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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (March 7, 1920)
V- . THE SUSDAY " OREGOXIAX, PORTLAND, MARCH 7, 1920 . i . . - J . . . -r. : t. : -: . Shopping Is One Art Man Can't Master, Says Writer. Women Kowr Hon, Deaplte All , Jokri Regardine Metnoda Prra , Hup to Mrx, la Declaration of Mere Mialr Wao Hn Ventured tu Try Hand. t -r CARTOONIST BRIGGS VISUALIZES SEVERAL SUBJECTS BY JAMES J. MONTAGUE. 'OMEN, as novelists and philoso phers have said, have a way with them. I have often noticed it par ticularly in stores. - Women know how to, shop. Men don't. I used to believe the comic oaper jokes about women going from place to ice. pawing- over everything on the counters and not buying any thing. I don't any more. I have seen them :it their work, and I know that eventually, if not right at the mo ment, i hey do buy something, and buy what they -want. And they usually get it-at the price they intended to pay when they started out. I have tried shopping myself, with results which may be called .neutral. And my experience is still fresh in my mind. It happened that the household was out of lettuce, and its general man aer being otherwise employed, I was st fit out .to get it. "Lion't cot any of that sluzy, faded lcttuy." 1 was told. "Feel the heads yourself. Peel off the outer leaves, and see if they are large and firm before you buy them." 1 had seen this done when carrying parcels for the general manager, and I supposed it could be accomplishe4 without difficulty. 1 went into a vegetable market near by. The proprietor was busy for which I was grateful. I wanted to f'-el the lettuce, as instructed, but I didn't have the nerve to do it before his. eves. fn a bin close at hand were 10 or 15 heads. 1 punched one of them tenta tively. It seemed to yield to my prod ding finger. 1'icking it up, after a furtive glance at the proprietor, 1 divested it of o;fe of its outer leaves. 9 , .But 1 wasn't quick enough. The proprietor left the customer on whom he was waiting and leaped to my side. "You buyaT" he inquired, lowering at me. "J I'm not sure; I wanted to see If it was good." "You no buy, what for you teara all toliell? Twenty cent." "Too murh!" "You spoila. You buya." Jlis aspect was menacing. I bonghta. 1 also bought two others, wholly on ocular evidence that they were sound. When 1 got home I found that they were not sound. I found further that far better lettuce could be bought for 15 cents a head, that they would al ways cheat you if you didn't examine them, and that it was perfectly ridicu lous to let an ignorant foreigner scare you Hut of your wits when, if you had the hast hit of courage, you could make him give you the kind of let tuce you wanted at a reasonable price. Hut I didn't learn anything about fiiioupitig. that is. A few days thereafter I had to go to the butcher shop. Again I received exact instructions as to how to pro ceed. instructions so exact in fact that they., were insulting to my Intelli rence. and deenlv resented. "1 know. I know," I grunted. ' "I guess I can be trusted to buy a little v meat." There was no reassuring response At the butcher shop 1 found the steaks, already cut. under a glass counter, where 1 could not get my linriHs mi them. '- I had been told not to get one of these, but to insist on having one cut from the large hunks that hang some where back in the icebox. "1 want," 1 said, "a porterhouse steak, of about three pounds, cut thick, with considerable fat and a . lariie tenderloin." The butcher reached under the case, drew out a thin, rangy steak tend slapped it before me. "i should prefer to have one cut," I said. "This is cut, ain't it?" "I mean cut off the bigger piece." "This wan was cut off the biggest piece in the cow." "I mean one of those in the ice box." . , There ain't no more in the icebox. Will,yez have this wan?" "I don't think so." "All right," and back it went into the case. "But 1 want a steak"' "Well, didn't 1 show yez a steak. "But 1 want a " 'Twas a good steak. Take it or leave it." 1 took it. It did not prove satisfactory when I arrived home with it. Mv explanations were received cold ly. "At last 1 got mad. and suggested that it was tnc best steak to be had. :.nrt that anvbody would have taken it The general manager riut on her hat and coat and departed down the street. She returned with a "porter ' house steak of about three pounds, cut thick, with considerable fat and a larse tenderloin.'- 1 don't know how she did it. ir I did I would do the same thing myseii next time. . . . y. But to hope to do so is idle. If I go into a department store -and begin fingering ihiiiRs,o" the counter, as dozens of women around, me do. the saleswoman signals to a large, flatfooted man in the aisle, who comes and stands behind me. ' I alwavs buv something then in a hurry, to cover my embarrassment, ' but he usually accompanies me to the door as I go out. -. Shopping-is an art. There may be men who have mastered it, but if there are I never met any of them, t Copyright. 191-0. by Bell Syndicate. Inc.) "IMC SaxS or RciL -S'PO'Vr ' - -t " v . , thaw Jus Caise If VCS v ' r look at Your. - x , I Sj-J" GOl-DtSet DaV5 , -" . -r N. ' ) f'M Y0JR I i - 'U1 sw::;v. . llv .- wv HAS MELTED v' ' sjr 0!p VwOMtR WHAT A VRffSl DSNTIAL PoS SI Bill Tr ThihKS Atoof OH MAN ., . tov . hi m ,. hi m 5 1 u Taks a Taste-.--! I - S ' yi - ChThoof UnV GOD-- X 7f 3v- OCT , experiments' AND P- 5 A-4 7, X" JJ Z '" CW4EOF IT- fin I Twe WHITE HOUSE.! tje - livms in The : TO IV. IT ALMOST F"RtfnTeN-S Me To Thikik op it - (M WASHINGTON PReSlDENT OP Th UKiTCD STATES- MEl Tuer want ms To R.om For PR?iDBnt- 1 1 (josmI t Lt 8T IT3 5om5 8eoTifyL teAtM - I Can t Bs-UEVE ThA.T I AM - PHSV J)ST Tmiimm OF iT! 'Ml Really- I GASP T 1 - I CAN T I D NlAKeT AS CooO t AT TMAT . Me Tm 111.. I I. IhC United 4TaTc V PESHAP6 tow rik L. . I Tm (V- vTot Out S""f UilSTock- ) F,FTr po,KjTi H ri I STOCK Through J V-S 'rL ) I OF MiNE- HE LAU6h) - Yoj ACT I S X MtA FOB. VuARV 5ToPF- WOuLtJM'T JJOUBl-e A6 ThOJ6h IT 1 f HE'S An OLD HAMA n, s CtoiS "Z-Jf (BreHW School. "Pal. He A fm. 'ijY tcsJr? Oregon, Sophomore Serves America and Canada. Ilia Record Include Turf rmrm ia Army of Britain aad 1 Montha nltrd Statra Ietroyrr. would permit he enlisted in the United States navy as quartermaster, second class, and served, 13 months on the destroyer Maryan. Current la Oeirrmined. Exchange. The electrical worker is often called upon to determine whether the cur rent at an outlet is alternating or direct, and whether the voltage-is 110 or 220. To indicate quickly and easily what kind of current is pres ent a "determihator" has been devel oped. To operate the instrument its two plugs, which are of the knife blade type and .constructed to render short circuits or shocks impossible, are placed in contact with the wires or terminals and a button at the bot tom of the detfrmlnator is pressed. Then, should the current be diject, the letters "D. C." appear wkhin one of the circles at the top of the device, back of the letters indicates whether the voltag-er is 110 or 220. v Like a Menagerie. . Indianapolis News. "Wolf, Fox, Lyon," called the ser geant as he ushered . three recruitB into the marine corps recruiting of fice re'eently at Buffalo. "It sounds like a menagerie," aid the recruiting while If the alternating -current is j officer to the sergeant. "Do you think present A. c snows up in the other we re signing up animal acts for a circle. The brilliancy of Jhe - lights I circus?" No. sir," replied the ser-' geant, "but there is still one more man to sign up, captain." "Bring him in." "Baer!" shouted the sergeant, and the fourth recruit entered. The four recruits were James K. Fox of Gate. N. Y. ; James Baer of Erie, Fa. ; George R. Wolf of Warren, Pa., and Charles Lyon of Rochester, N. Y. BertlHon System Sketched. , Boston Globe. The Bertillon system was named for Alpiion8e Bertillon. who was at one time chief of the identification bureau of police in Paris. He adopted a meth od of identification which has proved almost infallible wherever used. The principles of the system consist of taking measurements of the bony and least changeable parts of the adult, such as the length and breadth of the Jiead, length of the spine, forearm, finger, nose, car, etc.; in giving the color and other characteristics of the eye, color of the hair, etc.. and in giving, marks, results of disease, wounds, tattooing, etc., which ara re corded in regular order on cards and filed away in groups, according to some prominent measurement. It Is said that the chance of error in iden tification by this system is but one in 13,000.000. Aaxtrnlia MuLri I'ipra. Indianapolis News. Tobacco pipes are now being nmdr from Australian Mouds, which in ap pearance and finish compare very favorably with imported pipes of good uu.-illty. In one of the faetorlen In .Melbourne all of the work l lnn liv disabled .Vusti .ili.in soldiers and employment ia reserved for IIkiu exclusively. "Moiintlc.i" Open rw I'n1. TIIK PAS. Man. Thn royal t'ana dian mounivd police have nimucd a. post at the mouth of th fopucr.Mlim rlvrr on the Arctic ocean, the nt. northerly and Isolated point in. tho Jurisdiction of the force. LIVE NATIONAL TOPICS OF TODAY INSPIRE DARLING u .VIVKUSITY OF OREGON, gene. Mar. 6. (Special.) w Hl- . Im Jennings Poteet of Portland. sophomore ln-the University 'of Ore gon, majoring" in law, has the ufiusuaa distinction of being, at 22, a veteran of the armv pf one nation and of the navy of another. At '17 he enlisted in the Canadian forces, passing him self off as of mature years on ac count of his strapping statyre. Two year later, an invalided veteran, ho "became a aeaman in the navy Of the United States. Poteet was attending high school fn Spokane when the war in Europe broke out. Of an adventurous nature, lie cduld not keep out of the struggle and was soon across the border a full-mledged private in the--econd .Canadian contingent. Only a few - months after hi enlistment bo went .' across with he 29th battallqn. ..Kol- - lowed more months of trainirrsn . Kngland. then the third battle- of Ypres"; the Somme campaign: Vimy Ridge and a shrapnel-shattered arm; British hospital at St- Oner; "three months an invalid, then back to the ' Ridge the Canadians made famous; finally trench fever, which resulted in a discharge and a Canadian pen sion. '.' Poteet reached Portland in. 1917, his parents having moved from Spokane. He was one of the very first soldiers who had at .that time returned from the Var. and as such was treated ;:-with great kindness. His illness rftid reduced his weight from 175 to 120. Becoming tired of civilian lire 'in-a short time, as soon aa his health - ?: ! , : : . , ' i i : , i ; , - . . 7V VACANT CrtIR 7"&.SCt S?f? ALtTTLB SOMETHtMQ 0Y THE H ; . I , 7jmt,sm '"5, - . ..... T ... . ... . -