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About The Albany register. (Albany, Or.) 1868-18?? | View Entire Issue (April 3, 1869)
ALBANY, OREGON, SATURDAY, APRIL 3, 1869.
SATU.HDAY, APRIL 3, lt9.
A Old friend.
Bat a line in dailjr paper
Thousands of eye would see,
Ad 1 careless pus tbe record by
That girts such pain to me.
Yet ear lires had drifted wide apart
Mine at my ingle side ;
And hera, who I read in tas Put to-day,
"Ob the 4th of October died."
And oars u a quiet liking,
A simfls, friendly ton J ;
It was pleasant to meet, and light to part.
And never a thought beyond.
Tel as I read those words to-day
Through a sadden mist of tears.
The fair, frank face and bright blue eyes.
Gleamed oat through the cloud of years.
Ah, well ! it had passed away from mine,
The life that is closed at noan ;
And I who forgot to watch its coarse.
Will forget its setting soon.
The world goes tip and the world goes down.
And the young succeed the old ;
And the April sunshine gilds the buds
That spring from the church-yax J mold.
And eyes that of old have answered mine
Will sadden as mine have done, read
As they glance some day down the list and
That my earthly race is ran.
Well, I scarce can frame a kindlier wish
Than that every lip will say,
"God rest her soul 1" as earnestly
As I breathe it for her to-day.
Joel BilldJg's Proposal.
The evening of which I write, Joel
Billdig had attired himself io his best
duds, and set out for the residence of
Widow Smith. The widow had one son
and daughter, and their names were
Henrj and Sally. Twenty-two summers
had passed over the head of Sally, whilst
fourteen only had passed over the curly
head of IJenry. Henry was a sharp boy,
he knew a thing or two.
It might be well enough to say that
Joel was going to the Widow Smith's
that evening, with the avowed intention
of doing a little job of courting. lie
had been there before, and he knew how
things stood. lie could see that his
visits were favorably received, and he
believed Sally smiled upon him. The
widow looked upon it a an eligible match,
and why shouldn't she ? Hadn't Joel a
twenty-acre lot and two steers and a
brindle eow ? Yes. And did he ever
drink or smoke, or chew, or swear, or
mind anybody's business but his own ?
Emphatically, no. Then why wouldn't
it be an- eligible - match ? Of course it
was an eligible match, and everybody
Sally would have been better pleased
'tis true, if Joel had been a little more
"fixey," as she styled it. She didn't
see any use in a feltaw with his trowser
loous inside of his boots, his vest unbut
toned, and his hair uncombed. But
that's the way with all the girls. You
never see them altogether satisfied. If a
fellow Lt all right one way, why he lacks
in something else, and so the dear creat
ures are never satisfied. It was just so
with Sally Smith. She knew that Joel
Billdig was goo i, and honest, and indus
trious, and owned a twenty-acre lot, but
she must find fault with him in some
way; and so she found fault with his un
combed hair, and his open vest, and
pantaloons inside of his boots.
We said that Joel Billdig was going
-to the Widow Smith's for the purpose of
doing a little bit of courting we said
this, and we'll stick to it. Joel was
rather a bashful youth, . and he had to
crew his courage up for a whole week
before he could induce himself to visit
Sally ; but after he had got in and eat
awhile aud after, the pie and cider had
been, passed around, he began to feel bet
ter and more at home, he began to talk,
and after hehad talked, awhile, the widow
and her ton withdrew and left Sally and
Joel ajone. ; .,, .
Sally and Joel were left alone in the
best room. ' Joel talked still better When
(the widow and her son withdrew, and in
fk short time be asked ' Sally to be his
.wife, and he did it after this fashion :
. "Sally' said he, mana'a abeout gin
4BQUt, and she , thinks I j had . orter git a
wife to dew things.' She, thinks she has
acted wheel-horse long enuff.. Neow,
Sally, what would you think tew comin'
over tew our house and keepin things in
order? I railly don't think you could
Then Sally flared a bit. Says she :
"I ain't goin' fortil marry no man jest
ftew dew his work for him. I s'pose
vou'd never bed ma If youlhaaVt Ihort
I'd be enuff aighfc better rworker than
Polly 'Jones, or Patience Perkins? or Sal
ly Simpson, Ttrene:ef Uwm'othcr gals
you've been a goin wifn. Gfuess I ain't
no foot:? -1 can work eoufTto" bum with
out goin' .over' tew- your' bouse' tew be
bossed around by you and your marm."
' Then Joel explained that he loved her
and did Mt ask her to marry him just
i because she was a good worker and
"handy tew dew things." He expected
her to wot k some, of course ; but he loved
her ''a heap more" than re loved Pul!y
Jones, or Patience Perkins, or Sally
Simpson, or any '-them gals..-' He loved
her with his whole heart, and he would
be the most "niiserablest" man in the
country if she didn't revoke her decision,
and come over and be his wife and at
tend to things generally.
The widow, instead of reposing in the
arms of Morpheus, as she ought to have
been was waiting and listening at the
keyhole to- see that everything went
straight and at this critical moment she
allowed her anxiety for the match to get
the better of her prudence, and she sang
';Sal, you'll be the biggest fool in crea
tion if you don't hev him. He's got a
twenty-acre lot and two steers. Hev him
quick ! I'd be glad of the chance."
The little soeech of the widow's, spo
ken through the keyhojl, instead of help
ing matters, only spoiled the courting for
that evening, and put the now frightened
Joel to instant flight. He grabbed his
hat and struck out for home. The widow
then came from her chamber and stormed
"You shaller thing, what have you
done? You'll never get such another
chance, and I hope you'll be an old maid
as long as you live."
"I jest tell you marm," exclaimed
Sally excitedly, "I am goin to marry no
man jest tew dew work for him. Jest
think how provoking he was. If he had
asked me right, I might have hed him ;
but instead of fallin' on his knees and
graspin one of my hands in his, and
striking his breast with t'other, and
askin' me to be his bosom companion
and walk with him down the stream of
life, or some sich highfalution talk, he
axed me tew come over and dew things
tew his house. Ketch me niarryin a
man who doesn't know any more than
that about axin' a gal to hev him."
' You'll rue the day, I'll bate," said
the widow ; and she smoothed her temper
and the ruffles in her nightcap, and went
back to bed.
The next day nenry met Joel at the
village-store, and as he knew of the pro
ceedings of the previous night, he snick
ered rather loud to be agreeable to the
vanquished lover. Joel rushed at him
and grabbed him by the collar.
4-2eow, said he "if you ever tell, I 11
wallop you I will, by jingo!"
llenry declared he would be as close
as an iron safe, and then he added :
"If you want to marry Sally, I'll tell
you how you can get her."
"How how.' inquired Joel catching
at the words of hope as a drowing man
would catch at a 6traw.
Henry liked Joel. Ho knew that
beneath his rough coat he carried as true
and honest a heart as ever beat in the
breast of a man. Many a time had he
been befriended by the man with a frowsy
head, and he knew of no one be would
rather have for a brother-in-law never
theless the funny scene of the previous
night would rise before him and he
cuu'.d scarce control bin risibilities. Hen
ry had been awakened by his mother's
anxious appeal to Sally to accept the
hajjd of Joel, and he knew all that had
"Well, Joel," said Henry, "all you
have to do is to ask her again, but you
will have to ask her in a different way.
Sally has been reading novels, and
they've turned her head. Now if you
want to win her, pile up the agony pile it
high pile it as high as Mount Olympus,
and then she'll accept you. Fall on your
knees and strike your breast and swear
you'll be the inmate of a lunatic-asylum
before a week, if she does not agree , to
make you happy by sailing with you on
the rippling stream of life. Pile the
agony high. Pile highfalutin upon high
falutin, and top it off with highfalutin,
and then you'll win her. It isn't any
difference whether you put in the right
words in the right place or whether you
put them in the wrong place it's all the
same to Sally. All you have to do is put
in your biggest licks, and you'll carry
the day." , ... 3
"Gosh," said the happy lover, "is that
all that's in the way? I'll bate I'll fix
"One word more," said Henry, as Joel
in his joy was bounding away: "and you
won't be offended?" - .
"O, no j in course not!" responded
Joel. ' r'' -; ' '-'.-'
"Well, comb your head before you
come, and button your vest, and put your
trowserloons outside your boots."
"O !" exclaimed the astonished Joel, a
light breaking in upon him. -
"Sally likes a fellow to be sort fixey,
you know,", said Henry. ...
. "Gosh I" again exclaimed the happy
Joel; "111 bata I'll fix her;"
Joel went , home one of the happiest
fellows in creation. He hunted up all
the novels in the house and borrowed
more rom the neighbors. Then he went
to work and studied them" to the detri
ment of the twenty-acre lot .and the
steers, and at the end of the two weeks
be considered himself perfect.
"I'll bate I'l fix I'll bate she'll be
mine," he said, as he got himself up in
good style, and went over to the wid
ow's. The widow and Henry retired in good
order at nine o'clock, and Joel drew a
long breath, and prepared for the conflict.
The widow and Henry bad time to be in
the land of Nod before Joel commenced
his speech. JEhey had ample time to be
there: but they- were not there. It was
too important an! occasion for the widow
to give sleep to her eyes, and Henry
couldn't rest until he had heard Joel's
For the benefit of ibose who have never
proposed, I will set down Joel's exact
words. He plumped down on both
knees and broke out after the
"Sally, I love you harder than a hoss
can kick. My heart would bust and fly
into five hundred thousand fragmentary
mis ii you wouian t nev me. jlou are
my tallow-candle, and I gaze upon you,
as a ieilow would gaze upon a blazin star
a ridin' upon a rock-ribbed thunder
cloud. I gaze upon you as a six-year
old would sit and gaze at the showman.
'Swept his panacea by.'
-I gaze upon you and my heart
plumpeth and jumpeth like the porpoise
which chased the autelope over tbe plain,
and bindeth the tiger with a strong log-
chain. If you won't have me -I'll hanir
myself on the Alpine height? and Chim
borazo's thunder-clouds shall cover me;
then I'll dive into the boisterous bowels
of oblivion, and drink deep draughts of
the liquid, liconic hquoratum that lies
bubblin' and boilin' there and when this
is all over and the lightning have flashed
their heaviest flasti, I'll be a gone gos
lin, and you, Sally, will be the cause. O,
Sally ! won't you have me ? Won't you
be my wife and get with me upon the
creaking raft and paddle, and kerslooze
with me adown the salty stream of life ?
Won't you be my gallicgalloping guiding-star
won't you be my North Pole
Polatus Polatum and guide me through
the whizzicky windings of the wilderness?
0,! Sally, say, and say it quick, won't
you be my wife ?"
Joel ceased speaking, and Sally flung
her arms around him.
"I love you," she said; "always loved
you, and I always meant to marry you,
but I wanted to see you spread yourself.
You have excelled yourself, and I am
"Bravo !" ahouted Henry throwing his
boots down stairs. "Hurrah for Joe !"
"Hurrah for Joe !" responded the
widow through the key-hole.
Joel went home a happy man, and the
Smith family dreamed happy dreams that
Joel and Sally are now one flesh, and
Joel still tills the twenty-acre lot and
drives the two steers; but his wife drives
Letter from White Pine. The
following is from the Portland Commer
cial: William O. Bruen, Esq., has laid
us under obligation for the following
letter from White Pine, written by Alex.
Campbell, an old citizen of this city :
' Silver Springs, March 8, 1S69.
Dear Sir: I am here in White
Pine with all my goods. I have a tent,
and it makes a good bar room, with all
my traps and pictures. I am doing well.
I bought a lot for 1,000 and can now
sell it for 2,000. George Clayton is
here and in business, selling whisky.
H. C. Coulson is in Treasure City, selling
whisky and dry goods. Mat Keith is
in Hamilton. Charley Powell came hero
to-day from Boise City. Johnny Kelley
is here and at work in the Bank Ex
change in Treasure City. There are not
many persons here from Oregon. It is
one of the wildest and best countries that
I have seen in my life. ; Bob Britton is
at work for me. All you hear about
White Pine is not true. . It is not so
very cold, and there is plenty of every
thing if you have only the "tin" to get
it. There is a good many "tender feet"
coming here that suffer as they are short
of greenbacks, and the beds are not as
good as they- are in Varmount. The
mines are very rich here and lots of them,
and people are coming very fast from all
parts of the world, and I am glad that
I came. It is hard to tell where the
town or city will be, but I am satisfied
with my town. - Wood is plenty here,
and water is a treasure. It is fifty cents
a bucket and wood is 830 a cord. Wells
& Fargo's office is in a saloon and gamb
ling house, and a chop house in one cor
ner, or anything else you want. I have
a very bad oold and feel very unwell
to-day. My hand is not very steady.
My regards to all. Write soon.
A sailor, in attempting to kiss a pret
ty girl got a violent box on the ear.
"There," he exclaimed, "just my luck;
always wrecked on the coral reefs'; - ;
The Boston Transcript says, "A cor
respondent wants to know if a railroad
director was ever known' to have been
hurt by a smash-up." ' ' '
Honor ificabilitudanitatibusque !
A Cool Conductor Liberal Reward for
Hushing up a Little Matter.
From the X. Y. Democrat.
It has been hinted quite generally that
of the hundred and odd conductors on
the Erie Railroad not all of them are
strictly honest. It has been said that a
few of them, on moderate salaries, have,
like members of Congress, succeeded in
saving from ten to thirty thousand dollars
a year. Some of them have built fine
houses; purchased horses, carriages, rich
clothes, fashionable jewelry, expensive
watches, some United States bonds, and
a few shares in Erie. There are some
men who are cruel enough to say this
property has been acquired, not by honest
labor, bat with money abstracted by a
sort of a conductorial strategy from the
earnings of the road, and invested by the
conductors rather than by the directors.
Not long since, while regulating the
Erie, its branches, and all connecting
railroads in the country ,it was decided iu
solemn canclave to regulate the conduct
ors a little. Everybody said, and every
body must know, that conductors like
unruly cHldren when visiting, help them
selves. Acting upon this basis, Manager
Fisk lately undertook the job of correct
ing the evils existing among the conduct
ors, are supposed to exist ; and, after
having estimated that they had bagged
enough daring the last five or six years
to build a double track over half the route
of the Ere, decided to have them dis
gorge. "With this view notices have
been sent, within the past fortnight, to
very many of the old conductors of the
road, who reside at various points on the
line, ordered them to report forthwith to
the Superintendent's office, on important
business. The other day, one of . the
conductors, whose name it is not necessa
ry to give here, who resides in Oswego,
was called down, ushered into the Super
intendent's office, and from there into
Manager Fisk's room, when it is reported
the following conversation took place :
Manasrer "you are conductor on the
Erie, I believe ?"
"How long have you been on the road I"
"Had a passenger train all the time, I
"Worth considerable property, I
"Have a fine house in Oswego ?" s
"Some little money invested in bonds,
I am told"
"Yes, sir." 4
"Own a farm where you reside?"
"Had nothing when you commenced
as conductor on our road ?"
"Nothing to speak of; only a home
for the future." r
"Made the property since?"
"Been at work for other parties ?"
"No. But I have been saving of my
money; invested it from time to time to
a good advantage."
"Well, sir, what will you give to set
tle ? Of course you cannot pretend to say
that you have acquired this property
from what you have saved from your
salary ? You will not deny that you have
pocketed a great deal of money belonging
to the road at least fifty or sixty thous
and dollars. Now, sir, what will you
give to settle and not be disgraced, as
you certainly will be if a trial is brought,
and you are compelled to give up the
property which you profess to own, but
which, in reality, belongs to the compa
"Well, Mr. ; Manager, I have not
thought of this matter. For several
years I have been running my train to
the best of my ability. Never looked at
the matter in this light before. Never
thought I was doing wrong. I have
done nothing more than other conductors
have : tried to earn my salary and get it
and think I've succeeded. I don't
know that I owe the company any thing.
If you think I do, why there's a little dif
ference of opinion, and I don't want any
trouble about it. , I have a nice family,
nice father and mother;' relatives all peo
ple of good standing they would feel
very bad to have me arrested, and charg
ed with dishonesty. It would kill my
wife. She has every confidence in me
in the world, and the idea that I, her
husband, would take so little as a penny
that did not belong to me would scud
her broken-hearted to the gravo. I
don't care anything for the rnattor myself,
but on account of my family and relatives,
I want to make it right with the road
and officers, and if you don't say any
thing more about it, Til give you a dot-
The bopping around Grecian bend in a
ball-room reminds one forcibly' of a kanga
roo trying; to escape the rttacks of sand
fleas. , ; ' . ' .- ', : . ' '
i m - '
Gilroy is still experiencing earthquake
shocks, i - -
Tbe Two Fishermen.
His pole was made of the sturdy oak,
His line was a cable that nerer broke.
He bailed his book with tigers' tails
And sat upon a rock and bobbed for whales.
His pole was made of a peacock's feather.
His line was a thread of the finest tether.
He baited his hook with bits of cheese
And sat in bed and bobbed for fleas.
Scckers. A Chicago paper tells how
the men of Illinois came to be called
"suckers." The praries were wide, the
tramps long, and at times water scarce.
The crawfish is a cold water animal under
all circumstances, and where he lives at
all, he bores for his favorite liquor if he
can get it on no easier terms. The habit
ation of the happy crawfish is never out
of water, in which sits the crustacean
damp and cheerful. The early thirsty
prairie traveler coming to one of the
crawfish holes, even if the surface of the
low soil was baked and parched, knew
that here was water, and the adjacent
reeds perhaps he carried one stuck in
his hat-band furnished the ready means
of drawing on the stock of the crawfish.
So they came to be known as "suckers."
New York as the Commercial
Emporium. It is thought by many re
flecting men that New York cannot long
retain her commercial supremacy. It is
said that of 1,750,000 barrels of flour
sent out of Buffalo last year, but 5,000
went to New York by the canals, which
are supposed to have a great advantage
in carrying heavy and slow freight. It
is also stated as another fact unfavorable
to the commercial future of New York,
that grain can be sent from Chicago to
Liverpool, by the way of Baltimore, after
the close of canal navigation, more cheap
ly than it can be sent from Chicago to
New York. Commerce has recently
found a new route, by way of the Missis
sippi river and New Orleans, by which,
with the facilities now perfected, grain
can be and has been shipped from the
Northwest to Liverpool and New York at
rates lower than the more direct routes
of transportation. In view of these im
portant facts, one of the Philadelphia
papers thinks that New York had better
look well to her laurels as the commercial
metropolis of America. Philadelphia
would be glad to seize tbe prize, and
Baltimore is sanguine of ber own future
Possibly, however, the real rival of New
lork may prove to be Norfolk, Virginia,
which has one of the most splendid har
bors in the world, and is one hundred
and nine miles nearer to Cincinnati.
Pacific Slope BreTiUe.
The Modern Yankee. A Yankee
is commonly equal to anything going-
at least he is apt to think so, and as he
thinks he acts. He can break a colt,
shingle a meeting-house, keep a school,
try law cases, edit a newspaper he
thinks that is fun go to Congress,
preach, swap horses, jackknives, friends
and wives it somebody must trade at
tend to his neighbors' private affairs, set
tle "hashes between them, build rail
roads, lay out institutions, (some are
known to lay a great while,) kiss all the
girls in the district, and a fair quantity
out of it, sink wells, raise old Neds, whit
tle, smoke, chew, swear, court, love, bate,
sing, dance, fiddle, play the harp par
ticularly the harp of a thousand strings
run a mission, a ouoavy scnool, a
Bible class, a ship with warming-pans
and flannel shirts for tbe naked heathen
at the equator, a temperance society,
farm, mine, do tailoring, blacksmithmg.
watch-cleaning, and other sundries of
more or less account and calibre. The
live Yankee is at home on most things
in general and several things in particu
lar. Give him his jackknife and shirt-
collar, aud he is fully armed to "do the
The Suffrage Amendment. The
following is the amendment to the Con
stitution as passed by both Houses:
Resolved, Hy the Senate and House of
Representatives of the United States of
Amerioa, in Congress assembled, two-
tmrds oi both Houses concurring, that
the following Article be proposed to the
Legislatures of the several States as an
amendment to the Constitution of the
United States, which, ratified by .three
fourths of said Legislaturesjshall be valid
as a part of the Constitution, namely :
Article XV. Section 1. , The right
of citizens of the United States to vote
shall not be denied or abridged by tbe
United States, or by any State, on account
of race, or color, or previous condition of
See. 2. The Congress shall have
power to enforce this Article by appro
priate legislation. . . - !
Nevada is the second State to endorse
San Joee is to have a savings insurance
The snow sheds erected over the track
of the Central Paciaa railroad are 2Z
miles in length by 16 feat high. 40,
000,000 feet of lumber was used in its
construction, and it covers an area of
nearly 43 acres. ?i
The Humboldt Indiana are said to bo
on the war-path. The Humboldt Tlntts
says that a party of Indians, consisting:
of ten bucks and one squaw, had lately
been seen in the vicinity, where Emory
was killed, and that a number 6F catt.'e
have been wantonly slaughtered by them.
The Times says they are evidently on
the war path, aod calls on the authorities
at Fort Gaston to take immediate action
for the protection of families from them. ;
The Truckee Tribune says : With the
opening of Spring, Truckee will become
one of the liveliest towns' on the coast.
Every saw mill in the district will run
to its fullest capacity night and day and
the railroad company has a vast amount
of labor to be performed between here I
and the Summit, which can be done to
advantage only in summer. We do not
think, from what we can learn, that less
than five thousand men will be employed
on the road and about the mills within
Kobertson district says the Nevada
Enterprise, of march 3d, is a new mining
district, some 30 miles from White Pine,
and is said to contain some very 'large
and valuable leads. A party of gentle
men interested in the. district leave this
city to-day to look after locations made
for them. The assays for the principal
leads discovered run from 580 to 275.
There is said to be plenty of wood and
water in the district, and the country
rock is similar to that at White Pine,,
being limestone and granite.
A Romance or the Cuban Rebel
lion. An American citizen who was in
the Theater of Yillanueva on tne even
ing of tbe 22d ult., and witnessed the
riot and Massacre in the streets of Ha
vana that evening, says that the origin
of the outburst was the shooting of a
young woman. He says : "A very beau
tiful girl, the daughter of Aldama, one
air the Cubans', wore upon her left
breast the American flag, with the in
scription, "Long live the Republic of
Cuba" upon it. When the stirring song
was being sung, the whole audience rose
and cheered this young woman, and as
she rose to acknowledge the salute all
eyes were now bent upon her a low,
mean, cowardly Spaniard shot her with
a revolver, killing htr instantly. ' Two
American gentlemen occupied the box
adjoining Senoiita Aldama, whose names
I do not know, but one of whom, seeing
the pistol pointed at the young lady's
breast, drew his revolver, and a second
after the Spaniard had fired, blew the
top off the head of the cowardly assassin.
Instantly the whole theater was the
scene of the greatest confusion, and the
Spanish troops rushed in and began firing
upon the masses of the huddled, unarm
ed, innocent men and women."
"Bully for Him." The Auburn
Herald, February 27th, says:
Stephen H. a lad about 15 years of age,
son of C. P. Reno of Iowa Hill, while
going from Ford's Bar to Pickering's Bar
on the North Fork, a few days since, dis
covered a large deer below, the trail,
standing behind a . bush, and partially
hidden from him. On the spur- of the
moment he picked up a rock and hurled
it at the unsuspecting animal, which took
effect on the head and brought it to the
ground. Then with the quickness of
thought he sprang upon his prey, and
with another rock beat it on the head
until life was extinct. The deer after
being dressed, weighed 86 pounds. We
must say bully for him.
A funny story is told of the second
raising of a meeting-house in Connecticut,
when a young man was called upon to
deacon an appropriate hymn. He repeat
ed, in a clear and solemn voice, the lines
Except the Lord doth build the house .
The workmen ton in vain ;
Which were sung by the peoplo with
usual solemnity, when the rogue gave out,
with equal seriousness ,
Except the Lord doth shingle in
Xwil tumble down again.
Law is like a seive j you may " see
through it, but you must be considerably
reduced before you can get t hrough it. -
- 1 SJ .. , j J
A TflTM editor, on beinsr asked how ha
got along with his paper, said he had
written one editorial and shot three men
in the previous 12 months. - :; ; . i -; ,
,. V . i r. , , ,, ,.-j::.,;,,t,w.
Virginia ovsterman claim that it ia
death to eat raw oysters immediate v after
eating of sugar or molasses. , - -; ,
Whv is a ladv whoso dress touches the
floor like a vagrant? Beenuse she has o
visible means of support. ? ;! " W