauea lue -unveiling of the Stattoo." The ceremony tool, place in the gallery of the Ixjog Room, and was witnessed by at least 300 brokers. The master of ceremonies (in black suit, white vest, white kid gloves, and other Delmonicon accessories to a full dress toilet) took his station near tbe "Stattoo," while around him were the choristers -also in black the orator of the day, the reader of the ode, and other participants. At exactly half-past 12 o'clock p. M. the ceremony commenced. The Chairman was about commencing his address, when a cabbage was passed up to him, and he bowed his acknowl edgments for the rare bouquet. The ad dress was short, but sweet, and did full justice to the great claims of the Commo dore on the public. As he finished, an "injunction" in the name of the United States and Buenos Ayres, and the Supreme Court, was read, but the reader was marched off the gal lery amid immense confusion. -The Sec retary read several letters from parties who had failed to be present "on account of severe losses in Central," and the Chair roared forth a song to the tune of John Brown, expressive of the great services of Commodore Yanderbilt to the public and to the brokers. j A gentleman Monsieur Black, the Chairman called him then delivered an address, in which he alluded with great humor and e fleet to the watering opera tions of Commodore Yanderbilt, who was originally a waterman, and had made water the "Central" idea 'of his life. Formerly, men had been made to see double by other liquids besides water, but the Commodore had made the grand discovery that water, simple and pure, in the hands of a financial genius, posses?ed the extraordinary power not only of mak ing one see a thing double, but also of making the thing itself double. Roars of applause and deafening enthusiasm. At this point a shawl which had con cealed the statue was withdrawn, and a sight greeted the eyes of the multitude which was well calculated to make them "cry with laughter." - There was a huge white draped form, whose face, with lolling tongue and pro truding eyes, looked like that of an idiot. The left arm was folded over the breast, and in the right hand, which was encased in a boxing-glove, bearing upon its front the consolidation figures of Cen tral, which nobody needs to be told are 207. The sight was greeted with lond shouts of laughter and applause, which continued for many minutes. To close the ceremonies, the chorns sang "My Country, 'tis of Thee," with a chorns setting forth that he (the Commodore) "is a jolly good fellow, which nobody ean deny." As this assertion was repeated many times, and nobody did deny it, it is to be concluded that he it "a jolly good fellow." The following is the ode sung on the occasion : Come ail ye jolly brokers, a story 111 relate About a famous Commodore, who live in New York State. Consolidated railroads are a thing he never hates. Chorus As be goes driving on. . His watering machinery as yet has never failed. And to show our gratitude to him this statue's now unveiled. . Before Jim Ftsk, Jay Oould & Co. his courage never failed. Chorus As he goes driving on. -, This statue we set up for him, and may it last until Th very poor old Commodore his breeches pock et's fill, And when he dies well surely find that, with an earnest will. Chorus He must go driving on. Mr. E. H. Van Schaick was the Presi dent and master of the ceremonies, and Mr. S. Y. White was the speaker or ora tor at the uu veiling. Wall street has not for many a long day witnessed so much merriment as during this Stock Exchange unveiling operation. JVete YorkExprets, November 10. A Spdnkt Girl. An exchange gives the following : "Annie James, of Alton, 111., is described as the most beau tiful girl that ever found lodgment on the Mississippi river. She .has an eye like a gazelle ; teeth like the purest ivory ; hair like a vexed mass of golden feathers; hands so white and shapely that to see them is to want to kiss them, and to kiss them is destruction ; a smile like a summer's sunrise, and a laugh like the tones of silver bells on a frosty night, Well, this is what Annie did : She came down from her room and found two of her lovers noisily disputing as to their respective claims to her company to a ball that evening. The anger f the beautiful maiden was aroused at this ex hibition in her father's halls, and, seizing the belligerent youths by their back hair, she knocked their heads together' with great force half a dozen times, and then thrust them out of the front door, with the admonition never to show their faces there again. ' vy: .. A member of a church in Vermont, de scribing ",aman from" the Lord," prayed in this wise : " Send us not an old man in his dotage, not. a young man in his goslinghood, bnt a man with all the mod ern improvements." v . VARIOUS ' ITEMS. ,e C . Burglars advertisement Goods care fully removed. ' ' It is a mistake to suppose the. sun i supported by its beams. " a T What is the greatest want of the age t Wantof fundW " , ' ' . ; : ' The public sinsrer that " draws" the best A mosquito. '':'" -";''; -i' A tale of thrilling interest- the rattle snake's. rni ' . . " -, w rr- luere ir twencv-seven miies m onn wire in the Fifth Avenue Hotel. The State Etomoloaist of Illinois is known in that section as the " Bugmaster General.". -, j ; ' ! t Money I" replied the steward. " vott preach for money' I , I thought- yev preacneu tor tbe good of souls V Chicago has spent- ten millions and put up twenty-five hundred buildings this year.. ;.s ..-J. , ; , , . , In Altoona, Penn., the Council ' will not allow any female under, twenty-one -years of age to appear on the stage, j 1 Carrying umbrellas with a dagger in the handle is one of the pleasures of life in Rome, which the police try to suppress. ! f , , , . The smallest of the seven Misses CoU lins, of Claiborne county, Tenn., weighs two hundred and forty pounds. One of the Revolutionary widows in Main who receives: pensions, is a hale colored lady nearly: 100 years old. - A woman in Conneticut bet ten dollar against a weeks' board that she could eat a bushel of roasted oysters. She won the wager. 'jj'. - Harrisburgh has a female revenue de tective, and she employs her time in look ing up illicit distilleries. .,, A pair of twin were recently born on a Pennsylvania railroad train. The mother said it always made hersick to ride on the cars. . ,' i ' ' A daughter of Prof. Agassiz is in the insane asylum at Somerville, Mass., a monomaniac. ' - - i ' . "Souls T'replied the minister, " I can't eat souls, and if I could, it would take a thousand such as yours to make a decent meai.".;. ;; i ; ; " ' "An acquaintance says he never has any trouble to " lay in" his Coal he always does that when he takes too much Bour bon and falls into the cellar. " Muggins, " what era in the world's history do yon' regard - with the deepest horror T" - The chol era I gasped Muggins, with a. spasmodic shndder. Why should the sea make a better housekeeper than the earth ! . Because the earth is exceedingly dirty, and the sea is very tidey. - ' It is said that petitions are going up to the Pennsylvania Legislature, pray ing them to re-enact tbe len command ments - '- i " ' ! "',', ,' John Morrissey ! has been to hear Beacher preach and he says he never saw a man " get the devil's head , in chancery so quick in all his life." ; An old lady was admiring the beauti ful picture called Saved." " It's no wonder," said she, " the poor child faint ed, after pulling that great dog out of the water." . , -:; .h A K ntnrVv nnirirnaliafc Mllldn't tISV twenty-five dollars tax foe street improve ments, and so took himself to the Sum mer Land (where nobody pays taxes) by cutting his throat. Detroit is shocked at the fact that a lady of refinement and education, highly connected in Windsor, was found iu its streets, in a state of stupid intoxication. Women are to be admitted to the privr ileges of Eton, a fact upon which the London Daily Nine remarks is an evi dence of the advancing' spirit of the age. : j . The San Francisco Examiner advises the Legislature to forbear in the passage ot anti-Mongolian bills, beleiving that the Fifteenth Amendment is sure to pass, and oppressive State measures may in duce Congress to make voters of Chinese residents. That will be apt to settle the Chinese agitation for the present Business. There is a good deal of talk in Philadelphia anions; the brokers about a certain fast young man whose father is overburdened with millions. ,- Tbe young man would not work, and the old man could not bear an idler, and many wero the quarrels between them. At last the old man, quite out of pa tience, said: , . "Now, Jack, I give yon one. week to make up your mind to what business you are to go in. No son of mine shall be a lounger, and go , to work you shall. At the end of this week, if yon have made no choice, I will stop your allowance al together, and make you take : stool in my office; and work enough you11 have it there." . ., V , , . Well, Jack promised to look around and make up his mind. ' ' ' v : At the end of the 'week sharp and peremptory as was his way iaa oia pro- ker sang out ; ..SY "Well. Jack; time's up; have you made up your mind to make your ' own living?" ytr.'i, y -fff P- v" WelL father, I've been , thinking of it, and have something in my mind, bat it will require considerable capital." ' , "Capital, Jack 1 capital, myboyl" said the delighted fetter. "Only:try to make your own living, and I'll nay yoa a National Bank or a line of steamer I What is it, J aek i nai w .- "Well, father! was think irig that If Joa would i onJyjvance me three or fonr undred thousand dollars, I could invest it in Government bonds, and make my living by cntting off the coupons ' .. . . The old man never talks to Jack any more about ''business' .