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mlERR STEINHARDFS NEMESIS
BY I. MACLAREN COBBAN.
To carry out our plan with eucceaa
? J demanded dispatch. I dUi-OTfrfd
1 that very evening, by going casually
Kjtnto my landlady's kin-hen, that her
X herculean ton wss going to hire
? , charge of the magic lantern, he wsa
at that mqment busily making ac
quaintance with tt. The rect of my
task waa therefore easy.
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
8
CHAPTER XIII Continued. .
"What if it?" he demanded; his
too was not loud, but bia eyes seemed
standing out as with suppressed rage
"what it it yon two are together for?
What ran yoa do? Yon hare nothing!
money, influence, nothing!"
'No, 'Manuel," said Birley; "yoo've
grabbed them all."
"la it," Mid he, glaring at me,
"that yon you a beggarly curate!
want, expect to marry an heiress, the
heireaa ol an old family? I bare said
before that aha ia not an heiress- that
he baa no money, and that she ia not
for yon, air!"
"I have reason," I aid, "to believe
that Herr Steinhardt doea not always
apeak the troth."
"Pouf! You are insolent aa well!
An insolent beggar ia not to be borne!
And so you have got, too, this reck lees
old man to abet yoa in yoar tricks and
citemee! What for ia it," be de
manded of Birley, "that yoa have set
yourself to go agninat me in this?"
"Partly, 'Manuel," answered Birley,
"because I have gradually got con
vinced you are the biggeet villain un
hung, and partly because I like this
lad - Unwln. Aa for tricks and
"Piffl You are foolish as wall aa
reckless." -
"I say, as for tricks and schemes I
may have an account to settle with you
of that tort, before I have done, but
not tonight."
"Not tonight! After tonight joo
will be more completely nothing than
yon have been yetl I will destroy yoa
both! Yon ahall be beggars both,
without hope, without reputation!"
"These are brave words, 'Manuel,
and I know yoa will carry them out, if
yoa can; I know you can mate me a
beggai, but I think Vnwin is pretty fit
tc give an account of himself yet, and
of yoa, too, 'Manuel, if it comes to
that. But, sew, you'd better go home,
for it'i Sanday morning, and you're
frightening the poor girl there."
Thil careless dismissal must have
been especially exasperating to a man
like Stainhardt. He was almost beside
himself, yet be still held his fury down.
"Yoa are beggars, sneaks and cow
arda both !" be exclaimed.
"Nay, but," said Birley, now roused ,
and approaching to urge the necessity
of a speedy departure, "if we begin
calling names we may have the better
of it, but not tonight. Come, 'Manuel,
yoa must go!"
He was reluctantly withdrawing,
when he and wa also were startled by
Louise exclaiming with outstretched
hands
"Where ia my father, yoa wicked
man? What have too done with him?
Where have yoa put him?"
He paused a moment to set his face,
and then turned again to look at her.
"Thm airl ia gone mad!" he said.
"Doea she think I am her fatber'e
keeper? Where have I put him! Have
T ant him in mv oocket do you think?"
The knowledge of this, it may be
rue ed, did not make me feel any
the less bitterly toward Steinhardt
tanic tombstone and remove his dead!
The wall waa too secure a covering!
It waa the grand mistake of a strong,
resolute and orlglnl criminal! the
enormoua blunder of the bold, uncom
promising villain, entirely confident
In hia eeeurlty against every risk of
discovery!
I hurriedly withdrew to consider
my course of action. I began to find
that I was In aa awkward dilemma.
My promise to Fraulein Haas forbade
a public examination of that spot, yet
how could my promise to I wise, that
her father's remains ahould be prop
erly Interred how could that be ful
filled without the discovery becoming
public? There waa another point
which gave me pause: suppose thia
rude grave broken Into, and its con
tents Identified aa the remains of Mr.
lAcrolx. how could t show that Stein
hardt had burled them? How, then,
could I bring the crime home so as to
move him aa I desired?
I resolved to go to Freeman, and
talk the difficulty over with him. I
had seen little of my friend since bia
return from London: he had been
much from home on some buslneea
of his denomination. He did not even
know yet of the successful result of
onr Inquiry upon old Jaquea.
I found him In his study. In which
he was always most at ease. In ac
cordance with hla request I "posted"
htm "up to date" in my doings and
T toatlaa!)
THERE WAS A MISTAKE.
STORIES TOLD BY FUN. IV MEN
OF THE PRESS
ate Pfuirllfc '
Ills Dog-How Is the courtship get
ting on?
Her IHHt-Not very fart. They atlll
talk about hooks.
Scan el
Way the Catena! Steaatd Hia
Chatsana at five.
1 had read." aald the colonel, as
he was relating some of his experi
ences la China, "that if a person fell
Into the water no one could pull him
out. holding that hla falling In waa a
decree of Providence that must not
be Interfered with.
"One day, oa one of the canals, I
atumbled and went overboard, and,
although there were twelve boatmen,
not one of them would extend me a
hand. After a close ahave, aa I can
not swim. I got aboard again, and aa
soon aa I recovered my breath I yell
ed it the boea boatman:
"You Infernal acoundrel, why
dldnt you help me oat?
"'It was your rate to fall In, ha
calmly replied.
"'And it's yon fate to take a good
licking!' I aald as I went for him.
"When I had finished him off I took
another, and I was Just polishing off
my fifth victim when the sixth man
halted me to aay:
"There seems to be a mistake
here. We are taught that If a person
falls Into the water he must aave
himself, or drown, but we are not
taught that If he doea save himself
he Is at liberty to lick half of China
in revenge.'
"I thought his point well taken,"
Odd, Car Una aad Laac'uaale Phae
f Miaas Natare Onehlcallv Per
lrm;ad hy Kmlnent Ward Art lata of
Oar Own Dai A Had Fasw
'COMUOUOHg, W
Dear Nephew John-1 take my pen lu
baud to let you know that we are all
lust about aa well aa could be expected
under the prevslllu elrcuuittatteea; and
them two boy of your'o, that ye :it
down here from the city to escai th
smallpox Well, please take 'em home
ml send down Hi smallpox Instead.
Smallpox may kill ye occasionally, but
it don't holler all the time, or eat ever-
lastlu'ly, or set the bam afire, or tin-
can the dog. or break up the alttlu'
beua, or fool ye Into draggln' the pond
for Its dead body, or git y at outa
with all your nelghlmr. 80, no more
at present from your lovln' uncle.
KZR V J. BRNTOVKIL
Puck.
Th Higher Card.
Kdumnla -Kuetacta la so Irritating; 1
showed her my grandfather'! clock.
Eleanor IM.In't alio admire It?
Kilimmla -Oil, yea; but she asked nie
1 come out some time and see ber
great grandfather a clock.
discoveries from the finding of the. laughed the colonel, and I stopped my
French papers In Jacque'a cottage, ! score at Ave and went down to change
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CHAPTER XIV.
. n Mnndav morning the whole
nalrhhnrhnnd wa alive With the
wa that Mr. Birley waa "to be
sold up." An execution bad been put
intn hia house under a bill o( sale, ana
an agent or auctioneer person (acting
of course by instruction) naa aim-
imiim announcing a sale of "furni
ture and effects", on boards in the
front-garden. Stelnhardt knew there
wAiiLA be no redemption of the bill.
ea.v.Dut in Us haste to be aa peremptory
with hia old friend as nossiDie ne naa
overlooked the fact that by an act
which had come In force in me Be
ginning of that year, he was bound
to give Birley five days opportunity
to pay off the bill. Birley, therefore,
plucked up the notice boards and
threw them into the lane, and then
went and talked to the man in pos
aaaalon.
But that afternoon I had business
of my own on hand: I had deter
mined to settle to my own satisfac
tion the exact spot Indicated by
Fraulein Haas's vision as that where
Lacrolx's remains were Interred. I
mentioned the ruined mill In the be
ginning of this story, which occupied
nart of a dreadfully littered little pe
ninsula formed by a curve of the
stream." More than one of its walls
had fallen, but I had particularly no
ticed frequently In passing, and had
wondered at one wall which lay as
flat as the walls of Jericho; tt seemed
from the public aide of the stream to
cohere as completely as when it had
been standing, except at its outer
edges where the bricks were tfroken
and dislocated. This I suspected, was
the wall; and I was resolved to visit
It to aee whether I could make sure
my suspicion was correct
To get to the mill 1 had to pass
round to the head of the peninsula (I
wondered whether Stelnhardt had
taken that route on his Journey with
hla horrible burden, or whether he
had boldly forded the stream opposite
one of the side gates to the grounds
of hla works).' This led me between
two old rattling mills of some sort,
past plies of. lumber broken wagons
and fragments of old machinery rust
ing away past some flourishing pig
sties, constructed of old boards and
old sacks. I had to pick my way very
carefully, for It was beset with gul
lies and holea worn out by rain tor
rents, and with entrenchments of cin
ders and "clinkers." At length I
came out upon the open space round
the mill. I approached the wall with
a shuddering but fascinated sense. In
the middle of It, toward the edge
which had been the, top, was a bolted
Iron plate, answering exactly to the
requirements of Fraulein Haas's vis
ion, - .
,v.afy eye was at once attracted to a
part of the wall, near Its base, which
waa altogether unlike the rest. Most
of the wall wag as bare of anything
like vegetation as a mill-wall com
monly lay but this part was covered
with a fine yellowish-green fungus on
the bricks, and grass In the mortar of
the Interstices. This, I was satisfied,
waa the spot. Under these bricks
had lain, for eighteen months, the
mutilated remains of the unfortunate
Lacrols, probably at no great depth;
hence the eagerness of Stelnhardt to
cover them with 10 wldespreadlng a
tonb-elab as thia fallen wall, aad
hence, also, probably, this traitorous
growth of green. As. I looked, I won
dered how much Stelnhardt would
give now to be able to move his Ti-
Li
through the revelations at Basel, to
the discovery t had made a few min
utes before. He was most Impressed
with my account of the visions of
Fraulein Haas. He was something of
a mystic, of the pseudo-scientific kind
welt known In these latter days, and
he would turn his attention to no oth
er point till he had found an explana
tion of the Fraulein'a experiences).
His explanation at least satisfied him
self, and It certainly was very plaus
ible. He described the phenomena
as "magnetic clairvovanre.' Here,
said he. were two people who had at
one time been deeply Interested In
each other, one of whom (the more
sympathetic subject) still thoueht
much of the other: the one was high
ly nervous, the other wss strong
willed. The strong-willed person was
In an extraordinary difficulty. In
which he had to put a reaolute strain
upon all his resources of mind snd
body and memory. In his casting
about In his excited mood for aid to
remove his difficulty, he might well
have thought. "If she were here!
she who hss been of all betnes the
most devoted to me! Or. If I were
only with her. rid of this horrible
business!" This strong wishing, this
"reaching ont of spirit" for her.
would sink to a mere nothing when
the difficulty of the time was once
settled, and the bond of attraction
would sink loose and lifeless, till it
wss drawn tense again, and thrilled
again with vigor when his need of her
returned upon him with a new diffi
culty. This would account for Frau
lein Haas's feeling of being drawn as
If away from herself at those times
when she hsd her visions.
This explanation made, he was
ready to turn with me to more press
ing points. He could not see, 'how
ever, any more than I could, that I
was at present likely to effect any
thing with Stelnhardt by private
threats of the disclosure of my know!
edge, by anything, Indeed, but a pub
lic Investigation and even that might
do little more than create a public
scandal.
You see," said Freeman, "you have
absolutely nothing yet of a reliable
kind that can point even circumstan
tially to Stelnhardt as the murderer
I could not but agree with him. and
assent to his advice to "wait" In
the meantime Stelnhardt must be per
mitted to pursue his vindictive ron
duct toward our dear old friend Bir
ley. and hla chances of causing fur
ther annoyance and anxiety to Miss
Lacroix. Our helplessness In the mat
ter chafed severely both Freeman and
myself.
"Is there no way at all,"I exclaim
ed, "but the way of evidence to bring
the crime home to him? to really
satisfy ourselves that the crime is
his, and to make him feel that we
know it tar
"Have you any objection," said he,
rising as if anticipating I would have
none, "to take my wife Into counsel.
She sometimes has a clear Idea In
her head."
I said I certainly would like Mrs.
Freeman to consult with us, and In a
few moments she was aittlng oppo
site me. I told her the whole mat
ter, and pointed out the difficulty of
the situation.
"So," said she, "you want to get at
some way of bringing ft home to
him, as you say. If. now, you could
only hit upon something like Ham
let's play to catch the King."
"Ah, yes, Hamlet!" we both ex
claimed. This waa our first formative hint,
and I need not describe In detail how
from that, through aimless-seeming
discussion, and wild suggestion of one
sort and another, a plan was at
length developed. I shall but state
the result
Friday and Saturday of that very
week were the days of what are
known as TLmperley Wakes. They
had In the past, I understood, been
celebrated with wild orgies of drink
ing, "mumming," and dancing round
and through bonfires. But this "pssa
tng through the fire to Moloch" waa
no longer a pastime of the people; it
had become the dull daily occupation
of their lives. The only orgies now
known were drinking and fighting,
and spending small sums at the
booths of the fair. The church had
for some years exerted Itself to pro
vide other recreation for some at
least of the people. In accordance
with this usage there waa advertised
for Friday evening a mild tea enter
tainment, to be followed by "Grand
Dissolving Views," which last Free
man had learned would be shown by
a fine new magic lantern Stelnhardt
had Just presented to the Sunday
school. Stelnhardt was going to hon
or the affair with his presence. Our
plan then was this: I would contrive
through the new curate (whose ac
quaintance I had already made) to
get a sight of the magic lantern and
Judge of the site of Its slides; I
would straightway go Into the town
and buy a certain number of blank
alidea of that size. On these Mrs.
Freeman, who had a knack of such
things, would paint the chief scenes
of our tragedy. I mnst then prevail
upon the curate, or upon whatever
person I could learn was to have the
management of the lantern, to intro
duce them In order at the end of the
exhibition.
Cigar Brands.
There are between 1.509.000 and
J, 000.000 brands of clgara sold In this
country, and your average smoker
thinks that every brand means a dif
ferent kind of tobacco. As a matter
of fact ISO Is an outside estimate of
the different kinds- of tobacco that
can be procured from all sources, and
even experts cant tell some of these
apart
Advantages at Matrimony.
Friend Did you lose anything la
the Bustall bank?
Depositor Not a cent
"Well! well! If you knew the
thing waa going up why, didn't you
aay so?"
"I didn t know. I had to go off on
business, so I left my wife some blank
checks. She went shopping." New
Tork Weekly.
lik Matttr, Itiks Man,
"A mule." aald Mr. Erastns Pink
ley. "Is sho' one er de meanes' ani
mals dat walks on feet."
"Das so.' answered Mr. Caasius Col
liflower: "but when you considers
aome o' de human folka he haa to
work fob you can't so much blame de
mule." Washington Star.
Expert hilt Ssadtr.
"I suppose," said the physician
smiling, and trying' to appear witty
while feeling the pulse of a Indy pa
tient "I suppose you consider me aa
old hnmbug?"
"Why, doctor," replied the lady. "I
had no Idea you could ascertain a wo
man's thoughts by merely feeling her
pulse." Tld Bits.
Ta.lr Pint Wltlw.
Ills Wlfe-ttbouldu't we put some
thing In the advertlaement about our
reason for selling?
The Suburbanite Why-erto be
truthful, we might aay that we wish
to sell ou account of the weather.
Puck.
Caaae Anyway,
Mlaa It Kolletay-It was simply
dreadful! When I got ready to come
this evening I fouud I had absolutely
nothing to wear!
Olde Krustle (after a glanre)-So yoa
came anyway!-San Franclaco Bulle
tin.
HU Plana Made.
'What do you Intend to do for a llv-
lug?" asked the old gentleman III d lo
gout.
"I-aw thought I'd marry," replied
Percy, the shtnliig light of society.
Chicago News,
A Uarky Joka.
He I heati Jecm Johnson Is doing
a aliell traioe down Sour.
She How Is dat?
He Why. lie's alielling penuul.
Waatatl a Reduction.
An old colored man meandered Into
the deutnl parlor, a-roiiiMnled by til
daughter, who waa suffering from an
aching molar.
"Mawniu. boss," begun the old man
"Ah done fotcheil dia hynr gal fob ter
bah er tooth yanked out, sail,"
"All right, uncle." aald the ricntlxt.
"Shall I give her gas In deadeu the
pain?" "
"What am dat gas gwlue ter cost.
sail?" queried the venerable African.
"Fifty cents," replied the tooth
penter.
"IMk hyar. boss, dat am a heap olt
money foh to pay out reckless," Mid
the old fellow. "Kiilti't V all gilt her
er leetle gaserllne foh er qnartali?"
A Familiar ItHHMMC
Cholly I called on that pretty Mlaa
Pompadour, who clerks t the Hhhon
counter, at Sellall & Whooper's de
partment store, last night.
George Have a nice call?
Cholly No: ahe sent down word
that she was sorry, but she was "Just
out!" Pupk.
Half aad Half.
Towne Bluffer must be dolnv very
well. He tells me he has a city and
country bouse now.
Browne Tea, he's taken a small
place In the suburbs where he gets
none of the conveniences of the city.
and all the Inconvenience of the coun
try. Philadelphia Press.
t.'lterior Motive.
Oilman How do you like ymir new
ulmrbau place? Are the neighbors so
ciable?
Sobbuba They weren't until yester
day, when all the men near by came
ever and Introduced themselves.
Cltlman -Called at the hmi In a
body, eh?
Hubbubs--No, I was Just golug in the
gate carrying my tiew lawn. mower at
the time.-Philadelphia Press.
Hiatorlcal Hid Light.
Husband (mildly) -lou should re
member, my dear, that the mott pntleut
person thar ever lived was a man.
Wife (luipatieutly)-Oh, don't talk to
me about the patience of that man Job.
Just think of the patience poor Mrs.
Job must have had to enable her to
put np wiih such a man! Chicago
News.
A Poor Bpiel.
Has That Aapsraacf.
A German author describes the pre
vailing American traits ss "a bump
tious oratory," "a flippant superfic
iality," "a conetant exploitation."
and "a lack of esthetic refinement."
These must sound fearful In German.
Buffalo Express.
PUsaat far ths Cfller.
"Mamma Is dressing."
"Why, ahe needn't have dressed
Just for me, dearie."
"She knows that; but she said the
more time she killed In dressing the
less time you'd have to bore her."
Indianapolis News.
' Leekiaf Ahsad.
"But" she aald, "we are little more
that strangers as yet, you know." .
"Yes," he answered, "but don't let
that Interfere. We can break off the
engagement after we get better ac
quainted, If necessary." Chicago
Record-Herald.
Whes Ma Decided.
Bdith You know that new horse
papa named after you? Well, he's
proved to be quite worthless and papa
Is going to shoot him.
Ferdy Indeed! But I didn't know
he named him after me.
Edith Well, he didn't til! be de
cided to shoot him. Puck.
Cinematograph far th Blind.
A cinematograph for the blind has
been Invented by Dr. Dussand, a
French physician. The . successive
stages of the picture are embossed on
sheets of tin and made to revolve rap
Idly between the Angers of the blind
person. '
Of Own tt Was.
Yeast 1 was in a book store this
morning, and ssw a copy of a book
called "A Girl's Birthday," Just pub
lished. . Crimsonbeak I K suppose It was
marked down? Yonkers Statesman.
A DlHsrtat Matter,
The Beauty B-but you told papa
you could keep me In the style I
was accustomed to.
The Beast 80 I could, dear. It Is
the frequent changing Of the styles
that breaks me. Judge.
Trusts sf MarMt Men.
The Carrara marble exporters have
formed a trust which wfll affect the
price of the more than three-quarters
of a million dollars' worth of monu
ment marble the United States buys
at that Italian town.
'What did the lady say when you
told ber you wux a vegetarian. Dusty?'
'She said she wua sorry that the
grass in the front yard wasnt nign
enough, so that she could permit me
ter make a meal of It."
Wlaa Precaution.
Dick I rather think I will propose
to that Simmons girl.
Ned Well, why don't you?
Dick I am waiting to see what her
mother looks like first. Hoinervllle
Journal.
The. Modern Mberlock.
Although the lovers had closed the
parlor door the modern Hherloi k was
not the least apprehensive about bis
success.
"But now can you ten ir lie pro
poses? asked the anxious parent.
"Fear not!" assured the modem Sher
lock. "I have sprinkled tacks In tin-
rug by the sofn, snd when he goes
down on bis knees to propose you will
surely hear him." Jimt then there waa
a series of muffled yells and the tat
Ions parent handed the modern Slier
lock his check.
"Thousand Lea-a."
Mosqnlto There doemi't seem to be
much chance of recovery for Mr. (,'cntl
pede, poor fellow, he's been lick
long.
Csterplllar No, he's ou hla lust legs,
Arrival and Kacapc.
untie weu, uick, 1 suppose you
owe all Ihnt you are to your wife.
Successful Author No; I think I owe
about three-fourths of my stimulus to
all those other women who wouldn'
hare me.
The Kaaaon.
Hoax Why does a woman have to
stand In front of a mirror while she I
dresslug?
Joax I suppose because she wants
to see everything that goes oh.
LETTERS TO A K1N0.
POSTMAN'S DAILY DELIVERY AT
WINDSOR CASTLE.
Nothing lo
Mamma-Why. WlUta, you'll make
yourself alck. Juat aa aure aa yoa eat
another piece of that pie you'll be alck
to-morrow.
Wlllle-Well, I don't care; to-mor
row alut no hollday.-Phlladelubla
Press.
The Laaae Waa Ktgaed.
"Rut the parlor la so awfully mail,''
said the prospective tenant.
Yea, and the parlors In the adjoin
ing hounea are Juat aa small." replied
the agent. "Tuat'a the beauty of It"
"Ttiafa not much comfort fur me."
"O! yes. You aee, neither of your
neighbors has room for a pi
Philadelphia Press.
Aa Kttreaae Caae.
Illcbiuoiid-Tliey ear Meeklelgh la
awfully henpecked.
nronxborough I ahould say he la.
Why, It's a positive relief te that waa
when hia uivtaer-iu-law couiee te visit
him. Judge,
What Baa 'eared.
"You look worried to-night William,"
aald the rural editor's wire. "Auytblug
wrong?" ,
"Well, rather." replied the local
molder of oplutona. "An Indignant
suhacrlber came Into the office thia
afternoon and nearly punched the life
out of our person."
"My goodness r exclaimed the power
behind the press. "I hope he dldnt
stop his paper.'
What He Thangkt.
Grsstua-A Inbly book fo' yo' blrfdiy
Miss Irene.
Miss IreneWho is tt by?
Eraatua I ain't got man spectacles.
but It looks lalk Ella Squeeter Pillbox.
Reasonable la-aa.
"I'm lu court." reads a card on the
lawyer's door; "At the hospital" ap
pears on the doctor's slate; "Be back In
an hour," aay several more, while
others Invite one to "Hit down and
wait." "(ion to the bank," ia the
broker's sign; "Back soon," Is found
on tbe Ice dealer's hook; "Hick In bed,"
Is the dentist's so says hla book
'Twas everywhere thus, so, with notb
Ing to do, I hied me away to the base
ball ground; ind there, strange to say,
yet none the leas true, each of tbe
above In the grand stand I found.
Judglna by the Price.
'This Is a picture hat" said the foud
wife, showing her husband the new
piece of millinery.
"Picture hat?" murmured the gentle
husband, moodily gaslng at the bill
wblcb had accompanied It "It must
be by one of tbe old masters." Bait;
more American.
AWtaaar.
I Montt-Tibbeua la original., II
was afraid to approach the old minor
for his daughter's baud, so be wrote a
postal.
I-a Moyne Of course be got turned
down?
La Montt Not at all. Tbe old miser
said any one as economical as Tlbbeus
deterred bia daughter's baud.
He Had a Coaeclanca.
Husband-1 think we bad better give
up our pew In church during the sum
mer months, my dear.
Wife-Why should we do that?
Husband-Well, I'm going Into the
Ice business, and If there Is oue thing
I detest mora than another It Is a hypo
crlte. . ,
Only roaaihla. 1
"It would be a funny trick on J. 1
Morgan." ,
"What would?"
"Why, If by tbe time be bought v
ery ship on the Atlantic we should stnrt
to travel by airship." Chicago News.
Old Geography of Illinois.
Illinois is always classed at a Norili
eru Htate, which is proper, for Its nortl
ern boundary Is on tbe same parallel as
Windsor, Canada. In spite of thl
classification, however, Cairo, at 1Ih
southern extremity of the State, Ilea 011
tbe thirty-seventh parallel of latitude
and this parallel forma the northern
boundary of Texas, Indian Territory,
Oklahoma, New Mexico, and Arizona.
it runs throngh the State of Virgin!
uenr Fortress Monroe, and cuts tba
Htnte of Kentucky forty miles north of
Tennessee and Arkansas. Cairo It
seventy-five miles south of Frankfort
ami Louisville, In Kentucky, and Is
over a hundred miles south of Coving
ton, In the same State. While Illinois
Is truly Northern, It extends Into ' tbe
very heart of the South,
t
Br Papa's Ryetem.
"How mauy quorta In a gallon?"
asked the teacher. ' '
"Hlx," answered the little son of tbe
market man.
"No, no, Johnny.' Only four." ,;
"Huh, 1 guess I've seen 'em sell
enough strawberries to know," Bsltl
more American.
of wealth, in "tder that they may tint
Mall t snail Bring Alwnt Wa linn-
4r4 Letter Kvary I"t"'
Hoara-How Th Ar fortc.l,
and Finally Piapoaed Of.
Though th King s dally movements
are fully chroulcled la the newspapna
ind the "Court Circular,- mra
many thing his majesty doe of which
the public has little knowledge. "Hlats
business." upon which the King Is em
ployed every uwrnlug. cover a w"M-
tude of urgeut mailers, from ine
lug of au autograph letter to a neigh
boring sovereign seiecuou w. -eunoMtlun
dealiru: and there are, of
course, number of official dispatches
which require the royal signature.
It la not generslly hoown, noaerer,
that his majesty preserves a carwui
supervision ever the answers which
are eent te the hundred of correspon
dents dally writing to the King. u
in average, th Klug's dally letter 01
contain tW letters, and about half a
many newspapers, books, circulars, etc.
Needle to aay. this gigantic ueuv.rj
needs th aaslaiauc of a body of pri
vate clerke. over whom Blr Frauds
Knollya, the King's private secretary.
nKle control.
All letter! ind parcels, with tb ex
ception of those which ar quickly rec
ognised ai being "personal to his ml-
at"-L a. which contain a oistuic-
tlv private mark, mutually prearrang
ed, on tba snvelou or cover-are open
ed by the secretaries, and distriuuieu
in boxea. separately labeled, according"
to thalr nature aud content. These
boxes are then carefully examined and
checked by Mr Frauds Knollya. and
(boa letter! of an urgent character
requiring the consideration of bis ma
jesty are retained by the private sec
retary and ar laid before the ving,
who Indicates In a few words his plea
are concerning tbeui.
It la surprltlttg-and baa often aston
Ished those In receipt of repllee-how
rapidly ao answer is dispatched from
th royal residence. Many a time hat
a correspondent whose letter has been
received by Sir Km nets Knollys by th
first morning delivery, obtalued a re
ply lb same night. Intimating that ;h
first missive baa been "laid before
King." Many lettere-tboe emauat
Ing from cranks, faddlati snd notorloua
beggar, thoae making linpoaaibi re
queue and those of a purely commer
cial character-art never aubmltted to
ble majenty, but are either Ignored or
ttereotyped replies ar aent accord
log le tbe subject of the letter.
Tbli much can be truthfully said
The areatttt courtesy aul dellcac;
have alway chincteriied bis majes
tj's public correspondence, and many
Instance could be qnoted wher bis
secretary haa gone out of hi way lo
explain at leugth the Klug's objection
to some application, or hia majesty s
reluctance at belug unable lo comply
lib some request. Hluc the new
reign began the typewriter ha beea
Introduced In the palace, and many 'e
plies, formal and otherwise, are now
typed lo violet Ink. In the late reltfti
th private secretaries were supposed
to. and actually did, writ every letter
with their own pent, but when Kdward
VII. aacenled the throne a modern
change was quickly Introduced, savlnu
a targe amount of time and labor.
All sorts of condition of people
writ to th King. Many of the envel
opes bear no stsiups. as If Buckingham
alace were a government on) re, and
some are boldly addressed In a pencil
scrawl.
Th Fast Kml postmark la a predom
inant feature: there are many poor peo
ple, who, alaa! fondly believe the KI.14
can redress their grievances and mltl-
gat their woe by a wave of his hand,
It la no secret, however, that In sev
eral Inatances, after discreet Inquiries
have been made, suffering has been re
lieved In poor districts as th result of
s tetter to the King of Queen. Usual
ly th channel of relief 1 one of the
philanthropic societies, of which tilt
majesty Is either a patron or Interested
In, to whose office the deserving letter
It privately forwarded.-Indon Kx-press.
realisation of th fad that wrnli'i
alone due not bring liait s-sst come
only after It Is loo lul to effect a
i-hange. The delusion that there Is no
mora satisfying purpose than th ac
cumulation of money I the chief ub
st.i. le In th way of man' hiitqiliieo.
JEWEL OF A DOMESTIC
Hh IM4 Nul Mar Luna, bat Hid Nut
Mttal Anything
"I Imagine people must gel tired of
hearing their neighbor complalu iIhjiii
th question of domestic help," remark,
ed a wouiau lu the goverumeut aervlc
to a f rleud.
I gues they do acquiesced 111
friend, "but then you know we ill bav
tuch t roubles, aud when w hear Jitt
er relate their experience w rau
say, 'I bar trouble of my own.'"
The woman who started th couve.-
satton told bow many domestics alio
bad employed during a short period vt
time, aud how they bad not giveu sat
isfaction.
Finally," sh said. "I sought relief
by doing what I thought wit la act
of charity, aud it the lime getting a
woman who I llioughl would b a Jew
el Hh was 1 white woman, th Urst
woman of my own color I bad vr
employed."
This woman, she explalued, wa tak-
eu from an luatitmiou wuer a great
amount of charity la done. Hue wa
given the best room In tbe bouse, aud
lo lb morning when break Taut was
over ah buudled up th dlahe lu a
burry and gave th appearauc of liv
ing a willing and rapid worker. In tba
afternoon when ber employer returned
borne th dlahe were atlll piled where
she bad aeen Ibeut lu th morulug.
Th washtub, boiler aud Irons bad bei-u
used by lh woman, who had evidently
washed and Iron ber own garments an t
departed. (In the Is hie wa a uui
which read: "My dear Mrs, , I
found th work was loo bard for me,"
"Hill ah was 1 Jewel, Ifter all," con
cluded th woiiiru who had been her
employer, for so short a time, iceordiug
to lb Washington Htar, "for tbe did
not steal anything."
Ho Nwretly Inuuoeut,
11 bad been to tbe boarding school to
pay a aurprlse vl!l to hi daughter, hit
only child. He bad parted from ber,
proud lo be the parent of aut b a hand
soma maiden, pleawd with the lun
renc of budding womanhood, Tim
principal acnnipatilfd Uliu to the door,
"Madam," be said, with deep fil ling,
"1 ow you much for th manner in
which you have reared uiy child since
the ba been under your carv, Wlieu (
notice the contrast between that Inno
cent mslditi and some of the girls of
her age, who have iml hml the advan
tage f such nlrlft supervision, I feel
Ihnt I bav Indeed done w isely In pine
Ing her In your charge,"
"And how proud yo lliUi' lie," saUl
the principal, glowing with satisfac
tion, "lo be the (si her of mi Urge and
devoted a family."
"Jjirgw-devolcd!" gdpcd the proud
pr.rrni. "What do you meiiiir
licvoird lo each other," said tbe
principal, "No fewer than seven of
Clara's brothers have been here during
the past three week lo lake her out,
and she Is eectlng another to uiur-
ow." l.Olldilll Tit Hits.
BAD FEATURE8 OF CIVILIZATION.
II Itoee Not Insure Good Dla-Mtion,
Which laths Has I of Health.
Some feature of civ II lied Ufa are not
wholesome. It doea not Insur a per
fect digestion, which la the basis of
good health, to use West Philadelphia
city water. - It Is not healthful to
breathe sewer gat In housca the plumb
ing of which has been passed by an
liisiector who receives Christmas gifts
from tbe plumber, There ar many
other conditions wblcb ire not favora
ble to the best physical health. How
ever, In aplte of other drawbacks and
disadvantages, there la every warrant
to affirm that never has th standard
of health, strength snd agility been at
high as It Is to-day. Though an Indoor
life Is vicious lu Its Influence, the men
arid women of to-day-and eapecinlly
tno women are capaoie or a greater
physical endurance than baa even heen
known before. The flint and heat proof
of this la that at tbe ige when our
grandalres and their dames took their
places In the chimney corner as capitlil.
only or a vegetatue existence, the men
and women of to-day are at their best.
and, as Dr. Stevenson complains, the
grandmothers are demanding tbe right
to run for public pince, Instead of being
content to knit stockings. A believer
In the physical superiority of the sav
age brought out the grent-gritndson of
a famous Indian sprinter to pit hint
against the white runners of the col
leges., Even after systematic training
ne waa oenten uy amateurs. Ills cole-
urnieu nncesior nau aoreatea every
white runner ben and In England, hut
hi record hat been surpassed long
since.
i.ue in me open air is necessary to
(te best health, but there la no reason
why the modern conveniences should
he abandoned. On every hand a"
proof of the physical superiority of
the men and women of today over the
people or any other known period. The
rules of wholesome living are bnller
understood ind ire more generally oh
served. It needs only for men to
fnln from business excesses, from dls
tlpntlng their energies In the pursuit
Km Psrsley After Unions.
It will be Information to good tunny
reader that by fitting parsley after
onions one may prevent the offeuslv
breath which otherwise follow Indul
gence lu the tearful vegetable. . 'i'hi
Information come from a restaurateur,
who says:
"Yes. you mny eal bushel of onhms
and a Utile parsley takeu afterward
will leave yoll so thai Sherlock Holmes
himself would be unable to say wli.it
you bad been feeding on. Thai Is the
truth, and I wish umre people were
aware of tt, For onions, which art tho
most wholesome things In the world,
would be as popuhir a they ire whole-
some If this mntier of the pursley were
more widely known. Another tblug,
old cbeess, melted slightly, makes
inluce pie digestible. You may bn n
confirmed dyspeptic, but If you will
tprend ou the top crust of your mince
pie a thin layer of rich old KnglUli
cheese, I promise Hint you may eat the
pastry without any aftermath of re-
mors aud pln."-Chlcago Chronicle. ,
Trouble of the Ulobe.
My lord," isked Hhakapeara, 11 he
ind Bacon atnlled nut of the Ulobe foy
er and sat down lu tbe box office te
watch tbe treasurer count up, "why ar
my wrltlngt known at Mayt,' wbll
youra are called 'works'!"
"Give it up, Will," taid Sir Franclt,
"unless It Is because my writing tl-
wiyi fit the rite."
Nawl" miffed the bard of Avon,
"It's beciuM you think they're item
winders."
Annoyed at this tally. Lord Hncon
remarked that he didn't like to be lilt
by a bain, but Hhakspeare retorted th.it
a Bacon wit every bit at bad as a 1m 111,
and more streaked, and not coring to
hear any inort sample of tiloba re
partee the eminent sintesman, to get
oven, went outside and told people that
the show wts fierce.-'Portland Oregon
Ian. .
Whistling Langnago U.ed.
Theaborlglnet of tlm Mnlulmr Island
employ a perfect whistling language,
by means of which they can communi
cate with each oilier over long ills
lances. A alrnnger wandering over the
Islands Is freqnenily surprised lo hear
from a hilltop the sound ()f loud whistl
ing, which It quickly repeated on t.m
next bill, and so It carried from summit
to summit until It die away In t ho dis
tance. American Looms Aliroad.,
American ribbon loom, ore being Im
ported by Hwlst manufacturers. These
looms are much more expensive tltnti
those made In Switzerland, even leav
ing freight and duties out of account,
but the manufacturers find it profit
tide to use tliein because of their great
solidity of 'construction and the much
larger n mount of work they do.
A boy Is usually ready fb ent every,
time he stops playing.
n r-1