The Hillsboro argus., December 13, 1900, Image 4

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fllMOK OF THE WEEK
TORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
- OF THE PRESS.
Odd, Cartas aad Laaahable rhaeee
of Haatan Natnr Graphically INr-
traced by Kattaent Word Artteta of
Oar Own Uay-A Uadget at Fan.
HePhllosopby, my uVr nutdam, li
omethlug it take all ooe' Ufa t ac
quire.
She-What, then, la the um la acquir
ing K?
"The supremo satlsf action of know-
lug that oiw i whole life baa boon a
mistakes-Life,
Trnet Worthy.
"la he a trustworthy patriot?" aaked
the earnest cltlaen.
"I should aay ," answered Senator
Sorghum. "A man that can wake mon
ey aa brilliantly aa be can la wertby of
all Um trutt he la able to control."
Waaalugton Star.
Thing Appear Differently ta Differ Newark Mao lllarover How Hall in
Kim, i i,ive no viin.pr.
Oue of the essential thing for one The ehcp way In which Italian la-
that would luflueuce other la the abll- borer, pushcart uieu aud wthota of that
ity to we thin (a at tbry look to thoee cll live ba very much lmpr-d
whom he addrette. A lack of thta retldvut of Brooklyn, whom) fad It hai
Worth KenanberNat,
"It ta the man at the top of toe ladder
who can reach thing," remarked the
haughty repreaentMtv of a noble fam
ily.
"True," remarked the arcattc man
In homeapuu. "but K la the man at the
bottom who can upet the laiKlor."
Chicago Evening Poet,
MISAPPROPRIATING A SMILE.
t wa seated In the corner of a car,
When I got a moat excruciating Jar
. Not the ordinary kind
To which gripniea are inclined.
Bat a jolt that shocked me more than
that by far.
From adorn the aiale a fascinating girl
Bet my avnsea in an amatory whirl, '
When she turned a pretty smile
Toward mr comer, and the while
Showed the tips of teeth that glistened
as the pearL
f responded with a twinkle of my eye
(Tia a little trick I studied, by the by).
And although I passed my street,
Still I kept my corner seat.
For the hope within my heart was run
ning high.
Then It was I got the dolorific jar;
Just behind me, on the platform of the
car,
Stood the man at whom, 'twas plain.
She was smiling through the pine.
And I'd ridden half a mile or more too
far.
-Life
A Walk with Ishbel.
H DON'T mind talking to you, you
know," said Ishbel she insists on
being spelled that way "because
you are not a stupid boy aud you hare
a nice detached point of view, but yon
must promise when I tell you things
not to Imagine I mean myself."
"How could i Imagine you a thing?"
I asked reproachfully.
"You know what 1 mean," said Ish
bel with severity, "When I was quite
young," she punned she la 22 "I used
to fancy that authors put themselves
Into tbelr stories. Now I know tbey
never do."
"Well. I am not quite young," I said
crossly. "Goon."
"But you didn't promise."
"I promised."
Ishbel adjusted ber hatpin. "Once
there waa a girl," she began, "who at
the age of IT was sent to England to
visit her father people. That's rather
a nice beginning. Isn't It?" she Inter
rupted herself. "It sounds as if It
might be print Do you think if yon
saw a story with a beginning like that
you would read It?
"Candidly r I Inquired,
x "Of course."
"I dou't think I should." ..
There was a dangerous glitter In her
eye.
"But," I hastened to add, "reading a
atory I ve7 different to have you tell
It, you know. I could listen to you for
a thousand years."
She was molllfled. "It won't take
that long," she assured me with a smile.
: There la no word for ber smile but de
licious.
"Do go on," I said. "Did she Ilk
the people?
"Well, ome of tbera," doubtfully.
"You see they were English and she
was an American."
"Yea."
"And and young, tbey bullied ber a
little. The next time," with animation,
"I mean, when we go over, 1 don't
think they'll bully me." ,
"I don't fancy they will."
"And so you see abe didn't have as
good a time as she might exactly. But
she did have a love affair."
"Oh." said I.
"Yes," said Ishbel. "He was a sort of
distant connection of hers, a lawyer,
what they call over there a solicitor,
you know. lie she said be wa very
much In love and so was she."
"Confound" I began.
"I beg your pardon," said Ishbel.
"I meant," I said, sternly, "it Is very
wrong of deterlmentals to make love to
"It la," agreed Ishbel. "But be was
very-ob. very honorable. Things had
goait, wall, tbey bad gone rather far,
you kaow, but the week before abe
d"ed, when be proposed at least be
i'.-a't exactly propose, but be told ber
r trJ c-Jy 830 a year, and that, of
It waa out of the question In
1 to marry on that, and be
c :3at bear the W"n of hampering hor
l . . a. X J trsuent and what did
him, but he would hold himself encaged
to her, and some day when the senior
partner dropped off I do wish," petu
lantly, -you wouldn't mutter likt that"
I groveled.
"Where waa IT demanded IahbeL
"Oh, well, thea they said good-by. you
know, and ahe waa perfectly miserable
-If you look so horribly cross I shall
send you home oh, dreadfully miser
able. She felt that aha didn't can a
straw about other men, and there were
she said there were some very nice
men In the steamer coming borne, too,
Balls and parties bad no attraction for
ber, and fancy, for ever so long ah
hardly took any Interest In her frocks.
Ob, It waa horrid. 8he only lived for
bis letters and somehow tbey well,
tbey were not exactly satisfactory.
8 he supposed It waa because he waa to
very honorable, and tbey were not real
ly engaged, you know. But one day
she thougbt It all over and decided that
sort of thing would have to come to an
end. 8b knew she would never be
happy for a moment till be cam out,
as she knew be would some day. to
claim her, but ahe made up ber mind
to stop thinking about him as mucb as
possible and try to teem happy, no mat
ter how perfectly miserable she waa Id
reality. The Idea was, you see 1 think
she got It out of a poem to lock his
Image up In her heart"
I ee," said L "And how did It
work?" ': ,. i
"U worked very well," said Ishbel,
reflectively. "She knew she was
wreached, but b didn't allow herself
! to thing about It"
Btaata It on th Moon.
"The moon exercise a marked Influ
ence on commetvo, astronomer say."
"Oh, yea; whenever a man walk with
girl on mooullfc-ht night he buy ber
a lot of caramel aud other stuff."
Chicago Record. .
What Conetttnted th laaalt.
"What did you atrlk thla man forr
asked the magistrate.
"He called m 'Iteulien.' " answered
th ahock-headed individual whom th
polk bad brought In. .
" bat I your name, anyhow f
"Roubpn, your honor but h didn't
know tt"Cb!cago Trlbuue.
THE POINT OF VIEW,
NEW REOIPE FOR SOUP.
ability ha been responsible tor th
rallur or many porton that would
otherwise have been successful a
teacher, missionaries, lawyer before
juries, aud even orator and ttateamen.
Striking lllustratlou of th different
aiwct tltlug wear In th eye of dlf-
been recently to poke around In odd
place lu tbl city aud lit vicinity, iny
the New Turk Time.
"I wa lu Newark a week or (wo
ago, laid be, "when a Mcml or mlu
pointed out a number or Italluu who
were buying tuiall biukct of tomatoca
ferent people are constantly coming to lu large qunntlili's. They cunt 13 cml
Barvata.
Jaat tier Idea.
Wlgglea-Tbey nay that a man and
bla wife grow to look Ilk each other
aftw they hare lived together for a
long owe,
Mrs. WlggteeDo they? That's luckv
for th men, now. Isn't lt?-Somervlll
Journal
light,
A party of American traveler, Jour
neying leisurely up the Nile, ei preened
a UfMlre to celebrate Wmlilnston
birthday lu some appropriate manner,
men- cuier accordingly prepared a
great froaied cak, upon which h ex
ecutett in ootifwtlom-ry a representa
tion of (leorge Washington, after bar
l it ramlllarUed hltr Hf with th life
and achievements of hi aubject
A repreeuted In tigr. Wanhliigton
wore a turban on hi bead and a great
sash aerot hi brentt; he w mok
lug a long pipe, nd before hint torn
dancing girl were performing. Tbl
each. 1 exprt'taed wonder at what tbey
were going to do wllb u in.iny, where
upon my friend replied that be would
show mo, tie led mu to the backyard
of a house, where a number of Italiau
live, aud there I found the bankets piled
blglt, Nnr by wa a receptacle whlctt
looked Ilk a set tluu of a beer vat. It
bad been sawed In two. The Itallau
who were handling the toiiintinm cut
thetn up Into ttnnll piece and threw
them Into the vat Then they took
crusher made from block of wood,
with handle, and pounded those toma
toes Into a pulp.
"My curiosity lueresxnl with every
wa the way the greatness of Qeorg plunge of the crusher aud th Italian
H Had It,
"Th fart ta" aalif t, , t
married because I wa wuely a much I ",u,',r"t r ottv artist.
aa
tewely,
Washington looked lo the Arab chef.
In China, that land of Strang con
ira.is, many amusing instance of
similar kind may be found, "rilgrlm'
i rogret." a recently trantlated and
(how
for any other reason. To out It 1 u,r,l",,,r " wng pigtail, the dun'
ely, I married for ympathy." I f,Ha of ,,,n, I!"' l familiar
you have w"m"fn Chinese criminals,
"Well," said th lean man.
mlne."-New York World.
Win; Heparta.
The Easy Mark-She said ah bad
"other Hah to fry. I wonder If b In
sinuated that I was a flh?
Th Soubrette-Imposslbl: All wh
iter are crutaceou.-Cblcag Nw. ! quietly
nue me angels ar arrayed lu th
lateet production of f'ekln dressmak
er.
A thlnese publication describe
American a "livlug for month with-
out eating a mouthful of rice," and nee-
er enjoying tbemtelve "by dttlng
on tbelr ancestors' grave.'
sabers and the rash of many feet The
noisy thunder cloud came nearer, and
th voice that made ua tremble were
no longer heard. Uncle Eb began to
fasten the oil blanket to th stalks of
corn for a shelter. The rain came roar
log over us. The sound of It wa like
that of a host of cavalry coming as a
gallop. We lay bracing the stalks, the I
hl.Kk.l , t.w. ... I
: eo.wiy, do me .0 injure.
7T m . . .7 r . 1 to disguise. I waa merely
7rZTll Z": traveling Incog "-Pltuburg Chronicle-
- " v -k ft"'11-1-, awn uTelcgraph
ucvui iuu lantrr vrraeu awayiug anu
"01 burnt me hand terribly bad.
"How did ye do It r
"Sure and 01 put me hand In th'
wather to see If H wa blllu'."
"And wa Itr
"No, fraxln'."
- An Injaatlce.
"The fact that you were disguised
make the case against you very dark,"
said the magistrate to the prisoner.
i our honor," milled the nrlsoner.
showing glimpses of the dark aky. The
rain passed w could hear the last
ecooildered,
He-You need not fear. I shall do
Happy atetort.
"Now, don't gimme any aong about
! mlsfortuue an wanttn' to be a bard
worker n all that" said th hard-faced
lady. "I can tea right through you."
"Ger ald Dimal Dawson. "I
knowed I ain't had nothln' to eat for
E three days, but I didn't know It bad
thinned m down like tbat."-Indlas
apolla rre.
, Wladoaa of Holoaaoaw
Teacher Who wa th wlat man?
Little Boy-Solomon.
TeacherOlve an example of hi wis
dom.
Little Girl-H had 000 wlv,-De-
trolt rre rre.
A Coaaproatlaa,
battalion leaving the Oeld-and then Botn,n desperate Just because you
the tumult ended aa suddenly a It . e reruia ,
began. Th corn trembled a few mo-' TBen aar"- repent It waa only
menta and hnsbed to a faint h!.ru,r the bought that you might do aotne-
Tben w could hear only the drip of thlng ron"ntlc "1 mad me refuse
raindrops leaking through the green. uu- l"'le-
oo r. it wa dark under the corn.
Iatareate la an Kxcltlna Ufa.
"Ma, when I get big I'm gola' 'way i
a to oe a pirate.
"Are you, Bobby?"
-lea, but don't you be scared; I'll
come borne at night to aleep."-Ch!cago
itecora.
"And what happened J" I asked brisk
ly. ' . .
"Well, after three years he came"
"Oh.bedldr
"Of course, said Ishbel sharply. "Did
you Imagine he didn't?"
i coughed. "And abe unlocked her
heart?"
"Yes," said Ishbel
"And the Image'
"If a a very odd thing,' replied IsbbeL
slowly, "but It wasn't there."
I caugbed again. "Waa ber heart-
did she find the receptacle er-empty?"
tasked.
"She didn't tell me that" said Iah
beL We walked on. "So that" I re
marked, presently, "waa the reason
why that long-legged English feJ
low "... .
"But you promised," cried IshbeL
Boston Post
:? You pnt me out
) t J't be engaged to
RAFTERS OF LIVING GREEN.
v. t (r . n .a
vaacriptioai mm jvocm noiuaa ' or at
Day la th Cornfield. .
We climbed th wall as he ate, aad
burled ourselves In the deep corn. The
fragrant Hky tassels brushed my face
and the corn hissed at our Intrusion,
crossing lu green sabera In our path.
Far In the field my companion heaped
a little of the soft earth for a pillow,
spread the oilcloth between rows, and
as we lay down drew the big shawl
over us. Lneie Eb was tired after th
toll of that night and went asleep al
most as soon as he waa down. Before
I dropped off Fred came and licked my
race and stepped over me, his tall
wagging for leave, and curled upon the
shawl at my feet I could see no sky la
that gloomy green aisle of corn. This
going to bed In the morning seemed a
foolish business to me that day and I
lay a long time looking up at the rus
tling canopy overhead. I remember list
ening to tbe waves that came whisper
ing out of the further field, nearer and
nearer, until tbey swept over us with
a roaring splash of leaves, like that of
water flooding among rocks, as I bar
heard It often. A twinge of homesick
nese came to me and tbe snoring of
Uncle Eb gave me no comfort I re
member covering my bead and crying
softly as I thought of those who bad
gone away and whom I was to meet
In a far country, called heaven, whither
we were going. I forgot my sorrow,
finally in sleep. When I awoke It had
grown dusk under th corn. I felt for
Uncle Eb and he wa gone. Then I
called to him.
"Hush, boy I He low!" be whispered,
bending over me, a sharp look In bis
eye. "'Frald they're after us."
He sat kneeling beside me, holding
Fred by tbe collar and listening. I could
bear voices, the rustle of the corn aud
tbe tramp of feet near by. It waa thun
dering In the distance that heavy,
shaking thunder that seems to take
hold of tbe earth, and there were
sound In the corn like th drawing of
An Admirer of Homatv.
"Yet, air," said Farmer Corotoeael,
"it there's anything I do like an ad
mire, It's an honest man. An' that'i
why I'm so proud of our new neighbor I
down the road a piece. Ef there ever
was an honest man he's oue."
"Are you sure lA' honest?"
"Certainly; one of these frank, geuer-
us, sincere kind."
"How do you know V ' .
"Traded horses with blm day before
yesterday, an' I reckon I got at least
amy dollars tbe best of him.'
Washington Star.
Th Pick! Thermometer.
UPON A CATARACT'S BRINK.
Thrilllasj Experience of a Voyager oo
th Ottawa Hirer.
The horrible experiences of ooe whe
has been swept away by some mere!
less current and find himself at his
at the brink of a cataract may possibly
b Imagined, but there are few whr
survlv to relate to us the particulars o
ucn an ordeaL Yet there la one In
(tanc where a man waa saved at tl
fery edge of tbe falls.
There are few more Imposing bits o.
scenery In Canada tban where the Ot
tawa Blver pour thundering and foam
Ing over the Chaudlere Fall. Wbei
the water In tbe river Is low. as It li
In autumn, there Is a fall of about fortj
feet but when the river la swollen bj
melting snow In the spring tbe ap
parent depth of the rail Is lessened. At
any time tbe rush and awlrl of tbe
great river over this ledge of rock Is a
sight worth seeing.
In some place tbe water pours over
in a dense and Irresistible volume, while
at other point a shallow stream will
pray itself over a higher table of rock.
On the upper Ottawa are floated
booms of logs which feed tbe large
lumber Industries of that region. Han
dling these wet logs is a treacherous
business, and It I easy to lose one's
foothold and fall Into the swift it ream.
Accident of this kind occur frequent
ly. Th only caae that did not have a
fatal termination la tbe one referred to
here.
The man was busy forking these logs
with those sharp tongs used to swing
them about and draw tbem In, when
be missed bla footing and fell Into the
river. Though a strong twlmmer, be
could not withstand th current and
waa iwppt out Into tbe ttream and on
toward th falls. Neartng the falls, be
found himself still conscious, and It
happened that be was being floated
over on of those tables of rock wber
th water waa so (hallow that be felt
himself touch. He struggled to regain
hi feet and wa ucceful In so do- She Merely to find out if you weren't
ing, so tnat ne round himself standing lust like all tbe other men. Detroit !
in, pernaps, a root or rushing water, al Tree Press.
Parson Why, Johnnie, I'm orry to
tee you stealing. 1 shall report th
matter to your rather.
Jobnnle-l'm sorry, too, parson, but
now I'm caught I'U divide with ye, If
ye won't tell dad. Come now, what do
y ay?
In th Wrong Claea.
Mrs. Pbeedem' boarder teem to b
nearly all ttudent who belong to th
normal cla."
"Ye, but ihe tell me that their appe
tite are abnormal"
Look Inn for Harsralna.
"Mr. Bargalnbunter seems to b
dreadfully worried about the health of
ber children."
"Why, they looked to me exception
ally strong and welL"
"Yea; that'i what worrlei her. A cut-
I rate drugstore baa Just opened In th
neighborhood, and she's eraiy ror an
excuse to see what kind of bargain
tbey ha.ve'-Clilcago Tlmca-IIerald.
'Here, young lady, I've brung back
tbl thermometer you sold me."
"What' tbe matter with itr
"It ain't reliable. One time ye look
It It It ay one thing, and tbe next time
It tay another."
Jaat Like other Man.
She Which would you rather marry
-the prettiest woman in th world or
the homeliest?
He-The prettiest of course. Why do
rou asx?
A Congenial Fellow.
Blobbs What a companionable
young fellow young BJone I.
globbs Yea; be frankly acknowl-
j edges that be doesn't know anything
i about politics, religion or golf. Phila
delphia Record.
Clrcamttancea A'ter Caaaa.
She I Ilk him because he's so ex
travagant
Her Aunt-Tbat Isn't th best possi
ble quality In a husband.
She Of course notl I'm not going to
marry blm! Puck.
out. instead. Jumping around and kick
ing a ball aa If paid for It .
how doe thl thing look to th
Turk, th Cblnmn, the Iloer, the
Kugllthmin, th northerner, tbe outh
erner I th queatlon that w should
answer, In any eontroverty, before be
coming too Hire of our own position.
ah in world doe not look through
me tarn pectacle.-8t. Loul Star.
HOW THEY TRADE IN CHINA,
Aaterlcao Wond B Kaaaperated by
Faca A beard Methods
When a man or a woman goo Into
bop In China a clerk, with mucb cere
mony, brings fragrant tea, which I
terved In One tyl. The compliment
of tbe ion are exchanged, there ar
talk about th weather-In fact, every
kind of evitlon 1 employed to keep
away rrom ttie real reason of tbe visit
which I to boy something. The pro
prietor solemnly watche these pro
ceeding rrom arar. Tbe ityle of com
pllmeni I of tbl order: "In what ce
lestial country did your exalted excel
lence purchase th auperflo garments
upon which I r-at my eyes? gundy
In no miserable and unworthy land Ilk
our own T When the tea and talk ar
exhausted the little pip bearer, who at-
way attend hi master or mlstreta
out of door, light a pipe for hi em
ploy There are only a few whiff
In each pipeful o th process has to b
frequently repeated.
Then buslttes-begins. -Tb shopper
looked at in with quiet amusement
Presently they tlrred tome corumeal
In th mat aud then tome flour until
th ttuff became a pulp. The next tep
wt to throw thl on what bakers
would call molding trough aud kuead
It adding enough flour to make It
tiff pulp. The lit tald about the tai
of their band the better, but that I a
trivial matter. Then the mixture wa
molded Into little pat about the cie
of a fltbcake. These were plied on k
board and taken to various roof to '
dry. In a short time they became a
bard a brickbat and can be used a
mltslle In can of emergency.
What do you do with thou things?"
( atked one of the Itnllana,
What a we dof he answered. 'W
insk' a da-iumuter food "n da winter
food.'
"Each rake, I learned after much
questioning, will mtk enough soup for
ig men. Tbl, with a little black
bread, constitute a meal for many of
those fellow. One can see bow cheap
ly can llv and ctlll eat food that
I quit Butrttlou. Tbe cake at
peddled to their fellow countrymen by
owe of the Italian and told at a ridic
ulously amall price. When I had do-
parted from that backyard afier two
hour' Investigation the saying ram
lo me with greater force than ever thitt
'one-half the world due not know how
tb other half live,"' '
FREAKS IN LUNCH ORDERS.
Walter Calls Attention to th Imlta
uv naoit Among Patron.
One of the musing tilings to be no
ticed at th lunch counters I th lmt.lt
of Imitation. If the man on th end
studies tbe bill of fare and then order
a bam sandwich, pumpkin pie, I a
glat of uilk, ait his neighbors are like
ly to duplies t hi order and soon then
Will be whole row eating exactly th
Mine thing. Kometluie this similar
ity of appetite cbum serious embar
rassment Thl I Invariably the cat
If th occupants of the high chairs shirt
about Ihe nam time aud the men on tb
end bv numerous chance to set ex-
al Hit tie t.m lu.a,,i u 11
Thl la promptly refuted In language
tnat i court eon and polite beyond de-
" 'tnmu. - 4 urn in potsiuie purchaser
Wt with great dignity and ele
anc. When a bargain la completed
toe, pureuajier never pay It himself.
The chief iteward I called, notified
mat the article ha been accepted, and
when the bill come In tb "boy" settle
It giving an acocunt quarterly to bla
master or money disbursed for the
household. Money a w have It I un
known In China. There ar no allver
dollar, no fraction of dollar, a quar-
ier ana iu-cnt piece, no paper bank
note. There I a coin called "cash"
with a hole punched In the middle that
i used ror small transaction. "Cth"
r tur to give out before the nwn
hour I past
"if funny how laxy people are." ssld
one of tb waiter at a down-town
lunch place. "There ar lots of men
who won't look at a bill of far and
they Just tar over the counter aud
ak ror anything hat come Into their
neaii. ir tuey don't happen to nee an.
other fellow eating Jut what th
want If we bar something sort of
out of the ordinary, llko fried oyster,
omethlng that can be written on th
card In Ink to It will mak a good hit
pretslon on the public, If a losing In
vetment It th fellow on the end near
th door happen to pick It out Then
very oue that paste blm see the oy-
can be atrung like bead on a itrin it "I .'m ,00 t,m ' wmr chorus
takes 100 ni.,.. tn i.. .." oyster. There alu'l a Da-
one ttandard cent Gold Is onl n.l ,ron ,bt wn, corn uw'' " or cold
for ornament In China, never for cur
rent coin.
why
the brink of the cataract, a great cur
rent surging by blm on every hand.
But It seemed hopeless. He saw no
wsy of getting to hore, and no one
from the shore could get to him. Many
people on the banks of the river were
What's In a Name?
Mrs. Wgglet Do you know
this Is called golf bat?
Waggtet-Yes, my dear. It la be
cause people who play golf don't wear
them. Judge.
Jealoua Beantlea.
Rob What doe that mean? Both of
those pretty girl cut you dead Just
then. .
Boy Ala! ye. I made
a stupid
Hla Viewa.
Jack Bachelor (engaged) Cf coarse,
i realize that matrimony Is a yery Im
portant step, and all thatl '
Pied Newlywed (boarselr)-Sten?
watching him and f-in .t,.A. ... Great 8co. mant Ifi a whole flla-bt mistake. I told Lily she wa a tweet
tome plan to tave him. Finally a large of ,teps and miWn to ' over on " ". d Roe that he made m
derrick waa brought to bear, ucb at I mry t?Pi-Puc- "'Ink ot a Illy.-Phlladelphla Bulletin.
used In building operations. A great No Limit,
arm wltb ropes was swung out nmr I understand that you are a di.tnnt
the current and when the man had relative of the wealthy Goldman."
fastened himself securely with the "Yes."
ropes he was raised up high and swung . "How distant?"
A distant as tbey can keep me."
Philadelphia Record.
A Famous Vine.
Everybody has heard of th fa mom
grapevine now one hundred and thirty. Idea being catching or contaglou. Anv
tongue.
"People are Just like sheen or veese.
They Ilk to follow a lender If It's la
nothing but eating. I've een big-
worded article about thought and
L .... a a . . JL
iwo year oiu at Hampton Court. It
root are popularly supposed to extend
as far at and under th Tbame. which
li nearly four hundred yardi away. A
visitor wa actually heard the other
day telling hi friend quite terloutly
that tbe root of th vine retched a
pnuoaopuer wno na a cuance to wait
on a lunch counter would beiim-a i
that ther theory. Idea I a catch,
lug a th nieatle and don't you for.
get It"
little clastic
In, Just a a large stone would be raised
In constructing a building,
, Work and Atmosphere.
During tb building ot a railroad in
Switzerland, at an altitude or ten tbou-
Farorabla Chance.
Budolph-If I should ask old Bullions
ror hi daughter's hand what do you
sand feet the discovery has been made think of my chances?
that the atmosphere Is to raritled that Harold Very fair. You have youth,
men employed npon the work cannot health and a good constitution ani
continue their labor for half to long a ihould pull through wltb careful nur
tlme as Is possible when working In a Ing.-I'uck.
lower atmospner. The cold also mar
Homeric.
The following very
come from Cornblll:
A few year ilnce two gentlemen.
each bearing the lurname of Homer,
not an unusual one In Doriet, contest
ed a county dlvltlon, and at a public
meeting one of them, feeling auddenlv
unweu, naa to retire, when a local hu
morist, on bit opponent' tide, remarked:
"Homer' Odd, I iec."
"Homeri Ill, I add!" promntlv re.
joined an adherent.
have something to do wltb It. for
every one knows, the atmosphere bt
come colder and colder tbe greater dls
tance it ll above tbe surface of the
earth. Were it not for the atmosobere
Indeed, the ordinary temperature of tb
world would d Deiow iero to the ex
tent of three hundred degrees Fanren-
neit
Too many culinary csslstanta ar
ur to Impair the flavor of th qoo-omnia.
Many Line There.
Telllt-To be auccesful In buslnets a
man mutt confine himself to one Una.
Atklt-What If he Is a palmist ?-Bal-tJmore
American.
Woman's Rlghta.
Btox Do you believe In women hav
ing the same right a men?
I Stuggs Ye, I do. There wa on
tood In front of where I at In a car
to-day and tramped all over my feet,
and If che'd been a man I would have
, bit ber one, ure.-Detrolt Fret Press.
The Open Door.
The Empress Dowager trembled with
rage.
"Shut the door!" she shrieked, he.
towing a terrible look upon the Chris-
tlan power. "Don't you see you're let.
ting in about a million fllet?"
Her majesty'i strenuous reslttance to
the Inevitable 1 tbu shown to proceed
upon the prompting of her basic fem
ininity, and 1 hereupon a mystery no
longer. Detroit Journal.
To believe that a task to ImpotslUt
to to make it to.
A Tama Gull.
VlriAAM O U I ...... . ..
far a. Dlt.on, on the other .Id. of th Advocat. tZ 'b,P1i. Tho , -T T
river, mil or more away, and th i:?i!lT..V.d.nl't
same Person asserted that th. " rv""' ' ""' "'
crop contltted of three thm.. 0,ner n,mol' al then relate, tb
bXhe? tJ. aII ihr.""d. f Which be noticed
fact, the root of the vine bav been
Ji.a. f .1 a . ...
Ave rard from th. n..m .'a 4 ff" nnea to see on bl door-
. . " "r . ' tep these i
e wivtj joer me Tina "innwi" i .. .... -
about three thouaaiui hn,.h-. "" -" ana my neighbor'!
twelve hundred are allot,. . Tl-V,' "ll CBl ,,"ln
- -w vu.uiu. I tweom ns lnlow.Mt.,,1 t i.. .. j
11 "- I " , juuiyeu Hie
wmoeiio Art. lence, and asked Jonoa f i,u r,,.ii..
in trance, uermany, Belaium smi ered net. He told mu th. ,..-
Holland glrto are drilled from the era- had shot the suit a fnw ,i,.v. i.f
die In every branch of the domestic ! broken It wing, and a they wero
art, A French or German mald-of-aU Plng bl bouse he noticed tliu poor
work I a houtehold treasure-Just be- ufferlng thing nod bought It lie
cause the bai been taught her busl- bandaged the broken wing, mid tho
, vuuxng nuu nousework do not gun, sccniina to understnmi hi. i,i,i
come naturally. We don't expect a Intention, became quite tnme and
,Hri,M" Wl w wnm nii trna wueu ui pretty iiona n cm I nut hli
wj iuimti, uih we eipeci miracles m nana.
our kitchens, and we aftk Ann to nor. Jone entertained m t i,..,t
rn-m .1.. t. .. . . . . -"" HOW
...... .., un uvvvr ueun taugiit. guu usually took It meal Bring.
'rhaUfa 11 fltdtltw iaja.la,. . II -. I . a . m
.Li- -V. Vi... u V"T' r 109 ?, . l""18 01 oy",er Bna fork, he
"v,'i '"! an neeo 10 ne nein. caneu: --uoosev. annum, ,,.,..i
ed and technically trolned In domestic tbe bird came running to blm. Then
ne neia out an oyster on the fork, and
Child Worker In Kurono. ul mw QUckly With It yi.
Switzerland allow no child under 14 i w ana flte It as demurely a If
yeor-to become a wage earner, the nitvymn "aA been wrved to It in thl
at which, under the English factory BU 1,8
law, he cease to be a child and I rank- The 0(,det thing oecurrod one day
ea a a -young person." English boy """" u'B"oor gave the gull some
uun yiuue or ment ror dinner. lie
placed tho ment on the irromui . h,
gull, but the gull, espying ft pan of wa,
ter near by, took the meat piece by
piece, and walking over, dropped It luto
the water. Then, true to It nature, It
began fishlug for II dluuer,
The World' Highest nhi..,n..
Antwerp ba the highest chinu,.,- m
the world. It belongs tn th. mi-,..
It 1 the want of motive" that mnkaa
Work Company and It 410 fet hieii.
lire dreary. The Interior diameter I 26 feet tt the
of 12 year of age may still work In
the mine ror nrty-rour houn week,
which I longer than the hour for men
In the mlnei of Northumberland and
Durham, England.
We Imagine that disappointment In
a love ausw is reatiierwelgbt grief
compared wltb putting up wltb a cros
nusnana wno was defeated ut ail election.
mm and 11 feet tt tb top,