The Hillsboro argus., February 21, 1901, Image 4

FOR YOU
For yon, Imi krt, the tlga
ode .mil, wfcara'er y W,
i4 it Ha wlil-tk. night.
Only th aigkt tor B,:
Fr yo Lov.'a om dear Uad
Of rose, fair and (m;
And kf yoo win- hind
To give a mat to na.
For yoo Love', dnmt bUsa
In U tli year to 1m;
And If yoa will no kls
Of any k)T for ma.
Thankful to know yon bleat.
When God your brow adorn
With th. sweet rote of Hia rest,
1 thank Him for tha tnormat
Atlanta Constitutioa.
f?3 llJs; aotered toe dining room of
jQjtne fashionable hotel exhaling
the subtle odor of violets. She
was daintily attired in an axure gown
of limy a! Ik en texture, over which
nissse of aoft white lace were artis-
vieaiiy arranged. Every m iiiin
hia n quietly glided to ber place
OBt w toe table reserved for regu
lar boarder. Those of a romantic na
ture might hare Imagined the face of
an angel appearing through white
ciouas floating over a sea of bright
blue sky. There waa not the slightest
uouoi mat upon the faeea of the meu
there Were expressions of admiration.
The big husband by whose side she sat
maae no effort to conceal the fact that
this exquisite piece of femlnlnlty-who
uau oeen ma wife for ten years was
still the object of his ardent and ever
Increasing worship. A he deferential
ly bent his head to her In reply to some
gm request, the big woman sitting
jusi opposite glanced reprovingly at
uer own Husband, as If to say. "Mr.
a, B moaei nusnand. ir you
were only like him!" But the exprea
alon of reproach was Immediately suc
ceeded by s. frown of Indignation as
she noted that Mr. Leslie's chivalry
was quite lost upon her mate, as he
iSUprosE m smile.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THC COMIC PAPERS,
AKAlit llVl l , .
vv .niii igu a u iitfr-iooK msr nrr a . .
W- I. . . " vvHuu uown in VQIO
wusimwi ui i wo rantWMs. nth am a au . . . .
tn www v V4iv uiau w uu Bam, on iMoa-
" l-MpmM and his cnra
Uk!B "I"?1 ,lru,.i,e loo h 0"'- Of northern tributaries, he
He soon Bad hnnilre.1 of ILtU -u ,., . .
after r t., t.t ... v. r 71, . .7 "" "r,"r"" ""r
- . . .. ..... F,, iwu, .iw aeiiiers rouud witiJ nrvh.r.1. ...i
ln Ikmn An.l W . . . ... " 1 -
. '"- wvn camea luiand ami aolJ fur hl ..r i..iKi- ...
girea away outrighL The young planter went ban-rnnt in ....m. k... ' ...
m. .....1.1. k! i . : . . '"
- " uiuisru iq winter, lai on kh.i.k..,,.mi
patebarl to keep the sun from his eyes.
jonnny Apphvswl," as he soon ram h. ha .nt ..... i.... .
lV 'he. f.'S du'bv,llin- great physical pain without aitH-biug
- Run 11 nur Denr DM trn. tK.t . ... i i
" " "ru uaaaaw V 1 1 II lilt inrn I r I . "
Times ar.d places are very potent In connection' wi.l! r,.r..-.i ..
gnioua evrnt. A monument haa lut tw. .....i . .. ,
2TT k Appleseed was born before the exlatene. of the l uited Stau.
th. L rTr " """k4"' ""J ra. and th. cenotaph of
the one and the fresh grave of th. othw lie almwt on th. very ,t of on r
the famous apple orchards of early territorial Ohbk-Yoath'a C.M.mauioi.
hats made of
by the
half-
confiagration. Cries of "Where la UT
and only Indistinct replies from the
distance reached the hotel group, as,
keeping as closely together as possible.
iney were pressed onward with the
ever Increasing throng, until, when
some Bve blocks distant, the thick
waa evidently absorbed In the vision of 8moke trxim the burning building made
beauty at Mr. Leslie's side. tnem SSP tat breath, while Mr. Ellis,
The vision was onlv talking
with Mrs. Leslie In front, shouted
TJlaee: but with such a eenius-or was b8rk:
u magnetism? that every one seemed 1D noie fleldon tenement Is
helpless under Ira influence, although ablate! Hurry op, men, and help to
me women present were evidently not el lU08e PPe out.
i a . . 14 a t .
M'ie in oarmony with the situation ,u,La- impulse torwara and a
nor the fragile looking woman of thir- ferrous shriek from Mrs. Leslie caus
ty with the child's face. In SDlte of ed the other ladies of the party, re-
thls antagonistic undercurrent they ssrdless of the excitement of the oc-
were, however, almost as irresistibly easion. to utter again critical and dls
attracted as were the men. Women Pr8sID remarns, such as.
are usually more analytical than are
men. and mentally dissected Mrs. Les
lie, although they Inwardly rebelled
that she possessed the power to claim
a second thought When discussing her
together they denominated her "a silly
chit," "doll face," "simpleton," "know
nothing," and so on. They never ad
mitted her attractions, but openly won
dered what there was in Mrs. Leslie they were now a" MaT t,le conflagra
that au the men went wild over. If she
did hare one grain of sense they aver
red to the contrary-she certainly pos
sessed little education, and would of
ten make the most astonishing blun
dors.
Better nave stayed at home, the
baby! That violet odor sickens me In
this dense smoke."
Where Is her huoband? I wonder."
Left for Frankfort to-night," came
the reply.
Should think "
But here their conversation was stop
ped by the tumult around them, and
mis country. .Marsh invented .and
manufactured a smoke, rolling it Into
me long, familiar shapes now assumed
by all species of the stogie family
This waa In the days when the stage
coach was the only mode of travel be
tween the East and Wbeellug. The
stage-coach drivers were among the
flrst to test and appreciate the merits
of the atogle. They carried them In
their long "stogie" topied boots to pre-
riMAaai Iactdeata Oocarrtaat tfc
World Ovr-atagtkat Are l'kr
fml to Old ar Yotaata-rtaajr !
Uoaa that k vary body Will Kadoy.
"Do you set that man over yonder?
lit has just had greafnea thrust upon
him."
"How aor
"Why, he's the only public man la
the country who when asked to tell
what would happen la the new cen
tury said he dldu't know ."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Taa Oct Alone.
'Do you think It la desirable for
man to study the dad languages ?"
'No,, sir," answered Mr. Cuinrox,
with emphasis. "If queer words are
what a young man aspires to, the golf
and base-ball reports In any good daily
newspaper will supply all his wants."
Washington Star,
A tlfrrac,
Freaka ef Fertaaa.
Mlkey-Chluiiuy's got a pair o' skates
for CbrUtuias, au' a red pencil, au' a
one-bJaded knife, an' flvt wuts' wort' o'
guua an' a bran anooivr, an' a pair '
suspvnders. a a'
Twrrwu co-Owe; so,,,, ftfiwr seem
ter be born wit' a silver spoon lu dvlr
uiout'l-Puck.
I'naarmouatah'e,
Wunn-I sevin to have the worat luck
lu the way of netting my feet stum
bled over In street cars.
Tuther It's their slse. I guess. Peo
ple don't stumble over mine,
Wuun-dust run ngalu them, do them?
ludtamipolla Pre,
BLIND BARBER IN MICHIGAN.
1 ORCATCST Of BATTLESHIPS,
laKdverteatl tlaaaaat.
"1 didn't kuow It was to be a comic
opera."
"Well, you knew It waa to be an opera
given by au amateur coiimauy, dldu't
you?" Chicago Itecord,
Pertly
I'litruig,
Brlgga-How long has Mlas
beeu on the stage?
Urlggs-Two or three umrrlaBes,-
Chlcago Hecord.
fatrpataa la Uearlua Wak t'e for Jap.a'a N.w War V.aaa l
Hla Lack or Vision, j rMw.r.m ingti,
lu Detroit. Mich., thtrv i a barber j Tba Vltkers, Sous A aiailtu iup.
who Is sious blind, yt does a thriving yard at Dai row, Eugluud, was the
business in spite of his Inability to ' tcvus recently of the launching of th.
Edward Mai, proprietor of tha Csdll- j new Jspaiisae battleship Mlkasa, the
lao barter shop, during his blindness, largest of such craft In the world, IUr
which lasted for seven years, haa mu j launching weight was 8,000 tons, tula
aged his biuluets eutlrvly by touch aud ; belniC ptactl. ully only her bare hull,
bearlug. ' uv'r w fw"1 lu,,K tr dla
One would tliluk that seu cuaiouiera pliiceinent will be about IS.Uai tUu,
of longest aiaudlug would hesitate be- Her engliiew are !3,0iHt horse powtir.
The parson (on a vlalt-And how
long do you pray at night, my boy?
lue Koy-W Inter or summer?
that
Paaaltaa.
Dlckerman-There's one thing
pussies tue.
Uawley-And, pray, what Is that?
Dlckerman-How It haptiens that
the new woman Is generally not a very
youug one.-Boston Transcript.
Tha Com fed Pk taaopher.
There is nothing a woman more en-
Joys." said the Com fed philosopher.
than monkeying at making something
out of sometlilug It ought nut to be
made out of."-Iudianapolls Presa.
flul In Kcoa.iinlcv
She aiHvpied me. but wouldn't let
me sit by her ou the sofa."
Why notf
Said she'd Just paid euiuty cents to
Imve her white dies dou up."
A DoniMtic Kaplmlv.
I-.tle glrl-Pnim. what la powder?
father It la something people eel
blown up with.
Little glrl-ln that what makes yon
scold uiamuia so wheu all puts It ou
her face?
An Illiterate.
Jane-What did yu.u ever reject John
dray for?
Kitty-lie a so Illiterate.
Jane Illiterate? Why. I thought he
was a man of superior education,
Kitty-Well, he wasn't. He didn't;
even kuow the rudliueuta, for when I '
told him "No" and thought sure he
wouiu rend between, the lines, would
fore going to a uiau who could uot see,
but Mr. Max bit ut only uot lost any
of his old cuilomeis, hut has added
many now ouca to his trade sluce he
lost his alghl,
Mr. Max la a young looking, pleas-ant-faced
man, who carries out Ills np
penmut'o lu tils dlrtponltlon, llu was
quite ready lo descrllie the way lu
which he carries ou lila bunlueiis lu
spite of hla great handicap.
"I can tell whcrcaboiila In the ln
my uieu are and w hat tluy are doing.
Just as enxlly na tliouith I :re look
lug at thrui all," he aald, gitod naiuivd
ly. "I kuow ilicui all by tliclr aiep, aul
w hen tlicy move I can tell where tliey
go. Cvery iiki n. you kuow, tins nil
Individual walk, Juxt h Ima mi Iti
dlvldual tcuiiteriiHietit, mid na Hie differ
rut barber lu my shop walk nlmul the
tunrble Itoor I know whellier It Is Jlm
luy, w ho la nervous, or (ieorge, who Is
slow and very rnivful. It la, of wurse,
easy to tell whether a umn'a hnlr or
beard Is being cut, th ring of the
shears being very different lu eneli
case.
"I can tell when a until la Mug
shaved by the aciuiw of flio rrntor, and
eouievlmes I know whether the heard Is
a stiff or a soft one,
"When a inun Is Imvlun nn egg slmii).
poo t hear the egg shell cracked mid
the egg benteu and I hear the cusiuiucr
and she will hnve rout capacity nf
X
nr." "
i
i
I At'HI II or TM MIMAIA.
l.-KH) tun which will allow of her
traveling shout U.(Mjt) iiillea at a sped
of tcu knots before reilenlahliig her
buukera, Konr twelve Inch Imcch Innd
lug iiuua art niouuted lu pairs, forward
aud aft, and thero ure fourimu lu the
nriiiiirril citadel.
As (lie vcuscl slid down (lis ways Into
the waier a large globe of colored (
Hrs miH'iiil'il from her bows, a(-.
I'tinllug to Japnueae ruatuin, it(Hued
and IHmthIimI a doxcii plgitma, This Is
the Jiipnueae equivalent of breaking w
Imttle of wine a ra the bows of f
ship. HiMakliig at the luiii heoti whh'h
foltoned the Jnunch, the Japanese iiilu.
go to he fountain afterward to wash , M ,, , UMng
..... 1 1 " " r,,:,,",:,", re she would never be fuuud In an-
iuiT in a nnriH'r auop ; (agolilHIII,
..am nip nvrr ruaractenat c
sound.
you believe It, the sump picked up his lui " fm "'! 'en lu Ilia twlr rttitlug J AMERICAN POETS LONQ-LIVED.
list and
Press.
went home.-Detroit r'r-
Quick Kslt.
"Mr. Lew told me that he was a Yale
man. Ik you know what class be was
graduatetl from?"
"From the sophomore class." Har
lem Life.
Th. Flint ('nun,
"Miss Keedick Is taking the first
e-urw lu the Keumle College of Jou
nallsm. It will last three months."
"Whst Is the subject for the flrst fe
months?"
"Learning to sharpen a U-ad pencil
Looked I.lka It,
Mirri.ii MARSH.
Tet she always held a crowd of male
admirers around her, while the intel
lectual women who could talk politics,
literature, science or art, were quite
neglected if she were present She
was no coquette, however, and In spite
f much Jealous watching was never
discovered to be guilty of a moral in
discretion. The women were Jealous
of her. The men enjoyed her because
they were not Jealous.
She always seemed unconscious of
either admiration or censure, and
though she had the most exquisite
taste in aress, there was no apparent
vanity in her natnre. To-day, in spite
or certain whispered comments and
glances of disapproval, she innocently
cnanerea on, ner aelleate, child-like
face flushing prettily at times, al
though she could not. as Mrs. Adams
said, "talk fifteen consecutive minutes
without displaying the most egregious
ignorance even upon ordinary sub
jects." Yet the men always iermro-i
her mistakes. Just now she caught the
wora -tann trom a conversation be
tween Miss Adams and Mrs. Smith
and she quietly interrupted in bird-like
tones: "Oh, has that bill passed? Let's
see, what wss It called?" One of the
ladles giggled audibly as Mr. Smith
gallantly replied:
"Oh. yea; the Dlngley bill, yon
mean?"
"Yes, that's It. Who Introduced HP
A smile from the women, and the po
lite and quiet reply:
"Mr. Dlngley introduced It; It Is nam
ed for him."
"Ah, Is that so? How nice! Mr
Dlngley to an Englishman; I remem
ber now!"
"Fool!" whispered Miss Adams, while
Mrs. Smith applied her handkerchief
quickly to ber mouth and feigned a
cough, although she knew her ruse was
detected by the look of scorn Mr. El
lis gave ner as Mr. smith again made
courteous reply, and then, with charm
ing tact, cnangea the subject to one
more adapted to Mrs. LeshVa capacity.
iuai nignt, wnen toe guests were as
sembled upon the commodious hotel
porcn, the men, as usual. forniW a cir
cle around Mrs. Leslie, the women thus
isolated discussed more satirically
than ever "the siren" and her charac
teristics. One declared she was not
only brainless but soulless, Incapable
or any great ana nome thought or ac
tion. "But," responded Mrs. Smith in sar
castic tones, Imitative of Mr. Ellis, "ghe
is so genuine and sympathetlc;'auch
a tweet, womanly woman!"
"Yes, Indeed, my dears," said Miss
Adams, "and Mr. Smith Informed me
only yesterday that she gave a fellow
such noble aspirations!"
A merry laugh rang out at Mrs.
Smith's expense, but ere she could re
tort, -tho flrebell clanged loudly, fol
lowed Immediately by the heavy roll
of the engines over the paved streets,
and the cry of "Fire! Fire!" from ln
aumen!f jrolcee.
.- Jk wiU. IwiJ tflare lit up the town op
the bofeL and with one accord,
rJ ruity exclamations, the group up-
1 1: parch joined toe eager, rushing
tlon as the women dared to go. and
speechless they watched the brave fire
men as they directed the hose on that
portion of the building which remain
ed standine. More than half had al
ready fallen, and the occupants were vent breakln8 them, thus giving them
crviM and moanln. half cr.i a-ih lue name or stogies.
grief at the loss of their household Wben M,fflln Marh entered the stogie
goods. The tidings that all the in-1 DU8lDess- e was able to supply the
mates were saved caused a shout of lra,,e nis own work. At the time of
Joy to go up from the crowd, when death bi fae,orls. employing sev
suddenly. from an upper corner win-ieraI bumJrd Pett rollers, aud a
dow, a baby form appeared-a wee girl doIen 0,her plau,s imt wll il'llel.
figure-scarcely three years old! She Wera ca,erintt to the demand for
was blackened by soot and smoke, and Waeelln '"K'e- Marsh assisted ma
was sobbing and calling, "Mamma! 'elaU), ln the recent litigation In the
Mam mar United States Court In Boston, which
"'Tis Tilly Brown's baby!" shouted reu,ted ,n be handing down of a cle-
one or tne rescued tenants. "She's ,""l"ui W,B "e "oeeimg
gone out washing and she ain't mJ l0K'es. That decision lias been the
MADE THE FIRST STOGIE.
Wheeling Man'. Mannfactnr. of a
Ckeap Clear Brought a Fortune,
By the death of Mifflin Marsh, the vet
eran Wheeling, W. Va., stogie manu
facturer, was removed one of the most
unique figures In the history of the
city. He gave to Wheeling the Im
petus that placed Its name high In the
list of large cigar and stogie-making
centers. Shortly after Marsh cam to
Wheeling be entered the cigar manu
facturing trade.
In 1850 he was impressed v Jth the
need of a cheaper smoke than was then
on the market. The 6-cent clear
.;:rJ corlei In the direction of the) the lowest-priced article made then ln
home yet My God! What will she
dor
"Save the baby!" "Save the baby!"
shouted the frantic crowd, and the
firemen sprang to tfcslr work with re
newed energy, but all in vain. Five
brave men, in as many seconds, were
almost killed In the attempt to reac
me apparently doomed and helpless
child. Still It cried on. Its calls for
"Mamma" growing pitifully weak. The
snouts or tne multitude became louder
and hoarser. Women cried, and some
fainted and were borne away. The
group of women from the hotel were
soDDing Hysterically, their mother love
touched. But they never realized the
moment wnen a blue and white robed
figure sped swiftly from them; nor did
they guess there was one less of their
number until, simultaneously with
glad cheer from the crowd, the form of
Mrs. tsiie for one brief instant ap-
pearea at me open window as she
snatched the child np In her arms
burying Its face npon her shoulder, and
enveloping its head in the ends of the
long white scarf she had hastily
thrown about her head. They saw her
rapidly disappear ln a cloud of smoke
and flame as a stillness like that of
oeatn reii on the astonished people.
The next instant the very air seemed
rent with shouts and exclamations of
applause.
"The baby Is saved! The babv is
uaveu. Ana tue iaay
well, I never see a combination of
blue silk and white lace, nor smell the
odor of violets, but a picture rises be
fore me of a charred and burning build-
lgn ana a group of grimy firemen bend
Ing reverently over the frail dead form
of a woman with a sweet, child like
face wearing a smile upon it, while a
frightened baby clings to her, sobbing,
tangled ln a mass of lace wound about
the head and neck of the quietly sleep
ing woman.
means of Increasing the local trade,
which be amassed a fortune.
in
A GREAT INVENTOR.
Prof. KHaha Gray Claimed to Have
DUcovered the Telephone.
1
I'rof. Gray, who died at Xewtonvlile
near Boston, Mass., recently, took ran
as one of the world's greatest Invent
ors. He was born In Ohio sixty-five
years ago. tie wa
educated at Oberlln
College and early
turned his endeavor
to perfecting elec
trical appliances.
ue met with great
success, bis Inven
tlons, both useful
and simply nractl.
cai, being innumerable. Both he and
rror. Bell claimed credit of priority in
inventing tne telephone, the latter re
ceiving the award after twenty-five
years or litigation. This fact emblt
tered Prof. Orsy In bis later rears. Ilia
last work Is regarded as a masternlece.
It Is an electrical apparatus by which
the sound of fog signals can se trans
mitted undm- the water for twelve
miles. Prof. Gray received compara
tively large sums for his Inventions,
out died poor.
Accnmnodatlaa Uld Maau
He 1 asked your father's consent by
teiepnoue.
She-What was hla answer?
He-He said; "I don't know who
you are, but It's all rlght."-Harvard
Lamitoou. '
A Valaabl. Do.
Friend Magnificent dog that.
Mr. Suburb Yea, he's a splendid
watch dog. Paid $ for him.
Friend-Well, he's worth it-splendid
animal! Splendid! Finest I ever saw!
But, by the way, what's this other dog
frl tl- - ,. . "
v.. , m B i.i.-re mongrel! r act Is,
he's a common cur.
Mr. Suburb-Y-e-s. 1 bad to get
him to prevent the thoroushbred fmm
belug stolen.
Tha One Concern,
The Bride (three times wldowwrh.
mcny Mnail Is one of the most Ira-
pertinent men I ever saw. Why, Alfred,
Just after the ceremony he came up
and wished me many happy returns.
ine uroora (after figuring on It a
mlnutet-I guess It's up to me to a-o out
and smash his head or go and take out
ure insurance policy.-Denver News.
Cool Advice,
speak
Dog-I wonder If those are what they
can goo-goo eyes?
The Pemlnary Kln l,
Johnson Does your wlfs
French?
Thompson-She thinks she does.
"Vou don't speak It, do your'
"No."
men now ao you know she doesn't r
i wsieneu a rreuch waiter's face
the other day when she was talking to
mm, and l n be blamed If he dldu't
look as if he had the toothache,"
FBor. oair,
Plngree Meets a Bishop.
An Episcopal bishop made Mr. Pin-
gree's acquaintance. Belligerent as he
was, Mr. Plngree gave evidence of
backwardness and shyness, for be was
none too well posted on bishops and
didn't know Just how to take them.
I see by the papers that you are
much addicted to swearing," said the
Bishop.
Yes, I've seen something of 'that
kind In the papers myself," said
Haaen, acting very much like a snail ln
the act of pulling In its shell. ,
"Well" said the Bishop, "Judelna- bv
what you have to contend with, I
would not be surprised If you did
swear pretty often."-Detrolt To-day.
Safe to Ship Wet CoaL
It has long been considered hlirhlv
dangerous on account of the danger of
spontaneous combustion to ship coal
tor sea transportation in a wet condl.
tlon. Experiments have now been
made which show that after all this la
quite the safest condition In which to
ship It
Injustice.
"Won't you give a veteran something
to eat, mutiir aald Tired Thompaou to
lira, wnirrct.
"You a veteran," replied Mrs..Whif
iei, unitenevingiy. iou were never
a soldier, lit lie bound."
"Madam," added tho tramp, "you do
me a grievous Injustice. 1 have done
nothing but soldier all my life."
Had Them In Hla Head."
Professor to Studeut of Suicerr
Please luforui the class the names of
buues forming the skull.
Student Ah-er-1 do not st the niO'
meut remember, but I kuow that I have
them all In my head.
I'nut Ten.
"She married a millionaire, didn't
she?"
"You mean that he was a millionaire
at the time she married hliu."
Willie fionnet-In what magazine
would you advise me to publish poems
to give them the highest position?
Editor The powder magazine.
A Gr.ac mr prise.
Jack Huggard-MIss Pechy's fathpr
made a surprising statement to me last
night.
Dick Danser-That so? What was It?
Jack Huggard-He sneaked Into tha
parlor and cried: "Ahal That's the
time I caught you kissing my dauirh.
ter!"-Pblladelphla Press.
HI Glorious Record.
"Let me see, Colonel," she said In her
sweetest manner, "where was it you
won your spurs?"
"At Cape May," be replied.
"Cape May?" she echoed. "Whr.
there never was a battle at Cape May."
io, ne admitted, "but there were
three graa widows ln the house when
1 liln't !H! Anr.
Mrs. Statestreeth-Uld she marry ber
flrst love? x
Mrs. Btockyarde-Ob, my, yes! Her
flint, second, third and fourth. Norrls
town Herald.
To Divert Them.
Pittsburg Mau-What would yea
folks do If a mob of rioters should come
charging down Broadway?
New-Yorker (bUHlly-8tart a police
man to shooting at a dog.-New York
Weekly.
Told In Washington.
"Is the correspondent of that publi
cation a well-informed man?"
"I should say so!" was the answer.
"Half the time he's the only person In
the world who knows whether what he
tells Is true or not. "-Washington Star,
business as long I hav. you would
recognise turae movements aud sounds
as t do.
"I can tell Just about whst tho day's
buslneaa lias been aud what we out tit
to hav. made. My daughter Is the
cashier, and when she la away make
the change myself. I can tell all the
coins by the feeling, but. of courae, I
do not know one bill from another, and
I never attempt to make clmuge for
anything but a ft bill,"
HUMOR IN THE AMBULANCE.
Doctor'. Htorr of a Man anl women
wlili tiro k en l.tv.
"When I was an ambulance stir
geon." said the young family physl
clan. "I used to start like s Ore horse
St the sound of the tn. I was Just
as much Interested In the work at th.
eud of two years as I was the day I
hegau. It v.a the exclteiiieut of tb
life that made me ao fond of it. l ilu,i
all sorts of experience at all aorta of
hour. Iheio was an element of dan
ger In It. too, but that only added lo
the charm.
"One night had a call from th
West Side In tin. uelglilairltood of
Chelsea square. It was for a druiiken
mil ti who fell down and broke hla lea.
Ou th way back to the hospital with
nun I picked up a drtiukcn woman to
whom a similar accident bad hniHieued.
There was nothing to do bill put her In
i ne ambulance a on a with th mm.
.ner i inn tne ride across town wn
exciting fiioiiKli for a row boy. At llmt
the patient nyuipnlliUed wish each
wuirr. men iney Hegan to crv In
chorus.. At Broadway ther fell 1(1 lr lust.
lug each other. At Third avenue they
were ngniing like a pair of Kilkenny
cats, and t had my baud full lu keep.
ing mem apart. The woman had
scratched the man's face dreadfully
aim ue una henriy closed her eye with
puncn. w hen we struck the aaulinlt
in join street they were singing, We
nave all been there before, many a
time.' and such singing! The uproar
auracieci a crowd who evlileiul.
thought I had an ambulance full ..r
lunatics. Wheu we reached the gnte
iney swore eternal friendship and at
me oince they parted In lears'-New
York Sun.
An American Mlgn in Egypt.
"American Biissnr." lu hn itton
i stayeu mere last summer, and I got over a shop lu Alexandria, Egypt, at-
away from the whole crowd."
Then, with her nose pointed In tha
dlreetion that all good people hope
some day to go, she left him alnu i
the corner. Chicago Times-Herald.
he Was "peakln.
Nurse Glrl-I lost track of the child.
mum, and
"Good gracious! Why didn't you
speak to a policeman?"
Nurse Girl I wus speaking to wan all
the toime, mum."
au
for
Women are better qualified for mak
Ing tongue sandwiches than the sterner
sex. :
Wealth Is the bull's eye on the target
at which all humanity alms.
Not teriona.
Passenger (to station porter) Now,
It's 4 o'clock and the time table says
the train arrives at 8:14.
Station Porter-Oh, well, you mustn't
take the time table too sorlously. Flle-
genae uiaetter.
Affection's Hhrlne.
"Pauline has one side of her boudoir
devoted to photographs ef her lost
beaux."
"So many dead?"
tracted the" attention of an American
Curious to know what kind of goods
might be for sale, he entered and
asked the proprietor If he were un
American. In French came the
swer:
"Yes, I am an American."
"From what part of America?"
"Buenos Aires."
"Do you keep American goods
saler '
"Yes, certainly, I have American
goods."
"What kind of goods?"
Whereupon the shopkeeper took from
a shelf an article which he handed to
the visitor with the remark, "These are
the only American goods we have at
present."
The "American goods" consisted of a
single fountain pen!-New York Even
ing Sun.
Landlords in Holland.
In Holland no landlord has the power
of raising the rent or of evicting a ten-ant
Mr. Gillette's Tobacco Hel.lt.
William Gillette claims there Is nn
ngnuHiusness In hi tobacco reputation.
tie Bumii ne likes a Kund clear, i.nt
ucuies mat smoking is with him a con
tlnuous performance, and assert that
coincidence rather than intention has
maue it necessary for him to simulate
devotee of tho weed In the mnlmii.
of bis plays. It was Coiinn Doyle, he
says, who made Sherlock Holmes
worshiper of pipe and cigar, while It
was the dramatic effect of tobacco .
Indicative of the stoicism of the smoker,
which appealed to him when ho e.mii..
ped Col. Thome of "Secret Service"
with the habit.
Yet be does not deny tlml a clunr I.
his most frequeut stnge couiiiiinlon. An
odd result of the association Is the mvf.
erence which the actor now has for the
extremely dry cigar. Before lie smokes
a eignr be places It on a steam mdiainr
and lets It dry olmost to the crumbling
polut. "I found," he explains, "that a
damp, fresh cigar would go nut If 1 laid
it uown ror a rew moments, That would
not do, for tho relighting might prove
decidedly embarrassing. A dry cigar
will burn on. So I took to drying the
cigars I smoked on the stnge, and after
a time I got to like them, Now I can
not smoke a freshly made cigar."-Bog.
ton Post.
With MmKsiptlans,lirHsr4Uav
Keatne.i in Allulis.l Age.
A most striking fact I th longevity
of our poet. The typical American
pvet-wlien one think, of It and no
tice the face thai louk duwn from hi
library walls -Is fouud lo be an aged,
hoary uiau, ya Oscar Iivrll Telgg lu
the Forum. Of tha fight poet pic
tured un the froutlspliH-e, six sre gry.
heard ud luclln to baldues and of
the bhjckhlrd head, Lanier lived to
be .'III sud I'oe lo be -i. No American
poet ha had the advantage of Juhn
Keata of dying young with still eumigb
act- mpllshed to I compared with
Shakapeare ou the ground of hi prom
ise, aiany rair Uope ceuiered In for
Fabrl, Atiuw Aldrlch and Winifred
Jlowella, the youngest of th sl.ter.
hood to lay dowu their pens; but their
work was too Incomplete to glv
prophecy of their maturity. Jowph
Itodmnn Drake at , Stephen Crane
at James Berry Iteiiael at ao and
Fraud Brooks at 31 had hardly l-guu
their true poetic career. Probably our
llteraure sustained It greatest o. lu
the death of lllchard Uovey, who was
destlued to accomplish great work and
to win high renown; st au he w lust
prepared for bold adventure. Tlmrod
ami Kiiitna I.ilru had fulillled much
of their promise at 3M. F.dward Itow
land Hill aud Bayard Tylor, wboA
premature death were uim h lamented,
had yet time at 4d and M to accom
plish not a little well roumled aud well
proportioned work. Utigfellow, I.OW
ell. Whltuinu. Story and ilalletk en
tered the Tim,; F.meroii reached th
H"tb mark; while Freueau, Wblttler.
Molme and Bryant pnssed It. Dana
lived on Into the With.
Some few sensitive natures, like I'oe
and lllchard Itealf. suffered pain and
travail, largely the fault of their pe
culiar temperament; . health affected
the output of some; the civil War
short the lives of several; accident
dosed a few career; aud four suffered
vIolenMrath at their own hand. But
for the great majority the current, of
life ran smoothly, and. save th. nr.
Unary Incidents of change, they lived
u serruny or Spirit.
Wants More Muttler.
A body of capitalist has contracted
with the Ontario government under
heavy bonds to place In Aliroma. w..f.
em Ontario, COO settlers per month for
Ave years, The reprew-ntntlve of the
capitalists, Mr, Clergue, sailed for En
gland recently and will open einlgra.
tlon agencies forthwith. It is i,,,,,
ond hoped that the eniljrriiutii Wj (
chiefly British and will consist mrgei,
of skilled workmen. '
A Cruel American I'arent
The Motber-My dears, vour foli,n .J
uuuuiam. ne says that aftor Pi,i.
and scraping, B8 he vulgurly express,
It, and getting into debt, nnd making
?500 apiece for your clothes.
The Girls (In chorus, weeping)-Well
ws'll get even with him h i ,.'
w k .vi i e,
A Female Hlm trlolan.
Mr Ayrton, who I well t,
bor researches In the Held of electricity,
hd the boiior the other evening of din
ing with the IttlO members and guest of
the Institution of Electrical Knfflr.
at the Hold Cecil, In London. Her
presence brought tip th novel question
how she should bo recognised bv th.
speaker at the dinner. The earlier
speaker sold. "My lord, lad..
gentlemen," which eoundeil n.i.t Th-
I.ord Chief Justice Imnrovol .... .ki-
with "My lord, Mr. Ayrton, nnd gen
tlemen," while Sir John Wolf,, lUrr.
struck out the formula, "My lords, mad
am. and genile.net.," Mr. Ayrton otn
me ago jtiMiine.i i,..r election to mem
bership by a thoroughly scientific es
sny, "On the Hissing 0f the Electric
Arc," a subject which she still tmlu
Investigated, nnd on which she read a
paper, lu completion 0f ior Inuulry at
the recent meeting of tho Institution In
Paris
The Largest Incubator.
New South Wule. m not only the
largest duck farm In ih ,f.
wenlth, but also probabiy ?
",v ". i n run
. .. ........ .., nuiiiiuMi at Holauy nenr
Sydney, the latter, according ,7a lvA
ncy paper, having a capacity f ,, jJi
duck eggs, or 14,080 hen egg u ,!
necessary that It should be (llled at any
one time. Tho egg can M J, '
intervals, as they are avallab" with
fifty eggs only It will work. ju.t J.,
a If t won. IIII...I n,. . 1 . 1 ,l"
dwrigned and comdruetPd bv it.
rie4nt.M ...in. ... ,. '.
'"-"'I " " mo am of
liM-iil mechanic.
was
Pro-
n Ingenious
Power of Kxample.
In doing our very boat to bo good our
e voa wc bring tre.iienduu. u icon
ncIous Influence to bear on every on"
around us. N0 n.eel iZ"
who tninsparenlly nm, constantly trloi
to do hi duty without being either
"purred or shamed by the encounter L
Americun Friend.
iTl ' .0h, ne ,neklud that thinks
In. W. nam0" " ""H. by ,h.T.
I'JK his name engraved cm the haudlo."
-New York Eveulug World.