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About The Hillsboro argus. (Hillsboro, Or.) 1895-current | View Entire Issue (May 10, 1900)
MY BEAUTIFUL BABY BOY Was nm Ma4o Hapay y X.yJla 1 rtukkM1 Tafetakla Cantpoano: Mlm n Twa Wka Maw Mar CkilAram. " Dsai Mm. Pixtsam . It wu my ardent desire to hare a child. I had been married three year and was childless, so wrote to you to find out the reason. After fol- t lowing your kind ad vice and taking Lydia E. Pinkham'e Vege table Compound. I be came the mother of a beautiful baby boy, the joy of our home. He ia fat, healthy baby, ' thanks to your medi cine. "Ma. Minda FtXKLK, Loacoe, N. V. From Qrateful Mr. Lane "Dear Mm. PtSKHAM : I wrote you a let ter some time go, stating my case to you. "I had pains through my bowels, headache, and backache, felt tired and sleepy all the time, was troubled with the whites. I followed your advice, took your Vegetable Com pound, and it did me lots of good. I now have a baby girt I certainly be lieve I would have miscarried had it not been for Lydia E. rinkham'a Vege table Compound. I had a very easy time; was ick only a short time. I think your medicine is a godsend to women in the condition in which I was. I recommend it to all as the best medicine for women." Mm. Mast Lak x, Coytee, Tenn. Connecticut figures from its recent tat school census shows that it bas 20 per cent more inhabitants than it had in 1890. The population ol the coun try on this basis ia T5. 150,000. 8HAKB IJtTO TOIR SHOE. Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder for the feet It cures painful, swollen, smarting, nerv ous feet, and instantly takes the sling oui of corns and bunions. It's the greatest comfort discovery of the age. Allen's Foot Ease makes tight or life shoes feel easr. It is a certain cure for Ingrowing Nails, sweating, callous and hot. tired, aching feet. Wt have over 30.000 testimonials. Try it today. Sold bv all drufrgists and hoe stores. Bv mail for 25c in stamps. Trial package FREE. Address, Alleu S. Olmsted, Le Roy, S. Y. With the men all at the front fight ing on the kopjes, the Boer women ma; be forced to harvest the cropjes, and, il the worst comes, to defend their homes with their mopjee. THREE DAILY TRAINS BETWEEN OGDEN AND DENVER. Vv'' I i in. 411 The increase in transcontinental travel by way of Salt Lake City is con sequence of the scenio and other attrac tions of the route, has recently justified the Rio Grande Western Railway in . connection with the Denver & Rio Grande and Colorado Midland Railroads says the Salt Lake Tribune, in estab lishing a triple daily last passenger service between Ogden and Denver. . -r.- All of these trains are equipped with ; . lire ibhsi appliances, improvements ana 'cars. This road now operates through sleepers between Chicago, Ogden and Ban Francisco, also a perfect dining car service. Send 2c postage for literature, rates or other information to J. D. Mansfield, 253 Washington street, Fort land; or Geo. W. Heintz, general pas senger agent, Salt Lake City. Two lions escaped from a menagerie in Valencia, Spain, and injured several people before they were captured. One of them leaped through the plate glass window of a jewelry store, and scattered watches and diamonds with recklessness. - By a simple twist of the wrist too ean line DP the auttar bar on th Champion Draw Cut Mower You can't do It on any other. And tbsr are oiner points too. Sena tor Catalogue. MITCHELL, LEWIS & STAYER CO, POBTLAMD, oBKOOW. BAD SPRING BLOOD Requires lome sort of a tonic that cleans out the lmpurltiss. One that rsally does this and more is floore'5 Revealed Remedy And does It thoroughly-. Pleasant to take. 11.00 at tout druggist's. sv ua.t ii ... la st-asvJ kv dnasista, I PACIFIC COAST NEWS Canmarciat and Financial Happenings af Interest la tfca drawing Wastar Statas. Creamery tot Skorldan. At a meeting held at Sheridan, Or. for the purpose of discussing the cream try question, H. E. Louudshury, of the Southern Pacific, and Dr. Withyeombe, of the state agriculture college, made ad di esse. A Urge number of the rep resentative fanners of that district were present and listened very attentively to the interesting data presented by Dr. Withycombe's address. Questions were asked, and all present weie im pressed with the desirability of starting a creamery at that point, as they all admit that no money can be made or mortgages lifted with wheat at present prices, and especially as fruit and hop raising have not given the relief ex pected mainly, however, on account of lack ot co-operation in marketing the product. Waihlngtoa State MUltla. There is a movement on foot to hold the militia state encampment at Taco- ma in July. Governor Rogers favors the project. The state provides for the expenses white in camp only, and rail way fare and other expenses incurred will have to be borne bv the men if the event of tlie state encampment idea is earned out. There are no funds avail able from the state treasury for en campruent purposes this year, but efforts are being made by the Tacotna contingent to provide for the entertain ment of the visiting companies. Sawmill at Deer Creek. A sawmill of 40.000 feet capacity daily is soon to be in running order on Deer creek, one half mile above Britton station. This new company has been formed by Robert Service, Charlie Tihbs and Thomas Tibbs, The Tibbs brothers have timber that will make 15,000,000 feet of lumber on Deer cieek. The mill is furnished with a large dynamo, which will furnish lights (or the mill and lumber yard. lne machinery la all in transit, and is to bo in running order within 40 days. Patting la a Ballast. The Northern Pacific is still working a large force of men on the roadbed between Vollmer and Clearwater, Ida., and putting in a ballast of a most per manent nature. The ballast consists of clay and small rock about the sise of an egg, which, when once set, becomes like concrete. It will take about two months yet to put the grade in first class condition, and the company is not sparing any pains to do everything in good shape. Asked to Pledge Acreage. At Xewberg, Or., blank contracts furnished by the Willamette Beet Sugar Company have been received and the canvass among the farmers for securing acreage will begin at once. Solicitors have been appointed, vis.: A. Clark, D. Turner, W. Cooper, William Man ning and R. B. Linnville. As a basil for beginning the canvass 1,000 seres have already been subscribed at public meetings. Small Strike at the Paper Hills. Eleven boys employed as cutters in the Willamette Pulp Ss Paper Mills, at Oregon City, Or., walked into the com pany's office and asked for an increase of wages from 75 cents to f 1 per day. The matter was finally compromised by a promise to give the boys steady work. Only about three of the num ber were working on full time, the others getting on an average of 15 to 20 days each month. Smallpox Among Indians. The quarantine that had been placed on the Indian settlement at the month of Cayote gulch, near Lewiston, Idaho, some weeks ago, has been raised. There were nine cases of smallpox un der quarantine, and one of the victims, woman, died as a result of going bathing while afflicted with the di ease. New posts are being set in the tele phone line between Vale and Ontario, Or. The Toledo, Or., creamery is now re ceiving about 1,000 pounds of milk daily, and will shortly have nearly all it can use. J. T. Moylan, representing an east ern syndicate, was in Kalama, Wash., closing a deal for purchase of timber lands on the Coweeman river. The prices paid ran rom $1,600 to $3,500 per quarter section. A gilt-watch faker has been working the people of Elgin, Or. Ripe wild strawberries were picked near McMinnville, Or., April 23. An expert is examining the coal pros pects on Birch creek, 20 miles south of Pendleton, Or. Ellensburg's, Wash., municipal electric lighting plant is about to be improved at a cost of a little more than $3,000. New Whatcom has $78.80 on hand to entertain President McKinley when he shall visit the coast and that town the coming summer. Preparations are making for a big season at the watering places of West port and Cohasset, Gray's Harbor. New seashore attractions and excursion rates are advertised. The Walla Walla creamery is nsing 10,000 pounds of milk per day, and will soon have a branch running at Freewater. One-half of the milk now consumed comes from Umatilla county, Oregon. George Mapes is gathering his cattle near Plush, Lake county, Or., to take them south. He will take about 1,200 head. He has wagons arranged like hayraoks upon which to haul the calves that are no? able to make the trip on foot. K. Elliott, of Lebanon, Or., has sold 200 head of Crook county horses to R. W. Nichols. Mr. Nichols will first take a drove of them to California and sell them, and will then take a lot to Portland. A new rule has just been adopted by tne Spokane police department by which any Indian found in the city who has not a pass from the Indian agent or is not on some special business will be promptly arrested as a vagrant and sent back to the reservation. Eleven Indians were jailed the first BRADSTREET'S REPORT. ranker Sukattlrnea at Prices. Demand and P-radstreet's says: A further, subsid ence of demand and leveling of price is noted in several lines this week, this leveling being no doubt aided by tlv unsettling enect ot the rather more than usually disturtad cousideratiou in labor circles. Its net result is some thing approaching dullness in many channels of distribution, increased eon servatism in the making of ventures aud a disposition to digest busiuesa al reaoy arranged tor before making new engagements. That the basic eoudt turns of general business, such as the ouO.ook for crops, the export demam aud the increased purchasing power of the people at large, have not been much reduced, but, on the coutrarv actually improved, seems evident from the advices received this week. Business at wholesale is relatively quieter, which is not unusual at this period, but more than ordiuarily mark ed attention is being concentrated upon retail deuiaud, which is, of course, re lied upon as a measure of progress of actual consumption. Touching this public demand, it may be stated that relatively best reports come from the Pacific coast aud from the Not th west. r lour shipments this week are verv large. Wheat, including floor,, ship ments for the week aggregate 4,637,02: bushels, sgamst 3.803,803 bushels last week. For the week failures number 153 in the United States, as compared with 182 last week. Failures for April in the Dominion were fewer than in April a year ago, but liabilities were nearly 15 per ceut 'leavnf, . . PACIFIC COAST TRADE. Seattle Markets. Onions, $9, Lettuce, hothouse, 40$45c doa. Potatoes, $1S(517; f 17(3 18. Beeta, per sack, oOiguOe. Turnips, per sack, 4060o. ... Carrots, per sack, 76 i85oi Parsnips, per sack, 60 (975c. -Cauliflower, California 8690. Strawberries $2.002.5O per case lelery 10 60c per dos. Cabbage, native and California, $1.0031.25 per 100 pounds. Apples, $2.00(3 J.75; $3.003.50. I'runes, 60o per box. Butter Creamery, 22c; Eastern 22c iairy, 17(8 82c; ranch, 1617e pound fcggs I613I60. Cheese 14(9150. Poultry 14c; dressed, 14(3 15c spring, $5. Hay Paget Sound timothy, $11.00 12.00; choice Eastern Washington timothy, $18.00 10.00 Corn Whole, $28.00; cracked, $23; feed meal, $23. Barley Rolled or ground, per ton, $20. Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25; blended straights, $3.00; California, 3,o; oncKwneai nour, fo.uo; gra ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.80(84.00. Mills tuffs Bran, per ton, $13.00; shorts, per ton, $14.00. Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton; middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal, per ton, $30.00. tresh Meats Choice dressed beef steers, price 80; cows, 7c; mutton. 80; pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 81 10c. Hams Large, 18c; small, 13 V4; breakfast bacon, 12o; dry salt sides, Sc. Portland Market. Wheat Walla Walla. 52863o; Valley, 63c; Bluestem, 6O0 per bushel. . Flour Best grades, $3.00; graham, $2.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel. Oats Choice white, 8flo; choice gray, 83c per bushel. Bar ley Feed barley, $ 1 4 ($ 1 4 . 50 ; brewing, $16.0018.50 per ton. Millstuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 per ton. Hay Timothy, $9 10; clover, $7 7.50; Oregon wild hay, $87 per ton, Butter Fancy creamery. 80 35c; seconds, 45c; dairy, , 25 80c; store, 22 3 25o. Eggs 16o per dozen, . Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c; Young America, 14c; new cheese lOo per pound. Poultry Chickens, mixed, $4.00(3 4.50 per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs, $2.50(33.50; geese, $6.508.00 forold; $4. 50O6.50; ducks, $6.00 7.00 per dozen; turkeys, live, 1415o per pound. Potatoes 40 70o per sack; sweets, 22ic per pound. egetables Beet, $1; turnips, 75c; per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab, bage, l4o per pound; parsnips, . 75; onions, 8c per pound; carrots,. 6O0. Hops 2 80 per pound Wool Valley, 12(3 13c per pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 27 !0c per pound. Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers and ewes, 3c; dressed mutton,. 7 7sO per pound; lambs, 6io. Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $6.00; light and feeders, $4.60; dressed, $5.00 6.50 per 100 pounds. Beef Gross, top steers, $4.00 4. 50i cows, $3.50(34.00; dressed beef, 6, 1o per pound. " , :, Veal Large, 6i7icj small, 8 8K0 per pound. Tallow 5(g5Kc; No 2 and grease, 8K4c per pound. San Francisco Market. Wool Spring Nevada, 1416opei pound; Eastern Oregon, 12 16c; Val ley, 2022c; Northern, 10 12o. tiopa I8U crop, ligiBo per pound. ' -' ' Butter Fancy creamery 1717o; do seconds, ltt 10 3ic; fancy dairy, 16c; do seconds, 1415o per pound. Eggs Store, 15c; ' fancy ranch, 17c. ."...! Millstuffs Middlings,, $17.00 20.00; bran, $12.50 13.60., ; Hay Wheat $6. 50 9 .60; wheat and oat $6.00 (3; 9.00; best barley $5.00 7.00; alfalfa, $5.006.60 per ton; straw, 25 40o per bale. Potatoes Early Rose, 60 65c; Ore gon Burbanks, 70c $ 1.00; river Bur banks, 40 75c; Salinas Burbanks, 80c 1.10 per sack. Citrus Fruit Oranges,' Valencia, $2. 75 3.25; Mexican limes, $4.00 6.00; California lemons 75o$1.60; do choice $1.752.00 per box.- Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50 2.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom inal; Persian dates, 6)o per pound. REACHES BY T1I0NE. UP-TO-DATE DEVICE OP AN DIANA CLKRQYMAN. IN. Bed-Rlddta CommauUanta Not Da prlved of Hla IHaconrae Klevtrlclts lWtpa the l'aator to Spread tha OoapeU Science long ago discovered t proc ess by means of which a man might If willing to pay fur It-lounge about In slippers and smoking jacket aud enjoy s high-class concert lie ueed uot ar ray uiinsoir in mil eveuitig dress, go through a stormy night to a distant hall aud there listen to the rupture In spiring sounds; he could remain at home and Indulge In a smoke begrimed pipe the while his soul was soothed by things said to be equal to taming the savage breast. The phonograph did It for him. Spiritual consolation, however, has until the last Sunday of them all never been adiululstered at abort range. True, the telephone may aud doubtless PRSArillNO THROl'OB A TRANSMITTER. has been used many times to rail a clergyman to a bed of sickness or to some sorrewlug family ueedlng susten ance not of the flesh. But few, If any. mlulsters have preached to-their flocks by speaking through sn electrical transmitter. This was what was done recently In Elkhart. Ind. Dr. K. II. Owynne. of the First Tresbyterlan Church, preached In bis pulpit and a bed ridden parishioner listened to the words of hope without attending upon the shrine. Francis Hoover, a member of Dr. G Wynne's church. Is a martyr to rheu matism, yet he desires with a mlgbtv desire to attend the services of bis church. But being uuable lo do this from physical infirmity local scientists applied the phonograph theory to an ordinary telephone. The transmitter was fitted out with a specially delicate diaphragm, which when the reverend orator stood a few feet away sent to the listening ears the full text of his discourse. Th us was one amltm- troubled, suffering soul made glnd. Opens Up a New Klcld. The successful experiment opens up t new fleld for practical theoloa-r. 1 I 1.1 mm pS mm LISTENING TO A SEUMON BY TELEPHONE. which but for the temptation to sloth which might be covered thereunder ap peals to the sympathetic ndud. Dr. Gwynne's experiment was made sole ly to help a sick man who asked for his ministrations. Mr. Hoover wished to hear the sermon of his pastor, but time lacked to give It a second deliv ery. Also the other members of the church were entitled to bear him dis course upon the gospel. 80 the device was arranged that those who cared to attend church at the regular hour should bear, and also the sick man need not be denied. The device could be extended to embrace others who were unable to go forth to the sacred edifice. Few ministers lack those of their flocks upon whom the hand of provi dence has not been heavily laid. Most of the men of the cloth find It to be one of their saddest, yet sweetest duties to mJnfcter out of the pulpit to those who otherwise would lack the consolations of religion. If need be with the per fected telephone such might lie abed and yet receive the consolations of the word. It might be that dozens could thus be spiritually refreshed even with the flesh too weak to withstand the fatigues of. the short Journey church ward. It would be comparatively easy to establish a crlcult by means of which dozen homes, widely scattered on earth, might yet be drawn nigh to the throne by means of a party Hue. Those, Indeed, unable to lift themselves from bed of pain and suffering, could re ceive the message from the Hps -of their pastor without exertion on their own part One machine fronting the pulpit might thus be the means of giving sat isfaction to many a man who was seek ing light, but lacked the strength to go where It was to be bad. With the phonograph no church building need be constructed and main tained. A borne for the pastor,, with an organ In one room, the room big enough to contain the quartette, choir, minister and bis family, with phono graphic connections with all the mem bers of the church which might be as sessed on the new pew rent basis would be enough. The members could listen to the singing, hear the sernv and mall their contributions. Thus the expeuses would be limited le the minister's salary, tus parish house sod such contributions ss the members de sired to make to church organisations In general. While It Is too early to prognosticate the msuner of receiving church con solations of the future, It might not be amiss to suggest that some such plan will be ultimately adopted, it could be done without any great loss of piety -luilecd, maybe, with au access, for the show part of religion would disap pear when closed In behind the cur tains of the prvlate dwelling. Tills might be a good thing or uot, accord ing to the point of view. Hut the be ginning uuide for a sick man might well expand Into s system for the well which would do away with the scrub bing of the tiys Sunday morning thai they might tie presentable In church. Divorce le Not Too Kaiy. "Every ouce In a while we have per feet hemorrhages of righteous Indigna tion upon the subject of divorce," writes Edward Bok of "The Ease Wit Which We Marry" In the Ladles' Home Journal. "We say divorce must stop, or that there must be no divorce. Hut wouldn't It be a bit better If we let thl subject alone for a while and concerned ourselves somewhat with the ev which leads to divorce? The fact 0 the matter Is that there la s notion which Is altogether wrong, that dlvorc Is easy In this country. Divorce Is not easy. 1 am far from saying that our divorce laws are what they should be, Ktit It is a senseless thing to make those laws more stringent while we al low our marriage laws to be ss loose ss they are. Let those who cannot see any farther than the revision of present divorce laws ask themselves this question; la It fair to allow fool Uh, luexperlenced girls to be led Into what they Mleve to be s falry-palace, ami then, when they find It to be prison-yes and worse, a positive sub- uru to tne infernal reglons-to refuse to let them out. If they can get out is that merciful? Isthatjustr Would we not come closer to the common sense of this whole question If, before we go any rurther In this campaign against divorce, we turn back aud tighten the door which leads to It? Dl vorce Is not so easy but that we ran af ford to leave It precisely where It ror tue time being, it Isn t a particle easier than It should be, so long ss allow marriage to be as loose ss It Is." Mammoth Docks, Tue marine docks at Portsmouth England, are the vastest In the world, covering more thau 800 acres, and em ploying some lO.tHjn men. Two of the largest docks are 0O0 feet long and S3 feet broad. All are what Is known as stone graving docks. They are dug out of a sufficient depth, length and width to enable vessels of a certain slxe to be admitted. They are con structed of granite and fitted with heavy gates; the vessel Is floated Into the dock and properly shored up on the keel blocks the gates are closed -the water then pumped out. Such docks, says a corresKjnilent of the Provi dence Journal, are all below the level of the dockyard. The walls are built with stairs like the seats lu an amphi theater, so that workmen may go up ana down; and great cranes llftlug for ty tons aro used In handling materials. When a vessel Is completed, all that Is necessary to launch lier Is to open the gates, llll the dock, and she floats out without risk or trouble. The ailvan take of a number of docks at a sta tion Is the readiness with which a small vessel may be put Into a small dock and a large vessel Into a large one at once, this being done with so much economy of time and labor. How He Won the Npttrs. Sir Dlghton Probyn Is well known as comptroller and treasurer to the Prince of Wales. Sir Dlgbton Is now In bis sixty-seventh year, but la still erect and soldierly In bis bearing. He was a major general when he entered the prince's service In 1872, and had put behind him a great deal of very excel lent military service. During the In dian mutiny alone he was seven times mentioned In dispatches, and won the Victoria cross, besides being thanked by the governor general. It was at Agra that he won his V. C. He was separated from his men and beset by six of the enemy, three of whom he cut down with his own sword. Then he saw a prominent standard, and sal lied out single handed, slew the bearer, and brought back the flag under a per fect hall of grapenhot and bulets, Latest Invention. Every one who has ever attemnted to mitten a baby whose thumb Invaria bly goes "wlgglewagglo," will rejoice to know that at last a woman has de signed a thumbless mitten, simply shaped to the little hand as It lies flat, wun we tuumt) against the fore finger. Every man ought to lay down the rule that he won't dig up bis wife's flower beds till she lets hi in wear his spring overcont.-New York Press. Tho best diamonds are of the first water-but It's dlfferaut with milk. 0UK BUDGET OF FUN HUMOROUS SAYINOS AND DO INQS HERK AND THIPX Jekaa aa4 Jokeleta tkat Ara Soss to Have Haaa Keceatlr Bars SJlaa 4 Dalast tkat At Ola, Carleaa aa LaakakU-Tka Waaa's Maaaer. Tom (to bis sister)- Kitty, If you give me a bit of your cske I'll spoil the piano so that you won't have to take lesson for a month. Modern Matrimony, He-Will you lie mine? Khe-Hardly that, Henry. Why csn't we arrange It so that each of us will be ours? No rhow at All. Katlroad AgentWell, I beat you on that party of Keutucklans to go to Cleveland. Steamer Agent-Of course you did, You didn't think I'd try to get them to go by water, did you? Hh. Had HtatUllea. "Julia, dear." said young Mr. tllltey timidly, to Ills charmer, "du you think that a married couple could live on salary of $750 a year?" "O. ltlck," replied Julia, earnestly "I saw an account of bow s mau sup ported himself, hla wife aud two cull dren on IXV) a year. I'll run aud ge the paper." Invitations were Issued the following week. Taasbt la th Art. Mrs. Newcrase-There, William Mc- lleury, I've caught ye lu the set of go ing through my bloomer pockets for money, aud only last week I gave y 10 cents. What on earth have ye doue with It? How Jahuns- Hart Hint. Molher-Wliut are you crying ah I Id? "Johnny hurt me." "How, pray?" for, "I was going to hit htm with my fist. when be ducked his h ad- aud I struck the wall." bolted th tfnrnrla. Amiable Hastens-Well, now you are ere, 1 hope you will stay to lunch with ie. tSushlng Visitor Oh. thank you so much, dear Mis. Browne. If we may (To daughter.l Then1. Vera, won't that bo delightful? H11.I1 a pleasant sur prise for you! Severely Truthful Child Not a sur prise, mother, Vou know you said Mrs, llrowtie must ask us to much if we only stopped long enough !lUstuu Globe. I'raferreil to RunVr. "You look awful sick, old man. I'll telephone out to your house that you are coming home early." "Oh. no! Don't let my wife know," "Hut why not?" "She has been trying to get me home early for s mouth, to move some fur nlture," Different f hades. Mr. Btubb-u-gends say that the shade of Nero still hangs about Home. Mrs. Htubh-But 1 didn't know lamp shades went In use lu the time uf Nero, John. A Saving tk-henta. Pete Why do dey have doin axes In e railroad cars? Lem-Well, when dey have a collis ion dey use dem axes ter kill de pas sengers, so as ter keep de datnnges below 15,000, A Noisy Kxploalve, Mrs. Blng-Dldn't you discharge your hired girl last week? Mrs. Wing -Yes. Why? Mrs. Blng-Oh, she came to me. and I've heard all kinds of reports ever since. , Dangers of Lnxnrjr. "Wouldn't you like to eat rour break. fast In bed?" "Goodness, no; eating breakfast In bed would demoralise me so I couldn't get up and earn money to pay for It." lu After Years, Hualinnd-Wben we were married you confessed entire faith In my ver acity, but now you don't seem to be lieve n word I say. Wife Yes, but this Is a Drocrelv flgo arid even a confession of faith needs to bo revised occasionally. Full Information Wanted, JagHby-Shay, officer, how (blot t.t. leu f (hlc) union stash'n? Offlcer-Oh, about ten minutes' walk Jaggsby-Whasser ten (hlc) mim.iui.- walk f-for you or (hlc) for me? An Exception. Wabash-IIello, old chan! Haven- seen you for an age. How are von? Olive (from St. Louis) I'm not ,.i. Ing as well as I might. I've enjoyed Tery poor health during tha . ..... Wabash-Well, I'm glad you oujoy tt; most people don't FrUnilty Advice. lnnllii!i.U ,'mIIv I hira k tlou to-sw-bluw u bwalns out dolcber know. Miss Cuttlog-lndeed! Wtll, In rase you do I'd sdvls you not to say any thing about It afterward and no ous will ever know the difference. Irons IC villain a. "That girl," said the postmistress,' u carrying on a clandestine rorrvsp.iub nee with some young num." s "How do ymi kuowf ssketl the urlghbor woman, "She never uses postal cards snj more."- Philadelphia Press. Metatluuahln. Irst Psrent-lleiHvforth I dlmiwu you! Begone, you son of the devil!! Hon- Good by, father!- Fun, Ilia Ml.fortnna, Mother Alice, I was very much snr. prised and shocked last evening when I passed the parlor door and saw Mr. WiMMllie with Ills face close, to ynura, Imught.r Yes, mamma; Isn't It shame the poor fellow Is so awfully nearsighted? Thoaa Lovlnsl tllrla, Clara (dreased for the ball)-How do I look lu this dress, Maude? Maude Positively handsome. Why, I hardly revogulsnl you, Afiar tn Hiwnklns. Hobby (aulidtivd and humbled) - Hay, uia! Ma-Wtml Is It IU.by? Hobby Won't y' pit's leud m a little piece of bread su 'butler? KtMattrag-lng. George-Now that we sre engaged. drareat, may I have Jut one kiss be fore your mother returns? lira rest -Well remember, Just one. George but mamtiis won't return fur two hours. Ilglnnlna- nf the Kml. "You rail cook, I suppose?" queried the young man who wss feeling his wsy to s proposal. "No," was the frank reply. "I never rveo stleiiipted It. My parents ncvi-r thought I would have to seek a positluu as cook," The Memedjr. M 1t 'j . sr 1 Secretary-Mr. Hmlth writes that be Is greatly pained that you do not remit st once. Proprietor- I'alned? Gracious. eu h! in s bottle of our pain killer. 1(1. Point of View. Fair Medical Student WliBt do you think of women for physicians? Old Doctor- I think they sre all right, Why. we derive two thirds of our In come from women. lie Knew. The young teacher had Just given them ouu of those reading lu Human history. "Now, Samuel," she said, gaxlug en couragingly st the snmllcst lad. "tell u what followed the burning of Homer All de lusursnee companies busted!" responded Samuel, with startling promptness. A Hlnsle File, Convict Well, did the guvnor git me pardon petition? Warden-Yes, ami put It on llle. Convict (esgerly)-Say, tell him to re turn me petition If unavailable ami te send de tile along wld It His Sticking Qualities, Miss Murray tf ill Mr. Hoiiiuwood Is a regular stick. Miss Point Hrexo-You surprise me. Miss Murray Hill-When he calls on me he stick In his chair long after the time when he ought to be leaving for home. Pittsburg Chronlolo-Teleirraitu. Vocal Quality, She Did rou observe the timbre of his voice? He Well, yes, I noticed that It was pretty wooden. The Unexpected All Aronnd. "Was your Dutch supper a success? "Yes, Indeed; we wore sabots to sur prise the men," "Were they surprised?" . "1 think so; they had worn sabots r surprise us."-Detrolt Free Press. Expansion for Weak Lungs. Some twentv voars nrn I saw st till) London Aquarium a strong man e hlbltlng feats of strength, breaking chains tV exnandlmr hla nliAut nml his biceps, etc., and, going out, bought a small pamphlet Issued by him In which ha stated Unit In early youth h was delicate and had been almost condemn ed llV tha flllilni-n. Mil,,.. I, l, I, ml imiimh 111 iniu 110 ,, tied a string around his chest and tried ., , " -I i""s till be Succeeded. tin tlmn fiiiinil ho 10 ureas it nv aviumi! , 11 b..,ii.Hr mi could break a stronger string, and kept Bt It till he fnnnil Mmuaf In avoi-v'wIIV strengthened, freed from his trouble, and ultimately able to exhibit himself as a specimen of extraordinary devel opment and strength. I have person ally tried thn Btrnn mm,1. I.l.mu mill - ... HV.'a m Hlvi.n recommended them to others, with d- uiueo uenent and however far-fetcliea nod unpromising such simple rule may seem at first they are always eaHy to try.-New York Sun. There Is quite a dirfwrnncn between going In and going out of office. A tin"! Is sworu In, but be usually does ths swearlug himself when he goes out 1 Aia f Mbium! I J VI
