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About The Hillsboro argus. (Hillsboro, Or.) 1895-current | View Entire Issue (June 6, 1901)
JpgBjjjjflKEBjp I BY HARYJUHOIJIES I CHAPTER VIll.-iCoBUBwd.) Ob moraine about two weeks arter ward Mary was in the meadow gathering cowslips (or dinner wan she heard aom a calling her name: and looking np, she ui Jenny hurrying toward her, her sunbonnet hanging down her back, as usual, and her rheeka flashed with vio lent exercise. As soon ai she cam up ah began with, "Oh. tuy, ain't I hot and tired, and I can't stay a minute, either, for I ran away. But I had auch good news to tell yoo, that I would come. You arc going to hare great deal better horn than this. Yon know where Rice Corner is, the district over east? Mart replied that she did, and Jenny continued: "he aU went over there yes terday to see Mrs. Mason. She's a real nice lady, who aaed to lire in Boston, and be intimate with ma, nntil three or four yeara ago when Mr. Mason died. We didn't go there any more then, and I asked Row what the reason was, and she said Mrs, Mason waa poor now, and ma had 'cut her,-" and when 1 asked her what ahe cut her with, ahe only laughed, and said she bettered I didn't know any thing. But sine then I've teamed what it means." "What doea It?" naked Mary and Jenny replied: "It a person dies and lea res no money, a matter how good his folka are, or how much yon like them, yon mustn't know them when yon meet them In the street, or yon most cross otct the other side it yon see them coming; and then when la dies call and speak about them, yon mnst draw a great, long breath, and won der how the poor thing will get along, ahe waa so dreadfully extravagant' I positively heard mother say those very words about Mrs. Mason; and what Is so funny, the washworasn the same day spoke of ber, and cried when the told how kind ahe waa, and how ahe would go without things herself for the sake of giv ing to the poor." After a moment's pause Jenny proceed ed: "This Mrs. Mason' came into the country and bought the prettiest, little cottage yon ever saw. She haa lota of nice fruit, and tor all mother pretends in Boston that ahe doea not visit ber, just a soon an the fruit is ripe she always goes there. Pa saya it'a real mean, and he should think Mrs. Mason would see through it." rHd you go there for fruit yesterday r jJh, no, returned Jenni, "Mother . sne was urea to aeau wun staying at home. Besides that, sha heard some thing in Boston about a large eatae In England,' Which possibly would fall to ' Mr. Mason, and ahe thought it would te real kind to go and tell her. Mrs. Mason has poor health, and while we were there ahe asked mother if ahe knew of any good little girt she could get to come and live with her; 'one,' she said, who could be quiet when her head ached, and who wonld read to her and wait on her at other times.' Mother said aha did not know of any, but when Mrs. Mason went out to get tea, I followed and told her of yon, and the tears came into ber eyes when I said your folka were all dead, and yon were alone and sorry. She said right off that ahe would come round and aee yon soon, and if she liked yon you should lira with her." So saying, she ran off; Mary, having gathered her cowslips, sat down to think of Mrs. Mason, and wonder if she should ever see her. That afternoon, when the dishes were all washed, she, as usual, stole away to her books. Sha had not been long occupied ere some one called her, saying Mr. Knight was downstairs and wasted to see her, and that there waa a lady with him. Mary readily guessed that the lady must be Mrs. Mason, and carefully brush ing her hsfr and tying on a elean apron, ahe descended to the kitchen, where she wss met by Mr. Knight, who called out, "Hallo! my child, how do you do? 'Pears to me you've grown handsome. It agrees with yon to live here, I reckon, but I'll venture you'll be glad enough to leave and go and live with her, won't you?" pointing toward lady who waa just coining from Mrs. Parker's room and to ward whom Mary'a heart instantly warm ed. "Yon aee," continued Mr. Knight, "one of the Lincoln girls has taken a mighty abine to yon, and it'a queer, too, for they're dreadful stuck-up folks." "If yon please, sir," aaid Mary, Inter rupting him, "Jenny Isn't a bit stuck-up." "Umphr returned Mr. Knight "She does not belong to the Lincoln race, then, I guess. I know them, root and branch. Lincoln's wife used to work In the fac tory at Southbridge, but she's forgot all about that and holds ber hesd dreadful high whenever ahe sees me. But that's neither her nor there. This woman wants yon to live with ber. Miss Mason, this la Mary. Mary, this Is Miss Mason." The introduction being thus happily over, Mrs. Mason proceeded to ask Mary a variety of questions, and ended by say ing sha thought ah would take her, al though ahe would rather not have her come for few days, as she was going to be absent Mis Grundy was now inter- rogated concerning her knowledge of . work, and with quite a consequential air she replied: "Perhaps, ma'am, it looks too much like praising myself, considerin' that I've had the managin' of her mostly, but I must confess that she's lived with me so long, and got my ways so well, -, that she'a aa pleasant a mannered, good tempered child, and will scour as bright a knife as you could wish to seer' Saturday came at last and long before the sun peeped over the eastern hills Mary was np and dressed. Just as she waa ready to leave her room she heard Rally singing in a low tone, "Oh, there'll be mourning ourning mourning mourning; Oh, there'll be mourning when Mary's gone away." About nine o'clock Mr. Knight drove up alone, Mrs. Mason being sick with nervous headache.- "I should have been here sooner, said he, "but the roads is awful rough, and old Charlotte has got stub or somethln' in her foot But where' the gal? Ain't she ready?'. He waa answered by Mary herself, who made her appearance, followed by Billy hearing the box. And now commenced the leave takings. Miss Grundy's turn coming first - "May I kiss yon, Miss Grundy f said Mary. Mia Grundy bent down and re ceived the child'a kiss, and then darting off into the pantry, went to ekimmlug pias of milk already iklmmed. Uncle t'eter between times kept ejaculating : C. Lord: oh. massy eakel-oh, for lr"d!" Billy knew It would be lonely t. Mt Mary, but be was glad to have her go to a better home, so he tried to be cheerful. Aside from alio. Sally waa the only composed one. It is true her eyes were very bright and there was a compression about her mouth seldom seen, except just before one of her frentied attacks. Oc casionally, too, ahe pressed her bauds up on her head, and walking to the sink, bathed tt in water, aa it to cool its in ward heat CHAPTER IX. Very different this time was Mary'a ride with Mr. Knight from what it had been some months before, and after brushing away a frw natural tears, and sending back a tew heart-sighs to the lov ed ones left behind, her spirits rallied, and by the time they reached the borders of Rica Corners there was sm-h a took of quiet happiness on her face that even Mr. Knight noticed It. As they rode on Mary fancied that the country looked pleasanter and the houses better than in the region of the poorhouse; and when a sudden turn of the road brought Into view a beautiful blue sheet of water, em bosomed by bright green hiMs, her delight knew no bounds. Springing up and point ing toward it she exclaimed: "Oh. please stop a moment and look. Isn't it lovely? What la itr "That? Oh. tb;'a nothing but Tor dunk Pond,' or as folk most generally cat! 'em, seein' there's two. North and Sooth Tond." "How far is the pond from Mr. Ma son's?" asked Mary, easting longiug glance toward the distant sandy beach and the graceful trees which drooped over the water's edge. "It's fsrther back than 'tis there, 'cause it's uphill all the way," said Mr. Knight "bnt here we be at Miss Mason's this house right here," and he poiuted to a neat handsome cottage, almost bidden from view by the dense foliage which surrounded it There waa a long lawn in front and into, the carriage road on the right of it Mr. Knight turned, and driving up to a side door, said to Mary, . "Come, jump down, for my foot Is so lame I don't be lieve I'll get out. But there's your chest You can't lift that Halloo! Judith, com ere, . In answer to this call a fat pleasant- looking colored woman appeared in the doorway, and aa if fresh from the regions of cookdom wiped the drops of perspira tion from her round, jolly face. "Here, Judith." said Mr. Knight "help this gal lift her traps out" Judith complied, and then bidding eld Charlotte to "get up," Mr. Knight drove away, leaving Mary atanding by the kitchen door. "Come in and ait down," said Judith, pushing a chair toward Mary with her foot It a as hot here ai an oven, but I had crambry aass and ginger snaps, and massy knows what to make this morning and I got belated; but set down and make yourself to home." Mary took the proffered seat and then Judith left the room for a few moments, saying when she returned that aa Mrs. Mason was atill Buffering from a head ache, she could not see Mary nntil after dinner. "And," continued Judith, "she told me to entertain you, but I don't know , what to aay nor do first Harry died ' just a week to a day before be was to be married, and so I never had any little girls to talk to. Can t you think of some thing to tain about What have you been used to doing? ' , , "Washing dishes," was Mary'a reply, "Wall," answered Judith, "I guess you won't have that to do here for one night; when some or the neighbors were in I heard Miss Mason tell 'em that ahe got yon to read to her and wait on her. And then she said something about your not having an equal chance with your sister. You nan t bnt one, now t other a dead, have you?" Mary replied in the negative, and Ju dith continued: "Wail, now you've got over the first on't, I reckon you's glad the baby a dead, for she must have been kind of a bother, wasn't she?" Instsntly Mary'a thoughts flew back to an empty cradle, and again a little golden head waa pillowed upon her breast, as often in times past It had been, and as it would never be again. Covering her face with ber hands, she sobbed, "Oh, Allie, Allie: I wish she hadn t died!" Judith looked en In amazement nd for want of something better to do placed a fresh stick of wood In the store, mutter ing to herself, "Now, I never! I might of knew I didn't know what to say. What a pity Harry died. I'll give her that big ginger snap the minute it'a baked. See if I don't" Accordingly, when the snap wal done, Judith placed It In Mary's bands, bidding her eat it quick, and-then go-up and see the nice chamber Mrs. Mason had ar ranged for her. "Come," said Judith; and leading the way, She conducted Mary op the stair case, and through a light ry hall to the door of a small room, which she opened, saving. "LooH, ain't it pretty?' Mary's heart was too full to speak, and for several minutes she stood silent, With the exception of her mother's pleasant parlor in old England, she bad never be fore seen anything which seemed to her so cosy and cheerful as did that little room, with its single bed, snowy counter pane, muslin curtains, clean matting, con venient toilet table, and what to ber was fairer than all the rest upon the mantel piece there stood two small vases, filled with sweet flowers, whose fragrance fill ed the apartment with delicious perfume, All this was so different from the bare walls, uncovered floors and rickety furni ture of the poorhouse that Mary trem bled lest it should prove a dream from which ere long she would awake. , When Mary was finally sent- for by Mrs. Mason she had been so much accus tomed to sick persons Jmt she knew in tuitively just what to do and when to do it, and her step was so light, her voice so low, and the hand which bathed the aching head so soft and gentle in its touch that Mrs. Mason involuntarily drew her to her bosom, and kissing her lips, called her her child, and said she should never leave her; then, laying back in her easy chair, she remained perfectly still, while Mary alternately fixed her buir end smoothed her forehead, nntil she fell into a quiet slumber, from which she did not awake until Judith rang the bell for sup per, which waa neatly laid out !n a little dining parlor, opening into the flower gar den. There was something so very social and cheering In the appearance of the t(Mit, and the arrangement of tlio table, with Its glossy white cloth, and dishes of the same hue. that Mary felt almost aa mnch like weeping a aba did on the n'i,ht of her arrival at the poorhouse. But Mrs. Mason seemed to know exactly how to entertain her; and by the time that Erst tea was over there waa hardly a happier child in the world than was Mary. Mrs. Mason soon dismissed bet to her own room, where she for some time amused herself with watching the day tight aa It gradually disappeared from the hills which lay beyond the pond. Then when tt all waa gone, and the stars be gan to come out sh turned ber eye toward one which had always seemed t her to be her mother' soul looking down upon her from the window of heaven. Now to-night there shone beside It a smaller, feebler one, and in the fleecy clouds which floated around it ah fan cied ahe could define the tac ot her baby sister. Involuntarily atretching out her hands, ah cried, "Oh, mother! Allte! I am so happy now;" and to the child's Im agination the stars smiled lovingly upon her. while the evening wind, aa it gently moved the boughs of the tsll elm tret, seemed like the rustle ot angels' wings. Who shall say the mother s spirit waa not there to rejoice with her daughter rer the glad future opening so brightly before her? (To be continued.) NO WONDER HE WAS BALKED. tKaacaltlea the Fiwachssaa Eapsrh sawed la Larala Kosrltehw A Frenchman thirsting for linguistic superiority recently began a count of Eugllsh lessons with a teacher of lan guages. After lotung conscientiously ; through a good many exerclsea tb fol low lug dialogue betweeu the pupil and his master waa overheard: I dud the English very difficult," complained the Frenchman. "How do you pronounce to-ugh?" "It I pronounced tuff. "Eh, blen, tuff;'. 'snuff.' then, Is apelt s-n o-u g h. Is It not r' "Oh, no; "suurr Is spelt s n u ff. As a matter of fact, words ending in o-n-g-h are somewhat Irregular." "I see; s superb language: T-o-u-g-h la tuff and c-o-u-g-h Is 'cuff. I bav a very bad cuff." "No; It Is coff.' not cuff. " "Very well; cuff, tuff and coff. And du g-h is 'duff,' ehr "No. not 'duff.'" "'Doff.' then?- ' "No; 'doh.' " "Well, then, what about h-o-u g b?" "That Is pronounced 'hock. " " 'Hockr Then I suppose the thing the farmer uses, the p-I-o-o-g-h. M pluff.' or Is tt 'pblock,' or plor Fin language "plo. " -' "No, no; It Is prouounced "plow. " "I shall soon master English, I am sure. Her we go. 'now,- -con,' tuny 'hock,' and . now here Is another r-o-u-g h; that Is "row,' I suppose?" Ou, no, my friend; that's 'ruff again." "And bo-o-g-h Is 'buffr " "No; thst happens to be "bow. " "Yes, wonderful language. And I have just e-n-o-u-g-h of it; that's 'enou,' Is It notr No; 'ennff.,M - Sheffield Weekly News. .- Peace with H An old Indian, says Joaquin Miller in his recent book, True Bear Stories," was terribly frightened by an old mon ster grixxly and her half-grown cub one autumn, while out gathering manzun Ita berries; but badly as he was fright ened be wss not even scratched. It seems that while be hnd his bead raised, and -was busy gathering and eating berries, he almost stumbled over a bear and her cub. They had eaten their fill and bad fallen asleep In the trail on tbe wooded hillside. The old Indian had only time to turn on his heel snd throw himself headlong Into tbe large end of a hollow log, wirier luckily hiy at hand. This was only a temporary refuge; bnt he soon saw, to his delight that the tog was open at tbe other end, snd corkscrewing bis way along toward tbe farther end be was about to emerge wben he saw tbe old mother sitting down, quietly waiting for him. After recovering bis breath be elbow ed and corkscrewed himself back to the place at which be first entered. But lo! the bear was there, sitting down, half smiling snd waiting to receive hliu. This, the old Indian said, was repeat ed time sfter time till he bad no longer strength to struggle. He turned on his face, whereupon the bear thrust ber bead In, touched the top of his' head gently with her nose, and then drew back, took her cub with - her, and shuffled sway. sir. Miller went to tbe spot with the Indian a day or two after, and was convinced that bis story was exactly true; and when you understand that tbe bear could easily hare entered tbe hollow log and killed the Indian at any time, you will see that tt must have been a sense of humor which caused her .to plajr the cat-and-mouse game with him. Lady "Bobs" and Her Trunks. There Is a story going around about Lady Roberts and ber trunks, for tbe truth of which, says the Westminster Gazette, a man returning from South Africa vouches. At the height of the transport difficul ties, Lady Roberts carried eight large trunks from Cape Town to Bloemfon- tein In tbe very teeth of tbe officers, Everybody wondered, everybody grumbled. No one but Lady Roberts could hire taken the things through. The transport of stores bad been stop ped for the time, tbe sick lacked every comfort and hpae who were not sick were half-starved and only half-clad. Therefore, wben a fatigue party was told off to fetch those eight trunks from Bloemfonteln station, some rather uu complimentary things were said about women travelers In general and this latest transgressor In particular. Next day seven of the eight trunks wore unpacked, and their contents dis tributed among tbe soldiers. The clever lddy bad snapped her fingers at red tape, snd bsd smuggled through com forts for tbe men. One small trunk con tained her personal belongings. ' Sea Fish in Lake Ontario. The deepening of the St. Lawrenct canal system bas bad other result! than to allow tbe passage of ocean going freightage. Following In the wake of the vessels sea herrings have made their appearance In Lake On tario, end arc being eagerly captured by the fishermen, ' Preliminary Stops. ..."Are you educating your chlU wltb View to his future college cweer?" ."On. yes; be's got to begin next week and take a drop of tabasco sauc three times a. day," TAX COLLECTION IN CHINA. Fetalis Perpetrated l the Pvapl mmi I poa the tleveraaaeat. The Chinese plenipotentiaries are ob jecting, of cove?, to the amount of In demnity demauded by the powers, sud representing (hat It will cripple the re source of China for years to come; but examination showa that tli Interest and sinking fund ot th capital sum can be easily met with S very !emett tary reform In the financial system ot tb empire. - An euoruioua saving can be made by doing away with th tribute rice system. At preseut two great rice growing province. Anhal sud Klao.-su, are obliged to send up to Peklu annual ly aomcthlug over 1.0U0.000 tona of rle. Tbla Is supposed to be collected In kind from the farmer, but the officials real ly collect the tag In mouey, fixing th rate at which the farmers commute at about two snd a half times th market price. The required quantity of rice la then bought In the market by tb offi cials, and ber the Government begin ivy losing three-fifths of th money actu ally paid by the farmer. This rice Is then shipped In junks by th Grand Canal, and In steamer by th sea route to Tien tsin, snd SO per cent Is allowed for waste and damage on the way. A further loss accrues to the Govern ment In that the crews of the junks sl- wsys tske a quantity ot general cargo on their own account, on which they pay no duties, the junk being protected by the Imperial flag. Wben It gels to Pekln the rtcewhst Is left ot It-la put In the Imperial gransries snd Is freely pilfered by the officials, good rice being taken out and old grain, mud, aud rub bish of all kinds being substituted. The pensioners of the Government snd the troops do not get this Hoe, ss they are supposed to do; tbey get warrants for a certain quantity, which they are obliged to exchange at the rice shops, where tbey are given, perhaps, 30 per cent ot the race value of the warrant The In genious can calculate what th Govern ment would save If It still collected the tax In money in tbess provinces, and then paid Its pensioners snd trxps In mouey, allowing them to buy tb.tr rice In the open market. A much larger sav ing could be made If the present syetem of taxation and d'srrlbutloa of salt were abolished, and the salt were bought by tbe Government where It Is cheapest and sold at th present average price. At present enormous "squeexes are made by tbe officials out of salt as w:i rice. There will le snoiher grest econ omy to tbe Government when the llkln Is merged In the duties collected by the Imperial maritime customs, as will. It Is hoped, be arranged. Shanghai cor respontieuce London Standard. FREDERICK LUST IS DEAD. CoaapoMr of Mw !.,." P.u Away la Poverty. Of thousands who have thrilled to the tender melody of "My Rosary." few know of the pathetic Inspiration of the song. It was the last effort of dying musk-Ian, dedicated to a beau tlful girt who had brightened bta aad life by her sympathy. Frederick Lust, the composer, came from Germany about thirty -fire years ago, pursue I then sud to his death by ibe sorrow of a lovers' quarrel and separation. In his art be made a splen did success. He became organist of a l.l'ST A.VD HIS tfttPIRATIn. ermout cburcp at sa.ouo a year, ao opera of bis was produced, and his other compositions won wide popular ity, the famous "Trilby Walts" alone bringing him a small fortune. He trav eled widely, and spent bis money wltb a free hand. But as he grew older bis health fail ed and his fortune shrunk until be bad nothing left II lived for a time In San Francisco, then In Colorado Springs, In Chicago and Boston. In this last named olty be was Instructor for a large choral soclefy. Finally, he became conductor tor tbe Marie Bell Opera Co. But the season was not a success, and tbe company disbanded In Clarksvllle, Teun. Lust was left with out money, broken In health and spirit Attracted by bis gentle patience, strangers who met him became bis friends. Tbey obtained pupils for blm, and also contributed personally to his support. Among those be taught was tbe beau tlful Rosa Walker, whose picture ap pears here. Often she used to send blm flowers to brighten bis lonely stu dlo, or delicacies to tempt him when be was 111. One day last fall, while play lng an accompaniment to her singing, bs fell In a swoon. Wben he revived the girl was bending over him. The thought of her kindness overcame blm, "Your name Is Rosa," bo said. shall write a song to you. It will be my last, When It Is finished I shall go." When he reached bis stndlo he began work on the composition and tolled all night, despite his weakness. At dawn be had completed "My Rosary," and carried the manuscript to the girl's home, where she sang It for blm. Then he went back to his room to die. While he lay 111 the song traveled far, and was sung from one end of tbe country to tbe other. The young girl sent him flowers every day, and was with blm when he died. She sang "My Rosary" at his funeral, and on the grave of ber dead, friend placed mound of the roses that he bad loved In his last days. OUTDOOR PANTRY. Fresh Air Pood Psfe Cond acted la Pe culiar foathsrn Style. Pantry requirements are a trifle par adoxical, In that they are air and light and darkness. A pantry window Is es sential, even If It be no more than a tiny two-light sliding sash, set anyhow In tbe outer walL A regular window Is much better. It need not waste wall-space-sbelves, but can be so placed serosa It ss to admit Its working. But If a pantry ran be allotted as much ss six feet of house wall It la better to have the window set crosswise, with th lower edge a little more than breast high. Then, by making on aash ot glass, and tilling tbe other with win. gauae, th pautry can bav a handy outdoor closet Have a tight deal par tition running out from tbe sash di vision, as far as the space permit. Put shelves arouud three aide of th two compartments thus formed, and close tbera with tight light deal doors. Tuns th Indoor pautry can subserve Its proper purposes, snd tb outside closet banish the Iceman for six months In the year. People with plenty of ground space. yet constricted houses, may profitably take a lest from th book of south country household economy, tt Is com mon there for country folk to bav a sort of outdoor fresh air closet a small detached structure set In the shadiest plac possible, standing upon four tall A VNKSR Aia soon AS. tegs, with a flat shingle roof of barely enough pitch to shed ralu. The floor Is at least four feet from tb ground, and the whol structure hardly big enough to reach well across. There ar shelves all around, and the weath erboardlng up next the roof la full ot tiny auger hole. Toe door fits tight and fastens wltb a lock. Around each of tb four legs Is commonly a tar bandage, applied six Inches abov th ground This traps reuturesom ants. spiders and their kidney, thus keeping the Inside clear, Tb structure Is whitewashed Inside and out twice a year. In hot weather floor aud shelves are washed every morning, and scoured twice a week. 8ucb a fixture should not cost over three or four dollars, even If one hires It built, and It Is certainly among the handiest things on can bar about th bo us or yard.. "Hal or the Itale Abroad. A aSatllrAtS.it iWtl t Mntna faVhs ha -ttiat tm isuiiwaiu kuunai awn r uw hsi , returned rrom abroad tells or sn experi ence that befell him In Munich Illustra tive of the difference In prevailing cus tom. Armed with a number of letters of Introduction to European railroad officials, he made It a point to lniU'.r Into tbe workings ot the vsrlotis sys tems, and was treated with tiu'form courtesy. At Munich he thought he had ac quired all tbe Information he was after, snd as he passed out ot the office of tbe man with whom be had beea talk ing be put on bis hat He had scarcely been ushered out wben It occurred to him that there was on mst'er about which he bad forgotten to Inquire. "I Immediately retraced my steps," n'd tbe Philadelphia, "and again entered tbe office, neglecting to remove tny bat. I saw tbe same official wltb whom I bad been talking, and, apologising for taking up so much of his tlm. I put the question to blm. Is 'Without a word he reached up, took off my hst and placed tt In my l:and. Then be answered my query and bowed in out It made me feel rather cbesp." Books ot Great Prlue. A rare collection of old book and au tographs was offered for sale recently by a London auction house. One of tbe most remarkable of the collection was au argument In favor ot Henry Vlll.'a divorce from Catherine of Arragon, printed by Wynkyn do Worde, a pupil of Caxton. Only three other copies of this book are known to be In exist ence. The first Greek grammar printed In Latin, In 1407, was auothe? of tbe curiosities of tb collection. Tyndale's New Testament dated 1552, wltb a picture of Satan wltb a wooden leg. Cranuier's Bible, printed four years later at Rouen, and Cromwell's act of 1052, putting down liear-baltlng and wrestling on Sundays are equally of Interest Autographs of Pitt, Fox, Burke, Warren Hastings, Voltaire, and King Edward VII. were tncluded. London Dally Mall. A Camions Millionaire. Mr. Midas (about to make a wlll tn disposing of my estate, while I am anxious that my son shall balYe the benefit of a goodly share of It, I do not wish blm to become possessed of it In bulk. Lawyer Excuse me for saying It bnt the Inference of that Instruction seems to do your son Injustice. He nasalwaysseeroed to me to be a young man absolutely free from any tendency to dissipation. Mr. Midas Very true, but you can not tell to what channel ambition for notoriety may lead blm; he may take Into bis bead to become a United States Senator-Richmond Dispatch. Amerinan Footwear. American-made boots and shoes are driving British-made goods out of Aus tralia and the British colonies In the East and West Indies and Africa, where they hove always bad a mo nopoly. ' .. Improving Grant's Tomb. Tbe grounds around Grant's tomb at Riverside are to be beautified. Tbe trees will be planted, the steep embank ment terraced and asphalt walks laid. Tesas Oil-Pipe Line. A pipe line will be built In the oil belt of Beaumont, Texas, with a com pany backing It for $10,000,000. ; The average girl I engaged so man) times that the engagement ring simply serves Instead of a thread to "mind bar, , rtt! OUR BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINQ3 AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Jobs sad Joklt that A r "apposed to llav tteea Hecsatly llora-ttay las) ad Dolnars that Ar Old, Carina ad Laaaaabto-Th Wa' Uaaaor. A farmer ha an ambitious sou, 12 year old, who, being loft a Ion for ' fw hours th other day, tried to clean 'th clock, II easily got the clock to pieces, but his difficulty lay In putting ' It together again after cleaning. I At this task he was only partly suc cessful, and uikiii his father's return 'home be eagerly exclaimed: "Father, I've cleaned th clock and got enough works left over to mak another on!" Exchange, A Car I Remark. "I am really afraid you hurt that actor's feelings," said Miss Cayenne. "In what way?" I "You said he played hi part very (well. You know he I very sensitive, aud by using th word 'part.' he may hav thought you were trying t Imply that he Is not th whol how."-Wsah-Ington Star. ! "la Bed with th (trip." 1h Fulrlt's Calmer Rolrssl. "Jones, next door, Is getting old." "What do you go by?" "He's quit talking baseball aud gone to talking gardru." A Philosopher. Wife-There' a burglar down cellar, Ilenrv. Husband-Well, my dear, w ought to be thankful that we are upstairs. Wife But he'll come up hero. Husliond -Then we'll go down cellar. my dear. Surely, a ltrwiu house ought to l big enough to hold three people without crowding. IHr. ClultlM-rly-Jiist because I haven't psld my bill for a year, my tailor won't mak me another suit of clothes. Caatlfton-YVlMt will you do? "I shall threaten to take my trad elsewhere." "That engagement of young Mr, Dolley aud Miss Klttlsb Is broken off. "What ws the causer' "0. Motley put bis foot In It aa usual." "How?" "II wss trying to pay her a compll meut ud said she'd been looking real pretty th last few days." Ion Lste. f JI Yo I tsrV to e Your father ought to know what say to hi in, I bars been com lng here so long. Hhe-I am afraid he ha given up all hope. HatlnsM Kspirt. Strange Lady-Wbat'a tb prtc of this Iron bedstead? Dealer Twelvs dollars, madam. Strange Lady-How much off It ) pay cash? J ealer- JUdnnie, If you don t pay rash the bed Is not for sale. Kaw Whers II Ulead. "There's one thing I must say for Henrietta." said Mr. Meekton. "She Is very Ann, once she gets her mind made up." "Sh can't be argued out of her opln Ion." "No, Indeed! That's what makes home so happy. It she expresses ber self In tbe morning I knew perfectly well that she hasn't changed her mind when I get home st night. It makes It very much easier to converse." Wash Ington Star. th Ha I Besa Throngh th I'ocksts. Mrs. I see by this morning's paper that there Is very little change In men's trousers this spring. Mr. Yes, I notice that Appreciation Appreciated. "Does cook complain of my healthy appetite?" "Oh, no; she says she would rather cook for six men with big appetites than for one woman without any," Quits Likely. The Chronic Dlscussionlst (truculent ly) If Andrew Jackson were nllve to day what would be his sentiment lu this matter? The Sober-Minded Cltl&en (wearily) He would be glad he was dead, I pre sume. Puck. In His l lnr. Howland Rnntt You are a new mum ber of our company. May I ask, sir your role? The Other I am the advance agent. Howland Rantt Indeed! Well, could you er advance me a liver? Phila delphia Rocord. Close Quarter. She Am I really the first girl you ever bugged? He Y-e-s; but I've mad calls ou girls who lived In flats. New fork Weekly. 1 Ths Care of Klche. "Do you find the possession of a large sum of money occasions worry?" said the Inquisitive man, "I do," answered the millionaire. "What sort of worry?" "Worry for fear somebody Is going to get It away from me," Washington Star. ..:' , Ham Thraof. rw..i,.tM vou know thst st timet .i,lu.i iir,niiiita ni to my yaw luwiMM ., . . give up my practice snd enlist Iflour otmtry s raus la tin rumi'i""-I-., -..I ....i I'sitent tun th spur of i.J ..iu-Ynu will surely sow th seeds of consternation lit th rs"k of the enemy, doctor. If yu fnr " s you hsv charged m.-ltlihmoud IHspatch. MuapMtSHl llraaaadool. "What wakes you ao uufrieudly la titat newcomer?" . Well." said UroMcO Rob, "tb tuai thing h said wben h struck tb town was that h thought of dltlu' a paper lu crluisou Gulch. I bat to se a man com arouud Ilk thst advertlsia' bis aidf as bloodthirsty an' troublesome,"- Waahlngtou Star, A UUarbla t haractsrlstle. Kstbarlne-I detest that Mr. Tiffing- ton. Margnret-Wby, Kalharlns? nh ha'a th of man who al ways calls when you are ipectlog somebody els who doesn't com."- ,lf. To H Mvni Miatreaa-And you say y, brother choked to death? WliatU? Maid -On a chair, uis'sui. lis was eating dinner.- Indianapolis Hun. Tk Parktnwa Mlatrls "Mr. Johnsiiig. ran you lol ma whst'S d difference between a Span ish auiusemeut an' what a savsg dog gets out of a tramp?" Hat's l jo rich for m. hst a answer?" . "It'a dead easy. On am a bull fight, do odder a full bite." Iloaat to KUh. Hharpsou-You mad flS.000 clear last year, and yet you'r complalulng of your bard luck I I'blatt-Welt, blame It, look at that IX'" th Part of la Caslawsr. Proprietor (of restaurant)-! belleva our new rsshler will bear watching. Assistant - Hear It? Why, she posi tively enjoys It! A Mas of t'oaraar. Hhe- I didn't suppos you bad th nerve to klsa ni. Ile-oh, ye. I bav got nerr enough lo do anything. Th Mnmars of Trav'. "Did Clnrn bring home an Interesting lot of pedographs of her foreign tour?" Yrs-dreadfully funny; alio dldnt write name on them and can't tell what more than half of tficm are," ' Wss llnanry. Passenger (S a. m ) -1 say, old sport.. what o'clock Is It? Second Officer-W have no such thing as o'clock on board ship, sir. it Is bells here. Passenger Then please hsvs me call ed In time for tbe first breakfast bell. A t'prad Variety. 'What kind of a town I that plac you've been visiting, I .aura?" "Oh, It's the kind that always has a rain going ou when you get there ," Aa to th New Pastor, Maud-How do you like our new clergyman? Maliel-IIe'l splendid. I haven't heard him preach yet, but h golf beautifully! A Vrl Hat bark. "Well. Jlunul. do you want aran'na. and pa and ma and Aunt Carrie to take you to the cirrus?" "No, pa; I d rather go 'th Tommy Dobba." Abts to Comply. Teacher-Thomas, give me your Idea' of the difference between a curve and an angle. Tommy Tuckor-My Aunt Ann Is all curves, and my Aunt Ilepsy Is all an gles. The Overcoat Vacation, "Yes, when I put away my overcoat for the summer I drop a camphor ball In each pocket." "Do you? Throe gilt balls are enough for me."-Clovelnnd Plain Dealer. Urban Minister Wit, Sarcastic EditorYour Interview with the Chinese minister doesn't soem to have been much of a success. Indignant RniKirter It doesn't? I got more questions out of hliu than all tbe other fellows put together. Chicago Tribune. Th Worst : Mr. Gusli-I heard all about your pour husband having his arm brokan lu that dreadful street car accident yesterday; let in sympathize with you. Mrs. Swngger-O, thank you, but that Isn't the worst; my Dew hat was simply ruined In tho wretk.-Olilo State Jour, nal. A mer loan Ways In Jamaica. When you arrive nt your hotel In Kingston, Jamaica and here It may bs remarked that the town contains but one hotel worthy of the name you are at once madn aware that the establish ment I conducted "on the American plan," says a correspondent In tb London Dally Mnll. The guide book says so, and tliu Inevltnlilu Iced water confirms tho statement. Outside, on, Harbor street, the flue system of elec tric trams makes you us nn English man blush to the, hat brim. Cull a " 'bust" It Is a buggy of the American pattern-niid drive to the railway sta tion, and once morn tho handiwork And enterprise of the Americans aru In evidence, for the onglue Is of United States design and the car are of the same make. One Is then-fore not sur prised to learn that an American start ed the railway business In Jn males and eventually sold out at a handsome figure to the government o( the colony, "Believe only half you hoar," says the proverb; but when a woman tollo you bor age the chances are you will boar only half what you believe.
